


BROKEN HEARTS AND ANGELS (JIRAIYA’S LAST ANGEL)

by CrimsonEmbrace



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:19:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 407,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonEmbrace/pseuds/CrimsonEmbrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About the end of a relationship... and the beginning of something more,</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. BROKEN HEARTS AND ANGELS (JIRAIYA’S LAST ANGEL chap 1)

**Author's Note:**

> BEGAN 2012 - FINISHED 2016

**JIRAIYA’S LAST ANGEL - CHAPTER 1**  
\----------------------------------------  


The old woman gave an exasperated chastisement, “Why don’t you grow up?”

  
  
Jiraiya laughed, his smile devilish, but his eyes held sadness.  This 'mischief' was just a futile effort to find some way to continue forward.  “That doesn’t sound fun... I wouldn't want everyone to forget me.  Besides, what would you do without me livening up your day?" 

  
  
The wrinkled cheeks dimpled slightly as she smiled, giving a brief look at the incredible beauty of her youth. “Jiraiya, there is no one like you.”

  
  
Jiraiya dipped his head to kiss her softly on the cheek.  Drawing back he grinned lasciviously, “Given my penchant for getting in trouble I think that maybe be a good thing.”

  
  
The woman laughed and teased, “Just try to stay out of trouble for the rest of the day...”  Then she  turned and walked back into the bathhouse once more.

  
  
'Research' was all he had to try to ease his loneliness.  His heart had been hurt so many times, he swore never to risk it again.   Sadly it was a promise to himself he couldn't keep.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Even though he tried to avoid it, one day he started talking to Mikomi, a young leaf nin, they hit it off so easily.  It seemed they understood each other so very well.  Those were the happy days, but even as he enjoyed them he knew it wouldn’t last… this relationship was doomed to fail just as every other relationship of his had.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


Jiraiya watched his young lover with sad eyes, Mikomi grew more withdrawn daily,  and he felt like he was balanced at the edge of a precipice.  The pain was an fiery burn in his heart... another dream, another lie, he was a fool.   

 

Others said to forget him and to let go of him, he'd heard that so many times over the years, at the end of every one of his failed relationships.  But it wasn't that easy, forget his Angel... that was not something he could do.  They did not face the ‘void’, the pit of hopeless despair that loomed inches below him and they were asking him to let go and be swallowed by the terrible darkness once more... love could not be turned off like a switch.

 

Time passed in the haze of constant caring for Mikomi, comforting and… pleasing him.  He'd dreamed of a future of love, but that was not possible.  With every day his lover's unhappiness grew, and so did Jiraiya's depression until he thought he'd drown in it but he pushed it down, locking it deep inside with all the other pain.  So much pain he held inside, sometimes he felt that was the only thing left inside him, and he waited knowing more would come.

  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


The day he dreaded loomed closer...

  
It did not actually matter if it was they cheated, needed time or any of the dozens of other excuses they gave...  Jiraiya smiled sadly, “I understand, please don’t cry.” And he really did understand, he knew this would happen, he’d allowed himself to dream it wouldn’t but deep down inside he knew. He’d seen it happen too many times to be surprised…but even knowing it was coming didn’t prevent the pain in his heart.  “I don’t hate you... Mikomi, I’m not angry.”

 

Jiraiya wrapped his arms around the young man in a gentle, loving hug and the distraught man clung to him as he cried.  He continued to apologize, “I’m so sorry.”

  
  
Jiraiya wasn’t even sure what it was this time, what ‘terrible’ wrong his lover felt he had committed, but it didn’t matter.  Jiraiya stroked his back and soothed, “I know. Shh... it’s ok.”

  
  
The dark-haired man drew back slightly, his face rosy with distress. “How can you say that?!  How can you forgive me?”

  
  
To the young everything was so black and white, everything was forever and they believed in happily ever after.  Jiraiya gave Mikomi a tender smile, “Because I love you.”

  
The younger man laid his face on Jiraiya’s sodden shirt front once more, still crying although sobs didn’t rack his body anymore.  “I don’t deserve forgiveness!  I don’t deserve your love... I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you!”  
  
Jiraiya held in his sigh, how many times had he heard that?  He couldn’t count all the lovers and relationships that had come and gone. “You deserve much more than you think, more than my love.  You are precious, my Tenshi, you will always be precious to me.”  Jiraiya reassured truthfully.  So very many lovers... and some would be with him forever, scars upon his heart and bittersweet memories.    


This was the beginning of the end.  He could no longer break free of the coming tragedy.  Even knowing the end was coming Jiraiya couldn’t walk away, wouldn’t give up these last days, weeks or months; however much longer it would last.

  
Sometimes all that you had was whatever acceptance you could reach… the world isn’t pretty.  No happily ever after, no flowers and beautiful sunsets, he'd learned that the hard way.  


The forlorn young nin looked up and sniffled, “I love you. I love you so very much.”  
  
Jiraiya stroked his cheek gently, “I love you.”  Even after he was just a memory to the young man he would still love his Tenshi.

 

This would be the last, his heart couldn’t take any more pain... this would be the last person he’d allow himself to be in a relationship with, his Tenshi would be his last love.  Jiraiya cupped the soft, flawless face and kissed him tenderly.

  
The day he knew would happen came not long after that.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

“I’ll be back in a few months… I promise.” Mikomi’s earnest eyes held guilt, they both knew he'd volunteered to go to Suna on a training exchange.

 

Mikomi’s  gaze had a note of fear in it… he knew in his heart that it would never be the same, deep inside he knew he would not return to Jiraiya even after he returned from Suna.  All of this was a lie and they both knew it, but they still pretended nothing had changed.  
  
Jiraiya watched him leave, he couldn’t let him know how much it hurt, couldn’t do what he so desperately wanted to do.  Begging him would change nothing, another hard lesson he'd learned long ago.  
  
His Angel had tears in his eyes and he hesitated before going out the gate, looking back at Jiraiya mournfully, then looked away and continued out the gate without a word.

 

Jiraiya  silently watched, he could not say how badly he wanted to gather him in his arms and kiss his tears away.  He knew it wasn’t right, it would only make his Angel feel worse, but his heart ached as he fought against the urge, against his love… against the knowledge of the days and nights he’d sit alone thinking about him and fighting back tears.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Weeks passed, he loved him deeply even now.  At first he hoped, even knowing it was foolish, his sweet Tenshi would return and that he'd still love him.  Jiraiya knew he’d welcome him gratefully and he wasn’t sure he could bear to give him up again.  
  
As the weeks turned into months, he smiled and played the 'happy fool', but inside he felt empty…so tired, emotionally void of every good feeling he once had. He didn’t want to think about the future, to envision how his life would be without his Tenshi by his side.  
  
Just like every lover before, male and female, it had come to end the same way. _‘I just need time…’_ turned to not contacting him for weeks. Jiraiya knew the moment Mikomi said he ' _needed to go away for 'a bit'_ , but didn’t say when he’d return.  He’d known then and yet it still hurt when they’d cease talking about returning… when they’d cease talking at all.  
  
Yes… Jiraiya had known the minute he’d walked out the door that his Tenshi wouldn’t come back to him. No matter what they’d said or what they promised… they couldn’t take being with him any longer.   He held no anger, no bitterness toward them… any of the many who’d come into his life and left with a piece of his heart.  No he didn’t blame them at all, they’d done what was best for them… he loved them and wanted above all for them to be happy.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Over 2 months had passed now, he hadn't heard anything from Mikomi since the day he walked out the gate...

 

It hadn’t been some big dramatic fight; there had not been this big event… just one night Mikomi had said he ‘needed some time’ that he was ‘going to go away for a little while’.

 

Why couldn't he find acceptance?  This had happened so many times.  Lost in his dismal thoughts he didn't see his beloved at first, then their eyes met and Jiraiya felt like his heart was being slowly cut out, a feeling that grew stronger as Mikomi walked over to him.

 

Mikomi couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’m sorry… I just…”  
  


Jiraiya didn’t need to hear any apologies or excuses. “It’s ok...” He interrupted in a quiet tone, this was his life, the way it would always be… unlike his books, there was no happy endings, this was reality.  It was painful to hear his Tenshi's voice and he longed to touch him, but Jiraiya turned to walk away.

 

Mikomi caught his arm and Jiraiya felt the familiar pain grow stronger, he couldn’t look at him it hurt too badly.  “Please, don’t… you left me and didn’t say when you were coming back.  I understand, I told you I’ve had lots of people leave me, I don’t blame them or you. I’m supporting you in what’s best for you."

 

Jiraiya gently drew his arm away, this time his beloved allowed him to walk away without  protest. 

 

Jiraiya didn’t go back to his hotel room, everything there could be replaced, he walked out of the town without looking back.  This was why he traveled, he couldn’t get too close, he couldn’t love…

 

No matter how much he hurt, no matter how badly he wanted to tell Mikomi, his last Tenshi how greatly he missed him… that his whole world was empty without him, he couldn’t. He’d see the beauty of a rainbow or a glorious sunset and it hurt him because he was alone.  What was beauty if there was no one to share it with?  
  


And through all the pain he continued to show only his happy light hearted playful side, a mask nothing more.  The red tattoo’s running down his cheeks were markers of his tears from the beginnings of the dash of red under his eyes during youth… marks of the pain of losing his parents, to the betrayal of Orochimaru who he’d grown up beside like a brother… all the heart shattering moments until today.  The marks were thick and long now… so much pain burned deep into his heart as thick as the lines on his face… lines that ran the whole length of his face and with every heart break grew thicker.  
  
Tsunade was the only one who knew the pain he lived, no one else could be allowed… to let anyone in was to bear his heart to the knife once more. There were no happy endings in life, pain and suffering was the only thing guaranteed.

 

He tried to stay away from everyone, but he craved people so moving quickly from town to town doing his ‘research’ was the only thing he could do.  They thought he was only watching the girls because of perverse need but it was more than that.  He lived second hand through them watching as they interacted, played, laughed and loved… watching them enjoy life as he could not.  


He missed a warm body and holding someone in his arms. He would drink to try to kill the pain of loneliness and woo the harlots in the bars because he knew they were not someone he could fall in love with.  Their shallow petty hearts could never love, only love his money.  He lay out in the fields most nights, sleeping on a mat to raise him off the ground and keep him dry… looking up at the stars until he’d fall asleep, reliving the memories of his past.  Often his heart would cry but rarely did those tears show on his face.  Those were 'fools tears', they brought no relief, no resolution and no peace… this was reality.  
  
\----------------------------------------------  


**END OF CHAPTER 1**  
  
_Mikomi means ‘hope’_


	2. ANGEL'S FLY AWAY (JIRAIYA’S LAST ANGEL PART 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya finds this time he can't just walk away... but from who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tenshi - Means 'Angel'  
> Koi/Koishii - Means 'beloved'  
> Biki - Means 'beautiful maiden'

**ANGEL'S FLY AWAY (JIRAIYA’S LAST ANGEL PART 2)**

\--------------------------------------

  
Jiraiya watched him from his place of concealment, this time it was different... he couldn't stop himself or at least that's the lie he told himself.  Every few months he'd return to watch his Tenshi, to dream of holding him, feeling his warm body in his arms and kissing his tender lips.

  
He wanted so badly to beg him to come back to him, so far he'd resisted the urge but every time he struggled a new.  He knew he should go far away, so far that he couldn't keep returning to torment himself, but he did not.

  
He watched every kiss his beautiful Tenshi gave his new lover and 'felt' it every time... longed for it to be real.  Every glance of love Mikomi gave the other man sent his heart plunging, hurting like it was being crushed.  
  
\-------------------------

  
**Ibiki picked up the report and sighed, third day and he was still here... he needed to go talk to him, this was unhealthy , returning every few months to watch your former lover and his partner.**  
  
\------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya sat watching him just like the two days before... eventually he'd be able to make himself leave, but not yet.  
  
He could feel the nin behind him before ever turning, he'd known he was watched by ANBU, but this wasn't just an ANBU...

 

**"Jiraiya why are you here?"**  
  
Jiraiya didn't look back. "Hello Ibiki."  He didn't have it in him to play the jovial fool and he knew with Ibiki he didn't need to keep up the pretense.   
  
**"You know you have to let him go."**

 

Jiraiya didn't reply but he didn't need to Ibiki was only saying what they both were thinking.  
  
**Ibiki could see the sorrow in every movement the powerful Sannin made, the way he could not tear his eyes away from Mikomi.  
  
****"Come, have a drink with me."  Ibiki's unpremeditated offer surprised him as much as it did Jiraiya, but he did not regret it.**

**The older man looked back, his gaze serious.  "You don't drink."**

**Ibiki acknowledged the observation with a nod.  "But you do and I will sit with you, we need to talk."  
  
Jiraiya rose to his feet, forced a jovial smile.  "Lead the way."**

 

He knew Ibiki was not fooled by the attempt at levity, but Jiraiya had a different reason to wish him to 'lead the way', he did not wish to take him to anywhere the scarred man would be uncomfortable. Although Ibiki did not show any emotion, and would not have appeared uncomfortable, he would have been.  
  
**Ibiki turned and they walked, taking out of the way and nearly empty streets, the Sannin wouldn't wish the attention any more than he would.  He understood and appreciated Jiraiya's sensitivity in allowing him to choose a place, the effort to not make him uncomfortable was compassionate and he found it was easier to relax around the other man then he had thought it would be.  Although their lives had not been similar, they both had an understanding of deep pain and emotional loss, of wounds that could not be healed only borne as best as possible day by day.  
  
****"Jiraiya..."  Suddenly nothing he could say was right, he couldn't tell him that Mikomi was happier... healthier now or that it would have never worked between his young lover and him.  These were things that they both knew and yet it changed nothing.  Once more Ibiki spoke without planning his words.  "I worry about you, this isn't healthy for you."   The Sannin was a kind and loving man, but when a relationship ended it had to end completely, this was preventing Jiraiya from going on with his life.  
  
**

  
Jiraiya smiled over at the younger man, why this man was still alone he didn't know, he had never met anyone who understood and empathized with others more.  "I will be alright."  Although Jiraiya's light tone and smile hadn't wavered, Ibiki's eyes looked right past it and Jiraiya's playful spirit dissipated like smoke from a doused fire.  "I know I can't keep doing this."

 

Jiraiya knew Ibiki understood very well why he still did... the need to not be alone, to somehow in a small way be a part of his Tenshi's life... to feel alive and not as if he drifted through the world unseen.  
  
**This wasn't a conversation for a public place, a place where you needed to guard your emotions or temper your words.  Ibiki guided them away from the town towards his house on the outskirts of the village, although he did not drink he did have some alcohol left from some event or another that had made it to his home... but he doubted Jiraiya needed to drink, what he needed was to talk.**  
  
Jiraiya was aware they'd changed their course and as they neared the outer rim of the village he wondered once more why Ibiki remained alone... Yes, he had been hurt.  There were many things that would be difficult, but with someone who loved him there was nothing 'damaged' inside him that could not be repaired.  
  
**Ibiki opened the door to his house and stood aside for Jiraiya to enter, then closed it quietly.  It should feel odd to have someone in his house, the last time someone had been inside it had been well before his 'time' with the Rain village.  At first it did feel a bit strange to see Jiraiya sitting there on his couch, but as he found and poured Jiraiya a drink it started to feel less... uncomfortable.**  
  
Jiraiya had walked in and sat, although he had some interest in the unusual objects Ibiki had scattered around his home he did not go to study them.  This had been a profound step for the solitary man, he was aware Ibiki was not very social and it was unlikely many people had been allowed into his home.   Ibiki set the drink on the low table before Jiraiya and sat in the chair facing him.  
  
**Now that they sat alone, Ibiki was even less certain what to say than before.  Inane things like 'things will get better' would have been shallow and meaningless when said in a public place, sitting here in his home they seemed like a straight out lie.  So they just sat in silence, with Jiraiya sipping on the offered drink occasionally.  It was not an awkward silence, more like a companionable comfortable silence of people who knew each other well.  
**  
Ibiki didn't try to make small talk, pretend interest in his books or travels, just sat there patiently, his gaze accepting.  To Jiraiya's surprise the words came easily. "He's not the first to leave... and I know this is what is best, for us both. I just can't let go... I was such a fool, I knew it could never work. That all that could happen is that we both would get hurt and yet given the opportunity to have his love, for even that brief time, I'd do it again."  
  
**Ibiki found himself highly skeptical that it had hurt Mikomi as much as Jiraiya thought.  Jiraiya was a phase to the 'boy', a novelty.... the immature nin was too young, he was incapable of having true love for anyone yet.  Even the partner the young man had right now would only be a stepping stone towards the day when it was possible for him to understand and have a mature relationship and real love.  No, the youth had not loved Jiraiya, but there was no doubt Jiraiya had loved him deeply.**  
  
Jiraiya found it was easy to express his feelings to Ibiki and in talking it had clarified things in his mind.  He had needed to talk about it, to try to understand and cope with the loss.  He gave a little self-mocking smile.  "I knew he would leave... he just kept saying he would never leave me.  I knew better than to believe, but somewhere deep inside he'd managed to give me a spark of hope.  Why can't I just leave him alone?  This was exactly what needed to happen for us both and yet it hurts so greatly.  I miss touching him, combing my fingers through his hair, feeling his warm body in my arms as we went to sleep.  I remember things we did together... places we went, all the things I would never have thought to go see without him by my side.  Now there is no one to go to those places and see things beside... going places alone is just empty."  
  
**Ibiki understood that very well, he'd felt that loss as he recovered from his torture and tried to come to grips with the fact his brother fled.  Not went to get help, left him to be killed, but then killing would have been too kind.  What they'd done was so much worse.  Would it have mattered to Idate?  Would knowing they would torture him have changed his decision to abandon him and run?  He wasn't sure, but even knowing all this he felt sorrow at the loss of the last member of his family.  Suddenly alone there was no one to point out the brilliant moon in the sky... the fact the cherry trees were blooming... Ibiki could feel his pain and he understood it.  Although he hadn't managed to even successfully date since his torture he knew the feeling of longing.  Dreaming... hoping for someone who would stay beside him, someone who cared and understood.  Someone he could love.  
**  
Jiraiya rose, suddenly he just wanted to be alone... it was time to leave again.  "Thank you for listening... for inviting me to your house and the drink, but I think it's time for me to go."   
  
**Jiraiya smiled, but Ibiki was well aware it was an expression only and did not mean anything...  merely a polite thing one did and he rose to let his guest out.  As he stood beside the door, he studied the incredible man that the child had thrown away and saw the anguish in the extraordinary man's eyes.  It prompted him to do something he never thought he would.  Instead of opening the door he reached out, cupped Jiraiya's head and drew him into a kiss.**  
  
Jiraiya was stunned, for a second he froze like a teen who'd never been kissed, then his blood heated and he hungrily reacted.  Embracing the solid weight to him, his tongue feathered lightly against Ibiki's lips, but at the way Ibiki stiffened he softened his behavior.  Slowly and skillfully he tempted Ibiki further allowing his companion's tongue entrance to his mouth as his lips teased him.  Ibiki gave a muted moan that sent a thrill through Jiraiya.

 

Unlike any of the others this man matched him nearly perfectly, in height and weight, this was not a fragile man he would have to take care not to 'crush'... but as they continued Jiraiya realized Ibiki was much more fragile than he'd ever thought.  The way Ibiki froze every time his hands moved... Jiraiya had the sudden realization, this man had not allowed another's touch since the horrible abuse he suffered.  This was wrong...  
  
**Ibiki struggled with the surges of fear and aggression he felt at every shift of the experienced Sannin's hands, his body teased... tempted into not drawing away.  Jiraiya suddenly grew very gentle, softly kissing him, his hands remained still, lightly resting across his upper back as he held him, the desire and need in his actions tempered and restrained.  The gentle kiss no longer just passion but tender affection, and even harder to resist.  Ibiki molded Jiraiya's body to him feeling the solid warmth of him, the sculpted muscles flexing beneath his fingers as Jiraiya welcomed his every touch.  He was extremely aroused but froze when he felt Jiraiya's erection pressed to him and nearly shoved him away.  Jiraiya shifted his weight, the movement placing his body more angled away and although he could still feel his erection it was seductive brushes and not the press of before.**  
  
Jiraiya knew he should stop, this was wrong and it needed to end here, Ibiki was not ready to take anything further.  But feeling Ibiki's firm lips on his and the solid hard frame beneath his hands... he hadn't been so tempted in a very long time.  Anything he did would be a mix of terror and, hopefully, pleasure to the younger man but he just wasn't sure he could do it.  Knowing he frightened him he couldn't so much as stroke the tempting man.  
  
**Ibiki felt the reservation in Jiraiya's kiss grow, until the exceptional lover broke the kiss.  The older man looked in his eyes with an understanding and acceptance Ibiki was sure he'd never find in any other lover.  Jiraiya was the only one who he could attempt this with, the only one he thought may be able to be his first since his 'captivity'.  
  
Jiraiya shook his head, "I can't... I frighten you."   
  
Ibiki returned his gaze seriously.  "Anyone would cause me this anxiety, but you less than any other person I know."  Jiraiya looked at him with such deep concern, his hand reached up to brush his cheek then hesitated.  Ibiki took it and placed it on his cheek, there was no other he could trust and he asked. "Please."  
**  
It hurt to hear Ibiki ask for his touch like he didn't desire to touch him.  Jiraiya gently caressed his face and vowed, "Anything you wish.  Anything you need... I will give it to you."  Then carefully drew him forward into a kiss once more.  Ibiki relaxed faster this time, his body already aroused and dulling his now instinctual resistance to being touched.  Slowly Jiraiya massaged Ibiki's upper back and he pressed firmer into the kiss, deepening it and tasting Jiraiya's mouth again with increasingly stronger passion until he was moaning into their kiss.   
  
**Jiraiya excited him, the feel of him under his hands as he embraced his body, and the soft encouraging moans the sensual man gave with every touch of his hands.  Ibiki's hands eagerly unfastened his shirt and he groaned at the feel of Jiraiya's skin under his fingers, the chance to touch someone... he hadn't realized how he'd missed the feel of another's skin beneath his hands.  He took Jiraiya's hand and placed it on the front of his shirt then deepened the kiss once more.  
**  
Jiraiya nimbly removed Ibiki's shirt his fingers lightly brushing over his skin and bringing needy moans... scar tissue.  He understood and his touch was feather soft over the tender skin, still it brought such a fevered response it shocked even the highly experienced man.  Ibiki groaned, thrusting against him urgently.  Jiraiya stroked his face, then drew back from the kiss.  "Please can I?"  His eyes drifted down to his partner's engorged cock straining at the cloth of his pants.  He didn't want Ibiki to be uncomfortable in anyway, and if his lover could let him take care of his strong need he would be _much_ more comfortable.  
  
**Although uncertain, Ibiki cautiously nodded, Jiraiya slowly slipped down to kneeling before him.  Light brushes of his fingers was all Ibiki felt, then he was exposed and the powerful Sannin kneeling before him watched his face as he softly kissed the flushed head.  Ibiki cried out in pleasure, and as Jiraiya slowly licked the swollen flesh he was breathless gasping and panting at the overwhelming sensations.  He'd never imagined anything could ever feel so heavenly!  Tears came to his eyes and trailed down his cheeks at the nearly unbearable ecstasy.  
**  
Jiraiya had to hide his urge to cry when he saw his lover's cock, even there he bore scars, the trust he was offering was overwhelming.  There was nothing he wouldn't do to give this man the greatest pleasure possible, every rapturous cry was wonderful to hear.  Jiraiya's mouth covered the head of his cock and his hands lightly rest on his partner's hips urging him to thrust in.  Ibiki pressed forward nearly howling in ecstasy and Jiraiya encouraged him, with gentle draws forward until he was thrusting into his mouth.  Then dropped his hands from his lover's hips and relaxed his throat muscles allowing it to sink deeper and flicking his tongue on the underside of the head with every draw back.  

 

In seconds Ibiki was trembling and moaning loudly, his cock bucking in Jiraiya's throat as he came.   Slowly Jiraiya let the sated flesh slip free of his lips to the cooler air of the room and rose up to see Ibiki's tear dampened face, he tenderly kissed the moist skin.  He felt a strong adoration for him and gratitude for the gift of his trust   He would not kiss his fragile partner unless he instigated it, he was afraid the taste of cum would be distressing to Ibiki... he had absolutely no doubt they'd abused him in every way including fucking his mouth, the fact he could not accept Jiraiya's tongue in his mouth was a clear sign. Instead he placed soft affectionate kisses over his throat and upper shoulders.  
  
**The look of deep concern in Jiraiya's eyes when he saw his tears was so astounding that he was stunned for a moment, then cupped the extraordinary man's face and kissed him deeply refusing to stop when he tasted cum and deepening the kiss.  He was deeply thankful that this man existed and was here with him.  He could lightly feel Jiraiya's hard cock but if it hadn't been for that he would have never known from the tender way he kissed him that he was probably so aroused it hurt.  Very reluctantly his hand slipped down to the rigid still confined length. Jiraiya broke the kiss, looked affectionately in his eyes and shook his head no.**   
  
He could give Ibiki pleasure but he could not allow him to do what had been forced on him by his captors.  Jiraiya resumed kissing his throat down to the ravaged skin of his chest, slowly tracing the silky scars with the tip of his tongue and feeling his partner arch into his touch, gasping at the amazing sensations as his cock flushed until he was hard once more. 

 

Ibiki's hands cupped and kneaded at him in rising need and his mouth started placing passionate suckling little kisses over Jiraiya's throat.  Jiraiya moaned but remained ready to stop him the moment Ibiki began to be uncomfortable, he didn't want this to be anything but a pleasurable experience, he would not leave him do something that would cause the shame he'd felt at the Rain nin's hands.  
  
**Ibiki wanted Jiraiya greatly; wanted to feel the man's body beneath him, enclosing his aching cock in the depths of his body, but would he allow it?  Jiraiya nuzzled up to his ear, his tone gentle as he said, "Anything." It left Ibiki trembling in lust, and his heart full of affection for the incredible man.  He** **drew back and lead Jiraiya to the bedroom.**

**Jiraiya watched Ibiki as he stripped, his eyes full of desire, then moaned ecstatically writhing under his hands as Ibiki stepped forward and removed his shirt.  Ibiki stroked over the enticing muscles of the seductive man before him as Jiraiya unfastened and allowed his pants to drop, then stepped free of them.  Ibiki froze looking at his engorged cock, he only had a moment to remember the despair he'd felt with every one of the dozens of Rain nin thrusting into him before Jiraiya cupped his face urging him to look up and began tenderly kissing him.**  
  
Ibiki groaned in pleasure as he caressed Jiraiya, when he suddenly stopped frozen looking at Jiraiya's cock.   Jiraiya felt powerful protectiveness for him, he drew his face up and kept him passionately  kissing him.  He didn't ever want Ibiki to feel that shame again, soon the fragile man relaxed and his hands caressed Jiraiya's back down to the cheeks of his ass.  

 

Jiraiya wantonly pressed back into the light grasp... this would be the most difficult part, he had no idea what they'd done, what they said and he didn't want any of those memories tainting the experience.  He kissed Ibiki's ear and murmured, "Talk to me, tell me how you feel, what you want... what brings you pleasure."  
  
**Ibiki laid Jiraiya down on the bed, feeling the strong thighs part to let him lay between them. "Touch me." Ibiki panted softly.  Jiraiya's hands moved carefully brushing over his upper body never going below the waist.  Ibiki moaned, "I need you!"  
**  
Jiraiya stroked his cheek, he very much regretted he did not have lube, but it was not something he kept directly on him in spite of others belief he was a pervert.  Ibiki would not hurt him since he could relax his muscles, but the tight feel as Ibiki pushed into his body maybe very distressing.  Jiraiya broke the kiss looking seriously in his eyes. "Can I lay on top of you?"

 

Ibiki hesitantly nodded, still Jiraiya paused a moment longer studying his eyes looking for any sign of distress. "You must tell me if anything causes anxiety... please."  Jiraiya kissed him, then concluded. "It's very important to me."  
  
**Ibiki's uneasiness faded as looked into the compassionate man's eyes and felt such a deep adoration for him, like he had not felt for anyone since he and his brother had lived together... but different.  He trusted him.**

**"Yes."  Ibiki promised as he rolled to place the other man on top.  Jiraiya kissed and licked over his throat and chest until he was moaning breathlessly.**  
  
Jiraiya kept him distracted with his mouth as his fingers moved back to stretch himself, it was the best he could do.  With him on top it would at least not be Ibiki having to thrust into him, but him pressing down to take Ibiki inside him, hopefully that would be less distressing.  When he was as prepared as possible, he shifted his body up and slowly slipped back down positioning Ibiki's cock to press into his body.  

  
**Ibiki cried out at the overwhelming pleasure the sensation of his cock being swallowed up in the snug hot passage was nearly too much, he could barely catch his breath between his moans.  As Jiraiya was pressing down into him he gave gratified cries of ecstasy that further enflamed Ibiki's fevered need.**   
  
Jiraiya was delighted to see no indication that this was in anyway upsetting to his lover and slowly rocked his hips causing his partner to gasp and buck.  He straightened his legs slightly in a offer to place him beneath, an offer Ibiki immediately took and as he placed him on his back, he began fucking him urgently his every breath an ecstatic cry.  Jiraiya had difficulty not just giving into the pleasure and trying to remain aware of Ibiki's reactions, this wasn't about him and he could still enjoy it greatly while remaining in control.  This was not the first time by a long shot... he'd been chosen as a 'first partner' by many in his life time, both male and female... but he'd never experienced this depth of pleasure with them, this mind numbing rapture.  
  
**Jiraiya had wrapped his legs lightly around his torso, rocking into his strokes and crying out in delight. The whole thing was too much pleasure to resist and with a deep groan Ibiki sank deep cumming, drew back and felt his lover's hips shift as he bucked in again.  The incredible sensation as Jiraiya cried out and came, his muscles rippling and drawing on Ibiki's cock as he fully sated himself within the enthralling depths was the most extraordinary pleasure he ever remembered having.   He lay gasping as he tried to catch his breath and Jiraiya's arms gently cradled his body to him.  It had been amazing, every moment of it from the first touch of their lips, the anxiety he'd felt at times was expected and did not affect the wonder of it.  
  
"How could anyone give you up?"  Ibiki felt a surge of dismay, he had not meant to say that aloud!  He shifted to get off Jiraiya and his lover's hands clutched slightly not enough to hold him in anyway, more like an offer to stay, but Ibiki couldn't... this had been sex nothing more to the experienced lover.**  
  
Jiraiya was shocked when Ibiki had said that, but then felt the other man draw away in regret of his words.  It hurt but he was used to it, many people wanted to have sex with him, but did not actually care beyond that... still he couldn't help the very slight tightening of his arms at the strong desire to remain laying beside him and hold him.  As Ibiki moved away Jiraiya very softly sighed, rolled off the bed and redressed.  He could bathe at his room at the inn, he knew from experience that there was no need to prolong this.  No need to cause his lover discomfort at the awkwardness of trying to find a way of telling him not to stay, that it meant nothing it was 'only sex'.  Ibiki had not looked at him since rising off him, still once dressed he walked around the bed to stroke Ibiki's face.  "You are wonderful... find the right person... be happy."   Then turned and left.   
  
**Ibiki couldn't look at Jiraiya, he sat ridiculing himself.  Why didn't he just beg him to stay while he was at it?!  It was sex, the exceptional lover had consented to sex, the affectionate caresses and concern were simply compassion and understanding.   He was sure he wasn't the first 'difficult' lover Jiraiya had ever been with, still it had been one of the most incredible experiences he'd had in his life...**

**And the more he dwelled on it he realized it was because of the acceptance and understanding in Jiraiya's every move.  The tenderness in his eyes, he couldn't look at any of it objectively... and he also  realized, he really did not want Jiraiya to leave.  Very soon now the remarkable man would walk out the gate and there was no telling when he'd see him again.  If he was lucky in a few months, but what if this time he was able to resist the compulsion to see his lover?**  
  
Jiraiya stood under the spray of the shower, after this he needed to dress and leave. Now he had an even greater need to stay away from the Leaf Village, every time he saw Ibiki he'd feel the urge to touch him, remember his wonderful cries at every brush of his fingers... Jiraiya looked down at his now very aroused cock and sighed... he was such a fool.  
  
**By the time Ibiki was showered and dressed he knew one thing for certain, he couldn't let Jiraiya go without at least talking to him.  Although it was a bit of an abuse of his authority he sent one of his men to request the Sannin come to his office, that they needed to talk before he left.  The ANBU would think it was village business but it was far from that, very far... to his deep shame he was going to ask that Jiraiya stay, even knowing it would be best for him to go and that he loved another, he wanted him to stay.**  
  
Jiraiya was about to walk out the gate when the ANBU appeared, handed him a scroll, bowed and disappeared.   He just looked at the outside for a moment, he shouldn't even open it... if it was a stiffly worded thanks it was going to devastate him.  Jiraiya handed the unopened scroll to Kotetsu without a word and walked out.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Ibiki knew his man had delivered the scroll... Jiraiya had refused to come.  It was astounding how much it hurt.**  
  
As Jiraiya walked away his thoughts were on Ibiki... not carnal thoughts, although he greatly 'enjoyed himself'.   No, it was Ibiki's eyes he thought about, and he realized the one thing he'd hoped for every time he'd looked in them was love.  Yes, he needed to stay away from the Leaf Village, to never go back, he'd made a great enough fool of himself already.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Ibiki was unnaturally 'cold' for days before the Hokage confronted him.  "Ibiki what's wrong?  And don't say nothing because you are not leaving here until you tell me."**

**They both knew that was a 'threat' that would never work, while she was not the most pleasant company, she was nothing close to the torture he'd endured without giving up any information.**

**"It's personal." Ibiki replied bluntly.  
  
"Look Ibiki your scaring everyone... that may seem like a good thing given your job... but it's not.  The nin are afraid of you, some of which are probably your men."  Her gaze was demanding, but it would do her no good.  
  
**

**Ibiki nodded.  "Understood."  
  
She sighed and waved dismissively.  "Go... torture someone, but get in a better mood." **

**As Ibiki walked out the door he heard her call.  "That was a joke, don't torture anyone."**

**Ibiki didn't reply, she knew he wasn't going to randomly 'torture' someone, and if she didn't let her worry.  Maybe next time she'd think a bit more about what she said in jest... After that uncharacteristic sour thought Ibiki had to admit, she was right his mood did need improvement.**

 

\----------------------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya thought of Ibiki often... and a bit about Mikomi.  This only confirmed to him that he was a fool, one sexual encounter and he thought he may be falling in love with Ibiki.  Jiraiya shook his head in scorn at himself.  Wonderful... he hadn't recovered from the first and was already setting himself for the next knife through his heart.

 

\---------------------------------  
  
**Another week passed before Ibiki was willing to do something completely foolhardy, he was going to take his first leave ever, a few days off... but that wasn't the part that made him curse himself as an idiot, it was what he was going to do during his 'vacation'... he was going to find Jiraiya.  
**  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
This town no different from the last, and the one before that... although he thought of Mikomi those thoughts always drifted to the ANBU Commander, nothing could get his mind off Ibiki... not even alcohol or whores... he didn't want the whores; greedy, shallow puppets.  As for alcohol, it only took one very good hangover to remind him why that really was a bad idea... and to top it off it hadn't worked. According to the inn keep all he did was talk about how amazing 'biki' was... but they had no idea which 'beautiful maiden' he was talking about... which had started a fight among the whores and he was no longer welcome at the inn.

 

\---------------------------------------------  
  
**For Ibiki following Jiraiya's 'trail' was not hard, just ask the whores... after they gave him appalled looks and kept tossing each other in front of themselves and hunching down hoping they wouldn't be the one who would have to touch him...  
  
Then there was the bar where he was stopped at the door and told they didn't leave 'trouble makers' in... as if he could have gotten this extent of scars from fighting...   
  
The innkeepers who said they were full and could not rent him a room...  afraid that he'd scare off the other patrons.  Yes, traveling was fun, he had no idea why he didn't go on vacations more often.  Ibiki scowled, easy to track or not he wasn't going to find him before he need to return to the Leaf Village, it was time to go 'home'... never had that term felt so satiric... home, an empty house.**   
  
\---------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya frowned, there really was no interesting towns after this one and he hadn't been banned from the first town he'd went to... so back he went.  Didn't take long to get back there, essentially he simply went in a circle... which was a bit profound and extremely ironic since the purpose was to get as far away from the Leaf Village as possible.

 

Soon he was sitting in a bar just down the road from his room and not long after that the whores were gathered like jackals around him, he ignored them until something they said caught his attention.

 

"... at least none of us had to sleep with the scarred freak, 'ought charge him extra just to touch him!"

 

The harlot's voice was shrill and grating which only accented how cruel her reply was. "Not even then... never seen so many scars in my life... had to be something wrong with him."    
  
Jiraiya felt a chill they couldn't be talking about Ibiki... what if the scroll really did have important information.  Jiraiya cursed and waved the 'charming one' over that called the 'scarred man' a freak... "What did this man look like?"   
  
"Hideous..."  She gave an exaggerated shudder.  "Like a monster!"   
  
Jiraiya was not in a good mood and it was slipping downhill fast.  "What did he **look** like?"  
  
"Don' know... black thing on his head... big, really big like you, but not handsome like you..." She cooed.

 

Jiraiya sighed trying not to give in to shaking her.  "Any symbols?"

 

One of the other girls walked up, eager to gain favor with him she answered, "Think I saw a kind of feather or leaf shaped symbol."

 

Jiraiya swore and leapt up sending the whores scattering, but nothing mattered but getting back to the Leaf Village.  
  
\-----------------------------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya felt ashamed, but under his concern about the Leaf Village, he was glad for the reason to return.  No matter what it was, he was glad for the excuse to see Ibiki... when he came back.  His thoughts returned to what the whores had said, how they'd been repulsed.  They didn't know what hideous was, they needed to look in their own spiteful cruel hearts to see true monsters.   
  
**Ibiki simply headed straight for the Leaf Village, it wasn't like he could stay in the inns on the way back... even the few that had rented him a room did so because they were intimidated and were so eager to get him out of there that they'd woke him long before dawn.  Even if he didn't show it, and expected it, being considered a deformed freak did hurt.**  
  
Jiraiya stopped even though he was nearly there he was tired, he'd pushed himself hard.  This far away from any village the last thing he expected to see was another traveler, but he welcomed company.  Anything to keep his mind off Ibiki.... although Mikomi still brought waves of sorrow, it was Ibiki who truly haunted him.  The memory of holding him, feeling the solid weight of his body on top of him, hearing his cries... but most of all his eyes, the moments of affection when the dark eyes took on a warmth.   
  
**Ibiki approached the fire cautiously, but cautious or not he was still a good distance away when he heard the man call out.  "Come share the fire, I even have an extra rabbit nearly ready."**

**Ibiki's heart hammered, after all this chasing here he was and he had no idea what to say to him.  Ibiki walked up and as the firelight revealed his face he could swear he saw longing in Jiraiya's eyes, but it was gone instantly replaced with worry.  "Did something happen at the Leaf Village?"  
  
"No."  Ibiki replied.**

**Jiraiya looked relieved, then confused.  "I guess I was wrong... I thought you were looking for me."  He looked into the fire and after a moment prodded the rabbits.  
  
"I was."  Ibiki lacked the words to explain so he remained quiet after that admission.  
**  
Jiraiya heard the hesitation in Ibiki's tone whatever it was he wasn't ready to talk yet.  He pulled the cooked rabbits off the hot stones, put one on a plate and handed it to him, giving the uncomfortable man an excuse to wait until he was ready to talk.  Then served himself grateful for the distraction... although it was not very effective, he had no interest in food, what he craved was Ibiki's touch.  
  
**Watching Jiraiya Ibiki knew what he [i]wished[/i] to say, but not what to actually say, and although he'd never thought himself a very 'lustful' man, the Sannin aroused him and watching his hands... his lips... well, everything, distracted him and made it even more difficult to find the words. How do you tell someone that you had no pride, no self respect... how do you tell them that even if they love another you want them to... be with you.**

**Then everything became all too clear... what he was doing was the same unhealthy thing Jiraiya was with the one he loved.  Only they'd had a relationship and all he'd had with Jiraiya was a 'sexual romp'... obsessing over him, chasing after him even knowing he loved another.**  
  
Ibiki hadn't ate he sat in complete silence watching him, then set down the plate got up and started back into the trees toward the Leaf Village.  Jiraiya leapt up and caught his arm, then immediately released it and looked embarrassed.  "Sorry... I just, could you stay and talk to me... or since you don't speak much and I do constantly," He gave a very self-mocking smile. "Stay and listen."  
  
After a moment Ibiki nodded and they returned to the fire, Jiraiya had dropped his plate to go catch him and Ibiki offered his rabbit.  Jiraiya shook his head. "I will not take your food away."  

 

Ibiki chopped the rabbit in half and pulled out ration bars.  Jiraiya looked at the ration bar solemnly, he was uneasy, he suspected he already knew the answer and yet he asked,  "You have been eating ration bars this whole trip?"  
  
Jiraiya was appalled by Ibiki's wooden. "Yes."   
  
His eyes slipped over to Ibiki's pack.  "And sleeping outside."   
  
Ibiki still remained toneless as he corrected, "No, I was rented a room twice."  
  
Jiraiya looked away his expression mournful.  "They're fools, heartless..."  
  
Ibiki shook his head dismissively.  "I'm pretty used to it."  
  
Jiraiya's eyes met his.  "You shouldn't be... you should be honored and respected.  You are extraordinary for so many reasons, you survived what few people could, and refused to betray your village... you are truly the bravest man I've ever known."  
  
**Ibiki nearly laughed at the irony of that comment, bravest man he'd ever known... and yet Ibiki lacked the courage to tell him he needed him.   That he was possibly falling in love with him, he couldn't even tell him that he wanted so badly to kiss him right now that he was nearly shaking.**  
  
When Ibiki suddenly stood, Jiraiya nearly leapt up to stop him again, but he didn't start into the trees he drew Jiraiya up and kissed him.  His soft gasp was immediately followed by a moan as Ibiki deepened the kiss.  Jiraiya knew he shouldn't, that he was only setting himself up for a even harder fall, but he still wanted this.  He wanted to feel Ibiki so much he couldn't draw away.  
  
Ibiki broke the kiss to tease the sensitive flesh of Jiraiya's throat his hands caressing his chest, stripping Jiraiya's shirt and molding his firm body to his lover's.  Jiraiya  groaned in delight his hands moved gently over Ibiki's upper back and he shift his hips to avoid pressing his needy flesh against him.   
  
**Even in the throes of passion the skilled lover remembered and was careful with him, Ibiki's desire for him steadily grew.  He removed his own shirt, then resumed brushing his fingers over Jiraiya's chest  feeling his breath hitch and hearing as he moaned in pleasure.  Ibiki's hand slipped down to stroke over the taut muscles of Jiraiya's stomach as he teased his throat.  Jiraiya panted out little cries of delight, Ibiki could feel his lover's powerful thigh muscles jumping as he held himself back from thrusting against him, with every action of restraint Ibiki's desire for him grew and his trust of him.  He drew one of Jiraiya's hands down to his cock and the delft fingers easily freed it, stroking it and his thumb circling the flushed head until Ibiki was groaning and thrusting rapturously.**   
  
Jiraiya kissed him passionately as he freed his erection and cupped Ibiki's cock against his, breaking the kiss to watch his lover's face for any sign this was distressing and finding only excitement he took Ibiki's hand and placed it opposite from his so they enclosed their cocks in a wonderful circle of flesh Jiraiya slowly rocked his hips the exquisite pleasure grew as they began fucking the grasp of their hands and feeling the slip of their arousals against each other.   
  
**Ibiki panted and cried out breathlessly, the pleasure leaving him almost whimpering the feeling was so amazing.  When Jiraiya's thumb resumed brushing over the heads with every thrust, Ibiki was rapidly drawn to climax the two men moaning as their cocks jumped against the others their release coating the sated flesh.  
**  
Jiraiya released their satisfied lengths, he was glad the feel of their cocks together brought no discomfort, he hadn't thought it would be similar to anything his abusers had done.  Since he was not thrusting against or pressed to his body Ibiki had not felt threatened by it.  His fingers returned to softly massaging Ibiki's back. He want so greatly to continue to hold him, but they'd had sex, now Ibiki would draw away.  
  
**Ibiki rested his forehead against Jiraiya shoulder for a moment to catch his breath and was shocked as he felt his lover gently cradle him to his body and place a kiss on the back of his neck.  He lifted his head looking in Jiraiya's eyes they were understanding, they were vulnerable and they held a feeling Ibiki knew well, the expectation of rejection.  Jiraiya expected to be pushed away, and accepted it.  Ibiki cupped his head kissing him as tenderly as the wonderful man did to him.**  
  
Jiraiya felt Ibiki's lips lightly upon his, his tongue teased and tempted bringing Ibiki to the entrance and drawing him inside.  He didn't want to go too far and lose this moment, he would have drew back breaking the kiss if Ibiki hadn't been holding his head cupped and gently denying his retreat. Jiraiya continued softly brushing, teasing and tempting the other until the kiss was passionate.   
  
**Ibiki could feel the flex of Jiraiya's muscles the promise that he would draw back at any sign that Ibiki was uncertain. When he broke the kiss Jiraiya's touch lightened further allowing and accepting if he wished to draw back. This man was incredible... and this time he said it Ibiki did not regret it, it was the truth. "How could anyone give you up?"**  
  
Ibiki didn't draw away and Jiraiya gratefully held him.  So many had 'given him up' and Ibiki would too but while he was willing to allow it he wished to stay, yes he was a fool... Time and time again he promised himself he wouldn't hope for more but he knew he'd break that promise just as he had his pledge not to have another lover.  He could already feel the hope hiding in the corners of his mind and no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't banish it.  
  
**Ibiki wasn't sure he could say it even now, he knew he shouldn't... but now he had a much greater understanding of Jiraiya's being unable to resist returning to watch the man he loved.  He knew what he was doing with Jiraiya was just as wrong as Jiraiya's obsession with Mikomi, but he desperately wanted to see Jiraiya's understanding eyes, to feel the pleasure of his touch and the tenderness with which he held him.  "Jiraiya..."**  
  
"Ibiki, I want to return to the village, I don't think I can stay away."  Jiraiya was a afraid he'd see the dark eyes that were full of emotion suddenly turn cold again... he knew they would but he held a slim hope that even if they'd never hold love for him, at least affection would remain.

 

**Ibiki nodded.  Now that he was stuck in the same situation... chasing after a man who didn't love him, he couldn't say anything against it.  He wanted Jiraiya there, even if it was to watch him, just as Jiraiya watched Mikomi.**

 

"Can you sleep beside me?" Jiraiya asked softly, his gentle arms still draped around him.  Ibiki shook his head, his eyes now reserved once more.  Jiraiya tried not to be hurt by the loss, the reminder that Ibiki did not actually care about him and simply nodded, "I suppose we should clean up... there a stream very near and I've gathered sufficient water, we can use it and I will get more in the morning."  

 

**Right now Ibiki cursed his inability to speak freely, his last bits of pride that prevented him from telling the compassionate man why he could not sleep beside him... he was afraid he'd hurt Jiraiya, react to the feel of being 'touched' and lash out before realizing it was him, it just wasn't safe.  
**  
Jiraiya dropped the loose drape of his arms from around Ibiki so he could move away.  Ibiki would accept him for sex but nothing more... and Jiraiya was desperate enough that he would take whatever he could get.   
  
\-----------------------  
  
After washing they went to sleep, Ibiki had his bedroll on the opposite side of the fire making his point clear, he would not tolerate more than sex.  Jiraiya didn't sleep, his head full of memories of all the ones he'd loved.  He could still remember everyone of the heartbreaks... Mikomi still hurt, possibly always would but he was definitely on his way to a greater heart break when Ibiki no longer wanted him.  He'd never become so enthralled by anyone so quickly, Ibiki's rejection was going to be a horrible agony and yet there was no way he could resist.  He really was falling in love and it was so much deeper this time, it was terrifying how strong he felt about him already.  
  
**Ibiki lay resting, he was unable to sleep knowing Jiraiya was so close.  He lay thinking about the affection in his eyes, this limited 'love' was more than he'd ever expected he'd receive and still he wanted more.  He needed to be satisfied with what he now had, although Jiraiya didn't love him he had to care...  Didn't he?  Yes, of course he had to care... he was an insecure fool, not a revelation about himself that he was thrilled to discover.**

**  
\--------------------------------  
  
****Traveling back to Leaf was a quiet event, they didn't really stop for longer than a few minutes before pressing on and soon they were walking in the gate.  Jiraiya smiled, but it was only his face, his eyes held only pain.  "I should go I'm sure I can rent my usual room."  Ibiki nodded and turned towards his house, walking away but wishing there was a reason to ask for Jiraiya to stay with him for a bit longer... he knew he could get him to come with if he offered sex but he just couldn't sell himself like that... at least not yet, not while some small sliver of self respect still existed within him.  
**  
Jiraiya watched Ibiki simply turn and walk away, Ibiki hadn't said a word to him since the night before... even then he'd said very few.  It hurt to be just like a whore selling the only thing he had, but not for money, for a small taste of the fantasy of being loved... but this was the best he could hope for.  He had no idea how long it would be until he reached his 'expiration date' and Ibiki cast him aside as well... valueless.  
  
Once in his usual room he sat on the bed, full of self recriminations.  What was he doing here?  Hadn't he done this to himself long enough?  When his old friend saw him she'd shake her head and chastise him, but Tsunade understood... for years she'd watched and saw Jiraiya left by lover after lover, her chastisements were only empty words now, nothing more.  
  
\--------------------------------------------  
  
**Ibiki read every report that came in first scanning to see if Jiraiya's name was on any, the first 72 hours he hadn't even left his room.  It was very clear he was taking his return to the Leaf pretty badly and it would likely only get worse once he started stalking his ex-lover once more.  
**  
Jiraiya finally decided he'd 'pouted' long enough and it was time to at least go visit his old friend, he knew she'd slip out and go sit and drink sake with him.  Which probably wasn't the best idea on an empty stomach... guess they'd hit a restaurant, he could eat and she could get a start at getting staggering drunk.  He didn't blame her, they all had their ways to try to handle the losses and she could hardly stalk Dan or her brother... so she drank.

 

They reminisced but the memories brought no laughter or joy... not knowing that Orochimaru's 'quirks' were a serious sign something was horribly wrong and they'd totally missed them allowing him to become the monster he was at the end.  
  
The two friends had done this too many times to count, but this time Tsunade asked a question that Jiraiya had difficulty answering.  "Why Mikomi Jiraiya... why do you keep returning for him?  You know you don't have a 'real' love, it takes two people to be in love... otherwise it's just obsession."  

 

Her words were harsh, and often hurt, but they were always true and were said in compassion and not scorn.  Her words of wisdom were hard earned, she had loved Orochimaru all the way up to the day he was found performing his grotesque experiments on his peers and companions and had to flee... she'd been deeply in 'love' with him, but never once did he truly love her.  
  
Now Jiraiya was faced with not answering or lying, he would not betray Ibiki's privacy, he settled on a half truth. "You are right I think I'm ready to leave that dream behind."   
  
"Then why have you returned?"  Her gaze was uneasy, like she dreaded the answer would be one she would not like.  
  
"Perhaps I missed your charming company." Jiraiya teased.

 

Tsunade snorted and taunted, "Try another one, that is..."

 

Jiraiya cut her off before she could use one of her more shocking curses in a restaurant of the village where she was supposed to be a respected figure. "Your right, it's other... business."   
  
Tsunade looked at him seriously, she knew him and his evasions didn't work with her. "Who Jiraiya?"  He gave a forced smile he may as well not bothered to give, she saw right through it.  "Damn he's already breaking your heart... works fast."

 

She covered his hand and stated in a very somber and concerned tone.  "Jiraiya... you're lonely, you give them your heart and these people use you then toss you aside.  Don't let them do that to you, you are a wonderful person, you deserve real love."  
  
Jiraiya sighed.  "If it was only that easy."

 

Tsunade poured herself and Jiraiya another cup of sake.  All of this was things she had said before and would say again many more times in his life, after each one walked away.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Ibiki waited, every report he expected to find that Jiraiya had returned to watching Mikomi.  It was wearing on his nerves, the waiting, the knowledge that one of the reports would say it eventually... and he was right.  When he picked up the evening report his heart fell... Jiraiya was watching him once more.  
**  
Jiraiya sat watching Mikomi, he had a new lover, the last had only been around a few months.  He wasn't watching him because he felt deep love or even longing for him.  He would always love him just like all the others but now he watched because it provided a diversion from sitting in his room waiting and hoping Ibiki would wish to see him.  It had been a week now since they returned and he hadn't seen him once, after watching his former lover for most of the day.  Seeing the tender loving touches and kisses the two men gave one another.   Jiraiya was ready to play the harlot and go to Ibiki... to his shame he would try to 'interest' him so he could hold him and touch him once more.  
  
**When Jiraiya showed up at his house after spending the day watching his lover Ibiki knew why, his lover's antics had aroused him... he was not proven wrong.  Jiraiya's smiles and teases had worked, Ibiki could not deny the longing he felt for Jiraiya's touch, at this moment it did not matter that he was just a replacement.  Ibiki kissed Jiraiya passionately, as before his partner was careful not to press into him or become too intense.  Ibiki marveled a new at every gasp and moan he brought from the experienced man's lips, every light silky feather of Jiraiya's fingers.  He felt no reservation at removing his clothes and Jiraiya's body tempted him more than ever.**   
  
Ibiki was learning to trust him, Jiraiya felt such love in his heart for the brave man that was giving him the great gift of his trust after so many horrible things had been done to him.  Caressing the ravaged skin of his lover's back he wanted so badly to give him everything he wanted, to fill his every desire.  Ibiki's erection tempted him, the memory of glorious sounds his lover would make as his swollen flesh was embraced and teased by his mouth, he looked down at Ibiki's tempting arousal then met his eyes. "Can I touch you?"   
  
**Ibiki nodded, his heart drumming in excitement at the memory of Jiraiya's mouth covering his erection, and when Jiraiya slipped down to his knees and took his cock in his mouth Ibiki cried out at the rapture.  Jiraiya's heavenly mouth slipped down to the base and he howled in nearly unbearable ecstasy at the feel of his cock sinking into Jiraiya's mouth, his tongue cupping and stroking along the underside of the shaft.  Ibiki panted and gave a soft needy groan, Jiraiya's hands rested lightly on his hip for a moment and with little encouragement Ibiki fucked his mouth, his muscles quivering at the extreme pleasure.  
**  
Jiraiya loved every cry of passion he could bring from his lover, he moaned around his cock and Ibiki cried out in rapture bucking into the tease and panting,  then moaning ecstatically as his cock sank into Jiraiya's throat and he came.  Jiraiya released his satisfied length and watched his lover's face as he flicked his tongue over the sensitive scar tissue from his pelvis to his chest while he rose.  Ibiki was groaning, his muscles flexing at the tease and Jiraiya had to restrain himself from caressing the rippling muscles of his stomach.  His hands rested on Ibiki's back once more as his tongue slid slowly up the lines of scar tissue of his chest, tracing them up to his throat and begged softly.  "Ibiki... I want to touch you.  I want to feel your exquisite body under my hands." Jiraiya placed his hand palm up in Ibiki's.  
  
**Ibiki swore this man amazed him more every time... he guided his partner's hand over his chest and shoulders down his ribs, and as he slipped over to his hip he felt Jiraiya's hand gently resist, his eyes worried. "Please don't do something that distresses you."**

**Ibiki cupped his face kissing him passionately, Jiraiya's concern erased barriers and Ibiki felt no distress as he slid his partner's hand down over his pelvis.  Jiraiya's hand hesitated when he ran it over his hip, then relaxed a bit, but Ibiki felt his lover's muscles flex and knew he would draw his hand back rather than allow him to do anything that maybe distressing.  Ibiki knew without a single doubt at that moment, he loved Jiraiya, he trusted him and he could picture one day being free of many of his 'restrictions' with this man as his lover.  
**  
Ibiki released his hand and Jiraiya started to lift it away, Ibiki took it and once more used it to caress his body.  Jiraiya kissed him lovingly as their hands slid lightly over his scarred stomach and pelvis carefully over the front of his hips, then drew he his hand away lifting it to rest below Ibiki's shoulder blades and stroke his back.  
  
**Ibiki moaned, his cock throbbing with need once more, he drew Jiraiya into the bedroom. This time as Jiraiya lay on top of him he was aware of what he was doing while they kissed and once more thanked the heaven's for such a understanding and caring lover.  He had been concerned about causing him distress so kept him busy with his amazing mouth while he prepared himself!  Ibiki's hands caressed over the round of his ass, Jiraiya gasped then groaned loudly in delight. "Ibiki... you feel so incredible." The low husky tone amplified the temptation of Jiraiya's fantastic body.**  
  
Jiraiya slipped his fingers out, he wanted to feel Ibiki's body pressed to his.  He desired him so greatly that remaining focused on not doing anything that could be upsetting was a struggle, but one he was determined to succeed at, he would never do anything to hurt this extraordinary man.  
  
**Ibiki was teased so hard he needed him urgently, Jiraiya looked him in the eyes kissed him tenderly and straightened out his legs.  Ibiki rolled to place him beneath him and Jiraiya loosely wrapped his legs around his waist gently encouraging him.**   
  
Jiraiya arched and moaned rapturously as his Koishii thrust into him, the feel of his powerful body moving on top of his was nirvana. He trembled hard at the desire to buck down into the thrusts and rocked his hips, into Ibiki's movements without demand, welcoming his cock into his body and crying out in pleasure.  
  
**Every thrust into his exceptional lover was met with joyful cries, his body enclosing him in the extraordinary grasp like he craved _him_ , wanted him... desired only him.  Affection and acceptance in every move of his body, it was a lie but it was one Ibiki embraced, wishing to feel the gentle cling of his arms and believe he _needed_ him.  Ibiki placed passionate kisses over his throat as his hips rocked into his lover, his responsive partner was moaning ecstatically at the feel of him.  
  
Jiraiya begged between cries, "Please can touch you?" **

**Ibiki suckled on his pulse point and felt the sensual man arch into him wantonly, begging for his touch... his kisses... such a beautiful lie. "Yes."**  
  
Jiraiya caressed him passionately eagerly memorizing every inch he was allowed, never going below the waist. "You feel so good..."   
  
**Ibiki groaned at the tender caresses his thrusts growing faster until all he could do was cry out in delight at every stroke and unable to deny his body's desires any longer his next firm thrust hit that wonderful place inside his lover's body and his partner howled in pleasure trembling and his muscles rippling around his cock, he moaned deeply as he buried his flesh within Jiraiya and gave into the rapture of his orgasm.**  
  
As Ibiki lay a top him their bodies still intimately connected Jiraiya dreamed of being free to hold him, to touch him and know his cries of pleasure were because it was **his ** touch... but this would be over very soon and Ibiki would withdraw emotionally just as he would physically, and it would be time for him to go.

 

All too soon Ibiki rose off him, his face reserved once more.  Jiraiya tried to hide how hurt he was behind a smile... but it didn't matter because Ibiki wouldn't look at him, just as before he'd turned away.  Jiraiya rose, he'd served his purpose it was time to go.  He quietly dressed and then hesitated looking at Ibiki, fighting his urge to beg to just be allowed to hold him.  Knowing that may cause him to lose even this small bit of his lover's affection he tried to force some levity into his tone.  "Perhaps we could see each other again... soon."  When Ibiki didn't look at him or reply, Jiraiya turned and quietly left.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya was walking through the market deep in thought, about Ibiki of course, it was all he could think of... trying to find a way to convince the man he loved to love _him_...   
  
"Jiraiya!"  
  
The Sannin looked up at the familiar voice, "Mikomi."  
  
"You came back, I can't believe it... you have no idea how I've missed you!  I wish I'd never left you."   Mikomi's beautiful eyes looked up at him with love and worship.

 

The sight made a bitter sadness rise up in Jiraiya.  Months of sorrow and visit after visit watching him, he'd dreamed of this, of Mikomi saying he wanted him back... that it all was a horrible mistake, and now that he was hearing those words it was already too late.  Now he was a different man's fool.   
  
Jiraiya stopped his former lover.  "Mikomi, I did not come back for you, I'm sorry Tenshi.  I wish I could be that person for you again, but I can't.  I'm deeply in love with someone, a strong deep love that is so much more than passion and pleasure... someone I wish to remain beside until the day I die.  What we had was a beautiful dream, a fantasy that could never come true.  I'm sorry."   
  
Jiraiya turned and hurried away, not because of anything his former lover could say or do, because after he said what was in his heart to Mikomi he could no longer deny his feelings to himself and the pain of that knowledge left him wanting to weep.  What he wanted could never be... Ibiki would never love him.  
  
\---------------------------------------  
  
**Now extremely conflicted by what he'd done, Ibiki had returned to work hoping to distract himself with reports, it turned out the evening patrol's report was not a distraction only further distress.  Ibiki studied the report emotionlessly, but inside he was angry and hurt... afraid and ashamed.**

**After Jiraiya had left from fucking him he'd been seen talking with Mikomi, the young man had left his current lover.  He had no doubt the fickle nin wanted Jiraiya back, the reports painted the picture very clearly.  Jiraiya would no longer have a need for him... the knowledge that he'd fallen in love so rapidly, so powerfully with the legendary Sannin was sad and sick. Was he so desperate for love that he'd cling to the first person to touch him with affection... no more than cling, fall in love... the answer was obviously yes.  
  
Ibiki felt only self disgust now, how had he sunk so low as to be grateful to just be someone's sexual release, a replacement for the man Jiraiya truly wanted to be touching.  He couldn't do this anymore, even if Jiraiya was willing to continue fucking him.  It was a choice between celibacy and complete loss of self respect and he'd already lost most of that... no, who was he kidding, he'd lost  all of that.  **

**He could not be Jiraiya's 'next best thing', no matter how greatly he desired to see his eyes filled with affection for him.  It was over either way.  
**  
Jiraiya sat on the side of his bed with his face in his palms.  Koishii, in his thoughts Ibiki had already become his beloved, the only one he wanted to be with... A man who only wanted him for sex and would never love him.

 

Jiraiya was sick with shame.  Tsunade was right about one thing, he could not do this again, he could not bear the pain any more.  He should have stayed with his vow not to take another lover, it should have ended with Mikomi.

 

This time it would be he who walked away, he was a coward he couldn't even look Ibiki in the eyes and tell him he was leaving, if he had to look at him his resolve would melt away and he'd never be able to go.

  
Jiraiya packed the few items that were essential, paid his bill with the tavern owner and walked out the front gate.  Once more he was leaving, but this time he truly wouldn't be coming back.  It was time to see some of the other countries much further away.  He headed toward the ports on the far side of the Land of Fire.  
  
\------------------------------  
**END PT 2**


	3. BETTER THAN ANGELS (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL 3)

**BETTER THAN ANGELS (JIRAIYA'S ANGEL 3)**  
  
\------------------------------------  
  
**In spite of his resolve he found himself scanning the reports for Jiraiya's name, even knowing very well how much it would hurt to read about their exploits.  But by the 3rd day of not seeing anything about them together, and also no report of Jiraiya at all, he started to get a very bad feeling.**

**Jiraiya wouldn't have left, Mikomi had come back to him, but something did not feel right about it.  Mikomi had been seen many times since the day he and Jiraiya reunited, but Jiraiya had not.  It was time to do some investigation into the Sannin going missing... no, not his lover but a valued member of the Leaf Village.  This was business... even he couldn't buy that lie.  He had to know where Jiraiya was.  
  
It wasn't hard to find the young man, Mikomi was flirting with another nin in the middle of the market square.  Ibiki walked up to them, the other nin blanched made a hasty excuse and bolted.  Mikomi however reacted like he was in a teen horror flick, hesitantly looking over his shoulder at the monster and freezing, his face pale and eyes wide.  "Yes?" He squeaked. "Did I do something wrong?" **

**Ibiki was annoyed by the boy's behavior... and he had to admit feeling a bit hostile looking in the face of the young man who held Jiraiya's heart.  "Where's Jiraiya?"  
  
Mikomi shook his head vehemently.  "I don't know I swear!"  The youth looked like he was about to wet his pants, Ibiki sighed softly and tried a bit gentler approach.  "I'm not going to hurt you, he was last seen with you and now he's gone."  Although his tone was patient and calm, Ibiki's eyes were fiery as he looked into the terrified gaze of the small Shinobi.  Well it was  supposed to be a gentler approach, but he was feeling a bit more hostile than he'd admitted to himself.  
  
"I...I don't know... I saw him yes, but I don't know where he went when he walked away."  The small Shinobi cowered and if he thought he could have escaped he'd have probably run, but nowhere he could run would not end up with him face to face with the ANBU Commander once more.   
  
"You and he are in a relationship."  Ibiki stated bluntly.  "You would know where he is."  
  
Mikomi looked confused.  "No, that was over a year ago."  
  
"So you and he didn't... renew your relationship?"  Ibiki's demeanor remained impartial, almost indifferent, but inside his heart was hammering rapidly.  
  
Mikomi looked at him strangely.  "Jiraiya refused, he said he was deeply in love with someone else.  Something about it being 'more than passion and pleasure'... and it was someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with."  
  
"Hmm."  Ibiki grunted, and prompted impassively.  "Anything else?"  
  
Mikomi shook his head.  "No, he left quickly after that... he looked sad."   
  
Ibiki studied the boy a moment more, then turned and walked back to the ANBU building and into his office.  When he drew out the Gate Entry/Exit log, his heart fell... he hadn't even looked at the Gate log, he 'known' Jiraiya was in the village and with his former boyfriend.  There was Jiraiya's name, he'd left... the same day as he'd talked with Mikomi... the same day as the last time they'd had sex... _'more than passion and pleasure'_.**

**His assumption that they'd renewed their relationship now seemed more like a jealous thought than logical behavior.  Sitting there in the complete silence Ibiki remembered how quiet it had seemed every time Jiraiya left, how empty he'd felt when he didn't see him.  
  
How could he ever have believed that Jiraiya didn't really care when all he ever wanted was to bring him pleasure?  When he resisted anything that may be disturbing to him and insisted it was important to tell him if anything was upsetting.  The wonderful man had only treated him with love and respect... Love.  Jiraiya really did love him, and he'd pushed him away time after time.  Turned his back on him after sex... dismissed him like he was an object to be used and cast aside.  The gentle understanding man had just accepted it.**

**How could he so completely missed the signs?  The only answer he had was that he wasn't looking.  Jiraiya was offering something he never expected to get... his heart.  He couldn't think of a single moment the tender gaze hadn't shown concern for him and he'd thrown it away... "No."**

**Ibiki rose, he needed to see the Hokage.  If she denied his request he didn't know what he'd do, but he'd deal with that if it happened.  He had to get Jiraiya back.  
  
Walking into the Hokage's office Ibiki stiffly stated, "I realize I just came back from a leave, but it's extremely important I take another."  
  
Tsunade's wise eyes studied his impassive face.  "Do you love him?"  
  
It didn't surprise him that Lady Tsunade knew.  Last time Jiraiya left Ibiki went after him and they came back together, now Jiraiya was gone and Ibiki wanted leave again.  Ibiki was done hesitating.  "Yes."  
  
Tsunade nodded.  "Granted.  Take as long as you need, but bring him back here..."  Then she added, as he turned to walk out.  "And Ibiki, don't ever let him go."  
  
Ibiki replied, "I don't intend to." and walked out.  
**  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya sighed, what he'd done was wrong, he should never have left him without explaining why he had to go.  He'd vowed he'd never hurt him and broken yet another vow... guess he wasn't very good at keeping his word.   
  
He could smell the faint smell of the sea in the air, soon he'd be there.  He didn't know where he'd go, he'd decide based on what ship was leaving soonest.  It didn't matter where he went, everywhere would be the same hell, his thoughts and dreams full of a man he would never see again.  He'd thought he'd loved all those before, but the feelings he'd had for them were faint wisps compared to the vast cloud of despair he felt now. _  
  
_ Ibiki was a exceptional man, he hoped he found someone to love and was happy. _  
  
\--------------------  
  
_ Jiraiya was dismayed when he arrived at the port to find all the ships had sailed to the far port to avoid a terrible storm that was due to hit soon.  He desperately wanted to get on a boat, to leave before he lost his will and crawled back to Ibiki.  The whole trip he'd fought the urge, the little voice that told him to take what he was offered, to be grateful for what he had... that it was the best he could ever expect to get.   
  
His plan temporarily thwarted, he checked into a room over the tavern, just as predicted the storm was starting as evening fell.  Jiraiya sat in the window watching the trees lash and small objects be sent rolling down the street.  The ships had been right to leave, to be caught at sea in that would be a guaranteed death, and any secured in port would be torn apart by the strong winds.   
  
Even knowing they were right to leave he still regretted not having found someone to get him off the continent and on his way.  It was far too depressing to sit in his room alone with his thoughts and, although he did not want company of any kind, he couldn't pass up the chance to have others around.  Hopefully a distraction to ease his misery.  Jiraiya rose and walked down the stairs to the tavern, took a seat and ordered a sake.  Alone and brooding in the far corner, he went without being noticed by the whores for some time, but eventually his luck such as it was ran out.

He nearly cringed at the nasal twang of the first 'jackal', he knew many more were to come. "Hey handsome, looking for some company?"   
  
"No." Jiraiya answered bluntly.  
  
"Aw, come on, don't be like that..." she purred. As soon as the other whores spotted her beside Jiraiya they descended, surrounding him like vultures at a fresh kill. Jiraiya sighed and spoke firm and loud over the chaos as they jostled for a position close to him. "Enough! I do not want company!"   
  
"Honey, I wouldn't charge you." The first teased, unwilling to give up her 'prize', no doubt intending on offering 'further services' for money as soon as she got him to a room.  
  
Jiraiya was going to turn and angrily to tell her he wouldn't touch her even if she was paying him, but someone else responded before he turned around. A very familiar gruff voice.  "He's mine."

 

Jiraiya flinched, as the whores scattered, then sighed deeply as he turned around and forced a smile to his lips. "Hey, you're pretty far out of Leaf Ibiki... so..." Jiraiya couldn't pull it off there was nothing light hearted about this situation. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving, I just... it was too hard being there."   
  
Ibiki sat at the bar beside him, it was then that Jiraiya noticed what Ibiki was pretending he didn't... the people staring at Ibiki and whispering to each other.  Jiraiya looked down the bar even the bartender was huddled at the other side gossiping.  Jiraiya stood, looking every bit the fiery Sannin, he glared around at everyone.  Cupped Ibiki's face tenderly and kissed him, then resumed his fierce glare. "If I hear so much as another whisper about my Koishii I swear you'll think the storm outside is a simple spring shower after what I'll do to this place."   
  
The only words now were whispers of 'Legendary Sannin' and 'Toad Sage' after a few seconds even they quieted and the place was in complete silence.  Jiraiya sat and after a few minutes the normal level of chaotic noise resumed, now any glances their way were nervous glances at Jiraiya and very few dared even that.  
  
**Ibiki was stunned that Jiraiya had reacted so protectively, but now that he thought about it everything he'd ever done was an expression of how deeply he cared.  He could see Jiraiya was still upset even if he now seemed calm.  "Jiraiya..."**  
  
"Don't... please. Don't say it..."  The last thing he wanted to hear right now was Ibiki explaining he had no idea Jiraiya felt like that and that he didn't feel the same way... He'd heard those words too many times.  "Ibiki... why did you come?"   
  
**Jiraiya's voice held a soft plea, the 'powerful Sannin' had about reached the end of what he could bear, what any man could bear.  The plea was not to be hurt anymore, it was something Ibiki fully planned on answering... but not here.  This was private and he didn't want to share it with anyone. "Can we go upstairs?"**

**Jiraiya nodded and stood, leading the way back to his room.  He looked so broken; Ibiki knew it couldn't wait, he reached out and took Jiraiya's hand stopping him from walking away.  "Look at me... please.  You asked why I came... it's the same reason I came last time and will come every time.  I wasn't able to tell you then, but I will now."  Ibiki stroked his face tenderly.  "I love you."  
  
Jiraiya looked stunned, then glanced around at the people all around, embraced him and urged. "Let's go upstairs."**

**Ibiki nodded.  Although it did not seem like he was disturbed by the show of emotion he'd made, it had left him off balance, but he still did not regret it.  
  
As soon as they were out of view of the bar patrons, Jiraiya turned, gathering Ibiki to him and kissing him lovingly.  He caressed Ibiki's cheek and the way he looked at him was so adoring.  "You did that, said that in public... for me.  You let your guard down and showed emotion... for me."  Jiraiya's voice was husky with emotion.  "That was a beautiful gift, a moment I'll treasure.  I have never been happier than I am right now."   
  
Ibiki gave a rare smile and promised.  "Every day from now on I plan on trying to may you happier than the day before." **

**Jiraiya laughed fondly.  "If I'm with you I will always be happier than the day before...  Now come up stairs, the things I wish to do are not something I'll share, my wonderful Koishii."  
**  
Once in his room Jiraiya turned to look at Ibiki, this was like a wonderful dream and long after Ibiki had tired of him and he'd been left behind he would treasure the moment he swore he loved him.  The thought brought a small brush of sadness at the certain knowledge that this too would end, but he would eventually accept it and he would continue... just as he had so many times before.  Ibiki drew him close and Jiraiya welcomed his passionate kiss eagerly, pushing away his fears of the future and grateful for the fact that for now Ibiki wanted him.  
  
Ibiki stripped and Jiraiya groaned at the sight of him.  "You are so sexy."

 

Ibiki didn't look exactly disbelieving, but then he did not look like he believed it either.  Jiraiya softly pleaded, "Please, I need to touch you and feel your hard body molded to mine."

 

Ibiki's eyes held deep desire and stripping Jiraiya's shirt he placed suckling kisses urgently over his throat.  Jiraiya unfastened his pants and stepped free of them, soon their bare bodies were pressed to each other.  Jiraiya shifted his hips so he would not be pressing his rigid flesh against Ibiki, but Ibiki cupped his hips bringing them to meet his so they stood with their hard cocks pressed between them.

 

 Jiraiya studied Ibiki's face, he didn't want his beloved to ever do something he was not sure about.  Ibiki's eyes held no reservation, a bit of anxiety, but he looked sure it was what he wanted and Jiraiya gave in to the pleasure of feeling the hard muscular body pressed to him.  It was amazing and he shivered in delight as Ibiki passionately kissed him.

  
**Ibiki wanted to caress every inch of the seductive man before him, a wonderful thought although not possible.  It stunned him that Jiraiya thought he was sexy, but his tone and the way his eyes roamed over his body left no doubt that Jiraiya truly did think he was sexy.**

**His lover's tender affection amazed him, as he had every time they'd embraced before, Jiraiya had shifted his hips so he wouldn't be pressing firmly against him.  When Ibiki drew them straight, feeling the hard length pressed between them, it did not bring the rush of fear it once did.  Only a strong flash of uneasiness, but that was worth the feel of his lover's whole body embracing his and the concern in Jiraiya's gaze made even that spike of distress ease.  There was no one like his wonderful lover and he wanted to do everything to show him how special he was, and how greatly he valued and loved him.  
**  
Ibiki slipped Jiraiya's hands down to his ass, but Jiraiya shook his head moving them back up to his waist. It was too quickly, he wouldn't let him push at his boundaries, they'd fall on their own as he was ready. The way his beloved had tensed as he had done it was clear indication it was not a touch he could bear yet.   
  
**Jiraiya nuzzled and kissed his throat up to his ear, his voice was soothing and warm, full of love. "I am happy with anything you are comfortable with, never push at your boundaries for me." Jiraiya's hands rested unmoving on his waist in a very light touch and Ibiki could tell if he saw any indication that it had become too much he would move them away immediately. "Jiraiya, you are extraordinary... everyone who failed to see that was a fool."  
  
Ibiki cupped his head, renewing their passionate kiss, his hands roaming eagerly over his lover's body.  Jiraiya moaned, wantonly arching into his touch and when Ibiki's fingers slipped between the firm cheeks of his ass to brush over his tempting entrance, Jiraiya gasped sharply giving a little buck back into his touch. Ibiki groaned at the tease, he wanted Jiraiya, his cock was throbbing he was so aroused by the sounds the experienced lover made at  his touch.**   
  
Jiraiya could feel Ibiki's turgid length pressed against him and it bought the urge to taste him and feel his hips buck as he came... hear his moans and cries of delight... "Ibiki... can I..."   
  
**Jiraiya's touch lightened on his waist, but he did not reach for Ibiki's arousal, just looked from the engorged length into his eyes, his desire to touch him and take him into his mouth clear in his yearning gaze.**

**"Yes." Ibiki stroked his cheek as Jiraiya slipped down, the skilled lover gave a gratified moan as his hot mouth enclosed Ibiki's length.**   
  
Jiraiya gladly drew on the swollen flesh, hearing every cry from his beloved as trust and acceptance... love.  It was so wonderful and brought him a joy greater than he'd ever gotten from giving oral sex to anyone but Ibiki.  He didn't just like doing it, he  loved doing it and watching the rapture on his Koishii's face.  Jiraiya urged his partner into fucking his mouth, listening to the soft needy groans and pants.  
  
**Jiraiya's mouth tempted and teased, stroking and sucking on Ibiki's flesh until his partner's talented mouth was bringing soft pleading whimpers of need from him.  His cries rapidly escalated to moans as his lover worked the rigid length faster in and out of the tight hold of his throat.  Ibiki howled in rapture his hips bucking rapidly before resting deep in his lover's throat and cumming, his whole body tingling at the surges of pleasure that swept through him.**  
  
Jiraiya released his sated length and rose to lightly embrace Ibiki to him, just the fact he could do this brought him pleasure.  The tremendous amount of trust Ibiki was giving to him, the acceptance... his heart was full of love for this brave man and just the ability to hold him brought a pleasure that was greater than what any sexual act could give him.  

 

The only other thing he wished he could do was to be able to hold him while he slept, but he wasn't even sure Ibiki wouldn't simply turn away from him again after sex.  He doubted he'd be allowed to touch him outside of sex, so holding him while he slept was an extremely out of reach desire.  Jiraiya dipped his head to place tender kisses over the ravaged skin of his throat, feeling his lover's breath catch at the extreme sensitivity of the scar tissue. Jiraiya heard the soft groan of pleasure Ibiki gave and once more shifted his weight to the side as his cock flushed harder, bobbing eagerly at the provocation.  
  
**Ibiki felt Jiraiya ease away as his cock flushed harder, the swollen length giving a soft jump of excitement.  Ibiki's hands lightly caressed the tender flesh of Jiraiya's stomach with soft grazes of his fingers.  Jiraiya's muted whimpers excited him, he wanted to hear more, to hear his lover crying out in pleasure at his touch... to place his lips on Jiraiya's warm soft skin.  Ibiki felt a bit uneasy, he wasn't sure he could do it but he still very much wanted to taste Jiraiya, to kiss all over his body.  Jiraiya's understanding gaze took the shame away from his awkward admission.  "I want to..."  Ibiki lacked the words for a moment before continuing.  "Kiss your body."   His gaze drifted down to Jiraiya's erection then immediately away.  "But I'm not sure if I can."  
  
Jiraiya smiled gently and caressed his face.  "Then don't, just touch me and if you feel like it... kiss where you wish.  If an area causes you to feel uneasy then move away, it should only be the things you desire.  Your pleasure brings me more enjoyment than any action you could do and your every touch is wonderful." **

**Jiraiya lay down on his back on the bed, his hands at his sides unmoving.  Ibiki was surprised at how amazing man seemed to always understand, he lay prone, and even when Ibiki slipped onto the bed beside him he remained still not touching him in anyway.  Ibiki sat beside him, running his fingers over his lover's body.  Jiraiya whimpered and moaned ecstatically, but did not move.  
  
Ibiki's gaze was cautious at first, but then he relaxed and watched Jiraiya's reactions to being touched.  The gasps and yearning shivers Jiraiya gave at his caresses were intoxicating.  Ibiki leaned over him sucking his throat as the powerful man trembled and whimpered in pleasure.   **

**Soon he was trailing down to trace the muscles of Jiraiya's chest, the wonderful moans his lover gave lead him to the discovery of his sensitive nipples.  As he flicked one his beloved cried out, his muscles jumping at the provocation, but he still didn't move.  Ibiki was thrilled that he could excite his skilled lover and reassured by every flex and ripple of his muscles that he would remain prone, not touching him... Giving him this gift, this chance to touch him freely without the distress that otherwise would be present.**

**Ibiki placed kisses and traced the hard muscles of Jiraiya's stomach with his lips, feeling them ripple under the tease... he was enjoying himself immensely, reveling in the feeling of control he had over his quivering lover as his mouth slipped down over the firm expanse. But when his eyes rested on Jiraiya's engorged length he felt a chill sweep through him.  
  
"Ibiki please, kiss me, please..." Jiraiya begged softly, for a moment Ibiki continued looking at the engorged length... kiss... him... No, Jiraiya didn't mean for him to take him in his mouth, he would not ask that. Ibiki looked up at Jiraiya, his compassionate eyes were concerned. "Please... Koishii, kiss me."  
**  
Jiraiya saw Ibiki frozen looking at his cock, he could not break the trust by moving only plead for Ibiki to move away, to come up where he could soothe him. He was so relieved when Ibiki lay down beside him, kissing him tenderly and then took Jiraiya's hand, placing it on his body in acceptance of him moving.

 

Jiraiya tenderly cupped his face kissing him gently, and massaging his back lightly. He broke the kiss to place adoring kisses on Ibiki's throat, his tone deep with love. "You amaze me, you are so very strong, so very wonderful... your every touch bliss."

**Ibiki turned his head and passionately kissed his beloved.** **"I don't know how I could have ever been so blessed to find you."  Ibiki took beloved's hand stroking it slowly down his body and over his hips.**

**Jiraiya watched his face. "May I kiss your body?"**

**Ibiki nodded, but he was still a bit on edge and wasn't entirely sure he wanted Jiraiya covering him at his moment.  Jiraiya remained beside him as he slowly kissed down his throat, gently tracing the scars, Ibiki groaned in pleasure.  His extraordinary lover's every kiss, every stroke of his tongue was ecstasy.  Jiraiya nuzzled his hand encouraging his touch and Ibiki freely stroked his back as his partner slowly slipped down a bit lower.**

**His amazing mouth stopped at Ibiki's waist and he looked up at him, asking if he could bear for him to go lower.  Ibiki nodded and Jiraiya continued skillfully caressing his flesh tempting him and leaving his cock pounding long before the skilled man reached his pelvis.  Ibiki gasped, then moaned loudly, as Jiraiya kissed his turgid length.  
**  
Jiraiya was so very tempted at the sight of his lover's cock, the tip flushed and dotted with precum.  Ibiki groaned urgently as Jiraiya's tongue gathered the coveted drop from the tip and he huskily gasped, "I need you Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya slipped up to lay beside him. "Would you like me to... lay on top you?"   
  
**Ibiki smiled lovingly.  "And prepare yourself?   I think I am able to do that my Koishii."**

**Jiraiya gave a soft whimper. "You have no idea how wonderful it feels to be called that."  Ibiki rolled over to cover him and kissed him.  Ibiki felt his beloved wrap his legs loosely around his waist and he gently reassured. "You do not need to prepare me, it will not hurt me... but I worry about upsetting you."**

**Ibiki swore he loved this man more with every word, every touch. "My Koishii." Ibiki kissed him passionately as his cock slowly pressed into the tight heat, breaking the kiss only to moan in bliss as Jiraiya's body enclosed him.  As he rested deep inside his lover, he began kissing him once more and rocking his hips.  His sensual partner whimpered joyously into their kiss and when Ibiki broke the kiss to moan, Jiraiya gasped, "You feel so wonderful!"**

**Ibiki's need soared at the pleasure of his lover and soon he was fucking the amazing man fast and deep as his beloved cried out in rapture. "Touch me." Ibiki begged, "Touch my body...Koishii."  
**  
Jiraiya felt a great deal of concern, but kept it hidden behind the pleasure of his cries.  He feared Ibiki was pushing his limits because he wanted to please him.  Jiraiya tenderly caressed his back as he bowed into his Koishii's strokes, drawing him deeper and bringing a ecstatic moan from him.  His touch lightened as it slowly worked down to Ibiki's waist, then feathered whisper soft over his lover's ass before moving back up to mid back.   
  
**Ibiki felt the barest brush over the cheeks of his ass and tried to view it as the pleasurable touch of his beloved... but he wasn't sure he could bear even that and was extremely relieved as the hand immediately moved away.**  

 

**Jiraiya shifted his hips, howling in rapture as Ibiki brushed his prostate.  The sound his erotic lover made and feel of his passage tightening was too great a temptation.  Ibiki groaned as his strokes grew more fevered and his partner urgently rocked into them, then his Koishii arched and cried out as Ibiki hit his pleasure spot.**

**Ibiki groaned loudly, burying his cock deep in the contracting passage.  Feeling the amazing clasp and draw of the muscles and giving a few last bucks as he completely sated himself within his partner.  
**  
Jiraiya cradled Ibiki to him, trying to 'drink in' all the comfort and pleasure of getting to touch him and knowing his lover would soon draw away. He didn't want to release him, but when Ibiki shifted free and rose off him he let him draw away.  He waited for the loving warmth in his eyes to turn cold... waited for his Koishii to turn away.  He would not let him know how much it hurt, he needed to just simply accept it...  
  
**Ibiki saw the hopelessness in Jiraiya's gaze, it made his heart hurt to see the expectation of pain and rejection in his eyes. Knowing how he'd hurt him so many times by 'rejecting him' after sex, made it even more important he explain why he could not lay embracing him as they slept.  Ibiki cupped his face, "Jiraiya... My dreams" he hesitated unsure exactly how to say it, then he simply and bluntly stated. "I cannot sleep beside you... I'll try to kill you."**

 

Jiraiya wanted so much to protect his badly injured beloved, but from his dreams, he sadly  could not.  His poor Koishii suffered at night and was even denied comfort.  His brave lover bore so much pain, and he'd bore it alone for so long.

 

**Jiraiya looked stunned, then his gaze turned so adoring and understanding Ibiki was tempted to try.  "I understand, my strong, brave Koishii... I wish I could erase all that they've done to you.  I can accept what you can give, always, you never need to push yourself to give more."  
  
Jiraiya's understanding and unreserved acceptance made Ibiki wish for so many things, one day he would sleep beside him... but for now. "I'd like to shower with you."  He would never have thought he could do all he had, Jiraiya brought down barriers and freed him in so many ways. **

**He knew without a doubt that even when in the shower Jiraiya would never simply touch him, his Koishii would give all he'd ask for and accept what he was able to give back without demand or expectation.   He never would have believed someone like Jiraiya existed, and that he was lucky enough to have his love was nothing short of a miracle.  
  
Jiraiya smiled. "I would enjoy that." He watched as Ibiki rose and his smile widened. "You really are incredible." **

**Ibiki quirked a disbelieving eyebrow and replied wryly, "I'll take your word for that."  
  
The playful man laughed as he rose and replied, "Please do." **

**Ibiki leaned into him kissing him softly, before turning to walk into the bathroom and start the shower.  
**  
Jiraiya followed, watching his powerful muscles flexing, but it was so much more than just his body.  Ibiki was amazing in so many ways. The strength to continue after all that had been done to him and the horrible treatment he received from others for his bravery.  Enduring all he had without telling the Rain nin anything... and still he not only went on, but was able to accept the abuse of the villager's he'd suffered to protect without protest.  
  
**Ibiki looked over at Jiraiya, he was going to ask how hot he liked his shower, but the look of adoration on his lover's face swept the words from his thoughts.  He reached out, drawing his beloved into the shower and kissing him lovingly.  It was only after he'd finally drawn back from the kiss that he remembered what he was going to ask.  "Is this warm enough... I mean the shower..."**  
  
Jiraiya smiled his lips curved in gentle amusement as he replied, "They are both quite nice, the kiss and the shower."  He understood the shower not being scalding, the scar tissue that covered Ibiki's body would have made a stronger heat very painful. "Is the shower spray too hard?"  
  
**The fact Jiraiya had thought of that... "You make me want to write all the idiots who left you a thank you for being too dumb to realize what they were giving up."**

**Jiraiya smiled, but his eyes were sad as he replied, "There's quite a few, I think your hand would tire long before you got through that list."**

**Ibiki stroked his cheek in apology, that was insensitive although he hadn't meant it to be, he was admittedly extremely unfamiliar with interacting with others.**  
  
Jiraiya was dreading the day Ibiki's name joined all the others on that 'list'... he swore he loved him more with every touch the normally reserved man gave him, the gift of his trust was precious. "Can I touch you?"

 

Ibiki nodded, and he only stiffened slightly as Jiraiya's hand brushed over his shoulder, then his posture relaxed.

  
**Ibiki studied Jiraiya's face, he wanted to do something to take away the pain of his words, but it was not likely he'd be able to find the words to do so.  Finally he just asked, "Would you like me to wash you?"**

**Jiraiya smiled, but his eyes held concern, "That would be nice."**  
  
Jiraiya was a bit worried that Ibiki would find it upsetting, there was no doubt that his body would 'react' whether he wished it or not.  But he would not treat Ibiki like a child, his Koishii was able to make his own decisions on whether he wished to try things or not. Still it went without saying that he would be watching for signs his Koishii was distressed.  He lifted his hand from Ibiki and stood with his arms at his sides as his partner soaped up a cloth and started stroking over his shoulders.  Jiraiya nearly groaned at the silky stroke, this was going to be a tremendous test of his restraint, his body already eagerly responding to that light touch.  
  
**Ibiki heard Jiraiya's breath hitch and knew if he was to look down his lover was very likely extremely aroused, still aside from that soft catch and his eyes darkening in desire Jiraiya did not react.  Ibiki continued stroking the cloth over his shoulders then down his chest.  By the time he'd reached the hard plains of his stomach his companion was trembling slightly, his breathing heavy and slow.  Ibiki knew he was trying to calm himself, he also knew it was very unlikely he'd succeed.  It was the human psyche... his body knew the touch of his lover and it was simply impossible to not respond.**

**Ibiki set the cloth aside and embraced him, kissing him passionately, the slick soap between them was a great tease of them both and he tried to ignore the surge of distress the feel of Jiraiya's cock pressed against him brought.**  
  
Jiraiya felt Ibiki tense and shifted his hips to angle his body away slightly, he was a bit surprised when he felt Ibiki's hands cup his hips and bring their bodies back to meet.  Jiraiya gave a soft groan at the feel of Ibiki's hard cock pressing against him, the temptation to rock his hips was so strong.  
  
**Ibiki could feel Jiraiya's muscles flex as he resisted moving against him.  It eased some of the  stress he'd still felt, although much was already brushed away by the skilled way Jiraiya's mouth now teased him.  Ibiki lifted his hand up and brushed lightly over Jiraiya's pelvis. The soft whimper his lover gave into their kiss excited him greatly, his hand slipped down further and traced a finger lightly up the rigid length of Jiraiya's erection slowly up to the head.  Jiraiya shivered hard and gasped breaking their kiss to pant at the tease.  
  
Ibiki watched Jiraiya's face with interest, he refused to think on what he was fondling only the effect it was having on his lover.  His finger slipped back to the base his excitement growing at the fevered response of his partner.  His own breathing was growing labored as well.  The tease of seeing Jiraiya react and the quiver of his lover's muscles as he continued resisting his urge to thrust into his caress was the final temptation. **

**Ibiki took Jiraiya's hand bringing it to his turgid length and moaned loudly as his beloved's skilled fingers brought him strong surges of nearly over whelming pleasure.  Now urgently needy, Ibikis hand wrapped around Jiraiya's swollen length and he grasped Jiraiya's hip urging him to thrust into his touch.**

Ibiki's 'offer' was one Jiraiya was more than delighted to accept, carefully he rocked his hips moaning at the sensation of his Koishii's hand on his throbbing cock. When Ibiki did not become disturbed by his actions he relaxed a bit and continued thrusting into his touch, although faster he didn't grow any more forceful.  

 

The pleasure he was getting from Ibiki's touch was as great as the pleasure he was getting from being allowed to touch him!    He ached with need, his desire now so powerful it was hard to remain in control.  
  
Ibiki moaned as he bucked rapidly into Jiraiya's touch his hand still caressing Jiraiya's erection as it rocked into his hand.  Jiraiya's mind cleared as he saw his lover nearing his orgasm, he was still 'enjoying himself' greatly, but his thoughts were now focused more on Ibiki's reactions than the wonderful stimulation.

When his beloved climaxed, Jiraiya stilled his thrusts, watching to see if his Koishii was distressed by any of it.  It was possible that now that his partner wasn't fevered by need the knowledge of where he was touching him and what he was doing may be disturbing.  
  
**Ibiki saw his lover's serious gaze studying him and cupped his head kissing him.  Even tempted so greatly, Jiraiya had stopped himself out of concern he may be going too far. Ibiki remained focused on his lover's face as he continued to stroke his swollen length and his mouth lowered to tease the tender skin of his lover's throat until Jiraiya was crying out in rapture his climax leaving him flushed and breathing hard.**

**Ibiki wryly commented, "Guess washing you didn't really get you any cleaner."**  
  
Jiraiya laughed, "Have I told you lately how incredible you are?" Ibiki was joking with him and he was not upset by anything they'd done.  Jiraiya's heart soared at Ibiki's teasing little smile as he replied, "Think you may have mentioned it."  
  
They finished washing themselves and walked out to the bed.  Jiraiya grabbed a pillow and the extra blanket off the shelf but Ibiki stopped him. "No you take the bed, I'm fine with the floor, I'm very used to sleeping on the ground."

 

Jiraiya shook his head, he really didn't want Ibiki sleeping on the floor, yes he was used to it... used to it because the way people treated him and it was so very wrong, being refused lodging because of his scars.  
  
**Jiraiya's gaze was tender.  "Please take the bed Ibiki." After a moment of looking into his eyes Ibiki agreed, for some reason it was very important to Jiraiya, he nodded and watched as Jiraiya laid down on the blanket.  Ibiki noted he slept nude and suppressed an amused smirk, of course he slept nude... the picture of seduction, he never met a more tempting person.  
  
Ibiki slipped on some sleep pants and lay down on the bed, he closed his eyes and briefly wondered if he'd be able to sleep with someone in the room with him.  Sleeping outside was different than being in a room with someone.  To his surprise he found Jiraiya's soft breathing to be relaxing, the last time he'd felt this way was listening to Idate sleeping... that was not a happy thought.**  
  
Jiraiya heard Ibiki's breathing change, he could tell he was not relaxed any more. Looking out the window as he lay there he commented softly, "The moon is very full tonight... all the mice better watch out, the owl's young will eat well tonight."   
  
Ibiki looked down at him, his eyes were amused. "You sound like me when I used to try to lull Idate... Thank you."  When Ibiki lay back he was relaxed once more and not long after the two men were asleep.  
  
**Ibiki woke, he knew he'd forced himself out of a nightmare because his heart was still racing but he'd gotten good enough at suppressing his reactions that he knew he wouldn't have woke Jiraiya even before he glanced down at him.  His lover looked so serine in sleep, Ibiki lay watching him until sleep claimed him once more.**  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When Jiraiya woke in the morning, he remained lying there looking up and out the window through the thin curtain, he knew the moment he moved it would wake Ibiki.  As it was Ibiki suddenly woke his gaze fierce, something had alerted him, possibly the change in his breathing pattern.  Looking at him right now Jiraiya had no doubt that if he'd been beside him it would have been a dangerous situation. Ibiki's eyes softened as recognition immediately surfaced.  
  
**Ibiki knew he'd probably disturbed Jiraiya by his reaction to being woke but you'd never know it from looking at him, both his gaze and his voice were warm and welcoming. "We should probably eat before leaving."**

**Ibiki nodded, he was very unfamiliar with waking 'beside' someone.  Outside it was wide open, not enclosed, it didn't feel like he was 'near' someone like when in a room.  Having someone near when his dreams were so 'close' left him agitated, uncomfortable... afraid.**

**Jiraiya sat up, but did not rise or approach him and Ibiki's tension slowly eased as he watched him.  Jiraiya looked so patient, so relaxed... Ibiki rose and a moment later Jiraiya did as well, walking over and rummaging through his pack, drawing out clothes.  Ibiki's eyes rested on his companion's muscular thighs a moment before slipping up to the firm cheeks of his ass.**  
  
Jiraiya didn't turn around, but teased softly. "You keep looking at me like that and we'll be making a very late start on our return trip."  
  
"You're incredibly sexy." Ibiki replied. Jiraiya looked over in surprise, his gaze slipping down to the prominent erection tenting the front of Ibiki's sleep pants. when his eyes lifted to meet Ibiki's once more they were dark with desire.  
_  
_ Jiraiya wasn't sure if he should approach him or wait and see if Ibiki approached him... it was evident he desired him, but that did not mean his beloved wished to have sex.  Jiraiya knew he had a unnaturally high sex drive... or so he'd been teased, but he wasn't a letch he really did not 'require' sex every time he became aroused and his body would calm.  
  
**Ibiki walked over, but it was simply to kiss his Koishii tenderly, he appreciated his beloved not taking his bodily interest as an invitation and the soft adoring kiss Jiraiya gave him held no expectation.  He was truly blessed, he didn't feel like there was any requirement for an explanation or even disappointment from the patient man.  
  
He couldn't explain why he didn't wish to... perhaps it was just the fact he was uncomfortable with the strangeness of waking up with another person or that his dreams were still too 'close', but he didn't think he could bear to be touched.  
  
Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's cheek then walked over to his pack, drew out his clothes and they dressed.  Leaving the hotel was an amusing event, Jiraiya's gaze challenged anyone who would look in their direction.  It was very flattering that Jiraiya felt so protective of him, but unnecessary, they could not say or do anything that had not been done before.  
**  
The return trip to Leaf took much less time than it had taken for him to arrive at the port and Jiraiya realized he'd been so reluctant to go that he'd spent several additional days traveling that could have been eliminated... but it was a good thing he had or he'd have been gone on a ship by the time Ibiki arrived.  Jiraiya looked over at Ibiki, he still couldn't believe he loved him, if he'd left he'd have missed this chance to be with him and to have his love.  If only for a while.   
  
Ibiki saw Jiraiya's look and said, "I would have come after you, even if you had left Fire."

 

Jiraiya felt a exquisite warmth, Ibiki wanted him enough that he would have followed him!  Jiraiya had no doubt his Koishii would become bored with him or find someone else, everyone did, but for now he had this wonderful man's love and that was more than he could have hoped for.  
  
Walking in the gate Jiraiya watched how Ibiki behaved towards him to judge if he wanted to maintain his distance in public... and at first it seemed he did, but when Ibiki looked over at him his emotionless gaze warmed. "I have to report in to the Hokage."  
  
**Ibiki wanted to ask if he'd come along, but this whole relationship thing was new and he had no idea what he was supposed to behave like.  He didn't want to 'make demands' of Jiraiya, he may wish to relax now that he was here...  Which brought up another thing, was he expected to ask Jiraiya to stay with him?  Would he be hurt if he did not?**

**It wasn't that he didn't wish him around, he did, but he was uncomfortable with the thought of living with someone.  Not because he didn't wish to commit, strictly physically, he needed some time to get used to someone being in his home before asking if he wished to live there.**  
  
Ibiki looked distracted and Jiraiya felt uncertain, but offered, "If you don't mind I'd like to come along and tell Tsunade I'm back."

 

Ibiki looked seriously at him and nodded, but replied, "She'll know you are back... I wouldn't return without you, no matter how long it took to find you."  
  
**Ibiki saw the stunned look in his beloved's eyes, he'd been hurt so often that it surprised him that someone would look for him.  As they walked into the Administration building Ibiki took his hand and his thumb stroked over his palm before releasing it.**  
  
This was too astounding to believe!  Ibiki would have followed him until he found him... and now he was showing affection in 'public'!  

 

Iruka stepped out of the missions office he looked at Jiraiya then Ibiki in surprise. "I don't see you in here often Ibiki.  I hope everything is ok." His gaze returned to Jiraiya and he smiled warmly. "Hello  Jiraiya."  
  
**Ibiki replied emotionlessly, "Everything in the village is fine now." And he stroked Jiraiya's cheek.  Jiraiya looked at him in surprise, then smiled affectionately.**

**Iruka's eyes widened and he looked between the two of them stunned for a moment then smiled warmly. "I am glad. Say hello to Lady Tsunade for me."**

**Ibiki gave a brief nod and Jiraiya smiled. "Will do."**

**Iruka waved and continued on his way to deliver the papers in his hand to whomever required them.**  
  
As they walked up the stairs Jiraiya glanced over at Ibiki and said softly, "I understand if you don't wish to publicly display affection... you don't have to do it for me." It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the affection, he did... so very much, but he didn't want Ibiki doing things that were uncomfortable for him.  
  
Ibiki looked over at him, although his tone was expressionless as was normal for the reclusive man when in public, his eyes held affection. "I wish to."   
  
**When they arrived at Lady Tsunade's office Ibiki walked in with Jiraiya and the Hokage's eyes lit with happiness. "Jiraiya..." Then as she caught herself she frowned and scolded, "Just thought you'd walk away without even telling me you're leaving?!"**

**Ibiki could see she was in no way angry, or even annoyed, she'd been worried.  It was very evident Jiraiya wasn't fooled in the least, as he teased, "You missed me? What did Shizune find your bottle here and you needed to sneak off to the bar without me?"  
  
Tsunade scowled.  "Yes, that's right, and you should be ashamed."   
  
Jiraiya replied sincerely. "I am, I shouldn't have worried you."**  
  
Jiraiya watched his friends eyes she looked so grateful to see him it made him feel terrible for upsetting her. In spite of her teasing tone there was honest happiness in her reply, "Yes, well... I'm glad you're back..."

 

Her eyes rested on Ibiki who stood closer to Jiraiya than what was normal for him to wish to be with anyone.  "Can you stop frightening the villagers now?"

Ibiki looked stoically back, his voice monotone but his reply held a touch of dry humor, "I can." His eyes rested on Jiraiya and they filled with love. Jiraiya reached out to touch his hand but hesitated, Ibiki caught it and held it a few moments as his emotionless gaze returned to Lady Tsunade.

She looked between the two men and nodded firmly, "I'm glad." What was meant as a reply held a deeper meaning just as Iruka's had; happiness for them... Jiraiya knew he needed to talk to her later, to make sure she understood and would not hold it against Ibiki when he decided to end the relationship.  It was enough that he cared now and worth the pain Jiraiya knew he would suffer later.   
  
"Ok well... get out of here you two, I have work to do."She waved at the door and sat frowning at the scrolls piled on her desk.

**Work... Not likely, Ibiki knew better, but she was giving them an out and he was perfectly willing to take it.**

**Ibiki gave a stiff nod and Jiraiya laughed, "Sure. I will see you later." and turned walking out the door, as Ibiki walked out and started to close it Tsunade said softly, "Ibiki..."**

**He looked back at her and she said seriously, "Thank you."  
  
Ibiki replied equally seriously, "I will not hurt him." and closed the door quietly. He had no intention of ever letting Jiraiya go and he would never take the chance of losing him again. Ibiki caught Jiraiya's hand and drew him back into his arms and kissed him softly before releasing him once more.  
**  
When Ibiki released him Jiraiya smiled, then looked up to see Shizune watching them and smiling happily.  Ibiki didn't seem to notice or care, although Jiraiya was certain he did notice her.  They walked down the stairs and out into the road, walking towards the village square quietly.  
  
**Ibiki spotted Mikomi before he noticed Jiraiya and when the boy saw his former lover, he smiled and started across the market square towards Jiraiya, but halfway there he noticed Ibiki beside him and stopped frozen.  Ibiki glared at him and the young man backed away so quickly he bumped into the people behind him then bounced off a few more as he quickly fled.**

**Ibiki would never have pictured himself as the jealous type, but it was jealousy... and so much more. The foolish child had hurt Jiraiya... and he should be nervous, if he caught the boy flirting with Jiraiya he was not going to be kind, he wouldn't let him toy with Jiraiya.   
  
Jiraiya looked at him but his eyes did not hold reprimand, or amusement... for which Ibiki was grateful. He knew it didn't make sense but it remained true, he held hostility towards the youth for the frivolous way he played with Jiraiya's heart and a touch of jealousy because he knew his Koishii still felt love for him.  Jiraiya was so accepting and giving, the boy didn't deserve that love.  
**  
Jiraiya looked at Ibiki with acceptance, he understood his Koishii feeling threatened, his beloved had watched him pine over Mikomi for months... it was understandable he'd feel hostile. They continued through the market, Jiraiya spotted some peaches. He looked over at Ibiki curiously, "Do you like peaches?"   
  
The large man was quiet a few moments before replying, "I'm not sure, I never tried one."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he was curious about so many things, he didn't know what his Koishii's favorite food was or any of his likes or dislikes. However, he would not keep asking and force Ibiki to reply, he did not look comfortable out in public like this.  Jiraiya kept the conversation light and to a commentary that would not require response if Ibiki didn't wish. "I remember trying them when I was a child... as a seasonal fruit it was a rare and special thing, I looked forward all year to the harvest festival..."  
  
**Ibiki listened to his lover catching every shift in tone, they painted a picture of a innocence that was taken too long ago, bled from him like the tears the marks on his face represented.**  
  
When they reached the ANBU building Ibiki turned looking at Jiraiya sincerely, "I would like if you could come over tonight."

 

Jiraiya smiled adoringly, "Anytime you wish." Ibiki nodded and for a moment Jiraiya caught a whisper of sorrow in his dark eyes.

**"20:00. I will cook for you."** **Ibiki saw the concern and affection in his extraordinary Koishii's gaze, it soothed him.**

**"I would love that.  Is there anything you need me to pick up?" Jiraiya replied sincerely.**

**Ibiki hated shopping, the fear everyone showed around him made asking any questions very difficult, not to mention the relief they displayed when they were sure he left.  He rarely got more than a few steps away before they started regaling to their friends the terrifying story... "Yes, Karei... or another white fish if you'd prefer a different type, and ginger root."  
  
Jiraiya smiled. "Karei is fine, I will see you 20:00." **

**Ibiki nodded, for a moment he just continued looking at him, then stroked his cheek before walking into the building.  It wasn't so much that he didn't wish to display affection, Jiraiya made him wish to nearly all the time, but he was very unfamiliar with doing so.  
  
He hadn't wanted to touch anyone or be touched in a very long time and he didn't like other's watching him, he didn't want to share his 'special moments' with Jiraiya, not with anyone.  But on the other hand he did not wish to resist doing so, he wanted to express how precious Jiraiya was to him, to erase his fears.  It didn't take an interrogation specialist to see he expected to be hurt in the end... but there would never be an 'end' as long as Jiraiya wished to be with him he would never leave him.  He thought briefly on the concern in Jiraiya's eyes when he remembered the last time he'd cooked for someone... Idate. **

**Ibiki brushed all that aside focusing on the pile of reports he needed to review, they had stacked up quite a bit in the days he'd been gone.  
  
Several hours later he glanced up at the clock and felt a strong surge of pleasure at the thought Jiraiya would be waiting for him... then a small bit of uneasiness.  He hadn't told Jiraiya to meet him here... it was possible he was already at his house.  The thought of someone being inside his house was a very uncomfortable one, even if it was the man he loved.   
  
Ibiki walked out the door and almost smiled he was so pleased to see him, Jiraiya had not gone to his house, he had knew to meet him here.  Not many people would think of that, understand that he would be uncomfortable with someone being there when he came home, his beloved constantly amazed him with how careful and thoughtful he was.  
**  
Jiraiya saw the slight twitch of Ibiki's lips and knew he'd almost smiled at him he was so happy to see him, that brought a rush of pleasure and he smiled affectionately at the reserved man. "I have our ingredients... I also picked up some tea, do you like tea?" Ibiki nodded, Jiraiya's smile widened, "Good."  
  
They walked in comfortable silence until they'd reached his home, Ibiki opened the door. Jiraiya stepped inside and waited, he was sure this was still a very uncomfortable change for him, it was highly doubtful he had let people into his house for many years.  Jiraiya wanted to kiss him, but simply waited for Ibiki to gesture towards the kitchen.  Then walked in and lay the fish out on the cutting board before turning towards his beloved and asking, "Was there anything you'd like me to do to help?"

 

Ibiki shook his head, "It's a very simple recipe."   
  
"May I sit and watch you?" Jiraiya asked politely.  
  
**Ibiki couldn't help smiling, his amusement clear in his tone, "I would love it." From the way Jiraiya acted it was obvious he had guessed Ibiki would still be uneasy about others being in his house and was the perfect 'guest'. Jiraiya sat on a stool out of the way and watched Ibiki prepare the fish, he looked at Ibiki in surprise as he grated the daikon and carrot, made a salad and steamed rice. "It smells wonderful!" Jiraiya exclaimed.**

**Ibiki just smiled and while the fish simmered he walked over to kiss him tenderly. "I never imagined there could be someone like you, or that I could ever be so happy."  
  
Jiraiya's gaze was deep with love as he replied, "I will do anything to see that smile... it is truly beautiful." **

**Ibiki kissed him then groaned and reluctantly drew back, "I'm going to burn our food." Jiraiya's gentle laugh erased the last bit of discomfort he felt at having someone in his home, he felt familiar... comfortable, not like a stranger.  
  
Ibiki rescued the fish and transferred everything to the table.  
**  
The food was incredible but throughout the meal Ibiki would pause for several minutes looking down at his plate as if something was bothering him about it.  The way he looked at the fish was a clue that wasn't hard to pick up.  Jiraiya was sure his beloved had no idea the sorrow that was in his eyes. "Can I touch you?"

**Ibiki nodded, his Koishii's touch surprised him.  He felt the tender soft brush of Jiraiya's fingers over his face, the understanding in his touch and his gentle kiss was unexpected.  But it shouldn't have surprised him, t** **his compassionate man had suffered, he understood the sudden rush of emotions and accepted that Ibiki had a lot of pain locked inside.  Jiraiya would sit and support him no matter what he needed to deal with, he did not expect him to share why.**

**Ibiki closed his eyes when he reopened them he'd regained control and held Jiraiya's hand stroking the palm with his thumb, the explanation came without effort. "Idate was the only other person I've cooked for, he loved my cooking... so many things were lost... so many memories I've tried to erase."**  
  
Jiraiya nodded in understanding, he'd felt the same way too many times.  Trying not to let a memory haunt him with little success, memories were too powerful to banish, often unexpected and unwelcome. "I have not had anyone cook for me since I left home as a youth... I didn't know that would be the last time my mother would ever cook for me.  This is special, thank you for cooking for me."  
  
**Ibiki stroked his fingers softly over Jiraiya's cheek and his heart flopped like a teens as Jiraiya closed his eyes in pleasure and gave a soft hum of enjoyment.  He leaned in and brushed his lips over Jiraiya's hearing his breath catch and then speed.  
**  
Jiraiya opened his eyes as Ibiki drew back and smiled, he was sure Ibiki knew how much that aroused him, the evidence was now straining at the front of his pants.   
  
**"Touch me."  Ibiki asked and was surprised by the tender caress of his Koishii, the understanding and compassion in the soft kisses he placed over his face.  Even though his lover was 'excited' he had not forgotten that Ibiki was sad about the memory of Idate.  "I swear I love you more with every day."  
  
Ibiki's words drew a shocked look and the small smile the empathetic Sannin gave was tinged with pain.  "I feel the same way."  **

**The incredible man had no idea how precious he was and Ibiki swore he would find ways to show him.  "Want you to touch me freely, to be able to..."  
  
Jiraiya's smile grew and turned adoring.  "That will come in time, I can wait."**  
  
Ibiki rose and drew him up, then took his hand and placed it on his waist.  Jiraiya let it remain there, but watched Ibiki's eyes for any sign it was too much and moaned softly as Ibiki molded him to his body. To Jiraiya's delight Ibiki did not 'react' negatively to the feel of his cock pressed against him.  Aside from a small ripple of his muscles at the now ingrained instinct to move away, he had not stiffened.  In fact the only stiffening Jiraiya felt was Ibiki's cock... and that was a reaction that was very welcomed.  Ibiki cupped his head kissing him hungrily. _  
_  
Jiraiya shivered at the temptation, but his hands remained undemanding, lightly on Ibiki's waist.  The feel of the solid body beneath his hands drew such powerful urges to kiss and fondle it to explore and taste all of it freely... but he would do nothing that could end his time with Ibiki.  He was going to do everything in his power to be everything Ibiki wanted and needed.  
  
**Ibiki broke the kiss and nibbled gently at Jiraiya's throat, he was shocked at the loud longing whimper it drew and continued until Jiraiya was trembling beneath his hands, urgently needy... his hands still resting lightly on his waist. Damn he was amazing, how could this man love him?!**

**Jiraiya seemed to know his thoughts, as he passionately looked in Ibiki's eyes, he stated.  "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and I will do anything for you."  
  
Ibiki groaned softly, the needs that grew in him with his lover's every touch, he would have never imagined he could wish to do so many things that he'd only had done to him in abuse. He wanted to feel Jiraiya's body covering his, he'd enjoyed it the times he had lain briefly on top of him, although he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to be fucked... the memories...**  
  
Ibiki had froze and Jiraiya's hands slipped up to his back, although it was probably not what was causing Ibiki's reaction it would not help calm him to have his hands in an area that his beloved  was still unsure of. The movement broke Ibiki from his thoughts and to Jiraiya's surprise he moved his hands back down to his waist again, his body slowly relaxing.  
  
**That was the past... Jiraiya would never ask for anything he was not willing to give.  He wanted to go forward, to give Jiraiya the trust he deserved.  Unfortunately his body reacted even if he emotionally trusted him.  He stepped back taking his lover's hand and led him to the bedroom.  "I want you to... undress me."  
**  
Jiraiya understood what he was really asking and it was a large step, being exposed by someone... touched all over his body.  It may be too big a step, but his beloved wished it so he would.

 

Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, barely brushing his skin as his delft fingers easily unbuttoned his shirt and his mouth left Ibiki's trailing down the tender skin of his lover's throat, stroking the sensitive scars.  
  
**Ibiki moaned it was only if he concentrated that he realized Jiraiya had used it as a diversion for slipping his shirt off... and he saw no reason to concentrate so he just reveled in the intoxicating movement of Jiraiya's mouth over his body.**  
  
Jiraiya hadn't expected too much difficulty with Ibiki's shirt, but his pants... well, that was going to be much more difficult.  Jiraiya's mouth continued down the ravaged flesh of his Koishii's  chest... his tongue traced the scars that cross crossed his hard stomach as he slowly sunk down to his knees. Listening to Ibiki's moans was exciting and wonderful, but he could not let it distract him from what he was doing.  Carefully he unfastened his lover's pants as Ibiki groaned in pleasure at the teasing flicks of Jiraiya's tongue over his tender skin.  The little teases moved down further, stroking over his pelvis as Jiraiya released his beloved's cock from the confinement of his pants.  
  
**Jiraiya's mouth inflamed his passion until he was panting at the extreme pleasure.  The light brush of his hands over his hips to loosen his pants so they could be down only drew a small spike of anxiety that was immediately swallowed up by desire as his lover's tongue feathered over the head of his engorged length.  The hot wet embrace of Jiraiya's mouth covered his cock and even as he felt the hands draw at his pants it was hard to care.  The skillful way the experienced man's mouth caressed him was too incredible to think of anything else!  
  
That thought was tested only seconds later as Ibiki felt Jiraiya's hands stroke over his ass to draw his pants down, but he'd barely started to stiffen in reaction before Jiraiya smoothly slipped down taking his cock to the base.  His throat enclosing it in the rapturous pleasure of its depths.  **

**Ibiki was panting, barely resisting the urge to fuck the temptation when he felt Jiraiya nudge his foot and Ibiki lifted it to allow Jiraiya to free his foot from the pants.  Before he could concentrate on the fact, Jiraiya slipped back and sucked on the flushed head of his erection until it was throbbing.  Then the experienced lover flicked it as he nudged his other foot and when he lifted it to draw his pants away Ibiki no longer cared he needed Jiraiya so greatly.**  
  
Jiraiya released his heated flesh and rose, quickly slipping his own clothes off as Ibiki's eyes ravenously roamed over him.  The sight of his lovers hunger had Jiraiya nearly as desperately needy as Ibiki by the time he'd finished and he lay down on the bed eagerly welcoming his lover's body covering him.  
  
**Ibiki felt the light touch of Jiraiya's hands on his upper back and the loose enclosure of his legs around his waist as Jiraiya trembled in desire beneath him. Pushing in to the nirvana of Jiraiya's body strained his control but there was something he wanted to say. "Hold me, let me feel your whole body embrace mine." Jiraiya's hands rested heavier, his legs wrapped tighter and as Ibiki started fucking him he cried out in rapture arching into his thrusts, it was so exciting!  
  
Ibiki groaned, the rapid drum of his cock into his lover drawing cries of pleasure from them both.  Every rock of Jiraiya's hips into his thrusts driving his cock deep into him, wanting him, needing him... the pleasure so intense he moaned steadily.**

**Then Ibiki howled in pleasure as Jiraiya tilted his hips and his next thrust brought his lover's climax.  The strong contractions of his partner's muscles drawing on his cock in a way that was so glorious it went beyond rapture.  Ibiki's hips continued bucking softly as his release was drawn out until he was fully sated laying atop his beloved and kissing him lovingly.**

**Ibiki kissed the shell of his beloved's ear and urged, "I want you to continue touching me... With you I can believe one day I will be free to enjoy everything without reservation..."**

**Yes, even taking Jiraiya into him seemed like it may be possible someday, but for now... for now he would work on allowing Jiraiya to touch him freely.  
  
**

**Ibiki withdrew and rose off him to lay beside Jiraiya on the bed, they'd need to shower in a minute but for now he was free to lay beside Jiraiya.  The gentle way the powerful man held him made Ibiki wish he could sleep beside him... one day that too would be possible.  His beloved lay stroking his chest lightly, the large muscular man felt so right beside him, they matched so well it was as if they were made to suit each other.  Ibiki had seen others with their frail little lovers, both male and female... the concept had seemed ludicrous and he'd come to the conclusion that having a frail smaller companion made them feel strong and protective, he did not need something weak to make him feel strong.  
**  
Jiraiya saw his lover was deep in thought but it did not seem bad thoughts so he didn't worry, simply continued lightly stroking his chest.  The soft brush of his hand over the tender scar tissue had a unforeseen effect, although if he'd thought about it he'd have realized it.  Ibiki was steadily growing aroused once more.  This time Jiraiya was not urgently desperate and he decided to try something... sending a slow steady pulse of chakra through his finger tips as he stroked him.

 

His finger circled Ibiki's nipple and his partner shivered but did not seem distressed just surprised. Jiraiya's touch lightened to a whisper light feather as he traced his scars down over his pelvis, Ibiki was panting his cock beaded with precum, cautiously Jiraiya slipped lower.  
  
**Jiraiya's touch was like a soft hum, a warm almost vibration unlike anything Ibiki had ever felt before his body tingled every where the fingers had caressed and his cock was throbbing at the provocation.  Inside he was wanting to beg for that enticing touch to reach his cock, but unfamiliar with wanting he couldn't find the words, his brain fogged with lust he could only quiver and moan at the extreme need it was drawing.  
**  
Jiraiya quickly stroked a bit firmer, trailing the stronger pulses up the length of his lovers arousal.  Ibiki's eyes widened and he cried out, his hips bucking hard as he came.  Jiraiya was a bit concerned, had he pushed too far?  He'd not only touched him below the waist without asking, yes he'd said he could but... and the chakra pulses... _  
  
_ Ibiki grasped him tight, kissing him ravenously, and as his lips slipped down to fervently suckle on his throat he growled in a husky purr. "That was amazing... you are amazing!"

 

 Jiraiya felt a flood of relief.  He couldn't be sure what they had done to his beloved in their torture of him and he could not ask for Ibiki to recount every small thing they'd done to shame and abuse him.  So he had to just go slow and try to judge if something was going to upset him, he was bound to be wrong at times but he was grateful this had not been one of those times.  
  
Would it be this... his pushing be the thing that caused Ibiki to leave him?  Would one day he do something that upset or hurt him, something that brought a terrible memory and he would decide he would be better off without him... "Remember, it's very important you let me know as soon as something is distressing."   
  
**Ibiki kissed him, he was astounded anew every time how very gentle and careful his beloved was with him.  "I will." It was a extraordinary feeling, someone treating him like he was... valued, cherished... loved. Someone to care about him and to stand beside him... unbelievable.  
**  
After a few more minutes of rest Ibiki rose to go shower, Jiraiya was uncertain, now that they'd returned to Leaf was he expected to immediately leave like before?  He had a room at the inn, just as before... Ibiki took his hand drawing him up and into his arms, "Will you shower with me?"

 

Jiraiya smiled and teased trying to hide his relief. "I'll do anything you like with you." Ibiki kissed him and they went in to shower.  
  
**Ibiki had seen Jiraiya's anxiety, it was sad, he expected to be sent away... just like Ibiki had cruelly done before. Ibiki soaped his hands and started washing Jiraiya, his thoughts distracted he didn't immediately realize his hands had been steadily moving down and now lingered just above Jiraiya's very prominent erection. Ibiki stared down at it for a moment, the all too familiar distress surging through him.**   
  
The seductive caress of his lover had his cock throbbing demandingly, but Jiraiya with held his whimpers and tried to calm himself. Ibiki didn't even realize where his hands had traveled, this was not an offer of 'stimulation'.  Ibiki was affectionately touching him and Jiraiya did not want him to feel like he was 'expected' to provide relief in anyway.   
  
**Ibiki looked up to meet his eyes, Jiraiya trembled, his hands at his side were clenched and Ibiki wondered how long he'd been teasing him while lost in thought... Jiraiya had remained still and quiet as he unconsciously tormented him... knowing he hadn't realized the placement of his hands Jiraiya had 'not reacted' as much as was humanly possible. Ibiki leaned in and kissed Jiraiya's throat, the barely audible whimper his lover gave was accompanied by the powerful the ripple of his muscles as he held back from moving.  
  
Ibiki took his hand and looked at the palm the deep indents from Jiraiya's nails as he clenched them answered the question.  Ibiki stroked the deep marks gently. "Why didn't you ask me to stop?"   
  
Jiraiya smiled. "I was enjoying your touch..." His eyes drifted down to his turgid organ.  "Perhaps a bit too much, but I will calm."  
  
Ibiki knew the real reason was his beloved hadn't wanted him to feel pressured.  "I want to touch you more... Will that be too great a tease?" He slipped his hands up to caress lightly over Jiraiya's hips, Jiraiya gasped and replied breathlessly. "It doesn't matter how much it arouses me, I want your touch... but only what you wish."   
  
Ibiki nodded, his hand one hand rested on Jiraiya's hip and he's other continued back to where it had rested before he'd realized he was teasing his lover, now fully aware of the fact his fingers rested above Jiraiya's erection.  He ran a slick finger down the shaft, his eyes rested on the engorged flesh as his fingers traced the length... How many cocks had slammed into his brutalized body... been forced in his mouth...  
  
"Koishii." Jiraiya soothed softly and then pleaded. "Can I please move?"  
  
This was the man he loved and yet the sight of his erection filled him with distress.  Ibiki dropped his hand and looked away his voice soft. "Yes."  
  
"Can I touch you?" Jiraiya asked gently.  
  
Ibiki nearly replied 'no'... he wasn't sure it was a good idea to touch him right now, but after drawing a deep breath trying to calm his out of control emotions, he nodded.  Jiraiya's touch was so light and adoring as he stroked his cheek, Ibiki was shocked anew at the compassion in his lover's touch, the understanding and comfort.  
**  
Jiraiya wanted to enclose Ibiki in his arms, cradle his beloved to him and give what comfort he could, but the fact his body had not yet calmed made that a very unwise thing to do.  Right now he wouldn't blame Ibiki for lashing out at the feel of his erection against him... the horrible despair in his eyes, they hurt him so badly, his body and his mind. "Ibiki. I love you so greatly.  I wish it was possible for me not to react to your touch when it is unwelcomed."   
  
**Ibiki gave a slight twitch of his lips in affectionate amusement, it was the best he could do at this moment. "That is unrealistic, I do not think anyone would be capable of choosing not to react physically to their lover's touch, I do not expect you to."  He drew a deep breath then carefully looked at Jiraiya keeping his gaze no lower than his chest.**

**"Jiraiya?"  Ibiki's dark eyes looked intently into Jiraiya's, "Why me?  Why would you want someone so damaged... someone who reacts with horror to just the sight of your aroused cock?"  
  
Jiraiya's loving eyes left no doubt he did want him, wanted his love.  "You cannot see how very extraordinary you are, how amazing, the strength you have displayed and continue to show every day.  Ibiki, you interrogate people... how many of them could have bared the abuse you suffered and continued to face it every day.  To have the strength to try to work past it and... Ibiki, you are so very wonderful, every touch you can accept a precious gift of trust from you when you've never been given any reason to trust... I'd do anything for you."   
  
Ibiki stepped forward embracing his Koishii to him.  It did not matter if his beloved was aroused, this man was so very precious to him, nothing he did was the same as the torture he'd endured.  Every understanding and accepting gesture brought peace and happiness. "Jiraiya, I can't be the man you deserve..."  
  
Jiraiya's devastated look brought a surge of protective adoration washing through Ibiki, he had meant that Jiraiya deserved so much more than what he could give at this time... and to continue on to tell him he would never stop trying to make each day better than the last just as he'd promised at the inn.   
  
Jiraiya thought he'd been tossed aside once more, yet he did not plead or give him hurt looks simply looked away to hide his despair and waited for him to say it.  Ibiki's voice was full of love as he corrected the misunderstanding. "I can't be the man you deserve but I will do all I can to make everyday special, to show you how greatly I love you."  
  
Jiraiya had tears in his eyes as his haunted gaze met Ibiki's and yet he reassured  him stroking his hand softly. "You are everything I want, everything I need, there could be no better man for me.  Please don't worry that you are not.  You are a treasure, I could not want anything more."  
**  
Jiraiya tried to banish his tears and calm himself, it was incredibly hard, his heart remained full of fear and beating rapidly.  Ibiki's caress was apologetic, Jiraiya knew it wasn't his fault... he just panicked, he was so used to the words followed by rejection and just panicked.  Jiraiya drew a calming breath and smiled gently. "I think I'm washed enough, would you like me to wash you?"  
  
**Ibiki knew he should say yes, his denial could easily be taken as a rejection... Jiraiya's gaze was adoring. "It's ok if you don't, I understand and will not be hurt."  
  
"No." Ibiki caressed Jiraiya's cheek as he looked into his extraordinary lover's eyes he swore he never wanted to lose him, Jiraiya was the beauty in his world, his source of joy.  "I love you Koishii."  
  
Jiraiya smiled.  "I love you... I should dry and go, you have work tomorrow and it would not be fair to keep you up late into the night."  
  
Ibiki nodded turning off the shower and following Jiraiya out, grabbing and tossing him a towel, his beloved seemed calm but he could still see the signs of stress, he'd frightened him badly. It was clear Jiraiya had 'damage' of his own and he needed to be more careful with his words. All those people who'd walked away, fools every last one of them, they could not see that they held the heart of the best man they could ever find and threw it away.   
  
As Jiraiya dressed he was still a bit more quiet than normal and his smiles strained, but Ibiki wasn't sure what to say to help. He blundered so easily, only seeing the way his words would be taken by Jiraiya after he hurt him... so he said only. "I wish to see you tomorrow, can we meet outside the ANBU building?  Will you come eat with me?" His words were a bit awkward but Jiraiya gave a genuine smile, "I would love to, would you like me to pick up anything?"  
  
Ibiki grabbed a paper and scribbled a quick list, "These, if you don't mind..." **

**Jiraiya's soft laugh was very reassuring, "As long as you wish to cook for me I will gladly get the ingredients. I will see you at 20:00."  
  
Ibiki drew Jiraiya to him and gave him a loving kiss, "I love you, now and always." Jiraiya's loving eyes, still held a touch of sadness. Ibiki nuzzled him placed a light kiss on his neck and reassured as best he could. "My Koishii."  
  
Jiraiya gave a soft, "Mmmm..." at the feel of his lips on his throat, then stepped back smiling playfully, "I need to go now or you won't be getting any sleep."   
  
Ibiki nodded and watched Jiraiya start down the road before closing the door.**  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya sat in his room looking at the few possessions he owned, just an outcast... a thrown away lover.  The horrific pain he'd felt what he thought Ibiki no longer wanted him was so unbearable... he wasn't sure how he was going to be able to go on when that day came.  The thought drew the tears back to his eyes and trailing down his face.  With every day that passed, every heavenly moment he spent beside Ibiki, the pain would continue to grow stronger and the end that much more devastating... Jiraiya wiped at his tears, a fools tears, they changed nothing. When the time came he would find away somehow to survive it... it's what he did, survive.  
  
Weary and quite depressed, he lay down trying not to think and waited for sleep to come.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Ibiki had caught up on the paperwork that had stacked up and now just sat reading over old files and scanning the patrol's reports from while he was gone.  His thoughts drifted to his beloved every so often and he remembered Jiraiya's comment on his mother's never cooking for him again.  This prompted him to began searching old records for information on Jiraiya's family, he knew he didn't have any remaining... all his family line was gone.  
**  
\----------------------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya saw his old boyfriend in the square, his former lover looked over at him then quickly away.  Was something wrong?  Maybe he could help solve whatever had the young man so distressed, Jiraiya walked over to him.  "Mikomi... is there something wrong?"  
  
Mikomi looked at Jiraiya nervously then around quickly before speaking. "Your... 'boyfriend' is dangerous!  I  swear he was going to kill me when he asked where you were... he thought we were dating again!"   
  
Jiraiya smiled reassuringly.  "Ibiki is not dangerous, he will not hurt you."  

 

The look Mikomi gave him was of strong disbelief, his distress unabated.  "Yes, well... I don't think I should be talking to you."   The young man looked back over his shoulder and flinched, his tone panicked as he insisted. "A patrol saw me!  Ibiki will hurt me, it's what he does!  He tortures people!"   
  
Jiraiya's eyes hardened, his calm demeanor vanished and his tone turned cold. "That was a bird, not a patrol and Ibiki does not 'torture people'.  He is the Head of ANBU and interrogation specialist.  If he was 'torturing' you, then you could be sure you deserve it." Mikomi's eyes widened as if he thought talking to him could be counted as 'deserving it'.

 

Jiraiya's tone was tinted with scorn.  "You would have to betray the Leaf Village and even then he wouldn't need to 'torture' you.  You are not strong enough to resist interrogation... every scar that man has was from resisting betraying the Leaf Village, he deserves your respect."  Jiraiya turned and walked away, he had nothing further to say.  
  
Mikomi was a fool who did not understand loyalty and commitment.  Jiraiya wouldn't tolerate people treating Ibiki like a monster, Mikomi had a better chance of being 'hurt' by him than he did of being hurt by Ibiki.  How could anyone think him a monster when he quietly put up with their cruelty day after day without protest?  

 

Mikomi was self-centered just like all the rest of his 'hundreds' of companions, they'd all been Angels or companions never before Ibiki did he have a partner, someone equal and strong... it was wonderful, so many things about his amazing Koishii were.   
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Ibiki scanned over the reports before filing them with the others, only one thing caught his attention, but it was something that motivated him to leave the office to go take care of it. His Koishii was upset when he was seen leaving the market area and he was going to find out why.**  
  
\-----------------------------------------  
  
Jiraiya leaned against the wall of the walking bridge looking over the village quietly, he was not so much angry at Mikomi as he was frustrated by the behavior of the villagers towards Ibiki.  This was his village, the place he'd suffered so greatly for... and they treated him like he was a rabid dog.   
  
"Jiraiya."  
  
Jiraiya was lost in thought so Ibiki's soft voice surprised him, he turned to look at Ibiki then smiled fondly.  "What brings you out of your office?"  
  
"You."  Ibiki replied calmly.   
  
Jiraiya was surprised. "Me?"   
  
Ibiki gave a brief nod. "I was concerned."   
  
Jiraiya smiled affectionately. "I am fine, but I cannot say I don't enjoy seeing you, it is a pleasant surprise."   
  
Ibiki's gaze still studied his eyes.  "My man on patrol said you were upset."   
  
Jiraiya smile faded. "Yes."  He debated on how much to say but left it at, "The villager's close minded behavior gets to me, but don't be concerned, I am fine."  
  
**Jiraiya's gaze was so wonderfully loving as he looked at him, Ibiki stroked his arm softly before dropping his hand once more. The surprise and pleasure on his beloved's face at the gesture melted his heart and for a moment it did not matter if he was in public.  "Koishii, I'm glad I will see you this evening."**   
  
Ibiki's adoring gaze made Jiraiya's whole world brighten, nothing mattered but this man's love. "I will come any time you wish me to."  
  
Ibiki's reserve dropped, his posture relaxing slightly.  "I'm going to make something special... I have a recipe that I haven't tried in a bit."   
  
Jiraiya gave a delighted smile. "I can't wait."  
  
**"It's wonderful to have someone to cook for, although my cooking is nothing very fancy..." His words were interrupted and the real world returned as a nin walking over the bridge, his head down as he fiddled with the book in his hand, nearly walked into Ibiki.  The Shinobi's head lifted.  "I'm sorry, I..." The man's face paled as he realized who he'd almost walked into and he backed up a step. "Sorry sir." The nin swiftly walked away back the way he'd come.  
  
Jiraiya sighed and looked away, then met Ibiki's now emotionless gaze with a gentle smile.  "I will be waiting outside the ANBU building when you come out." Ibiki gave a professional nod, his complete withdrawal was evident in his posture as well as every movement he made.  **  
  
As he walked by Jiraiya spoke, his voice warm with affection, but low enough that it would be private and not cause his beloved discomfort. "I love you."   
  
Ibiki looked at him, his eyes instantly warmed and he gently grabbed Jiraiya drawing him close and kissed him softly. "I will see you at 20:00." Then released him and walked calmly away.

 

 Jiraiya was stunned by his lover's actions, he gave a loving smile as he watched his Koishii.  Ibiki was so strong, in the face of all those who looked at him with distrust he'd lowered his guard to kiss him.  He'd never loved anyone like he did Ibiki, he'd thought he'd be able to go on once Ibiki left him, but the deeper his love grew for the incredible man the more he doubted it would be so easy as to just 'go on'.

 

The thought that he would need to terrified him... he could not 'stalk him', it would not be taken well by Ibiki, and he'd never be able to leave and not see him ever again... but that was what he'd have to do.   
  
\--------------------------------------------  
  
**Sitting back in his office he dwelled on his beloved for a moment, he hadn't needed to go to Jiraiya, he'd wanted to... it was stunning how many emotions that man stirred inside him. Jiraiya was an answer to a wish he hadn't known he was making... A strong, highly skilled man, an equal Ibiki could have stand beside him in danger and know he would never have to worry he had to protect him... someone he would not crush beneath him sexually... someone he could let his guard down with and not feel he was degrading himself by giving in... someone who wouldn't make him feel weak no matter what happened.  Someone to love who understood and accepted him, Jiraiya was everything he needed, everything he could ever want in a partner.  
  
He came to a decision, if he reacted to something he would try to always explain why to Jiraiya, facing it even in that limited way should help.  He'd never thought of ways to try to overcome his aversion to being touched much less any of the rest of it, there had been no need up until now, he hadn't desired anyone's touch.  Now he did and he needed to apply some of his understanding of human psyche to his own problems.**  
  
Jiraiya had a few hours before he would meet Ibiki and his thoughts were quickly turning more 'unpleasant' so he went to go see his friend.  Shizune pretended not to know what would happen but she knew as well as Jiraiya, Lady Tsunade would not be getting any more paperwork done today.   
  
Tsunade smiled as he entered, then hid it beneath a not very convincing 'professional demeanor', it was something she'd never be able to pull off.  When Jiraiya swung the door shut she relaxed and gave a disguised swipe at the scrolls sending one and a stack of papers to the floor.  "Came to rescue me?" _  
_  
Jiraiya grinned. "Yes... you know Shizune knows you're going to ditch."   
  
Tsunade gave a wicked smile and she put her finger to her lips.  "Shhh... you'll wreak our fun!" Then she hedged into a perfect copy of Kakashi and they leapt out the window and walked down the road towards the bars.   
  
The villagers and nin paid no attention to the two men.  In fact, the 'authentic' Kakashi didn't even pause as he walked by 'himself', just gave his usual lazy wave and kept going.  Tsunade looked back at him, then shrugged. "Well, he's usually hiding out somewhere and the only other nin I know that's rarely out at this time is Iruka, and I couldn't be Iruka... half the village would pass out if they saw him walking into a bar."   
  
Once in their usual bar she relaxed, dismissing the jutsu, and Jiraiya ordered the first of many bottles of sake.  Although he wouldn't be here long enough to drink that much, Tsunade would be... until Shizune came to get her.  Tsunade poured, "So how's Ibiki? Don't suppose you call him Angel..."

 

Jiraiya choked on his drink setting it down hard and laughing as he replied, "No... not Angel."   
  
Tsunade grinned at having made her friend choke, but asked, "Why did you call them all Angel?"   
  
Jiraiya gave a playful smirk. "Maybe it's because they were so heavenly in the bedroom..." He could see she wasn't buying it and teased, "Or maybe because there have been so many I couldn't remember their names..." that admission hurt but not as much as the horrible truth.  He lost his playful manner and replied seriously. "It's because even as I pin my hopes on them and give them by heart I know they'll fly away."   
  
Tsunade nodded and stroked his hand in understanding. "Ibiki truly loves you."   
  
Jiraiya smiled but there wasn't any of that happiness in his eyes. "Yes, for now he does... Tsunade, please don't be upset with him when he leaves me, it's just the natural way of things and he will not have done anything wrong."  
  
His oldest friend smiled sadly, she was like a sister to him and it hurt her along with him every time a relationship failed. "You don't think he'll stay."   
  
It was a statement not a question but Jiraiya replied, "No, he will not stay, but I have never loved anyone as deeply as I do Ibiki. It's going to hurt very badly, but I'll survive. It's important that you bear no hostility towards him for it... please."  
  
Lady Tsunade nodded, she wouldn't try to convince him he was wrong, she just prayed he was.  Ibiki didn't think he showed emotion but even a blind man could have seen the love in his eyes when he looked at Jiraiya. If it ended Jiraiya would only be one of the two men in deep pain.  
  
Jiraiya knew Ibiki would never be his 'Angel', Mikomi truly was his last Angel.  No this love was real and here in reality was where he would stay, he'd never be able to accept something so shallow ever again.  This was so much better... even if would be so much more painful when it ended.  
  
_\---------------------------------  
  
_ Jiraiya was walking to go meet Ibiki he was feeling very glum, as always when they were together he and Tsunade discussed the serious pale boy they'd known before he became a monster. They talked about missions they'd had as a team and once more speculated when everything had started to go wrong.  It had happened so gradually, no sudden event, he just slowly became harder to understand.  They'd thought he'd 'snap out of it', that he was just reserved... they'd made so many excuses to explain away all the little changes and missed the big picture.   
  
Jiraiya drug his thoughts from his memories as Ibiki came out of the building and smiled.  
  
**Ibiki was now looking forward to the day's end, always before he'd stay long after all work was done, occupying himself with old reports and unnecessary paperwork in an effort to not go back to his empty house.  There had been no reason to go home, but now... Ibiki almost smiled before catching himself.  Jiraiya could make him forget he was in public, under everyone's nervous scrutiny, just the sight of him made all that unimportant.  
  
Jiraiya joined him and they walked quietly towards his house. His Koishii seemed a bit sad but was making efforts to hide it so Ibiki didn't ask.  He'd wait, he was sure Jiraiya would talk about his troubles if he could.  
**  
Jiraiya fought to put the past out of his mind, this was not the time for those thoughts, late at night he had many hours to contemplate the past.  They arrived at the house and, as he had before, Jiraiya waited just inside the door for Ibiki to lead him to the kitchen. Ibiki began cooking while Jiraiya watched quietly, his past unable to be 'put away' it continued to haunt him.  
  
**Ibiki glanced over at Jiraiya, after his comment on not knowing it would be the last time his mother would ever cook for him he'd started wondering what had happened to Jiraiya's family.   He now knew that his clan had only consisted of Jiraiya and his family, the various wars and tragedies had caused their clan to dwindle in number until they were all that remained. "What happened to your family?" It was noticeably missing from all records, even as patchy as the records from that time were it still was very obviously covered up.  
  
Jiraiya's eyes darkened and his voice dropped slightly in evidence of his great distress. "Me... Orochimaru slaughtered everyone as retaliation for my 'betrayal', for not supporting him when it became clear what he was doing, killing our peers and doing experiments on bringing them back to life.  He said I needed some 'motivation', to know how it felt to lose the ones I loved and to wish to bring them back."   
  
Jiraiya gave a ragged sigh, "I had a little sister and my mother was going to give birth in a few days... a baby brother... he cut the murdered infant out and left it in her arms so I'd know what I'd lost." Jiraiya's resignation was clear, he still mourned but had accepted the loss long ago.   "The counsel covered it up just as they did all his atrocities, refusing to admit what they'd turned loose on the world..."  
  
Ibiki nodded, that was not unusual for the times, it was a bit harder to do now but they still tried burying things for the Leaf Villages 'best interest'.   They were not successful, Ibiki knew every move they made, everything was documented and there would be no denial of the things they did. **

**The terrible part was that if they'd sent ROOT after Orochimaru right away he would not have been strong enough to fight them off and would have been killed.  All the horrors he caused since the day he fled could have been prevented... and Ibiki was sure Jiraiya knew that his family would still be alive.  
  
Ibiki drew him up and held him, nothing changed the past and nothing he could say could help make it any better.  It just was... all he could do was offer comfort for his sadness now and understand.  Jiraiya stroked his cheek, leaned forward and whispered. "You're going to burn the food."  
**  
Ibiki looked back at the pan in surprise, "Yes, a few more minutes and it would have not been edible."  Jiraiya smiled, he was thankful for the comfort but it was his way of bringing things back to present and he was sure Ibiki understood that too.  
  
Jiraiya sat back down his thoughts dwelling in that dark place as he watched Ibiki.  He remembered the day vividly, but then most people did remember the tragedies in their life crisply, even though they wished they didn't.  
  
Orochimaru had met him in the forest when he was on the way back from a mission.  His former teammate's  words of betrayal and 'motivation' had sent a chill down his spine, but he'd never guessed, he'd never imagined him capable of such cold blooded slaughter.  
  
Tsunade had been in the village and was one of the first people to arrive when it was discovered.  She'd begged him not to go see, but he had been able to see in her eyes that she knew, even as she pleaded, that he would have to go see.  

 

Many times since that day she spoke of her guilt at not saving them, and many times he'd reassured that she couldn't have known, no one had. Until that moment they both thought Orochimaru could be 'saved', his life turned around and he would return to the Leaf village.  It was then that they knew all hope of redemption was lost, along with Jiraiya's family.  His entire bloodline had been wiped away because he hadn't seen what Orochimaru had become, he hadn't wanted to believe.  
  
It was important he put away those thoughts once more.  He didn't want Ibiki to feel he needed to deal with his pain, his beloved had far too much of his own to deal with.  
  
**Ibiki brought the food to the table but this time it was his beloved being haunted by the past. Knowing now how Jiraiya had lost everyone made his desperation to be loved even more tragic... and more understandable.**

**Ibiki stroked his hand softly and Jiraiya broke out of his thoughts giving him a smile that did not change the sadness in his eyes.  Ibiki wished he hadn't asked, his lack of socialization really showed at times like this. "I'm sorry. I should not have asked... at least not so bluntly."  
  
Ibiki's words drew a genuine smile.  "I do not mind you being straight forward..." Jiraiya's smile faded. "And you did not cause this memory to surface with your question, it and many other things of a not so pleasant nature are often discussed by Tsunade and I.  Today was one of those days."  
**  
In an effort to not only get away from his dismal thoughts of the past but also know more about the man he loved Jiraiya asked, "Tell me about your family... if it will not disturb you."   
  
Ibiki hadn't released his hand and his thumb stroked the palm as he spoke. "Hmmm... my parents had been villager's, not nin... although we are very distantly related to the Yamanaka clan, I couldn't really call them my clan.  Only I of my family tested positively for the Kekkei Genkai that is their clans bloodline trait, at that confirmation my parents 'encouraged' me towards becoming a nin... they were insistent I accept the honor of protecting the village.  Idate always wanted to do everything I did, he was determined to be a nin as well, as you know that did not turn out well.   
  
Living at the edge of the village my parents were one of the few 'civilian' casualties of Kyuubi's attack which only served to make Idate more determined.  He completely lacked the bloodline trait so it was harder for him, he tried to cheat and I'm sure I don't need to go into the results of his actions. What hurt more than being tortured was when I returned and found out Idate hadn't gone back to the Leaf village.  That he'd simply left me to be tortured and killed rather than go get help and face what he'd done."   
  
Jiraiya caressed his cheek, his eyes apologetic.  "Now  that was a blunder and I should have known better than to ask about your family."   
  
Ibiki shook his head. "Nothing I've said was brought out by your question, it was my choice to talk about the things I did.  I could have just said, my father was a grocer and my mother a seamstress, that she prided herself on growing all our own fresh vegetables in spite of my father being very capable of bringing home the freshest and best of his daily deliveries... something my mother loved teasing him about."   
  
Jiraiya smiled, "She was spirited?"

 

Ibiki gave an amused nod, "but they loved each other greatly."   
  
**Ibiki wished he had stuck to those things, the happiness on Jiraiya's face at the fond recollections was wonderful, seeing it he realized he dwelled too much on the negative.  He'd been haunted by the terrible things and had 'forgotten' so many of his good memories, shut them away along with the bad.  "You are very good for me."  
  
Jiraiya looked surprised and smiled. "I am glad."  His dark thoughts had been chased away by the pleasant memories Ibiki had provided and he looked apologetically at their now cold food. "Sorry..."   
  
Ibiki leaned in and kissed him.  "It can be reheated."  He rose taking both their plates and minutes later set the now hot food on the table once more.**  
  
  
\--------------------------------------  
  
**END PART 3**


	4. ... INTO HEAVEN OR INTO HELL (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PART 4)

**... INTO HEAVEN OR INTO HELL (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PART 4)**

 

_Over the last few weeks they had fallen into a wonderful routine, Jiraiya would meet his beloved outside of the ANBU building every evening Ibiki would cook and they'd spend the next few hours enjoying each other's company... yes that often included sex... lots of sex, but there was more.  They talked about all kinds of subjects learning what the other liked and disliked, it was surprising how similar their tastes were in many things._  
  
Today Jiraiya had bought a few different kinds of fruits to try that his Koishii had liked, and he hadn't tried, and a few that Ibiki hadn't tried that  he liked.  They could slice them up for dessert.  
  
**Ibiki took the last of the mission reports and started reading through it, by the time he'd finished he was more than a bit uncomfortable.  Although most wouldn't be able to tell he knew Jiraiya would see it, but it didn't matter since it was information he felt needed to be shared with him... Tsunade... Kakashi... well a good deal of people.**

**There was a rumor that Orochimaru had been seen... as in the man that was supposedly dead. This information would be very disturbing to quite a few of them... one of which was Jiraiya.**  
  
It was currently unsubstantiated... but still unwelcome news that there was even a  chance it was true.  He wasn't sure how his lover would react to hearing the man who slaughtered his family may still be wandering around out there somewhere.  
  
_Jiraiya could see there was something wrong the minute his partner stepped out of the ANBU building, anything that was bad enough for Ibiki to find it disturbing did not bode well.  Jiraiya walked over, there was tension in the air, whatever it was it wasn't something his beloved would wish to talk about in public._  
  
Ibiki regarded him grimly, "I have important news, we need to go see the Hokage."

_Jiraiya nodded seriously and they transported directly to her office, she opened her mouth to protest then her expression turned anxious. "What happened?"  She knew they would not have just appeared in her office if it wasn't extremely serious, and if that wasn't proof enough the look on her friend's face would have been._  
  
**Ibiki watched Tsunade's face but he was also 'watching' his partner.  He was a bit concerned that Jiraiya and Lady Tsunade still talked about where it had all gone wrong with Orochimaru, feeling guilty for things they did or didn't do.  That was harmless if he was dead, but if he wasn't then one of the two may feel compelled to go after him and 'do something' about it.  "One of my men came across some information that may indicate that Orochimaru is not dead."  
**  
_Jiraiya looked away, not because he had any desire to retreat from his beloved or Tsunade, or hide anything, it was just a huge revelation and he was rather stunned.  When his gaze returned to look at Tsunade her face was as grim as his own.  "It's not been confirmed, right?"_  
  
**Ibiki was relieved by his Koishii's words.  "No. Not confirmed."**

**Jiraiya looked at Ibiki somberly, but he wasn't 'leaping up' to try to go find him and Tsunade wasn't having a nervous breakdown.  Tsunade nodded, aside from the haunted look in her eyes and a slight paling she seemed to be taking the news as best as was possible in this situation.   Still he was glad he had Jiraiya with him, he was a steadying influence.   Her tone further evidenced the distress she tried to hide.   "I see... I expect you will let me know the minute you get more information."**  
  
"Immediately." Ibiki confirmed.

**She nodded.  "You two go, there is nothing to be done until we get more information."**  
  
_Jiraiya didn't buy her calm acceptance, he walked forward and took her hand. "We will deal with it if it turns out to be true, try not to let it haunt you."_

_She nodded and gave him a grateful smile.  "Yes."   She looked quite a bit calmer as Jiraiya released her hand and returned to his lover's side.  "You two get out of here..."_  
  
**Jiraiya gave her an affectionate smile. "We'll talk tomorrow."**

**She nodded and just watched as they left.  As soon as the door was closed, Ibiki saw his partner immediately pause beside Shizune.  " _He_ may be back, she needs you, don't leave her alone tonight."  Shizune nodded.**  
  
_Jiraiya didn't need to say who 'he' was, there was only one 'he' that would cause everyone to look so haunted.  Although Shizune had paled, she simply nodded and as they walked away she calmly gathered up the paperwork on her desk, put it in a drawer and walked in to Tsunade's office closing the door._  
  
**Ibiki nodded, he'd suspected it for a long time but it hadn't really mattered enough to investigate.  The look in Shizune's eyes confirmed it, she loved Tsunade and he had no doubt they were partners.  Although he didn't outwardly show it, he was glad the Hokage had someone.**  
  
_The two men quietly walked to Ibiki's house, just as they always did, and once inside the house Jiraiya went into the kitchen and placed the fruit on the counter. His lover had gotten used to his coming and he was able to move freely, still he rarely went anywhere in the house that Ibiki wasn't there also._

_Jiraiya caressed his Koishii's cheek tenderly. "Was there anything you'd like me to do to help prepare the meal?"  He still felt very off balance, Orochimaru... alive._

_Ibiki stroked his hand and Jiraiya's gaze returned to meet his partner's._  
  
"Are you... well 'ok' is a relative term and of course you not ok..." Ibiki seemed to be at a loss, not knowing what to say to find out how he was feeling.

_Jiraiya stroked his face again and soothed. "Don't worry, if it's true we'll figure out something."_  
  
"Yes." Ibiki replied some of the tension seeping from his posture.   
  
**Jiraiya looked surprised as he embraced him and gave him a loving kiss.  Ibiki was so relieved, he wasn't sure exactly what he'd expected him to do, but handling it calmly was not even on the list.**

**Ibiki nuzzled his lover's throat as he held him. "I think you are incredible... every day you astound me with how wonderful you are.  I love you."**  
  
Jiraiya smiled. "I love you... If you keep nuzzling me like that I will wish to have something in my mouth but it won't be your food."   
  
Ibiki laughed.  "That doesn't sound too bad, may have to risk it."  But he turned and began gathering the ingredients he'd need, as his partner watched, then gladly started cooking.  
  
_Jiraiya had stopped offering to help for the most part.  He could see his Koishii really enjoyed himself, it wasn't a chore but almost an art form with him, the colors and textures visually appealing as well as delicious.  Sometimes it was almost a shame to eat them they looked so spectacular, but the fact they were delicious over ruled that resistance.  "You have an amazing talent."  Jiraiya commented._

_Ibiki shrugged, "I wanted to be a chef at Shushuya... but I tested positive for the Kekkei Genkai."_

  
Jiraiya understood, the expectations of his parents, loyalty to the village and after his parent's deaths the need to honor them.  Life didn't always go the exact path you hoped, which called to mind the foolish dreams he'd had as a child that Orochimaru, Tsunade and he would be together as a team and friends forever.  Well he'd been partly right, he and Tsunade were friends.  He held no such foolish thoughts of brotherhood or friendship with Orochimaru, it had taken many great losses including his family, but now he saw him for the sick monster he'd become.  Like a rabid beast there was no cure, only peace brought by his death and the knowledge it was over... but now there was a chance it wasn't over.   
  
**Ibiki could feel his lover's distress, but he would not push, he would talk when he was ready... it did not take long.  Jiraiya's serious tone immediately drew his full attention, his Koishii's eyes were dark in sadness, but accepting... and concerned. "I am glad I was there when you told Tsunade.  She tried to accept it calmly but she holds a great deal of guilt... she had loved him throughout our Chunin years and she feels that she should have seen what was happening."**  
  
Ibiki nodded, then walked over and caressed his face. "Yes, I think that was for the best you were there."  After giving his beloved a gentle kiss he returned to cooking but his attention was focused on 'watching' Jiraiya, listening to his breathing patterns and how he moved.

**His lover wasn't as relaxed about the news as what it seemed, but he also was not going to rashly run off after the rumor.  He was a strong, patient, and intelligent man.  Ibiki felt blessed to have him.  When he was able to walk away from the food without danger of burning it he went over to sit near Jiraiya and took his hand.  "I understand if this haunts you, I promise as soon as I have more concrete information I will let you know."**  
  
_Jiraiya gave his partner a loving smile.  "I know you will.  I cannot promise that it will not be on my mind, and my thoughts in the past, but I will handle it."_

_Ibiki drew him up embracing him tenderly._ "We _will handle it.  I wish to hear your thoughts and feelings, you are not alone."_

_Jiraiya stroked his face, as he replied, "Tsunade and several others will be very upset if it's true. I'm very lucky to have you beside me, I couldn't think of a better person to understand and support me."_  
  
**Jiraiya's absolute faith was almost enough to bring tears to Ibiki's eyes, it was stunning how much he loved this man and for him to have this level of belief in him... it was astounding.  "Jiraiya, I don't ever want to lose you, you are the most precious thing in my life."**  
  
Jiraiya smiled and embraced him.  "I feel the same..."  Then he drew back and reassured. "You won't lose me, as long as you want me I will always be here."  
  
_Jiraiya tried not to dwell on the news and enjoy the meal when it was served but it was very hard and the concern in his partner's eyes let him know he'd lapsed into silence too many times.  Ibiki looked uneasy as he cleaned up and Jiraiya knew why. "Ibiki, don't feel bad... I understand."_

_His Koishii wanted him to stay, to be able to comfort him as Shizune was doing for Tsunade, but they hadn't tackled that problem yet._  
  
**He knew it was not safe for Jiraiya to try to sleep beside him.  Although he'd made progress in being comfortable with his lover being in his house, the issue of his dreams made progress in that area much more difficult.  He really did wish to hold him, the idea of having his body against his was a nice concept but not practical... there was absolutely no doubt in either of their minds that he would try to kill him.  
**  
_Jiraiya embraced him carefully, from behind, cautious not to press his body against Ibiki's.  It was difficult still for him to even bear the light touch of a body against his vulnerable back and his muscles flexed as he attempted not to react._  
  
**Ibiki was aware this wasn't just a random act, but a demonstration, that Jiraiya would be able to even loosely hold him from behind would have been inconceivable in the beginning and yet they had gotten to this point.  
**  
_They had really come so much further than his extraordinary partner was giving himself credit for, although currently Jiraiya would not even think of attempting this if there was any chance he was going to get aroused... so it did not happen often.  After a brief second he dropped his arms and stepped back, as always Ibiki turned around embracing him lovingly and kissing him softly. "Jiraiya... I really wish I could sleep beside you."  
  
Jiraiya smiled.  "I know, it's ok.  I am fine... truly."  He was happy that they were making progress although a bit slowly on the very large issue of being touched from behind.  Being touched from behind was a difficult thing for a  lot of nin and twice as much for his Koishii after the horrors the Rain nin had commit on him.  Jiraiya nuzzled his ear and whispered. "Thank you for letting me hold you." Ibiki cupped his face kissing him passionately. _  
  
**"Jiraiya..." There was so much he wanted to say but he lacked the words, every time his partner was grateful for him trying something it filled him with such a strong love. "I have been truly blessed, you have no idea how greatly I love you but I will try to show you every day." His beloved understood and accepted all his limits, accepted what he could give and it was only because of this loving acceptance that Ibiki had made such progress toward 'rediscovering' pleasures that were lost to him.  Being touched or held and feeling loved not aggression... it was still difficult, but also many times wonderful.**  
  
_Jiraiya was thrilled every time his Koishii trusted him to embrace him from behind, it was such an immense gesture of trust, sleeping beside him was a long way off but he could wait.  Hopefully it would happen before Ibiki tired of him, it would be a beautiful memory to dwell on late at night after he was alone again, a memory that would be cherished even though it would be painful._  
  
**Ibiki stroked his lover's palm, "I'd like to lay and hold you..."**

**Jiraiya smiled lovingly as Ibiki lead him in and they lay on the bed.  Ibiki softly stroked him, he wanted this; to be free to fall asleep in his beloved's arms or to cradle his Koishii to him as they fell asleep.  His partner's light touch as his hands rested on his mid back felt good, it no longer brought any anxiety.**

**As he lay beside his lover he thought on the progress they'd made.  They were working on Jiraiya resting his hands on his hips occasionally.  His beloved still waited for him to place them there and that eased so much of the tension because when he choose to he was prepared, on days he couldn't handle it he did not move Jiraiya's hands. Although he'd said his Koishii could touch him, his partner only touched his face throat upper chest and above the waist in back, nowhere alarming without his placing his hands there or encouraging him and even then he was very cautious... who would ever believe someone could be so patient, so sensitive and understanding.  Yes they were making progress, slowly he would reach a point where this would be possible.**  
  
  
When it got late and both men grew tired, Jiraiya kissed him tenderly and rose. "You need to get some sleep, I will see you tomorrow. " Ibiki nodded he rose and walked to the door with him.  His Koishii gave him an affectionate caress then turned and walked down the road.  He watched him for a few minutes before closing the door. Every time Jiraiya would leave he would get the desire to call him back...   
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------

**Ibiki sighed, the evidence was getting stronger.  There had been people who'd talked of seeing a man who looked like Orochimaru, long after the time when he was believed to be dead.  He had wanted to be absolutely sure before adding to Jiraiya and Tsunade's distress, but this was too strong of evidence to hold back from them.**

 

_Jiraiya was uneasy, over the last few days Ibiki had been a bit withdrawn.  His partner's request to come into the ANBU Building and to his office was a sure sign something serious was going to happen.  And the fact he hadn't wished to talk at his house... Jiraiya was afraid he knew what... his Koishii had found someone new... he'd reached his 'expiration date'.  Still he attempted to look calm as he asked, "Is everything ok?"_

_Ibiki shook his head, "No... Jiraiya come sit we need to talk."_

_A chill rushed through him, how many lovers had said that or something similar right before telling him 'it wasn't working out' between them..._

 

**Jiraiya looked very alarmed and Ibiki doubted that would change when he told him, although the reason for his distress would change.   He caressed his beloved's face "Koishii I'm not leaving you.  I just got some very serious information today and I'm not sure how you are going to react to it."**

**Instead of relaxing at the reassurance, Jiraiya's posture had steadily grown more rigid.  Although it had been weeks since the first unconfirmed report, Ibiki could see the knowledge in his eyes.  He held his partner's hand as he confirmed Jiraiya's fears, yes it was meant to comfort but also out of fear of him rushing off, he wanted more information before trying to work out a course of action.**

**"It's becoming more certain Orochimaru is alive, we are getting stronger evidence, I sent a report to Lady Tsunade... it's nothing absolute yet..." absolute or not he knew Orochimaru was alive and Jiraiya would too after he told him what was in the report.  "but the information we got was... not good.  He may have 'emptied' a village, no adult men's bodies were found but there wasn't a single person still alive in it when the merchant came through."**

**Ibiki saw his beloved had caught the distinction in his words.**

**"No men's bodies... but women and children's."  He reiterated softly.**

**Ibiki nodded, he was not looking forward to the next question but he knew it would come.**

**"Why do you believe it was him?"  Jiraiya asked quietly, his eyes now looked haunted.**

**Ibiki stroked his hand.  "All the females were killed but the only mutilated bodies were the pregnant females."**

**Jiraiya looked away, his voice soft and hoarse.  "There were unborn infants... cut from their mothers but placed in the mother's arms."**

**Ibiki wished he could say no, but answered truthfully. "Yes."**

**Jiraiya looked sick.  "You know it's a 'message' to me,  he wants me to know he's alive."**

**Ibiki nodded quietly, it was very evident Orochimaru was taunting Jiraiya.  "Koishii, we need more information before we can decide how to handle it."**

**Jiraiya met his eyes. "I really need to talk to Tsunade, I know she's not doing well."**

**There was no doubt Tsunade would be highly upset by the report.  Ibiki stroked his palm with his thumb lightly. "I would like to come along but I don't believe I should be away from the ANBU building when such important information is coming in."**

 

**Jiraiya caressed his cheek. "Thank you, but I think you should stay here as well, you are needed here."**

**Ibiki nodded, he wanted to ask if he would come by later, they could not leave to go eat but...**

**"Jiraiya..."  he had no idea what to say, 'be careful' was redundant.  There was a chance, although slim, that he would be in danger since it was obvious Orochimaru had an interest in him... but Jiraiya did not need a warning, he was well aware of the possibility of Orochimaru trying something.  There really was nothing to say but, "I love you.  I am here if you wish to talk."**

**Jiraiya nodded, gave him a gentle kiss and stroked his cheek tenderly.  "I love you so very much.  I'm sorry, I have to go now."  Ibiki nodded, he knew his compassionate Koishii was worried about Tsunade, still he was very uneasy as his partner walked out the door.**

 

_Jiraiya felt a strong surge of sorrow, he'd known, from the minute the unconfirmed report came in... Tsunade and he had both known.  They had talked about him, worried about what he was doing, what horrors he was committing._

_Jiraiya made the hand signs and appeared in her office, he wasn't surprised to see her eyes red and puffy from crying.  Quickly he gathered his friend in his arms rubbing her back and soothing.  "There was nothing we could have done... we had no idea where to look for him, but now we do."  He hugged her close. "Everything is going to be ok I promise, he won't kill anyone else."_

_His gentle embrace calmed her she drew a deep breath and pulled back.  Jiraiya released her and she wiped at her face further reddening the chapped skin.  It hurt him very much to see her in pain.  "Where is Shizune?"_

_"She'll be back in a minute, she went to go get Kakashi and the others, we want to keep this quiet for as long as possible... sending out a summons to all of them would have alerted all the rest of the nin that something was going on."  She drew a ragged breath and rubbed at her eyes again and the red puffy skin resumed its natural color, although the skin was now 'healed' and not chapped, nothing could change the pain in her eyes._

_Jiraiya nodded.  "I need to go now... Tsunade, everything will be ok I promise."  The distraught woman nodded numbly as she sank down in her chair._

_Jiraiya performed the hand signs and appeared well outside the sight of the village gate, it was important he get this done, it couldn't wait any longer._

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It wasn't until after the meeting with Kakashi, and the other people that Orochimaru's reappearance would directly effect, that Tsunade thought on Jiraiya's reassurances... _'we had no idea where to look for him, but now we do'... 'Everything is going to be ok I promise, he won't kill anyone else'... 'I need to go now...'_

"No!"  She howled and leapt up, flashing through the hand signs.   Shizune came running in as she disappeared.

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up hiding his surprise, but his heart dropped to the floor as Shizune ran in. "Lady Tsunade just transported somewhere, she was upset!"**

**Ibiki swore loudly grabbed his weapons pouch and ran out the door toward the gate. _'I'm sorry, I have to go now.'_   He didn't think Jiraiya would do it, but he should have known he would.  His beloved was selfless and compassionate, it was not a rash decision he'd thought it through and choose to risk his life to save the countless people who would die in the future if Orochimaru wasn't stopped... but he wasn't going to let him die.  He wouldn't lose his Koishii, he couldn't go back to existing without really being alive, nothing but a tool.**

**Tsunade stood at the gate as he ran up.  Ibiki barked, "Don't try to stop me, you will have to kill me."**

**Tsunade shook her head, her face damp with tears, she looked tortured. "Don't let him die Ibiki."**

**Ibiki ran past her out the gate, he was going to give everything he had to grant that wish.  Without Jiraiya there was no purpose to continue, he had people trained to take over, he was non-essential and if the vile bastard had killed his precious Koishii he wouldn't stop until either Orochimaru or himself were dead.**

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Once again Jiraiya had broke his word, he was sure Ibiki was upset by his leaving, but with the confirmation that Orochimaru was alive he needed to go.  Tsunade was Hokage, she could not go and only he and Tsunade had the strength to fight him...  Although he wouldn't have let her go even if she wasn't the village leader._

_The sick fiend was a 'legendary Sannin' as well... very powerful, no one else could do this.  He could not be allowed to continue to live, there was no telling what horrors he'd caused since his 'death'.  He'd had free rein, no one looking for him... it all needed to end as it should have so long ago._

_The 3rd Hokage should have never lost his life fighting him... Orochimaru was so insane he killed Hiruzen Sarutobi... their sensei, the man who practically raised him.  If he and Tsunade had only gone after Orochimaru after he slaughtered his family... no, he was already so mad.  He and Tsunade were not cold blooded as Orochimaru, they would have hesitated and died._

_Orochimaru had caused so much suffering for so many, he had to kill him even if it took his death to do it... he would finish what their Sensei started, this time the Reaper Death Seal would not fail to take him._

_It may take a few days to track him but now he knew what area he was in, and Orochimaru would not get away._

_Jiraiya traveled swiftly, both in desperate need to stop his former teammate from committing further atrocities and in the desire not to think of his incredible Koishii and Tsunade.  He hated hurting them, but this was the only sure way._

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki traveled as fast as he could but as skilled as he was the only thing that kept him on Jiraiya's track was the knowledge of where the Sannin was headed and even still there wasn't a chance he'd catch up to him.  The one thing he was grateful for was that Tsunade had not followed him, he was proud of her strength in staying in the village, her commitment to the village was very honorable.  He knew how badly she wanted to go after Jiraiya, he'd seen the desperation in her eyes and yet she'd stopped herself.**

**Ibiki was exhausted, finally forced to stop it agonized him that as he did his beloved was getting further away, he couldn't think about Jiraiya finding Orochimaru.  He prayed he'd get there before he did but that was very unlikely.**

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_He smelled the taint of 'copper' in the air while he was still a good distance from it so it was without surprise that Jiraiya found yet another desecrated village.  Orochimaru had known he was coming...  He'd left him a 'gift', she looked so very much like his mother had, he'd dressed the poor woman in clothes that were identical to what they'd found his mother in when she was murdered, her stomach sliced open and the unborn infant boy cradled in her arms..._

_It was likely it wasn't actually her baby, but it didn't matter, only that every pregnant female was killed and butchered.  This time ten women had lost their lives, six infants... twins, and at least 10 children had also needlessly died.  There was no way of knowing what horrors Orochimaru was committing on the men.  It was a very ominous sign that not a single man's body had been found in either of the two of the previous known sites of his massacres... and not a single one here either._

_Jiraiya sighed, his heart heavy with grief as he carried the murdered woman, infants and children into one of the houses.  He couldn't just leave them to be ravaged by the animals of the land, it took very little time to place the helpless victims in the house.  Jiraiya lit the house on fire and sat watching it burn, his vision burred by tears for all those he'd failed to save, from the state of the bodies it had been no longer than 12 hours... if he'd only gotten here faster._

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki saw the smoke and headed towards it, it was an irrefutable sign something had happened or was happening there.  When he arrived it was to see a home devoured in flames but that barely registered when he saw the man sitting on the ground nearby, his head bowed as he cried, mournful eyes lifted to meet his.  "I was too late."**

**Ibiki gratefully gathered his beloved in his arms.  "I'm sorry Koishii." He kissed his brow, he was so very grateful to find him alive.**

**After a few more minutes, the fierce blaze had consumed the structure, only the rubble remained.  Jiraiya stood, his sorrow now turned to anger.  "We are no more than 16 to 20 hours behind him."**

**Jiraiya's gaze was fierce as he started walking the perimeter of the village, found the trail and started out as Ibiki followed.  He understood and accepted his partner's rage, it was an understandable reaction to his grief at being too late to save the villagers.  It would do no good to point out that he couldn't have arrived any faster... and that Orochimaru would have only chosen another town further away if he had been anywhere close enough to stop the annihilation of the village.**

**He realized it the terrible truth at the same time as Jiraiya and his partner's loud curse was a echo of the words in Ibiki's heart.  The trail lead back towards the Leaf village, without variance and Orochimaru was traveling fast.  Jiraiya looked back at him, his eyes were dark and angry, but it was at himself.  "I fell for the bait.  It was meant to draw me away from the village, there's something there he wants... I was such a fool not to see it."  Ibiki could see a hint of panic in the fearsome Sannin's eyes, "Tsunade is there..."**

**Jiraiya started racing back the way they'd come.  Ibiki was having difficulty keeping up but that wasn't what was bothering him.  "Jiraiya!"  Ibiki was concerned, his lover was pushing himself too hard, yes he'd get there fast, but he was going to be exhausted.  His beloved paused looking back at him.**

**Ibiki grabbed him and held him a moment, and this time it wasn't Ibiki that was rigid in stress, "Calm, we'll get there and deal with whatever the situation is.  You can't exhaust yourself rushing there, trust Lady Tsunade, she can handle him until we get there."**

**Jiraiya drew back, he looked a great deal calmer although with what he'd seen no one would be expected to be calm, that too maybe exactly what Orochimaru was counting on.**

 

_Now calmed slightly it was obvious Orochimaru was driving him to a frenzy so he wouldn't stop to think things through, so far he'd played right into his hands, but not no more.  "I have a faster way."  Jiraiya whipped out a scroll, "Hope you have nothing against toads."  It was meant to be a light humorous comment but nothing seemed light or humorous about any of what was going on._

_He summoned Gamakichi._

_"Hey Jiraiya..." Gamakichi's airy greeting was halted as he saw his face._

_"Get me to the Leaf village as fast as possible.  Orochimaru's going to attack it." Although Jiraiya was trying to control his panic he was not being very successful._

_"The dead guy, damn, get on."_

_Jiraiya grasped Ibiki's hand and drew him up on the massive toad beside him._

 

**His beloved still looked extremely upset but tried to joke, "Tsunade will have pounded him to a fine paste by the time we get there."**

**Ibiki wasn't certain what was going to happen but knew he'd find out in seconds, what happened it was distressing but extraordinary, in the space of a breath they appeared on the slope outside of the Leaf Village.**

 

_"Thank you Gamakichi." Jiraiya was grateful his Koishii had been there, he'd have wasted so much time traveling... he wouldn't be too late this time like he had been for the village.  Gamakichi gave a sharp nod and disappeared._

_"The Toads have an immense amount of chakra and Gamakichi is very familiar with Konoha." Jiraiya stated as he ran towards the village and Ibiki followed.  The rainbow that was seen against the monument was an ominous sign, rainbows symbolized snakes, and foretold of evil... Orochimaru was near._

_As the two men ran up to the gate, Kotetsu sounded alarmed. "You just came through Master Jiraiya."  He wasn't stupid and neither was his partner, Isumo grabbed a passing Genin. "The gate has been breached..." The boy vanished to give the alert.  Neither of the nin on guard were foolish enough to be lured away from the gate, Orochimaru may have others near that planned to take advantage of the chaos._

_"Where did I  say I was going?" Jiraiya demanded his heart beat rapidly and it wasn't from the run, his distress spiked at the young nin's reply. "To see the Hokage."  Jiraiya shot Ibiki a glance._

 

**Ibiki nodded, he would go to her incase, it was unlikely  that Orochimaru had told the truth but it was a chance they couldn't take.  When he disappeared, he knew his Koishii would go looking for Orochimaru... that was very upsetting but couldn't be helped.**

**Ibiki appeared in Tsunade's office, she looked up her relief turned to despair, "Jiraiya..."**

**"Is fine.  Orochimaru is in the village." She nodded, she looked both angry and frightened, she cared about everyone in the Leaf Village, but as greatly as she wished to go find Orochimaru and kill him, her 'job' was to stay safe.  Kakashi appeared along with several ANBU, Ibiki received a nod from him... they had her covered, he needed to go help his partner.**

 

_Jiraiya frowned his mind racing, he couldn't just run in circles... what could he possibly want?  Could he need something... a scroll?  If so that was covered, Ibiki's men would be there guarding the room the minute they got the alert the gate was breached... what else... what did he still have here he needed?_

_Suddenly he was sure it had to be something his former teammate been forced to leave behind when he fled from the third Hokage.  Jiraiya ran towards the lower levels of the Administration Building... in a way Orochimaru wasn't lying.  If he was right the evil Sannin was several levels below ground 'in' the same building as Tsunade.  He hoped it wasn't something Orochimaru could use as a weapon._

_Just being down there knowing the atrocities they'd found when Orochimaru had escaped was alarming.  He had no idea what alerted him but he looked off to the side, there wasn't supposed to be a room there.  Carefully he slipped inside, quiet or not Orochimaru saw him.  "Jiraiya... did you enjoy my gifts?" He cruelly laughed.  "I was feeling a little nostalgic..."  his smile disappeared as Jiraiya drew a scroll he knew all too well.  "I see... you ready to fight for all eternity Jiraiya?"_

_"Yes."  Jiraiya's immediate answer was met with silence.  He knew Orochimaru was trying to find a way to get past him, if he came in reach his end was guaranteed.  Jiraiya would hold him as the monster consumed their souls, but if he waited it would end the same.  He was summoning the Reaper it would be too late soon, "Jiraiya... you know you don't want to do this... what about your new lover?"  Jiraiya was not surprised or dissuaded by Orochimaru's knowledge.  "He'll understand."_

 

**"Jiraiya stop!" Ibiki knew that scroll, if he summoned it nothing could change the outcome, the summoner died along with his enemy trapped in 'hell' together in the belly of the demon.  Jiraiya replied quietly, "It has to end."**

**Orochimaru taunted, "Looks like he don't 'understand'."  Neither of the Leaf nin were paying any attention to his words and Orochimaru tried to edge closer to the door, the proximity of the scroll to the exit was a threat that he needed to pass quickly.  Ibiki saw him edging closer hoping to dash quickly by, he pitched a kunai at him that, even deflected, came close to embedding in his foot, and halted Orochimaru's progress as he continued reasoning with Jiraiya.  His words since he'd arrived had suspended the activation, but one gesture from his beloved and it would be complete.**

 

_In spite of his words to Orochimaru, knowing his Koishii would see him taken by the demon had stilled his hands, but he had no other choices, he couldn't summon a toad... and he couldn't let Orochimaru escape.  Jiraiya lifted his hand to make the last sign when he felt the arrival of others behind him. The whisper soft voice accompanied a gesture and Jiraiya stood watching a black cloud of insects stream from one of the men behind him, then the kikaichū  covered Orochimaru... there wasn't a chance of even the evil Sannin surviving the complete loss of all his chakra.  Shibi Aburame stood quiet and unmoving as his beetles consumed the last.  Orochimaru's body laying prone upon the floor still didn't satisfy Jiraiya, this time he wanted to know it was over. _

 

**Ibiki watched as the kikaichū returned to under Shibi Aburame's jacket and Jiraiya walked up to examine the body.  Then he looked over at Ibiki, "The man is dead, but I want to be sure it was him..." Ibiki nodded, his team would cover every aspect, they would compare genetics and determine if it was truly him.**

 

_In spite of the body's appearance Jiraiya had a strong feeling it was not Orochimaru, he'd been too easy to catch and kill.  He rose, his eyes serious, "Continue as if he's loose in the village."  Ibiki nodded, his men and Shibi Aburame disappeared to go search._

_Jiraiya shook his head, "I maybe over reacting but something doesn't feel right, it really does look like him, it definitely acted like him..."_

 

**Ibiki understood, "The missing men."  Jiraiya nodded.  Ibiki drew him into a tight embrace before releasing him, his partner looked surprised by the gesture but Ibiki's words left no doubt he was upset by what he'd been about to do.  "Jiraiya I will follow you, no matter where you go."**

 

_Jiraiya shook his head and sighed softly, "Ibiki I had to do it... he can't be allowed to live."_

_Ibiki didn't speak but he didn't have to, Jiraiya could see it in his eyes, he was serious... he'd have let the Reaper take him as well.  He handed the scroll to Ibiki, his lover would place it with the other forbidden scrolls.  He would need to find another way, his beloved had already lived through hell, he wasn't going to let him spend eternity in one._

 

**Ibiki placed the scroll in his vest, as much as he didn't wish to leave Jiraiya for a moment after that fright, the room needed to be secured, the forbidden scrolls that littered the floor locked away.  Reluctantly he performed the hand signs and disappeared.**

 

_Jiraiya leaned back against the wall, he was so weary, the constant stress now that his adrenaline was ebbing dulled his senses... but not enough to mask a very alarming arrival.  Jiraiya suddenly straightened._

_"Jiraiya... I'd say long time no see but... well I'm sure you know I have more than this one body.  I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot of me..."_

_Jiraiya saw his partner's arm come around the pale throat drawing his Kunai quickly across.  Orochimaru fell clutching at his throat blood spraying from the wide gash while Ibiki coldly watched, "You have one less."_

 

**ANBU appeared, Ibiki waved to the scrolls and duplicate Orochimaru.  "Two bodies, about 20 scrolls, strip the place search everywhere he may have more hidden."  He walked over to the first body and pulled the scroll from his hand, "I'm sure this was not the one he was after."**

 

_Jiraiya agreed, but the question they needed the answer to was if the scroll was there at all or if it was a diversion.  "Multiple bodies... I need to brief the Hokage on what the situation is."  Ibiki's gaze was intent, Jiraiya gave him an apologetic look, "No more death pacts."  He gave a sharp nod, disappearing once more._

_Ibiki may appear stony faced to everyone else but Jiraiya saw his fear of losing him in his eyes, no he would not be sacrificing himself if it could be avoided.  The only reason the first Orochimaru clone had 'fought' to stay alive was that he hadn't wanted them to know there was more than one 'him'.  He'd hoped they'd all relax and no longer be on alert giving him plenty of time to retrieve the scroll and anything else he desired from right under their noses... but that plan had failed and Jiraiya was certain he had many more nasty surprises waiting._

_He continued further down the passage, he had not yet reached the place the 3rd Hokage had found Orochimaru and his gruesome experiments._

_"Ah Jiraiya, why do you plague me so... I've just come to claim what's mine."  The dark-haired man smiled, but it was not as much a greeting as a further taunt._

_"Orochimaru... what are you after?" Jiraiya studied him and concluded it was yet another clone._

_Jiraiya's 'former teammate' laughed, "Now if I told you it would wreak the game... and I'm having so much fun, aren't you?"_

_"No."  Jiraiya answered flatly._

_The evil man smiled, "Maybe we'll need to make it more interesting... Tsunade is looking good hmm?  Wonder if she'd enjoy a visit from an old friend..."_

_"You'll never get to her."  Jiraiya had no doubt, there would be no way he could get to her, no matter what he did.  Tsunade was safe._

_Orochimaru smirked. "I don't need to, do I?  She'll come to me..."_

_Jiraiya stiffened, "You have Shizune."_

_"You've become a quick one... not the dimwitted fool you once were, you can thank me later."  Jiraiya's kunai embedded in the man's chest and he dropped to the floor dead.  The bodies bled and died, they were killing the poor men that had been taken from the villages but Jiraiya didn't have time to care, he needed to get to Tsunade, she couldn't risk herself._

_Jiraiya flew through the hand signs and appeared outside the door to Tsunade's office.  The ANBU that was instantly beside him would have slit his throat if he hadn't been immediately recognizable, Kakashi would not hesitate, as it was he did not relax his guard.  "You are sure she's in there?"  He snapped at one of the ANBU, Kakashi lowered his weapon as Ibiki stepped forward to stand before him. "Yes"._

_"Watch her and don't let her out, he has Shizune."  Jiraiya stated and Ibiki disappeared, no doubt to Tsunade's side.   Jiraiya knew he would not let her out of his sight, and she would not succeed in getting out to find Shizune._

 

**Ibiki had more than just advanced skills... he understood how other's minds worked, she wouldn't risk herself... although it was possible she would if it was only the village, love did odd things.  He had been willing to go into the Reaper with Jiraiya... but it was more than the village.  Tsunade wouldn't take the chance that she wouldn't be used against the ones she loved and if Orochimaru caught her the entire village would be powerless against him.  He could do anything and no one would stop him, no one would risk her getting hurt.**

**Ibiki was blunt, "Orochimaru has Shizune."  As she leapt to her feet, he calmly directed, "We'll get her, but you have to stay here."**

**"I need to go, I can get her back from him!" She looked frantic, a feeling he understood very well now, the desperation to protect the one you love... to not lose them.**

**Ibiki shook his head, "You know you can't do that... if he gets you to come he won't have any further use for her, he'll kill her... as long as you don't come she will be kept alive as bait."**

**Tsunade sunk down in her chair, her face in her hands, "I can't lose another... I couldn't bear it.  I'm not sure how I can go on if I lost her..." She froze and looked up.  "Where's Jiraiya?"  The look of understanding on his face said it all.  Jiraiya was going after Shizune, Ibiki was in the same situation, wanting to go to the one he loved but needing to stay where he was and pray his beloved wasn't killed.  Her gaze was horrified... and sympathetic, "I can't lose him either."  She slumped, the anguish in her voice was accompanied by guilt and she sat looking numbly at her hands.  "I should have killed Orochimaru so long ago..."**

**Ibiki said nothing, at this moment reasoning was useless.  Kakashi appeared catching the kunai Ibiki had instantly sent for his head, the person he had with him ripped loose running over Tsunade.  Ibiki swore and disappeared, Orochimaru didn't have Shizune it was a trap!**  

 

Ton-Ton looked at him, no vest and the pearls it always wore were gone.  Jiraiya spotted the first loose pearl, then another... It was not hard to follow the trail, he wondered if Orochimaru had left the clues or Shizune... didn't really matter, even if it was a trap he would go, he wouldn't let Tsunade lose another person she loved.

 

**Ibiki searched for an indication of direction from Jiraiya's last known location, it was possible he would have spent hours searching without a clue if it wasn't for Ton-Ton.  Ibiki spotted the little pig, Shizune's pet, there was no reason it should be on this level his eyes took in the missing vest and string of pearls.  He looked back at the area it came from spotting the pearls he swiftly raced towards his Koishii and the madman who waited for him.  Jiraiya would be at a disadvantage thinking Orochimaru had her, he would do anything to save her, including die himself, and he wasn't going to let that happen!**

 

_Jiraiya came around a corner and found the captor and victim waiting.  Orochimaru smiled, "Jiraiya... you're the wrong teammate I've already seen you... you will not do.  I have no use for you... no matter, I will see her later."  Jiraiya's gaze drifted down to the unconscious figure at Orochimaru's feet, his heart skipped a beat, it was possible he'd already killed her. Laying beside her prone form was Ton-Tons clothes..._

_Why would she have taken those off?  The pearls possibly but the outfit?  Something was wrong, it didn't make sense... why would Orochimaru have left her strip the pig?  Even if Orochimaru would have allowed her to strip the pig, why would she have continued to hold on to them?_

_"Well since you conveniently offer yourself... drop your weapons.  I will bind you and take you as bait, then release Shizune."  Jiraiya put his weapon pouch down._

_"The scrolls too." Orochimaru mocked, "Wouldn't want one of your slimy friends coming to spoil our fun, it's been so long since I got a chance to visit Leaf."_

_Jiraiya placed the scroll down beside his weapons, Shizune's hand lay holding Ton Ton's vest, her long fingernails... Jiraiya threw his kunai swiftly as he rose attacking Orochimaru.  Whoever the poor woman was she was not Shizune._

_A kunai flew at Jiraiya from out of the shadows, his opponent grinned as he watched Jiraiya look around, the Sannin knew he was in trouble as he noted there was at least four Orochimaru, possibly more... the one he fought, he could hear one behind him, another to the far left... The sharp sting of a kunai as it embedded in his shoulder pointed out yet another he hadn't seen.  Jiraiya dodged weapons flying from all sides as he fought the original , his only chance would be to escape if he could, they had the advantage in standing safely out of range, throwing kunai as he tried to keep the first Orochimaru from ending his life._

_His leg failed and he knew one of the many kunai had damaged something, most of his body hurt now and he knew he wasn't going to survive this, his leg unable to bear weight he couldn't maneuver to avoid the many kunai being thrown.  Jiraiya felt the savage piercing of his body but his eyes remained on the one he'd been fighting, the ones throwing the kunai would not kill him... no, this one would long before the kunai robbed him of his life._

_His vision was graying but his gaze remained on his enemy, the  wicked grin and delight on the one Orochimaru's face was horrible.  Then suddenly it gasped, grabbing it's throat and dropping to its knees a kunai sticking from the center of his throat._

_Jiraiya looked around seeing a dark beast swiftly slashing and rending the duplicates as it came toward him, dazed by blood loss it took a minute to realize that savage beast that was slaughtering every one of his attackers was his beloved.  When Ibiki knelt beside him he was nearly as damp with blood as Jiraiya... but unlike Jiraiya none of it was his own._

 

**Ibiki wanted to swear, he wanted to kill, but everyone was already dead.  Jiraiya was in very bad shape, he carefully slipped his arm under him and made the hand signs, the two bloody men appeared in the center of Lady Tsunade's office.  Tsunade saw them, cried out and launched herself over, her hands lay on his chest pouring chakra into Jiraiya as Ibiki removed all the kunai.**

**Jiraiya was weak but alive, he opened his eyes and shook his head, "It wasn't Shizune."  Tsunade didn't say anything just continued pouring Chakra into him tears slipping down her cheeks, "Tsunade don't cry I'll find her..."**

**Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's face tenderly, his blood slick hands only adding to the mask of blood on his lover's face.  "Shhh... Koishii she's here, she's safe."  Shizune had stepped forward and was pulling Tsunade back from Jiraiya, "Saiai, he's ok, he's ok now."  Tsunade turned laying her damp face against Shizune's chest, Shizune stroked her hair gently, trying to calm her.**  

 

_Jiraiya sat up and looked back at Ibiki. "How many more do you think he has... how many villages did he wipe out before we even knew he was doing it?" Ibiki cradled him protectively for a moment, then released him and calculated, "We have taken down somewhere around 25 replica, possibly more... the villages that we know of were small... we may have eliminated two smaller villages male population.  I think the issue is where the original is controlling them from, he must expend his own chakra to keep connected, there has to be one central... the original, he would not be the one fighting."_

_Jiraiya agreed, "I believe we need to focus once more on what he's after, fighting all his replica we play into his hands."  Orochimaru had succeeded again in distracting him from the objective.  "He's keeping us occupied..."_

 

**Ibiki turned to the Hokage, "Tell Kakashi to have everyone concentrate only on the areas containing scroll, it's the most likely target.  I have a feeling what he's after is in or near the first place we encountered him, he's been steadily leading us away from that point."  Tsunade nodded, although a bit pale she had regained her professionalism.  "I will inform Kakashi... you two be careful."**

**Ibiki gave a sharp nod, Tsunade's eyes rested on Jiraiya a moment, she looked like she wanted to grab him and not let go... a feeling Ibiki completely agreed with.  Then she turned to one of the ANBU in the room, "Get me Kakashi."  The nin disappeared, and Ibiki looked somberly at his beloved.**

 

_Although Ibiki was now completely professional his eyes remained haunted for a moment more.  "We'll start in that main room and work out."  Jiraiya felt bad he'd frightened him yet again, but this was too important to 'play it safe', Orochimaru had to be stopped no matter what it took._

 

**Jiraiya nodded and the two men made the hand signs appearing in the first room.  Ibiki looked around brushing the walls, and looking under the few objects in the room for a cache.  All the scrolls that had littered the room were gone, now secured with the other forbidden scrolls, they would not be reached no matter how many men Orochimaru assaulted the ANBU with.  But the fact there was no report of troubles from his men there pointed to the conclusion it was not among the scrolls they'd collected.**

**Ibiki had a very strong feeling it was here... in his explorations he came upon niches that held  disturbingly unrecognizable bits of something that was likely human at one point but nothing that would be worth returning for.  Jiraiya stood in the middle of the room completely still, Ibiki noticed but did not let it distract him.**

 

_Jiraiya slowly looked around the room, he'd known Orochimaru for many years before he was forced to flee the Leaf... where would he put something important?  Something he knew he may need to leave behind and would need to stay hidden until he could return for it... Jiraiya's eyes dropped to a round hole in a wall near the floor, it looked like a rodent hole._

_Orochimaru had found snakes riveting, often he was found dangling a rodent he caught over a wild snake letting it snatch it from his grasp, fearless even as Tsunade would explain it was venomous and beg him to get away from it... Jiraiya walked closer._

_The strange child had loved the snakes hiding in the crevasse of boulders waiting for a chance to strike.  Jiraiya brushed his fingers under the stone over hanging the rat hole.  Leaping back as something shifted, nothing large or alarming, just a space where the rocks looked solid but shifted at his touch, he returned feeling further._

 

**"Here."  Jiraiya stated, he knelt beside an opening his arm slipping into the gap almost up to his shoulder, it was incredibly dangerous but Ibiki recognized that the risk was necessary.  "There's an opening... an empty space."**

**"I can't let you take that..."  Orochimaru walked calmly into the room, his lack of fear meant he was simply another replica... or was he.  Ibiki whipped a kunai and the Sannin dodged it looking alarmed, Ibiki smiled it was a savage grin that made Orochimaru back up a step before standing his ground.  Ibiki taunted, "We meet at last."  Then struck, there was no doubt this was the Sannin as the man moved swiftly, an almost serpentine fluidity to his return strikes.**

 

_Jiraiya almost yanked his arm out to go help but, remained where he was continuing to find a hold on the scroll in the cavern.  He had to trust Ibiki could handle it, his beloved was giving him an opening, a chance to retrieve the object by fighting Orochimaru._

_Slowly Jiraiya drew back, his sleeve catching and ripping every few inches but as long as his arm remained center the sharp 'teeth' did not so much as scrape his flesh... inward facing metal shards... you wouldn't feel them as you put your arm in but if he'd have attempted to yank his arm out they would have shredded his arm... sneaky... but then his friend had always delighted in natures offenses and defenses.  Backward facing teeth were not uncommon in snakes, preventing the prey from backing out as the snake moved forward swallowing it._

_Jiraiya slipped free, the small scroll looked unimpressive but there was no doubt Orochimaru wanted it badly.  When he saw Jiraiya had retrieved it he shrieked "That's mine, you cannot have it!"  Jiraiya heard rapid movement coming from the hall, he tucked the scroll inside his blood stiff clothing and waited beside the door his kunai drawn._

_It was very unlikely that the approaching swarm of people were 'friendly'  in fact as he attacked the first of what seemed to be an almost endless supply of duplicate Orochimaru, he had to admit it was extremely disturbing.  He could not let them in and he held position at the door slashing and stabbing the hoard who walked on their fallen 'brethren' without hesitation crushing them under foot._

 

**Ibiki could 'see' that the floor under Jiraiya's feet was becoming slick with blood and the enemy showed no sign of stopping... he had to kill Orochimaru and hope the replica 'died' as well, it was the only way.  His partner couldn't continue, exhaustion and the slick floor would lead to a mistake and they'd swarm him, the sheer numbers overwhelming even the powerful Sannin.**

**That would not happen... the memory of his Koishii laying on the floor covered in blood... a fury rose in him at the thought, his blows now fierce brute strength that caused the other man to fall back, his slight form at a great disadvantage and not able to hold ground.  It was now clear the foul Sannin's chakra was being heavily used in the control and animating of his duplicates and he was quickly becoming exhausted.**

 

_Jiraiya noted the quantity of attacking was diminishing, many just dropping and laying prone although uninjured, he doubted Orochimaru had planned on ever needing to fight, leaving it to his 'army' so had too much chakra invested in them._

 

**"Looks like your puppets are failing." Ibiki mocked, striking swiftly and causing the smaller man to leap back.  Orochimaru's subtle shift and glance let Ibiki know what he planned long before he attempted it and he leapt over blocking his attack on Jiraiya's unprotected back.  "Not this time." Ibiki growled, his blows brutal as he forced him backwards until his back was against a wall.**

 

_Jiraiya was growing increasingly worried, the duplicate Orochimaru just kept coming, he still couldn't see no end to them and the mound in the doorway was appalling.  Their blood was a small lake around him, soon he would have no choice but to fall back, his footing was very unstable and the bodies continued bleeding out even as he killed another._

 

**Ibiki had noted something important and he was pleased, although he did not show it... Kakashi had arrived. Orochimaru was too busy trying to control his remaining 'men' and fend off Ibiki's powerful blows as he was maneuvered back right into Kakashi's reach.  The silver haired nin reached around and drew his kunai across the pale throat, the sharp blade bit deep and their enemy dropped to his knees grasping futility at the wound.**

**Ibiki didn't watch, he turned to his Koishii who had dropped to rest against a wall and couldn't hide his relief as his partner looked back at him unharmed. With their 'master's death' all the replica had dropped lifeless.  When Jiraiya grinned at something behind him, Ibiki turned to see that Kakashi held Orochimaru's disembodied head like the Greek legend of Peruses holding Medusa's severed head.**

**Ibiki almost cracked a smile, even without doing so it was clear Kakashi was aware he was amused, "Want it for outside the ANBU Headquarters?  If we coat it in..." Ibiki shook his head but it was at the snowy haired nin's 'idea'.  He knew Kakashi wasn't serious, and yet as he turned to look back at Jiraiya, the unusual man turned the head looking it in the eyes and regarding it intently... maybe he wasn't joking.  Well, either way it was over and the only thing he wanted to do was go home and hold his Koishii.**

**These past few hours were the most harrowing of his life.  But first they needed to report to the Hokage that the threat was eliminated.  Kakashi removed one of his pouches cut it open and wrapped the severed head in it... Ibiki hid his dismay, if he preserved that thing he was going to do a psych. eval. on him!**

**But Kakashi stated, "I'll give this to one of the ANBU Ghouls for study and let them know where the body is."  He gave a lazy wave and he disappeared, Kakashi enjoyed taunting the ANBU Corpse Squad.  Jiraiya and Ibiki made the hand signs and arrived in Tsunade's office, the ANBU guard stood ready to fight in front of the Hokage... although he was meant to remain to guard her, he was sure she'd sent Kakashi, only the two ANBU remained.  "Stand down."  The men dropped their stance and stepped back to stand unobtrusively to the sides.**

 

_Jiraiya looked her in the eyes. "He's dead Tsunade, this time there is no doubt."  Tsunade looked pointedly at him and he explained a bit awkwardly. "Well his body is down there... but Kakashi took his head."  A headless body was definitely not a living one._

_Tsunade's eyes widened.  "Kakashi took his head... with him?!"_  

 

**Ibiki stepped in correcting and easing her mind.  No, the eccentric nin hadn't lost his mind... at least as far as they knew. "He took the Head to the ANBU Corpse Squad."**

 

_"Ah."  She nodded, mollified by his words.  Jiraiya drew out the scroll Orochimaru was attempting to retrieve and held it out to her.  Lady Tsunade took the scroll solemnly. "I don't think any of us should see the contents, if Orochimaru wanted it so greatly that he risked his life to get it... well, it can't be good.  It will be locked away with the other forbidden scrolls."  Jiraiya nodded._

_Shizune looked over at Jiraiya curiously. "How did you know the body wasn't me?"_

_Jiraiya smiled.  "Long finger nails... I know you Shizune, you would never give up practicality, for vanity... You're a nin, long nails would be a unnecessary handicap.  Where were you?"_

_"Fighting one of Orochimaru's replicas to keep him out of the records room, when Kakashi appeared with the ANBU they secured it and he brought me here."_

_Jiraiya smiled warmly at his dearest friend. "I'm glad, so you didn't really... 'lose' her."_

 

**Ibiki watched Tsunade hit Jiraiya, a gentle tap that almost knocked him from his feet. "No, but I almost did loose someone I love, idiot!  Don't you ever think of trying something like that again!"  The fire seeped out of her and she reached out to touch his arm, more than likely healing the damage she'd caused.  "Thank you for trying to save Shizune."  **

**Jiraiya teased. "She's the only one who will put up with you, I had to go after her."**

**Ibiki made note to leave the part where Jiraiya almost used the Reaper Death scroll out of the report, Tsunade may seriously injure him.  Well, not really, but in truth it would not do her good to know Jiraiya almost used it, she'd had enough of a fright seeing him badly injured.**

**Tsunade was not distracted by the playful taunt.  "I don't want to ever lose either of you.  Make sure you get some rest for a few days... please."**

**Jiraiya looked at his friend apologetically.  "You too."  She was worried about the blood loss he'd had, but he didn't want her to forget she'd been through a great deal too, she had to have expended a great amount of Chakra healing him.**

**She nodded and attempted to put on a professional front... not very successfully, and looked over at Ibiki. "So it's over..."**

**"Yes."  Ibiki replied, his mind already on getting Jiraiya home. "His replica dropped like puppets without strings... I will assign the clean up.  The Corpse Squad will have interest in the bodies."**

**She looked disgusted, and a bit dismayed.  He could explain it was for understanding the jutsu used on the men, but saw no point.  Their report would be sealed away with the scroll, that was not a jutsu that they'd want anyone to ever know. Tsunade nodded.  "Dismissed... and thank you Ibiki."**

**Jiraiya looked at him curiously, but when no explanation came accepted it, and they performed the hand signs.  Walking through the building would have been... messy.  And talking about messy.  "I need to stop by the ANBU building for a minute."**

 

_Jiraiya nodded, the Administration Building would have quite an aroma if they did not get the mess cleaned up soon... the things that happen in and come from a body after death were not pleasant and happened a lot sooner than most would expect._

_After the brief stop they continued quietly through the village, many of the villagers had no idea anything had happened, and they'd never know._

_Once at the house Ibiki closed the door and turned to look at his beloved seriously.  "Jiraiya don't ever risk yourself like that again."_

_Jiraiya gave him a soothing smile, it wasn't something he could promise, as long as he stayed in the village he would always step forward to defend it._

_Ibiki's eyes turned worried, his hand caressing the side of Jiraiya's face, "Please, don't ever even think of using that scroll..."_

_Then  Jiraiya realized, it wasn't the fighting, his beloved accepted that as necessary... he was talking about the Reaper Death seal scroll.  "I promise, I will not use it."  Both he and Ibiki knew it would not be hard for him to get his hands on it again even if it was locked away._

 

**Jiraiya tugged at his blood stiff clothing, Ibiki knew much of it was his lover's own blood.  As his fingers unfastened the bindings and stroked over Jiraiya's chest it wasn't sexual, his voice was a bit strained.  "Seeing you there on the floor covered in blood and all the kunai embedded in you... I've never been so frightened in my life."**

 

_Jiraiya's eyes teared. "I am sorry Koishii."  The sorrow that was in his partner's words made Jiraiya wish he could wipe those memories away, Ibiki had suffered enough in his life._

_Ibiki embraced him. "I'm not sorry I saw it... you were amazing, even while injured so badly you continued to fight." His beloved kissed him, then added.  "But if possible I don't want to ever see it again."_

 

**"Are you going to hit me for frightening you too?"  Jiraiya teased pretending to rub his arm like it was sore from Tsunade's hit.**

**"No... although I plan on putting my hands on you I'm quite sure it won't be to hit you.  I have more interesting ways I'd like to touch you."  Although there was passion in his eyes there was also the echo of his fear that he'd 'lost' him.**

**Jiraiya's eyes darkened in desire, but he played along and hoped it would ease the last of Ibiki's distress. "Really and what ways would that be?"**

**"Come shower and I'll show you." Ibiki replied.**

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Once in the shower Ibiki placed Jiraiya's hands on his ass, his Koi lightened his touch to draw them away but Ibiki just embraced him, placing kisses over his throat.  "Don't... Please, I want to feel you, to feel your hands on me and know you are here with me."**

**Jiraiya gasped as Ibiki's finger slipped between the cheeks of his ass tracing over the tempting entrance, then moaned, his muscles quivering at having remain still.**

**"Touch me, please."  Ibiki asked his hands stroking over his lover's ass as he passionately kissed him.**

 

_Jiraiya's hands slipped up, but did not lift from his beloved, pausing just below his waist and massaging his way up his back while Ibiki groaned. "You are amazing Jiraiya!"_

_Jiraiya could see the pleasure on his beloved's face, one day he'd like to massage his whole body but this was enough for now, the freedom to caress his back... it was too soon for anything more._

 

**Ibiki did wish to feel his touch all over his body, but Jiraiya had known it would distress him and his fingers had softly kneaded up his spine relaxing muscles he hadn't even known were sore... his beloved was incredible in so many ways.  He wanted so much, he wanted to sleep beside him and to feel his Koishii's whole body embrace him. **

**Ibiki quietly took a wash cloth and soaped it, washing slowly over Jiraiya's throat, then down his shoulders and arms to the large gentle hands.  Then he took one placing it on his cheek, "I love your touch Koishii."**

**Jiraiya gave him a loving smile and brushed his lips over Ibiki's in a light kiss.  Ibiki groaned at the temptation, cupping his head and kissing him passionately.  Although aroused when he broke the kiss he continued to wash the blood from his lover's skin.**

**Jiraiya's body trembled hard, his hands clenching at his sides as the wash cloth slipped over the taut muscles of his stomach.  Ibiki wanted him, wanted to touch him to hear him. "React for me, let me hear you, I want to hear your pleasured cries at my touch."**

 

_Ibiki's husky purr was enough to excite him without the added stimulation and with it he was left almost desperate.  Jiraiya shivered and cried out in delight at his lover's touch,  he wanted Ibiki, he wanted his cock thrusting into him, filling him... he wanted his beloved to cup his body to him from behind and thrust up into him.  But that was not something he could ask for... ever._

_ That _ _he knew they'd done... so very many of them, hurting him... his desire disappeared at the thought and tears slipped down his face as he tried to banish them.  Ibiki kissed his cheeks gently soothing, "What is wrong?"_

_Jiraiya gave a little smile, dismissing his tears. "I am fine, just a momentary sadness."_

_Ibiki nuzzled his way up Jiraiya's throat to whisper, "What is wrong Koi?"_

_He couldn't deny him but he also didn't want to cause him terrible memories.  "I just wish I could erase everything bad that's happened to you."_

_Ibiki caressed him, embracing him so their bodies met.  Jiraiya could feel the slight flinch his beloved gave at the feel of his hard cock and was going to shift his body so his lover wouldn't feel the insistent press.  But his partner cupped his hips keeping them together, their cocks pressed between their bodies.  Ibiki's grasp did not loosen as he asked, "Rock your hips."_

_Jiraiya wasn't so sure about this, Ibiki had been through a lot of stress today, but his Koishii wanted this.  He gave a few gentle thrusts before stilling._

_"Please."  Ibiki asked softly._

 

**Jiraiya groaned at the temptation, "I want to touch you, to feel you, but please don't push at your boundaries for me."**

**"I push at my boundaries for us, not just for you... I want to try more, do more don't be afraid to let me push at them."  Ibiki replied seriously looking into his eyes, eyes that were filled with love.**

 

_Jiraiya gave him an adoring smile, "How did I ever get so blessed to win your love?  My strong and brave Koishii.  You wish to try things that distress you for us..."  He held back from adding, 'but please don't' this was what his partner wanted, he asked him not to stop him and so he wouldn't.  "You have no idea how greatly I love you."_

_Ibiki pushed Jiraiya's hands down to rest on his ass, kissing him passionately but breaking it a moment later and placing them back up on his waist before continuing to kiss him.  Jiraiya relaxed and allowed his lover to take his hand using it to caress softly over his body, barely lightly brushing over the firm cheeks of his ass.  Jiraiya kissed the sensitive scar tissue up to his ear. "You feel wonderful, so perfect."_

 

**Ibiki froze at the word and his hand dropped from Jiraiya's, the taunts of the Rain nin as they rammed into him... _'You like this!  You want this!  Your body clinging to me, the perfect little whore...'_**

**"Ibiki, Koishii... do you wish me to take my hands from you?"**

**Ibiki could hear the distress in his lover's voice but it felt like someone had seized his heart, "No... just let them stay.  'Perfect... perfect whore'... they said that to me, shamed me as they raped me."**

**"Ibiki." Jiraiya spoke his voice full of love, his gaze was accepting... understanding and full of support for him.  "I wish I could take those things away even if I had to suffer them myself... so strong... so amazing... I would do anything for you, all you need to do is ask."**

**Jiraiya's words seeped past the taunts that echoed in his memory, a strong solid rope he grasped.  "You have suffered enough pain... don't dismiss your own."**

**Jiraiya gave a tender smile, "All the pain I've suffered was self inflicted... I'm a fool..."**

**Ibiki stilled his lips with a kiss and corrected, "A loving, open, generous man surrounded by fools who could not see outside themselves and their selfish needs."  As Jiraiya's hands continued resting on his ass Ibiki stroked lightly over his torso,  seeing the kunai... he could tell exactly were each was and remembered the gasps of pain with every one he pulled out... not a mark remained but he could see them in his mind... this man who didn't believe his suffering mattered... he'd almost died to go rescue his friend's beloved.**

 

_From the way Ibiki looked at his skin, his fingers so gentle as if tracing scars, Jiraiya knew he'd just added one more trauma to the list.  "I am fine, I promise..."_

_"I think too much about the past, so much that I miss the present."  He slipped Jiraiya's hands back up to his waist.  "I want to hold you."  They rinsed, dried themselves and Jiraiya went to lay on the bed but was surprised and more than a bit uneasy as Ibiki lay down and drew him down on top of him... he wished he could will away his erection but he couldn't._

_Yes, he'd laid on top of Ibiki before, he'd even been aroused as he did it, but it was when his lover was teased to strong desire...  Jiraiya was worried his beloved was pushing too hard.  His partner's body had slowly tensed, his muscles tightly bunched with stress and aggression.  "Talk to me... tell me your thoughts."  Jiraiya urged hoping to provide a distraction or at least understand the emotions he was feeling._

 

**Ibiki focused on his lover's face, "I was trying to picture having someone I cared for fucking me..."**

**Jiraiya's eyes widened and he got off him, sitting on the edge of the bed he looked at Ibiki sadly.  "Do you know what that would do to me?  Knowing you are afraid and angry, I couldn't ever... Ibiki I can't, please don't ask that of me... every time you tense, every time you flinch at my touch, it brings me such deep sorrow."**

 

_Ibiki sat up his eyes loving as he stroked Jiraiya's back.  "I'm sorry.  I just didn't think... When I push at things like that it causes me distress and anxiety, I was being selfish and cruel not thinking how you felt... How it felt to have someone you love flinch and draw away."_

_Jiraiya shook his head seriously. "No, not flinch and draw away... flinch and insist I continue to touch you in a way that brings no pleasure only feelings of sorrow, anger and anxiety."_  

 

**Ibiki nodded drawing Jiraiya back up but to lay beside him. His fingers circled his lover's nipple and Jiraiya arched up into his touch gasping in pleasure, but his hands remained at his sides and he didn't insist he place them on his waist or ass.  Those were not areas he was comfortable with... if it caused him to be 'uncomfortable' it brought his partner no pleasure.**

**Ibiki slowly stroked down his Koishii's hard body stopping at his navel and lifting his hand back to the teasing of his lover's nipples.  Jiraiya mewed and trembled excitedly, these were sounds he did not make when he forced him to do things that caused them distress.**

**Ibiki groaned.  "The sounds you make as I touch you... the feel of your fingers on me... I never knew the pleasure I could get from these things until you... please keep touching me, don't stop because I was pushing too hard... I want your touch."**

 

_Jiraiya quietly agreed. "I will continue touching you... if you promise to say 'stop' if anywhere I touch causes any negative feelings."  _

_Ibiki kissed him and promised, "I will tell you to stop if I feel uncomfortable."  Jiraiya nodded his fingers slipping down his lover's body stroking and bringing further groans of pleasure from the powerful man.  Jiraiya watched him seriously his hand stroking down the side of his hip until Ibiki flinched, "Stop."_  

 

**Jiraiya's hand moved away to tease his body in a different area as he kissed his chest.  His eyes were less worried and he seemed to be enjoying touching and tasting him more than before.  Not having to worry if something caused him to be uncomfortable he could focus on driving him mad with lust.  "Jiraiya," Ibiki moaned.  "I need to feel you, I want you..."**

 

_Ibiki wanted to keep pushing at his boundaries, and to some degree he could let him but it could be done in a much less distressing manner.  Jiraiya purred, "Tell me, what do you want?"  He offered his beloved the chance to try something 'new', giving him a decision on if he could comfortably do so... if he'd like to try a new position it would be a less 'threatening' way._

 

**For a minute Ibiki wasn't sure what he was being asked, when he realized, he was offering what position would he like.  He knew one thing, he couldn't do it with Jiraiya bowed...**

**"Ibiki..."  Jiraiya crooned drawing him back and making his cock give a strong throb.**

**"On your back... please."  Ibiki covered him pressing into the hot embrace with groans of pleasure that were echoed by the ecstatic man beneath him.  "Jiraiya," he panted, "Touch me."**  

 

_Jiraiya did, gladly caressing his chest and over his back stroking over powerful muscles his desire growing urgent.   "Ibiki... please I need you."_

_Ibiki started slowly fucking him, "I want to feel your hands on my ass... just for a moment... please."_

_Jiraiya relented, he knew something that may make it less distressing, Jiraiya's hands rested there but just to encourage him to roll his hips, then his hands fell away as he arched in delight panting and mewing at the exquisite feel of his lover._

 

**Ibiki was a bit stunned, it had sent a spike of panic through him to feel hands on his ass but the way they guided his hips... the strong surge of pleasure the motion brought... incredible, and Jiraiya's ecstatic  response was very arousing.  He was a bit conflicted on whether he'd want to be touched again and settled on repeating the move Jiraiya had showed him.  His beloved moaned, arching eagerly into him, Ibiki was delighted and as he returned to thrusting into the welcoming grasp of his lover's body, his heart drummed in excitement at the discovery, his thrusts becoming faster and causing the two men to moan in pleasure.**

**Jiraiya's grasp on his back was a slight bit firmer and Ibiki found that it teased him, the firmer hold telling him how greatly his love wanted him.  It was thrilling, exciting enough to bring him rapidly toward his climax.**

 

_Jiraiya tilted his hips sharply and howled in rapture as his lover's cock hit that perfect spot inside him, Ibiki gave a startled gasp then fevered moans bucking and cumming in the rippling grasp of Jiraiya's body.  He groaned in pleasure, and as they lay recovering Ibiki cupped his cheek kissing him deeply.  Although lusty, the kiss held such strong love that Jiraiya whimpered softly at the desire to 'drink this in', to memorize every brush of his Koishii's body, every movement within him was so powerful.  He would never be able to leave Ibiki, even after his beloved moved on to someone else he'd wait and watch remembering these touches._

 

**"You are everything I could ever want... a partner, a lover and an equal to stand beside me... you are a dream come to life."  Ibiki crooned adoringly as his hand cupped Jiraiya's face.**

**His Koishii's gentle smile and words showed he still believed he'd be cast aside.  "I will be whatever you wish, do anything I can for you, as long as you want me."**

**Ibiki rolled to place Jiraiya on top of him his hands molding his partner's body to him as his mouth sucked and nibbled his lover's throat.  "Ibiki!"  Jiraiya groaned, "you feel so good against me."**

 

_Jiraiya was a bit surprised at Ibiki's complete lack of hesitation and lack of a negative response from his lover's body as he placed Jiraiya's body on top once more... as always, he was thrilled he desired him.  Jiraiya gave a soft moan writhing slightly on him, it may cause anxiety and he was very aware the feel of his quickly hardening cock pressed against Ibiki may 'end' this cuddle but he simply enjoyed it, even if it would need to end soon._

 

**Ibiki moaned at the feel of his beloved squirming enticingly on top of him, his eyes dark with desire and sensual lips parted in a soft pant that tempted him to cover them with his own.  Ibiki's cock flushed and he urged, "Please stay on top of me..."  Jiraiya gave an understanding smile and slipped up positioned Ibiki's swollen length then pressed down to take it in his body.  Groaning in delight as Ibiki cupped the cheeks of his ass kneading the firm rounded cheeks and feveredly kissed his jaw line.**

 

_Jiraiya was a bit surprised as Ibiki urged him up to seated, his beloved wanted to try a new position and was still aroused enough it was not causing him anxiety!  They both gave blissful moans as his cock sank deeper.  Ibiki's hands on his hips tightened slowly as he bucked up into him, encouraged him to move.  Jiraiya gratefully rocked on the hard staff panting and mewing at the strong surges of pleasure then smoothly lifting and lowering his body, meeting Ibiki's upward thrust with the drop of his body and feeling the glorious sensation of his lover's cock filling him._

 

**Ibiki moaned loudly, his Koishii showed him new things every time they touched, areas that brought pleasure and motions that were enough to make him weep in ecstasy.  Jiraiya arched sharply at Ibiki's next thrust and howled in rapture as his orgasm swept over him.  Pressing down to take as much of Ibiki's cock into him as possible and panting as his passage continued contracting and drawing on his engorged length.**

**The final tease that brought Ibiki's climax was the rapture in his Koishii's eyes as he gasped, "You feel so amazing, your cock deep in me... wonderful!"**

 

_Jiraiya gave a pleasured gasp as Ibiki's cock jumped within his tight passage filling him with his lover's cum._

 

**Ibiki drew his partner down to lay on top of him kissing him, his heart so full of joy he couldn't find the words to express it.  Jiraiya rose off him and lay beside him, his hands resting lightly on his chest, Ibiki took one of his beloved's hands and kissed it. "I don't think I could be any happier, you are astounding... every new touch rapture."**

**Jiraiya smiled, stroked his face and then simply asked, "What caused anxiety for you?"  Ibiki caressed his beloved's soft skin, as he replied, "No anxiety, although was a bit uncertain about a few things... except for a flash when I asked for you to touch my ass... but what you did... incredible.  I could see possibly asking  for your touch again."**

 

_Jiraiya was very happy to hear it had been strong enough pleasure to counter the distress, "Anything Koishii, anything you ever want I will do."_

_Ibiki sighed and nuzzled him, "Looks like we need another shower."_

_Jiraiya laughed, "Yes, appears so."_

_After they showered and dried Ibiki looked at Jiraiya seriously, "I'd like you to stay... I'm not able to sleep beside you yet but..."_

_Jiraiya smiled. "I could sleep on pin cushions if it meant being in the same room with you."_

_Ibiki's lips twitched, his eyes sparkling with humor as he replied, "Sorry, no pincushions but I can supply couch cushions... I will take the floor."_

 

**Jiraiya shook his head seriously, the humor gone like a candle being blown out.  "No, you sleep on the bed."  Ibiki cupped his head looking in his somber eyes, his thumb caressing Jiraiya's cheek bone.  "Why don't you wish me to sleep on the floor?"**

**Jiraiya didn't even try to play it off, "You will never have to sleep on the floor again or be denied a room anywhere we go... if they do I will flatten the place."  Jiraiya's gaze was intense, for a moment it called to mind the way he looked at the inn when he threatened he would make the storm look like a spring shower.  "I am serious, I will not tolerate it.  Do not protest you are used to it, that is in the past and you will be treated with honor from now on."**

**The absolute conviction in his tone changed it from being 'cute' that he wanted to protect him to a serious vow, as his partner he would not allow others to treat him badly no more than Ibiki would allow others to treat Jiraiya badly... equality... it was beautiful.  "Come lay beside me on the bed until we get tired.  Then I will make you a place to sleep for tonight, tomorrow we will have a second bed delivered... until we can solve the danger of sleeping beside each other."**

**Jiraiya's voice was husky, his eyes damp with tears.  "You want me to stay?  Here with you?"**

**Ibiki kissed him lovingly. "Yes, I don't want to be away from you any more, I would like you to move in."**

**Jiraiya whimpered and brushed his lips softly over his, as always Ibiki couldn't resist the urge to deepen the kiss and he didn't try, immediately giving in to the desire.**

 

_Jiraiya drew him back to lay on the bed and attempted to keep his strokes to innocent caresses, not meant to arouse, he wanted this, he wanted to feel his Koishii beside him, resting peacefully.  They may not be able to sleep in the same bed but in the same room was good enough. "Why did Tsunade thank you?"_

_Ibiki cupped his cheek, "For staying beside her, for taking the same risk of losing the one I love to keep her safe... and, I believe, also for finding you and getting you to her so she could heal you... she loves you very much."_

_Jiraiya smiled it was meant to be playful but fell short, "She says the same thing about you."_

 

**Ibiki traced the skin of his stomach and ribs, it would be quite a time before that urge went away, luckily it did not seem to bother Jiraiya. "She is right, it's the most important thing we have in common, our deep love for you."**

 

_Jiraiya wanted to believe it, he wanted so very greatly to believe it... but he'd heard the vows of loving him  'forever' and the painful plans for a future that would never happen way too many times.  Every time he believed, then the relationship ended just like all the ones before.  The man he loved walking away as if it all was nothing... like they'd only known each other weeks._

_The ones where they'd lived together hurt the worst.  Sleeping beside them, feeling their body resting against his in love and trust, then watching them walking out the door and knowing they'd never come back.  He was left hurting while they happily went on to find another lover... unwanted... tossed aside... without value... nothing._

 

**Ibiki's heart hurt at the hopelessness, the sorrow and pain his lover's eyes held.  Jiraiya couldn't see that his pain was important, he had lost the belief he'd ever have someone truly love him and never leave.  He wished there was some way to soothe him, but he couldn't think of anything that could.**

 

_Jiraiya knew he shouldn't move in, the day Ibiki asked him to leave would be horrible but he could not deny his desire for it, for the beautiful lie.  He needed that lie, if only for a while, the fantasy that he was  valued.  Even if it was only empty promises and reassurances... then being left once more._

 

**"Jiraiya."  Ibiki caressed his face placing gentle kisses on it.  He couldn't ask Jiraiya to believe his vow that he wouldn't leave after all the people who'd hurt him, after all the ones promising a future then walking away. "I love you, my gorgeous Koishii, I love you so greatly.  Please live with me."**

**Jiraiya smiled but the look in his eyes was no less haunted. "Yes, I would love to live with you."**

 

_Ibiki smiled, and Jiraiya swore that his smile was the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen... and when he was alone again he knew he'd see it in his dreams.   His hand lay on Ibiki's chest feeling the soft rise and fall as his beloved gave slow relaxed breaths.  Jiraiya lay his head against his lover's shoulder, resisting the urge to kiss the tender scars.  "I should get up now, we've had a long day... I'm sure you are as tired as I am."_

 

**Ibiki rose up but leaned over him giving him a light kiss before continuing to his feet.  He felt so conflicted, he wanted his beloved beside him, but Jiraiya was right, it was time to make him a place to sleep.  He went out and gathered the couch cushions, when he returned Jiraiya smiled, "All I really need is a blanket."  Ibiki nodded then stroked his face, "I don't want you sleeping on the floor any more than you wish me to... humor me."  Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "Ok, I'm sure I can accept that you want me to be comfortable."**

**Jiraiya lay a blanket over the cushions and sprawled out on top of it lazily.  Ibiki shook his head in wonder then went and grabbed himself a pair of sleep pants.  "I swear you are so sexy..."  Jiraiya looked up curiously, then gave a playful little smile.  "I'm very glad you find me sexy..."  His smile turned longing but his words made it clear it wasn't sexual.  "I hope the sight brings you pleasant dreams."  Ibiki knew it wouldn't but the thought was nice.  He dropped down on the bed, the tension of the day left his body wide awake even though he was tired.  He watched the slow steady rise and fall of his lover's chest until sleep claimed him.**

 

_Jiraiya woke his heart pounding and his muscles jumping as he resisted his desire to go to his beloved, Ibiki had gave a soft cry it was more than enough to tell Jiraiya's his lover's nightmare was worse than usual.  He'd woke himself but the sound of his breathing made it clear he hadn't been able to escape the emotions triggered by it yet.  "Koishii."  Jiraiya tried to put all his love into his words, he could not touch him._

 

**Jiraiya hadn't moved, although Ibiki could hear his desire to comfort him he remained laying still and calm on his make shift bed.  "I'm sorry these dreams haunt you."  His partner's voice was gentle and soothing, it helped... especially since it was a new nightmare that had haunted him tonight... the Rain Village nin weren't torturing him... they'd had Jiraiya.  His wonderful Koishii's eyes full of pain and damp with tears... it was so much worse than his nightmares of the abuse he'd endured.  "Jiraiya... would you come lay next to me for a few minutes?"  **

**Jiraiya's eyes were full of deep love, "Yes, Koishii... any time you need it."  Jiraiya slowly rose his movements calm and non threatening, he slipped onto the bed beside him, their bodies close enough he could feel the heat of his lover's skin but not touching.  "Touch me, please." Ibiki asked softly.**

 

_Jiraiya stroked his face tenderly, he would not ask... he didn't need to, Ibiki had looked panicked, not aggressive when he woke... and his beloved's need to have him near as he tried to banish his dream.  He knew he was to blame for this new set of nightmares.  "I am so sorry."_

_Ibiki nuzzled into Jiraiya's throat. "My Koishii... my extraordinary partner..." Jiraiya wanted to cry, it was heartbreakingly similar to hiding his face against him, seeking comfort.  His hand lay lightly on his beloved's upper back, "I wish there was something I could do or say..." but they both knew there wasn't._

 

**Ibiki lay inhaling the scent of his lover's skin, trying to anchor himself and deny the panic inspired by the dream.  Jiraiya was here, he was ok... Ibiki drew back slightly and looked in his Koishii's loving eyes. "You do help, everything you do and say helps very much."**

**Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, "I'm glad."**

 

_They lay quietly beside each other until Jiraiya felt his beloved's muscles loosen.  "I should probably let you get some sleep now."  Although he said it he hadn't moved, his arm still lay cupping him lightly to him, he wouldn't leave him if he wanted him there... even if it was extremely dangerous to stay beside him as he slept._

 

**Ibiki knew he was waiting to see if he was ready for him to get up.  "Yes, Koishii... thank you."  Jiraiya looked seriously at him, "Any time you want me, anything you need I will do... I love you..."**

**Although Jiraiya hadn't said it Ibiki knew what he'd been about to say... _'more than life'_.  Ibiki kissed him, "You are a treasure unlike any other, don't place yourself below others."  His beloved smiled softly but Ibiki wasn't fooled.  Jiraiya would immediately give his life to protect the ones he loved... he'd already shown that too many times in the last 48 hours.  **

**He couldn't change his Koishii's mind, he could only say, "I will follow you, where ever you go."  He'd seen too much death, lived so long in the empty void, lost and isolated, he'd do anything to keep his beloved, even die... hopefully that knowledge would detour Jiraiya from risking his life without a great deal of thought into alternatives.  Ibiki wouldn't just go on to find another, Jiraiya was his only.**

 

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**END OF CHAPTER**


	5. THE WAITING ONE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 5)

**THE WAITING ONE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 5)**

 

Jiraiya walked in and noticed his Koishii had moved their two beds closer, although there was still a noticeable gap between them.  Ibiki was extraordinary, his intelligence and willingness to work forward towards solutions... incredible.  With every day that passed he thanked the heavens that Ibiki loved him, he had never been so happy... which was frightening when he'd stop to think about it. 

 

There would come a day when beloved would lose interest and go on to find a new lover.  Yes he loved him, professed it often... but then so had the others.  Still he tried to ignore the fact it couldn't last and just enjoy every moment that he still had Ibiki's love.  Their beds nearly touched now and everything was going so well... then it fell apart in an instant.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya had gotten up slipped on some clothes and was about to walk out to get them some fresh fruit for breakfast when he heard Ibiki's soft heart breaking cry. "Don't please..."  He'd never heard his beloved say a word during all the nightmares he'd had and the words he spoke were so heart rending... Without thought he walked over and bowed over his Koishii and stroked his cheek.  "It's alri..."  Suddenly, he felt an impact to his chest, the pain was terrible.  Jiraiya dropped to the floor looking up at Ibiki.

 

**He woke up, instantly striking out... Jiraiya dropped to his knees.  Ibiki leapt up, looking at the kunai he'd plunged into his beloved in horror. "No... no... Jiraiya!"  He'd done it, he'd killed him...  his Koishii was bleeding heavily but what was worse than the blood and the pain on his face was the acceptance in his eyes, even now he would not attempt to defend himself... even now they held no blame, only love.**

**Ibiki quickly squat next to him wrapped an arm around Jiraiya and performed the hand signs, not to the hospital, to the one person who he knew would not allow his beloved to die.  Tsunade cried out her desk flying across the room as she pushed back from it, leapt up and ran to Jiraiya... She didn't ask, just began healing him as quickly as was possible, when she felt he was a stable as he could be they needed to do the one thing that could end everything very quickly... they had to remove the kunai, if it was blocking a severed artery he would bleed out very fast, if in removing it the blade caused further damage...**

**Ibiki grasped the handle he looked at Lady Tsunade somberly, inside he was howling and sobbing but it would not help, he had to remain calm.  The Hokage nodded her hands nearly touching the blade as they were placed on each side of the weapon.  Ibiki started to ease it back, they hoped that she could heal him as they drew it out but  Jiraiya paled and went limp.**

**"Pull it out!"  Tsunade gasped, frantic tears ran down her cheeks as she nearly laid on him pouring as much Chakra as possible quickly into him and whispering, "Please.... you can't... Jiraiya please don't do this to me... please... I need you here."  Ibiki did the only thing he could, he got up walked out and grabbed Shizune from the missions office.  She saw his face and didn't say a word as a half naked  and blood smeared Ibiki drew her back to the Hokage's office.  She saw Tsunade on the floor bowed over Jiraiya and made a horrified cry as she quickly crossed to her side.  "What happened?!"**

**Ibiki shook his head, they'd have time for that after... he'd brought Shizune because he didn't want Tsunade to see her best friend die without having her beloved there to comfort her... his own Koishii would never again hold him or stroke his cheek, he'd never see those kind eyes filled with love looking at him with acceptance and understanding.**

**Ibiki's hold on his emotions broke, tears slipped down his scarred cheeks, his voice husky he pleaded. "I need you Jiraiya, please.  You have to come back to me, please."  The barest movement of Jiraiya's hand as it slipped down to cover Tsunade's was one of the most wonderful things he'd ever seen.  Ibiki backed away but he couldn't force himself to go until Jiraiya spoke, "Tsunade don't cry..." his voice was a raspy whisper.**

**Ibiki turned away and made the hand signs disappearing.  Appearing in his bedroom he stood looking down at his gentle Koishii's blood on the floor... He couldn't bear to look at him and know how close he'd come to ending the compassionate man's life.**

**Jiraiya would be ok now, he wouldn't die... but even with the level of Chakra Lady Tsunade had poured into him, he'd still would need to be in the hospital for at least a few days.**

**Standing there Ibiki struggled to do what he'd did so well up to now, suppress the pain.  Numbly he walked over to the bureau and dressed for work, then walked out the door... in the back of his mind a voice begged him to go to his beloved.**

**For the first time since his torture Ibiki found the pain was too great to stay submerged.  He couldn't deny it, he couldn't ignore it... and he couldn't stay there and cry.  As he'd walked away he knew he couldn't go back to their house, see the blood on the floor where Jiraiya had dropped and he couldn't look his Koishii in the eyes.  Ibiki continued walking until he reached his office, sitting at his desk he looked as emotionless as always but inside he wept.**

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_"Please don't die, please!  Please don't leave me..."_

His friend's words disappeared under the strong heartbroken sobs as she clasped him.  Then Jiraiya heard his beloved softly plead, _"I need you Jiraiya, please... you have to come back to me, please."_

 

Jiraiya was confused, but his confusion was quickly overcome by the desire to comfort his friend, his hand slipped down to cover hers. "Tsunade don't cry... Shhhh.... shhhh..." When he could pry open his eyes he looked for Ibiki but he wasn't there.  He met Shizune's eyes, they were dark with anguish as she watched her partner, she'd been unable to comfort her yet.  Tsunade was sobbing, holding Jiraiya tightly, her whole body shook in distress. 

 

Jiraiya looked down at her and gently soothed, "Tsunade."  He tenderly stroked her back, "It's ok... I'm alright... please don't cry.  I'm not going to leave you... shhhh... everything is ok."  He looked up at Shizune again and gave her an encouraging nod. 

 

Shizune lay a hand on her beloved, "Saiai..."  Shizune carefully pried her loose, "Tsunade, it's ok now... he's ok, but you have to let go of him... we need to get him to the hospital to rest." 

 

Tsunade nodded, releasing him but he could see how desperately she wanted to cling to him again... what happened?  He had a vague idea but that didn't really matter right now, he'd piece everything together later.  He tried to reach out to take her hand but he was so weak, she saw the gesture and took hold, Jiraiya softly soothed, "Tsunade please don't cry anymore... everything is ok, I promise." 

 

Shizune drew her up, her hand slipped from Jiraiya's, Shizune cupped her chin. "Deep breaths, calm... we need to call someone to help us move him, he must go to the hospital."

 

Tsunade nodded her eyes were haunted and she was definitely in shock but no longer crying, she appeared calm... to anyone who did not know her.  When she quietly placed her hand on his shoulder, Shizune looked worried, "You've used up a lot of Chakra..." then knowing Tsunade wouldn't change her mind she did the same as her lover, transporting themselves and Jiraiya to the hospital. 

 

The nurse on duty dropped her chart on the desk and with a note of distress in her professional bark snapped for orderly and a stretcher.  The nurses brisk manner helped calm Tsunade placing her back in control.  "Condition?" 

 

"Stable, laceration to the heart..."  Tsunade replied her eyes glued to her friend, the strong desire to hold him now only shown in her woeful eyes.

 

The nurse looked surprised then her gaze was very respectful, and she looked at Shizune as she confirmed. "Stable..." 

 

Shizune understood the woman's shock, she doubted anyone beside Lady Tsunade could have saved someone who'd had their heart pierced, and to have him stable was astounding.  Shizune serenely replied, "Yes." 

 

The woman nodded, as she rose she looked at Tsunade and said, "It is good to have you as Hokage my lady."  Then turned and directed the orderly on room and care, Jiraiya was asleep before the aides even arrived.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki was racked with guilt, he needed to end the relationship with Jiraiya, he never wanted to hurt him again... to stand beside him praying he hadn't killed him.**

**He wasn't sure how to do it any other way, his urge to go to his precious lover was counterproductive, this would be the end... he couldn't go see his Koishii, he had to stay away.**

**Jiraiya wouldn't wish to end it, Ibiki was certain even now the compassionate man was chastising _himself_ for _causing_ Ibiki's attack...  This relationship was too dangerous, he loved Jiraiya too much to bear the thought that one day he may kill him.**

**The sickly ironic part was the dream he'd been woken from was of the Rain nin killing Jiraiya... but it was he who almost did it in reality.**

 

\------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya was so tired, when he woke, he glanced around taking in the fact he was in the hospital then allowed himself to slip into sleep once more, he could figure this all out later.

 

When he woke once more, he didn't know how much time had passed but tried to get up.  He needed to talk to Ibiki, the mournful words... but when he'd looked his Koishii wasn't there.  He only made it to seated before he was dizzy, he didn't trust himself to stand,  and now he was too tired to leaver himself back into bed.  It was lucky he could reach the call button, when he pushed it, it took only a second for someone to hurry in.  "Master Jiraiya!  No you really mustn't get up yet... please."  She aided him as he slipped back to lying in the bed. 

 

"Where's Tsunade?"  He remembered how she hadn't wanted to let go of him, she needed to see he was ok.

 

"The Hokage is likely in her office we will inform her you have woken." The nurse reassured.

 

Jiraiya nodded, he really didn't want to ask the nurse what happened but he was uncertain he should ask Tsunade.  "Is Shizune with her?" 

 

The nurse nodded, "I believe her aide is with her, she was with her earlier and they left together." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, it was good Shizune was with her... she'd been so devastated... he hid his reluctance and asked simply. "What was I admitted for?" 

 

The nurse glanced at the clip board. "Injury to the heart..."  Her gaze was now filled with a deeper concern, "Master Jiraiya you must rest, please don't try to get up again, anything you wish simply press the call button and we will get it for you."

 

Jiraiya nodded, not everything... they could not get him what he wanted above all, to see Ibiki.  But Lady Tsunade may be able to fulfill that request.  He waited for the nurse to do her fussing with taking his vitals and she left.  Leaving him laying there weary, but unable to sleep as he pieced together the details from his flashes of memory. 

 

He'd done the one thing he knew he should never do... he'd touched Ibiki when he was suffering one of his nightmares.  His poor Koishii, he had to be tearing himself up about this... he shouldn't, he'd suffered horrible abuse, that was an area they had not been able to heal.

 

He knew very well not to touch him when he was afraid, he'd known Ibiki would lash out without knowing what he was doing, reacting to the horrors of his past that he was being forced to relive.  His beloved suffered horrific nightmares about his torture nightly and yet his brave lover accepted it and did not let it break him, he lived as if his nights were not filled with terror and pain.

 

Jiraiya glanced at the door, he really needed to see him, perhaps he would ask someone to go.  No, everyone feared Ibiki, wrongly so but he could not ask one of the nurse or orderly to go to the ANBU building just for him.  The soft knock at the door sent a surge of hope through him but the hope vanished a second later.  "Hello Iruka." 

 

Iruka smiled his gentle little reassurance.  "Hello Jiraiya.  I thought I'd come visit." 

 

Jiraiya slipped into his usual role, with a playful smile he teased, "So this is what it takes to get visitors."

 

Iruka gave a slight smile, but was not fooled.  "How are you feeling?"

 

Jiraiya shrugged as he airily replied, "Fit and ready to get out of here." 

 

The experienced instructor gave him a skeptical look, he was used to his students attempts at lies he saw right through Jiraiya's.

 

Jiraiya relented.  "Ok, a bit tired, but that's all."

 

Iruka nodded.  "I shouldn't stay long, I just wanted to see how you were doing.  Rest now." 

 

As the small man rose to leave Jiraiya, knew he shouldn't, but still asked.  "Could you... would you please go let Ibiki know I'd like to see him?" 

 

Iruka gave him an odd look and nodded.  Not long after he left Tsunade came walking in Shizune following on her heels as she rushed over to Jiraiya, after grasping his hand she calmed and tried to joke but her eyes were moist.  "You just keep doing this... are you that desperate for my touch?" 

 

Jiraiya was no more convincing in his playful reply than Tsunade had been in her attempt.  "Yes.  You know I can't resist you." 

 

Jiraiya's eyes drifted to Shizune for a minute trying to determine if his friend was able to handle him asking questions, her subtle shake of the head told him to keep it light.  "So you playing hooky?  Didn't escape Shizune this time..."  His playful banter faltered at the sorrow in her eyes.  "Tsunade, I'm ok... I'm fine, you healed me and I'm just resting." 

 

She nodded but didn't look any less haunted, after her sitting for several minutes numbly looking at where he held her hand Shizune leaned in, her confidential whisper was still easily heard by Jiraiya, "You should go talk to the nurse and she can tell you how he's doing." 

 

The somber woman rose, her hand slipping slowly from his, "I'll be right back."

 

Jiraiya watched her walk out of the room then his intent gaze rested on Shizune, they didn't have much time before she returned.  "Ibiki brought me to her..." 

 

"Yes, you'd been stabbed in the heart."  Shizune confirmed.

 

Jiraiya didn't wait for the question, just answered it.  "Ibiki did it, but it was because of what I did frightened him and not on purpose." 

 

Shizune nodded, "I know he wouldn't hurt you on purpose." 

 

"Where is he?"  Jiraiya was afraid of the answer, but she was the one person he could ask.

 

Shizune looked uncomfortable and glanced at the door.  "I'm not sure, but I believe he's at the ANBU building... working." 

 

Jiraiya tried to ignore the sorrow her reply brought, but he was sure it was still quite evident in his voice.  "I thought I heard him... but when I looked he wasn't there." 

 

Although Shizune met his eyes once more it was clear she wished she didn't have to say it.  "He left; when you spoke to Tsunade, he left." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, he was growing more frightened with every new bit of information.  Why would he leave?  Why hadn't he come to see him?  Surely he knew he was awake, but he didn't come.  Tsunade came in ending their conversation, but then the only questions he had now were ones only Ibiki could answer. 

 

By the time Tsunade was encouraged to leave he was feeling tired and more than a bit depressed.  Tsunade was here but the man who'd said he loved him wasn't... and Jiraiya wasn't entirely sure he _would_ come it had been quite a while already since he'd asked Iruka to tell him he wished to see him.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki was not surprised when Iruka walked in and stood before his desk, although he'd have thought it would be Tsunade or Shizune, the request was the same.  "Jiraiya asked me to come tell you he'd like to see you."**

**Ibiki looked over at his visitor blankly, "Give me a moment to finish this report and I will go."  It wasn't that the report needed to be done, it was likely it did need to be done but he didn't care, the reason he stalled was to try to find the words to tell his precious Koishii goodbye.  He could refuse to go, but he had to see him, had to see he was ok... this was going to hurt.**

\---------------------------------------------  

**Ibiki saw the not so subtle looks Iruka kept giving him as they walked to the hospital but refused to acknowledge them.**

**When they arrived outside Jiraiya's hospital room Ibiki requested, "Iruka could you stay in the room , I won't be there long and I'd like him..."  His emotionless mask waivered then he regained control, his face expressionless once more.  "I don't want him to be alone after we talk."**

**Iruka hesitantly nodded, he was very confused as to why Jiraiya would have to ask for his partner to come, he would have expected to find Ibiki at his side or at least only temporarily gone.  When Shizune had asked him to go see how the Sannin was... she hadn't said much more than he'd been badly injured.  She hadn't looked like she was willing to say any more and he hadn't pressed, now he wished he had.  He could see how badly the two men wanted to see each other, but Ibiki was very reluctant to see his lover.**

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya's uneasy feeling just continued to grow, when his Koishii showed up it was with Iruka.  Then it grew even more strange when Iruka came fully into the room and seemed to be waiting, watching Ibiki's face intently.

 

Ibiki didn't come more than a few steps into the room.  "Jiraiya I don't think this is going to work out, I don't think we should see each other anymore."  His voice held no emotion and his gaze was reserved.

 

Jiraiya instantly felt sick.  Ibiki's words hurt so much more than the blade that had pierced his heart, he'd never felt such horrific pain, but he just dropped his eyes afraid to look at him.  He knew he'd see his former lover's affectionate eyes had turned cold and expressionless.  "I see."

 

He didn't look up even as Ibiki left, but he did note that Iruka followed him, the weird look Iruka had gotten when he'd asked to see Ibiki made sense now.  Iruka was his new lover.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki felt Iruka leave the room behind him and as the door closed he heard him speak, "Ibiki."**

**Reluctantly Ibiki looked back, his face an expressionless mask.**

**"Why?"  Iruka's eyes were dark with sorrow.  "Can't you see how you hurt him?"**

**Ibiki looked stolidly at him for a second then tonelessly stated, "I could hurt him so much worse."  then turned and walked away.**

**Iruka slipped back into the room, "Are you ok?"**  

 

Jiraiya had 'played this game' so many times and no matter how great of agony he was in, he gave the expected reassurance.  "I am fine."  He smiled at the smaller man.  

 

Iruka looked uneasy, "Are you sure?" 

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh that was as false as his smile.  "Perfectly fine." 

 

Iruka gave a hesitant nod.

 

Jiraiya yawned.  "I'm very tired..."

 

"Oh!"  Iruka looked apologetic.  "I'm keeping you from resting... I'll come see you later."

 

"That would be nice."  Jiraiya lied easily, in truth he'd rather not be forced to smile in the face of his Koishii's new lover.  Iruka gave a wave and walked out closing the door behind him.

 

Now alone he gave in to the despair, it hurt too much to even cry, why had he survived the kunai if it was only to be brought a even greater pain.  He wished he could sleep... cry... do anything beside sitting quietly unable to escape his sorrow in a room all alone... alone, like he always was, he'd known it could not last but the end... this was so much worse than he ever could have thought.

 

Did he do something wrong?  Suddenly it came to him, yes he had... he'd touched Ibiki at a time when he was vulnerable and afraid, at a time when he knew his beloved couldn't bear to be touched.  Ibiki no longer trusted him... he did not want him.  Jiraiya knew now he'd brought this abrupt end upon himself.

 

He couldn't stay here in Leaf, as soon as he was recovered enough he had to leave, this time he'd let his friend know so he wouldn't worry her.  He wouldn't be returning, not ever again.  A throwaway, a reject... no longer wanted.  Had Ibiki been waiting, hoping for the opportunity to tell him?  Well, it was over, his beloved was free... it was hard to find any happiness for him and his new lover, but Iruka was a good person he would treat Ibiki well... and that was what was important.

 

He'd believed, once more he'd been a fool, once more he'd hoped... he'd dreamed and looked forward to the future, believed he could really be happy... such a fool.  Jiraiya closed his eyes, he didn't want to see anyone, but it wouldn't be long before Tsunade showed up again.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Over the next few days Ibiki thought about him constantly, about the love and acceptance in his beloved's eyes, even after he'd stabbed him through the heart.... about how wonderful it felt to kiss him, to feel the love.  He wanted to see him, if it was anyone but Jiraiya there may have been a chance that he could watch him from concealment, but the powerful Sannin would easily spot him.**

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lady Tsunade was almost back to her usual sassy self, but the one thing she couldn't be playful about was what happened when Ibiki had brought Jiraiya to her for a second time on the brink of death.  It had taken these last few days for her to work up to her question and Jiraiya had known it was coming.

 

Her gaze turned mournful.  "Jiraiya what happened?  I have to know."

 

He debated what to say he didn't want to throw open Ibiki's private life, but she deserved to know and understand it.

 

"Ibiki has horrible dreams."  Jiraiya began softly.  "You could never picture the suffering he goes through every night."  Jiraiya felt his eyes tear and looked away a moment reining them in.  "He's able to force his way out of them, but when he does there's a brief second where his mind switches from the terrors in his past and recognizes the reality he lives now.  Ibiki would never allow me sleep near him.  He was afraid he'd hurt me if something woke him."

 

Understanding lit her eyes, "You woke him."

 

Jiraiya nodded.  "I just reacted to his distress without thought... I not only woke him, I was leaned over him and touched him.  Tsunade it wasn't aggression, I frightened him and he reacted before he was fully awake."

 

Tsunade stroked his hand.  "Jiraiya, you are not looking good.  Has he come to see you since then?"   

 

Jiraiya knew between the fact he could not sleep soundly and the lack of interest in food had not helped but what was truly the cause was the horrible despair he felt.  He looked out the window, he was very reluctant to say it.  Tsunade would grieve along with him and while that seemed a good thing to have someone know his pain, it was not, he didn't want her or anyone to suffer for him.  "Yes... to say good bye." 

 

His gaze returned to hers.  "Sadly I can't handle it like you would Tsunade, I won't be up to drinking sake for a bit." Jiraiya teased but there was no happiness in it, it was a forced gesture.  Tsunade's eyes were sad.  Jiraiya smiled but it was hollow.  "I'm fine, I just need some time to... recover.  I promise."  But he could see she didn't believe that anymore than he did.

 

"Jiraiya please don't go, don't leave.", Tsunade asked quietly, but she knew he would, she'd seen him hurting too many times and knew he could not stay.

 

Ibiki's words haunted him, _'I will follow you'_ but this time he wouldn't, this time his beloved would not come.  Jiraiya shook his head.  "I have to... I can't stay here, I can't stand by and watch Ibiki and Iruka..." 

 

His friend looked at him in confusion.  "Ibiki and Iruka?"  Her eyes filled with sympathy, Jiraiya thought he'd been replaced, that his partner didn't love him and just... replaced him.  "Ibiki isn't dating  Iruka, he isn't dating anyone."

 

"So he isn't with Iruka, but won't see me." Jiraiya sighed, "I'd rather he be with Iruka, I'd rather know he was happy."

 

She shook her head, her eyes full of sadness.  "He's not." 

 

"Not with Iruka, not happy and not willing to see me... Tsunade please don't ask me to stay and just let Ibiki go on... No hostility, remember? "  Jiraiya urged.

 

She nodded, then looked away out the window.  "So when are you leaving?"

 

"When I'm released from the hospital."  He could see she wanted to beg him to stay again, but understood he could not, just like when his family was killed, staying here was far too painful.  Just like Dan and her brother's death when she could not stay.  This was a death too, a death of his chance of happiness, a death of his hope... 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up as Tsunade walked into his office and closed the door, his heart sank, he really couldn't take her admonishments right now.  Last night had been filled with dreams... dreams of his Koishii bleeding... dying... his eyes full of love turning empty as his life ended.**

**She sat and Ibiki's hope that it would be a brief conversation was denied.  He cut straight to the point, "I know this is hurting him, but it's what needs to happen, I can't have a relationship with him."**

**Lady Tsunade studied his face morosely, "Ibiki, this is worse than hurting him... I wish I could say don't be selfish, but I'm selfish too.  I just can't bear to lose him and I understand you not being willing to take the chance of..."**

**"Killing him."  Ibiki supplied, he was striving to keep his tone emotionless, but she could hear the anguish under his words.  Jiraiya wasn't the only one that it would be 'kinder' to kill then leave in agony and alone.**

**"He trusted me..." Ibiki looked away, the massive Jounin looked so vulnerable that it frightened Tsunade.  Ibiki had never looked so broken... except when he thought he'd killed his beloved.  She'd never forget the look on the distraught man's face when he appeared with Jiraiya.**

**His eyes returned to hers and all attempt at hiding his pain had been abandoned.  "He just looked at me... He could have been frightened, hurt, angry but he just... he trusted me.  Trusted I wouldn't hurt him, but I had.  Even laying on the floor dying, he still trusted me, he wouldn't have defended himself.  He was willing to let me kill him.  How can I let him?  How could I take that chance that the next time I will kill him?" **

**Lady Tsunade rose and walked quietly to the door.**

**Ibiki had to know, he knew he shouldn't ask but he did, "How is he?"**

**She paused, but didn't look back.  "Emotionally or physically?  Physically he is well, he'll be out of the hospital today... but I'm sure you know that.  Emotionally... if it was anyone but Jiraiya I'd be afraid they'd commit suicide, but no matter how _he_ hurts he would never hurt others by doing it.  He's used to pain, he's suffered a lot, but I haven't seen him in this much pain since his family was killed."  The Hokage opened the door and walked out closing it quietly behind her.  She had no more answers than he did.**

 

Jiraiya walked out the hospital doors and straight out the gate, he could not go to Ibiki's house and risk seeing him, nothing material he owned was worth that pain.  Anything he required he'd buy again, he tried to console himself with the fact that at least this time he knew what he'd done wrong with most of his Angels he hadn't... but he didn't lose an Angel this time, he lost so much more.   Jiraiya traveled swiftly away, he wished the pain would lessen with distance from the source, but he knew it would not.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Looking at him, Tsunade knew the answer, "Ibiki you have to take the chance.  This, what you both are doing, is surviving not living.  Tell me this isn't Hell.  I know it is because if I was in the same situation with Shizune I know I'd be in Hell... And Jiraiya is, if you could've looked in his eyes you'd know that too.  This isn't kindness, it's fear and I think what you fear is already happening.  You are alone, hurting and needing him... and so is he. I'm sure you know he left."**

**Ibiki said nothing but the truth was he hadn't known, too wrapped up in trying to suppress his sorrow and immerse himself in the old case files, he'd only glanced in passing at the gate log.  He fought down the panic that knowledge brought, "It's for the best."**

**Tsunade rose her eyes glittering with tears, but her tone was pure acid as she snarled, "Yes, I suppose it is... for you. This way you don't have to see what you are doing to him, you don't have to look into his hopeless eyes as another person in his life rips his heart out.  Tell me Ibiki, did you promise him forever too?"  Tsunade stormed out.**

**Ibiki only answered in his heart, yes... he'd promised forever, told him he'd stay beside him always.  But no matter how badly his Koishii hurt, he was alive.  If this relationship had continued, the next time he may have succeed in killing him.**

\-------------------------------------------

**It had been months now, and yet it felt like only the day before, the pain hadn't lessened but grown stronger.  All he could think about every free moment was how he wanted to see Jiraiya's loving eyes, feel his gentle touch, hold him and know all his loneliness was over.  Know that he was accepted, understood... loved.**

**He wanted to be able to tell him how his life had no meaning, no hope without him, that losing him had turned the world dark.  Nothing interested him, nothing brought even the barest sliver of happiness.**

**He wondered where his Koishii had gone... what he was doing, worried that he was hurt or sick... dead.  He couldn't bear it if he was dead, the need to know if he was ok continued to grow, the desire to see his face.**

**Lady Tsunade had been right, all those months ago, she'd known.  He couldn't survive like this... this really was hell.**

**\--------------------------------------------------**

**Ibiki walked in he didn't even need to say it, looking in his face she knew.  "So you have finally come to your senses... finally going to end the pain."  Tsunade shook her head and muttered, "Men!"  She sighed, "Ibiki I'm not even sure I should give you permission, if it wasn't for the fact I _know_ Jiraiya is still in pain..." Then she nodded.  "Go, find him..."**

**Ibiki wasted no time going directly from the Administration office to the gate, he was already equipped, he had planned on going even if she denied him.  Being a rogue nin did not frighten him, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to find his beloved.**

**Ibiki headed for the port town, Jiraiya had been about to leave the Land of Fire last time and he had no doubt he'd done so this time.  When Ibiki arrived at the port town he was not surprised that the innkeeper not only remembered him but Jiraiya as well.  The information he gave was a mix of good and bad, Jiraiya hadn't even stayed the night, he'd gotten on a ship immediately to the Land of Lightning.  The man remembered because he had asked what ship was leaving soonest and he'd thought that strange.**

**Ibiki walked down to the docks, after a few uneasy looks the dockworkers simply accepted him and returned to work.  He located the captain of a small ship and paid him to leave his cargo at port and take him to the port that he knew they'd taken the Sannin to.**

**Convincing him was as simple as handing over a wad of money, he could have bought the boat with that sum, but then he'd never had any use for money aside from the minimal necessities so the amount was meaningless to him.  The monetary encouragement got him across the waters very quickly and when the ship docked where it had the day Jiraiya had arrived Ibiki simply walked off without a word, intent on finding information about his beloved.**

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**After several weeks of traveling around the country he still felt no closer to finding Jiraiya.  It was harder to track him, he was less well known in Lightning Country and was keeping  away from others... every place he went Ibiki heard _'he stayed sitting away from everyone', 'didn't seem to want company'_ or _'He didn't speak much, just sipped on a bottle of Sake.'_   **

**The most alarming thing Ibiki heard was from one of the unlucky whores that was 'nominated' to talk to him in the hopes he'd leave after he got the information.  "Yes he was here, he didn't stay long."  Her tone said she hoped he wouldn't either.  "He was... angry, hit one of us girls then stormed out..."**

**His Koishii had developed a temper... the thought Jiraiya would hit a female left him very uneasy for the next few days.**

**Ibiki got very little information from people, and he had to fight to get that much information, the people of Lightning didn't welcome him anymore than the ones in the Land of Fire. Often they'd wait until it was clear he would not leave before selecting someone to speak  to him.**

**Once or twice they attempted to forcibly remove him, although he only defended himself the results of their efforts to 'persuade him to leave' were ones they would not forget for a very long time.  Those were actually the easier places to get information, they were quite eager to talk after 'rescuing' his attackers from him.**

**After almost two months of circling the country Ibiki was very uneasy, if it wasn't for the fact that there were people who had seen him within weeks of his arrival, he'd have feared his beloved dead.**

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya sat down at the bar, he'd paid for a room and now sat watching the town's people quietly, most seemed to remember him and avoided him.  A few showed interest, but after their more knowledgeable friends talked to them decided it would be best to do as the others in the tavern were doing and simply ignore him... except for one... a whore. 

 

Jiraiya glared at her as she walked up but her approach while greedy was not sexual.  "I have information you'd find interesting... for the cost of a few drinks." 

 

Jiraiya studied her coldly, concluding this wasn't a ploy and even if the information was worthless he could spare the money.  He gestured to a chair, she shook her head, her jaded gaze bored and held out her hand, when Jiraiya gave her the money she demonstrated she was far more intelligent than what she normally would show and Immediately started. "Four days ago a large man came here looking for you, about 6'5, stocky build and very heavily scarred.  Wore all black, no village identifiers, but definitely nin from reports.  I have heard he has been to all the coast towns looking for you and asking questions.  He stayed here over night and left to Shimayama village at dawn."  Jiraiya nodded his understanding and watched the woman turn and walk away.

 

There was no doubt it was Ibiki.  The thought he was looking for him brought anxiety and terrible sorrow, he did not want to see him.  His nights were filled with his face, he didn't need to see the cold gaze looking at him in person.  Tsunade was no doubt worried, but he wished she'd found someone else to go find him.   Jiraiya returned to his room, wrote a short letter to his friend, reassuring her he was well then returned downstairs. 

 

In the morning he would go find a ship that was returning to the Land of Fire and have a merchant carry the note back to her.  Then he'd find another ship to get him out of the Land of Lightning, he didn't care where it went, anywhere but here would work.   

 

In a horrible case of Déjà vu he heard Ibiki's voice, as well as the double dealing whore's as she pointed him out... no doubt after a bribe.

 

Jiraiya didn't look, he didn't have to he could feel his Koishii behind him like a hand on his back.  "Congratulations, almost a year later and you're still ripping my heart out." 

 

**From anyone else that would have sounded bitter, but the only thing in Jiraiya's tone was pain.  Ibiki studied his beloved, now that he'd found him he wasn't sure what to say.  How could he convince Jiraiya to forgive him?**

**Jiraiya quietly asked,  "How did you find me?"**

**"Mainly the whores... Heard you hit one."  Ibiki sat down beside Jiraiya, his Koishii still hadn't looked at him.**

**Jiraiya shook his head and gave a disgusted sigh, "I never hit her... just the bar. " There was embarrassment not well hidden in his tone.  "I may have damaged it a bit..."**

 

Jiraiya still felt very embarrassed he'd lost his temper, but he never touched her or any of them no matter how much they deserved it.  He would not allow _anyone_ to touch him intimately and when she'd fondled his cock... she was lucky all he did was strike the bar.

 

Just having Ibiki so near was almost physically painful, he wanted to touch him... yearned to be touched and to feel his arms around him...  "Ibiki, please, don't do this again.  Just leave."  Jiraiya rose and started to walk away. 

 

**Ibiki couldn't stop himself from grabbing his arm, although it prevented him from leaving momentarily, Jiraiya didn't even glance back.  "Why Ibiki?"  His voice was harsh.  "Why did you have to come?!  From the moment I foolishly woke you I've been in pain.  Hurting while you continued your life... forgot all about me.  I wasn't important and you just 'walked away', now it's my turn.  Let me go."**

**Ibiki wanted to beg for him to at least look at him.  "I can't."**

**All the anger seeped out of the powerful Sannin and his shoulders slumped.  "How can I hurt like this... you are not the first one to do this and yet I'm haunted every waking moment... I was an idiot, let you convince me you wouldn't leave me, but deep inside I knew you would.  This is what's best for you, go on find someone... be happy."**

**"I already did, but I let you go, I'm sorry I hurt you. Please come back with me."  Ibiki was growing more afraid with every moment that passed that Jiraiya wasn't going to take him back.**

**Jiraiya glanced back, his eyes dark and full of despair,  "You can't believe it's just that easy for me.  Yes, I'm hurt, I will be for a long time... but I just can't hand out my heart again.  Let me go."**

**Ibiki's hand dropped away and he watched his beloved walk away from him.**

 

Walking away was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He wanted so much to feel Ibiki's arms wrap around him.  Just the touch of his former lover's hand on his arm had made him wish to beg, to plead for his love, to promise anything to just let him stay by his side even after he tired of him again, but it had to end.

 

Jiraiya returned to his room, although he got no sleep, just lay on the bed fighting back surges of despair and waiting for the sun to rise.  It hurt knowing Ibiki was near and would likely try again in the morning.  Feeling like a errant child Jiraiya rose and slipped out the window heading for the port, although it was unlikely he could get anyone to leave tonight he could get the first ship in the morning.  He just couldn't look him in the face again, he may not be able to walk away next time.

 

**Ibiki watched his beloved as he lay on the bed, from a nearby roof, as further proof of how miserable his Koishii was he did not notice even though Ibiki made no attempt at subterfuge.  He watched Jiraiya open the window and hop out, then go down to the road headed for the port.**

**He knew he shouldn't, but he followed, he couldn't just let him go.  It was wrong, but he'd just keep following him until he could find some way to make the extraordinary man understand how sorry he was and how greatly he needed him.  He had no other choice, he would not return to Leaf without Jiraiya, and even if his beloved didn't want him he would remain near... like Jiraiya had with M** **ikomi** **... wrong and sick, but he couldn't do anything else, he needed him, needed his love...**

Jiraiya sat near the dock watching the water, although he felt no breeze the waters reacted rippling at its touch.  That was his life... helpless, stirred and disturbed by every brush.  Jiraiya looked up and sighed wearily, "Ibiki..."

 

**It didn't surprise him that the powerful Sannin had known he was behind him, "Jiraiya please don't leave."**  

 

Jiraiya shook his head, rose and started back to the inn, although he knew it would do no good.  Ibiki would simply keep following him.  _'I will follow you'_ But he hadn't, he'd turned his back on him.

 

**Ibiki took his beloved's hand stopping him, but Jiraiya still refused to look at him.  "I have never loved anyone like I do you Koishii and I will never love another."**

**At his words Jiraiya gave an agonized whimper, "Don't... don't call me that, don't do this to me!  If you care at all walk away, let me live... you're killing me.  The kunai never came as close as this... you have no idea how often I wish it had taken my life. I still think of that moment nearly every minute of the day... when I was laying on the floor was the last time I saw love in your eyes.  I wish I could have died with that as my last sight."**

**Ibiki never even saw him make the hand signs, just instantly he was gone.  Ibiki franticly prayed Jiraiya had returned to the inn as he raced back toward it.  If he wasn't there he would not stop until he found him... no matter how many times he had to chase after him he would not cease.  Right or wrong he couldn't, he wouldn't lose him again.**

**When he raced in the tavern door he saw Jiraiya sitting at the bar, he'd known Ibiki would find him and gave up trying to escape.  Jiraiya didn't acknowledge him, his head bowed over his empty cup, Ibiki took his hand, drawing him up.**

**Ibiki didn't care where he was his eyes teared, "Koishii I would do anything for your love, even be tortured again... for days, weeks, as long as necessary if it would bring you back."  His fingers brushed Jiraiya cheek and the fragile man closed his eyes, the pain on his face greater than any Ibiki had seen on his face even after stabbing him, but he couldn't let him go.  "Koishii I did not live before you came into my life and the day I walked away that life ended.  I'd rather die than loose you, I'm not living now and I can't continue just surviving."**

**Ibiki felt like kunai had pierced his heart, as he had his beloved's, at the single tear that trailed down Jiraiya's face, it's damp path following the clan marking of a clan that would end with him, the last... alone...**

**Jiraiya quietly replied, "I can't give out my heart again..."**

**Ibiki wanted to drop to his knees and beg but Jiraiya's next words gave him the first moment of happiness since the horrible day he'd almost ended his Koishii's life.  "I can't give out my heart  because you have it, you always will.   No matter where I go I can't get away from you, you're in my every waking thought and haunt my dreams.  I will return, I have no choice... Next time, if you are going to leave me, be kind... don't save me let me die."**

**Ibiki felt a chill.  "Next time?"**

**Jiraiya had a small flash of anger in his eyes as he replied, "Yes... that's why you left me wasn't it?  Because you thought you'd do it again... or were you checking out your other options first?"  All the fire in him died and he gave a defeated sigh, "Doesn't matter I will come."**

**Ibiki saw the scope of the damage he'd done to the compassionate man.  Jiraiya no longer believed it was possible for someone to love him, all his vows of love to him were now believed to be just words of convenience.  He was accepting he was coming back to be used until Ibiki bored of him or killed him... and he was actually hoping it was until he was killed.  "Jiraiya..."**

**"Would you like to leave on the first ship or later in the day?"  His hopeless resignation was shown clearly in slump of his shoulders, he looked broken.**

**Ibiki just looked at him somberly, then quietly replied, "I'd like to hold you."**

**He didn't miss the spike of pain in Jiraiya's eyes even as he nodded and replied softly, "I'd like that."**

**The two men walked up the stairs.  Once in his room Jiraiya stood looking at him with haunted eyes, he didn't touch him just waited, his arms at his sides.  Ibiki gathered him close, "Koishii... I will never be able to apologize enough for what I've done."**

**Jiraiya melted into his arms, "You don't need to... just love me...  please?"**

**Ibiki stroked his face, "Koishii..."**

**To Ibiki's dismay tears formed in his beloved's eyes and trailed down his face, then he gave a sad smile. "I will do anything for you..."**

**"Forgive me... forgive me for all the pain I've caused you."  Ibiki wished he could change what he'd done, heal the damage he'd caused.**

**"There is nothing to forgive."  Jiraiya hand came up to stroke his cheek but hesitated and was going to drop when Ibiki caught it laying it against his cheek.**

**Jiraiya's beautiful eyes held the love Ibiki had longed for since the moment he plunged the Kunai into him... and they held hopelessness.  He drew his mournful lover back to lay on the bed beside him.  "Will you hold me?"**

**Jiraiya replied gently, "I will do anything you ask."  His arm lay lightly over Ibiki and the two men lay in silence, the experience the sweetest and most painful either had felt in months.**

 

Jiraiya was exhausted, both by the strong emotions and the fact he hadn't slept well in months, he reluctantly moved away.  "I am tired... I can go down and get another room..."

 

Ibiki looked seriously at him. "Will you sleep here with me?"  Jiraiya nodded, rose and got the blanket spread it out on the floor and lay upon it. 

 

**Ibiki looked down at the fully clothed man, the sad thing was he knew if he was to ask Jiraiya would strip... let him fuck him, give him oral sex... anything, but it would only be because he asked.  He was sure his beloved would enjoy it but he no longer felt he had any right to expect anything and believed that only if he complied with his every wish would he would keep him.**

**Ibiki lay watching Jiraiya until the somber man finally slept and soon after he fell asleep as well.  It wasn't more than an hour later Ibiki woke his heart pounding in panic, but it wasn't his own dreams that woke him... it was Jiraiya's he was crying, soft little heartbroken sobs.  He slipped off the bed and lay down beside his lover stroking his face "Koishii... shhh... it's just a dream."**

**Jiraiya's eyes opened they looked desperately up at him and grasped him tightly as he wept.  Suddenly he realized he was clutching Ibiki and his hands immediately dropped away.  He averted his face.  "I'm ok... I'm sorry I woke you."**

**"Jiraiya..."  He wanted to ask what had upset him but he suspected he knew, Ibiki's fingers traced tenderly over his partner's heart.  Jiraiya drew a ragged breath and gave a little smile stilling his hand.  "I am ok... just a bad dream."**

 

Yes, a bad dream he'd been having for months... Ibiki standing in his hospital room asking why he hadn't died like he should have... angrily glaring at him as he said, _'I trusted you and you touched me...'_  and the contempt in his tone as he stated, _'It was all a mistake!  I don't love you, I never loved you...'_  His once loving eyes filled with hatred as he said, _'You betrayed my trust. I don't ever want to see you again..._ ' and so many more horrible things.

 

**Ibiki knew how it felt to relive the horror and pain... more than likely Jiraiya dreamt of his stabbing him.  He drew the cloth of Jiraiya's shirt up and placed gentle kisses over his beloved's heart.  Jiraiya gave a shocked gasp, his breathing sped and he gave a soft moan.  The sound was so arousing, bringing memories of his Koishii writhing around beneath him crying out in pleasure.   Ibiki traced slowly around his nipples and listened to his breathless moans grow louder, his lover's muscles trembled at the effort not to move.  Ibiki urged, "Koishii... touch me."**

**Jiraiya's gaze dropped a moment then his hands rested lightly on Ibiki's upper back.**

 

The thought of touching him bought visions of the Ibiki in his dream snarling angry accusations , but he rested his hands softly on his lover, his desire swallowed up by fear that Ibiki wouldn't like how he was touching him.  He walked such a thin line, any moment he could slip and he'd lose his cherished one again... and now that he had him once more he'd rather die than lose him.

 

**The light rest of Jiraiya's hands on his back brought a different kind of tremble from his beloved.  Ibiki kissed him gently, now very concerned. "Koishii what's wrong?"**

**"Please tell me if something I do is upsetting, stop my hands or move away... ok?"  Jiraiya's eyes were dark, but not in passion.**

**Ibiki felt such sorrow at the damage he'd caused, "Koishii I love your touch, I just didn't know it was you, I'm sorry."**  

 

Ibiki rained tender kisses over his face, Jiraiya gave a soft whimper pressing into his kisses but it wasn't sexual, he wanted love so badly that he felt desperate to get as much as he could,  he was frightened of being rejected... cast aside like nothing... 

 

**"Koishii, I want to hold you as you sleep."  Jiraiya looked concerned and Ibiki wondered if he was frightened he'd fall asleep... and awake violently as he had before but Jiraiya's words were far from that, they were the amazing man he knew and loved dearly.  He protested, "But you are tired too, it's not fair for you to stay awake as I sleep."**

 

Ibiki smiled lovingly, Jiraiya swore this was heaven, the love in his Koishii's eyes as they looked at him the tender soft sweep of his fingers over his cheek... bliss.  "I love you so much Ibiki." 

 

Ibiki gave him a light kiss, "I'm not tired and I want to feel you against me as you sleep."  Jiraiya nodded, and felt his partner gather him close cradling him to his body his fingers tracing soothing strokes over his back.  He hadn't felt so at peace since he was a small child, being protectively affectionately embraced... such a sweet lie.

 

**Jiraiya slept, the stress and tension gone from his face he looked so serine.  Ibiki swore somehow he'd fix things, he'd bring back the trust.  Over the next few hours he watched his beloved, gratefully holding him as he'd wanted to do for what seemed like so very long, every day that had passed an eternity.**

 

Jiraiya woke to see Ibiki's loving eyes watching him.

 

"Good morning Koishii."  Ibiki stroked his cheek and gave him a tender kiss.  

 

This love was so very beautiful, it was a lie he wanted so greatly it was like a strong hunger, but to believe it would only bring horrible pain again when Ibiki lost interest .  The best he could hope for was that  Ibiki's new lover would accept his 'services' and allow him to stay near.

 

**Slowly Ibiki watched the sorrow return to his wonderful Koishii's eyes, "Are you sure you're not tired?  I could leave for a few hours... wait downstairs."**

**"No, I'm not tired.  Would you like to have breakfast before we go?  Maybe some fruit?"**

**Jiraiya's eyes grew haunted, but his tone was light, "No... no fruit thank you.  I'm not really hungry."**

**As Jiraiya moved to get up his arm brushed against Ibiki's arousal.  Ibiki was not uncomfortable, he found it normal that his body would grow excited at the feel of his lover's.  Jiraiya's eyes widened in surprise, then darkened in desire, for a moment he just looked at the hard length straining against the confinement of Ibiki's pants.  Then he looked away and started to rise, before this whole horrible disaster happened he knew his beloved would have wished to take him in his mouth and he was sure he still did, but no longer felt he had the right to ask.**

**Ibiki took his hand and placed it on his cock, Jiraiya's muscles jumped as he resisted yanking it back.  His quick glance was hopeful, but he dropped his eyes afraid of seeing anger or rejection as he asked, "Can I take you in my mouth?"**

**Ibiki stroked his face "Yes Koishii... if you wish..."**

**Ibiki gasped and gave a loud moan as Jiraiya's experienced touch easily freed him and the hot moist depths of his talented mouth enclosed the engorged length.  The heavenly embrace of it tempting him and drawing loud breathless cries of pleasure from him.**

 

The feel of him, the taste of his beloved...  Jiraiya listened to the rapturous cries of his lover and moaned in delight around the hard length.  Ibiki gave fevered cries at the stimulation, then rapturous gasps as Jiraiya slipped down to the base and bobbed up and down on the tender flesh.

 

**Soon Ibiki could not take any more of the sweet torment and bucked into the tight grasp cumming with a howl of ecstasy.  Then he breathlessly groaned, "Jiraiya... your mouth is incredible!"**

**Jiraiya looked up watching the delight on his lover's face, he smiled and for that brief moment all was the same as it had been before.  Ibiki drew him up kissing him deeply refusing to acknowledge the spike of apprehension the taste of cum brought, but his partner felt the ripple of his muscles as he resisted backing away and broke the kiss his hands lightening even further on his upper back.**

 

He'd caused Ibiki anxiety... he had to be more careful.  He so wanted his Koishii to 'keep' him, he wanted to stay, to see the exceptional man's eyes dark in desire... hear his cries of pleasure... see the love in his eyes and feel it in his touch. 

 

"Koishii"  Ibiki purred, his mouth teasing the tender skin of Jiraiya's throat making him pant in need, shivering in pleasure and barely holding back his plea for his lover's cock.

 

**Jiraiya's breathless moans and the strong ripple of his muscles as he resisted thrusting against him  tempted Ibiki until his cock throbbed once more.  He groaned at the intensity of his lust, he'd never imagined desiring someone so urgently.  "Jiraiya I want you... please."**

**Jiraiya shivered as he stripped and lay back, his hands hesitantly urging Ibiki to cover him.  He could feel how greatly his beloved wished to grasp him and he wanted that passion.  Needed to know his lover wanted him so strongly.  "Jiraiya please touch me, show me you desire me."**

Jiraiya groaned his hands eagerly clasping Ibiki to him as he wrapped his legs around Ibiki's waist his body enthusiastically welcoming the spear of his cock.  Jiraiya softly pleaded, "I need you!" but the plea was more than just sexually, he craved every word and every look of affection he could get before it was all gone once more.

**Ibiki teased by the tight hold of his lover's body and the strong desire coming from his partner Ibiki gave in his mouth ravaging Jiraiya's throat with passionate kisses as his hips pumped into the nirvana of his beloved's body, "Koishii..."  breathlessly he gasped.  "You feel so wonderful!"**

**Jiraiya moaned loudly fevered with hunger he rocked into Ibiki's thrusts arching to take him deep.   The uninhibited passion and the sounds of ecstasy from his beloved tempted Ibiki as greatly as the enthralling hold of Jiraiya's body.  He remembered how his extraordinary lover had guided his hips and circled them. Jiraiya keened writhing beneath him and shivering in delight.  Never had his partner reacted so strongly to him it was amazing!  He didn't want it to end but the intense stimulation was growing too powerful to deny.**

**Jiraiya rocked into his stroke, arching so his cock hit his pleasure spot and howled in pleasure.  Ibiki cried out in rapture, plunging in and groaning in bliss at every strong contraction of his lover's passage.  His cock jumping in his Koishii's incredible body as he came, bucking into the temptation until he was completely sated.**

 

Jiraiya cringed inside, he hadn't maintained control, would Ibiki be upset?  He'd just wanted him so long... needed to feel their bodies joining so greatly.   Ibiki placed tender kisses up his jaw line to purr softly in his ear, "You excite me so greatly... the sound of your pleasure, the eager welcome of your body as you held me showing me your desire for _me_.  I will never find anyone like you Koishii... never love anyone like I do you."

 

Jiraiya gave a small smile, words nothing more... he couldn't delude himself again, immerse himself in the fantasy... just words.

 

**Ibiki stroked down his beloved's body, Jiraiya looked apprehensive as he neared his navel, perversely this only made him wish to continue, but he stopped.  His hand rising to cup his partner's cheek, "What is wrong?"**

**"Don't push at your boarders with me, please.  Just love me, enjoy me... it is enough for me."  Jiraiya pleaded.**

**Ibiki gave him a slow loving kiss, "I do love you and always will."  Ibiki saw the despair in his beloved's eyes, he didn't believe him... and after what he'd done he didn't blame Jiraiya for refusing to believe his vow.  "We should go shower, we need to see when the ships the Land of Fire leave..."**

**Jiraiya nodded but his eyes remained shaded with depression.  Ibiki rose up off him, then to his feet and his partner followed quietly.**

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

**END OF CHAPTER 5**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORY LINE...
> 
> CHAP 5: THE WAITING ONE (ALL THAT REMAINS)


	6. CHAPTER 6 CLOSER TO YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 6)

**CHAPTER 6 CLOSER TO YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 6)**

\------------------------

 

Now they would return to Konoha... it should be a relief, but it wasn't, it felt like he was stepping right back into the middle of the deepest part of his despair.  The horrible sadness he'd felt as he walked out with the intention of ever returning, now he was returning, but the life he'd had there had been an empty lie.  The feelings of happiness and security an illusion. 

 

Ibiki stroked his cheek and Jiraiya looked up he'd been lost thought and clearly missed whatever his beloved had asked.  Ibiki placed soft kisses on his cheeks before repeating, "I'm worried about you Jiraiya." 

 

Jiraiya forced a weak smile, "I'm fine." 

 

Ibiki hugged him gently, "No you're not, I hurt you deeply."

 

**Jiraiya just looked at him for a minute then stated, "There should be several boats headed for Fire country they have surplus of fish.  Let's wash and we can go find one."**

**This wasn't going to be fixed easily, it was the largest mistake he'd ever made.  It didn't matter that it wasn't intended to hurt, it had, very deeply and he should have known better.  Jiraiya's greatest fear was being left, every time someone promised they would stay by him, they left him... and he had too.**

**He couldn't even say he hadn't known how badly he was hurting him, the Hokage's words came back to haunt him.  ' _If it was anyone but Jiraiya I'd be afraid they'd commit suicide... did you promise him forever too?'_.  He'd spend the rest of his life trying to make things right but he wasn't sure he'd ever regain his Koishii's trust.**

 

Ibiki was quietly watching him and Jiraiya forced a playful smile, being depressed was not going to make his partner wish to remain with him.  He needed to be everything his beloved wanted, to make him happy as possible always.  Sadly that was what he'd thought he was doing before and yet it all still fell apart... just like all the others, he walked away. 

 

Of course he walked away, and he would again in time, it was just the way things went and it shouldn't be so hard to accept it... but it was.  The dreams he had nightly, a reminder of how easily his Koishii's affection could be lost.

 

**Watching his beloved he could almost read his thoughts on his face.  "Koishii... can I hold you?"**

**Jiraiya flashed him a smile, but it was as hollow as the rest, "Anytime you wish to."**

**Ibiki embraced him and sighed softly, "My Koishii... I have longed to do this, to be able to hold you again."**

**Jiraiya teased, "I'm glad I can bring you pleasure."  But there was more truth in his statement than jest.  No matter what expression he made Jiraiya's eyes told the truth... he looked at him like a abused pet that was waiting for the next strike, unable to understand why, but accepting it would come.**

 

Ibiki released him, they washed, then the two men gathered what few possessions they had and walked down to the piers.  It wasn't difficult to find a ship, just as Jiraiya had said there were many headed to the Land of Fire with their surplus catches. 

 

The trip was no more pleasant the second time, Jiraiya hated boats they made him restless and apprehensive.  Ibiki silently tried to soothe him, gently massaging his back and while it brought some comfort it wasn't enough that it was possible to sleep.  Although he couldn't sleep he could see his beloved was tired and offered. "You can rest... I'll keep everyone away from you."

 

**Ibiki wanted to protest but in truth he was very tired and the offer was tempting but what really decided it was the look in Jiraiya's eyes, he didn't expect Ibiki to trust him.  "That would be nice, I _am_ tired."  **

**Jiraiya looked away, out over the water.  "Did you stay in rooms or sleep outside?"**

**Ibiki knew what he was really asking, if he'd had the same 'difficulties' as he had when in the Land of Fire.  His Koishii was disturbed by the thought he may have been denied rooms.  "I choose to sleep outside most of the time, but I did get rooms when I wished to."**

**Jiraiya glanced back at him and Ibiki elaborated, "Many of the villagers were afraid of me."  It was just easier to be away from them than to feel their fear and know that it was the only reason they would let him have a room for the night.**

**Jiraiya's gaze returned to the water, "Sleep... I will not leave you."**

 

Jiraiya dwelled on the irony of that statement, no he would not leave... he didn't need to, others left him.  Ibiki sprawled out on the deck and closed his eyes.  Jiraiya had put great deal of distance between them but going past him was still the only way to get close to his lover.  That wasn't something he'd allow anyone to do, for so many reasons, the greatest being that the men on the boat would not appreciate one of their friends and coworkers being killed.

 

**Jiraiya still sat like a guard dog when he woke at dusk, they would reach land in the morning.  Although Ibiki was sure he knew he was awake his partner said nothing, he didn't even turn to look, just continued looking morosely out at the water.  "Jiraiya."**

**His beloved looked back and smiled, "Did you sleep well?"**

 

He had to try harder, if he couldn't 'perk up' it would end their time together even sooner.  "Would you like me to grab you some ration bars... or salted fish?" 

 

It was what the men on the boat ate, salt dried fish and while it wasn't one of the most exciting foods it was edible and better than many foods they'd ate while on missions.  Which was even more true of his Koishii, he was sure the Rain nin had not provided a gourmet meal. 

 

Jiraiya saw his beloved shake his head, the thought of the abuse his lover had endured prompted him to ask.  "May I touch you?" 

 

Ibiki paused a moment before he nodded.  This was a difficult time for his partner, when he first woke he was uneasy and he should not have asked to touch him.  Jiraiya slowly rose and walked over to sit near him but not touching.  Although his Koishii had said he could touch him Jiraiya could see how disoriented he still was and decided it would be very stressful for him.

 

**Jiraiya's every move was done slowly, carefully non-threatening, and he did not touch him even when he sat near... How could he ever have 'walked away' from this man?  His beloved was so perceptive, nurturing and compassionate, he could not ever find anyone more perfect for him.  He could never have tolerated no one else's touch much less wanted it.**

**Ibiki brushed his fingers over the top of Jiraiya's hand, the look he gave him was so loving.  He wished he could hold his precious lover but he couldn't, not yet.  Even still his partner hadn't taken his touch as encouragement to touch him and Ibiki wrapped his hand around Jiraiya's gently.  The understanding man smiled, he knew it was a big gesture.  "Jiraiya I love you.  I was such a fool to ever let you go, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you."**

 

Although he did not believe his words were true, he was sure Ibiki meant his words for now, right now he did love him.  Although that love would fade once more he did love him, for now, and that had to be enough.  He was asking too much of the emotionally damaged man to love him forever, while his beloved wanted him he would be everything he needed.  "I love you Ibiki... always.  I would do anything for you my Koishii." 

 

He would try not think about what would happen when his exceptional partner left him once more, but now he knew leaving would not help, he'd been in as much pain as if he'd stayed... Or perhaps not,  seeing him would be worse, the urge to touch him.  No, he could not think of that, for now Ibiki was his.

 

**Ibiki knew his beloved had not slept since the night before, and then it had been fit fully,  "Are you tired?"**

**Jiraiya looked sheepish. "I won't be able to sleep while on the boat."**

**Ibiki stroked his cheek.  "Then will you rest, beside me?"**

  

Jiraiya was aware of what his lover was trying to do and his smile was slightly amused, but adoring.  "Yes."

 

He lay and Ibiki lay beside him, their bodies lightly touching, he was shocked that Ibiki was touching him so soon after waking and yet he didn't seem like he was uncomfortable.  He was glad he agreed, even if he could not sleep this was wonderful. 

 

Ibiki's fingers stroked softly over his chest, shoulders and arms... it was very relaxing and Jiraiya closed his eyes enjoying the touch he'd desperately craved the past few months.  Although he hadn't thought it possible his partner's touch lulled him until he was sleeping.

 

**Ibiki looked at his Koishii as he pet him lightly, he wanted to touch his beloved so greatly and that desire swept away all discomfort the moment he'd touched him.  His wonderful partner was beside him once more, any problems could be overcome with this man at his side.**

 

When Jiraiya woke he looked at Ibiki in surprise, then slowly smiled.  "Your touch is hypnotic."

 

The sky was starting to lighten, it would be dawn soon.  Then loving gaze of his Koishii made everything perfect, Jiraiya lay blissfully content... on a boat, who would have thought.  As long as his partner was at his side there was no where that couldn't be perfect.  After a few more moments of peace Ibiki kissed him tenderly and the two men rose.

 

Soon reality resumed and his happiness faded, _'as long as his partner was at his side'_... how long would that be?  Days... weeks... possibly a few months, then the pain would continue.  This was simply a temporary reprieve. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When they reached land Jiraiya gratefully left the boat, but looking around at the port city it was nearly enough to make him wish to get back on.  This town did not bring good memories, the despair he'd felt both times he'd been here was a dense cloud that dulled everything.  Although children laughed and played along the shore the sight brought no happiness. 

 

**Ibiki watched Jiraiya as they walked through the town his face was grim... until they walked by the inn, his eyes turned sad but he smiled.  Ibiki looked curiously at him hoping he'd explain, his wonderful partner did, but what he said was heartbreaking.**

**"You first told me you loved me there."  Jiraiya's smile faded.**

**And said he'd follow him anywhere he went... that he'd stay with him always, promised he'd make every day better than the one before... his poor beloved.  Ibiki was deeply ashamed at the way he'd hurt him.  He took Jiraiya's hand and drew him to a stop, kissing him lovingly.  He had no words to give, nothing he could say was believable in the face of such a immense 'lie'.**

**When he drew back Jiraiya gave an accepting smile, banishing the sorrow from his face but he could not erase it from his eyes and no matter how light and easy his tone Ibiki could see the forlorn look in his eyes.**

 

"Would you like to eat some real food before we continue back to Leaf?"  The easy airy tone of Jiraiya's query was a lie and he was sure he was not actually fooling his lover.

 

**Ibiki knew it was probably not a good idea, he'd noticed many of the villagers did not look very welcoming when looking over at him  but he wanted Jiraiya to at least have some good memories about their return to Leaf.  "Yes."**

 

They walked down the street in the food district, Jiraiya studying the signs.  "This place looks good."

 

Ibiki nodded, Jiraiya noticed he was becoming more reserved, he wasn't speaking much since leaving the boat.  He'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the villager's distrustful glances at his Koishii. 

 

As they walked into the restaurant Jiraiya glared at everyone, daring them to speak.  Ibiki hadn't had this issue in Lightning because they feared the deadly Shinobi, but here they needed to fear _him_.  No one would look down on his beloved, no one would deny him the same rights as every other man.

 

**The host glanced at Ibiki, but his eyes returned nervously to Jiraiya.  Ibiki recognized him as one of the people who had been present for Jiraiya's threat of leveling the tavern and it was clear he remembered it quite clearly.  They would not have any problems from the staff here, the customers perhaps, but not the staff.**

**Ibiki watched the man fawning over Jiraiya, personally escorting them to one of their 'best tables' and staying to serve tea before bowing and making his escape, no doubt to warn the staff to be very cautious around them.  The powerful Sannin looked very intimidating, if he didn't know him he'd think it likely he may level a place that 'insulted them'.  But Jiraiya was too gentle, he'd never take the chance of endangering innocent people, of course the damage he could do without leveling the place or harming anyone was extensive and it was in their best interest not to antagonize him.**

 

Jiraiya's gaze swept around the restaurant before returning to meet Ibiki's, there was no chastisement or disapproval in his gaze and thankfully no amusement.  His beloved regarded him calmly, relaxed and willing to let Jiraiya handle everything as he choose.  Jiraiya was pleased down deep inside, his Koishii hadn't protested he was 'used to it' or that it did not matter... he'd accepted that it _did_ matter.

 

**Although Ibiki was truly used to peoples anxiety and hostility, it _did_ matter that they treat him with respect.  It mattered to Jiraiya and that made it matter to him.  **

**The meal went well, the food was excellent and their personal hostess was very attentive, warming the tea if it grew too cold, refilling their cups.  She remained politely, discreetly, sitting off to the side and slipping in to fix anything that was not perfect.**

**When they rose to go the hostess bowed, "It was an honor to serve you."**

**Jiraiya's stern gaze softened as her eyes lingered politely on Ibiki for just as long as she had on him while she spoke.  The interesting thing was it really looked like she meant it... an honor to serve _him_.  The thought brought Ibiki an unexpected pleasure.   **

**Jiraiya smiled gently, "Thank you."  Ibiki could see that Jiraiya's thanks was for the respect she'd gave them both equally.  It was clear she knew this as well, she bowed and returned to the back room.**

**They walked up to the front and Jiraiya paused to look at the owner. "Our hostess was a honor to your restaurant."**

**The man bowed, "Thank you, she is my daughter."**

**"Then she is a source of honor for you as well."  Jiraiya praised.**

**They walked out of the restaurant and as they walked down the road towards the edge of town Jiraiya looked more relaxed.**

**Ibiki was glad they had stopped, he'd seen the great amount of Ryo Jiraiya had left, well in excess of their bill.  If they came through this town again he would be remembered for his generosity if treated well... but he truly hoped they never see the town again.  Too many times had this town been a place of pain for his beloved... and he'd been the cause.**

 

Ibiki had been quiet since leaving the coast village, but not in a bad way he seemed to be thinking and Jiraiya left him be, knowing he talk when he was ready.  The day was beautiful and if it wasn't that he was returning to Konoha it could have been quite pleasant... but the thoughts he had of the Leaf village  were not happy ones.

 

**There really wasn't a great hurry to return to the Leaf Village and Ibiki decided he could use this chance to start to try to fix his bond with Jiraiya.  The small village they were walking through was very picturesque and at this size there was undoubtedly a tavern or place to get a room for the night.  "No one is expecting us and we really do not need to hurry, would you like to stop here for the night?"**

 

Jiraiya was not looking forward to their return, and not sleeping on the ground... well, a floor was definitely better than that.  "Yes, that sounds nice."

 

This town, thus far, did not seem to have any problems with Ibiki or Jiraiya's presence.  In fact Jiraiya noted he was drawing more attention than his Koishii was and wondered briefly if it was something he was wearing or doing that was strange to them.  His curiosity was quelled as they went to check in to the guesthouse.

 

"Master Jiraiya!  We are honored by your presence!" The inn owner gleefully greeted.

 

Jiraiya smiled, easily assuming his happy, easy going role. "This is a charming little town, my partner and I decided we'd stay overnight."

 

"Yes, most glorious!  Here's the key for our finest suite, let me know if there's anything I can do for you!"  He gushed.

 

**Ibiki had a request. "An additional bed..."**

**The inn keep smiled, "I can provide a separate room..."**

**Ibiki interrupted, "No, just a second bed..." then tempered his words slightly. "Please."**

**The man nodded. "I will have one of my staff do so right away... you could go visit our famous hot springs while we set up your room."  He suggested hopefully.  "Or visit one of our fine restaurants... I'm afraid the sun setting over the hills isn't for two hours, but I'm sure we have many other outstanding places for your entertainment."**

**Ibiki glanced over at Jiraiya, this was not his area of expertise... he hadn't actually ever been on a  vacation... and this was clearly a 'hospitality oriented' town.  This explained peoples indifference to his looks, they were accustomed to ignoring oddities and 'welcoming' everyone the same... it was their 'business'.**

**Jiraiya nodded. "We'll just leave our things in the suite and go see the wonders of your city."**

**The man flashed a wide smile. "Yes, please... enjoy!  Your room will be ready when you return."**

**Jiraiya nodded and Ibiki followed him back to the opulent room, they set their packs inside the door and Jiraiya looked over and smiled, "I'm sure you are not hungry... I know you do not drink and"  He gave a devilish grin. "I assume you do not wish to go visit the whores."**

 

Ibiki gave a small amused smile.  "No... they hold no interest.  I have a exquisite partner who is truly amazing... more than I ever deserved."  Ibiki took Jiraiya's hand drawing him into his arms and kissing him passionately.

 

Although he tried not to let it show, Jiraiya was uncertain if his beloved would be comfortable out among all the towns people and visitors... they had 'stumbled' into one of the local festivals.

 

Ibiki caressed Jiraiya's body and he groaned.  "We can't stay... and you are going to make me too excited to walk!" 

 

Ibiki gave a small smile but stepped back and dropped his hands.  "What would you like to do Koishii?"

 

Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow and Ibiki gave a soft laugh.  "Besides that."

 

Jiraiya hesitated, he wanted to go to the hot springs but there was no way he was going to ask Ibiki to bare himself in front of others or attempt to put his sensitive skin in very hot water.  "Maybe we'll just walk for a bit."

 

**Ibiki nodded, he was sure there was something Jiraiya wished to do but was unwilling to ask, maybe he'd get some indication as they walked.**

**As his partner guided them along quieter streets, Ibiki quickly realized he was concerned about the crowds being difficult for him.  He drew his beloved to a stop and stroked his cheek, "What would _you_ like to do Koishii?  Don't worry about the crowds, I want to see you happy."**

**Jiraiya flashed a small smile.  "The only thing I want, is to go somewhere where I can feel your arms around me."**

**Ibiki embraced him, perhaps they shouldn't have stopped, Jiraiya did not look like he was enjoying being there.**  

 

Walking around had reminded him of the way the people of Leaf reacted to Ibiki... no one _here_ would look at him with fear or distress and yet he still worried about someone reacting negatively. 

 

Back in Leaf nearly every second they were out his Koishii was treated like a dangerous criminal and they were going back there. Yet another reason to dread returning and now all he wanted was to be alone with his lover, to enjoy his touch for every minute possible before he lost Ibiki's love again.   "Let's go back to the inn... the room should be ready and I think I've had enough of the crowds."

 

**Ibiki knew they had not been in the crowds, they'd seen very few people for a village this size, but Jiraiya truly did not wish to be around others, it wasn't just for his sake he'd avoided the groups of people, although that was likely a large part of why.  They walked quietly back to the room, it was ready, probably was before they'd ever went out into the village.**

**Once in the door he drew his beloved into his arms and rubbed his back softly, "I wish there was some way I could change what I did..."**

**Jiraiya drew back slightly, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I really... I guess I'm tired... everything is ok Koishii."**

 

He was destroying his second chance with Ibiki... driving him away.  No, he wouldn't lose this, he had to push all these distressing thoughts aside.  Jiraiya smiled and kissed him gently. "I love your touch."

 

Jiraiya's mouth lowered to the tender scarred flesh of his lover's throat, his tongue feathering lightly over the area and drawing loud groans of pleasure from his partner.    As he teased his throat, his hands gently massaged Ibiki's back.  He could feel his beloved's arousal and it tempted him, he gave a soft cry as his cock eagerly responded and shifted his hips to avoid it pressing against his Koishii.

 

Ibiki's hands cupped his hips drawing them against his, their erections lay pressed between them.  Jiraiya studied his lover's face, but saw no anxiety so he relaxed a bit and when his partner's hand stroked down over his ass he groaned at the temptation.  "Please Ibiki... I want to feel you..." 

 

**Ibiki's cock throbbed at the sensual purr of his beloved, they stripped and he drew Jiraiya over lay on the bed beside him.  He kissed his lover's throat, teasing the soft skin until his beloved was panting and trembling.**

**He wanted so much more than the limited things they had, all the time of searching for him he'd thought about how greatly he wanted to touch him, to feel his body and hear his keens of rapture.  He wanted to try something but Jiraiya had become so timid, his abandonment causing damage that reached far down into his subconscious.**

**"Do you trust me?"  It sounded horribly manipulative and Ibiki wished he could take his words back.**

 

Jiraiya looked sincerely in his eyes, "Yes."  Physically yes, but never again could he truly believe in his heart the words his beloved said to him. 

 

**"Will you let me try something?"  Ibiki saw his lover's instant distress.**

**Jiraiya looked desperate and there was a pleading note in his voice.  "Nothing that may distress you... please..."**

**Ibiki stroked his face and kissed him, he would not take that chance.  It would be very upsetting to his beloved if he became uneasy... or even worse drew away or flinched.**

 

Jiraiya really wanted to know... what had Ibiki wished to try?  What did his refusal stop?  "Ibiki, what did you wish to do?" 

 

Ibiki looked calm, not a bit of apprehension as he replied, "I would like to kiss your body, but if it causes me distress it will cause you distress... so I won't." 

 

Jiraiya sighed he was balanced so precariously, refusing to allow him to try to move forward past his current restrictions could just as easily cause him to lose Ibiki as well.  "I would like that but if anything..." 

 

Ibiki smiled and kissed him. "I know my amazing Koishii, I will move away if I get uncomfortable."

 

Jiraiya nodded, then gasped and moaned loudly as Ibiki's mouth covered one of his nipples sucking on it, his tongue flicking the erect peak.  He was vaguely aware Ibiki had draped a piece of the blanket over his erection and as his Koishii's mouth continued down Jiraiya felt so much love for his strong intelligent beloved.

 

His Koishii's mouth easily traveled down over Jiraiya's stomach, and he howled in rapture at his lover's sensual mouth suckling and teasing the very sensitive skin of his pelvis.  Jiraiya panted and shivered the sensations so incredible it was nearly too great to bear.

 

**Ibiki listened to the ecstatic cries of his beloved as his mouth teased the silky flesh, although he knew Jiraiya was very aroused he could not see his cock and could concentrate on the seductive cries of his lover.**

**The temptation soon grew too great and brushing aside the blanket, he slipped up to cover him and pressed into the heavenly grasp of his partner.  Jiraiya howled in pleasure, teased to nearly fevered with urgency and yet his hands lay carefully on Ibiki's upper back, even as his legs came up to lightly enclose his waist his body angled to eagerly receive him.**

**Ibiki groaned, "Jiraiya!"  His lover moaned ecstatically and as he started fucking him his Koishii trembled, his muscles flexing. "Show me you want me Jiraiya, please... show me you desire me."**  

 

Jiraiya shivered wanting so greatly to give in and free himself, but afraid he'd do something wrong.   Ibiki's soft plea swept the reservation away, "Please Jiraiya show me you still love me."

 

Jiraiya cried out rocking into his thrusts, his hands clasping his Koishii's body to him in passion, his legs tightening slightly as he arched into his lover's thrusts taking him deep.  He was gasping and moaning in delight at the feel of his beloved moving within him and cried out.  "I want you... I need you!" 

 

Ibiki's moans were wonderful, the knowledge he was giving his lover so much pleasure added to his own, exciting him greatly.  That, on top of the memory of his beloved's mouth on his body, escalated his lust rapidly.  Jiraiya tilted his hips, then arched and howled in rapture as his partner's cock hit his pleasure spot.

 

**Ibiki groaned loudly.  Burying himself in his beloved's contracting passage and moaning, teased by his lover's keens he gave another buck into the divine hold sating himself completely within his enticing body.**

 

Jiraiya  shivered and kissed his throat as the final spikes of pleasure surged through him.  He lay breathless beneath his partner and his hands came to cup his beloved's face as he sincerely vowed.  "Ibiki I love you... always."

 

**"Jiraiya you are extraordinary... so much more than I deserve in a partner and I'm truly blessed to have your love."  Ibiki placed tender loving kisses over his beloved's face.**

**They lay entwined a few moments more before going to shower.  Afterward the sight of Jiraiya laying nude on his bed continued to be very tempting, but Ibiki knew they needed to sleep, it had been a long day and tomorrow they'd travel once more.**

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya flinched waking himself and darting a quick glance over at his beloved to make sure he hadn't woke him.  He mocked himself, wonderful, so now he would be waking Ibiki with his nightmares as well as Ibiki's nightmares waking him.

 

Ibiki's words from his dream continued to hurt, even knowing it was only a dream did not change that.   Why did he survive?  Why didn't he just... die?  This drama that was his life would just continue, he'd keep believing and keep hurting.

 

Jiraiya turned on his side, his back to Ibiki, he didn't want his beloved to see his tears if he woke.  It wasn't Ibiki's fault, he was only the last in an endless stream of lovers that couldn't love him... he was flawed some way.  Ibiki didn't do anything wrong, he knew his Koishii did what he needed to, what they'd all had to...  he couldn't blame him for that, but it still didn't change that it hurt... badly. 

 

He knew others found love, lived happily beside their partners... but it just wasn't possible with him.  There was something about him that drove them away... _killed_ their love for him and drove them away. 

 

Every minute of every day that passed he thought about his Koishii... had Ibiki missed him at all?  He said he did, but that was only words, the reality was he was worthless... a throw away... unwanted... and he was just so tired of smiling.

 

**Although laying still, his breathing calm, Ibiki was not asleep.  He'd woke from one of his own dreams and heard Jiraiya's distressed breathing.  It was so very frustrating to know his beloved was having a nightmare, that he was the cause and yet he could not bear to touch him right now.  Right now he just couldn't face it if Jiraiya clasped him like last time... It was his fault and he couldn't even soothe him.**

**That changed when he heard his Koishii's soft breaths turn ragged and knew his beloved was weeping.  Ibiki slipped from his bed and slipped in behind Jiraiya without a word, he held his lover and placed a gentle kiss on the side of his neck.**

 

Jiraiya flinched when he felt Ibiki's body cradle his, then relaxed into it, the tender kiss on his neck was so sweet.  "I'm sorry I woke you." 

 

Ibiki nuzzled into him. "You didn't... my dream did."

 

Jiraiya was confused. "But you're touching me..."

 

"You were crying." Ibiki answered quietly.

 

Jiraiya didn't know what to say.  His extraordinary beloved was able to come to him, even after being woke by a dream, because he was crying... "I love you so much Koishii."  He drew a deep breath and reassured, "I'm ok, you should go sleep."

 

Ibiki kissed his ear.  "In a bit... I want to hold you a while."

 

Jiraiya swore he loved this man so greatly, even if he stopped loving him he prayed Ibiki would allow him to stay by his side.  He didn't ever want to be away from him again.

 

As they lay, the warmth of his body and the slow even breaths of his beloved against his back relaxed him and he was half asleep by the time he felt Ibiki slip from the bed and immediately after was asleep.

 

**Ibiki wished so greatly he could stay, sleep beside him, hold his beloved and let the comfort of his body lull him to sleep... but he would never risk Jiraiya, it wasn't safe.  He hadn't thought he could touch him, but holding his Koishii had soothed him as well and he found it was easier to go back to sleep after getting to hold him.**

**In the morning when he woke he lay watching his lover, he wanted to slip into bed beside him and hold him but he knew he'd wake him.  Jiraiya's eyes opened the love in them was stunning, "Thank you for holding me last night, it helped."**

**Ibiki was quiet a minute, gathering his thoughts, "I'm glad... it helped me too."**

**Jiraiya's lips slowly formed a beautiful smile, "Really?"**

**Ibiki nodded, "Holding you made everything... calm."**

**Jiraiya's happiness couldn't have been any clearer, "I am so very glad, the thought that I can take away some of your distress... it's wonderful."**

**He noticed Jiraiya had made no move to get up, waiting for him to be ready... Ibiki got up, but it was to slip into bed beside his incredible partner.**

**"Can I hold you?"  Jiraiya asked softly, in his tone was the expectation that he would be denied.**

**Ibiki nodded, perhaps it was that he had not woke up from a dream, or maybe that he'd held Jiraiya last night not long after being woke by a dream... He wasn't sure why but the thought of his lover's arms around him did not distress him.**

 

Jiraiya wanted to cry this was so amazing, laying beside him and holding his beloved felt so right... it gave him such hope for the future...

 

That was a very sobering thought, there he was 'making plans' for the future... dreaming again... there was no 'future' and no telling how long he'd have this time before Ibiki left him again.  Jiraiya felt the extraordinary powerful man in his arms and he was filled with longing.  He didn't want this to ever end, he wanted to be the one beside Ibiki, his brave strong Koishii.

 

**Ibiki glanced over at him, "I love you Jiraiya."**

**At his words a surge of pain went through his partner's loving eyes before being hidden once more and the warm-hearted man smiled softly.  "We really should get dressed and start on our way."**

**Ibiki nodded and felt Jiraiya's hesitation before releasing him, it reminded him of all the times his beloved had hesitated to let him go knowing he was going to turn away from him.  He'd been so cruel to Jiraiya, so many times he hurt him and the gentle loving man accepted it.  "Jiraiya... you really are so incredible... so wonderful... you don't know how very special you are." Ibiki kissed him tenderly then rose.**          

 

Looking at his partner Jiraiya knew when it ended he would beg and plead, promise anything... Do anything just to be allowed to stay by his side.  The thought should have shamed him but he was to a point it no longer mattered and shame would not stop him from groveling, he had to stay with him.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Once more they stopped for the night, the days traveling left them dusty and Jiraiya couldn't wait to bathe when they stopped for the night.

**"I will shower after you."  Ibiki offered, as he watched him strip, his plans to shower after Jiraiya were quickly amended.  He stripped and walked in to join his lover in the shower.**

**Jiraiya looked back at him as he walked in and smiled as he teased. "Couldn't wait to get clean?"**

**Ibiki's gaze rested on the firm curve of his lover's ass a moment, "Getting clean was definitely not what was on my mind..."**

**Jiraiya's amused eyes drifted down to Ibiki's hard cock and his eyes darkened in desire, "What _was_ on your mind?"  **

**Ibiki cupped him from behind and nibbled on his throat before replying. "Something I've been wanting to do most of the day."**

 

To Jiraiya's surprise his lover turned him around embraced him and kissed him lovingly.  As he drew back from the kiss Ibiki's fingers caressed his cheek, "I've been wanting to do this nearly all day... and I should have done it long before now.  I love you Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya swore he couldn't love Ibiki more, then he'd do something like this, he was so surprising.  The gestures of love so extraordinary they melted his heart... yes his partner desired him, but he'd wanted to _kiss_ him... to hold him...

                               

**Jiraiya's eyes filled with love, "You are incredible Koishii... so wonderful."**

**Ibiki leaning in to capture his lover's lips in a passionate kiss.  Jiraiya moaned softly and Ibiki's cock throbbed at the provocation.  His partner's hands rested lightly on his back.  Ibiki moved them down to his waist, his beloved studied his eyes, then smiled affectionately as he saw it was not something that was distressing him and resumed kissing him.**

 

Although he was a bit uncertain he should, he decided he would say it anyway, Ibiki was starting to find his interest exciting and not threatening.  "The feel of your taut muscles under my hands is very exciting... I love your body Koishii." 

 

Ibiki gave a little smile. "Never thought I'd hear anyone say that before you."

 

 Jiraiya's hands rested lightly on Ibiki's waist as he kissed him, it really _was_ very exciting, the sight of his lover's muscular torso was very tempting.  "Can I caress you?"

 

**Ibiki nodded, anyone else he could never trust but he felt secure with Jiraiya, he trusted his beloved more than he'd ever thought possible.**

**Jiraiya's loving strokes traced his muscles of his chest. "Mmmm... so sexy."**

**Jiraiya surprised him with his 'appreciation' of his body, looking at the desire in his eyes Ibiki knew his Koishii really did think he was sexy.**

  

Ibiki's dark eyes were full of passion.  "I want to touch you."

 

Jiraiya felt a thrill race through him, he turned off the shower and they dried, then walked out and he lay on the bed, his arms at his sides.  Ibiki lay beside him his fingers tracing the muscles of Jiraiya's chest as he watched his reactions.

 

**His Koishii was so erotic the soft pants and moans, groans of pleasure and desire, the way his muscles flexed in reaction to the brushes of his fingers... it excited him and his heart raced.  Ibiki traced the areas that got the sharpest gasps with his tongue, sucking on the tempting areas and hearing his partner's cries grow more needy.**

**Ibiki covered his lover's erection with a blanket edge once more as he nibbled his hip bones and trailed over the silky skin of his pelvis with his tongue.  Jiraiya was panting and moaning desperately, Ibiki brushed his hand over the hidden flesh, his attention immediately taken from contemplation of the feel by the urgent keens of his beloved.**

**The sounds Jiraiya made as he nibbled on the sensitive skin of his pelvis teased Ibiki until his cock was throbbing painfully, but he didn't want to move away.  He wanted to feel Jiraiya's cock, his hand slipped beneath the blanket stroking up the length and his arousal grew at the wanton pleas his lover gave. "Ah Ibiki!  Please!"  Jiraiya howled, "I need you so greatly please!"**

**Ibiki's hand stroked the engorged flesh until Jiraiya was bowed up into his touch in such extreme ecstasy he could only wail in rapture, his beloved's excitement had teased him so hard it left him fevered with desire.  He brushed the blanket aside slipping up over his partner, the press of Jiraiya's turgid cock beneath him now part of the temptation.**

**Jiraiya wrapped his legs enthusiastically around his waist arching and keened in rapture as Ibiki's cock sank into him.  Ibiki moaned and fucked him rapidly, raising to his knees and drawing his Koishii's hips up to pierce deep as his lover howled in ecstasy.**

**His partner's uninhibited wanton cries as his body met Ibiki's in every thrust teased him higher.  Ibiki groaned and once again his hand wrapped around Jiraiya's engorged length stroking it as he thrust into the rapture of his lover.  His beloved, now excited too greatly to resist, howled in ecstasy as his cock jumped in Ibiki's hand cumming forcefully.**

**Ibiki cried out at the strength of his beloved's reaction, his passage clasping and rippling around his throbbing length as he came and moaned as his Koishii's body continued teasing him until his body was to sated to give anymore.   Then he suddenly realized why his lover's muscles were continuing to grasp him, he looked at where his thumb circled the head of Jiraiya's cock and as he released him his beloved lay panting trembling with exhaustion but the bliss on his face was the best part.**

 

Jiraiya was worn out but excitement still coursed through him.  Ibiki had never reacted so strongly to touching him before it was extremely arousing seeing his lover react to him like that, without hesitation as he stroked him... fucked him... drove him wild with pleasure...

 

**Ibiki withdrew and moved up to lay beside him his fingers stroking Jiraiya softly in affection, his Koishii was so incredibly seductive his delighted reactions to his touch... amazing! _He'd_ brought those sounds, those powerful reactions from the experienced lover, he'd never become so urgently excited by feeling his lover's body before... but as the walls came down and Jiraiya showed him all the pleasure he could experience he could easily see becoming that aroused again!**

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "My wonderful Koishii."

 

Jiraiya couldn't believe Ibiki was able to work up to this, he'd identified one of the problems and he'd been able to work on ways to overcome it, it was still far from being 'fixed' but the progress he'd made was staggering... "Ibiki you are so exceptional."  Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, "So very incredible my Koishii."

 

**Ibiki smiled, that praise was almost as fantastic as what had happened.  Jiraiya was impressed he'd been working toward solutions, and he would keep working on them until his beloved could touch him freely and they could sleep beside each other without fear.  "You make me want to do so many things... " Ibiki murmured and kissed his lover's neck.**

 

Jiraiya gave a playful groan, "You keep doing that and we won't get much sleep tonight." 

 

Ibiki gave a little smile, "That is almost tempting enough to make me continue."  He kissed his Koishii gently and urged, "Come on we'll shower... this time maybe even get clean."

 

Jiraiya laughed, "What a novel concept."

 

===============================================

 

**END OF CHAP 6**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 6: "CLOSER TO YOU" (ADELITAS WAY)


	7. ANYTHING FOR YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 7)

**ANYTHING FOR YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 7)  
**

\-------------------------------------------------

 

As much as Jiraiya wished to drag it out. the day they walked in the gate did come.  Konoha had not changed, it was as if life had just continued, his absence too unimportant  to be noticeable.  Kotetsu greeted them with raunchy teases about Ibiki and he needing private time away from the village and that it must have meant they were into some pretty kinky stuff.

 

Jiraiya gave a strained smile, he wasn't up to playing the 'happy fool' at this moment, but Kotetsu had suddenly remembered who he was taunting.  As Ibiki's piercing gaze rested on him all humor fled. "Um, welcome back."  He made himself busy, pretending to have a intense interest in the gate log. 

 

**Ibiki did not find Kotetsu's 'interest' amusing in the slightest and the 'humor' in his beloved's eyes had escalated until there was no mistake it hid discomfort.  Ibiki was having difficulty not expressing his disapproval in a physical way.  The young nin needed something to occupy his mind and he intended on talking to the right people to make sure he was kept too occupied to dwell on others private lives.**

  

Jiraiya walked in the gate beside Ibiki and awkwardly paused, he wasn't exactly sure what he was to do. Would Ibiki wish to talk to Tsunade and let her know he'd returned like last time?  

 

Last time, he'd been so happy, felt so loved.  Ibiki had said he'd have followed him if he had left the country...  Well, technically he did... almost a year after he'd left. 

 

Jiraiya forced the morose thought away as best he could, Ibiki may wish to go to the ANBU HQ.  After being gone so long he probably wanted to check in on things, possibly catch up on some paperwork... liked he'd done while he was in the hospital.

 

**Ibiki saw Jiraiya's uneasy glance at him and stroked his hand. "Koishii... would you like to go see Lady Tsunade?"**

**Jiraiya averted his eyes, although it was meant to look like he was casually looking at the market it just looked like he was nervous, as he asked, "Were you going to talk to her, or where there things you wanted to catch up on at your office?"**

 

"Koishii, you are the only important thing.  Are you tired, would you like to go home?"  Ibiki asked, his voice was full of concern. 

 

Home... Jiraiya felt a stronger sense of distress at the word.  Did he really even have one?  The house was not his home, it was Ibiki's, he was a temporary guest for as long as his lover still wanted him, but when his partner tired of him then he would be back at the inn again.  He wondered if they'd still have the room he always got, it was close to home as was possible for him.

 

**Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's cheek. "Come, we'll go home for a bit then go visit the Hokage."  Although the listless man nodded he seemed no more 'excited' by that thought than any other.  The stroll to their home held none of the peaceful contentment it had before he changed everything by trying to kill his beloved.**

**When they walked into the house Ibiki realized something that should have occurred to him before, something that brought such sorrow to his Koishii's eyes that it almost brought tears to his own.  Not a single thing that had anything to do with Jiraiya was visible in the house, he'd put away or gotten rid of everything that had 'reminded' him of his beloved.  It looked like he'd tried to erase Jiraiya from his life, like he'd forgotten him... and worse was to come.**

 

Jiraiya looked around... nothing... there was nothing left.  Like he'd never lived there beside Ibiki... like it had all been some dream that had disappeared the moment he looked away.  He numbly walked into the bedroom... no bed.  He wasn't sure why he'd thought it maybe there.  Of course it wasn't there, Ibiki had no need of an extra bed and he hadn't planned on him _ever_ returning. 

 

Jiraiya stood looking down, he was afraid to look in the bureau or closet, he knew what he'd find... or more what he wouldn't find.  He wouldn't find anything of his, not even a piece of clothing.  Ibiki had probably thrown it all away... like he had thrown _him_ away.

 

**"Jiraiya."  Ibiki stroked his Koishii's arm, his beloved stood staring at the floor... was he looking for his blood?  For the stain that should be there from his lover's attempt to kill him?  "Jiraiya... Koishii..."  Ibiki gathered his partner in his arms, his lover stood limp as if in shock.  "Jiraiya... I'm sorry."**

**Jiraiya looked at him and forced a weak smile.  "It's ok... I'm fine... I guess I am tired."  Jiraiya glanced at the bed then the closet. "I think I want to rest a while."  He gently freed himself and took a blanket from the bottom of the bureau spread it out on the floor and lay down looking blankly at the wall.**

 

He was nothing... unimportant, forgotten... he wished the numbness would stay but as the shock wore off it hurt worse than the kunai stabbing into his heart.  He should not have come back... 

 

**Ibiki felt tears trail down his face, "Koishii. I'm so sorry, please lay on the bed."  Jiraiya shook his head, his hollow smile more tragic than if he'd cried.**

 

"I'm ok... just a bit tired."  Jiraiya glanced over at his beloved and felt a huge well of distress, he leapt to his feet rushed to Ibiki and enclosed him in his arms.  "Don't cry, please.  I'm ok, everything is ok... please don't cry Koishii, please."  he pleaded.

 

Ibiki cupped his face and kissed him tenderly, "I won't ever be able to make this up to you." 

 

"Shhh... there's nothing to make up to me, everything is ok."  Jiraiya gently dried his beloved's cheeks and kissed them. "Don't be sad Koishii... my wonderful Koishii."  Jiraiya soothed and massaged his back softly.  "Maybe we should go see Tsunade and let her know you're back."  Jiraiya knew they couldn't stay there right now, he needed a bit of time to accept the fact he'd been totally erased, to accept it and go on without causing his lover any more distress.

 

Ibiki nodded.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The delight and relief on Tsunade's face when she saw him soothed some of the pain.  "Jiraiya!" 

 

Jiraiya gave a roguish grin and teased, "Miss me?"  But he knew his oldest friend could see right through his act.

 

"I haven't thrown anything yet..." she retorted, it was a running joke between them, she had often pitched things at him when they were first teamed up.  Jiraiya laughed, but inside he was just weary, too much had happened and nothing felt right anymore... he didn't 'belong' anywhere.

 

**Ibiki could see when Tsunade's eyes slipped over to meet his, she knew how badly he'd hurt him, and her gaze was more than a bit cold.  Ibiki took Jiraiya's hand, brought it up and kissed it gently, "I will let you and your friend talk, I have a few things to do."**

**Jiraiya nodded, his smile a bit strained.  "I will be here...  When you're done you can come get me."**

**"I won't be gone long."  Ibiki reassured and Jiraiya smiled softly, "Whenever you are ready... you don't have to rush, I understand."**

 

When Ibiki walked out Tsunade pulled one of her 'hidden' bottles of Sake out and poured them each a cup and after handing one to him leaned against the front of her desk.  "I worried about you..."

 

"I'm sorry..." Jiraiya felt horrible he just kept on causing her stress. 

 

Tsunade shook her head, "Don't apologize  Jiraiya."  Her gaze was serious. "You do not need to keep everyone happy, just yourself." 

 

Jiraiya gave her a wry smile. "Keeping everyone else happy is easier than attempting to..."  He gave small scoff.  "No, not just easier, but able to be accomplished... myself not so much."

 

"Have you two talked about what happened?"  Her gaze hid none of the sorrow she felt at seeing her best friend hurting so badly.  

 

Jiraiya shook his head. "No. I don't know if it would upset him."

 

Lady Tsunade shrugged.  "Doesn't matter if it does, you can't avoid talking about things just because they are distressing."  She gave a playfully, chastising frown. "Although I know you and Shizune do it to me all the time.  Sometimes the distress is worth it for the greater understanding you get from talking about unpleasant... or traumatic things."  Her gaze was sympathetic.  "He really does love you..."

 

"Yes, he's said so."  Jiraiya smiled, it was gentle, kind... and extremely sad.  "You have no idea how much I wish I could believe him, but I can't.  Love is not something others can keep in their heart when it comes to me."

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki closed the office door then stopped quietly beside Shizune.  "I put all his things away... got rid of almost everything, when he walked in there was nothing.  Don't let him leave, I have to try to somehow... fix things."  Shizune nodded, her eyes somber, it was clear she understood the magnitude of his 'blunder'.**

**He hadn't thought of how it would look to Jiraiya, his only concern had been to go find him... yet another enormous mistake in a huge series of foolish errors.**

**As soon as he walked in the door Ibiki drew the frame of Jiraiya's bed out of the closet, that was the best he could do there, he would need a new mattress.  Then he walked around the house and everywhere he looked the memory of some item of Jiraiya's being there haunted him... it was gone, almost everything.**

**The fact was he hadn't been able to bear seeing everything, it was too painful, and he _had_ tried to 'erase him', but he couldn't ever erase him from his heart.  His attempt had been in vain, the objects were not as painful as his memories.  Ibiki sunk down on the couch; his kind beloved had sat here telling him sadly about his love for Mikomi, then he'd touched Jiraiya, it was the best decision of his life.  Now he'd messed it all up, he'd hurt his Koishii so often that he didn't think he'd ever find a way to win his trust once more.**

**Ibiki's gaze swept around the room, the only things he'd really been able to find were his weapons pouch, coffee cup and the bed frame... it left him feeling sick.  He'd been so selfish, he should have never just let him go and tried to 'go on' without him.**

**There was a soft knock on the door, when Ibiki opened it, Iruka stood with several bags in his hands.  The diminutive nin's face was neutral as was his tone and he spoke briefly as he held out each bag to Ibiki. "Fish.  Fresh vegetables.   Fruit."**

**Ibiki appreciated his nonchalance and brevity, he knew it was an effort to not embarrass him, but right now he was beyond caring about embarrassment.  He accepted the bags. "Thank you Iruka."**

**The brunette gave a little smile then turned and walked away.  He wasn't sure how Iruka had known he didn't even have anything to make his beloved as a meal... and he really didn't want to spend their first night back in Kohana at a restaurant being watched by the villagers.**

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**When he walked up Shizune looked at him expectantly, but her voice held sympathy.  "Is everything... fixed?"**

**Ibiki knew looking in her eyes that she'd sent Iruka with the food, "Thank you.  As much as it can be, very little remained."**

**She sighed, "Ibiki, he thought you'd simply replaced him."**

**Her words added to the devastation of his actions.  Ibiki turned and walked into the Hokage's office.  His wonderful partner looked up and smiled when he saw him.**  

 

Jiraiya looked over at his beloved, as always his heart sped and he felt the urge to stroke his face... to feel him in his arms, he loved him so very much.  He rose to go to him, but then hesitated, he wasn't sure what to do anymore.  Would he welcome his touch here in 'public'?  Now that they'd returned to Leaf was he still allowed, or would it make Ibiki uncomfortable?

 

**Jiraiya stood and looked like he'd walk over, but then stopped his gaze drifted down to the floor, he looked so vulnerable and uneasy.  It hurt greatly knowing he'd caused the sensitive loving man to hesitate, afraid his affection would be unwelcome.**

 

He had been lost in speculation and he gasped as Ibiki's arms gathered him close, he nuzzled Jiraiya's throat and murmured, "I love you.  I wish I could erase all I've done."

 

His hands rested lightly on his lover's upper back, at his words Jiraiya stroked it gently and he reassured. "You have done nothing wrong, everything will be fine now."

 

Ibiki looked him in the eyes and shook his head, "As long as you are hurting inside it cannot be 'fine'." 

 

His beloved kissed him tenderly.  Suddenly Jiraiya realized where they were, would Ibiki be uncomfortable with having done this in front of Tsunade?

 

Ibiki stroked his cheek. "Are you done visiting with Lady Tsunade?" 

 

It was clear by his words that Ibiki knew, he hadn't forgotten, but didn't care.  This was a wonderful fantasy, nothing more...but Jiraiya wanted to live in this fantasy forever.  

 

**Jiraiya's eyes were full of love, "Yes Koishii, I am ready to go."**

**Ibiki wanted to kiss him he was so amazing, so nurturing how could he ever have thought he could leave him and be able to go on?!  The answer was he was a fool to ever try.  Yes, he'd tried to kill him and may again one day, but he wasn't really living without him, just surviving.**

**Jiraiya smiled at Lady Tsunade, "Better hide that bottle before Shiz..."**

 

"What bottle?" Shizune asked pointedly, her timing couldn't have been worse, the guilty pleasure was still sitting in plain sight on the middle of Tsunade's desk.  "I'll take that."  Shizune stated taking the bottle and setting a pile of documents in its place. 

 

Tsunade's expression was one of profound disgust, like someone peed in her shoes.  Jiraiya laughed as Shizune took on an attitude like Iruka with a stubborn student, instructing firmly.  "This needs to be..."

 

Jiraiya and Ibiki walked out leaving Tsunade pouting at her desk.  Jiraiya knew it was all an act, an attempt at making everything 'normal' again, but this pain was normal... this was reality.

 

**As he walked by his partner's side, Ibiki kept fighting his urge to stop him and hold him, he still couldn't believe he'd returned and given him the chance to fix things.  He didn't want the happiness to leave Jiraiya's face and carefully asked, "Should we go home?"  Then quickly added,  "I'll cook something for us."**

**Jiraiya smiled and nodded.  Ibiki was relieved not to see the deep sorrow in his eyes, but he knew behind his lover's smile he remained hurting.**

 

This time he'd be prepared, he wouldn't make his beloved feel bad, this was just the way things went, deep inside his heart he knew that and yet the reality hurt very badly.  Walking into the house the second time wasn't as bad, he knew everything was gone... guess tonight it was couch cushions again.  

 

Jiraiya's dismal thoughts were interrupted by his partner enclosing him in his arms from behind and placing a kiss on the side of his neck.  Jiraiya gasped, then nearly groaned, now he was aroused... still he tried to focus on the love in his Koishii's touch.  He craved that so much more than sex and there was no telling when he'd hit his 'expiration date' once more.

 

Jiraiya closed his eyes every night they'd been apart he'd longed for this, having his beloved embrace him, feeling loved and wanted.   Then he'd go to sleep and the dreams would come... horrible painful dreams of Ibiki's anger and hatred.   Lucky him, this was a new one, he'd never suffered nightmares after any of his Angel's left him, but then he didn't love them so strongly, need them so greatly... mourn them so deeply.

 

**Although he was holding Jiraiya from behind he felt his lover's breathing change, his posture now slumped and defeated.  "Koishii..." Ibiki wished he knew what to say but he had no basis, he hadn't had any relationships much less messed one up as badly as he'd done here, and he hadn't any idea how to soothe him.  "I'm glad you came back with me, and I'm grateful for the chance to show you how much I love you."**

**Jiraiya turned in his embrace and caressed his face, then cupped it and kissed him, it was a light affectionate kiss that heated rapidly as Ibiki noted his lover was very aroused.  It still thrilled him that his partner was excited by his touch and shocked him that his beloved found his body sexy.  Ibiki's hands roamed over Jiraiya's firm body, listening to his soft moans of pleasure until he couldn't hold back any more and started quickly baring his lover, placing heated kisses over the exceptional man's throat and upper chest as he removed his shirt.**  

 

There was no denying the rush he got as he looked into Ibiki's eyes, the desire for him... it was intoxicating, but always in the back of his mind hovered the voice of caution, he needed to be careful not to do anything that may distress his beloved.  He carefully unfastened Ibiki's shirt, tracing the tender scars and causing his lover's breath to catch and grow ragged with arousal.  Ibiki drew back to remove his clothes, and Jiraiya removed his own pants, then his partner drew him close once more.

 

"Touch me."  Ibiki placed Jiraiya's hand on his waist, Jiraiya studied his face feeling the flex of impressive muscles as he traced light feathers of his fingers down over his lover's pelvis.  Ibiki panted and moaned softly and Jiraiya struggled to draw back on his needs.  The ultimate tease was the way he leaned into his touch... like he wanted the feel of his body pressed to Jiraiya's. 

 

The temptation was enough to blur the line between Jiraiya's desires and what he was allowed to do.  His fingers slipped down to fondle Ibiki's balls, watching his Koishii's face intently and hearing his cries of pleasure... he rolled his balls gently in his palm as his finger stroked the highly sensitive strip of flesh behind them.  Although his lover gave howls of rapture at his caress, Jiraiya suddenly realized what he was doing, his hand drew back, returning it to his partner's waist. 

 

**Ibiki needed Jiraiya desperately, every caress of his lover's hands brought pleasures unlike anything he'd ever believed was possible and made him want things he'd never even thought of before him.  Ibiki embraced his beloved to him massaging his firm ass cheeks and delighting in the wanton moans of desire his partner gave.**

 

Jiraiya gasped and his excitement soared even higher as his Koishii rocked his hips slightly, rubbing against his pelvis and feathering lightly against his cock. 

 

"Ah Jiraiya!"  Ibiki moaned rapturously and begged. "I want you now!" His voice was husky with passion. 

 

Jiraiya knew he shouldn't do it and yet he did, kissing Ibiki feverishly pressing into the rock of his enticing erection and felt his lover firmly thrusting against his cock.

 

**Ibiki groaned, he wanted him now, here he couldn't wait another minute... but he was far from sexually experienced.  Yes, he'd been raped in every possible way... no, not good thoughts. He firmly pushed them away.  He wasn't sure he could do this... especially now that those thoughts had creeped into his head.**

**His tempting beloved moaned and writhed in his arms, Ibiki drew back slightly.**

 

Jiraiya felt his lover withdraw and his heart sank, he'd done something that had made him uncomfortable... but confusion quickly over took the regrets.  His partner... was, well there was no doubt he was uneasy, but he gently urged Jiraiya to turn in his arms. 

 

He almost froze when he realized what Ibiki was attempting.  His Koishii wanted to fuck him from behind, but Jiraiya knew the memories that haunted him of the savage brutalization that was done to him.  He could feel his lover's muscles quiver, and did the only thing he could to reassure him, leaning back into his arms and moaning in delight.  His partner's arms wrapped around Jiraiya's waist and he stroked them making blissful groans that did not need to be forced at the feel of his beloved's body cupping his.

 

**Ibiki felt the flex of his partner's muscles as it became clear to him what Ibiki was doing, they tensed then relaxed.  Then Jiraiya's whole body melted into him, his beloved whimpering in excitement at the feel of him, and it helped... this was nothing like what had been done to him.**

**His Koishii groaned softly, rocking his hips to rub the tempting part of his ass against Ibiki's swollen length.  It was  a very welcome distraction from his thoughts and his lover's delighted moans at every small shift of his hands made Ibiki's cock pound wickedly in desire.  Ibiki slipped his hand up, positioning his aching length, but he was still very uneasy.  Jiraiya rolled his hips, lightly brushing the hot tight entrance to his incredible  body against the engorged head coaxing him further and cautiously he pressed.**

 

Jiraiya felt the timid nudge of his beloved's erection and fought against bucking back into the rigid flesh his body ached for... no, this had to be his lover's decision, he could not put pressure on him.  He cried out in ecstasy as the wide head pierced through the ring of muscles and slowly sank in.  Jiraiya lay his head back on his partner's shoulder panting, "You feel so good Koishii!  So amazing!"

 

**Ibiki heard his lover's breathless delight and his uncertainty eased a bit, then vanished as he felt his beloved's muscles quiver, the sensual man moaned and exclaimed, "Koishii, I love the feel of your sexy body lovingly cupping mine!"**

**_'Lovingly cupping'_ ** **... his body embracing his beloved's, yes, it felt incredible!  Ibiki slowly began pumping into the nirvana of his partner's body.  Jiraiya's rapturous wails soon had him so urgently fevered with lust, all that mattered was the surges of pleasure and the fevered cries of his lover.**

**As Ibiki's climax neared, his gaze dropped to where his beloved's hand stroked himself and his hand wrapped around his partner's bringing howls of excitement with the next stroke and triggering Jiraiya's strong orgasm.  Ibiki's fevered moan's quickly joined his partner's as the rippling muscles teased him into completely sating himself within the depths of his seductive lover.  The sensation of sinking deep into him so heavenly it brought tears to his eyes, and even after they'd come Ibiki continued to hold him raining passionate kisses over his neck and gave low pleasured groans.  "My Koishii... so extraordinary, so incredible like an Angel."**

 

Jiraiya's breath caught and he barely stopped the pained whimper, an Angel... a temporary pleasure ... that's what he was...  only he wouldn't  fly away, he'd be tossed aside... valueless.

 

**Ibiki withdrew turning him towards him and gathering him tenderly in his arms, gently kissing his beloved, he was such a fool.  To call him an Angel was so cruel, it was hard to believe it could be an accident, but it was... and he was a damn fool.**

 

Jiraiya struggled to hide the despair he felt, but Ibiki could see he was upset and tried to reassure him.  "Koishii, I love you so much I want to spend the rest of my life beside you, to wake up every morning to see your face." 

 

Jiraiya forced a small smile, his lover was doing his best and it wasn't his fault... it just wasn't possible for people to stay in love with him.  He must remember this was all temporary, as greatly as he loved Ibiki this would end just as all the others had.

 

**Ibiki wanted so badly to change all he'd done... turning his back on his beloved, all the blunders he constantly made... _'you don't have to look into his hopeless eyes as another person in his life rips his heart out'_. **

**Tsunade had been right about everything and he'd been wrong, so very wrong to think he could live without him.  "Come... we'll shower and I'll cook for us... unless you'd like to go out?"**

**Jiraiya smiled and shook his head, "I don't think anyone could match your cooking, I better not let anyone know or soon I'll need to make reservations just to eat your food." Although he now looked his playful self once more his eyes told the truth, they always did... his beloved was hopeless and weary.**

**"Jiraiya, I'm so very happy here with you, without you this is just a house, now it's home once more."  At his words some of the depression eased from his lover's eyes.**

Jiraiya watched Ibiki's muscles flex as they walked into the shower, his Koishii was incredibly sexy, he was sure there was many people interested in him that would soon make their move.  The thought made him want to touch his beloved, to feel his skin against his and know he wanted him... only him.  Or was there already someone in the back of his mind that he had an interest in?  No, he'd come after him... a year later, he may have even had a lover during that time.  Jiraiya shoved the thought aside, it didn't matter all he could do was wait, be grateful for his love right now.

 

**When Ibiki glanced back, the look on Jiraiya's face brought back Shizune's words, _'he'd thought you'd simply replaced him.'_   Ibiki looked seriously at his extraordinary partner. "There was no one else, you were in my thoughts constantly.  I do not desire anyone but you... do not wish to touch them or be touched by them only you." He drew his gentle Koishii into his arms again, "I cannot hold you enough, the feel of your touch brings me such happiness."**

 

Jiraiya studied his beloved's face, memorizing the love in his eyes, trying to stay in this moment where he was wanted.  "It would not matter... I love you, nothing can ever change that.  I will _always_ love you no matter what happens."

 

**Ibiki easily heard the plea of his partner in his words, his beloved wanted to be loved so greatly and was certain he'd be tossed aside once more.  "Koishii, I will spend the rest of my life trying to heal all the pain I've caused you."**

**Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "You have done nothing wrong... Please, just love me now."**

**"Now and for the rest of my life." Ibiki vowed, then kissed him tenderly.**

 

Jiraiya hid the surge of sorrow that swept through him.  He'd heard those words so many times... _'I will always love you'... 'I will never leave you'...' you are the only one I've ever loved'..._ so very many times.  He smiled at his beloved, but his heart hurt so badly. 

 

**Ibiki hugged his lover close and nuzzled his throat, "Koishii... I never wanted to hurt you, but I have so many times.  I do not deserve someone as wonderful as you, I am blessed to have your love."**

**Jiraiya gave him a playful smile that did not reach his eyes.   "Blessed, hmm?  Let's shower, then I can watch you make me an incredible meal."**

**Ibiki swore he'd fix this somehow, tomorrow he'd go visit Lady Tsunade as Jiraiya's best friend she was his best hope, he could not leave his beloved hurting like this.**

 

\-------------------------------

 

After a quick shower and redressing they walked into the kitchen and Ibiki pulled out the fish and started preparing it.  Jiraiya looked in the corner, the stool he used to sit on to watch his Koishii cook was gone... he wasn't sure why it surprised him... and hurt.  He just leaned back against the wall there and quietly watched his lover.

 

**Ibiki turned to get a spice from the cabinets and saw his partner leaning against the wall, his eyes slipped over to were a stool used to be... Jiraiya stool was gone, it was one of the things he could not bear to see.  The place where his beloved had always sat smiling happily and playfully teasing him.  Ibiki walked over to his lover and took his hand. "I'm so sorry, I can't believe what a fool I was... We can go get a stool and other things you will need tomorrow."**

**Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "It's ok, I'm fine."**

**Ibiki shook his head took his hand from his cheek and kissed it, continuing to hold it he answered, "No, it's not ok... I hurt you so very much and I'm still hurting you with all the foolish things I've done."**

 

Jiraiya gave a soft sigh, he could not deny so many things hurt, but his beloved hadn't done anything wrong... it was just the way things went and he should be able to accept that.  This wasn't unexpected, not really, he hadn't known _when_ it would end but he'd known it _would_ end.  "Please don't worry, I don't need you to buy anything Koishii, all I need is you."  He cupped his partner's head and gently drew him into a kiss then murmured, "We are going to burn the food."

 

Reluctantly Ibiki drew back, Jiraiya smiled tenderly and caressed his neck, "You are not a fool, you are extraordinary and I don't need anything but you Koishii."

 

\----------------------------

 

**The meal was quiet and a bit awkward, Ibiki wanted all the little bits of pleasure that he'd so foolishly 'thrown away'.  He wanted the closeness, the laughter, the relaxed peace and comfort.  But now so many things had changed and he wasn't sure if they'd ever get that back.**

 

Jiraiya watched his Koishii as he ate, the food was excellent, but his lover seemed lost in thought and didn't eat much. 

 

As Jiraiya helped clean up after the meal he tried to interject some of the playful humor they'd once had but it was forced and he stopped trying.  His beloved being withdrawn was his fault, he was making him feel bad by still reacting to the things that had changed, reacting to all the things that were thrown away months ago.  This was selfish, he needed to stop making a 'big deal' about the changes and accept the way things were now, enjoy his amazing partner instead of wallowing in self pity. 

 

Jiraiya stroked his hand softly, "It has been a long day, can I lay with you and hold you until we get tired?"

 

**Ibiki smiled, "That would be wonderful."  He knew Jiraiya remained hurt, that had not lessened, but his sweet beloved's gaze only held love as they lay together on the bed.  Ibiki lightly stroked his lover, tender caresses not meant to arouse, but to show his Koishii how greatly he treasured him.**

**Jiraiya smiled affectionately, "Your touch feels so good, so relaxing..."  His eyes held true humor as he teased,  "Your magic touch even put me to sleep when on a boat!  So I suppose I'd better make myself a place to sleep before you lull me to sleep right here!"**

**His beloved hid it so well that if Ibiki hadn't know how greatly this hurt him it would have seemed like this was not unusual... being made to sleep on the floor once more, his bed gone.**

 

As Jiraiya rose so did Ibiki, his  lover was watching his face with concern, but Jiraiya was determined he would not show any of the pain he felt and locked it up inside.  He remained smiling happily as they placed the cushions on the floor... Like they had so long ago... before the beautiful fantasy of living together.  Then he took a blanket and stripped to his pants.  He felt a flash of  amusement as he saw his Koishii's eyes rest on his body for a few seconds as if mesmerized, then they lifted to met his eyes. "You have no idea how sexy you are."

 

Jiraiya stroked his face.  "Thank you Koishii, that's what I think when I look at you.  Now we should get some sleep before I give in to the temptation to feel your body against mine."

 

**Ibiki smirked and nodded, but added. "Or I kiss you, hear your enthralling cries, and decide I'd rather feel you than sleep."**

**The tease was just that, playful gestures Ibiki knew his lover was very tired, and so was he.  Both men lay down and after listening to his Koishii's relaxed even breaths for a bit he fell asleep.**

**\-----------------**

**They had not been sleeping long before Ibiki was woke, the sound of his beloved's pained whimper instantly waking him from his own personal Hell... his heart was still racing as he listened to his lover.  He could tell by his breathing that his Koishii was still asleep and still caught in his nightmare.  He should wake him but he wasn't sure how he'd react if Jiraiya grabbed him like he had the first time he'd woke him from a dream.**

**That ceased to matter when he heard Jiraiya's soft cry, then his shoulders shook as he wept.  Ibiki rose and walked over to wake him and comfort him, but as he looked he saw his cry must have jolted him out of the dream... he was lying on his side trying to hide that he was weeping.  Ibiki's eyes moistened, he sat near him rubbing his back.  How could his extraordinary lover ever trust him again, every night he dreamt of the horror of having him attempt to kill him.  "You have no idea how greatly I regret hurting you... I should not have kept a weapon near... "**

 

Jiraiya rolled onto his back and looked up at him, his beloved still thought he was upset by being stabbed... while it wasn't 'fun', the part that hurt the most was Ibiki's brief good bye in the hospital.  His dreams were not of being stabbed, but having his whole world ripped apart and the lie that he was loved shattered.  He wiped away his foolish tears, he felt bad he'd woke his partner.

 

"Shhh... Ibiki..." Jiraiya soothed softly and slipped up to seated, but did not touch him, he wasn't sure he'd wish to be touched.  "No, Koishii, I don't... the accident..." Jiraiya lacked the words to explain without telling him what he _did_ dream about, he didn't want his beloved to feel bad for leaving him, it was natural.  "I do not dream of the accident."  At Ibiki's skeptical look he added, "That doesn't haunt me, not awake or asleep."

 

**Ibiki felt very uneasy, if it wasn't the stabbing then what?  He asked gently. "Koishii... what do you dream?"**

**Jiraiya looked pleadingly at him, "I don't wish to say.  Please, don't ask that."**

**If he insisted his partner would tell him, even though he didn't wish to, and he had no right to insist on something like that... but if he didn't know what they were about he couldn't help him.**

**He finally concluded that he couldn't deny the desperate entreaty in his beloved's gaze.  "I won't ask Koishii."**

**Jiraiya looked down at his hands with longing, Ibiki could see his desire to be held, to touch him... it was a feeling he knew well.  Reaching over, he enclosed his lover in his arms and felt the strong secure grasp of his partner embrace him as well, the acceptance and adoration in the warm embrace soothed him.**

**Jiraiya sighed, "I'm sorry I woke you up."**

**Ibiki shook his head.  "I'm not, my dream was not pleasant..."  But then they never were, only varying degrees of horror.  "I want to hold you while you sleep."**

**Jiraiya looked like he was going to protest, but then nodded.[/b]**

 

He couldn't help wanting that so very much, to feel the comfort of his touch. "Not all night, you need to sleep too."

 

**Ibiki smiled, "Ok Koishii."  He continued to hold him long after his lover slept once more.  His beloved's terrible dreams had to be about the stabbing.  What else could it be that brought such pain and fear?  His compassionate partner wouldn't admit it because he did not wish him to feel bad.  He had to talk to him... tell him again he was so sorry about stabbing him, promise he would never keep a weapon near while he slept.**

**It had become a habit after escaping his captors to never be without a weapon in easy reach, he just hadn't ever thought.  After that terrible event, even while Jiraiya was gone, he never kept a weapon near while he slept.  It was distressing to be without one, but not as distressing as the memory of his beloved laying on the floor his kunai sticking out of his chest as he bled bright crimson blood... Ibiki's morose thoughts occupied him through the remaining night.**

 

When Jiraiya opened his eyes, it was to see his partner's loving eyes gazing down at him.  This was so very precious, a memory he'd cherish when Ibiki tired of him and sent him away... Sent him away like in his dream, he looked away unable to meet his partner's eyes as he tried to hide his pain deep inside.

 

**Ibiki saw the flash of hope in Jiraiya's eyes, then despair as he quickly averted his face.  When his lover looked at him once more all but a deep sadness had been hidden, no matter how he tried his Koishii was too open and honest to effectively hide his feelings.**

 

Jiraiya gave his beloved a smile, but inside he felt fear... never knowing when it would suddenly end and Ibiki would send him away.  "I could make us some breakfast, although I'm nowhere near as an amazing cook as you."

 

**Ibiki stroked his face tracing the brilliant red stripes, he swore they had grown wider in just the time they'd been together and he doubted he was mistaken. _'Every day from now on I plan on trying to may you happier than the day before'_... he'd broken so many promises to his gentle partner.  "Thank you.  But I do not eat breakfast, I will sit with you while you eat.  We have fresh fruit."  **

**A flash of sadness went through Jiraiya's eyes at the offer, "No, I think I'll just have some coffee.  I don't wish to keep you from work."**

**Ibiki stroked his back, "I wish I didn't need to go."**

**Jiraiya gave a genuine smile, "You are very important, I would not expect you to ever stay here for me.  Go... protect the village Koishii."**

**Ibiki was relieved to see his lover's sorrow ease, and smiled fondly as he protested. "I'm not that important, I'm sure Kakashi has done a wonderful job covering for me... and is eager to give that desk back.  Return to his carefree ways.  What will you do today?"**

**Jiraiya's smile faltered a second, but he replied lightly. "I'm sure I can find something to occupy my day."**

**\-------------------------------------------------**

**Ibiki only stopped by his office for a moment, to ask Kakashi for a favor.  "Would you mind covering the morning mission and patrol. I need to talk to Lady Tsunade."**

**Kakashi nodded, his astute gaze said he knew why, he replied placidly.  "When you return I'll brief you on all that is ongoing."**

**Ibiki gave him a thankful look then walked out to go see the Hokage.**

**\---------------------**

**As Ibiki walked in it was clear this was not going to be an 'easy' talk.  "I need your help... I'm not sure how to fix this, how to reassure Jiraiya."**

**Lady Tsunade's eyes glittered, now that she didn't have to hide her anger from Jiraiya it was written in every stiff movement she made, acid in every word she spoke.  "Remember your words... I do. _'I will not hurt him.'_   I have only seen him hurt worse one time in his life, after he lost his family."**

**Ibiki did not attempt to defend himself, nothing he could say could excuse what he'd done to his lover.**

**"Now you want me to tell you how to 'fix this'..." She shook her head and growled, "At this point I'm not sure you have what it takes!  What about the next time something goes wrong?!  Will you toss him aside once more?  A year Ibiki!  You left him hurting and alone for a year!"  **

**She shook her head once more and looked away, out the window over the village.  All anger seeped from her and Ibiki could see how greatly he'd hurt her as well.  She'd trusted him, believed in him and he'd hurt the man who was as close to family as she had.**

**"How you can fix this..."  She continued quietly, "I'm not sure what to tell you, you shattered his trust.  Do all you can to show him he is important, that he is special... that he is the one you'll need forever.  I'll do what I can, he can't stay hurting like this."**

**Ibiki nodded, he lowered his guard and replied somberly.  "He is the only one and I can't lose him."  **

**The Hokage's gaze softened, "I know, we just have to help him see that."  Then her gaze sharpened once more and she stated viciously. "If you _ever_ hurt him again I swear I'll make you regret every second of the rest of your life... which won't be very long."  **

**Ibiki didn't blame her, she'd almost seen Jiraiya killed twice and now seriously wounded inside by his betrayal of his vow to never leave him, all in less than 2 years.  "I understand."**

**Her flair of temper over, she sighed, "I will do what I can."**

**"Thank you." Ibiki turned and walked out closing the office door quietly.**

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya walked through the village, just drifted, a ghost... unnoticed, everyone busy with their lives.  Laughing, loving... looks of love and caresses of affection, perhaps he shouldn't have come into this part of the village.  It was better to stay where the other single nin were, better to not see all he'd never have, his days were empty. 

 

Although he could write, the publishers were always elated when he'd turn in a new novel, he couldn't find the heart to watch the happy frolic of the young ladies.  

 

The need to fill his day soon drew him to looking for his former lover, M **ikomi... it wasn't that he really wished to see _him_ , but ** that the 'drama' of the young man's life may be inspirational.  With the rapid way his former Angel went through partners, it did not surprise him to see the young nin had a new one, it had been a year after all. 

 

**Ibiki remained looking at the patrol report a few minutes longer than necessary as he told himself his anxiety was unfounded.  Yes, Jiraiya had started watching Mikomi again, but it didn't mean anything.**

**After all he'd done to hurt his beloved... even the young man had not caused Jiraiya the pain he had.  Was his Koishii thinking about the past... wishing he had not returned?**

**Kakashi remained waiting, it was his patrol report and having turned the report in he was done for the day.  He'd spent the morning briefing Ibiki, then took his standard patrol assignment, he'd been indispensible, no one could have covered his job so perfectly.**

**"You can have tomorrow off... thank you."  Ibiki set the report down and looked up into the bi-color gaze.  Whenever Kakashi came in he'd remove his mask, often his Hitai-ate as well.  Ibiki was one of very few people who'd ever seen Kakashi's face.   The quiet nin simply watched him a moment more then slipped his mask and hitaiti back on and walked out.**

\---------------------------------------

 

At the time Ibiki usually left work, Jiraiya arrived outside the ANBU building.  His partner  hadn't noticed him yet and Jiraiya waited and watched, studying the interaction between Ibiki and the other nin.  He was  trying to determine who Ibiki's next beloved would be so he could find some way to get them to at least accept his presence nearby.  If Ibiki's new lover objected to him Ibiki would insist he stay away, he couldn't bear that.

 

Would it be one of his ANBU?  A romance built on the fact they shared a common lifestyle and understood the other in ways Jiraiya was unable to... or a sexy petite type like Iruka, someone that would make him feel protective and needed.  It could even, possibly, be a female... someone he wouldn't feel the threatening press of an erect cock from when he embraced them.  He hoped not, a female was much less likely to accept his presence, they wanted family and security... the traditional relationship and he didn't fit anywhere in that plan.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

**As they walked home Ibiki was lost in thought, he wondered if someday he could let Jiraiya fuck him.  The idea did not bring immediate horror like it once would have... strong anxiety and a great deal of aversion to the idea but... the way he felt when his Koishii touched him.  It was like the actions he did were not the same as the ones in his memories, the incredible pleasure his partner gave him with every touch of his fingers was astounding.**

**He was very sure Jiraiya wasn't a 'uke'  the first time they'd kissed, the passionate man had started out very dominant but he'd adapted for him.  Became gentle and let him always set the limits... What would his beloved be like if there were no limits on him?  Ibiki had a strong feeling he was an exceptional lover, but it didn't change his feelings about being fucked.  No, possibly one day but it was not even something he could conceive doing at this point.**

**It would be a huge gesture of trust.  Jiraiya would know he was serious in his love for him.  If it didn't bring such extreme distress to think about attempting... he didn't think there was any way he could ever relax and accept it.  Ibiki sighed, his beloved was so stifled by him, always having to be so careful.  Why wouldn't he consider the admittedly attractive young man, free to do whatever he wished without worrying about controlling himself, it had to be very tempting.**

 

Was Ibiki starting to draw away?  Was he losing interest?  His lover had barely looked at him as they walked and by the time they reached his partner's house Jiraiya's heart was pounding rapidly.  He couldn't lose him so soon!  They walked into the house and he paused awkwardly.  He needed to remember this was not his home, although a few... very few, of his things were there now he'd 'lost it' before and would again when his Koishii found someone else, then it would be their stuff in the place of his.

 

**Ibiki looked over at Jiraiya intending on asking what he'd like for the evening meal, but all thought of meals was swept away by the despair in his beloved's eyes for that instant before it was hidden once more.  Ibiki drew him into his arms kissing him tenderly, then stroked his cheek.  "Jiraiya you are the most important person in my life the precious treasure that makes my life... complete."**

**Jiraiya forced a smile, "You are everything to me Koishii.  I suppose we should go make a meal..." His eyes softened and filled with affectionate amusement. "Well, I guess I'm not really much help."  The humor died. "You don't really need me... in there."**

**Ibiki hugged him close, "I need you everywhere.  I need your love and your touch, I need your humor and bravery... I need you in so many ways."**

 

Joy flooded him and he couldn't help the tiny flash of hope, he wanted it to be true.  Jiraiya looked down attempting to banish the tears from his eyes, but he couldn't hide it in his voice, "That was beautiful Koishii." 

 

Ibiki cupped his chin, "I meant it, I need only you, my life is empty and filled with hopelessness without you, the worst decision I ever made was let you go.  I love you." 

 

Jiraiya sighed softly, even if it was only temporary, he hungered for this so greatly.  He embraced his beloved  tenderly, "I will do anything for you." 

 

"All I need is your love." Ibiki replied softly as his hands caressed his back, his beloved's touch was soothing, some of the darkness in his heart lightened. 

 

"You have that always Koishii, my heart is yours."  Jiraiya embraced the illusion of hope, if only briefly, and gave a genuine smile.  "I suppose we should make a meal."  He could feel Ibiki's body pressed to his and it was far too much a temptation.  He brushed a gentle kiss over his partner's lips if he gave in to the urge to touch him... to taste him and hear his ecstatic cries... If he did they would not be eating for some time and the longer he stayed with his body against his lover's the more tempting the idea became.

 

Ibiki released him and stepped back his eyes held a flash of amusement ... and desire.  "Yes, I suppose we should." 

 

**Ibiki studied his lover's eyes, thinking on Jiraiya's words about not needing him to come into the kitchen and help, "I can teach you to cook this dish."**

**Jiraiya smiled, "I am willing, although I'm quite sure you will always be a better cook than I, you have a talent for putting just the right things together."  Ibiki drew him over and they prepared the ingredients.**

**When the dish was prepared, he asked.  "Can you get me the ginger from the cabinet?"  Jiraiya nodded and got the spice and he added it, it was the last needed ingredient.  "Now it just steams a few more minutes and then I'll make the sauce."   He stepped back and felt his lover against him for a second, he wasn't used to someone being beside him while he cooked and had bumped into him.  His intuitive beloved had moved back immediately, but Ibiki realized in that moment he'd felt not even a touch of discomfort at the feel of his lover behind him.  "Jiraiya, I want you to hold me from behind, please."**  

 

Jiraiya moved the few inches closer and carefully touched his back looking for signs of anxiety or distress in his beloved's posture.  When Ibiki did not stiffen,  he stroked his partner's back lightly before embracing him from behind, their bodies just barely touching.  His lover leaned back into his embrace and Jiraiya gave a strong shiver.  Anxiety and pleasure warred within him, he wanted this... needed to feel his Koishii's trust and love... but if his partner was pushing at his boundaries simply to please him then it would only bring resentment in the end and he did not want to lose his beloved any sooner than he had to.

 

Jiraiya gently nuzzled his ear, intending to ask if he was ok, and was surprised by the aroused groan it brought.  His cock eagerly flushed hard at the sound and he quickly let go of his Koishii nearly leaping back. 

 

**Ibiki couldn't believe all the amazing ways his lover could touch him, at his murmur of pleasure he had felt Jiraiya's cock harden, but for less than a second as his partner immediately released him putting distance between them.  When he turned to look at him, his beloved was standing watching him, his body in a non-threatening position with his hands at his sides.**

**He was surprised, the brief press of his Koishii's cock hadn't brought the powerful anxiety it once had.  And now that he looked back at earlier, he hadn't felt any strong distress at his lover's touches or the feel of his erection when they'd been having sex.  He'd enjoyed the feel of their bodies touching and wanted more.  Jiraiya looked uncertain, he was studying Ibiki's face almost anxiously.**

**"Koishii, everything is ok." He drew Jiraiya into his arms, the press of his partner's arousal against his stomach was not pleasant but easily dismissed as Ibiki concentrated on reassuring his lover.**

**Jiraiya gave an accepting little smile, then teased. "You are going to burn the food."**

**Ibiki leaned in and kissed him tenderly, then replied. "If I do then we'll go out to eat."**

**His need for Jiraiya now was a strong need for his beloved's touch, not just sexually... the comfort and affection in his touch, the feel of his loving caresses brought such peace and joy.  "I love your touches, Koishii the feel of your hands makes me feel such happiness."**

**Jiraiya kissed him, "I feel the same way."  Ibiki drew his partner forward as he returned to cooking, enjoying the feel of his beloved at his side.**

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

The meal was terrific as it always was... always _had_ been.  Jiraiya helped clear the table and clean up, the familiar routine was relaxing, but also a reminder of all he had lost and would lose again.  Ibiki turned from putting the last pot away and embraced him.  Jiraiya was startled by the sudden gesture. but quickly relaxed into the exquisite feel of his beloved's arms.

 

**When he'd turned he'd seen the sorrow unhidden in his lover's eyes before he hid it and couldn't bear the sight of his Koishii's pain and the knowledge it was he that had caused it.  Holding his partner tenderly cradled to him, he nuzzled his throat.  "You are so incredible, so precious to me."**

**Jiraiya's breath caught at the affectionate nuzzle and he gave a sheepish smile. "I can't help being turned on at the feel of you."  Ibiki's hand slid down his partner's body to his hip, Jiraiya's smile disappeared, although his eyes filled with desire they also held concern.  "Don't do anything you don't truly wish to do."**

 

Ibiki's gaze was certain. "I wish to."  He nodded acceptance, and tried to hold back his whimpers as his beloved's fingers stroked softly over his cloth covered erection.

 

**Ibiki was a bit surprised at the way that light bush had left his lover trembling, his cock now straining at the fabric of his pants.  He stroked his hand a bit firmer over the trapped length, then cupped it feeling the size of his partner's erect cock brought an uneasy feeling, but he did not lift his hand.  He'd been so aroused all the other times he'd touched Jiraiya's erection... fevered with need and without that powerful lust the feel of his lover's the hard flesh beneath his hand was a bit disturbing.**

**Jiraiya moaned, his eyes dark with desire, but he made no move to touch him.  Ibiki needed his touch, a reminder that it was his gentle beloved who he was touching.  "Koishii touch me, I need to feel your touch."  His partner stroked his back softly... Ibiki gave a low moan, his hands left the swollen length, sliding down to cup his lover's ass and press their bodies together.  He was growing very excited by the feel of his beloved's body and his cock ached for his lover's caress but he resisted wanting to see how far he could go without becoming too uneasy.  He rocked his hips thrusting against Jiraiya and feeling the sensation of his erection brushing his partner's.**

**Ibiki nuzzled his beloved's throat and his voice was husky with passion as he asked, "Please, I want to feel you.  Thrust against me."  Jiraiya rocked his hips lightly rubbing his cock against him,  Ibiki's grasp on his ass tightened drawing him tightly against him, feeling the rigid flesh thrusting against  him.**

**Jiraiya continued thrusting against his lover, he was still uncertain, but when his beloved did not seem bothered by it he thrust a bit more firmly and began kissing and licking the scarred expanse of his Koishii's throat.  Ibiki groaned and shamelessly begged, "Please, I want you, Jiraiya."**  

 

"Yes Koishii."  Jiraiya's breathing was ragged with lust, he needed his lover just as greatly as his partner desired him.  Ibiki quickly, bared Jiraiya's upper body, kissing urgently over the exposed skin as he stripped his shirt, then paused a second before continuing down to release his lover's cock.  Jiraiya saw his Koishii's posture stiffen  and it was clear in his hesitation that this was distressing him.  Jiraiya urged, "I will undress while you take your own clothes off."  

 

**Ibiki was definitely feeling anxiety, but maybe he could push past it.  After touching Jiraiya's cock while he was clothed and feeling the hard length thrusting against him, he had a reluctance to feel the hard flesh bare against him.  He shook his head at his partner's offer and continued to draw his lover's pants down, he reached mid thigh and paused again, he would have to sink down before him to draw them the rest of the way down... kneel in front of Jiraiya's cock... he didn't think he could do it, the vivid memories of having his mouth brutally fucked, his throat raw... the taste of blood and cum...**

**Jiraiya's soft soothing voice drew him away from the building horror of his memories.  "Ibiki... please, I need you to kiss me."**

**Ibiki looked away from his lover's erection, released his partner's pants, and nodded.  Then cupped his beloved's face and kissed him passionately as he tried to banish those memories.  When he broke the kiss Jiraiya continued placing tender kisses over his face as he murmured, "You never have to do anything you don't want to, I will never ask you to.  My brave Koishii, I love you so greatly."  Ibiki closed his eyes feeling the adoration in his lover's kisses, his memories loosing hold as he concentrated on the love he felt from his partner.**

 

Jiraiya could barely hold back his tears, the look on Ibiki's face left no doubt the horrors he was remembering... his poor Koishii, he would do anything for his brave lover.  Although aroused nothing was more important at this moment than to hold him and try to banish the memories.  His heart melted as Ibiki closed his eyes and pressed into his loving kisses, embracing his comfort, using his love to drive away the past.  When he opened his eyes Jiraiya brushed a soft kiss over his lips, "You are so amazing, I cherish every touch and kiss from you." 

 

Ibiki cupped his head drawing him into a firmer kiss then let go of him and stepped back to strip, Jiraiya finished removing his pants and when his beloved stepped forward to kiss him once more shifted his hips to prevent his erection from pressing against him, he'd already suffered enough stress. 

 

Ibiki didn't turn his hips back as he had began doing, he could see his anxiety still strong in his beloved's  eyes.  If his lover could not bear the feel of his cock he'd have to fuck him from behind and Jiraiya wasn't sure that was such a good idea at this time... but taking his partner in his mouth may bring uncomfortable feelings.  Possibly less so if he was lying and not standing before him as he did it, but prone was also possibly distressing, it was a very vulnerable position.

 

**Ibiki could see Jiraiya's uncertainty, it was clear he was trying to think of ways to have sex without causing him anxiety.  His skilled lover's gaze grew confident once more and he led him to the couch.  "Can I take you in my mouth?"**

**Ibiki gave a hesitant nod.  His beloved's light caresses of his upper chest helped relax him a bit, "Sit my Koishii."  Ibiki sat on the couch and Jiraiya sank down on his knees, urged him to part his legs and moved to between them, his mouth slid down Ibiki's throbbing cock and he gave a loud cry, his urgent need once more on his mind.**  

 

Jiraiya's mouth skillfully teased his arousal, sliding from tip to base and sinking his lover's cock in his throat, flicking the highly sensitive spot beneath the head at every draw back.  He'd guessed that Ibiki wouldn't have any traumas associated with the seated position and was grateful he was right.  His Koishii's back was 'protected', his ass not 'accessible', it was the most comforting position he could think of.  In this position his beloved wouldn't think about him kneeling before him since he was seated and not standing over him.

 

Jiraiya heard his partner's ecstatic wails, the sound quickly excited him to a point where he needed release.    With his lover seated he would not see him stroke himself and Jiraiya caressed and drew on his engorged length.  The pleasure of the strokes after becoming so aroused was intense.  He continued tempting his Koishii, drawing him closer to his climax, as he took his beloved over the edge he listened to his rapture as he came and the sound was the tease that brought his own orgasm.   Jiraiya released his partner's sated flesh and drew back.

 

**Ibiki cupped his Koishii's face, his thumb stroking lightly over his cheek bone.  His beloved had not gotten anything  only gave him pleasure, but as his lover rose and got a towel he saw his partner had taken care of that too.  This man was incredible, no matter what the problem he found a way to comfort and bring pleasure.  Ibiki rose and embraced him, the sated flesh of Jiraiya's cock brought no discomfort and he was able to embrace him close.  "You never cease to amaze me, my Koishii.  You are so extraordinary, you soothe me when I'm troubled. Only you can give me this pleasure with every touch, only you can make me feel like I'm loved, you are so exceptional Jiraiya.  I am so blessed to have your love."**

 

Jiraiya brushed a very tender kiss over his lips and responded, "I will do anything in my power to bring you happiness my Koishii, you are everything to me."

 

Ibiki kissed him softly but then drew back without deepening the kiss, Jiraiya understood his beloved would be very disturbed by the taste of cum at this time.  "We should go shower."  His partner nodded, taking his hand and walking to the shower with his thumb lightly stroking his palm.

 

**Ibiki needed the contact right now, he'd pushed too hard to try to overcome his limits, it had not worked out so well, but his incredible beloved had known what to do.  He must find some way to prove his love to Jiraiya, this man was perfect... sexy, strong, passionate, gentle, understanding and compassionate.  His lover was a priceless treasure that he could not bear to live without.**

 

\--------------------------------------   

**END CHAP 7**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORY LINE
> 
> 7: ANYTHING FOR YOU (EVANESCENCE)


	8. HARDER THAN YOU KNOW (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 8)

**HARDER THAN YOU KNOW (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 8)**

**It was the very early am, a time when everyone else would be asleep, but that did not matter.  This was not out of the ordinary... this was simply his life.  Ibiki lay trying ground himself in the present and unknot his muscles, they were knotted tightly after his dream, they often were.**

**The one thing that was different was the sound of his beloved sleeping, it was relaxing, but then his lover's breathing grew ragged and he gave pained soft whimpers. Ibiki tried to make himself rise and go to him without success.  He just couldn't... he didn't think he could bear to be touched at this moment, so he lay in growing frustration listening to his Koishii's pain and knowing he was to blame.**

 

_Ibiki's eyes were dark in fury, his words snapped out with venomous disdain.   "I hate you... I never really loved you.  You need to leave, my new lover is coming and I don't want him to see you."  Ibiki turned his back on him.  "You should have died... you betrayed my trust.  I never want to see you again."_

 

"Please!  Don't..." Jiraiya cried out, his eyes opening and his heart hammering madly.  He didn't see Ibiki for a moment, but as he rose from his bed, it was all he could do not to grab him, his hands clenched at his sided as he tried to deny his dream.  His Koishii slipped up to sit against the head board and reached out a hand.  He placed his hand in Ibiki's and he drew Jiraiya over onto the bed, to lay with his head on his lap, his fingers lightly stroking his face.  His beloved said nothing just quietly comforted him, it both helped and at the same time hurt so much.  He pleaded in his dreams what he couldn't say aloud, _'please don't leave me'_ , but in the end it would not matter... one day he'd be pushed aside as Ibiki fell in love with another.

 

Suddenly the loving gestures hurt too much, Jiraiya slipped up to seated, but he did not rise from the bed.

 

**When his partner looked away his eyes dark with sorrow Ibiki drew him close and embraced him tenderly, the desire to soothe his lover's pain was more important than any other thing at this moment. "Jiraiya, your dreams... I need to know, please be honest... Are you dreaming of my stabbing you?"**

**Jiraiya's gaze returned to meet Ibiki's eyes, his expression softened and he kissed him gently before answering. "No Koishii, I promise you, that truly does not haunt me.  It was an accident, I do not blame you."**

**They needed to talk about what happened, maybe then he could understand what was haunting his wonderful beloved.  "I was dreaming..."**

 

Jiraiya was momentarily confused before realizing he was talking about the day he'd stabbed him.  "I know, you cried out..." His eyes teared at the memory and he fought them back, "I'd never heard you say anything in all the times before... you sounded so frightened.  I just forgot, I wanted so badly to comfort you.  I forgot I'm not supposed to touch you..."

 

**Ibiki drew him closer and hugged him, his lover was so very compassionate, so empathetic... and it almost got him killed.  "My sweet Koishii, I swear I will never keep a weapon near while I sleep... never again.  I'm so very sorry I hurt you."**

 

Hurt him... no that did not hurt nearly as much as his beloved's brief words in the hospital.  "I know, I am not troubled by it, please don't feel bad.  It was an accident, just an accident and it's over." 

 

Ibiki's adoring gaze turned dark with sorrow, "I cried out because I'd never had such I terrible dream as that one.  I dreamt you were killed... but it was I that nearly killed you for real." 

 

Jiraiya placed tender kisses on his face, "I'm sorry you dreamed that, it was probably because of what had happened with Orochimaru... I wish I could take away your dreams, give you only pleasant dreams and peace while you sleep."

 

Ibiki gave a small smile. "I know."  His smile faded and he looked worried. "Jiraiya... what dream haunts you?"

 

**Ibiki didn't think he would answer, Jiraiya's arms had tightened slightly and when he spoke there was a hint of fear in the tone.  "I really don't want to say, but I can't keep secrets from you." Jiraiya looked away a moment before seriously meeting his eyes once more, "I do not dream about being stabbed, I dream of the mistake of touching you."**

 

Ibiki looked at him with concern, and bewilderment.  Jiraiya had hoped he could leave it at that, he was afraid if he reminded him he'd realize it was true.

 

**Ibiki almost told him he didn't have to tell him, his partner really didn't wish to say, he was very anxious.  Jiraiya didn't look away his eyes now filled with guilt.  "I betrayed your trust... I touched you when you were vulnerable and did not wish to be touched."**

**Ibiki cuddled him placing adoring kisses over his face until his beloved closed his eyes leaning into them as if desperate for his love... he wanted so very much to give his extraordinary partner that absolute love.  Jiraiya hadn't betrayed his trust... Ibiki had betrayed his, he'd swore he'd never leave him then walked away from him.  "You did not betray my trust, Koishii.  You did nothing wrong, please don't let it haunt you."**

 

He was so very relieved Ibiki hadn't drawn away, hadn't agreed that he'd betrayed him... his Koishii still trusted him.  He wished that would be enough to stop his dreams, but it was there in his nightmares, where he was unable to 'escape', that all the pain... all the terrible words became reality.  There he could not distract himself from the looming horror of losing his beloved.  Watching him go to be happy with a new lover and turn his back on him.  "I suppose I should let you get some sleep..."

 

Ibiki looked at him with longing, "Koishii, I really wish I could sleep beside you, feel your body beside me, comforting me." 

 

Jiraiya closed his eyes trying to get his emotions under control, his voice was still husky as he opened them.  "Ibiki I love you so much, just knowing you feel that desire is so very beautiful." 

 

Ibiki cuddled him and kissed his ear, "Will you stay here beside me for a while?  Let me hold you and feel you, the man I love embracing me." 

 

Jiraiya sighed blissfully, "Anything you wish, I will do anything for you."

 

**Ibiki found those words to be chilling, yes anything, even die... and he almost had.  He stroked softly over his beloved's heart.  After laying beside each other for a while Jiraiya smiled, gave him a gentle kiss and moved away.  "You must sleep.  I hope you have pleasant dreams, you deserve happiness."   He  slipped from the bed and returned to his bed.**

**Ibiki smiled, "Jiraiya I can bear my dreams not being happy, when I'm awake I have happiness all day with every look and every touch from you."**

**Jiraiya gave him a tender smile. "I love you Koishii."**

 

Jiraiya lay there and tried to 'think happy thoughts', wasn't as easy as most people made it out to be.  He could not just 'turn off' the fear and sorrow, couldn't just decide that this was not a good time to have those kind of thoughts, but falling asleep with them on his mind would mean waking his beloved again. 

 

Maybe he should get 'his' room at the inn, between being woke by his dreams and Jiraiya's dreams Ibiki would not get much sleep, and that was not likely to change anytime soon.  No, he couldn't, even if he should.  He couldn't lose a moment of the time he was still loved, he needed to be near him.  He wished he could sit in his office near him as he worked but that was not practical, he'd be hampering his Koishii's ability to do his job.

 

Unable to sleep Jiraiya lay awake the rest of the night , his thoughts only making the idea of sleep less 'appealing'.

 

**When Ibiki woke it was clear from the exhaustion in his lover's eyes that he'd never gotten back to sleep, and yet his partner smiled cheerfully at him and when he rose Jiraiya rose as well.  The morning went the same as the day before, he offered fruit but his Koishii's gaze turned withdrawn and he replied he'd just have coffee...**

 

**Ibiki couldn't remember a single time since he'd gone to get Jiraiya back from the Land of Lightning when his Koishii had accepted his offer of fruit for breakfast... it had been something they'd both enjoyed.  His beloved would cut up several types and tempt him into trying them by playfully coaxing him... tracing the fruit over his lips then kissing him, eating some and kissing him... it had been a wonderful 'game' between them before... but now his lover wouldn't even eat fruit for breakfast himself much less tease him with them.**

**He'd 'thrown away' so very many precious things by trying to end their relationship.  Would his beloved ever be that happy man again?  Ibiki continued thinking about this as he kissed his Koishii and walked to work.**

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya had spent the day much like the day before, watching M **ikomi, lost in dismal thoughts about how he'd foolishly dreamed time after time that the one who 'loved him' would stay...**

 

It was the time his Koishii usually left work for the day and as Jiraiya approached he saw Ibiki had already come out of the building and was standing talking to someone.  Jiraiya hesitated, Iruka... he hid the anxiety that surged through him.  Ibiki was talking to Iruka... the petite brunette was smiling happily up at him...

 

Why had Ibiki sent Iruka to see how he was when he was in the hospital?  Why had he chosen to have him there as he told him the relationship was over... Did Iruka love him?  Want him?  Had he asked to go along to confirm Ibiki ended the relationship?  Left to go comfort Ibiki after?  Was this why his Koishii hadn't felt the strong desire to see him for over a year? 

 

Ibiki said there had been no other, but it didn't really matter, the only thing that mattered was if Iruka would accept him near after he and Ibiki fell in love.  Iruka was a very kind man, it may be his best hope...

 

Ibiki turned to look at Jiraiya and Iruka waved, having been noticed now he had no choice but to join them, but he would not interfere... he didn't want Iruka to be uncomfortable, the effeminate little Chunin would make a good partner, Ibiki would never feel threatened by him.

 

**Ibiki saw the faint reluctance in Jiraiya's approach, was it because of Iruka?  Why would he feel a reluctance to see Iruka?  It made no sense, he hadn't seemed to feel any discomfort around him when he'd visited him in the hospital... visited at his side... _'he'd thought you'd simply replaced him.'_   **

**He'd been a fool in every way, he'd been unable to see how it would look through Jiraiya's eyes... bringing his new lover to witness him ending the old relationship with him.  His beloved stopped beside but barely behind him, like he didn't want to be in the way, and Ibiki's hypothesis was confirmed.  Jiraiya believed that he had an interest in Iruka.  Ibiki took his Koishii's hand and drew him close, embracing him and kissing him lovingly.  Iruka grinned at them as he drew back and gushed delightedly. "You two were meant for each other, I've never seen a better match... perfect!"**

 

Jiraiya was stunned, his beloved had just embraced him and kissed him...  Iruka's words as Ibiki drew back left no doubt that he felt no desire to take Ibiki away from him.  He was thrilled to see them together, Jiraiya smiled and for the first time that day he hadn't needed to force one.  "Yes, Ibiki is amazing, I'm so lucky to have him." 

 

Iruka sighed, "Well I must be going, thanks for the advice Ibiki."  He smiled at Jiraiya, "See you both later."

 

**As Iruka continued on his way, Ibiki drew him close once more and kissed him deeply, "Jiraiya, you are the only person I want, the only person I need, my Koishii and that will never change."**

**Jiraiya awkwardly teased, "If you keep kissing me like that I'll be too aroused to walk."**

**Ibiki was not drawn away from the subject, "There has never been another, and I will never want another you are so exceptional all others pale in comparison."  Jiraiya smiled, but it was not hard to see he did not believe him.**

 

Words, nothing but words... words he'd heard so many times only to have the one he loved walk away like he was nothing.  At this moment he truly wished he could have stayed away... why was he prolonging the pain? 

 

Why?  That was simple, he loved him and wanted every minute he could have by his side, to feel his touch and feel like he was loved if only briefly. "Let's go back to your house, I'm tired."  Yes, but this was a tired that sleep couldn't help, only make it worse.  The Ibiki in his dreams waited with his contempt and anger for him.

 

"Yes, let's go home, I wish to hold you."  Ibiki agreed and caressed his cheek.  Then they walked quietly towards his house.

 

\------------------------------------

 

**'Morning' came quite a bit sooner than expected, for the first time it was not his dream that woke him, but it brought the same stab of terror... Ibiki woke his hand reaching for the kunai that he no longer allowed himself to have.  Never again would he take the chance of 'reacting' and killing before he was fully awake.**

**Ibiki had felt the disturbance only an instant after Jiraiya did and it only took that instant for his 'gentle' beloved to strike and have 'the cause' pinned immobile in his arms, his lover's arm positioned to crush his throat and end his life.**

**Ibiki stood looking at the intruder coldly, noting that Jiraiya first strike had been quite devastating, the man's arm had a very nasty looking compound fracture and the strike had been so powerful that even if it hadn't broken his arm he wouldn't have been using it... he'd either dislocated his shoulder or broke the clavicle his arm hung limp from his shoulder down.**

**His inspection was mostly to try to take his mind off the remaining spikes of distress he felt at the violation of someone entering his house.  As Ibiki studied his lover and the intruder his heartbeat calmed and so did his nerves allowing him to place things in perspective and he continued thinking on the situation a great deal more calmly.**

**The already pale man's face lost all color his breath caught and he whimpered in terror as he saw Ibiki, he clearly had not known the occupant of the house had returned... or who that occupant was.  Now he believed Ibiki would kill him, but he shouldn't be worried about him, at this moment he wasn't sure Jiraiya wouldn't finish what he started.  He'd never seen him so angry, even in the pub when he threatened to level it... it was disturbing and he found himself doing something he'd never pictured he would need to do, convincing his lover not to kill the man.**

**"Jiraiya." Ibiki spoke calmly, "You can release him.  He won't be going anywhere."  The man took that wrong and started sobbing, Ibiki ignored him and continued. "I'll get one of the patrol to take him."**

 

Jiraiya wanted very badly to snap his neck, he'd never wanted to kill so badly, even in battle.  Ibiki had relaxed his trust, given up his weapon and allowed himself to be vulnerable...and this man had violated that trust, threatened his beloved by invading his home!  _No one_ would threaten his Koishii, he should feel safe and not have to ever fear someone would take him and hurt him!

 

**Ibiki noted the man was having a bit more difficulty breathing and he was sure Jiraiya hadn't realized it but his arm had tightened... the problem was solved as the intruder went limp, now unconscious.  Jiraiya looked startled and immediately dropped him.  Ibiki walked up and stroked his partner's cheek, he looked very uneasy now that he realized how close he'd come to ending an immobilized civilian's life.  He walked over, sank down on the bed, and looked numbly at the floor.  Ibiki walked over and sat beside him, "You're better than a guard dog."**

**Ibiki's words surprised his lover out of his stupor, his head whipping up to look at him.  "You joked!"**

**Ibiki's lips twitched as he tried to suppress his amusement, and he dryly replied, "I've been known to do that on occasion."**

**Ibiki stroked his hand and Jiraiya gave a soft smile.  "I guess you should get someone to take him... rescue him from me..."**

**Ibiki sobered, "It's not like you to get so angry."**

**Jiraiya looked away, but replied, "As long as I'm by your side I will never allow anyone to threaten you... although he wasn't much of a threat... I over reacted... "**  

 

Nothing would happen to his Koishii, he would not allow it, his beloved would be safe... over reacting or not he was certain that if Ibiki hadn't attempted to calm him the thief would be dead.  It wouldn't matter that he was unarmed, or a civilian... he would be dead.  He would never allow someone he loved to be hurt again, he wasn't even sure he'd regret it... yes... he probably would, but placed in the same situation he would not hesitate to kill the man.

 

**Ibiki was not disturbed by it but he wanted to know why his lover had been angry enough to kill even after the man was completely helpless, his answer came a second later.  "You gave up your weapon for me... I will not let anyone near you... you trusted you were safe..."  Jiraiya sighed.  "It is very possible I would have killed him."**

**Ibiki replied reassuringly, "You wouldn't have killed him, you would have stopped yourself.  You are kind... fierce, but kind you would not have killed a helpless man."**

**There was two things he was certain of... one was that the man would be having nightmares for a long time to come, the second was that no one could enter the house without Jiraiya knowing it. His beloved woke even before he had; woke and disabled the 'threat'...  his partner was so very gentle it was easy to forget he was a legendary Sannin, one of the two most powerful Shinobi alive.  "Jiraiya you are amazing."**

**Jiraiya gave a soft laugh he sounded a bit embarrassed.  "Yes, very brave of me to attack an untrained villager."**

**Ibiki wouldn't let him brush this aside.  "It doesn't matter who it was, you woke and reacted, immobilized the threat... incredible.  I do not need a weapon with you by my side."  It had delighted Jiraiya when he'd joked, comforted him, so he teased. "You're better than a weapon... and you have other 'perks'."**

**Jiraiya laughed, "And what would those 'perks' be?"**

 

"I would love to show you... after we get rid of our unwelcome guest."  Ibiki replied playfully, Jiraiya could already see the signs of his Koishii's arousal at the thought of touching him.  

 

He nodded and watched Ibiki slip on a pair of uniform parts before opening the door giving a odd almost melodic whistle, a second later there was a ANBU in a nearby tree.  Jiraiya couldn't see him but he could feel him. 

 

**Ibiki waved at his bedroom. "I require an unwelcome guest detained."  The ANBU hopped down walking into the house followed by Ibiki. "Put him in a Second Level cell..."  it was uncomfortable but not barbaric.**

**Ibiki's eyes slipped over to Jiraiya, he knew it would upset him if he didn't have the man healed.  "He'll need a ANBU healer."  His ANBU scout nodded, crouched and laid a hand on the man's unconscious form as he made the hand signs then they were both gone.**

**Ibiki teased, "It was a good thing that this was one of the times you'd chosen to wear sleep pants... my ANBU would have gotten quite a show..."  He almost touched his lover's cock but dropped his hand this was not a good time to push at _that_ restriction.  **

**Jiraiya smiled, it was a bit amused at his taunt but mostly of all his eyes were dark with passion.  Ibiki embraced him nibbling at his throat and hearing his lover's soft cries of pleasure.  "So sexy... Jiraiya I am so very blessed to have your love.  I don't ever want to lose you."**

 

Jiraiya smiled tenderly and cupped his face kissing him lightly, Ibiki responded, deepening the kiss until they both were urgently aroused.

 

**Ibiki released him and stepped back stripping his pants off and allowing his lover to do the same, he still wished it was possibly for him to strip his beloved and kiss his whole body... but it was just not something he could do, maybe someday.**

 

Ibiki took his hand leading him over to the bed, to Jiraiya's surprise he lay on his back,  "I want you to touch me Koishii... any way you wish." 

 

**Ibiki trusted his lover, he would not touch somewhere that he was uncomfortable with.**

 

Jiraiya was moved by the gesture of trust, "You are so amazing Koishii... I love you so greatly.  He slipped onto the bed beside him and stroked lightly over his scarred chest his eyes intently watching his partner's face.   Ibiki gave a soft moan at the sensitive scar tissue being traced, Jiraiya's tongue followed his fingers feathering over the tender area and making his beloved tremble wanting to arch into the temptation.

 

**The circle of Jiraiya's finger around his nipple on top of his skilled caress left him breathless.  "Jiraiya... it feels wonderful!"  Ibiki gasped arching up into his touch softly groaning at the powerful need rising in him.**

 

Jiraiya trailed his fingers down over his tender pelvis... so many scars... he leaned down to place gentle kisses over the marks as he brushed a steady a tease of chakra down over his lover's balls.  Jiraiya was so busy kissing the scarred flesh that he didn't keep in mind the caress of his fingers and it was only when Ibiki shivered that he realize his finger was tracing the sensitive strip of skin behind his balls. 

 

Jiraiya froze looking up in alarm,  Ibiki was panting hard, his voice husky in lust. "Don't stop... please." 

 

Jiraiya was very unsure, but he continued tracing the area, sending small pulses over the flesh as he sucked and flicked the engorged head of his lover's cock, his other hand now tracing around his nipple with a gentle pulse of chakra.  Ibiki trembled, but his moans were deep and long with pleasure.

 

Jiraiya could see his beloved had been teased enough he needed release, he took his partner's erection into his throat to the base, drew back sucking on the swollen flesh and slowly slipped down again.  Ibiki was groaning and writhing in ecstasy... a motion that set Jiraiya's finger lower, firmly rubbing and sending a strong chakra pulse over Ibiki's taut entrance. 

 

Ibiki howled in rapture bowing into his mouth cumming hard as he cried out breathlessly, Jiraiya had immediately lifted his hand from his lover the moment he realized where he'd touched.  Drawing on his beloved's cock then leaving the sated length slip from between his lips he sat with his head bowed unable to look up into his partner's eyes and see the hatred he saw every night in his dreams.  He'd touched him...  rubbed over his rim... Ibiki was going to be extremely angry... he'd trusted him and he betrayed his trust.

 

**Ibiki was filled with so many conflicting feelings; pleasure... distress he could not deny that was the most intense orgasm he'd ever had, or that a chill washed through him when he felt firm the touch... well there was one thing he could be certain of, Jiraiya hadn't done anything wrong, although he wasn't sure how he felt about it.**

**His Koishii was pale in fear.  "Come lay beside me."  Ibiki soothed, Jiraiya gave him a nervous glance and did, he marveled again at how fantastically matched they were as he rolled over covering his beloved and nuzzling his neck.  "I love you Jiraiya."**

**Jiraiya gave a small sad smile. "Are you... upset.  I didn't mean to..."**

**Ibiki kissed him then replied, "I know you didn't.  I'm not upset... very conflicted about what happened, but not upset with you at all."   He nibbled gently at his partner's throat he murmured the words Jiraiya desperately needed to hear, "I trust you Koishii, completely."**

**Jiraiya felt his eyes moisten at the reassurance, "I love you so very much."**

**The feel of his lover beneath him teased Ibiki hard once more just as he'd known it would, and both men's rigid lengths lay pressed between their bodies.**

**"What would you like?  If I can I will..." Ibiki offered.**

 

Jiraiya kissed his lips stopping his words, "For you to love me... for you to do the things you wish to do, not try to please me.  I want you reacting and doing what you wish to..." 

 

Ibiki stroked his face. "How did I ever get so lucky to have your love?"

 

Jiraiya closed his eyes in pleasure at the caress then opened them to meet his beloved's, Ibiki looked seriously in his eyes, "I wish to kiss your body, to hear your pleasure and know it's for me that you cry out." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I would like that."

 

What his beloved was asking was for him to trust him... to believe he would not do something that would cause him distress.  Jiraiya held back and didn't say 'if something is upsetting move away', he needed to trust that he would.

 

**Ibiki stroked slowly down his body as he slipped down, he was uncertain about the feel of his beloved's cock rubbing against him as he slipped down and shifted to lay more beside him.  He draped a bit of the sheet over his partner's arousal, then continued licking and sucking at his lover's enticing body.  Listening to his cries and feeling the tremble of his muscles and the surges of need his touch was bringing.**

**He continued down over his lover's taut stomach, he knew his Koishii had been aroused since they first touched and by now it had to be painful.  Ibiki was surprised that he felt a flash of regret that he would not get to attempt to go lower... he wasn't sure he could but he next time he wished to try.  He slipped up over his partner again, kissed his lips and asked, "I want you on top, please."**

**Jiraiya looked concerned, then relaxed and smiled, "Yes Koishii."**

 

His amazing beloved was not asking him to 'top', he wanted him to be on top.  Ibiki lay on his back and Jiraiya moved over him carefully, although his partner wanted this it was still something that could cause anxiety, and he wanted this to be exciting and wonderful for him.  For him to have only good experiences.    Jiraiya covered his beloved, his legs parted to straddle him and his eager body welcoming the press of his cock. 

 

Ibiki moaned loudly at the feel of him, it all was very arousing and Jiraiya body ached for release, but this was a chance he could not pass up.  His lover's urgent desire was sated, he would be aware of everything he did, not fevered with need, and yet he'd asked for this position.  He wanted to see what his Koishii wanted to try.  He was more delighted than surprised as his beloved urged him up to seated.  Both men moaned at the feel of Ibiki's cock sinking deeper into his body.

 

Ibiki kept his eyes on Jiraiya's as his hand stroked over his pelvis.  Jiraiya remained still, the demands of his body not important enough to end this, the cautious steps forward were so very wonderful.   Although his partner did not touch his erection he ran his hand down beneath to play gently with his balls, Jiraiya panted , his whole body aching for his beloved.   Ibiki's hand slipped up to his hip, "Thank you Koishii." 

 

**Ibiki knew this had to be incredibly hard, trying to resist rocking on his cock remaining still to let him touch him when so very aroused.  "I want you."**

**Jiraiya gave a wanton cry at the 'permission' to move rocking his hips rapidly on his lover's cock and feeling it move within him.  "You feel so good!"  Jiraiya began lifting and lowering his body and he started thrusting up into the drop of his partner's body, moaning in delight at the hot tight grasp.**

 

Jiraiya gave a ecstatic cry, Ibiki slipped his hand off his lover's hips and they slipped further back to cup his ass, kneading it as they fucked, until he was shaking at the effort to resist cumming.   His beloved's hands slipped up to rest on his back drawing him down to prone on top of him and kissing him passionately. 

 

Ibiki was teased to fevered as well now, he ran his hands over Jiraiya's body moaning and grasping him close as they quickly escalated towards their climax.  Jiraiya tilted his hips and his partner's next thrusts were to that wonderful spot within him, Jiraiya cried out in rapture his long needed release finally allowed.  Ibiki moaned and bucked as he came hitting the delightful area once more, bringing another wave of pleasure. 

 

Jiraiya's desire now satisfied, he lay trembling with the ecstasy of it, but he still was aware of his beloved's hand slipping between their bodies and circling the head of his sated cock.  Jiraiya was grateful to see that Ibiki had reached a point where, once he was satisfied and not erect, his Koishii could touch him without reservation.   

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

The two men showered and attempted to sleep, but Ibiki was not willing to return to his nightmare and Jiraiya was still uneasy about the man breaking in.  Although it was unnecessary, and a bit ridiculous, he was fighting his urge to remain 'guarding' his beloved.

 

**True morning came without either successfully falling asleep.  Another breakfast of Jiraiya refusing fruit and only having coffee left Ibiki uncomfortable, he knew his beloved liked fruit and he didn't want to seem like he was pushing or insistent... but had he just decided he didn't wish fruit or something else that was bringing this change?  He debated how to ask as he walked to work.**

**Ibiki wrote up a report on the would be thief's visit, usually reports were put in a sealed scroll and delivered to the Hokage by one of his men, but he decided to bring this 'special report' by her office himself instead of sending it with the other scrolls on the activities in the village.**

**\----------------------------------**

**Ibiki's lips twitched as he held back a fond smile, his gentle beloved... He handed Tsunade the report on the would be thief.  He had chosen the wrong village to move to, he was 'known' as a thief in all the surrounding villages, he should have just moved on to a new part of the country, but he'd made the mistake of coming here.**

When Tsunade finished scanning the report and looked up her gaze was curious.  It was a bit more damage to the man than she'd expect from Ibiki with a civilian.

**"It wasn't me that caught him, Jiraiya didn't like having a visitor."  Ibiki's lips had a faint curve of humor.**

**Tsunade gave a little smile too, but hers held adoration and no humor as she agreed, "Yes, he's quite fierce..."  Her smile faded as she continued, "Everyone can see how gentle he is, but that leaves them unprepared for the deadly nin he will become if someone he loves is threatened.  That sweet man disappears and he is quite capable of killing ruthlessly, without hesitation... you don't think he'd have killed him but I can assure you, if you had not woke that man would be dead.  He may have regretted it afterwards, or perhaps not... but I have no doubt that he _would_ be dead."**

**Her expression turned nostalgic, "As a young nin I never felt so safe as when he was there beside me... a sleeping lion." She looked over at the door, Ibiki heard it too, a second later Jiraiya walked in.  As if they had not just been discussing how 'protective' he was, she gave a taunting grin.  "Heard you and Ibiki had a visitor."**

**Jiraiya gave a sheepish smile, "I'm sure they healed his shoulder."  Tsunade almost teased _, 'and the fracture to his spine, damage to his lung...'_ but she knew her friend would take it wrong and kept that commentary to herself.  "Yes, I'm sure he's fine.  I doubt he'll ever attempt to rob another house..."  She looked over at Ibiki, "Get the Lion out of here I need to do some work before Shizune returns from her errand."**

**Jiraiya gave a playful frown, "Now let's not get into the playful nicknames..." Jiraiya looked at Ibiki and commented, "We'd tease that she was 'flat as a board'..."  Ibiki saw the flash of sadness in Jiraiya's eyes and knew if he had been watching Tsunade he would have saw it there as well, Orochimaru was their friend and teammate it would probably never stop hurting that he'd become a monster.**

**Tsunade played along, growled and tossed a scroll at Jiraiya, he dodged it and laughed, "Ok we're going."  Ibiki could see many quite dangerous items in easy reach she could have thrown but she'd choose one that on the off chance it hit would not seriously hurt him... he wondered how many years it had been since she'd really thrown anything at him that could hurt him... probably not since they were Genin.**

**Ibiki followed Jiraiya out of the room closing the door, he gave Ibiki a little grin, "When we were Genin she'd tease me about my hair... said it looked like a 'lions mane' when I'd wake and she thought I was always taunting her about being 'flat as a board'... but the real reason was she could smash you flat as a board with one blow... it was more fun to tease her than to tell her why."  Ibiki nodded, but he knew the real reason she called him a lion and he agreed.  His lover appeared to be unable to be disturbed, but if he felt someone was threatened he reacted with a swiftness that left others stunned... his partner was amazing.**

**Ibiki looked over at his extraordinary beloved, "So what brought you here Koishii?"**

**Jiraiya smiled, "Just thought I'd check in on Tsunade."**

**Ibiki nodded, his fingers brushing Jiraiya's palm.  When they reached the area outside the ANBU building he stroked his lover's cheek, "I wish I didn't need to return to work."**

**Jiraiya smiled, "I will meet you here when you are done for the day."**

**Ibiki nodded, he hesitated, he wanted to kiss him but at this time this area of the village was very busy and the quantity of people watching him put him on edge.  He stroked Jiraiya's face again, "I love you."  His partner's adoring expression made the feeling of being on display irrelevant and Ibiki drew him into a light kiss.**

 

Jiraiya smiled as his beloved drew back, "I love you Koishii, now go work, I will see you this evening."

 

Ibiki nodded and walked into the building, as Jiraiya turned and walked back through the market area he thought about how his amazing partner had kissed him even though it was clear he was uneasy about the villager's attention.  His contemplation was interrupted by someone calling him.

 

"Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya's heart skipped a beat, he knew that melodious croon anywhere, he'd spent many months trying to forget it so very long ago.  He turned towards his former Angel, "Tarento."

 

"Oh, Jiraiya, how I've missed you!"  His eyes slipped down Jiraiya's body to his groin, then shamelessly met his. "In so many ways." 

 

Yes... Tarento always did like that part best, a highly sexual young man that had the charisma enough to make what from anyone would be crass, seem a compliment.  Jiraiya was not sure what to say but the first thing turned out to be easier come up with than he thought as the younger man fell into step beside him and somehow managed to rub hips with him.  "Come, let us get reacquainted." 

 

His sensual purr was like a warm stroke over Jiraiya's skin and his body instantly reacted to the offer, his cock flushing hard.  It did not surprise Jiraiya his former Angel always had affected him like that... as well as pretty much every other male or female he set his eyes on. "Tarento, it is nice to see you, but I am in a relationship."

 

"Ah, I see." He looked disappointed and Jiraiya wondered how much of that was an act, you never knew with him.  He had not moved any further away and Jiraiya placed space between them himself but could not find it in him to be rude.  The smaller man smiled provocatively touching his top lip with the tip of his tongue and agreed, "That is fine.  No sex, but would lunch be acceptable?"  He was well aware of the effect he had on Jiraiya.

 

Jiraiya hid his reluctance and smiled, "Yes I suppose we could have lunch, you can tell me how your singing career is going."  It was 'officially' the reason he'd left him but Jiraiya had known, he'd grown bored... he wasn't sure the vivacious man had even loved him. 

 

Jiraiya choose a place with an open patio style so they'd be seated outdoors, he did not need to be somewhere dimly lit with someone whose every move seduced.  Tarento pouted, "Jiraiya I cannot sit out here... you know the sun is bad for my skin."

 

Jiraiya nodded and comprised, "There is a table just inside the door." 

 

As they entered the hostess greeted them, Jiraiya was reminded of his last time out with Ibiki at a restaurant and lost in his memories he didn't note they were led far into the dimly lit restaurant, until they were seated... no doubt Tarento's doing.  Jiraiya sighed, that was the one thing he had never missed, the way his former lover had of always steering things so he got what he wished. 

 

Throughout the meal Tarento 'subconsciously' flirted, subtle brushes of his fingers over Jiraiya's hand or arm when he'd make a point, licking the sweet desert off his fingertip... Jiraiya wished it didn't work but it did.  His body remained quite aroused, but he was no randy young nin that could be manipulated so easily and Tarento didn't have even the slightest chance of getting what he desired. 

 

After they'd completed their meal they strolled through the village.  Jiraiya could feel the constant presence of a ANBU patrol, he wondered what made the scout interested in Tarento's activities.  But even more so he struggled to find a good excuse to escape his former lover's company but couldn't come up with a single one even remotely believable... if they hadn't just ate he could say he was meeting someone for lunch.

 

Suddenly he knew what would work, Jiraiya smiled. "It was good seeing you again, but I promised my friend I'd come to visit her."

 

"I will walk with you." Tarento immediately countered.

 

Jiraiya nodded, he'd just came up with the one thing that would make Tarento decide _he_ wished to be elsewhere... 

 

Tarento's gaze grew uneasy as they stopped outside the Admin. building, it was clear he had planned on insisting that they all three could spend time together walking through the village or some other excuse to continue his attempt to woo Jiraiya.

 

"Your friend works here?"  Tarento asked warily.

 

Jiraiya smiled guilelessly.  "Yes.  Tsunade... I think you have met her before?"

 

Tarento blanched and his expression turned to one of distress. "Yes, well I really should be going, perhaps we'll see each other later?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, he didn't wish to say anything to encourage his further 'interest'.  Tarento hurried away, since he was already there, he decided he could drop in and talk for a few moments.  He'd known Tarento would not wish to be anywhere near Tsunade, she had not been pleased by his 'flippancy' about breaking Jiraiya's heart.  Last time Tarento had saw her she threatened to 'hit him so hard he'd cry every time he looked in a mirror for the remainder of his life'... It was the ultimate threat, the young man would be less frightened by the idea of her killing him, he valued his looks above all.

 

\------------------------------

 

As Jiraiya left from his talk with his friend, Tarento fell into step with him and Jiraiya barely with held a sigh, Tarento was like a vulture circling the area waiting.  Soon he would need to meet Ibiki and while that seemed like it was the right course to get rid of the young man, Jiraiya didn't want to make his Koishii look like the bad guy that everyone already believed him to be.

 

\---------------------

 

Kakashi sat perched in a tree branch no doubt hidden to most nin but Jiraiya was well aware he was there as he and Tarento walked by the solitary man's eyes dwelled a moment on Jiraiya then Tarento's aroused bodies, then emotionlessly met Jiraiya's gaze.  After walking with Tarento for a bit longer Jiraiya  got a reprieve. 

 

Tarento pouted, "I must go, I have a show to do... come watch me Jiraiya." 

 

Jiraiya gave him a polite smile, "I have other things to do tonight and must go meet my partner.  It was nice talking to you, I wish you good fortune and luck in your career."

 

Tarento gave a playful laugh, "Oh I'm not going anywhere soon, I'm sure we'll be able to spend much more time together."  He gave a coy wave as he walked away.

 

Jiraiya sighed wearily, and murmured sarcastically to himself. "Wonderful..."

 

As Jiraiya continued walking through the village thankfully now it was without Tarento, Kakashi suddenly appeared beside him.  It was not simply a coincidence they were now walking side by side and Kakashi's words confirmed it a minute later.  "You should leave with him when he goes."

 

Stunned, Jiraiya stopped and looked at the reserved young man, "If this is about my being aroused by Tarento, I am aroused by many..."  He faltered as the serious man's gaze dropped to his groin, Jiraiya was not aroused, then lifted to meet his eyes once more pointedly. 

 

"I do not love Tarento."  Jiraiya explained, but he suspected he knew where is conversation was headed.

 

Kakashi's expression or more notably lack of expression did not change.  "Since you came into his life you have brought instability." 

 

It took Jiraiya only a second to realize they were not talking about Tarento anymore,  "Ibiki loves me... there have been misunderstandings." 

 

"You and the chaos you bring are not good for him."  Kakashi's tone had not changed, but it didn't matter.

 

Jiraiya recognized this conversation, it was one he'd had countless times in his past, and he could see the truth behind the words.  "You are in love with him..." He felt so weary, his life an endless cycle of pain and heart break.  "Why haven't you told him?"  But Jiraiya knew that the young nin had no more experience with healthy social interaction than Ibiki had.  The young Shinobi's 'reservation' was just like Ibiki's, not a refusal to interact but a serious lack of the skills necessary to do so.

 

Kakashi expressed no emotion and yet Jiraiya heard the hint of frustration hidden behind his reply, "When it comes to how I feel he's no better at picking up on the non-verbal cues than I am at giving them."

 

Jiraiya nodded and they resumed walking.  He would not make an immediate denial, he wanted what was best for Ibiki and eventually his Koishii would tire of him and be alone again, or pick a partner that would not make him happy... Kakashi was a good man.  "I will not leave, but I will not interfere in your attempt to... make your feelings known.  I encourage you to do so, do not wait all your life to reach for the person you need."

 

The quiet acceptance was met with a nod then the masked Jounin was gone.  Jiraiya continued his walk through the village now a great deal more somber. 

 

It would not be a female, or a gentle submissive type willing to share him... no, Kakashi would not want him anywhere around his lover and Jiraiya wouldn't 'fight' to keep him, even if he succeeded it would only delay the inevitable, it was best Ibiki find his permanent mate. 

 

Jiraiya leaned against the rail of the bridge over the small Koi stream and watched the fish.  Kakashi would be good for his Koishii...  but he was sick at the knowledge it would end soon,  he'd been a fool far too many times, he should have never returned with Ibiki and yet given the choice, even now, he'd do it again. 

 

He couldn't stay after, it would put a strain on Ibiki and Kakashi's relationship.  He'd already went toward the Land of Lightning and he didn't need the terrible reminder of all he'd gained and lost so many times... this time he'd go far into the Land of Earth, the barren hard existence would help keep his mind off dwelling on his beloved every second of every day.

 

\---------------------------

 

**Ibiki read through the patrol's report, he was not pleased, although no one would know it.  Jiraiya's old lover was trouble... he wished he could say it was not possible Jiraiya would sleep with him, it was... he still had not been able to prove to his partner that he truly did love him.**

**Once more it was Kakashi that had brought the patrol record... Ibiki met his gaze but inside he felt sick at the knowledge that one of his men was watching him fail miserably at his relationship.  Kakashi's quiet manner did not change, but his eyes held understanding.**

**Ibiki knew if anyone would understand how extremely difficult it was to form a healthy relationship with no basis it would be Kakashi.  Not once in all the years he'd known him did he seen the man so much as touch anyone.**

**"Thank you.  Dismissed."**

**Kakashi put on his mask and Hitai-ate, but before he walked out he said quietly, "If you wish to talk, I'm always here to listen."  Then drifted silently out of the office.**

**Ibiki sighed, Kakashi was an enigma... he seemed so detached and yet he'd made a gesture of support, possibly even friendship... but no, nothing the other man could say would help, talking would get him nowhere.**

**Ibiki rose and walked out of his office, he had to see his beloved and touch him, needed to know he was near and he still had a chance to somehow make everything 'right'.**

**\----------------------------**

**"Jiraiya?"**

**Jiraiya glanced back his placid smile once more in place, "Ibiki, it is wonderful to see you."**

**Ibiki hesitated then took his hand, even in public he craved to feel his lover's touch, he couldn't help feeling that he was losing him... his Koishii was slipping away.  He wanted nothing more than to go home and hold his beloved, but he would need to return to work.**

 

Jiraiya saw his partner was troubled, "Koishii what is wrong?"

 

**Ibiki stroked his beloved's hand with his thumb, "I just wanted to see you... I love you, now and forever."  The disbelief in his beloved's eyes was as clear as the crystal waters of the pond below.**

 

"Do you need me to get anything for tonight's meal?"  Jiraiya resisted caressing his lover, this was public and it distressed his partner... but all too soon he'd lose everything he yearned for, everything he desperately craved, he didn't want to lose any bit of this time when his beloved truly wanted him.

 

"No, I have everything I need for tonight's meal, all I need is you Koishii."  Ibiki replied quietly.

 

\---------------------

 

**Returning to work had been hard but his beloved was waiting just as he always did outside the ANBU building, when he was finished for the day and they walked home together.  Jiraiya's past lover's remained in his thoughts, he doubted his Koishii had been required to always bottom with them... and there was no doubt that they had gave him amazing pleasure with their bodies.**

**Now back at the house Ibiki walked into the kitchen and started preparing their meal, Jiraiya had left the room to do something and Ibiki's thoughts returned to how limited his partner must feel with him.  He wished he could do something to show Jiraiya how greatly he needed him, how deeply he loved him...**

**He had to work past his restrictions, he wanted to be free to give Jiraiya the pleasure and freedom that he had with his past lovers.  He needed to accept his beloved fucking him, the thought horrified him... it wasn't the concept, his lovers touch was heavenly, but every time he seriously thought about it he'd remember the terror, the horrible pain... the feel of their cocks ramming into him as blood trailed down his legs... the vicious acid burn of their cum...**

**Lost in his dismal thoughts, the touch on his back drew an instant response.  Ibiki whipped around and struck at his attacker's trachea.  Jiraiya blocked it, he did not look disturbed by his attack but Ibiki looked away, reminded of how he'd 'reacted' before and left a Kunai sticking out of his beloved's chest.**

**Jiraiya was serenely watching him, "I'm sorry I startled you Koishii."**

**Ibiki met his lover's eyes, "I tried to kill you... again."  He could picture appearing in Tsunade's office watching her try to heal Jiraiya throat before he suffocated...**  

 

Jiraiya merely replied, "Hmm... yes, I startled you.  Are you ok?"  It did not frighten him that Ibiki had tried to kill him, the knowledge that he'd be losing him and continuing to try to survive in pain once more made that almost welcome.

 

Ibiki looked at him blankly for a moment then nodded.  Jiraiya gave him a soft smile, "Can I hold you?" 

 

His Koishii was very off balance and Jiraiya could see hesitation in his answering nod.  He kept his hands at his sides his stance non-threatening and paused before gently and carefully enclosing him in his arms.  He waited quietly for the tension to seep out of his beloved's posture.  Then brushed a feather light kiss over his lips, all thought of a meal was swept away as Ibiki's arms enclosed him and he renewed the kiss passionately. 

 

**He needed him, not only sexually, he desired to feel his partner's body against his to hear his cries of pleasure at his touch... to see the love in his eyes.  He could not bear to ever lose him.**

**He felt his beloved's cock harden and the shift as Jiraiya tilted his hips so he would not press firmly against him but Ibiki's hands slipped down to cup his ass molding him against his body and deepening the kiss.  His lover's wonderful fingers caressed and kneaded at his shoulders in encouragement.  Ibiki drew back slightly from the kiss but feathered his tongue over his Koishii's lips.**

 

Jiraiya gasped and groaned, his beloved was so amazing, with every day he became more relaxed and tried new things.  Ibiki's cock was a very strong temptation, but he wanted to feel _every_ inch of his lover's sexy body, to touch him, to kiss it and hear his cries of pleasure... but would he still be here when he was finally ready to bear a touch, or would someone else get the honor of receiving Ibiki's trust?  It was very likely that he would be long gone before that.  "Koishii you are so incredible."

 

Jiraiya dared to try something he hadn't since the first time they'd touched, his tongue traced Ibiki's lips, but even when they parted he did not slip within.  He just teased and coaxed him with soft suckles and nibbles of his lips until his lover gave a loud groan and cupped his head to him.  Even then his tongue did not enter his beloved's mouth only welcomed and moaned his pleasure as Ibiki's tongue entered his mouth and teased him. 

 

His Koishii's tongue tempted him until Jiraiya tongue was just past his lips.  Jiraiya was very uncertain, he  drew back and studied his beloved's eyes...  but only for a second as his lover cupped his head hungrily renewing the kiss and coaxing his tongue inside, then sucking on it.  Lust raced through Jiraiya like a wave of heat straight to his eager cock and he moaned deeply, aching to feel his beloved's bare flesh against his.

 

**Ibiki was nearly as surprised as Jiraiya at his intent to have his tongue in his mouth.  His beloved tempted him so greatly, made him desire things he never imagined could be so pleasurable and his lover's reaction only escalated his strong need... his partner's moaning and shivering at the tease was so sensual!**

 

It was very hard to remember that he needed to be careful, his lover excited him so greatly he'd never wanted anyone so very much!  Ibiki rocked his hips thrusting against him and Jiraiya closed his eyes groaning at the powerful temptation. 

 

**"Ibiki please..."  Jiraiya was breathless and his eyes dark with passion, "I need to touch you."**

**Ibiki nodded the faintest spike of anxiety swept through him then faded, he lead Jiraiya into the bedroom, he was still a bit uneasy after trying to picture his lover fucking him, but reminded himself  his Koishii would not do anything that he would not like... all thought fled along with any doubts as he felt his partner's incredible mouth teasing the tender scars of his throat... slowly slipping down to his chest and leaving him shaking at the intensity of the pleasure his lover brought with every brush of his lips.**

**Ibiki wasn't even sure when he'd done it, but as his beloved's mouth continued down his chest he noted in the back of his mind that his shirt was open baring his chest down to the top of his pants.  As Jiraiya's mouth reached his stomach Ibiki was trembling hard in need and ready to beg, he wanted to feel his lover's amazing mouth on his cock so greatly.**

 

As Jiraiya sank to his knees he looked up for permission, Ibiki met his gaze with eyes full of desire, "Please, I want to feel your mouth on my cock." 

 

Jiraiya murmured, "Gladly ."  His finger's brushing lightly over the trapped length and skillfully freeing his beloved's erection, groaning in delight as he licked and sucked along the shaft.  Hearing his lover's breathless moans of rapture, and the way he gave the softest pleading whimper, Jiraiya ecstatically took him in his mouth sinking the throbbing flesh in his throat before working it in and out of the grasp with a steady bob upon the turgid length.  His hands gently cupped his Koishii's hips to urge him to thrust then dropped away as his lover continued thrusting into the rapture of his mouth. 

 

**Although now nearly fevered with lust Ibiki stilled and brushed Jiraiya's cheek.  His partner released him and looked up curiously.**

**"I want to feel your cock thrusting against mine." He wanted to feel the silky flesh against his and see the rapture on his beloved's face.**

 

Jiraiya groaned, "My sexy Koishii, yes!"  He rose and quickly stripped cupping their erections together and feeling Ibiki's hand join his enclosing their needy flesh.  His beloved immediately gave in fucking their grasp and at Jiraiya's careful thrusts he panted, "Please more!" 

 

Jiraiya's thrusts quickly matched his lover's, delighting in the feel of his partner's cock against his.  His Koishii's cries of ecstasy and firm buck of his hips as he gave in to his much needed orgasm were enough to tease his Jiraiya to his own climax.

 

But  Ibiki didn't immediately release Jiraiya's sated length, he looked down at it, tracing the tender flesh.  His fingers 'exploring' the flaccid length, then stroking over his balls.  Jiraiya did not remain flaccid long under his touch and as he hardened his extraordinary partner lifted his gaze from it, but stroked slowly up the shaft.  Jiraiya gasped, "Your touch feels so good!"  

**He could touch him... enjoyed touching him when he was not erect... this was not like the others this was his lover's... his cock hardening brought no initial distress but unwilling to take the pleasure from his getting to touch him he refused to look down , instead lifting his gaze from the rapidly swelling flesh up to meet his beloved's eyes.  He could feel his own body responding to the feel of his lover hardening, the memory of the tempting length rubbing against his cock with every thrust...**

 

Jiraiya was so in love with him, his incredible brave partner. "I want to feel you in me, please." 

 

Ibiki nodded and when Jiraiya lay down he covered him, slowly pressing his reawakened length into the eager grasp of his body as Jiraiya moaned in delight his hands kneading his beloved's back, "I love the feel of you,  you are so wonderful Koishii!"

 

**The movement of their bodies grew more passionate, Ibiki's hips rocked urgently into him as he cried out in pleasure.  Until they were crying out in rapture and could not deny their climax.  Even after they'd sated their bodies once more, Ibiki remained covering his lover and placing tender affectionate kisses over his face.  "I'm not sure what I ever did to get such an incredible partner, but I'm very grateful I did, you are everything I could ever want.  I love you."**

**Jiraiya stroked his face, "I love you, only you forever."**

**Ibiki rose off him and kissed him once more, "We didn't eat, lets shower and I'll finish cooking our meal."**

\-----------------------------------------

 

**END CHAP 8**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORY LINE
> 
> 8: HARDER THAN YOU KNOW (ESCAPE THE FATE)


	9. FORGIVE ME (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 9)

**FORGIVE ME (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 9)**

 

\-------------------

 

Tarento's  attempts grew more sly the longer he stayed, and Jiraiya found himself in many awkward situations... he handled them calmly and indicated non verbally, as well as verbally, that he wasn't changing his mind. 

 

\-----------------------------

**As Ibiki walked back from an informal meeting with the Hokage, he saw Jiraiya's former lover walk out of the Adult shop, he had a coy smile on his face that left him feeling uneasy.   It was not hard to find out what the other man had bought, the store keeper was nearly shaking from the moment he walked in the door, only minutes later Ibiki walked out of the Adult store with the same item.**

**Tarento was just one of many, all that could offer his beloved what he could not, the freedom to do anything without restriction.  He would do anything to keep Jiraiya, even this.    He went back to the house to place the item in the dresser by the bed and returned to work, trying to keep his mind off his 'decision'.  He was determined, his conviction would not waiver, nothing was worse than losing his Koishii.**

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jiraiya had been sitting watching the villagers; when Tarento slipped into the bench beside him, his heart fell.  Tarento looked excited, a sure sign he was not going to be thrilled by whatever his ex-boyfriend was going to say or do.

 

The younger man gave him a wicked smile. "I bought you something..." 

 

Jiraiya drew a deep, calming breath.  "That was very nice of you, but I really do not..."

 

Tarento held up a bag, "Remember how much fun we used to have with vibrators?  You fucking me... running it over my..."  His seductive former Angel was leaning forward slowly, his tongue darting out to lick his top lip his breathing rapid in excitement. 

 

Jiraiya's cock throbbed, oh he remembered... all too well he remembered.  The writhing and sensual cries of rapture as he traced the vibrator over his Tenshi's balls...

 

Jiraiya rose quickly, "Thank you, but I do not think you should buy me gifts like this.  I really need to go."  He hurried away as soon as he was out of sight he used a transportation jutsu, no matter how greatly Tarento tempted his body he would not get what he was after.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

He was a bit reluctant to leave the house after the last attempt by his past lover, he could just imagine how the patrol report had read... sits beside former boyfriend, receives items in a bag distinctly from the Adult store, gets a massive erection... didn't look very good. 

 

\-----------------------------------

 

Jiraiya arrived outside the ANBU building and when his Koishii walked out everything else ceased to matter as they walked back to the house his beloved was quiet but didn't seem ready to talk about what was disturbing him.  When they entered the house, Jiraiya was very surprised as his lover immediately turned, cupping him to his hard body and kissing him passionately.

 

**Everything would be ok, Jiraiya would not hurt him... he could do this, but even as he said it he wasn't sure.  Waves of panic were sweeping through him and it was only with the constant reminder of how it had felt when his beloved had been gone to Lightning that he was able to suppress his reaction... there was nothing his Koishii could do that would hurt more than losing him again.  He was determined, he _would_ do this... the hardest part would be not letting his lover know the terror and sickness he felt... he couldn't let himself picture it or he'd never be able to do it.  **

**Ibiki quickly had drove Jiraiya to strong need and when he drew him into the bedroom and stripped,  he embraced his beloved... his gentle lover, he would not hurt him... but even if it did not hurt it would leave him disgusted with himself...  dirty ... used... ' _perfect whore'_...**

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

Ibiki looked at him with an almost frightening intensity, but the words he said were not the ones he'd expected to hear. 

 

"Please Jiraiya, I want you to... top."

 

**Jiraiya looked dismayed, his eyes held sorrow, "Please Koishii... don't.  Don't ask me that, I just can't."  His eyes turned beseeching, "Anything... but not that."**

 

Ibiki reached into a drawer and took out a vibrator, Jiraiya knew it had never been there before, he had to have bought it for this.  Jiraiya's gaze dropped, his eyes filled with tears, and a tear escaped to trail down his cheek.

**Ibiki saw the tear slip down his partner's face the tragic irony was that the tear followed the red mark down from his eye, as if a reminder of all the sorrow he'd caused his beloved.  Ibiki set the toy down and enclosed his lover tenderly, stoking his back and placing loving kisses along his throat.  Jiraiya's gaze lifted to search his eyes, "Why?"**

**"I love you."  Ibiki replied sincerely.**

**Jiraiya shook his head, "Asking me to do this is not a proof of love Koishii... asking me to do something that brings you such horror... I can't."**

**Ibiki cupped his cheek kissing the trail of his tear, "Jiraiya, I need you.  I can't ever let you go again, I want only you."**

**Jiraiya stroked his cheek gently, "Is that why you wanted me to do this?  You do not think I'll stay if you don't give yourself to me?  Koishii, I don't want that, only your love."**

**Ibiki kissed him molding his body to his, Jiraiya tensed to back away as he flushed hard, but Ibiki cupped his ass encouraging him to stay pressed to him.**

 

Jiraiya covered his mouth in a soft kiss and then replied, "I will never ask you to do that." No, he didn't think he could bear knowing he was doing something to his Koishii that was done to cause him shame and agony, he didn't wish it and it would never tempt him enough that he'd even consider it if offered by another, even if he never got to top ever again...

 

**Ibiki nuzzled his throat as his hands caressed the muscular body of his lover.  "I wish to do this for you...  I want to give you pleasure like you give me."**

**Jiraiya cupped his face his eyes serious, "Don't ever do something _for me_.  I do not wish that, never Koishii, please."**

**Ibiki caressed his partner's back lightly. "I wish to, you are everything to me... I want to move past my restrictions."  At this moment going through with it was one of the last things he wished to do... but he was still determined he would.**

**Jiraiya stroked his face, his gaze remained highly distressed. "I can't, I don't want to frighten you."**

**Ibiki gave him a loving smile, "I know... but from those small flashes of fear come the freedom to try more, to discover all the pleasures I never imagined."**

"That would bring much worse than flashes."  Jiraiya corrected, but then hesitantly nodded.  "Then we will push at your restrictions, slowly working past them, not ignore them and do things that frighten you and cause you shame Koishii."  This was dangerous, if he did something that truly frightened him he may 'send him away', he couldn't bear to lose his beloved not yet.

 

After that 'fright' Jiraiya truly only wanted to be able to hold him and caress him to give him love and pleasure, but now he'd agreed... he'd have to do things that would bring his Koishii anxiety.

 

**Ibiki could see his beloved's lingering sorrow, "Koishii..." Ibiki drew him over to the bed and found himself echoing the words his amazing lover had said so many times to him.  "Touch me like you wish, only do what you wish, don't do anything that causes you distress."**

 

Jiraiya gave a gently amused smile, "My extraordinary partner."  Jiraiya slipped up to beside him caressing and kissing the tender skin of his chest, listening to his rapidly growing desire.  He could do this, just as he'd said to Ibiki... slowly.

 

Although he felt the urge to, Jiraiya didn't ask if he could kiss his partner's incredible body, he just did it.  He placed slow sucks and strokes of his tongue over his lover's throat down his chest and without pause continued down over his stomach to his pelvis.  Then cupped his beloved's erection with his tongue, gave a slow lick up to the head and enclosed it, sucking and flicking his tongue over the swollen flesh.  Ibiki cried out trembling and panting fevered moans, he was tempted to part and slip between his lover's legs to cup his hips and suck his balls... but that definitely would be more pushing than either of them were ready for tonight. 

 

**Ibiki was overwhelmed by the surges of ecstasy crying out until he was breathless with rapture gasping out urgent wordless pleas.  Jiraiya covered his cock sinking it into the hot grasp of his throat and bringing his orgasm.**

 

Jiraiya released him and slipped up to lay beside Ibiki, "Can I have you cover me Koishii?  I need to feel your body against mine."  He tried to keep the plea from his voice but he knew it was more than clear to his beloved by the way his eyes softened and he covered him kissing him tenderly.

 

**He'd really upset Jiraiya, his partner's 'request' was not sexual, it was a desire for comfort.  Ibiki continued placing light kisses over his face and throat as the tension eased from his beloved's body.   Although erect his lover did not seem to wish anything more than to be soothed.  "I'm sorry Koishii... I'm very sorry I upset you."**

**Jiraiya gave a gentle smile that held a bit of sadness.  "I'm ok Koishii.  Everything is ok."  Jiraiya's hands massaged his back in a soothing manner, unconsciously trying to soothe Ibiki to ease his own distress.  The feel of his lover's erection teased him and soon Ibiki was aroused.  "Can I make love to you Koishii?"**

**Jiraiya gave him a deeply loving kiss, "Yes please."**

**Ibiki returned to sucking and kissing his beloved's throat as his lover wrapped his legs around him and he slowly pressed in to the welcoming grasp.  Jiraiya's lips parted in a soft moan, "Koishii... you feel so very good... so right... your cock in me, your body covering mine..."**

**Ibiki kissed him deeply. "Jiraiya you are everything I could ever want or need."**

**As their passion slowly grew, Ibiki moved faster but he wanted this to give his beloved as much pleasure as possible and circled his hips the way his amazing lover had shown him.  Jiraiya arched and cried out trembling in ecstasy and rocking into his thrusts.  When he did it again his partner's moans turned fevered, his body now rocking rapidly into his thrusts and driving him to a powerful lust, the two men crying out loudly as they fucked.**

**Jiraiya shifted his hips and wailed in rapture his arms wrapping tightly around his partner's upper back clinging to him as Ibiki held back from cumming and rapidly thrust against his lover's prostate.  Jiraiya he howled in ecstasy quivering with every buck of his hips as he came, then teased by his beloved's cries Ibiki gave in to his own climax moaning at the glorious feel of his Koishii's body.**

**As they lay catching their breath Ibiki placed light kisses over his partner's face, "I love you Jiraiya, you bring me such pleasure with every touch, every word of love."**

**Jiraiya hugged him, "I love you... I will always love you my wonderful Koishii."**

**Ibiki was grateful for so many things, Jiraiya was truly everything he could ever want.  "I suppose we should shower... and I should cook for us."**

**Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "Yes I suppose so."**

 

\---------------------------

 

Tarento seemed to show up everywhere and finally convinced Jiraiya to come hear him sing at the club, he could think of no rational reason to refuse and he did enjoy his former lover's singing, he was quite good... With him up on stage performing there would be no way he could continue to try to seduce him or give him inappropriate gifts.  Yes, he could show up for a bit, then leave to go met Ibiki, it was still a bit too early for him to be off work and he liked walking through the village beside him.

 

Tomorrow he planned on 'accidentally' bumping into Tarento while out with Tsunade, if tomorrow went anything like the last few days his former Angel would find him very quickly, but he planned on finding him first... shouldn't be hard, he knew all his past lover's beauty routine... and certain fresh items were 'required' daily.

 

Jiraiya sat and watched Tarento take the 'stage' merely a slightly elevated bit of the floor.  He smiled happily as Tarento sang his incredible voice casting a spell over his listeners.  Jiraiya was enjoying the evening and was glad he'd agreed to come hear Tarento sing.  Everything was going very well, he was drawing a larger crowd as word spread of his talent and the night was starting to pick up when Tarento smiled and announced, "I have wrote a new song... one for someone very special to me."

 

His heart dropped, there was no doubt in his mind... or anyone else's that the song was about him from the way his former Angel's eyes never left where he sat.  Although not willing to make a scene while he was singing, the moment the song ended Jiraiya rose and started out the door.  Tarento walked out of the club right behind him.

 

"You do not wish to hear me sing the rest of the night?"  His parted lips gave new meaning to his words. 

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "There is nothing you could possibly offer that would tempt me..." 

 

"You don't want to touch my silky flesh... to feel my body embrace you..." The provocative man crooned.

 

"No."  Jiraiya replied flatly and turned to walk away as he did he felt the presence he'd detected join him, Ibiki slipped out of the shadows and took his hand as they walked.  Jiraiya was surprised, not in a bad way, he'd registered his beloved was there but his Koishii had not stepped out.  He had not confronted the would be suitor... only joined him when he walked away.  He'd not interfered and accepted that he may choose to go fuck his persistent ex-lover... his beloved was so extraordinary!

 

Jiraiya spoke softly not willing to cause his Koishii discomfort by expressing emotion in public, he was already a bit out of his comfort zone holding his hand in public.  "I love you Ibiki..."  Ibiki stopped drew him into his arms and kissed him tenderly.  Jiraiya was stunned, as they resumed their walk his lover's thumb stroked gently over his palm.  He could not have been more content, yes he was aroused but it was not a distraction from the wonderful warm blanket of love that covered him. 

 

As they entered Ibiki's home Jiraiya turned and placed light kisses over his Koishii's throat, "You amaze me every day." 

 

**Ibiki wrapped his arms around him drawing him tightly against him.  Although his lover was quite aroused it didn't bring the anxiety that it once had, it gave him hope that one day they would be able to freely touch each other.**

**He asked softly, "Please, I want you to push at my boundaries... I want so much more and to feel your touch."**

**He was very aroused now and when Jiraiya gently asked, "May I take you in my mouth?"  Ibiki  immediately nodded, groaning in rapture a minute later as his lover's skilled mouth covered his newly freed and very engorged cock.**

**As urgently as he desired release he resisted and when he reached a point where he could barely think of anything but cumming, Jiraiya's hand replaced his mouth slower teasing strokes that kept him right on the edge.**

 

Jiraiya slipped around behind him he would only do this because he was clothed but it was still possibly too much... his other hand gently stroked the side of his beloved's scared throat lightening his touch as Ibiki leaned into it, slowly his partner's body rested lightly against him.  Then his Koishii leaned back further as his mouth placed soft kisses and brushes of his tongue over the tender flesh. 

 

Jiraiya felt the moment Ibiki realized his body was pressed against him, his erection firmly resting against his ass and at that moment Jiraiya took him over the edge into his climax.  Ibiki cried out in rapture bucking his hips as he sated his swollen length.  He had not moved away and now lay back against him but Jiraiya just waited.  Resting his hands lightly on his lover's waist, he waited for his Koishii to draw away...

 

**After a few minutes longer Ibiki stepped out of his beloved's arms and they fell relaxed and loose at his sides.  "Jiraiya, I'm so blessed to have you."  His partner's soft loving gaze said so much, he wouldn't ask or expect relief... accepting and gentle.  "I want you to take your clothes off."  Jiraiya did freeing his  turgid organ but still not a sign of expectation, just acceptance... of anything Ibiki wanted.   "Hold me from behind."**

 

Jiraiya was well aware of what he was asking, this was a much larger step than he'd planned on, he hoped it was not too great a step. He embraced and kissed him passionately his mouth trailing down to the sensitive scars of his beloved's throat.  Although excited, Ibiki had been sated and was not fevered with need this time. 

 

**Jiraiya slowly moved around to behind him, his mouth continued the sensual caress and his lips moved down to kiss his upper shoulders.  Ibiki could feel the heat and slightest touch of his lover's body, almost like a tease.**

 

He would let Ibiki decide, he could lean into him or not, he would not press himself against him.  As his beloved lay back against him, Jiraiya almost groaned, there was a complication he had not taken into account.  Although he had no intention on acting on the surge of lust he felt, he could not stop his body from responding to the feel of his partner's firm cheeks pressed against him.  His cock jumped at the temptation flushing even harder, painfully so, but that wasn't what brought a spear of alarm for Jiraiya.  No it was that his fragile lover was trying very hard to overcome this and his flushing harder was not helpful!

 

Ibiki froze against him, Jiraiya began to back away but his Koishii took his arms and wrapped them around him lightly.  "Stay... please." 

 

**Jiraiya remained and slowly Ibiki eased back into him once more, until they stood with Jiraiya's body cupping his, his mouth still teasing the tender flesh of his throat.  Ibiki was surprised as he grew erect, but not as surprised as his lover.  Even resting with his partner's cock pressed against him he'd still become aroused.**

**"I love you so much."  Jiraiya murmured softly his lips continuing the adoring kisses, his tongue brushing lightly over Ibiki's skin.  "You are so strong... extraordinary... "**

**Ibiki drew a ragged breath, this brought such a multitude of strong feelings and it was a bit overwhelming.   His beloved tempted him like no other ever had, even as a teen he'd never felt such great need.**

This had gone well, well enough he was going to dare to go a bit further, his lover's desire to push harder at his limits was evident in the large step he'd taken by staying with his ass against Jiraiya's erection.  He released his partner and moved around to stand before him, he had to see his beloved's eyes, needed to know if he was pushing too hard at his limits and stop before he grew too anxious.

 

Much of what he was going to attempt was already done before accidentally, or when his Koishii was fevered with lust, and had been disturbing but not caused any lasting anxiety.

 

Jiraiya watched his beloved's eyes as he cautiously caressed down his body, he would stop if he saw any distress, but his lover's eyes only darkened with passion, his cock flushing harder and he groaned in ecstasy as his fingers continued down to fondle his balls, he hesitated a second then cautiously stroked a finger along the tender area between his balls and his rim. 

 

Ibiki closed his eyes and gave a loud moan bucking into the sensation and sending Jiraiya's fingers back further.  His Koishii's eyes were now open and held uncertainty.  Jiraiya began drawing his hand back but as he did his finger stroked a gentle pulse of chakra over the sensitive area.  Ibiki cried out in shocked pleasure and bucked hard, the motion sending his fingers which had been retreating back over the area.  Jiraiya did it again and he could hear his beloved's rapid breaths and feel his cock jumping in need.  He'd pushed him far enough for tonight. 

 

Jiraiya drew his hand away and begged softly, "I want you... I _need_ to feel you in me."  Ibiki groaned, his grasp firm as he turned his lover in his arms, and yet even teased to urgent desire he was very cautious pressing into Jiraiya's body.

 

**The thought that he'd offered _this_ to his partner... at the feel of his throbbing length sinking in, he tried to picture Jiraiya's erection entering  his body, but pushed the thought away as it caused a strong spike of distress, and he concentrated on his beloved.**

**Jiraiya moaned, "Koishii, you feel so good!"  His lover's body relaxed and laying back into his and   Ibiki's uneasy feelings were swept away.  He started fucking him faster and groaning in delight at the tight hold of his beloved's body.**

 

They rapidly reached their climax, and after lay embracing as they both quietly thought.  He could see Ibiki still held some anxiety about having decided he would ask to be fucked, the fact he'd offered... it was astounding, there was no doubt the horror he felt at the thought and yet he'd still offered... it was an immense gift.

 

He wanted to very much to believe his Koishii would continue to love him... but he was very certain _that_ would have been the end of their relationship.  Ibiki would have never trusted him again, no matter how careful he was or how great of pleasure he gave him it would not change that it was a violation, something he associated with horrible abuse. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya woke from his own dream to hear his Koishii's uneven breathing, his lover was trying to calm himself... it seemed he hadn't been very successful at sleeping peacefully either... of course Jiraiya doubted he had since his terrible abuse. 

 

Jiraiya spoke very quietly, a soothing croon.  "As a child I loved the night... all the stars seemed so magical... so many beautiful glowing dots against the black sky.  The crickets softly chirping as I lay on the grassy hill watching them..."  Ibiki rose and slipped into bed beside him.

 

**Jiraiya didn't touch him simply accepted his body molded against his side, and his peaceful memories helped center him in the present.  "I love you Jiraiya... thank you."**

 

Jiraiya was grateful his memories had helped, his need to find a way to soothe him finally satisfied.  Ibiki lay beside him for a bit then leaned over him and gave his brow a light kiss.  "Good night Koishii." 

 

Jiraiya replied, "Good night my beloved.  I wish I could give you the beautiful relaxing dreams you deserve."

 

Ibiki stroked his cheek, "You make even the dreams bearable Koishii."  He slipped out of bed and returned to his own.

 

That was so beautiful it brought tears to his eyes and his heart ached, he loved his incredible partner so much... and someday soon he'd lose him.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Although it was morning he felt like he hadn't slept at all, he decided not to go out, he'd stay in Ibiki's home until it was time to go meet his lover and walk back here with him this evening... this did not help his looming depression. 

 

His night had been filled with visions of his beloved turning his back on him, of Ibiki's new lover hissing vicious words, of seeing his items piled beside the trash as they probably had been when he'd been tossed aside last time by his Koishii.  On the plus side he must be getting better at hiding his dreams from Ibiki because he woke him less often now or perhaps he was just exhausted having to deal with his own as well.

 

Jiraiya sat at the table looking at the fresh fruit his Koishii had cut up for him, they were beautifully cut into intricate floral patterns... and it was clear he had hoped this would entice him towards eating them.  But fruit only brought the memory of the last happy day he'd had before everything had fell apart, his beautiful lie of a future with someone loving him shattered into irreparable shards.  No... fruit had no appeal, no matter how beautifully cut.

 

**Ibiki saw the look his partner had given the fruit... it was not likely he'd eat any although he'd played it off as they were 'too beautiful to eat' something about it bothered him.  He was withdrawing and Ibiki was growing more certain with every passing day... he was losing his Koishii.  He'd done so much wrong, he just couldn't give him all he needed... and soon his beloved would chose to go.**

 

Jiraiya soon found he couldn't bear to stay in the house looking at all the things he once thought mattered but now he knew would be placed in the trash the day he was sent away.  The bed... the stool... Ibiki should not have bought anything 'for him'.  He decided he'd go a bit early and wait for his Koishii to be done with work for the day.

 

To Jiraiya's dismay he hadn't gotten past the market before his former lover 'found' him.  Tarento walked beside him and he wished he could find some way... _any_ way, to avoid the coming conversation, he was not new to this 'game'.  Tarento wanted him even more now that he couldn't have him... 'coy' was over... now 'catty' would begin...

 

"You are with... Ibiki? "  Tarento looked appalled, "How can you... Jiraiya why?" 

 

Jiraiya sighed and tried to explain something the young narcissist would possibly never know.  "I love him... and I do not need someone to be flawless to find them sexy."

 

Tarento gave a disbelieving scoff, "Flawless?  That man is as far from flawless as it is possible to get..." 

 

Rude or not Jiraiya had enough, "Tarento there are people who are far more flawed, sometimes it's the ones that think themselves flawless that are the most flawed of all.  Do not come near me again, I have had enough.  I will never find you flawless... in fact at this moment I cannot think of anyone more ugly." 

 

Jiraiya had been walking towards the ANBU Building and at his words Tarento stopped and hissed, "You deserve that scarred freak, only someone that ugly would stay with you!  There's something wrong with you that's why no one stays!  You were lucky I ever allowed you to touch me!" 

 

Jiraiya did not reply, not so much as glance back, he was used to being the 'center of attention' in this manner, so very many had yelled vile insults at him over the years but hearing his beloved called a 'scarred freak' hurt very much.  He just wearily continued walking into the ANBU building and when he reached Ibiki's office he just sat quietly.

 

Ibiki slipped the files into his desk and rose, "Koishii... are you ok?" 

 

Jiraiya nodded, he was very tired, his heart had been broken so very many times, ugly scenes like the one he'd had outside moments ago... new lover's furiously, viciously berating him to stay away... and no matter how much he wished it wasn't true, this relationship with Ibiki would end one day.  The man he loved would turn away... if not Kakashi than another would take his place at the exceptional man's side.

 

**Ibiki saw the sorrow in his beloved's eyes, he drew him up and held him, he'd made so many mistakes hurt his precious lover too many times.  He feared this sorrow meant Jiraiya had decided not to stay, without hesitation or shame he softly begged, "Koishii... please don't leave me."**

**Jiraiya looked stunned then his eyes filled with love, "My love, I will never leave, as long as you want me I will stay."**

**Ibiki felt such relief he was flooded with emotion. "I will never lose you again, I will never walk away or allow you to."**

 

Jiraiya's lips twitched, they both knew he would be powerless to physically stop him.  Jiraiya kissed him, but he'd never need to stop him physically his Koishii held his heart for always, he could not leave again, he could never bear that pain again... the thought of never seeing his beloved again, it was worse than death.  And yet he'd swore he would not stand in Kakashi's way... worse than death didn't matter, his Koishii's happiness had to come above all... and there lay the conflict.  Could not bear to live without him and could not stay, there truly was no resolution.

 

"I am done here... would you like to go home... we could go out to eat..." Ibiki offered, his gaze still worried.

 

"Koishii."  Jiraiya nuzzled his throat, he'd distressed his wonderful beloved.  "The only thing I want is to be with you... anywhere you wish, just being beside you will make it exactly where I want to be."

 

Ibiki drew a deep breath and kissed him softly, "Jiraiya, you are everything to me.  I love you." 

 

Jiraiya gave him an adoring smile, "I love you Koishii... let's go home, I prefer your cooking over any thing anyone else could make."  No, it wasn't really _his_ home, but for now it was and that had to be enough.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When they walked in the door Ibiki turned and began urgently kissing him... it was a bit too much like the last time when his beloved had asked for him to fuck him and Jiraiya was slightly uneasy, but as the hunger of their kiss grew his caution ebbed, his Koishii was not going to ask for that.

 

They went into the bedroom and stripped, Ibiki kissed him passionately once more, then turned in his arms.  Cautiously Jiraiya cupped him from behind, nibbling very gently along the top of his shoulder and kissing his throat.

 

His eyes widened as he felt Ibiki's body relax against his, cautiously Jiraiya stroked over his beloved's stomach... then down to feather over his pelvis.  He watched for any sign his lover wished to draw away, but as his finger's brushed down over his balls his partner just moaned. 

 

Jiraiya remained very uncertain, perhaps this _was_ like the last time... his Koishii did not ask for it but he still may want for him to... if this was truly what he wanted was he right to deny him?  Right or wrong he didn't think he could ever do it, but would this be something that would make Ibiki decide the 'relationship won't work'?  Would his refusal to 'allow' his lover to push at his limits be what made him decide to choose another?  Ibiki's ass pressed to his throbbing erection teased him greatly but it was not enough to get him past the knowledge that his Koishii would be very frightened... even if he did wish it, it would terrify him.  The idea sickened him and he prayed his beloved would not ask.

 

Jiraiya continued caressing him, soon his lover drew away and turned to face him, his voice was husky as he spoke,  "I need you Jiraiya." 

 

Jiraiya was about to shake his head in denial but as Ibiki moved around behind him cupped his hips and rocked his arousal against his ass all tension disappeared and relief turned to a powerful lust.  He gave a loud groan and an urgent plea, "Koishii please, I want you, I need to feel you in me!"

 

**Ibiki drew back once more and lead him to the bed, urging his beloved to lay and covering the erotic man with his body.  Jiraiya's legs wrapped around his waist and he moaned in bliss as Ibiki's cock slowly sank into him.  He began fucking him firmly, growing faster as his partner became more passionate his hands caressing and stroking his waist and back.**

 

As Ibiki lay on top of him Jiraiya caressed over his ass cheeks with light chakra stokes, not going between the two firm cheeks but it still drew a delighted moan from his beloved.

 

He cupping his hips and guiding him into rolling his hips slowly as he pressed into the tease.  He arched and cried out in rapture as his lover repeated the move.  Ibiki moaned ecstatically, "Koishii, you feel so good!"  and began fucking him faster, panting out fevered cries of pleasure that were echoed by Jiraiya as he rocked into his thrusts, bowing up to take him deeper and trembling in ecstasy. 

 

**His partner's wanton passion and keens of rapture as he came quickly drew Ibiki to his climax, crying out as his hips bucked and leaving him sated.  Jiraiya's excitement was so arousing!  If this was him still in control... for a second he really did wish to feel his lover in him, then distress swept through him.  So many times he'd thought one day he may be able to let his beloved fuck him, but he wasn't so certain anymore.**

 

Jiraiya stroked his back and watched his Koishii, something had made his muscles stiffen for just a moment.  Now he looked relaxed once more and kissed him lovingly, when he drew back from the kiss it was to stroke his cheek and stated, "I need more Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya was confused a moment, his beloved was not erect, he seemed sated...  then he knew.  "Please, I just can't." 

 

**Ibiki kissed him calming his distress and stopping his words when he drew back he reassured "Not that.  You enjoyed this... really enjoyed, without trying to hold back.  I need that."  No, he wasn't going to ask for his Koishii to fuck him.  It wasn't until he faced that he was going to actually have to do it that the horror of the idea truly began to sink in, Jiraiya's touch made him desire so many things that  he'd never thought he'd want, but he wasn't sure if that would ever be one of them.**

**Which would mean condemning his beloved to never feeling that pleasure again.  He could not say that, in spite of the way the idea made him feel, he would not offer it again... it was very likely he would.  But for now, he just couldn't face the idea without waves of panic, and in truth he wasn't sure he wouldn't react violently.  He'd tried to kill his compassionate partner twice already, there was no way of knowing how he'd react to the terror.**

 

Jiraiya noted that Ibiki remained a bit withdrawn the rest of the night, but then he was not feeling very talkative himself.  His thoughts dwelled on his beloved's request for him to push at his boundaries... and on Kakashi's love for his Koishii. 

 

His dreams that night seemed worse than ever.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki set the plate of fruit down on the table and watched his partner's eyes darken before looking away, even when he smiled and started to make an excuse his eyes remained filled with sorrow.**

**"I'm just not very hungry in the morning, your meals at night are so delicious I..."**

**Ibiki met his eyes seriously and Jiraiya's humorous excuse faded, "Jiraiya, will you please tell me why you  won't have fruit for breakfast?"  He kept it a request and he wouldn't push any further if his partner did not wish to say.**

 

Jiraiya thought about how to phrase his reply so it would not make Ibiki feel bad, he shouldn't feel bad for doing what was best for him... leaving him was just how things went, no matter how badly it had hurt this time.  "Fruit has negative associations for me, when you first told me Orochimaru was alive I had bought fruit... and the day of the 'accident' I had been leaving to get fruit.  I know I'm being foolish linking fruit to those two events but..."

 

Ibiki nuzzled his neck and placed a kiss there, "I understand and it is not foolish.  Thank you for telling me."

 

Jiraiya nodded, the careful avoidance of the complete truth left him feeling like he was lying... while those two events were called to mind by fruit, the real reason was that fruit was a reminder of the joy he'd had and the taunt of all he never would have... it had been a beautiful fantasy, nothing more.

 

**Jiraiya's eyes held guilt, Ibiki soothed. "I will stop offering them, sometimes things that don't even seem to be a part of a traumatic event are the thing that brings the memory clearest.  It's not wrong Koishii."**

**Jiraiya stroked his cheek his guilt had turned to sorrow.  Now that he understood why he would find other things to offer, so his lover would not have that unpleasant reminder.  "What will you do today?"**

**Jiraiya looked thoughtful, although the sorrow had not vanished from his eyes.  "I think I will visit Tsunade, then I'm sure I'll find things to occupy my time.  I will meet you outside the ANBU building when you are done for the day.  Was there anything you'd like me to get for our evening meal?"**

**Ibiki nodded kissed him tenderly and rose jotted a few items on a list and Jiraiya took it, "Mmmm just the ingredients look good, I can't wait."**

**But Ibiki could see through his cheerfulness, "I love you."**

**Jiraiya rose enclosed his beloved in his arms, kissing him deeply.  "I will see you after work Koishii.  I love you."**

 

\-----------------------------

 

After Ibiki left Jiraiya did as well, his walk through the village was simply another reminder of how alone he was, no one seemed to notice him.

 

Tsunade looked up when he walked in her warm smile a comfort, "Come to rescue me?"

 

Jiraiya laughed, "Just a visit."

 

She pulled out a bottle of Sake poured two cups and stashed it away, before handing one to Jiraiya.  Then looked back at where she 'hid' the bottle walked over took it and placed it on her desk.  He gave her a curious look. 

 

Tsunade grinned, "Makes Shizune's day when she confiscates one... like a game."

 

Jiraiya laughed, he was glad Tsunade had Shizune, they were very good together.

 

Tsunade took a seat on the corner of her desk in a very undignified way and sipped on her cup before asking, "Why didn't you tell me that self absorbed Peacock was back?"

 

Jiraiya shook his head,  "Tarento... I didn't want to upset you.  He's harmless."

 

Tsunade snorted. "Heard about his temper tantrum in the market."  She took a drink from her cup and shook her head, "You are too tolerant.  Well he's not around to harass you anymore."

 

Jiraiya's eyes met hers with a small flash of alarm and she corrected, "Not sure why, but Tarento left in a hurry... even before I could find him and make him as ugly on the outside as he is inside... the patrol report shows him rapidly leaving early evening yesterday."  It really was for the best that he'd left, she honestly thought she may go through with her 'promise' after reading what the idiot had said.

 

Jiraiya thought on the vicious words Tarento had shouted in the market ... he suspected Tarento did not exactly leave, it was likely he'd 'left' this plane of existence... not a good thought and not one he wished to dwell on.  What ever happened had happened several hours ago and could not be altered in any way.  But he hoped his former Angel had just decided it was too dangerous to stay after his tirade.  He had to know Tsunade would come looking for him, possibly feared Ibiki... but if something terrible happened it was from a source the foolish man would have never realized he was in danger from... Kakashi.

 

He knew from sitting in the village watching the people that even when not on patrol Kakashi drifted unseen among the villagers, watching them.  Jiraiya believed it was, much like himself, an effort to live second hand through them.  Seeing them laugh and love as he could not.  A very lonely man, he deserved Ibiki's love as much as Ibiki deserved his unwavering love and devotion...

 

These thoughts were not improving his mood.  Tsunade was giving him a worried look and Jiraiya realized he'd been quiet too long.  "Yes, well... it's for the best if he left."  Jiraiya gave a playful grin. "I was planning on turning you loose on him even before his words in the market."

 

Tsunade saw right through his mask, "You are not happy... are you still worried Ibiki will leave you?"

 

Jiraiya forced a weak smile, "No.  I'm not worried, it will happen soon enough."

 

"Jiraiya, he really does love you."  Her eyes had turned sad and he soothed, "I know, don't worry.  Everything is fine, I promise.  I guess I'm just a bit tired, I didn't sleep well."

 

Jiraiya turned their talk to more easy going topics and just tried to push aside his morose mood for the remainder of his visit.  Still he could not maintain his cheerful facade and soon made his excuse that he needed to get items from the market for their evening meal and left.

 

After picking up those items from the market he decided he may be better off going back to Ibiki's house for the day, he was not in the mood to be around the happy villagers today.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki studied the Patrol log, now he understood why his Koishii had looked so depressed.  The words of Jiraiya's old boyfriend hurt, not the ones about himself, that he was used to ... the words he spoke about his kind beloved.  Jiraiya did not deserve to be treated like that and it was time for him to go talk to the** egotistic **man.**

**The next patrol report negated the thought, there was no need, according to the evening log Tarento had left not long after his verbal assault on Jiraiya.**

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**END OF CHAPTER 9**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 9: FORGIVE ME (EVANESCENCE)


	10. INSIDE ITS RAINING (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 10)

**INSIDE ITS RAINING (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 10)**

**\-------------------------------------------------------**

**According to his man on patrol, Jiraiya's old lover Tarento had left so suddenly that he'd left all his clothing and personal items behind.**

**Ibiki took the mission scroll from his desk and held it out to Kakashi, he was distracted and his eyes lingered on the enthralling face of his ANBU as he thought about the patrol report.   Then the dispassionate nin did something he would never have expected, that left him stunned speechless...**

**Instead of taking the scroll,  Kakashi leaned forward and brushed his soft lips over Ibiki's, his fingers gently grazed his cheek.  During that moment the enigmatic gaze that was nearly as emotionless as his own, showed emotion... Love.**

**Then the slender ANBU put his mask on, looked quietly at him, if Ibiki didn't know better he'd think it was all his imagination.  Kakashi took the assignment scroll and before walking out stated tonelessly, "I will be here long after he leaves."  Then walked out.**

**Behind Ibiki's emotionless shield he was a mess, he'd just stood there, frozen like some inexperienced young kid. Kakashi had kissed him, and he could not deny he was aroused.  He shook his head, this was bad, he'd stood there and let someone else kiss him.  Jiraiya was going to be so hurt.  Kakashi loved him?!  One of his men who he'd worked beside for years... this was a disaster.**

**\-----------------------**

**What happened with Kakashi was the only thing he could think of, it was impossible to concentrate on the routine patrol reports and finally he just locked up his paperwork and went to go find Jiraiya.**

**He was grateful when he found him still at their house.  Full of guilt he took his lover's hand, he'd never thought something like this could ever happen and he had no idea how to handle it.**

Jiraiya's heart was hammering, he called on his very many years of experience and he knew outwardly he'd appear calm, but inside he was frantic.  It was too soon!  Ibiki had decided to end their relationship!  No, no , not yet! 

**"Kakashi kissed me."  Ibiki cringed inside, sometimes it would be nice to have the words to 'soften' the things he said, but all he could ever give was brutal honesty.**

**Jiraiya nodded, his gentle eyes accepting, "I understand.  He loves you."**  

 

Jiraiya felt like his world had ended, but he really did understand.  No, he had not lost him yet, but soon.  It was the beginning of the end, this was not any different than the way it had ended with so many of his Angels.  Guilt and confusion, sorrow, then the final admittance it was over and that they were going on to be with their new lover.

 

**"Jiraiya." Words failed him again and Ibiki floundered, "I need you, want _you_... only you."  The acceptance in his beloved's eyes was more frightening than if he'd been furious.**

 

Jiraiya sighed softly, "You should give him a chance, he will make a very good partner."  He was so weary, how many times had he been in this situation, it was like his life was on a never ending repeating cycle, nothing really changed and the end was always the same.

 

**Ibiki drew Jiraiya forward into his arms and placed gentle kisses over his cheeks and neck, "I have a good partner.  I have the best partner.  You."   He only wanted him, he didn't want another partner, and the way his Koishii was acting left no doubt he was expecting him to end their relationship.  **

 

Jiraiya gave a very sad smile, he just couldn't completely submerge the terrible pain. "He would be by your side, your companion and partner.  You would never be alone."  He reassured letting him know he understood and did not blame him, this was just the way things went, it was not Ibiki's fault.

 

Ibiki embraced him.  "I'm so sorry.  I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you.  You are all I want, there is no one better."

 

Jiraiya gave a little smile and stroked his lover's back soothingly, even the words remained the same every time, so he did as he always had and reassured.  "Shhh... Koishii, it's ok.  I'm not upset."

 

\-----------------------------------

 

**Coming back to work had been agony, leaving his beloved sitting alone in their home.  He wanted to beg him to come with him, to just sit near so he could see him, but that was foolish and somehow he had to fix this catastrophe.**

**He sat waiting for Kakashi's return, he had to talk to him.  He had no idea what he was going to say, but they needed to talk.**

**When the stoic man came and placed the mission log on his desk he still hadn't come up with what to say.  Kakashi simply set the scroll down and walked out, not took his mask or** **Hitai-ate off... or waited while Ibiki reviewed the report like he always had.**

**He rose he knew where he'd find him, this couldn't remain like this, this awkwardness between them.  Ibiki walked into the ANBU locker/changing area, it wasn't like his men could just walk out the door and go home in their ANBU uniform, it also served as a showering area for the 'messy missions'  no one wanted to try to explain to their neighbors why they were coming home in a clean uniform but covered in blood.**

**Kakashi was there as he suspected, he was only half dressed, his chest bare, sharply defined muscles not an inch of his exposed frame softened by excess weight.  Ibiki found himself standing before the other man without even remembering crossing to him.  As he looked in his eyes, Kakashi's gaze remained as reserved it always had been.   Looking at the lean Shinobi, he noticed the man's pale skin was marked by scars.  Ibiki found himself tracing one, Kakashi shivered but from the way his cock hardened it was clear his shiver was one of arousal, his eyes filling with desire.  Ibiki could see many of the scars were rough, he had not been healed by a healer. "Why?"**

**Kakashi looked down at the one Ibiki's finger had brushed and answered quietly, "I take care of them myself."**

**Ibiki was stunned, he stitched his wounds himself.  How many times had the fair haired nin come back from a mission covered in blood and he'd never realized that it was his own?  "You can go to a healer."**

**Kakashi looked uneasy like anyone else he would have withdrawn and immediately left, his tone was a bit hollow, "I don't like to be touched."  Ibiki realized his hand was still tracing the scar and he started to draw it back but he caught his hand and covered it pressing it back to his body.**

**Ibiki sighed and shook his head, he saw pain flash through Kakashi's eyes and the smaller man released his hand and drew back away from him.  Then turned away and slipped on his shirt, Ibiki knew that loneliness and pain.  He embraced the ivory haired Jounin from behind feeling his muscles ripple as he reacted to the threat before loosening in trust.  "Why me Kakashi?  You could have anyone."**

**"I have loved you for years. Watched you knowing I could not touch you, that you would not be able to bear it, but Jiraiya's touch you could."  Kakashi's voice dropped to a hushed whisper, "I watched every touch and wished it was me touching you... and feeling your touch." He made a reluctant move to pull away and sighed, "Let me go."**

**Ibiki loosened his grasp but did not release him. "Do you really want me to let you go?"**

**Kakashi dipped his head, "No, but you must.  I cannot have your touch."  Ibiki let go of him and without looking back the elite ANBU grabbed his mask and Hitai-ate and instantly disappeared.**

**Ibiki was shocked, there were seals to prevent anyone from 'entering' the ANBU building with transportation jutsu and even stronger ones preventing 'leaving' using one.  Just how strong was Kakashi?  How much did anyone even know about him?  He sighed and sank down on the bench, the one person the lonely man reaches out for, and he rejects him... wonderful.**

**\--------------------------------------**

**Jiraiya met him outside of the ANBU as he always had, Ibiki told him about his attempt to talk to Kakashi as they walked.**

**Jiraiya listened, his gaze accepting and when he heard about Kakashi's pain and the words he said, his eyes filled with sorrow.  "You know he is the right one for you, a stabile relationship with a man who loves you so deeply that he's stood beside you for years.  Years of desiring to touch you, but accepting you could not be touched, then he see another touching you.  He has so much pain."**

Jiraiya looked down for a moment attempting to calm himself, this was what was right, this was Ibiki's forever partner.  "When he touched you, you didn't feel distress, he understands and accepts anything you are willing to do."

 

**Ibiki stopped, looked desperately at Jiraiya and took his lover's hand, "I do not want anyone else, I love you, you are everything I want and need.  Jiraiya, please don't leave me."**

Jiraiya knew he should but he couldn't, not yet.  Soon Ibiki would not want him and he could leave.  "I won't leave but you must... see him.  Date, give him the chance to show his love and for you to know him."

 

**Ibiki stiffened, "I do not date."  His stance changed as his beloved looked towards the gate, his lover looked lost in thought and they were not pleasant thoughts.  Ibiki knew he was thinking about leaving... right then, and tried to dissuade him.  "If you leave I will follow you, I will spend the rest of my life looking for you, I won't give you up again.  I love you, need you... only you."**

**Ibiki urged his Koishii to look at him.  "Jiraiya, when we were apart I thought about you constantly.  I kept telling myself that no matter how badly I hurt, you were safe now.  I couldn't bear to  know I would never get to see you again.  Finally I just couldn't go on, all I wanted was to be able to see you, to hold you."**

**His fingers stroked his lover's cheek.  "I wasn't living once you were gone, only surviving in horrible pain.  I went to find you, praying that you were alive, healthy.  Even if you'd found another person to love I couldn't leave you, I would have stayed near because I could not do any other thing.  I need you."**

**Jiraiya had a enigmatic expression on his face, "Even if I'd found another, you'd have stayed."**  

 

Ibiki's words were exactly how he'd felt, but he'd went on a year without needing him.  Erased him.  His Koishii only clung to him because he didn't think he could have a relationship with anyone else.  Once he was dating Kakashi he would no longer cling to him.

 

Ibiki took his hand, "I couldn't bear not seeing you. I couldn't go back to just existing without hope, without love... Without the man I want to touch every minute of every day.  Yes, I would have stayed."

 

Jiraiya knew if he tried he could easily leave no trail for his Koishii to follow, but could he make himself do it?  Could he bear to walk away, never see his precious beloved again?  Very soon he would have no choice but to do so.

 

**Ibiki could see his partner was serious, he'd leave and in spite of his vow to follow, he could spend the rest of his life looking and never get anywhere close to finding him.  He'd do anything to keep his beloved at his side, even date.**

**"If I agree, if I 'date' him will you stay?  Will you continue to live with me?  Even if you won't allow me to touch you I need you near.  Please Jiraiya."**

**Jiraiya's eyes were full of love, "I will stay beside you.  I'm not sure it's right to accept your touch, but I cannot resist the desire I feel for you; for your touch, kiss... for anything you wish to give."**

**Ibiki felt like he was selling himself, but he'd do anything to keep his Koishii beside him... anything.  But this moment he wished Jiraiya's stipulation for him to stay was to allow him to fuck him more than for him to 'date'.**  

 

Ibiki's gaze was hurt, "I will date him." 

 

Jiraiya moved over and enclosed him in his arms tenderly, "I only want you to be happy Koishii."

 

Ibiki softly sighed, he sounded tired. "I _am_ happy with _you_ Jiraiya."

 

**He'd brought this upon himself, his Koishii wanted him to love another so he could go.  So he could leave him forever, he deserved this pain.**

**They continued quietly back to their home, how much longer would it be their home?  How long until he lost his beloved once more?  No, he hadn't lost him the first time, he'd cruelly sent him away and now he'd pay the price for it, and all the other terrible things he'd said and done.**

**When they walked in the door Jiraiya nuzzled him gently, "Koishii, don't be sad.  I'm still here."**

**_... for now._   Although it was unspoken Ibiki still heard it.  Yes, he was still here, he still had a chance to somehow change his mind and prove his love.**

 

Jiraiya soothed him with adoring caresses, he'd hold up the illusion everything was ok for his precious one, just as he had for all the Angel's, comforted and supported them as they found the strength to leave him.  He smiled lovingly, "Did you want any help cooking Koishii?"

 

Ibiki just looked somberly at him and replied quietly, "No.  I just want to hold you."

 

Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, "Yes, I would like that."

 

**As Ibiki enclosed him in his arms, he simply said, "You are the happiness in my world."  He wanted to beg him not to leave him, but that would change nothing.**

**Jiraiya massaged his back and replied softly, "I love you."**

**Ibiki cupped his lover's head drew him into a passionate kiss, he felt his beloved's cock harden, he refused to draw back.  He wanted to be free to give Jiraiya everything he desired, while that was an unrealistic goal it was one he would try to reach.**

**"I want to touch you.  I want you to help me push past my limits... please."  Ibiki hoped he could show him how badly he needed him, only him.  Trusted him, only him and no other.**

 

His partner drew him into the bedroom and they stripped, Ibiki wanted him to push at his restrictions. Jiraiya knew he shouldn't this may be the action that ended their relationship, but very soon it would end anyway and still he did it.

 

Cupping him loosely from behind he traced the part of his lover's ass with light chakra strokes, Ibiki tensed then shivered.  He wasn't sure if the tremble of his Koishii's body had more to do with fear than desire and Jiraiya grew more certain he should stop, but Ibiki breathlessly urged. "More... please." 

**Jiraiya would not fuck him, it was just a touch. He tried to concentrate on only the pleasure letting his lust dull his thoughts.**

 

Jiraiya relented his finger continuing to trace the part, but his other hand wrapped around his lover's cock, skillfully stroking the straining length and tempting him to an urgent hunger.  As he brought his partner's orgasm his finger slipped between the firm globes and he rubbed over his lover's rim firmly and sent a chakra pulse over the sensitive area.  Ibiki arched crying out loudly in rapture as he thrust into his hand as he came.  Jiraiya slipped his finger out from between the cheeks and lifted his hand from his beloved's cock, wrapping his arms around his Koishii and kissing his neck and shoulders.

 

**He could feel Jiraiya's fear, he may act like he was able to accept the chance Ibiki would leave him but  the tight grasp of his arms like he was afraid he would walk away showed otherwise.  And yet he knew if he even stiffened slightly his partner would release him and step away.  He remained in thought for a moment.  That was truly astounding, the pleasure his beloved could give with his touch, it was just a touch to give him pleasure and not a desire to fuck him.**

**Ibiki stroked his arms softly, "I love you Koishii."  He shifted and Jiraiya's arms dropped away, but before he could step back Ibiki turned and enclosed him in his arms placing kisses over his face until he felt the tension leave his beloved's body.**

**Jiraiya rested his hand very lightly on his waist, and stroked his cheek as he looked seriously in his eyes, "Are you ok?  I didn't frighten you, did I?"**

**Ibiki kissed him, "Koishii, I am fine, that felt wonderful."  He'd never imagined feeling anything so amazing as his lover's touch there, and this time it brought less fear along with that rapture.**

Jiraiya couldn't imagine how was he ever going to bear losing his beloved, his partner was the center of his life, but soon he would have no choice and would need to find a way to go on.

**\------------------------------------**

**This was the second day since he'd agreed to date Kakashi; since his ANBU's kiss changed his life.  Ibiki looked at the reclusive man. "Wish to spend time with you."**

**Kakashi's face remained as expressionless as before Ibiki's admission, he just looked at him for several moments then said, "Kiss me."**

**He was very aware of why enigmatic man's reply was to kiss him, any reservation or reluctance would tell him that Ibiki would never truly give his heart.  He was determined there would be no hesitation, no reason to doubt he was serious about wanting to 'get to know' him... that turned out to be all too easy.**

**As his lips touched Kakashi's he felt a rush of desire and at the welcome of his soft lips parting for him he deepened the kiss without thought.  The lithe Jounin met his passion with his own and by the time they broke the kiss both men were short of breath and extremely aroused.**

**Kakashi nodded.  "Yes. I would like to spend time together."  His eyes held more than passion, they held deep love.  Ibiki cupped his face tenderly and the gorgeous man closed his eyes in bliss at his touch.**

**\-----------------------------------------**

**It had been several days now and the situation was driving him mad.  Over last few days things only got 'better' with Jiraiya, his beloved had a serenity to him that he hadn't before his eyes were full of love and adoration.  It was like the time between his plunging the Kunai into his chest and the time when they returned from the Land of Lightning had never happened, but at night he saw his lover's pain, heard it in every sob and whimper as he dreamt.**

**Ibiki had a special 'report' he needed to give Lady Tsunade.  He was not sure whether he should tell her but she'd find out eventually, "Jiraiya is requiring me to date Kakashi."**

**Tsunade just stared at him aghast for a moment before replying, "He what?!"**

**Ibiki tried to remain emotionless but this was so out of control already and he knew it was clear he was hoping she could help. "He found out Kakashi... cares for me.  Gave me the ultimatum that if I did not date him he would leave."**

**She got a pained look on her face and sighed softly, "Oh Jiraiya."  Then drew a deep breath and replied sedately, "I see.  I will talk with him."  But as calm as her tone was her eyes remained full of pain.  "Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I will do what I can."**

**Ibiki nodded and walked out, he wasn't sure what she could do.  He was in such a mess, he was beginning to suspect he had feelings for Kakashi.  When he touched him, it felt 'right'.**

**How could he feel this way!  How could he feel such strong affection for him and Jiraiya?  No, not affection, love.  He loved his extraordinary partner deeply, but ever since that first kiss from Kakashi, his feelings were a mess.  He felt very strongly about Kakashi, but was it love?  And if it was then how on earth was he going to solve this?  How could he find love with someone as amazing as Jiraiya then mess it up so very badly?!**

\-------------------------------------

 

When Jiraiya walked in to visit his friend he'd hoped for a distraction from the looming tragedy of his life but it was immediately clear Tsunade knew.  She made no attempt at skirting the issue and looked at him with distress and asked softly, "Why Jiraiya?  You find someone who loves you, someone you love deeply and you not only are willing to let him walk away but are encouraging him to.  Do you think you do not deserve love?"

 

"Kakashi is a very good man."  Jiraiya replied somberly.

 

She countered, "So are you Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya gave a little smile but it was extremely sad, "You know he won't stay, this is what's best, so that he finds the one who will be beside him forever, that he'll continue to love and will continue to love him.  Kakashi's loved him for over 10 years, never daring to tell him because he didn't think Ibiki would ever be able to touch or be touched."

 

Tsunade shook her head, her voice held a pleading note. "And he never would have if you hadn't come into his life, you were able to help him get past that and start to trust."

 

Jiraiya tried to be playful but his heart was not in it, "Then I've done my duty, helped him find the ability to bond with others, maybe I should become a sex therapist."

 

"Oh Jiraiya, I just wish you cared for yourself as much as you cared for others."  She looked crushed and he soothed, "Everything will be alright, don't worry."

 

Tsunade sighed, she looked like she was fighting back tears. "No, things will not be alright, but I cannot change it.  Jiraiya promise me you will come see me before you leave again."

 

He nodded, they both knew that once he left they'd never see each other again.  "You are a good friend."

 

She nodded and watched him walk out then sank down in her seat, her head in her hands and whispered, "But not _good_ enough."  Her only 'family member' was hurting and would remain so for the remainder of his life.  She'd never see him again once he left and would never know what happened to him, if he was ok or dead, sad or at least found solace in something or someone.  

 

This couldn't be any further from 'alright'.  But she had no idea how to change it.  She couldn't even blame Ibiki, Jiraiya made  him do it, but at this point she didn't think the massive Jounin could walk away any more.  She'd seen the look on his face, Jiraiya was not forcing him anymore, he cared about Kakashi.  A lover's triangle that Jiraiya had created and planned on walking away from.

 

Tsunade disappeared from her office, she was in desperate need of a drink, she only wished that it would help... but she knew from years of experience it wouldn't.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Shizune had been in the outer office, Ibiki had not closed the door and she'd heard his desperate plea.  Ibiki loved Jiraiya deeply, this was tearing him apart, and now it was tearing Tsunade apart as well.  She followed the Sannin and stopped him not long after he'd left the building.

 

She was very angry, how could Jiraiya do this?!  Didn't he care at all about the pain he was causing everyone... the grief he was causing her Saiai, Tsunade?  The small woman wasn't above using emotional black mail or anything else that would work, "You are hurting her, why Jiraiya?!  Why couldn't you accept his love and be happy?!  Now you plan on just walking away from the mess you created, ignore the pain you are causing!  Tsunade loves you!  Even after you walk away she will continue to hurt!  Another like Nawaki and Dan to tear away at the happiness she is trying so hard for.  You are selfish!  She cares so deeply for you, how could you do this?!"

 

Jiraiya gently tried to comfort her, "This is what's best for Ibiki, I wish it didn't hurt her.  I would do anything for her, but I can't, to drag this out would be cruel.  He will leave and he has someone who will make a good partner."

 

Shizune shook her head, her tone was caustic but under it Jiraiya could hear her pain.  "You know if I was like you and made her do what was 'best' for her I'd insist she date you!  Two of the strongest nin in the fire country, two of the most powerful bloodlines, one that will cease upon your death.  Yes, for the 'good of all'.  You'd make a good partner for her, caring and supporting her... but I won't give her up!  I would never force her to have to find love with you or anyone!" 

 

Shizune was near tears she was so furious and snarled, "I'd never leave her and just tell myself she'd 'better off' without me!  Jiraiya, just leave!  Let them all start their mourning, so you can run away and not have to face the fear that one day your relationship _may_ fall apart.  This isn't about what's best for him, it's about you being afraid to take any chances and running away!" 

 

Jiraiya watched her sympathetically, he wished very much that this was not hurting his friend, not hurting Shizune or anyone else, but this was the best thing.  He sighed wearily as she stormed away.

 

Afraid... Yes, he was afraid... ' _running away from the chance the relationship may fail_...'  He wasn't sure about anything, no matter what he did others would hurt,  ' _let them all start their mourning...'_ mourning.  He had no doubt his friend would mourn his loss, just as they both still mourned the day Oro stopped being a part of their 'family' and became a monster.

 

Jiraiya walked into the bar and sat his thoughts drifted to his mother; the compassionate, loving woman,  she'd died because of him.  He'd refused to see his friend as a monster and he'd cost his family their lives.  Tsunade had comforted and protected him, soothed him as best as she was able, year after year suffered beside him every time his relationships failed.

 

Jiraiya looked wearily around the bar simply a way to try to focus his thoughts but what he saw made his actions seem as selfish as Shizune had proclaimed.  He rose and walked over pulling out a seat he quietly said, "Shizune doesn't know your gone does she?" 

 

Tsunade looked up from her drink and sighed, "She'll find me, she always does."

 

"She loves you very much." Jiraiya sipped his drink and tried not to look like he was studying her but he was certain she knew he was.

 

"Yes.  I was so lost until I found her, so empty and alone.  I wouldn't open up my heart to her, for months she followed me, showing up everywhere I went.  Taking care of me when I was hurting inside,  picking me up when I was drunk off my ass, I came to depend on her... on her love.  I was so afraid to hope, afraid to lose her.  I tried to leave her so many times, she always followed me.  Then I accepted her love and the pain eased, the days were not just waiting for my life to end.  She gave me hope, she gave me the love I needed."

 

Jiraiya nodded, Shizune had brought his friend happiness once more and he was very glad she'd found her.  Tsunade had already made quite a good effort at empting the bottle of Sake and he poured them both another cup.

 

Tsunade gave a wry smirk, "She once said you and I should have dated, that we would have made a good couple... then said she'd never give me up to you or anyone."  She shook her head in amusement, but then her smile disappeared and she added, "I love her so much.  I'd do anything for her, even give up my position as Hokage if she asked." 

 

Jiraiya remembered Ibiki's words well, _'If you leave I will follow you, I will spend the rest of my life looking for you, I won't give you up again.'_   It was unlikely his beloved still felt that way, this wasn't like his friend and Shizune.  Kakashi was Ibiki's 'Shizune', a wonderful supportive partner, it was what was best.  No matter how he despaired at the thought of living without his Koishii, no matter what pain he'd suffer.  This was what he needed to do, his partner would find real love with Kakashi. 

_'let them all start their mourning...'_ his friend had already started mourning and he had no idea what to say.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

**Ibiki tried his best to ignore his 'personal issues' when at work, but it was impossible.  All day he'd think about the two men he loved and it did not help that every time he saw Kakashi he wanted to hold him and stroke his face... kiss him...**

**Jiraiya required he 'date' him, but he had not insisted they 'do anything' and thus far he'd resisted anything more than kissing and holding him.  Even though the highly responsive man was a great temptation, he just couldn't take any more complications, this was already so out of control.**

**With those urges came waves of guilt, even when it was Jiraiya he was wishing to touch he'd feel the guilt.  How could he be doing this?!  He knew both of his lover's were hurt by the knowledge of the other, even if his partner tried to hide it under comforting smiles and soothing words.**

**This day was no different than the last few weeks and when Kakashi walked in he was a bit distracted, this changed when he looked at his beloved.**

**Kakashi had come back from a mission, he was coated in blood on one side, now Ibiki was aware that his lover did not seek medical help.**

**His top ANBU set the report on the desk and went to leave, the fact he had not said anything and was going to immediately leave were further red flags.  "Kakashi."**

**The fair skinned man paused but did not turn.  Ibiki rose and what he saw made him immediate rush over and catch his boyfriend as his legs gave, there was now a quickly growing pool of blood beneath him.  Ibiki drew the uniform back and looked at his beloved in dismay.  "We need to go to the medics, this is very bad!"**

**Kakashi shook his head he looked like he'd like to get up a leave but he lacked the strength to get up.**

**"Kakashi please."  Ibiki was fighting surges of panic.  The Shinobi's skin was nearly as pale as his hair, he was bleeding so heavily he wasn't sure it was possible to save him, and if anymore time passed it would be too late.**

**Kakashi's voice was a soft rasp, "I won't.  I can't have anyone touching me."**

**Ibiki quickly replied, "Saiai, you can bear my touch if I'm there and touching you can you ignore their touch?"  He leaned in, kissed him and pleaded. "I don't want to lose you please?"**

**Kakashi looked very uneasy, but after looking at the fear in his beloved's eyes he nodded.  Ibiki gathered him in his arms, although all he really had to do was touch him.  And appeared in Tsunade's office, medics couldn't help it was too late he needed the bleeding stopped immediately.**

**Tsunade rushed over and ripped away the cloth.  Kakashi flinched from her touch and Ibiki cupped his face turning it gently to look in his eyes.  He was trying very hard not to remember the last time he knelt beside someone he loved as they died.  Where was Jiraiya, was he at the house now?**

**Several tense minutes passed and Tsunade sighed, "He's not in danger of..." _dying._ She had  stopped, reluctant to say the word then continued, "He will be ok but we have to go to the hospital, he lost a lot of blood, he'll be weak for several days and he'll need to be watched to make sure infection doesn't set in."  **

**Ibiki saw the look in Kakashi's eyes, he'd disappear, he wouldn't go to the hospital.  "I will watch him at my place."  Tsunade gave the Ibiki a confused look, then nodded but the look on her face next showed she'd realized the thing that he had moments ago... his house, with Jiraiya. It was not going to be a very comfortable thing, but they would have to do for a few days. How on earth did his life get so complicated?**

**Kakashi tried to rise and Ibiki helped him stand, he swayed with blood loss and exhaustion.  Tsunade looked between the two men, "He really should go to the hospital."**

**Ibiki immediately replied, "He'll be better off with me."  He couldn't have Lady Tsunade spook Kakashi and have him disappear, not right now.  "I'm going to bring him there now."  Ibiki didn't wait for her protest just made the hand signs his beloved was already in his arms so 'touching' him wasn't an issue.**

**The first of, undoubtedly, many awkward moments now occurred. Ibiki appeared and Jiraiya looked at Kakashi then back at him, "Use my bed."**

**Ibiki walked into the bedroom and started stripping away their bloody clothing, What was Jiraiya thinking?  He'd arrived with an obviously injured man... no... his badly injured _other lover_...**

 

Jiraiya sighed, he really should leave tomorrow, now that Kakashi was here it would be the best thing to do.  He thought about the way they'd looked when they 'arrived'.  Ibiki's lover was covered in blood, a great deal of that was likely his own.  He would not have brought him here if he was still in danger of dying, which means that even though he'd been healed, the reclusive nin had a serious aversion to hospitals and refused to stay for observation. 

 

Jiraiya went and reheated some soup and a noodle dish from their evening meal from the day before, now that food was ready for Kakashi and Ibiki he was at a loss as to what to do.  He was quite sure Ibiki's new lover would not be comfortable with him around.  Jiraiya looked at the couch that would be his bed tonight, he probably should go see if his usual room was available at the inn.  He'd only need it tonight.  He could say goodbye to Tsunade in the morning and leave right after.

 

\-----------------------------

 

**Ibiki sat his beloved down a moment so he could strip, his own clothes were heavily saturated with blood.  Kakashi could not shower alone, he'd need support, they had to wash the blood off them both so a shower was a necessity.**

**He wished it could be avoided, this whole thing was made even worse by the fact Jiraiya would know they were showering.  In the next room, nude, with each other while he sat out there alone.  For a second he considered stripping Kakashi down and walking into the shower clothed to wash the blood from him, but that was foolish and not terribly effective at getting the blood washed off his own body.**

**Ibiki stripped, this would be the first time Kakashi would see how badly scarred he was, might easily be enough to end his 'love' for him.  Well, it had to happen sooner or later.  As he Ibiki stripped he tried to calm himself, he had an erection, but that was not too surprising since he was striping in front of someone he had an 'attraction' to and he remained quite erect.  He was sure his Saiai would have no issue with it, many nin had very little to no self consciousness about nudity or sex.**

**Ibiki stood Kakashi up and started to strip him.   As he bared his beloved's body, he flushed harder, adding yet another complication.  He'd seen the man's chest once, held him and felt his body, but the sight of him was breathtaking.   He was extremely sexy, the lean musculature, taut stomach, the ivory skin.  He was... "Stunning."**

**Ibiki suddenly realized he'd said that aloud, it was the truth but it would have been better not to say it.  He dragged his eyes up from the incredible body to meet his boyfriend's bicolor gaze... and was surprised to see a faint rosiness to his cheeks.**

**Ibiki quickly deduced Kakashi was not one of those who had lost self consciousness... he was blushing.   While he hadn't a bit of self consciousness, he was certain the fact he was very aroused was not 'helpful' in making his Saiai more comfortable.**

**Ibiki tried harder to calm himself, he continued removing the other man's clothes and started to draw his pants down and froze.  This was not a complication he'd anticipated, Kakashi was erect and to draw off his pants... he could not.**

**Kakashi stroked his cheek and he drug his eyes up  from the other man's cock, his eyes were understanding and he turned away.  He was offering a solution, he could strip him from behind.  As he touched his boyfriend's waist, he flinched, he was baring his back to him.  Allowing him to be at the most vulnerable area for a nin... trusting him at a time when he was feeling weak and defenseless.**

**Ibiki felt a tender affection for the quiet man, he lay his hand on his waist a moment trying to let him get used to being touched then reached around his body, lightly embracing his Saiai as he did.  Kakashi gave a soft moan at the feel of his body cupping his, he unfastened his pants and drew them down exposing his lover's very enticing ass.  Ibiki's erection was now throbbing ... wonderful.  Why couldn't he remain objective...**

**Of course he couldn't imagine anyone male or female who'd have been able to be 'objective' when looking at the highly sensual man.  As he rose from drawing his boyfriend's pants down he fought the urge to caress the firm pale cheeks.**

**Ibiki returned to the front, keeping his eyes up from the other man's cock, and placed his clothes and Kakashi's in a wash basket although he was certain neither could be 'saved'.  Then turned to help his beloved to the shower, he was not surprised to find his Saiai had averted his gaze, he was surprised to see why.**

**While Kakashi had been aroused before he was clearly very aroused now.  Ibiki didn't need to look at his cock to see it, his rapid breathing and the desire in his eyes before they were averted.... his boyfriend was excited by seeing him and feeling his body cupping his.  This did not help calm his own erection.**

**Ibiki tried to ignore the fact they were both aroused, helped him into the shower and started washing the blood off him.  But as he washed the blood from Kakashi there was another slight 'problem', he could not wash his legs, he'd have to sink down before him and he just couldn't especially with the man erect.**

**Ibiki sighed, "I can't wash your legs."**

**Kakashi nodded and once more turned, exposing his back, Ibiki sank down behind him running his hands over the other man's thighs, his hand lightly bushing his boyfriend's balls, then down his legs once more faced with the urge to stroke over his firm ass.**

**Kakashi gave a barely audible whimper as he brushed his balls and trembled as Ibiki stroked down his legs.  He rose and moved around to in front of him, then tenderly cupped his cheek just as he usually did while kissing him.  "Kakashi, are you afraid of me?"**

**Kakashi returned his gaze, although his cheeks remained tinted.  "There is no easy answer to that... No, I am not afraid you'll hurt me."**

**Ibiki stroked his cheek and the reservation the other man had attempted to hide behind disappeared leaving him looking confused and uneasy.  As was his blunt manner he stated calmly in a voice that was placid and nearly emotionless, unlike his expression which was unguarded, "I have never seen a man nude.  I am not very social and tend to avoid places where that would be a possibility, thus I also have not been nude in front of anyone since I was a very small child.  This is a strange experience for me."**

**Ibiki nodded, "So I make you uncomfortable?"**

**Kakashi's voice held no more emotion than before as he replied, but his cheeks had become a bit more red.  "No, not uncomfortable.  Aroused.  I am uncertain what I wish to do."**

**Ibiki studied his face, "You are very beautiful, not in a feminine way, but masculine would not fit... gorgeous does."**

**Kakashi looked conflicted, it was clear the compliment had brought happiness but that was another area that was difficult, expressing emotions to others.  "I think I want you to... touch me."**

**Ibiki gave a slight smile, "How would you like me to touch you?"**

**For the first time Kakashi's voice and expression matched, he sounded as baffled as he looked. "I don't know."**

**"Did you like when I washed you?" Ibiki's thumb brushed his cheek.**

**Kakashi nodded.**

**Ibiki tenderly caressed his back then moved around to behind him as he become very aware of how he was exciting his Saiai.  Ibiki placed light kisses over his back and shoulders, Kakashi soft moans sent a powerful surge of lust through him.  His hand stroked over his firm ass, he heard a gasp and pleading mew.  It was not something he could act on even if the other man wasn't injured.  If he'd not seen another nude or been nude around another he was very evidently a virgin.  His beloved had no idea what he wanted.**

**"I know about sex... from Jiraiya's books."  Kakashi was a bit breathless, and unconsciously pressing into his touch.**

**There was irony... his virgin lover knew about sex from reading his experienced lover's books.  "I'd like to hold you."**

**Kakashi nodded and Ibiki embraced him from behind, really not a wise decision, but he couldn't say he hadn't known it would further tempt them both.  Slowly his stroked over his partner's chest and heard the seductive soft mew as his fingers traced a scar, then stroked down over his stomach feeling the enthralling man's muscles flex at the tease.  He could feel the firm cheeks cupping his aching cock and couldn't help a low groan.**

**His hand had not traveled down past Kakashi's stomach and he hesitated, he wasn't sure if he could touch him sexually, not even to give relief, he had not touched anyone but Jiraiya... his boyfriend lay his hand over Ibiki's where it rested on his stomach.  He was reassuring he did not need him to go any further.  Ibiki placed a kiss on the back of his neck and put distance between their bodies, his voice now very husky as he spoke, "We have to get you dry and into a bed."**

**Kakashi nodded.  Ibiki drew a deep breath, how had he resisted doing more he had no idea.  He'd never had anyone but Jiraiya make him urgently wish to touch them... there was a very sobering thought.  His partner, the man he loved, who was at this moment sitting alone in the living room while he caressed another man.  He felt a spike of shame, how could either of these men love him?**

**He drew Kakashi out of the shower and dried him from behind, it was a great tease but he really could not even think of drying him if he had to see his erection.  His hand lingered a bit longer than it should as he dried his boyfriend's stomach and he felt his gentle hand cover his once more.**

**"I can dry that area." Kakashi softly reassured.**

**Ibiki released the towel, his hand resting on his beloved's hip... when Kakashi had finished drying his pelvis, he took the towel and finished drying down his legs.**

**Kakashi was not the only one trembling now and this really needed to end.  Ibiki led him into the bedroom and gave him a pair of his sleep pants.  They were extremely large on his small frame and Ibiki could not help an amused smirk, but there was an advantage to the overly large pants, his boyfriend's erection was now well concealed.   His smile faded as he directed Kakashi to lay in his Koishii's bed, "Lay here.  I'm going to get you something to eat and drink then you should rest."**

**Ibiki dressed, he was not going to walk out in front of Jiraiya and leave him see how aroused he was by another man.  This whole thing was so wrong.  "I'll be right back."**

**When Ibiki walked out to the living room he found it difficult to meet Jiraiya's eyes but his beloved serenely stated, "I've heated up yesterdays meal and put on some tea.  I hope he likes tea."**

**Ibiki replied quietly, "I don't know."  His Koishii had given up his bed, just as he now intended on giving _him_ up.  Jiraiya stroked his cheek and walked into the kitchen returning a moment later with two meals and two cups of tea on a tray.  **

**Ibiki looked in his beloved's accepting eyes, "Please don't leave."**

**Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, "It's ok Koishii, everything is ok, I promise.  Now you should bring him in the food and drink before he falls asleep, I'm sure he's very tired."**

**Ibiki looked at the tray, two plates on a tray... he expected him to stay with Kakashi... and he should, until he fell asleep.  "Please don't go Jiraiya."**

**He was very aware his beloved had not said he'd stay and he knew the moment he left the room Jiraiya would leave... and why shouldn't he?  Ibiki had 'gave' his bed to his other lover and not spent even a moment with him since arriving.  Yes, he knew he couldn't but it did not stop the guilt.**

Jiraiya caressed his Koishii's face, he looked so frightened, no he couldn't leave him not yet... but soon.  "I will stay, but you should go eat now.  Let me know if he does not like tea and we will find something else for him to drink."

 

Ibiki kissed him before taking the tray, "I'm sorry." 

 

**Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, "It's ok, now go."**

**As he turned to go, Ibiki quietly replied, "No, it's not ok."  and continued into the bedroom.   Nothing was ok about this, and his heart hurt.  His desire to hold Jiraiya only bringing further guilt.**

 

Jiraiya's smile disappeared as his Koishii left the room, this hurt so very much, but he could do this.  He could pretend everything was ok, he'd had a lot of practice over the years.  Of course he'd never found himself continuing to stay even after his beloved found another and the other lover moved in, this one was new.

 

Jiraiya sighed, the couch it was... he would not be 'welcome' in the bedroom now and no longer had a bed anyway.

 

**Ibiki found Kakashi half asleep and sat on the bed beside him, "I have some rice and fish... and tea, do you like tea?"**

**Kakashi sat up but instead of taking the food or tea stroked his face gently, "I'm sorry I frightened you."  Ibiki didn't have a reply for that, yes his ANBU got hurt, and as a top nin Kakashi got some of the most dangerous missions but...**

**"Saiai.  Why can't you be touched?" Ibiki saw his boyfriend's gaze slip away.**

**"I really can't say."**

**Ibiki didn't press, but he wondered if his Saiai didn't know or if he couldn't tell him.  "Eat a bit and have something to drink before you rest."**

**Kakashi nodded, he took the tea and replied to the earlier question, "I do like tea."**

**They ate quietly, but Ibiki kept thinking about his Koishii in the other room.  Normally he would have cooked for them and they'd be eating together, now it was just another thing he'd lost.  Slowly he was losing everything and his beloved would soon go as well.**

**Ibiki did not feel hungry and watched his weary boyfriend as he ate a few bites and drank the tea then lay down, he was already half asleep and Ibiki stroked his face.  He wanted to beg him not to do that again, not to get injured, not to avoid getting help...  but it would change nothing.**

**When Kakashi fell asleep Ibiki rose and carried their dishes out, Jiraiya was cleaning up in the kitchen as he entered and he enclosed his beloved from behind.  His extraordinary Koishii stroked his arm lightly, "Did you need anything else to eat?"**

**Ibiki asked softly, "Did you eat anything?"**

**Jiraiya calmly replied,  "No, guess not.  Hmm, I suppose I should reheat something."**

**Ibiki released him and turned him, "Would you like me to cook something?"**

**Jiraiya smiled, "No Koishii, I'm sure you are tired and I can just reheat something or have ramen."**

**Ibiki sighed, "This is so very... wrong."**

**"Shhh Koishii, everything is ok."  Jiraiya cupped his face stroking it gently with his thumb.**

**Ibiki shook his head, it did no good to apologize.  Jiraiya expected to be treated like he wasn't important and that was exactly what he was doing.**

 

Jiraiya saw his Koishii's distress and hugged him, rubbing his back lightly.  This was just the way things went, this sorrow and guilt just part of the process for him to move on to his new lover.  Jiraiya felt Ibiki flush hard, he could not help his own body responding.  He was not used to the new lover being moved in while he was there and... he knew it was deplorable but he desired his beloved very much, he should have went to the inn.

 

**Ibiki didn't release him, his guilt grew... he wanted his beloved... just as he'd desired Kakashi earlier... this was so very painful.  Ibiki met his partner's eyes, "Can I kiss you?"**

Jiraiya hesitated, then nodded.  He was fully aware of what would happen, he knew his Koishii had been aroused earlier.  He craved every touch he could get before he lost his beloved for ever... right or wrong.  No, there was nothing 'right' about it.  He knew it was wrong, but he still accepted his lover's kiss and all that would come with it.

 

**Ibiki kissed him, he tried to keep it light but he wanted Jiraiya very much... it was reprehensible, like he was using him.  Jiraiya nuzzled his throat, "It's ok Koishii."  He wasn't sure if that was an agreement that they shouldn't or an acceptance, but as they renewed their kiss it ceased to matter.**

**Jiraiya clung to him, his kiss passionate.  His skilled mouth left his to kiss and suck gently along his throat licking the sensitive scar tissue down to his collar then looking in his eyes.  Ibiki nodded and fought the guilt as his lover unbuttoned his shirt and continued down.  He gave a muted whimper wanting to cry out but racked with guilt, this terrible conflict was tearing him up inside and filling him with shame.**

 

Jiraiya longed to hear his cries, but his Koishii would not wish his new partner to know.    He looked up at his now ex-lover, pleading for this last chance, he wanted to taste him one more time.  Ibiki nodded and Jiraiya unfastened his pants.  He gave low moans of pleasure as his mouth covered and drew on his beloved's cock,  Ibiki panted and made soft groans and urgent sounds.  Even as Jiraiya brought his Koishii  to completion he knew it was over.  He could not touch him again.

 

**Jiraiya's pleading look hurt, begging as if he did not have the right to touch him.  Even as he felt the rapture of his beloved's mouth  he tried to remain quiet, not wishing to wake Kakashi.  Everything was so out of control, how could everything go so wrong?!  Jiraiya easily  brought his orgasm and rose, backing away, his eyes full of longing.**

**"You should get some sleep Koishii." Jiraiya's face was placid, but his voice was soft and full of sorrow.**

**"Jiraiya." Ibiki had no idea what to say, he was hurting him so badly.**

**The experienced eyes turned sad and he shook his head, "Shhh... everything is ok.  Go, sleep now."**

**Ibiki said the only thing he could, "Jiraiya I love you."**

**Jiraiya gave a little smile, "I know.  I love you always my Koishii, go sleep."**

**Ibiki did not miss the terrible pain that flooded Jiraiya's eyes when he said 'I love you.'  His beloved had decided to go.**

**Jiraiya urged, "Go sleep, I will be here in the morning."**

**Ibiki nodded wishing he knew what to say, then walked in to go to bed.  He did not sleep that night, he lay listening to Kakashi's quiet breaths and thinking about his beloved in the other room.  He wished he could hold him as he slept, but that like so many other things was now 'lost'.**

 

Jiraiya could not sleep, he hurt so very badly, and it would only get worse after he left.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

**Ibiki nodded, this was a horrible mess... and so very painful.**

 

Throughout the day Jiraiya watched over Kakashi, he slept a lot waking only to eat small amounts and drink then sleeping once more.

 

**When Ibiki came home from work he saw Jiraiya cooking something, it was horrible how greatly he missed having his beloved meet him and their slow walk to the house, cooking a meal together, kissing him and holding him... Everything in his life felt so wrong now and he could not see how it could ever be right again.**

**Kakashi woke as he walked into the room, and his loving gaze made Ibiki's heart fill with affection, he kissed him tenderly and remained with his hand gently cupping his beautiful face, "How are you feeling?"**

**"I am feeling better." His tone said he was thinking about getting up and 'resuming' his life, taking missions just as he'd probably done many other times when badly injured and his wounds had been stitched, not healed.**

**"Please rest a few more days Saiai." Ibiki urged.**

**Kakashi studied his eyes then nodded.**

**Jiraiya serenely carried a tray of food in and set it down, then just as quietly left, they ate then Kakashi yawned, "Will you hold me for a bit?"**

**Ibiki nodded, then lay beside him and gathered his Saiai to his side, just like he'd done so many times with Jiraiya... and still wished to do even as he enjoyed holding his boyfriend lovingly to his body.  He was aroused by the feel of his boyfriend laying against him and when Kakashi sleepily nuzzled him and placed a kiss on his neck his cock pounded with need.**

**Jiraiya drifted in quietly picked up the tray and walked out his gaze down, but Ibiki didn't have to see his eyes, he'd saw the surge of strong pain as his beloved had seen him laying beside Kakashi holding him.**

**After his Saiai was sleeping Ibiki rose, he walked out.  "Jiraiya."**

**Jiraiya smiled and shook his head, "Everything is fine Koishii."  Even though he smiled the sorrow in his eyes did not fade.**

**Ibiki's eyes grew damp with tears, "It is not fine... nothing is fine."**

**Jiraiya rushed over and enclosed him in his arms, "Shhhh... Shhh Koishii.  Don't cry, please my precious Koishii, don't cry."  He placed tender kisses over Ibiki's face and softly rubbed his back.**

**"Jiraiya everything is not fine. I love you and need you, I long to hold you and touch you.  Everything is not fine, but I don't know how to fix it."**

**"Koishii, don't cry... please.  I love you so much." Jiraiya embraced him protectively and continued to place light kisses on his face, "I hate to see you in pain."**

 

Ibiki closed his eyes and leaning into his kisses like he was desperate for his love, Jiraiya sighed softly, "Koishii I love you.  Please don't be sad."

 

**Ibiki was still aroused and aching from laying beside Kakashi, Jiraiya's eyes dropped to his erection with longing then slipped away.  Ibiki knew if he asked his wonderful partner would probably still take him in his mouth.  He drew back, he didn't want that, he wouldn't use Jiraiya.  He wanted so much to lay holding his beloved... just as he'd just done with Kakashi.  Ibiki averted his eyes.  "I should go to bed."**

**Jiraiya nodded, "Sleep Koishii, things will get better."**

**Ibiki didn't correct him just walked out of the room, for a second night he lay awake all night, even worse was that on top of his misery... his body remained aroused.**

**In the morning Ibiki quietly got ready and walked out as his boy friend slept, Jiraiya was in the kitchen and cooking once more he turned and smiled, "I'm making breakfast would you like some?"**

**Ibiki shook his head he couldn't say anything the only words that he wanted to say would change nothing. _'Please don't leave me.'_**

****

**Ibiki heard movement in the bedroom and went in to tell his Saiai good bye.  His boyfriend's nude form walked out of the bathroom, his skin still slightly damp from a shower, and blushed when he saw him.  His eyes darkened in desire as he saw Ibiki flush hard, his lithe stride as he crossed to him only made Ibiki's need grow.**

**Ibiki kissed him, Kakashi mewed and pressed into him as he eagerly responded and it quickly grew passionate.  He released him and stepped back, cupped his beloved's cheek and said, "Get some rest Saiai, I will be back tonight."**

**Kakashi nodded as Ibiki left the room he saw his boyfriend slip on another pair of his sleep pants and remembered his beloved had no clothes.  The ones he'd wore had been badly blood stained, he would have to get him some.**

\---------------------------

 

Ibiki had left and Jiraiya was a bit surprised when looked up from his writing to see Kakashi had rose from bed and walked out.  He had never seen the younger man without his mask before they had 'arrived' here, and definitely not without clothes... he was fairly certain no one but Ibiki had.  His chiseled lean frame was riveting.

 

Kakashi looked at him solemnly for a long moment, what he said was the last thing Jiraiya expected from the socially reclusive nin.  "I want you to have sex with me."

 

Jiraiya gave him a gentle, but confused smile. "Why?"

 

"I am sexually inexperienced, Ibiki will not fuck me,  when I am not inexperienced anymore he will fuck me."  Kakashi stated bluntly.

 

Jiraiya nodded his understanding but quickly corrected that it was an agreement to have sex with the smaller man.  "I do not think that it would be a good idea."

 

"If you will not have sex with me then I will have to find another."  Kakashi replied tonelessly his face completely emotionless, simply a statement not threat, as if it did not matter who did it.

 

"I'm not saying I will not." Jiraiya corrected, although in truth he would not do it no matter what reason the other man had for wanting it.  He gently asked, "Kakashi.  Why has no one touched you?"

 

"I don't like being touched." Kakashi replied enigmatically.

 

"Sex involves touching, a lot of it."  Jiraiya explained, his tone expressing the concern he held.

 

Kakashi's eyes were intense.  "Why?  Just use lubrication, push into me and fuck me..."

 

_He saw the dismay in the Sannin's eyes at his words and it left him confused.  This was another reason he choose not to interact with others, it was like they were a completely different species, or perhaps he was.  Nothing they did or said made sense._

 

Jiraiya almost cringed at the horrifying thought and shook his head, "Now that is something I will never do.  You will have to find someone else."

 

The reclusive man didn't walk away, just continued looking at him, then seriously inquired. "Why?"

 

Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, "I will not hurt you, and that would hurt you."

 

Kakashi looked uncertain and even his voice lacked the emotionless quality it usually held, "Why won't you hurt me?"

 

Jiraiya gave him a understanding and sympathetic look, "People should not hurt people they care about."  He knew Kakashi had no experience interacting with others, he was confused, the reactions he was receiving were not those he'd expected.

 

Ibiki's new partner now looked baffled and extremely uneasy, "Why would you care about me?"

 

"You are a good person." Jiraiya replied warmly, "I will never hurt you."

 

Kakashi looked conflicted, his tone held a hint of distress. "Why you?  Why could he bear your touch?"

 

Jiraiya knew he'd been hurt by every touch Ibiki had given him and replied cautiously.  "It started... slowly.  We'd come here to talk, he kissed me as I was about to leave."

 

Kakashi's gaze dropped, "He could bear it because he wants you, even now he wants your touch."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "But he also wants yours, it took a very long time for me to be able to touch him as freely as you are able to now... he wants your touch very much."

 

Kakashi looked somber, "I want his touch."

 

Jiraiya gave him a kind smile, "Kakashi you do not need someone else to have sex with you, you need to have patience.  Very soon now I will be gone and you and he would grow closer... In time you will have sex, with him, the one you truly _wish_ to be touching you."  Jiraiya studied his face, the pale nin had paled even further.  "You should not be up yet, please go lay down and I'll bring you something to eat."

 

Looked like his commentary about being a sex therapist was ironically true.  The only exposed skin that anyone ever saw on Kakashi was his fingers, toes and half his face... every inch beside that was covered at all times... now Jiraiya knew why.  The quiet man could not bear to be touched, lack of socialization and lack of trust had left him completely isolated and he'd withdrawn.

Kakashi turned and walked slowly back to the bedroom and Jiraiya watched him lay down in what was now the smaller nin's bed.  He refused to think on that, Ibiki had gotten him to stay for a few more days to help care for his lover while he worked, but he had to leave soon.  Another day or two and Ibiki's new  lover could do as he liked without any issues.

 

_Kakashi watched Jiraiya as he walked in with some noodle dish and a cup of herbal tea.  Why did Ibiki want this man's touch so much?  As he set the tray down Kakashi brushed his fingers over Jiraiya's, he looked up at him, he did not pull his hand away or try to touch him... he didn't look like he expected anything, just accepted Kakashi touching him with serenity.  When he drew his hand back Jiraiya continued as if he hadn't just touched him. "I brought udon noodles and orange blossom tea, I will be back in a few minutes to see if you need more."_

_Kakashi didn't speak but Jiraiya didn't look like he expected he would.  After the Sannin walked out he looked down at the food, then began eating a bit, it was strange to have someone cook for him... Jiraiya made it seem like it was normal to take care of your former lover's new partner, he was so accepting._

_Accepting... he hadn't looked surprised by being touched, simply accepted he had and continued taking care of him.  This whole thing confused him, he usually had an aversion to touching others, but he hadn't with Jiraiya... Why?  When the Sannin came in with more tea Kakashi watched him, nothing had changed, he acted no different than before.  People always expected things, tried to freely touch him if he made the error of accidentally touching them, but the Sannin hadn't_.

 

Jiraiya could see Kakashi was uneasy, probably because of the touch.  "Would you like some more tea?"  The solemn man just looked at him a few minutes longer then nodded.  He took the cup and poured more tea, when he set it down.  Kakashi didn't reach for it just continued to study him.

 

_"Touch me."  Kakashi wasn't sure why he said it, all this was so... odd._

_Jiraiya's fingers rested lightly on his hand then lifted, he still did not look like he expected him to touch him, or to be allowed to touch him again.  Kakashi turned his attention to the tea and Jiraiya said calmly, "I will be back in a few minutes to get the dishes and see if you would like more tea."_

 

As Jiraiya left he dwelled on Kakashi's actions.  That was a surprising step from the reclusive man, he was glad he was making these small steps.  Ibiki was good for him... his hand had been so very soft, silky skin that was always protected from the elements.  Protected, just as he protected himself from others getting too close by remaining emotionless...

 

\-------------------------  
  
END CHAPTER 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 10: INSIDE ITS RAINING (ART OF DYING)


	11. ASKING TOO MUCH (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 11)

**ASKING TOO MUCH (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 11)**

\----------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki tried to find an excuse to justify him staying late at work, he was extremely uncomfortable at his house now.  He wanted Jiraiya, his body ached with it, and Kakashi aroused him with every unconsciously seductive move.  But eventually he faced that he needed to return home, Jiraiya was taking care of his 'replacement'.**

**Even as he thought that he felt a surge of grief, soon now his Koishii would leave and he'd never see his beloved again.  Right now the last place he wanted to go was back to his house, he didn't think he could bear looking in either of their eyes.  His reluctance to go home had delayed facing the problem, but nothing could solve it and he did have to go home.**

**Once again he walked home alone, he'd be doing this from now on.  No one beside him, no one to cook for every night,  he wasn't sure if he wanted Kakashi to move in or that his boyfriend would even wish to.  But even if he did move in he was an ANBU and had missions and duties.  They would not be routinely walking home together and when he'd go on a mission it could be days before he saw him, possibly weeks if it was a mission from Lady Tsunade.**

**\-------------------------**

**Ibiki walked in Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, "Kakashi is doing well, he ate lunch well, I will go make something for evening meal."  Ibiki watched him walk out of the room, although not physical, this pain was as great as any he'd experienced while being tortured and left him just as hopeless... and just as helpless to stop it.**

**Ibiki walked into the bedroom and Kakashi rose to embrace him, Ibiki cupped his cheek and kissed him softly, then hugged his slender beloved to his chest tenderly.**

**Kakashi looked up, "I touched Jiraiya."**

**Ibiki felt a faint uneasiness, Jiraiya wouldn't have had sex with him; even if Kakashi wasn't a virgin, which he was...**

**Kakashi pet his throat lightly, "I understand why you want his touch now."**

**Ibiki could see it all too well, Jiraiya on his knees taking Kakashi in his mouth, he wasn't sure how he felt about it.  Jiraiya accepted him doing anything he wished with Kakashi right from the start, didn't he have the same rights?  And who was he to even think he had any right to expect anything from Kakashi?**

**Kakashi's gaze softened, "Not sexually.  I only want your touch."**

**Ibiki felt ashamed at the relief he felt at the knowledge that it had not been sexual.  Ibiki nuzzled his throat and placed a kiss there but he was haunted by all the times he'd done that exact same thing to Jiraiya.**

 

**Ibiki was well aware it would likely frighten him, but still quietly urged, "Please Jiraiya... you won't stay.  Let me have the memory of your body pressed against mine, even if I find it distressing it will be something I can hold on to."**

**Jiraiya's eyes filled with tears, "Koishii you have no idea how often I felt that way... it hurts me to make you feel this way.  You are so very precious to me."**

**\---------------------**

**Ibiki had nothing to say to either of his lovers in the morning, he was exhausted and much like waking from one of his dreams he did not think he could bear to be touched by either man.  Both looked like they understood and he left for work without saying more than a few words to either.**

**He'd only been there an hour before Kakashi came to his office, Ibiki knew his lover was recovered  there was no need for him to remain resting.  He'd forgotten to get him a set of clothes and clearly his beloved had been back to his apartment and dressed before coming.**

**Kakashi embraced him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.**

**Ibiki felt shame and pain as he flushed hard, he stroked his lover's face, just as he always had to Jiraiya...  He was betraying him again, once more 'throwing him away', everything about this situation was a nightmare.  He wished Lady Tsunade would be angry with him, he truly did not deserve someone as extraordinary as Jiraiya.  He knew better than to believe he'd be ok, his Koishii would not be 'alright', he didn't need anyone to tell him that.  The memory of all those mournful looks he'd given him since he went to get him back from the Land of Lightning haunted him.  How could such an amazing man love him?**

**Kakashi sighed softly, "He cannot go.  I do not want to share you, but he cannot go, you love him."**

**Ibiki placed tender kisses over his lover's beautiful face, Kakashi closed his eyes and leaned into them, "I love you Ibiki."**

**"I love you Kakashi." This was not fair to Kakashi, everything was so messed up.  Ibiki felt such a chaotic array of feelings with every thought and every touch of either man.  If ever there was an unbearable torture this was it.  He was miserable, so very tired, and there would be no end to this pain.**

**Kakashi backed out of his arms, "It's time for me to return to mission status."**

**Reluctantly Ibiki nodded, now that he knew how easily he could lose him he didn't want him to take missions anymore.  But he was a Shinobi, an ANBU, it was his life and couldn't just change because he was afraid to lose him.**

**Ibiki assigned him an easy surveillance mission and his lover walked out.  He focused as best as he could on his job but he knew he was not filling his duties any longer.  His life was such a mess that he could not focus on the fine details he had to be aware of, it was likely he'd need to have the Hokage assign someone to take over at least until he could work out some of the huge problems over whelming him... which likely meant permanently.**

**Soon he'd lose Jiraiya.  Although he wouldn't be dead, at least at first, he would have no idea if his Koishii was alive and never see him again.  He'd rather be tortured than to bear the fear and the pain he was in now.  He feared Kakashi going on the mission, even this simple mission and he would not be able to properly assign him missions anymore... he couldn't bear to lose him.**

**But it turned out it wasn't Kakashi he lost, not that day, it was Jiraiya.  He knew the moment he walked in the door, he wasn't sure how but it was as if the light had went out of the room leaving everything grey and shadowed.  Kakashi would not be back from his mission until tomorrow, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad.**

**Ibiki sat on the couch, the couch Jiraiya he'd sat on the first time he'd been in the house.  Everywhere he looked there was a memory of touching his Koishii, and now he'd lost him again.  He felt such despair, sitting on the couch he cried.  He had no idea what to do, he needed Jiraiya, wanted to hold him and touch him.  He needed his love so very much but he'd given him up... again.  How could he love both men, nothing made sense, it hadn't since the day Kakashi had first kissed him.**

 

_Kakashi watched, he couldn't bear the devastation on his beloved's face.  He wasn't sure how this was going to work but Jiraiya had to come back, Ibiki needed him.  Kakashi summoned Pakkun, it felt like the wrong thing, to bring back the man who also held his beloved's heart... but in his he knew Ibiki would never be the same, this sorrow would remain in his heart and he could not bear to be the cause.  "Find Jiraiya.  He has to come back."_

_Pakkun nodded and ran off towards the gate, the little nin hound was as close to a friend as he had.  He understood him, but he had no more answers than Kakashi as to what to do.  He would support him in any decisions he made.  Somehow they would find a solution... at least that was what he told himself but he really didn't believe that was true._

_Ibiki had given him a very easy mission, it was not hard to see he was afraid he'd die.  He couldn't continue doing that.  He was an ANBU there were missions they need him for, but his beloved would be distressed and alone each time waiting for him to return.  And if one day he did not return Ibiki would be alone once more.  Jiraiya the person who loved him and could comfort him would never know._

_The first day Pakkun returned it was without good news. "He's good. I can't track him... you don't look so good."_

_Kakashi nodded.  He had seen how his beloved had been suffering now, and wondered how many days his beloved had not slept. "Lady Tsunade is not doing well... Ibiki, I'm not sure when he slept last..."_

_Pakkun studied him, "When's the last time you ate... you're looking pale again."_

_Kakashi gave a listless shrug, then stated.  "I'm sending a few more of the nin hound out in different directions."_

_The wise little nin dog nodded, "I'm going toward Earth Country... just a hunch.  It's opposite of the direction he was said to have gone last time he left."  It would take several days, Kakashi just nodded and watched his friend trot away, his nin hounds would find him, they had to._

_That night Ibiki slept, but it was far from restful for either of them.  Ibiki gave a soft cry, "Jiraiya... please... don't..."_

_Kakashi lay and listened he knew better than to attempt to wake him, he wondered how often Ibiki's dreams were not of the torture he'd endured but of something happening to Jiraiya... he remembered how his beloved's face had looked when he'd realized Jiraiya was walking into Orochimaru's trap._

_He'd caused this mess, he loved him and let that cloud his thinking, stepped between him and the man he loved and caused this whole mess.  The two men had been happy. Tsunade blamed him and she was right.  She'd called him to her office to ask for him to send his nin dog out to try to find Jiraiya, but he already had, her words held a barely disguised accusation of his 'love' for Ibiki causing this 'situation'._

_Ibiki hadn't needed him, he'd been happy and in love with Jiraiya.  What he'd done was as selfish as what she'd implied, it did not show love to cause the man he loved this pain... this whole thing was wrong.  Even knowing this it was far too late to walk away,  he prayed his nin hound found Jiraiya soon... Ibiki needed **him**_.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

_It had been several days now, without any of his nin hound finding Ibiki.  Kakashi had completed the simple mission he'd been given, that's all his lover would give him, things a Jounin should be assigned not ANBU  missions._

_It left him much too much time to think, and to watch how his partner was suffering, it was painful to see the sorrow in his beloved's eyes.  If it wasn't for Jiraiya he would never have been able to touch Ibiki, his love had started healing the damage he'd lived with for so long.  Tsunade had came right out and made that clear in one of her rants, during the frequent calls to her office to ask if he had heard anything yet... as he'd leave, he'd hear her crying._

_Jiraiya was needed very much, by more people than just Ibiki, although he told himself his lover was the only one that really mattered.  His dogs hadn't come back, he had nothing to tell her.   Ibiki didn't know.  It would be cruel to get his hopes up like Lady Tsunade._

_Hopes; he randomly wondered how many people in the village wished that he'd gone and not Jiraiya.  Didn't matter, he would not give his beloved up even if they 'threw stones' at him every time he was seen._

_Jiraiya had encouraged him to express his love to Ibiki.  If he loved him so much why would he do that, why would he just walk away?  It did not make sense._

_Tsunade had not come right out and said it... but Shizune had, Jiraiya [u]made[/u] Ibiki date him, that should hurt, but it did not.  It did not matter, Ibiki loved him now and that had not been something forced._

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya's thoughts dwelled on his Koishii, but then they did every moment of his days and nights.  Ibiki had not even been able to speak to him, Kakashi was ready to go back to mission status, he was not needed anymore.  He could not remain there wallowing in depression, he'd survive this just like the others.  Yes, this was pain so awful that the world was empty and all colors were now as spiritless as shades of grey, but he would go on and not give in to the crippling despair. 

 

This was what was best for Ibiki... and for Kakashi.  The entrancing young man had been locked inside himself, alone for so many years, this was what he had needed.  They would be good for each other, they had an understanding for and connection with each other right from the beginning.

 

Jiraiya almost couldn't leave when he saw the despair in his friend's eyes, talking to Tsunade had been very difficult and he could still 'feel' how she had clung to him.  It had been heartbreakingly reminiscent of how she'd grasped him when she thought he'd die... both times.  It hurt so much to cause her such grief... but he could not stay, he'd have never been able to resist his urge to be near his Koishii and he'd cause conflict in Kakashi and Ibiki's new relationship.

 

He'd done all he could to reassure her, promising to send back letters to her frequently... the way she'd cried, cradled to Shizune... it was a vision he would never forget.  Or Shizune's face as she looked accusingly at him and tried without success to calm her beloved.  He had to remember this was necessary, there was no other way, his Koishii's happiness had to come before everything.  He would be very happy with his new partner.

 

During the day it was easy to keep telling himself that, but at night it was much harder to bear the loss.  During the day he pushed himself hard to travel as far as possible, resisting his urge to go back and touch his beloved, and hoping to exhaust himself so he could sleep. 

 

Sleep was not a comfort, his nights were filled with dreams of his loved one, sadly not the ones where his Koishii was angry and wanting him to leave.  No those would have given him reassurance he was doing what was necessary... his dreams were of laying in his lover's arms content and feeling the gentle strokes of his hands... then finding himself suddenly alone in a dark cold place, lost and hurt not knowing where his beloved was. 

 

This was the motivation he needed to continue traveling even at night until too exhausted to continue.  He avoided villages, he couldn't bear to see people... the happy loving couples living a life he'd never know.

\-----------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya stopped for the 'night', it was nearly dawn and he was exhausted, but still he sat up looking into the fire.  When dawn came he'd continue, he'd crossed nearly all of Fire Country, tomorrow he would skirt the Hidden Grass Village and Hidden Rain Village and enter the Land of Earth.

 

His contemplation of the futility of his life was interrupted by the unexpected arrival of a Nin hound he knew well.  "Pakkun... why are you here?"

 

The small dog looked exhausted himself, he had to have been traveling day and night to have caught up with him, but why?

 

Pakkun lay, but it was only in exhaustion and not because he was relaxed.  He was most definitely not relaxed, he was worried about Kakashi, he'd been pale and not looking well and that had been days ago.  "You need to come back... I was sent to tell you to come back to Leaf." 

 

Jiraiya firmly shook his head, "No.  I'm doing the best thing."

 

"For who.. yourself?  You're the only one reaping the benefits of running away from the problem..."  Pakkun eyed him.  "On the second thought no one is.  Ibiki's distraught, Kakashi's a mess, Lady Tsunade is crying... and you look like hell.  Who is winning in this?"

 

It brought him a surge of nearly overwhelming sorrow to hear his friend was crying and that his Koishii was sad, it was a bit confusing that Kakashi was 'a mess' but understandable if his lover was sad.  It would get better, soon he'd forget him.  "Ibiki will recover."

 

Pakkun's piercing gaze said he already knew the answer.  "Will **_you_**?  Will you just go on to live your life and forget about him?  Will you stop loving him?  Do you think him shallow... frivolous... Do you **_really_** think he'll just go on?"

 

The little nin hound have a disgusted snort, "You hand him off to another and tell yourself he'll be fine.  Why don't you just commit suicide, that's the nonsense that the selfish people who do that tell themselves.  That everyone will be better without them, that the ones who love them will just go on, that they'll be fine... Seriously Jiraiya I never thought of you as a stupid man, stop lying to yourself and come back and face the problem." 

 

"Kakashi has all of us nin hound out looking for you."  Pakkun rose shook himself off like he'd been soaked in something unpleasant and added one last admonishment before he disappeared back into the woods on his way back to Leaf.  "You claim to love him, cowardly running away and leaving him in pain is not love."

 

Shizune called him a coward too.  Was this what was 'best' for Ibiki or were they right, he was just running away afraid of being hurt?  He didn't think anything could hurt more than what he was doing, leaving the only person he wished to touch every moment of everyday, the one that made his empty life whole.

 

Kakashi had sent Pakkun to find him, sent all his nin hound out, he had to be very worried about Ibiki.  Why was he sitting here trying to justify a decision he'd already made... he had to go back, this wasn't the solution for any of them.

 

\---------------------------------------------

**Ibiki walked into the Hokage's office, it was immediately clear she was still taking Jiraiya leaving very badly.  Her eyes were puffy and she looked like he'd come right after her weeping.  Her anguish was well understood by him, he felt the same despair, he tried not to let Kakashi see it but... his Saiai knew, he could not hide it, or the shame he felt for mourning the loss of his Koishii and not being 'content' with his boyfriend.**

**He'd had to assign a mission to his beloved, so tonight he would not need to pretend he wasn't hurting, but having to give his Saiai the mission was the reason he'd come to see the Hokage.  "I need a replacement... I cannot do my job.  I cannot assign missions..."**

**Tsunade sighed wearily but Ibiki was sure it was lack of sleep not any 'issue' with his request.  She nodded and clarified, "You can't assign missions to Kakashi..."**

**Ibiki nodded and waited, she quietly replied, "Yes... pick someone, let me know who, and go on leave."  The veteran Interrogator studied her seriously and noted it looked like he wasn't the only one who could not do their job properly anymore.  He turned and walked out of the office but he didn't think she even noticed, she was now looking out the window, lost in her memories.**

 

\----------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya transformed into a merchant and walked in with a group that was coming to deliver stock.  He had returned but he still was not sure it was the 'right' thing to do for his Koishii, he needed time to think... but he could go see his friend. 

 

Jiraiya transformed to a leaf nin, leapt up and walked the roofs.  Finally hopping up to perch on her window sill.  Tsunade jumped up and grabbed him, her grasp a bit too tight for comfort but he just stroked her back.  He had not dismissed the illusion merely replaced it and she was hugging Asuma's form but had known who it was the moment she saw him.

 

He murmured, "No more tears.  I'm here."  When her grasp lightened then released he stroked a tear away. "Come talk with me."

 

Tsunade drew a ragged breath and nodded, "Shizune will worry... I need to tell her I'm leaving."  Jiraiya watched as she looked out, "I need to go talk with a special visitor." 

 

This was further evidence that Tsunade had not been well, there was no disappearing and letting Shizune eventually find her.  She didn't wish Shizune to worry which meant she'd already caused her lover a great deal of worry.

 

Shizune gave a very relieved smile, "Tell Jir... the special visitor hello for me.  I suggest Shushuya's, at this time of day it's dead and they have private tables."

 

Tsunade turned back to Jiraiya and transformed into Shizune, "I know she won't be leaving soon."  He nodded and as they leapt down to street level resumed his 'traveling merchant appearance'.  They walked the streets quietly, once at the restaurant and secluded they both released their jutsu and sat looking quietly at each other for a moment.  He didn't know what to say, he wanted to ask about Ibiki but resisted.  He needn't have bothered since the words she said answered his question about how his Koishii was doing.

 

"I had to let Ibiki step down as ANBU Commander today." Although her tone was light, the intensity in her eyes showed she wasn't 'playing things up'... things really had gotten that serious.

 

Jiraiya sighed and shook his head, then sipped on his drink before asking quietly, "What am I supposed to do?  What can I do... Kakashi is the right person for him and I'm standing in the way of his happiness."

 

Her gaze was enigmatic, "Who's happiness?  Ibiki certainly is not happy."

 

"Kakashi... my presence threatens their relationship.  Kakashi and Ibiki, are meant for each other, [u]he[/u] can make Ibiki happy." Jiraiya poured another cup for them both.  "Why did Kakashi send his nin hound?  He can't want me here."

 

Tsunade drank before replying, "You have no idea what your leaving is doing to them both... before you make any decisions on what to do you need to see them.  Then you'll know in your heart what you have to do."

 

"I don't know if I can do that... I will wish to touch him and that will hurt Kakashi."  Jiraiya shook his head, it was not a good idea.

 

"Did leaving help?" She knew the answer it was a rhetorical question, still he replied somberly, "No."

 

She cryptically answered, "Just promise me you will go see them before you make a decision."

 

Jiraiya nodded, then tried to turn the conversation away from the two men.  "I hope I'm not keeping you from signing any important scroll or an important meeting." 

 

His attempt was unsuccessful as Tsunade replied, "No, all I really need to do today is select someone to fill the ANBU Commander job."

 

Jiraiya gave a wry smile, "Ok, point taken."

 

Jiraiya stayed drinking for a while, but Tsunade did not drink heavily.  The reminiscing of their Genin days was even more painful now, the likelihood of never seeing each other again brought a deeper pain to every word. 

 

When Jiraiya got up to leave, Tsunade also left. "I have to go home, Shizune is probably worried."

 

His leaving had really hurt her.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya got a room at the inn... not his usual one, he didn't want Ibiki to know he was here.  Tsunade was insistent he see them but he could do that without approaching them.  Although he was sure Kakashi would feel him near, the solitary nin was very gifted, he doubted he'd wish his lover to know.  He just hoped his presence did not make Kakashi uneasy.

 

Later that evening Jiraiya watched his Koishii as he walked home from work, he wanted so badly to be there beside him... to be close to him and...

 

This was wrong he should not be here.  Jiraiya studied him his heart hurting at the despondency in his posture, he looked tired... Were his dreams growing worse?  Jiraiya followed  and within sight of Ibiki's house hopped up to sit in a tree and dismissed his transformation jutsu.  Tsunade said he'd know what to do when he saw him but he was no closer to an answer as his beloved walked into his house and greeted his new partner.

 

Kakashi looked out the window right at him, but that wasn't what caused a spike of distress.  Kakashi looked as exhausted as Ibiki... and his skin was an ashen white... he looked sick!  Tsunade hadn't said he needed to go see 'him' she said 'them' and she was right, he did know what he had to do, he did not have a solution but it was clear his leaving had not been the answer.  Pakkun was telling the truth... Jiraiya jumped down from the tree and as he approached the door Kakashi opened it and he stood aside watching as Ibiki saw Jiraiya.

 

Ibiki looked down but it was in an attempt to hide his tears, "You came back." 

 

Jiraiya quickly closed the distance wrapping his arms around him and crooning, "No... don't cry.  Koishii please don't cry.  I never wanted to hurt you."  Jiraiya looked over at Kakashi.  "Either of you."  The odd thing was he wished he could gather the pale man to him and soothe him as well, the way he looked was worse than after he was recovering from being injured.  His eyes rested on Ibiki, behind his expressionless facade he looked... relieved?  No, that could not be it... but that's what it looked like. Jiraiya kissed his beloved's face, "I'm sorry." 

 

"Koishii..." Jiraiya watched to see if Kakashi was upset by his behavior or endearment, there was really no telling, he did not visibly react, not even a change in his breathing pattern, years of suppressing and hiding his emotions, often even from himself had made it second nature, his barrier against others and his suppression of his emotions instantaneous.

 

Jiraiya's attention returned to Ibiki, "You must not give up your position, the village needs you..." this got the first reaction he'd seen from the fair haired Shinobi.  His gaze intensified, a spike of alarm flashing in it before being hidden once more,  it was clear Kakashi hadn't known about Ibiki's decision to resign his position.

 

Jiraiya felt no less awkward than he had before, this was wrong to be here, but leaving had not been good for any of them.  He released Ibiki and stepped back.  "I'm going to stay... I have a room at the inn."

**He'd thought he was in Hell before Jiraiya left but the terrible pain he'd felt knowing he was gone forever redefined what 'Hell' was.  Ibiki wanted to touch him, he wanted to feel his beloved cradled in his arms so much it was hard to resist, but that hug... it was only that one hug he could have.  From the distance his Koishii was now keeping between them it was clear he had not changed his mind about not allowing him to touch him... he would have felt guilt for it anyway, this was not fair to his Saiai, being forced to share him.**

**"How long..."  Ibiki didn't say it, but the question hung in the air and Jiraiya answered it.**

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "Until I leave? I don't know."

 

He looked over at Kakashi but saw no discomfort in his body language at the thought he would not be leaving soon... but he did note the already slender nin's clothes fit a bit loose.  Jiraiya felt a wave of sympathy, "I think you both should eat something before we continue to talk, you should go make your evening meal  I can return tomorrow."  Ibiki's sorrow had been hard on his partner, it was important he put some weight back on.

 

_Kakashi watched the two men, from the moment he'd spotted Jiraiya outside to now, the looks the Sannin gave him... like he was worried about him as well as Ibiki.  But why would he care?_

_He knew from the look on both Jiraiya and Ibiki's face when he walked in... he'd done the right thing.  Ibiki needed Jiraiya, he'd been unable to keep his beloved happy_.

**Ibiki could not believe his Koishii was back, he just wanted to hold him and not let go, but nodded at the suggestion that he make some food. "Will you stay for evening meal?"**

**Jiraiya gave him a loving smile, "Yes."**

 

_Ibiki went into the kitchen, Kakashi looked over at Jiraiya although his face remained reserved, he sincerely said, "Thank you."_

_Jiraiya gave him a curious look and he elaborated, "For coming back."_

_Once again the Sannin was looking at him with concern, he nodded and replied. "I just don't want to... cause problems."_

_Kakashi regarded him dispassionately, his thoughts carefully guarded. "He needs you."_  

 

Jiraiya sighed, "I'm not sure how this can work but I need to stay in the village for now... "  It occurred to him that he didn't even know if Kakashi lived there now, it was likely he did.  "Did you mind me staying for evening meal?  I should have asked before agreeing, I could leave and we could talk tomorrow."

 

Kakashi shook his head, "Don't leave."  He was still expressionless, but Jiraiya felt the sincerity in his words, he wanted him to stay and talk.  He was a very good partner for Ibiki, willing to accept the presence of his partner's former lover to keep his loved one happy.  They would be good for each other, they just needed a bit more time and he was grateful for any further time he could be near his Koishii... no Ibiki was not really his... but he would always be his Koishii in his heart.  "Come let's sit in the kitchen and watch him cook." 

 

Kakashi neither agreed nor disagreed, but followed him into the kitchen.  He looked uncertain for a moment, it was clear he had not come in and watched Ibiki cook and was unfamiliar on where to stand so he could watch but not be in the way.  "You could sit here."  Jiraiya gestured at the stool, Kakashi looked from the stool back to him.  After a pause he nodded and came over to sit on the stool, Jiraiya stood beside it against the wall.

 

After a few minutes of watching Ibiki Kakashi looked fascinated, his once expressionless face relaxed.  Jiraiya gave a little smile, it was nice to see him relaxed, and he seemed very interested in Ibiki's actions as he cooked.   Ibiki may wish to teach him to cook... Jiraiya's smile disappeared.  Like he'd taught him...  What on earth was he doing here... Ibiki was not his any longer.

 

Kakashi looked over at him, Jiraiya 'calmed' himself, Ibiki's new lover was very perceptive, it was likely he picked up on his stress based on changes in his breathing pattern.  Yes, he was a good match for Ibiki... so what had went wrong?  Why did both men look like they'd been so unhappy? 

 

 Ibiki brought the meal to the table, Jiraiya seeped some tea and brought it over to pour for them... he did not wish to take a chair until he knew where Kakashi usually sat... the reclusive nin paused a moment before selecting a chair.  They had not eaten together?

 

Jiraiya poured Kakashi's tea, then Ibiki's and his own then returned the kettle to the stove before sitting.   across from both men.  It was immediately clear Kakashi was uncomfortable, if he and Ibiki had not been eating together... well he doubted the withdrawn Shinobi had anyone cook for him in many years, perhaps not since his childhood.

 

_Kakashi watched Ibiki and Jiraiya, they seemed so relaxed... like this was normal. Maybe it was normal, cooking, sitting with others as you ate... but the only time he'd eaten 'beside' others was when on a mission and this felt very strange.  He took a bite and nearly groaned, he'd had no idea Ibiki knew how to cook and was stunned how wonderful his lover's cooking was!  It did not take long to finish the small amount he'd taken.  Jiraiya's eyes fell to his empty plate, "You should eat a bit more, would you like me to get you some?"_  

 

Kakashi's stony gaze rested on him, perhaps he should not have asked, but then the quiet man nodded.  Jiraiya smiled and rose bringing another serving of the fish and rice dish and then refilling their cups before sitting once more.

 

_Jiraiya confused him... he cared about others, but why would he care about him?  He'd taken this man's lover, because of him the Sannin had left his home and life here... it made no sense for him to care_.

**Ibiki noted his current and former lover seemed... conflicted.  He didn't blame them this was a very odd situation and no one knew how to behave.**

 

**After the meal he rinsed and stacked the dishes, they could be washed later, it would give him something to do after his Saiai and Jiraiya left, something to focus on as he thought.  Kakashi still had the mission he'd assigned him to do and it was unlikely he'd be home until the morning.**

 

\------------------------------------

 

The three men moved to the living room, it remained quiet, no one knew what to say.  Surprisingly it was Kakashi that spoke, and even more baffling was what he said, "Stay here."

 

Jiraiya studied his face trying to read what the reclusive man was wishing to say... did he mean stay in the village?  He couldn't mean to stay in the house with him and his partner.  Ibiki was also studying Kakashi, he looked conflicted...  Ibiki thought he meant stay in the house.

 

_"Tonight stay here."  Kakashi did not know why he'd said it but now that he had he was certain it was the right thing, he had a mission... his lover would be alone.  Maybe if Jiraiya stayed he'd sleep tonight._

_Jiraiya gave a little smile, but shook his head.  "I don't think that would be a good idea."_

_Kakashi looked from the Sannin to his beloved, he was not concerned they'd have sex... if they did then it would have happened eventually anyway.  The important thing was now that Jiraiya returned his partner needed to rest, but he lacked the words to convey his thoughts and after a moment rose and walked to the door, then out_.

**Jiraiya looked alarmed and Ibiki quickly corrected his fear that Kakashi had chosen to leave rather than stay in the house with him.  "He has a mission."**

**Jiraiya nodded, relaxing once more.**

 

Looking at his Koishii, Jiraiya still had no idea what to say and the words that slipped out were not the ones that he should have spoken.  "I missed you more with every moment I was gone."

 

Ibiki's eyes darkened in sorrow, "The day you left was one of the worst days of my life."

 

Jiraiya wanted to touch him but if he did he knew he would not be able to resist holding him and kissing him... which would undoubtedly lead to things that he could not allow to happen... he wanted him in every way, including sexually... no touching would not be a good idea.  "I'm very sorry, I hurt you." 

 

Ibiki did not deny it. "I know."

**Jiraiya's eyes filled with concern, "Koishii, you do not look well... have you been sleeping ok?"**

**Ibiki shook his head and somberly replied, "From the way you look, I've been sleeping about as well as you have."**

 

Jiraiya saw the deep exhaustion on his beloved's face. "Koishii, please sleep.  I will come by here in the morning we can talk then... maybe I can walk with you to work."

 

The strong surge of longing in his cherished beloved's eyes at the offer made Jiraiya wish so strongly to hold him that it was an effort not to rise and go to him.

 

"Stay... let me see you in the morning... know you are near... please."  Ibiki softly begged.

 

"Oh Koishii..."  Jiraiya was going to tell him he could not, but looking in his former lover's exhausted eyes he only replied.  "I will stay." 

**Ibiki quietly nodded, he rose and walked into the bedroom, got a blanket and came back out to set on the couch.  "I should go sleep... thank you."  As he walked into his room the words he'd been trying not to say since the moment Kakashi opened the door and he saw him slipped out, "I love you Jiraiya."**

 

Ibiki had walked out of the room, but Jiraiya softly sighed, "I know, my precious Koishii."  He lay on the couch and tried to calm his thoughts, without success.  What was he doing here?  What could he possibly do but cause conflict?  And yet Tsunade, Ibiki, and Kakashi had suffered because of his leaving.  

 

Jiraiya was not sure if he could sleep, his emotions were no less chaotic than they had been before and knowing Ibiki was in the next room he wanted to be near, to hear him and know he was close.  He was a fool.

 

He rose and took his blanket walked into the bedroom and lay down on the floor on top of it.  Ibiki was awake, but did not speak and the two men lay quietly listening to the others breathing, until it lulled them to sleep.

 

Jiraiya woke with his heart pounding, he looked around for his Koishii and it took a few moments to remember everything.  He wasn't lost and his beloved was 'gone' because he didn't belong to him anymore.  Laying here on the bedroom floor as he'd done several times before it was like nothing had changed... but it had.  Tears flowed down his cheeks. 

 

"Jiraiya..."

 

He hadn't thought he'd woke his Koishii but he should have known he had.  He felt a surge of shame at the knowledge he'd woke him,  he shouldn't have stayed.

 

"I'm glad you stayed.  Just knowing you're near..."  Ibiki spoke quietly.  "It helps."

 

Jiraiya drew a deep breath, wiping his damp cheeks. "It helps me too."  Yes, it was better to wake knowing Ibiki was near even if his beloved was not truly his anymore.

 

Soon they both were asleep once more.

 

_Kakashi drifted in, it was early morning, the fact he did not wake his lover or their guest was proof how exhausted the two men had become.  He sat on his bed studying Jiraiya in the faint light of dawns approach.  He wasn't sure how they were going to 'solve' this situation but looking at the Sannin and his beloved he knew he'd been right to ask him to return._

_Kakashi's gaze slipped over to his partner's face, he looked more 'relaxed' than he'd been since Jiraiya had left_.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya's eyes opened and met Kakashi's gaze, studying his eyes he saw no hostility... of course with how well the reserved Shinobi hid all emotion it was unlikely he'd know even if he was.  Ibiki woke and both men looked over at him, neither moved until the man they loved began to rise.  Then Kakashi slipped off the bed and drifted out of the room, Jiraiya could hear faint noises from the kitchen.  He rose and folded the blanket.

 

Jiraiya felt a bit like he was intruding, did they sit and talk over breakfast, was he interrupting their morning routine?  Kakashi walked back through the room to the bathroom and he heard the shower start.  Did Ibiki usually go shower with him?  Did they usually have sex?  He really should not be here. 

**Ibiki watched his beloved's face, he made no effort to disguise his thoughts.  He was so very open, he showed every emotion.**

**Jiraiya met his eyes, "If you wish to go shower... or anything else with him I can go make breakfast, don't let me interrupt."**

**Ibiki shook his head, "We don't often shower together..." He felt a spike of embarrassment as he admitted.  "As for 'anything else', he's still... we haven't."**

**Jiraiya's gaze softened and he soothed, "Koishii, your relationship is your own there is no set things you must do, only what you wish to."**

**Ibiki felt awkward talking about his sex... or lack of it with Kakashi, to the other man he loved.  But his former partner would be the only one he could talk to that would understand.  "I can't.  I'll hurt him, I just can't do that."**  

 

Jiraiya nodded sympathetically, "I know you would be very upset by that.  Have you talked with him about it?"

 

Ibiki nodded, Jiraiya could see a growing distress in his Koishii's eyes as he replied quietly, "He says it's ok if it hurts."

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "No, it's not ok... I can see the problem."   Hurting Kakashi would be traumatic for his Koishii, and not very 'good' for Kakashi either.  Even if he believed he could accept it being painful, his body would remember the pain and it would clench down every time.  Sex would be painful from there on, unable to relax because the expectation of pain, there would be no pleasure.

 

Jiraiya and Ibiki walked out to the kitchen.  Jiraiya put the tea kettle on the stove to heat and they sat having coffee like they'd used to do what now seemed very long ago. 

 

**"He wants to... but I can't... I'm just not able to be what he needs, touching him is a frustration for us both..."**

 

Jiraiya sipped on his coffee; they had not had sex... Ibiki could not stroke him or take him in his mouth, Kakashi could do those things but lacked the knowledge of how and it would still leave the smaller man without relief. 

 

This could be why their relationship was struggling and the reason Ibiki felt such a strong attachment to him... he needed to encourage him to take the next step.  He knew his Koishii could do it, he was very gentle... but he still held so much 'damage' from his captivity. 

 

Kakashi walked out, although he'd redressed, his clothing remained uniform clothing even though he would not need to pull any duty that day.  Jiraiya suspected he had never bought anything 'casual'. 

 

_He felt uneasy as he walked out into the kitchen, his beloved looked so relaxed, so comfortable it was like he was intruding... Jiraiya loved him, they'd lived together... done this together every morning... they had a connection which he did not.  He and Ibiki did not often do more than kiss before going to the ANBU building... if one of them was not already there... their schedules often conflicted..._

_Was having Jiraiya here a good idea?  When Kakashi looked away from the Sannin to his lover, his heart filled with love.   Ibiki kissed him passionately, he felt his cock harden and gave a soft mew._  

 

Jiraiya looked away, Kakashi's words before about longing for every kiss or caress Ibiki had given to him was now reversed.  He ached for those touches, but they were not something he could ever have again.

 

_When he'd whimpered, Ibiki immediately broke the kiss stroking his cheek tenderly he said, "Saiai, I love you."_

_Kakashi smiled and brushed a light kiss over his lips and replied, "I love you."  As was usual, when he'd become aroused his beloved broke the kiss, but just the fact he had responded so passionately... his being relaxed was good_.

 

When Jiraiya was able to hide his longing, he looked back at the two men and smiled, "Do you have plans for the day Kakashi?"

 

_Kakashi felt a surge of alarm, he was not used to being around others... the thought of spending time with Jiraiya was disturbing_.

 

Jiraiya saw the almost reluctant shake of the man's head and reassured him that he was not planning on staying there after Ibiki left, nor was he expecting the reclusive nin to spend the day with him. "I think I will go see Tsunade... then maybe spend some time in the market... did you want me to get anything..."  Jiraiya faltered then smiled, but it was strained.  He was acting like he had the right to be there, he was not invited to evening meal and this was not his house. 

 

_Kakashi heard the soft whistle of the tea kettle, Ibiki and Jiraiya both had coffee...  he did not usually have anything, just started on his day.  His partner would not have put it on... did Jiraiya put on the water for him?  It was likely he had since Ibiki had looked over with surprise as the faint whistle came from the tea kettle_.

 

As Jiraiya rose, the younger man's reserved gaze rested on him.  "I guess I should be going. Thank you for the wonderful meal..." Jiraiya gaze slipped from Ibiki's to meet Kakashi's.  "And for allowing me to stay the night." 

 

He felt no hostility from the stoic nin... but then he felt nothing at all from him a good deal of the time he was around Kakashi.  Ibiki however looked sad at the reminder of all they'd had. 

 

Jiraiya walked towards the door, but before he walked out he heard Kakashi say. "Fish." 

 

Jiraiya paused, he looked back at him, the slender man's gaze remained emotionless.  "You wish me to get fish?"  Kakashi gave a brief nod then turned and walked over to pour some tea.  Jiraiya looked to Ibiki then nodded, he was not sure his spending too much time around them was a good idea.  "I will get Kari."  he softly stated, continued out the door and closed it quietly behind him.

 

Kari... the first time Ibiki had cooked for him it had been Kari.  This may not be a good reminder... but he'd already said he'd pick it up and it would be what his Koishii planned on cooking.  Kakashi constantly surprised him... but then since he rarely showed emotion, or spoke too much it was pretty easy to be surprised.

 

\------------------------

 

Tsunade smiled, "So how are Ibiki and Kakashi doing now?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, "You were right... they were not taking my absence well."

 

She gave him a smirk, but her eyes remained worried, "I'm always right, haven't you learned that by now?"

 

It was clear his friend knew things were far from fixed.  Jiraiya glanced out the window gathering his thoughts then met her eyes once more.  "Perhaps I should take a lover... a reassurance to Kakashi that I do not plan on taking Ibiki from him." 

 

He really did not wish to be having sex with anyone... well with his Koishii but that would not ever happen again.  Eventually he'd visit a whore, it was very unlikely he'd remain celibate for the rest of his life, but that was still far in the future he was not even close to that desperate.

 

Tsunade shook her head, "Jiraiya, you know you can't take a lover.  You put your heart into every relationship and your heart already belongs to Ibiki... you'd be full of guilt for using a person like that.  That would be like me taking another lover when I'm deeply in love with Shizune."

 

Jiraiya smirked, "Is that an offer?" 

 

Tsunade snorted, "Not likely."  They were both aware that any sexual contact between them would not be 'entertaining' for either of them even before they'd fell in love with others.  There had never really been any attraction between them, they'd grown up like siblings, squabbling and supporting each other through all the heartbreaks in their lives.

 

"So what am I supposed to do?"  It was a rhetorical question and Jiraiya hadn't expected an answer but his friend just quietly replied, "Wait.  In time it will come to you."

 

Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow and taunted her. "Are you an oracle?"

 

He laughed as she replied, "Yes... ok, no but I have a strong feeling you will find a solution."

 

No, it was doubtful he would but all he could do was wait just as she'd said.  "Hmmm... yes, well I suppose you should use those powers to get some work done."

 

Tsunade gave a feigned pout and then agreed, "Shizune would be appalled if I haven't done a single scroll."  She smirked. "Tempting, but no... Will I see you later?"

 

"Not tonight... I need to go get some ingredients for the evening meal... they invited me." Once more he was struck by how very odd this whole situation was, but then if anyone was going to be in a bizarre situation it was him, it was the story of his life... that and heartbreak.

 

Tsunade gave him a speculative look, "Ok.  See you tomorrow some time?"  Jiraiya nodded and rose, he could see his friend was deep in thought as he left.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya was _sure_ he shouldn't do it and yet he still waited outside the ANBU building at the time his Koishii usually left.  This was wrong and Kakashi was going to feel threatened... he was going to mess up their relationship.

 

**When Ibiki walked out the door and saw Jiraiya he nearly smiled his heart was full of joy... and guilt.  He wanted this so very much but it was not fair to either of the men he loved... it felt like he was using them.**

**Even through the guilt, he could not deny how greatly he wanted this!  Jiraiya's eyes held guilt as well, but they also held deep love that made everything around him a bit brighter.**

 

When Jiraiya saw his Koishii walk out his heart drummed, this was so wonderful... just this small taste of all he desired for so long.  Ibiki's eyes full of love and happiness at the sight of him... it was so wrong to do this but he couldn't resist, he wanted every bit of time with his beloved that he could get.

 

They walked quietly together, neither spoke but they both had not been so happy in far too long.  As they approached the house that happiness faded and the guilt grew, by the time they entered both men were somber.

 

_Kakashi waited just inside the door as both men entered they looked withdrawn and lost in thought.  Ibiki's gaze filled with love as he saw him and he enclosed him in a gentle hug, kissing him tenderly. Kakashi shivered and pressed into their kiss.  He could feel his lover's cock, pressed hard against him, and clung to him deepening the kiss._

 

Jiraiya looked away, "I'll bring the fish to the kitchen."  He wanted those kisses, wanted the feel of his Koishii pressed against him.  But more importantly, he had very good reason to wish to not be in the room... the sight of their kissing had aroused him.   He was sure that would make Kakashi very uncomfortable, evidence that he desired Ibiki.  Yes, he knew he did, but knowing it was different than seeing someone flushed hard as they stared at your lover. 

 

Jiraiya attempted to calm himself, Ibiki would walk in soon, very likely Kakashi would be at his side... the problem was his body was rebelliously refusing to calm, his needs having not been met since the day Ibiki brought his injured lover home... he would definitely have to go back to his room at the inn tonight.

 

Tsunade was right about not being able to take a lover.  And he did not wish a whore even if there had been some in the Leaf Village, there was not, and that left masturbation.  That brought release but little else, the pleasure of a partner was not a need he could have met.  He wanted his Koishii's touch so very much, wanted to feel his body pressed to his... but he wouldn't give in. 

 

_Kakashi broke the kiss, he was teasing Ibiki... his partner would not do it, he would not fuck him.  He didn't care if it hurt he wanted the satisfaction of having brought his beloved the pleasure.  Still, he would not push, Ibiki just could not do it.  He wished Jiraiya had fucked him when he'd asked, then his lover would not be hesitant to fuck him._

 

**Ibiki looked towards the kitchen it was strange Jiraiya had not come right back out... he'd hurt him by greeting his Saiai so enthusiastically.  He walked into the kitchen, Jiraiya had set down the fish, but only stood beside where it lay on the counter.  Ibiki's eyes slipped down to his former lover's arousal, then away... even the sight of his Koishii's erection straining against the front of his pants brought no discomfort and was a further tease of all he wished to do.  Ibiki looked away, he wasn't sure what to say and just remained quiet, he knew he should walk out and leave Jiraiya to calm himself but...**

 

_Kakashi walked into the kitchen, his eyes slipped down to his lover's erection before shifting to Jiraiya's arousal.  They desired each other..._

_Jiraiya excused himself, "I just need a few moments ."  He walked past them into the living room._

_Kakashi's fingers slid over his lover's erection and he heard the soft pained groan he gave, "Please Saiai... don't.  I can't hurt you."_

_He drew his hand back, he had stopped telling Ibiki it didn't matter if it hurt him, after the first time he'd said it.  When he'd seen the horror in his beloved's eyes... no, he could not say it but it was true._

 

Jiraiya shook his head, he was very ashamed he'd just stood there looking at his Koishii like a man seeing a glass of water in the desert... now Kakashi would feel threatened, it was very likely he was not comfortable with him being around.  Jiraiya debated whether he should just leave, but he couldn't do something so rude, he would tell them he would go when they came out of the kitchen.

 

_Kakashi walked out of the kitchen while Ibiki calmed himself and started cleaning the fish, his lover would not be able to calm himself if he remained... and he wouldn't either.  Jiraiya looked very uncomfortable... he expected him to be angry?  He was not surprised his beloved and his former partner were aroused by each other, a bit uncomfortable but not surprised._

 

Jiraiya met Kakashi's eyes, "I should go... I'm sorry." 

 

Kakashi continued looking at him with an inscrutable expression.  Jiraiya's body was calming, he studied his fine boned face, the soft lips... he really was very striking.  Then his gaze slipped down and rested on a much less appropriate place that made calming himself fail miserably... the riveting man's erection.  Yes he definitely needed to go.

 

_Kakashi watched Jiraiya, he wasn't sure how he felt at this moment.  When the experienced man's gaze had slipped down to rest on his arousal, the Sannin had hardened once more.  It gave him an odd feeling to see he excited Jiraiya.  The one thing he did know was that he did not wish him to leave, he did not want to dwell on why.  "Stay."  Kakashi remained quietly studying him a moment longer then added, "Ibiki's cooking."  He started back into the kitchen but stopped and looked back, unable to express his desire to have him come in and watch with him he just continued into the kitchen._

 

Jiraiya saw Kakashi pause and look back, he was expecting him to follow... wanting him to come watch Ibiki cook.  In a slightly odd role reversal this time it was Jiraiya who found himself quietly following into the kitchen to watch his Koishii cook.  As they watched Ibiki, he occasionally glanced at Kakashi.  The alert man would immediately look back at him, no doubt catching the movement of him turning to look at him and for a few moments the two men would just look at each other before their gazes slipped back to Ibiki. 

 

Jiraiya wondered what Kakashi was thinking, reading anything from him was extremely hard and as he intermittently studied him he looked for clues that would give insight on at least how the withdrawn nin felt.

 

_Kakashi saw Jiraiya's curious looks, he confused the Sannin... most people were confused by him.  That was not an unusual or unwelcome reaction, it kept them from wishing to stay near and limited how much they talked, both beneficial results.  As the large man studied him Kakashi thought on the odd way it had made him feel when he'd saw Jiraiya flush hard once more at the sight of his erection._

_He'd asked Jiraiya to fuck him, he'd refused...  but he aroused him?   Why would he refuse if he desired him?  He hadn't actually said he would not until after he'd said to just push into him and fuck him... he did not wish to hurt him... it was very odd.  There was no reason for him to care if he hurt him, it made no sense._

_Still, even if the skilled lover was willing, he could not do it, he was now aware it would be distressing to his beloved.  The look on his face when he'd told him he'd 'touched' Jiraiya made it very clear he would not wish the Sannin to have sex with him._

 

**Ibiki had been surprised when both men came in and watched him just like they had the night before, this whole situation was so baffling... not knowing what to say or do, not understanding what the two men were thinking... Jiraiya looked puzzled and a bit distressed.  Kakashi... well he didn't actually express anything but the impression he got was not a negative one... just contemplative.**

**Ibiki wanted to kiss his Saiai... and his Koishii, but that was not something he could do and to kiss his Saiai was to risk becoming aroused again.  Seeing Jiraiya so near, his body excited... feeling his new partner molded against him eagerly responding to his hunger... his body was in a state of nearly constant, thankfully minor, arousal at every moment.**

**It had been so long since he'd felt the welcome of Jiraiya's body, but it wasn't something he could have now, and with every touch and mew of Kakashi he desired to feel his seductive Saiai beneath him... also a thing he could not have and yet he wouldn't give up a minute of this, nothing could be worse than to lose either of them.**

 

Kakashi studied his lover's body, he wanted to see him like he had that first night, to feel his body cupping his and the caress of his hands... to see his cock flushed hard for him.  Kakashi knew his cheeks had heated slightly and clamped down tighter on his emotions, he just desired his beloved's touch so very much.

 

Jiraiya could see the occasional glimmer of desire in Kakashi's eyes before it was hidden each time.   Kakashi wanted more, so did Ibiki... he needed to find a way to help them past this, it was keeping them from building a stronger relationship.  That was what he needed to concentrate on, this wasn't about his own frustrated desires, it was important to help them past this so they could be happy... and so his Koishii would not want him anymore.  The thought hurt, but it was the truth.  This was the only reason Ibiki still needed him, once he could help him overcome this obstacle they would be happy.

 

He really did not feel like eating anymore, his heart sick at the knowledge this was temporary, he would soon face the despair of leaving once more.

 

**Ibiki turned, he had been concentrating on the two men he loved and he heard the subtle change in breathing.  It did not surprise him to see it was Jiraiya, his eyes full of sorrow but he gave a wan smile and commented lightly.  "The food smells wonderful, I can't wait."**

 

_Kakashi had looked up at Jiraiya when his breathing had roughened, he was bewildered.  It was immediately clear he was sad and he wondered what had disturbed him,  it could be so many things both in the present and the past, a nin's life was full of pain.  He found it disturbing to see Jiraiya upset, but was unable to do anything even if he wished to.  He had no idea what you did to sooth someone, with his beloved it just happened, he reacted... but others, having to think about how to interact with them left him uneasy._

Jiraiya could see he was disturbing his Koishii, and although he saw no evidence of it he had the impression Kakashi was distressed as well.  Jiraiya gave them both a gentle smile and soothed, "I'm ok, just a bad thought... so is the food ready to be brought to the table?"

 

**Ibiki nodded, even when his Koishii smiled the sorrow did not leave his eyes.  Jiraiya walked over and busied himself making some tea.  Ibiki looked over at his Saiai, he could see he was disturbed by Jiraiya's deep sorrow.  Ibiki caressed his face and brushed a soft kiss over his lips, he could not say everything would be ok... he didn't know what would come in the future any more than his lovers could.  "I love you Saiai."**

 

_Kakashi's heart lightened and he returned the kiss, "I love you Ibiki."  Jiraiya was a... good person, this was very uncomfortable, not knowing what to do._

_They sat and once more Jiraiya brought the tea over and served them, Kakashi found himself watching Jiraiya's fingers, remembering the gentle touch he'd given when asked... the acceptance of it and the understanding in his eyes when he'd asked why Ibiki could bear his touch... He looked up into Jiraiya's eyes for a moment before turning his attention to his meal, the compassionate man left him very confused, he felt such a myriad of emotions when he looked at him, most of which he could not identify._

 

Jiraiya finished serving and sat, but his thoughts dwelled on the emotions in Kakashi's eyes at that moment the 'mask' had been down.  He could see how 'lost' he was, struggling to interact without any idea how to, or even the ability to understand his own emotions.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

**END CHAPTER 11**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 11: ASKING TOO MUCH (ALL THAT REMAINS)


	12. TRYING NOT TO LOVE YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 12)

TRYING NOT TO LOVE YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 12)

 

\----------------------------------

 

Jiraiya ate with them throughout the rest of the week, many more times he saw Kakashi's shields drop, his bewilderment at things he said or did clear in his eyes.  The one thing that did not change was the frustration he saw in the two men at being limited and unable to satisfy their sexual urges. 

 

Jiraiya had not walked with his Koishii from the ANBU building to his home since that one time.  Now he 'justified it' as a chance to talk to his beloved about taking the next step, he needed to have sex with his lover.

                                                                        

Ibiki walked out and Jiraiya saw the surge of joy in his Koishii's eyes at the once familiar routine.  It both sent a strong longing and happiness through him, he wanted this... but no, this had to be so he could talk with Ibiki about his lover that was all.

 

**As they walked Ibiki felt a wave of contentment, this felt so wonderful, having his Koishii at his side like he'd once been.**

**"Ibiki, this can't stay like this." Jiraiya stated seriously.**

**Ibiki's heart skipped a beat and a chill swept through him, "Jiraiya... please..."**

**Jiraiya smiled tenderly and reassured, "No Koishii, I'm not leaving.  I meant the situation with you and Kakashi, you need to get past your fear and have sex with him."**

**Ibiki was quiet and they walked for several minutes before he replied, "You could be his first, you know how to help him enjoy it."  No, he didn't really wish for the two men he loved to have sex, but he knew Jiraiya was right, this couldn't stay like this.**

**Jiraiya shook his head, "No Koishii, I won't... you can do this.  He loves you, this should be intimate and between you two."**

**Ibiki shook his head firmly, "I don't think I can do it.  I really don't think I could handle it if I hurt him."**

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, inside he knew Ibiki was right, hurting Kakashi would be a horrifying reminder of the abuse he'd suffered.  "I will stay, you will not hurt him."  Jiraiya couldn't believe he just said that!  It hurt to see them kissing and he was going to watch them have sex... it was a nightmare! 

 

The look of longing on Ibiki's face after that soft stroke, was a clear indicator he needed to stand a bit further away, it was unconscious that if near he'd reach out to him.  For a moment Jiraiya just continued looking at his beloved, it hurt to see him and be unable to touch him, he craved just the brush of his Koishii's fingers, and it looked like Ibiki felt just as much need for his touch... and he was going to stay by the man he loved's side while he had sex with his replacement.  He truly was a fool.

 

**Ibiki had been stunned by the offer, but distracted by the glorious caress of his Koishii's fingers on his check it took a moment for the full scope of what Jiraiya was offering to sink in.  "No.  I can't.  Jiraiya I can't do that, I can't have you sit there hurting for me, knowing you desire my touch but unable to touch you."**

"I will do this for you both." Jiraiya corrected.  He knew as greatly as this would hurt, it was what had to be done, his Koishii and Kakashi's relationship was struggling because of this.  "This is a very large strain on your relationship, if I can help you past this, then I wish to."

 

**Ibiki looked away, but he knew the pain he was trying to hide was very clear in his tone.  "I can't. Jiraiya, I cannot hurt you like that."**

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek then drew his hand back quickly, he needed to remember he could not touch him.  "I want to do this, please Koishii, let me help you.  I don't want to see you both continue frustrated and hurt by this."

 

**Ibiki couldn't reply, Jiraiya was right, but to do this would be a terrible act of cruelty to the sensitive, kind man he loved.  He could not agree to it.**

 

\------------------------------------------

 

**The meal went how it usually did now, the two men watching him cook and them quietly eating together.  When it came the time Jiraiya usually left, they walked him to the door and Kakashi leaned into Ibiki's side as he often did on nights where his lover's body had stirred his interest.  Ibiki smiled and nuzzled his throat, the light gesture of affection drew a soft whimper and Ibiki immediately flushed hard.  Kakashi drew a deep breath and stepped back trying to calm himself and not tease him.**

**Jiraiya met Ibiki's eyes, he truly wished he could say no, but Jiraiya was right, they couldn't continue like this.  And if Jiraiya was there, the experienced lover would keep him from hurting him.  Jiraiya's hand left the door handle.**

**Ibiki nodded to Jiraiya.  Once again he was going to do something horribly cruel to him, then looked over at Kakashi.  "Saiai... I..."**

**Jiraiya gave him a reassuring little smile and looked at Kakashi, "If it is ok I would like to stay and help guide you and Ibiki... help you and he get past this so you can have sex.  This frustration is not good for you or him, it's putting a strain on your relationship.  Will you allow me to be there?"**

 

_Ibiki's sexual frustration had grown so strong and it was very difficult to step away from him each time  and know he needed him but would not fuck him.  This was very... strange.  For a moment he doubted he could do it, he'd only been exposed around Ibiki, then his eyes fell to his partner's erection straining at the front of his pants.  This continual tease of his lover was wrong, he wanted to give him pleasure.  Kakashi studied Jiraiya a moment, then hesitantly nodded._

As _Ibiki lead him into the bedroom, Jiraiya smiled reassuringly at them. "You two should go take a shower together."_

 

Ibiki nodded and they walked into the bathroom.  Jiraiya sighed, now that his Koishii was not in the room he could curse himself as a fool... to agree to this.  No not agree, encourage... this was insane.

 

He tried to just accept it; he'd suggested the shower because it would relax them.  They would not feel their foreplay was being watched and touching and seeing each other would arouse them a great deal. 

 

**Ibiki and Kakashi stripped, he could see without even needing to look down that his Saiai was very aroused.  He cupped him from behind nuzzling and kissing his throat stroking over his chest and stomach, then over his hips to caress his beloved's tempting ass.  His partner writhed against him mewing and trembling in excitement.  "Saiai you are so gorgeous..."  They quickly grew very aroused,  as he dried him, Kakashi took the towel and dried his groin before giving back the towel.  Then cried out in pleasure as Ibiki kneaded his ass cheeks gently before finishing drying him.**

 

_The two men walked out and Ibiki drew him into a kiss again stroking him passionately.  Not having to stop, knowing it was finally going to happen was very exciting, and frightening.  It wasn't the pain... not really, he could accept strong pain, it was not knowing what would happen.  It felt out of control, a extremely disturbing sensation._

 

**Ibiki was starting to become very nervous as he lay Kakashi down on the bed.  Jiraiya had slipped over and was seated on the bed, "Caress him, enjoy the feel of him beneath your hands."  Jiraiya's low croon was very reassuring, Ibiki stroked over his beloved's amazing body hearing his gasps of pleasure.**

**"Kakashi draw your legs up to bent so you can continue to feel that wonderful sensation of your beloved's touch on your body."**

_Kakashi was growing so aroused he barely noticed Jiraiya, his soft purr was not intrusive it almost felt like it was supposed to be a part of the experience.  Ibiki's light strokes made his body ache for more, and as it traced over his inner thighs he moaned and gave a pleading cry, but what he was pleading for he was not certain.  This would be painful, but he wanted to feel his Koishii on him and hear his cries of pleasure._

**Ibiki could feel the excited shivers his beloved was giving, he wanted this but... he'd hurt him.  His eyes lifted to meet Jiraiya's, his Koishii's gaze was soothing and Ibiki slowly brushed over the tender entrance to his lover's body causing him to gasp loudly and shiver at the pleasure.**

 

Jiraiya opened the drawer and hid his sadness at the sight of the vibrator, it had been terrible when his Koishii had offered it to him... but this was not the time to think about that.  As he'd guessed the Adult shop had included several lubes, he drew one out and held it in his hand a moment warming the fluid before opening it. "This will make the feel of your lover's touch feel even better..."  He kept his eyes mainly on Kakashi, this next step was a big one and he wanted to ease any fear so he wouldn't tense.  Ibiki dampened his finger and returned to stroking around the entrance without pressure. 

 

Jiraiya looked down at where Ibiki was stroking around the tight entrance, his partner would need more lubrication, it had to be very slick so all he would feel was the slick stroke teasing his body.  "Put more of the wonderful liquid on him and feel the slick glide of your finger over the entrance to your lover's body."

 

Jiraiya's gaze returned to the panting and whimpering man, "Feels so good... so incredible.  Do you want more?"

 

"Yes!"  Kakashi gasped.

 

Ibiki slowly pressed.  He was going too fast for someone inexperienced, his lover needed a lot more coaxing.  "Just a little... now glide your finger around the outside a bit, softly press at the center..." Jiraiya instructed Ibiki, then cooed to Kakashi. "The temptation of that pleasure on the outside of your body... you want that inside too...  your body is unfamiliar with the pleasure it will grasp around his finger but it's ok..." 

 

Ibiki pushed in, it was too soon and  Jiraiya felt Kakashi jump, unfortunately Ibiki did as well.  "That discomfort will go away just relax... relax... that exquisite sensation that you felt on the outside you will feel on the inside."  Jiraiya could see Kakashi's muscles were tense now. "You are so incredible, so extraordinary..." 

 

Kakashi looked up at him surprised by his praise, his mind distracted from the pain and his body loosened.  Normally Jiraiya would have instructed Ibiki to slip his finger out and stroke around the outside again but he could not take the chance he'd push in too quickly again, his lover's body had accepted the feel and they would just take a bit longer at this step.  Jiraiya saw Ibiki had not calmed, his body was tense and there was anxiety in his eyes... not good.  "Slowly push further in, feel his body very slowly give to your touch, drawback, again slowly forward."  This was not going well, Kakashi had noticed his partner's anxiety and was growing nervous. 

 

"This slow slide over the sensitive area, the slick finger teasing you will slowly bring you more of the wonderful pleasure you felt before..."  Jiraiya lay on his side beside Kakashi, his words trying to amplify  his desire but also soothing.  Kakashi needed to be relaxed, if he tensed at the unfamiliar feel it would hurt, and  Jiraiya wasn't sure Ibiki could handle that, he still had not calmed after mistakenly causing his lover the spike of pain. 

 

"So beautiful... so amazing..."  Jiraiya crooned, behind the calm front Kakashi was trying to display, Jiraiya could see anxiety, some anxiety was normal, and this was a big step for the man who couldn't accept being touched only months ago.  "Relax... this is the man you love, you want him in you... you want the pleasure he will give you... you feel the gentle stroke of his finger?  The pleasure... relax and want it in you."

 

 Jiraiya looked up and he was torn between reassuring Kakashi and comforting Ibiki, he now looked terrified... this wasn't going to work, the two men were feeding each other's fear.  They were too fragile to take this step... if he could relieve a bit of Kakashi's fear it would be easier to soothe his Koishii.

 

He really did not wish to do this... but if he could just think of it like he had all the others he'd helped experience sex the first time... not his beloved's new lover but someone who wished for him to... no, he really did not want to do this, but he would. 

 

Jiraiya hid his reluctance, "I can teach you... if you wish."

 

Ibiki looked relieved as he quickly slipped his finger out, then distressed as this caused Kakashi to flinch again, but nodded. "If he wishes... _you_ will not hurt him."

 

Kakashi reached up and stroked Ibiki's face his gaze concerned, it was clear he felt guilt that he was distressing him and Ibiki was undeniably distressed now, his body shaking.  Kakashi nodded.  Jiraiya tried to bury his emotions, "Ibiki, kiss him... just relax and kiss him, stroke and enjoy the feel of him beneath your hands. 

 

Ibiki nodded but it was clear even through his distress that he knew how badly this was hurting Jiraiya. Ibiki lay on his back, Kakashi slipped up over him and he cradled his slender lover to him caressing his body and kissing him tenderly.  Jiraiya withheld the soft sad sigh he wished to make, his voice comforting and gentle. "Can I touch you Kakashi?"

 

The mismatched eyes lifted to meet his and he mutely nodded.  Jiraiya stroked lightly over his forearm, soft feathers of his fingers that soothed and as Kakashi relaxed and returned to passionately kissing Ibiki, Jiraiya's tender strokes moved slowly up to his shoulder then gradually down his back, his touch lightening to a bare whisper of a brush over the sensitive skin of his firm ass.  Kakashi paused but then tried to press into the tempting caress, Jiraiya slowly allowed more contact, his fingers brushing  along the part of his cheeks drew a soft mew into his kiss. 

 

The touch continued teasing, always making Kakashi wish for the next caress, wanting the firmer touch, his body quickly growing excited by the stimulation.  The first light stroke of Jiraiya's finger over the younger man's taut entrance brought a strong response, Kakashi whimpered pressing into the stroke wanting the enticing touch firmer over the sensitive area.  Jiraiya was a bit surprised how responsive Kakashi was but he'd had others who'd eagerly accepted his touch. 

 

He took the lube, dampening a finger and stroking over the area without pressure, at first Kakashi  tensed but soon he was pushing back into the pleasure.  Jiraiya pressed gently, then went back to circling until he was firmly pushing back into the tease.  Jiraiya pressed again, feeling the muscles start to give to him but only went back to circling once more.  When he brushed over the center, Kakashi whined into his kiss and trembled in desire.  Slowly Jiraiya pushed through the relaxed muscles.

 

Jiraiya knew he had not hurt him, the memory of Ibiki's finger inside made the slip of his finger into the tight passage a bit less unfamiliar, but at the memory of pain Kakashi's his muscles grasped his finger tightly. 

 

Jiraiya stroked over the soft round globes with his other hand as he waited for Kakashi's body to accept the feel.  When the muscles loosened to allow movement he slipped a bit deeper then drew back to just inside, the next slip forward and slide back made Kakashi shiver and moan wantonly.  Jiraiya stroked a bit deeper with each stroke until his finger was steadily fucking the slender man.  When Jiraiya's finger slipped out, Kakashi gave an unconscious disappointed whine.

 

The feel of two of Jiraiya's fingers circling and teasing the sensitive entrance to his body quickly tempted him into pressing into the light caress.  As his two fingers slipped in Kakashi paused uncertainly, his muscles once more gasping his fingers hard and once more Jiraiya stroked over his ass softly until the muscles eased their hold, slowly he worked up to thrusting into the other man.  When his fingers slipped out and three circled the entrance Kakashi's body accepted them much faster not associating them with pain and wanting the feel of them moving within him. 

 

By the time Kakashi's body was loose Jiraiya knew his need had grown very strong, this would help ease his anxiety, but he'd need to be cautious about him trying to go too fast. 

 

Jiraiya stripped and lay on his back, he'd prepared him as well as possible, now he stroked a heavy coating of lube over his cock. 

 

Kakashi rose off Ibiki and nervously slipped up on top of him.  Jiraiya didn't touch him although he wished to stroke his cheek to soothe him, he attempted reassure him with his voice.  "You can say stop at any time, no one is expecting anything from you... I won't touch you..."

 

_Kakashi studied his eyes seriously then amended, "You can touch me."_

_Jiraiya's fingers feathered softly over his cheek and he unconsciously pressed into the tender caress,  he gently massaged Kakashi's upper back and arms.  "You are going to press down to take my erection into you."  Jiraiya cupped his face his gaze filled with understanding and a touch of concern, "Slowly, there should be no pain, press and if you feel pain shift up and away, when you feel ready you can try again, or stop... remember at any time you can say stop and I will.  I want you to tell me to stop if you are uncertain in anyway, or decide this is not something you feel ready to do yet."_

 

Kakashi nodded, his eyes less uncertain now, he pressed down firmly on Jiraiya's cock.  Alarmed, Jiraiya immediately cupped his hips stilling him, "Slowly, there doesn't need to be pain."  Jiraiya's hands fell away he was unsure if grabbing his hips had distressed him, but he couldn't let him do that, he could not force his virgin body down on his engorged length.

 

_Kakashi saw the tender affection in Jiraiya's eyes the soft caress of his fingers felt nice, a reminder of the feel of the gentle stroke of his hand down his body before touching him sexually.  The sudden grasp of his hips surprised him but not as greatly as the sensation of pain as he tried to force his body down on Jiraiya's erection.  He wasn't sure he wanted this, the pain there had been very alarming and he hadn't even really gotten any of Jiraiya's cock in._

 

**Ibiki watched his two lovers so many conflicting emotions surging and nearly overwhelming him... fear, jealousy, love, arousal... he was so confused.**

 

_Kakashi remembered Jiraiya's words, 'People should not hurt people they care about... I will never hurt you.'  Did that mean he was someone he cared about?  He wasn't exactly sure what that meant, he knew the powerful feeling of love he had for his beloved.  What was caring?  If this was Jiraiya's 'caring', it was gentle..._

 

Kakashi looked uncertain once more, that had to have hurt.  Jiraiya was surprised when Kakashi took his hand and brought it up to stroke his cheek.  That gesture said so much, he was trusting him.

 

_Jiraiya would not hurt him, the stroke of his fingers over his cheek soothed, his touch brought pleasure not pain.  His voice reassuring and accepting... accepting, like when he touched him, he had not wanted anything, just accepted his touch._

 

Jiraiya softly caressed his cheek and crooned, "No one is expecting anything, you are in control, you can stop at anytime."

 

Kakashi nodded then lay on him for a minute before pressing down slightly, his body starting to give to the press. He slipped back up away from the hard flesh then pressed again, this time he slipped a bit further.

 

"You are doing so good."  Jiraiya softly crooned.  Kakashi moved up away from it and then pressed again, Jiraiya knew the next time his cock would enter him.  "Remember the way your body contracted when I slipped my fingers into you?  Your body will do that when I enter you, don't be afraid,  it will hurt a bit because you are not used to it but it should not hurt a lot and the pain will pass.  Kakashi nodded.

 

It was at times like this Jiraiya wished he wasn't extremely 'endowed'.  He massaged Kakashi's lower back as he pressed down again and the head of Jiraiya's cock slipped through the ring of muscles.  Jiraiya felt him flinch and crooned, "Just relax", Kakashi's body slowly stopped clenching down and accepted the wide head,  "The pain is going now... right?"  Kakashi nodded.  Jiraiya continued gently massaging his lower back.

 

After a few moments Jiraiya felt his body loosen around him and gave a slight rock, Kakashi's eyes widened, but it was in surprise not pain.  It brought the first words of pleasure from the quiet man, "It felt good." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, "It should.  You do not need to take all of me into your body,  rock your hips very slowly."  Jiraiya cupped his hips guiding him into a rocking motion.  As he started slowly rocking on the rigid length he took more of Jiraiya into him.  Jiraiya watched his face trying to ignore the exquisite feel of the man's tight body slipping slowly on his cock, stroking the first half of his erection.

 

It was the first sexual stimulation he'd had since the day Ibiki brought Kakashi into his home, but he had years of experience resisting his desires.  Kakashi gave a breathless muted cry of pleasure, his eyes were dark with passion and he trembled.  "I want all of you."

 

 Jiraiya studied his face and nodded, "Slowly."  He would not allow him to hurt himself by trying to go too fast.

 

Jiraiya's heart flopped and he felt such tenderness for the younger man as Kakashi lay his face lay on his chest and  he wrapped his arms around  him gently hugging him as he pressed slowly down on him.   After a few minutes he looked up a bit apprehensively, Jiraiya knew he was feeling uncertain.  "Stop where you are comfortable.  You do not need to take all of me into you, only do the things you wish.  It is your body, you are in control."  

 

Kakashi rocked his hips like Jiraiya had shown him and gave a soft moan as he slipped along the swollen flesh easier, his body was becoming familiar with the pleasure of the motion and was loosening to allow more. 

 

_Kakashi wanted to feel what it felt like to have his lover completely in him, he had to know... he wanted to give Ibiki pleasure._

 

Kakashi was panting and moaning  as he rocked his hips a bit faster, then surprised Jiraiya by slipping down further, continuing to rock his hips and giving little mews of need.  Kakashi looked in his eyes, "Please." 

 

Jiraiya stroked his face then nodded, he stilled his hips.  "Don't move, let me."  Jiraiya watched his face for pain as he slowly sank in to the base.  Kakashi was panting, he gave a nervous little shiver.  Jiraiya cupped his cheek, "Are you ok?" 

 

_Kakashi nodded.  It was a bit alarming feeling the hard length sinking into him... not painful, just unfamiliar, like nothing he'd ever felt before.  Jiraiya expression was so... caring?  He looked concerned, wanted to be sure he was not hurting or afraid._

"Do you wish to stop?"  Kakashi shook his head.  Jiraiya massaged his lower back a few moments before slowly starting rock his hips, Kakashi moaned.  Jiraiya felt a thrill at the sound and as he rocked faster Kakashi's cries of pleasure grew rapidly.

 

Although this felt very good, it needed to end.  Kakashi was going to be quite sore enough and he did not wish him to be in pain, only a bit sore.  Jiraiya nuzzled his ear intending on murmuring to him, what he was going to murmur was lost as he felt his lover's response to his lips against his ear. Kakashi cried out loudly, now trembling in passion, his body tightening.

 

Jiraiya stilled the rocking of his hips as his tongue traced around the shell of Kakashi's ear and he slowly slipped his lover's body up his cock.  The motion bringing his ear more into contact with his mouth and  Kakashi was writhing and crying out.  Then gave a loud cry and came as Jiraiya flicked his tongue into the narrow canal and quickly shifted the head of his erection out.  He continued to tease his ear thrusting gently into the highly sensitive passage and feeling Kakashi's cock buck against him again as he was brought to a second orgasm.

 

Jiraiya cradled him tenderly as he trembled with the last surges of pleasure, he knew not to murmur in his ear, it would not be good to tease him right now.  He'd had other lovers that could be brought to orgasm by teasing their ears, it wasn't as uncommon as most would think, a very sensitive area that was over looked by most.

 

**Ibiki thought on what he'd watched, how gentle and affectionate Jiraiya had been... so very careful... the memory of the rapture on Kakashi's face... it left him extremely conflicted, he wanted... he didn't know what he wanted any more.  He was now very aroused... and he knew Jiraiya was as well, but he could not touch him.**

_Kakashi was amazed, the intense pleasure... it was incredible!  His body trembled at the power of those sensations, for a moment he rested then slipped from Jiraiya's arms to kiss his beloved.  Ibiki was still aroused he could have sex with him now._

 

Jiraiya's body ached but he determinedly ignored his desire, they needed to find a way to give Ibiki release.  He decided to introduce them to other forms of sex, ways Ibiki could give and receive pleasure with his new lover.  If this worked out right it would be a good way for them both, he was counting on his lover's cries to excite Ibiki enough to make him wish to touch Kakashi's erection... just as he'd done with him during sex...  His heart felt heavy with sorrow, he missed everything about his Koishii.  He wanted to feel his touch, even if it was non-sexual... his touch sexually was not something he'd ever feel again and he must to try to accept it.

 

**Kakashi positioned himself and it was very evident he thought he could fuck him now, that he would not hurt him.  Ibiki quickly grasped his Saiai's hips stopping him from pressing down onto his cock, it didn't matter if he was aroused, it would hurt and he would not hurt him.**

 

_Kakashi was a bit confused, even now that he was no longer inexperienced Ibiki still didn't wish to fuck him?  He really did wish to feel his beloved's cock inside him, yes he was a bit sore but nothing unbearable and no matter how much pain it brought he wanted to hear his lover's cries of pleasure._

 

"You two should shower now.  May I come in for a moment?"  Kakashi nodded, his gaze curious.  Jiraiya was glad Kakashi did not feel threatened by him being aroused around Ibiki, he would not have been able to help it.  The tease of feeling Kakashi's body stroking his cock and the sight of his Koishii's erection made focusing difficult but he kept the knowledge that he was not going to get that 'stimulation' foremost in his mind and followed the two men into the shower.  This would just be easier here, and cleaning up after would be taken care of too.

 

Jiraiya softly urged Ibiki, "Cup his body from behind."  Then looked at Kakashi, "You will feel my hand brush over your balls... is this ok?"  Kakashi nodded, although he was a bit tense. 

 

_Kakashi expected Ibiki to press in and braced for the pain, he would not react and make his lover upset like he'd done earlier.  But his beloved did not push into him, Jiraiya reached down and guided Ibiki's erection to between his legs._

 

**Ibiki felt Jiraiya's grasp and nearly groaned at the strong hunger it brought, but his skilled lover only guided his cock to between Kakashi's legs.  When Ibiki started slowly thrusting he fucked the part of his partner's legs rubbing over his lover's balls and bringing loud cries of pleasure.  This time Ibiki did moan cupping his beloved's hips as he fucked the tight space, the warm water of the shower making his turgid flesh slip easily in the tempting hold.**

 

_Kakashi cried out trembling in pleasure this was so very exciting!  His lover moving against him, rubbing his balls and the loud moans of ecstasy that was coming from his beloved!_

 

Jiraiya had one more bit of advice for Kakashi, "Tighten your thigh muscles."

 

Jiraiya backed away, and as he left Kakashi gave a loud delighted cry and Ibiki grew fevered at the tighter hold, wrapping his hand around his partner's erection and stroking it as he thrust. 

 

This would solve the frustration problem until they could have sex...  Jiraiya dried and dressed.  He could not stay, between the powerful desire he had for his beloved and the yearning for all those tender touches that he could not have... his body and heart hurt too badly to stay.

 

**Ibiki felt his lover's hips buck and a few more thrusts brought his orgasm, it was so strong he was left breathless, his long denial and frustration over and his body now sated.  He released his lover's cock and cradled his Saiai to him placing kisses over his shoulders.**

**Now not urgently aroused, his thoughts lingered on the sorrow and pain in his Koishii's eyes.  Jiraiya had left, of that he was sure... he never should have done this, he'd been so very cruel to him.  Everything he did hurt his beloved... this was all so wrong.**

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya walked around the quiet market, everyone had gone home to their families, lay holding their loved ones as they slept... only he remained.  Separate and alone, his heart hurt worse than his body, they were pains he must bear and go on.  Soon they would be ready for him to leave, but even thinking about walking out that gate again made him feel sick.

 

It was nearly morning before Jiraiya returned to his room, although tired he wasn't sure he could sleep.  Although his body had calmed long ago, the pain in his heart had not eased.  If only he could decide not to love his Koishii, but that was not possible.  He'd tried many times to stop loving the ones who left him, every time an Angel left him, and had not succeeded.  And he loved them nowhere near as greatly as he loved his Koishii.  As hard as he tried not to love him... to need him and long for every caress... it was not possible to stop loving his extraordinary beloved and nothing could end the pain.

 

\--------------------------

 

The soft knock at the door woke him and he knew before even opening it was Ibiki, he forced a smile and opened the door.  "Good morning Koishii."  His smile faltered, he really should stop calling him that, although he was and always would be his Koishii, he was moving on and it was wrong.

 

**Ibiki studied his eyes no matter what expression Jiraiya had his eyes always told the truth, his wonderful beloved was hurting very badly.  "I'm sorry.  I never should have..."**

**Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, "Shhh... everything is ok.  You didn't do anything wrong."**

**Ibiki shook his head, "No, I've done everything wrong from the very beginning until now, hurt you again and again... betrayed your trust and abandoned you.  I couldn't have done anything more _wrong_ than all I've done."**

**Jiraiya caressed his face. "No, Koishii... you did not do anything you didn't feel you had to, you have not ever purposely hurt me.  I love you so very much, I want you to be happy... I will do anything to help you get the happy life you deserve."**

**Ibiki leaned into his touch he wanted it, needed it... and could not have it.**

**He wanted to ask him to come eat with them, but after the last time... he wasn't sure Jiraiya would ever wish to come back to the house.**

 

Jiraiya realized he was stroking his cheek and slowly drew his hand back, "I am ok, you should go to work.  Perhaps I'll see you later."

 

Ibiki simply looked at him with deep sadness, "Just promise me you won't leave... not without telling me."

 

Jiraiya tried to comfort him, "I promise I will not leave, not yet, and I will tell you before I leave."

 

Ibiki looked guilty as he quietly asked, "Will you come eat evening meal with us?" 

 

**Jiraiya smiled happily, but his eyes remained shadowed with pain. "I would love to, would you like me to buy anything for the meal?"**

**Ibiki shook his head, but his verbal reply had nothing to do with the question.  "I want to touch you."**

 

Jiraiya's smile disappeared, "I can't."  His mind and body did not agree on his reply because his hand reached out to take his beloved's.  Ibiki's thumb stroked his palm just like it had done so many times as they walked beside each other and tears sprung to Jiraiya's eyes. 

 

Ibiki released his hand, "I'm sorry." and turned to go but paused, "Will you still come for the evening meal?"

 

Jiraiya's knew his voice was rough with held back tears but he replied, "Yes."  He watched Ibiki walk down the hall and drew a deep breath trying to calm himself as he closed the door. 

 

Now Kakashi knew there was pleasure not pain they needed to work on _them_ having sex, he didn't want his Koishii to be in pain anymore.  Once the issues in he and his new partner's relationship were resolved he'd stop longing to touch him... but Jiraiya would always desire his Koishii's touch.  

 

\----------------------------------

 

The meal was quiet and it felt very strange to see Kakashi looking at him with an emotionless gaze once more... like he'd never allowed his touch, but then it had never actually been his touch he'd wanted.  He'd simply been a bridge to reach what he truly wanted, sex with Ibiki.

 

_[i]Kakashi watched Jiraiya, he expected him to wish to touch him again and he wasn't sure how he felt about that, but the larger man  did not gaze at him with lust or attempt to touch him.  Once again he was reminded of the way Jiraiya had just accepted his touch the first time he'd touched him, without expectation... but they'd had sex, didn't he expect to be able to touch him now?_

_By the time the meal was complete Kakashi was deep in thought about everything that had happened the night before.  Jiraiya had been so very careful... concerned... he'd only given him pleasure.  It was not something he'd thought on at the time... Jiraiya had remained aroused, but did not seek relief, not even from Ibiki.  _

_The soothing touches,  the way he'd said he was 'incredible, extraordinary... beautiful and amazing'.  Why had he said that?  He had asked each time before touching him... Jiraiya confused him._

 

**If Ibiki couldn't see it in Jiraiya's eyes every time he looked at him, he'd have never known how deeply his Koishii was hurting inside.  His tone light and relaxed, he did not let it show in his words or expression.**

**Kakashi also seemed a bit more withdrawn, not really in a bad way, he did not seem uncomfortable around Jiraiya but watched him a bit more intently and his reply to anything said was very brief.**

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Only a few days later Jiraiya broached the subject, once more walking to the house beside Ibiki... he was sure the distressing conversations were now being associated with him meeting and walking with his Koishii... it was sad, but necessary.  Kakashi and Ibiki, did not look as stressed now, it was time to help _them_ have sex.

 

Jiraiya looked over at Ibiki, he loved his wonderful Koishii, his brave strong partner... but he wasn't _his_ anymore.  This was standing in the way of Ibiki 'moving on' and being happy with Kakashi.  "You two need to have sex."

 

Ibiki shook his head, but Jiraiya continued gently.  "Kakashi knows there is pleasure now, not pain." 

 

**Ibiki's met his beloved's eyes as he corrected.  "He knows there is not pain with you, I cause him pain."  **

**Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, "You just went a bit too fast, his body is unfamiliar with the sensations and has to be teased into loosening more before pushing in.  You know what to do, you just need to do it slower."**

**Ibiki shook his head determinedly, "I can't hurt him, that pain I saw on his face... I cannot do it."**  

 

Again Jiraiya found himself saying the words that would bring him such terrible heartbreak.  "I will stay, I will not let you hurt him, this time you know to go slower.  I know you can do this Koishii."

 

Ibiki sighed, "I never should have agreed to your 'helping us' the first time.  Jiraiya, I don't want to hurt you... this is so very cruel to you."

 

Jiraiya did not try to say it did not hurt, but soothed.  "It is a pain I accept, I choose to do this.  You did not ask, I offered, and I wish to help you both find satisfaction in your relationship."

 

Ibiki's gaze returned to the road. "No, Jiraiya, I won't hurt you like that again."

 

"Please Koishii... let me do this, I want you both to be happy.  I want you and Kakashi to have a relationship without this causing you both distress... are you planning on _never_ having sex with him?"

 

Ibiki remained quiet and Jiraiya looked at him in alarm, "It will be a wall between you, you cannot do that... if not for your sake than for Kakashi's.  You cannot deny him for the rest of your lives.  I want to help you get through this, to not fear it." 

 

When Ibiki still did not speak, Jiraiya urged, "Let Kakashi decide for himself if this is what he wants.  Don't decide something so large in your relationship without asking for him to agree or disagree.  This is his decision too."

 

Ibiki looked very grim, he did not look over at him, but gave a slight nod.

 

**He could not just decide without asking his Saiai if he could accept never having sex like he had with Jiraiya... looking at it from his side it was very selfish to just make that decision for him without discussing it.**

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_When the two men walked in they looked very solemn... Ibiki looked even more distressed than Jiraiya.  Kakashi embraced him placing light kisses over his face, then softly asked.  "What is wrong?"  He'd noticed Jiraiya had brought the ingredients he'd bought for the meal into the kitchen, leaving them alone to talk._

 

**Ibiki drew a deep breath and relaxed, for this moment everything was just fine and they'd talk about the other issue after they ate.  "Nothing is wrong, I just was thinking about something, we'll talk after we eat."**

 

_Kakashi nodded, but he wasn't sure he wished to wait, something had been bothering his beloved greatly._

 

**Ibiki kissed his partner tenderly the temptation of his response quickly turned the kiss passionate.  When he broke the kiss he looked at his enthralling lover, his lips parted in a soft excited pant, and he wondered if it was even possible for him to deny having sex with him for the rest of their lives.  The sensual mews and cries teased him greatly, and while intercrural sex brought release, it was not the intimate connection he desired.  "Come in and watch me cook Saiai."**

**Kakashi nodded and they walked in to join Jiraiya.**

 

\-------------------

 

The meal was very quiet, tension filled the air.  After clearing the table the three men went to set in the living room, Kakashi sat very close to Ibiki.  Jiraiya could see that he and Ibiki walking in looking so solemn had left him uneasy.

 

Ibiki seemed to be having trouble broaching the subject so Jiraiya stepped in... he was a bit tired and it was hard to distance himself and play 'sex counselor', the best he could do was state what the issue was bluntly.  "Ibiki does not believe you and he will ever have intercourse, he doesn't trust himself not to hurt you.  Can you accept intercrural sex and not have intercourse?"

 

_Not have intercourse... not feel his beloved inside him like he had Jiraiya... never feel that rush of pleasure...  Ibiki could have intercourse with Jiraiya but not him.  Ibiki had accepted Jiraiya having intercourse with him because he was afraid of hurting him._

**Kakashi just sat looking impassively at Jiraiya for several minutes, then looked at Ibiki.  His gaze softened and filled with love.  "You do not wish to because you are afraid to hurt me?   Would you wish to have intercourse if you knew you would not hurt me?"**

**Ibiki stroked his face, "I desire to touch you in every way Saiai... If I knew I would not hurt you I would wish to make love to you... but there's no way to be sure."**

**Kakashi kissed him tenderly, "I would like to feel you inside me, I wish to have sex."  Then stroked his cheek as he answered, "but if you cannot I will accept it.  I will still want it but I will accept you cannot do it."**

**Ibiki could see the longing in his eyes but he knew his lover really would accept it and not pressure him...  "It is not fair to ask that.  We've put this off long enough, now I need to get past this.  I want Jiraiya to be there... I need to know I won't hurt you."**

 

_Kakashi nodded, the chance to feel his lover inside him, giving him that incredible pleasure... not even the awkward discomfort of another watching was enough to make this not worth it... and the idea of Jiraiya being there was not really disturbing, he didn't wish to think too deeply on the reason why._

 

**Kakashi rose and stripped, Ibiki almost groaned.  His lover took his words very literally, now as in _right this moment_.  Seeing his sexy Saiai's nude body, his own body was in complete agreement that right now would a good time.  He rose to embrace his beloved, then stepped back and removed his own clothes. **

**Jiraiya watched then directed, "We can stay here, this will work better than the bedroom for this."  Kakashi looked uncertain.**

 

_He was confused how were they going to have sex here?   Ibiki looked uneasy and it made him a bit more uncertain... he didn't know what was going to happen, this wasn't the same as the first time.  Kakashi kissed Ibiki as Jiraiya walked out of the room and returned a moment later with lube from the bedroom._

 

**Ibiki desired Kakashi very much and that only made him more afraid he'd hurt his beloved, he'd not prepared him well enough the first time and caused him pain when he pushed his finger in... he gave Jiraiya an anxious look.**

**"I won't leave, I will stay here."  Jiraiya soothed, "I promise I won't let you hurt him."  But 'hidden' in his eyes was sorrow that both Ibiki and Kakashi could see clearly.**

 

Kakashi's eyes held a touch of nervousness, this was only the second time and Jiraiya was having him do it in a different position... as well as a different partner.  Ibiki's anxiety about hurting him was only feeding the smaller man's uncertainty. 

 

Ibiki sat on the couch,  Jiraiya gave his amazing Koishii a reassuring smile.  "Kakashi straddle Ibiki's lap, on your knees, facing him..."   He would prepare Kakashi, this would take one source of worry from his Koishii, he looked gently at Kakashi, "Can I touch you?"

 

_Although he didn't show it he felt a sense of wonder at Jiraiya's asking, even after they'd had sex the other man still asked and did not assume he could touch him... nothing had changed.  He didn't expect anything!  The more he was around Jiraiya the more he could understand why Ibiki felt so strongly about him.  "Yes."_

 

Jiraiya asked seriously, "Is there anywhere you feel anxiety about me touching and you do not wish me to touch?"  This was a chance for Kakashi to set limits and also for his Koishii to understand his lover better, from there he  could adjust what he planned on doing.

 

Kakashi shook his head, "You may touch me... anywhere." 

 

Jiraiya could see that although he'd received his permission, the idea of being touched everywhere was distressing.  He looked in Kakashi's eyes a moment and concluded it wasn't an area he was uncomfortable with, it was at the effort of giving such overwhelming trust.  Jiraiya wouldn't violate that trust, he'd only touch him as much as was necessary.  "Kiss Ibiki."

 

**Ibiki felt a deep love for the smaller man, he was placing his trust in him.  Then he felt a wave of anxiety, he could not violate that trust and hurt him.  Jiraiya's reassuring gaze met his and Ibiki relaxed his Koishii said he wouldn't let him do anything that would hurt him.**

**He cupped Kakashi's face and tenderly kissed him, his partner's soft mew of pleasure helped ease his fear, his Saiai was leaned forward into the kiss his hands resting on his shoulders.**

 

Jiraiya waited until the two men's kiss heated to hunger, then said. "I'm going to touch you now."  Jiraiya watched for any reluctance but did not see any sign this was not 'welcome'.

 

Jiraiya touched Kakashi's shoulder gently and when he'd relaxed in acceptance of his touch slowly massaged his way down the lithe nin's back.

 

Ibiki moaned into their kiss his desire growing with the eager passion of his lover.  Jiraiya continued massaging down to Kakashi's ass then his touch lightened and softly he brushed his fingers over the part, tracing the area.  Kakashi whimpered into the kiss and shivered in pleasure at the feather light tease,  his body relaxing wanting Jiraiya's touch to be firmer.  Jiraiya dampened his finger of the other hand as his finger traced the part firmer, it would be easy to arouse him using chakra however Ibiki could not do that and this was about teaching the two men to give each other pleasure, he refused to think on the painful reality, this was about helping Ibiki's new partner to replace him...

 

Kakashi was now quivering in excitement as Jiraiya's finger circled his rim, then moaned and tried to press into the tease as Jiraiya's slick finger took over,  tempting him until he was pressing back into the pleasure.  As Kakashi pressed into the pleasure firmer, his finger slipped in.  Kakashi stiffened at the still unfamiliar feel and Jiraiya crooned, "Relax... it's ok... you have control... you are allowed to say what can be done." 

 

Kakashi's tension eased and his muscles flexed around Jiraiya's finger then accepted it, slowly his finger began slipping along the passage as his body loosened, remembering the pleasure.  Soon Jiraiya added another finger paused while Kakashi's body flexed around the greater width then accepted it, the inexperienced man's body did not stiffen this time, his trust as well as need was growing.

 

**Ibiki massaged his lover's back as they passionately kissed, he was aware Jiraiya was touching Kakashi but it did not bring the distress he had thought it would.  He was grateful Jiraiya was preparing him, he would make sure Kakashi was ready, he wouldn't let him hurt him.**

 

Jiraiya's fingers pumped into the tight hold, feeling it loosen and wiggling his fingers coaxing the area into loosening further.  He wanted to be sure Ibiki wouldn't cause any pain, a momentary discomfort but that was unavoidable given that his partner was still unfamiliar with it.  Jiraiya coated his fingers well and slowly  pushed three into Kakashi, the shiver he gave was uncertainty and Jiraiya crooned, "I will not hurt you." 

 

Kakashi's muscles had clenched down on Jiraiya's fingers, slowly it loosened, the muscles grasp easing  once more.  Carefully Jiraiya stroked them in the tempting passage, Jiraiya's cock throbbed, but ignoring his bodies demands was becoming all too familiar.  His other hand stroked his Koishii's erection, but it wasn't a stroke as much as coating it liberally with lube. 

 

Jiraiya's fingers slipped out and he took Ibiki's hand coating his fingers, "Feel how your lover's body wants you... the way your fingers can easily slip in and tease his body."  Jiraiya had brought Ibiki's fingers down the press slowly into his partner, he could now feel how loose he had to be to not hurt him.

 

Jiraiya positioned Ibiki's cock, Kakashi's body hovered over the slick flesh as Ibiki's fingers gently fucked his ass.    This was a point where he may need to intervene, Ibiki was very aroused, but he could not thrust into his lover.    His fingers moved freely in Kakashi's body, he slipped them out and Jiraiya cupped Kakashi's hips urging him down slowly.  The very slick length pushed past the loosened ring of muscles and although he gave a slight flinch at the unfamiliar sensation, Jiraiya knew he had not felt more than a flash of pain. 

 

Still Jiraiya distracted them and crooned softly to both men, "Feel the exquisite  sensation of your bodies joined... The pleasure that you can feel from your partner.  Kakashi slowly lower yourself to the base."  Jiraiya did not release his hip he wanted to be ready to stop him if it felt like he was going too quickly and not allowing his body to accept the rigid flesh slipping deep into him.  "The silky stroke along your passage..." Jiraiya teased Kakashi then his beloved.  "The wonderful sensation as your lover's body welcomes you... wants you, slipping down to rest with your arousal in his body."

 

Jiraiya let go of Kakashi's hip as he came to rest at the base, "Now raise yourself slowly up and feel that incredible pleasure again."

 

Kakashi now required no instruction and as Ibiki began rocking his hips slowly into the drop of his lover's body onto his needy length, both men were crying out in rapture.  Jiraiya, backed up they did not need him now but he'd promised his beloved he'd stay near, a reassurance he would not hurt Kakashi.  He wished he could leave, he wanted those touches the kisses and love that Ibiki was giving to his new partner.  He missed the feel of his Koishii inside him, their pleasure a cruel taunt of what he would never have again.

 

He tried to push the sorrow away and remain focused, after a few moments of steadily escalating passion Jiraiya knew the sex had to end now, Kakashi's body would be sore but not hurt.  He did not want him to hurt... for many reasons, not just because his Koishii would find it distressing.  He considered how to bring their release but Ibiki had already come to the same conclusion.  

 

**Ibiki gathered him close angled forward shortening his strokes and preventing himself from bucking deep as he came,  he traced the shell of Kakashi's ear with his tongue.  His lover cried out rocking faster on his cock, his aroused state turning to fevered with need and very quickly his body arched as he cried out in ecstasy at his orgasm.  Ibiki groaned and his own climax quickly followed.  Although he bucked firmly into the wonderfully contracting hold, angled forward like this he did not think he'd caused him any pain.**

 

As they caught their breath Kakashi lay contentedly against Ibiki's chest.  Jiraiya looked away this just grew more painful with every touch of love he was denied, every stroke and kiss his Koishii placed on his new lover's neck and shoulders.

 

He was trying very hard not to let it show but it was clear he was failing as Ibiki glanced up at him with sorrow, it was clear he still wished he was able to touch him.  This only made things hurt more.

Jiraiya knew Kakashi's head had lifted and that he now looked at him as well but he'd looked away, he couldn't meet their eyes, quietly he instructed, "Rise slowly off Ibiki's cock... you will be a bit sore but shouldn't feel any real pain."  His voice dropped as he tried to hide his growing sorrow.  "I need to go now."

 

Jiraiya didn't look at them just turned and walked out.

 

_Kakashi watched, when Jiraiya had left he looked at his lover, Ibiki looked very distressed.  Kakashi lay against his chest stroking the sensitive scars lightly.  The result of the caress made Kakashi's eyes widen, Ibiki was hardening within him!_

Ibiki shook his head he would not fuck him, it would hurt his beloved, he cupped Kakashi's hips and slowly lifted him up off his rapidly swelling length.  If he'd had any doubt that fucking him would hurt his Saiai, it was put to rest by the muted yelp his lover gave as the swollen head slipped through the ring of muscles and left his body.  He wished he'd have lifted him off before, when his cock was flaccid, it wouldn't have caused even that quick flash of pain. 

 

Pain... he was causing Jiraiya a great deal of pain, it had been very cruel to have wanted for him to stay... to help him as he fucked another.   He sighed softly, then stroked his Saiai's back, this was not the time for lamenting.  "We should go shower... are you sore?"  Kakashi shook his head, they both knew he was a bit but not badly... just as Jiraiya had said.

 

Kakashi looked curiously at him, "You don't touch him..." 

 

Ibiki wasn't sure if that was a comment or question but either way it was clear Kakashi did not expect an 'answer'.  Still he replied,  "No... he would not allow it."

 

Ibiki did not try to deny he wanted to and the sorrow in his reply was paired with guilt.  "He's in so much pain... everyone leaves him and now I have too."  He cupped his lover's hips and placed him on his feet then rose and took his hand.  He kissed his beloved tenderly, "I love you Kakashi... come lets shower."

 

\---------------------------------------

 

Late into the night Kakashi thought on the way his beloved had looked as he talked about Jiraiya, he loved him very much.  When Jiraiya was gone he had not been able to bring his lover comfort, his love had not been enough, but he had to wonder... If it had been him gone would Ibiki have been soothed and found happiness with Jiraiya alone again?  It was possible that even now his lover did not truly need him, he loved him but it would not cause him the pain to lose him like it had losing Jiraiya.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya walked aimlessly through the deserted market, this was the second night he found himself here, alone.  It seemed like every other person could find someone to love them forever.  What was wrong with him, why couldn't people continue to love him? 

 

Perhaps it was time to go once more Ibiki was in pain with him here too, was the pain he caused his Koishii  by staying any less than he'd feel if he was gone?  He only had to look to his own feelings to answer that.  Yes it hurt being near his beloved and unable to have his love, but not as greatly as never seeing him again.  He couldn't leave yet, soon now Ibiki would stop inviting him to evening meal... they'd talk less and less, then the talking would stop.  His Koishii would no longer have an interest in being around him.

 

As painful as watching the men have sex was it was not as painful as _that_ would be... he would continue to 'guide' them until Ibiki didn't fear sex with Kakashi.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

The next day Jiraiya decided to visit his friend early, he couldn't bear it if Ibiki came to his room at the inn again.

 

He wandered in and sat with a sigh, Tsunade's playful chastisement was swallowed up by concern, "Jiraiya... you don't look like you're sleeping well."

 

Jiraiya gave his friend a wan smile, "Yes, I didn't sleep well last night."

 

Tsunade was not fooled, "Did you sleep at all?"

 

Jiraiya shook his head all attempt at levity vanished, "No."

 

Tsunade's eyes were full of guilt. "I hate seeing you like this... I was selfish wanting you to come back, we all were.  We asked you to comeback to make us happy but at the cost of you experiencing greater pain."

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "There is no greater pain than to walk away and never see him again, it hurts to be around them but not as much as it will when they forget about me."

 

His friend studied him for a moment, then enigmatically replied, "Jiraiya you have such a loving heart."

 

\---------------

 

As Jiraiya walked back from his visit with his friend he was mildly surprised to feel Kakashi's chakra near, the reserved man did not approach but seemed to be following and watching him.  Jiraiya sat on a bench and waited for the reclusive Shinobi to decide what he wished to say.  But after sitting for a bit the other man had simply continued watching him and Jiraiya rose to return to his room at the inn.  When he walked into the building Kakashi 'appeared'.  "Eat with us."

 

Jiraiya nodded agreement, Kakashi stood emotionlessly studying his face a few more minutes then turned and left without another word.  He didn't seem any more reluctant to accept his presence than before, but he also showed no sign of wishing for him to be there for the meal.  It was like he was delivering a message, it was likely he was giving him a message from Ibiki.

 

\---------------------------

 

_Kakashi wasn't sure why he asked Jiraiya, but he did not seem surprised by his request... he just accepted it... accepted, it was a word that was becoming linked to Jiraiya in his thoughts.  He'd watched him all day, the sorrow and hopelessness on his face reminded him of how his beloved had looked when he was gone.  Jiraiya loved Ibiki very deeply, it was not likely he'd be able to just go and forget about Ibiki, no more than Ibiki could forget him._

_Lady Tsunade had been right... he'd caused this, he'd wanted Ibiki so long, loved him and wanted his love.  Jiraiya and Ibiki were happy... until he stepped in, but even now he knew he'd do it again.  Ibiki's love brought him such joy, made the pain and loneliness disappear, he needed that love._

\------------------------------------------------

**END OF CHAP 12**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 12: TRYING NOT TO LOVE YOU (NICKELBACK)


	13. I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT.13)

**I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT.13)**

 

\-----------

 

Another few days passed, Jiraiya was not sleeping soundly now, even when he did sleep, but often he did not even attempt to.  He walked around the silent village, his thoughts on all those that had left him.  He spent the hours  trying to figure out what was wrong with him, trying to understand what terrible flaw he had that made him unable to be loved. 

 

Tarento's words echoed in his head, _'There's something wrong with **you** that's why no one stays'_.  Yes, something was wrong, but what?  When he wasn't dwelling on that, his thoughts dwelled on trying to think of some way to go on after he left the Leaf village once more.

 

\------------------------------

 

**Ibiki could see Jiraiya's heartbreak and wanted so badly to hold him, to kiss him and promise he'd never let go... but it was too late.  He'd already let his wonderful Koishii go too many times and Jiraiya would never believe him... and as long as he loved Kakashi as well there would be no way to even try.  It wouldn't be fair to either of the men he loved to try.  He knew soon Jiraiya would leave once more, he could not ask him to stay, he'd been far too cruel to his beloved for so long.**

 

Jiraiya arrived for the evening meal just as he always did, Ibiki or Kakashi asked him everyday... he was feeling so very weary lately, there was no sense in dragging this out now, very soon the two men could go on and he would no longer be necessary.  After the meal he offered once more, "I would like to be present while you have sex once more, to ease both your concerns."

 

Kakashi woodenly studied his face, then nodded, his expression indifferent.  Ibiki didn't argue he just  nodded, his eyes full of sorrow.

 

**Ibiki knew it would do no good to try to deny it, Jiraiya would be 'used' once more, hurt so that he could be 'happy' but how could he ever be happy knowing his Koishii was suffering so greatly... and he knew this was it, only a day or two more and Jiraiya would leave again.  He wanted to beg him to stay but he'd been selfish, it had been incredibly cruel to ask for him to return.**

 

_Why did Jiraiya care, why was he helping them to have sex when it hurt him so very much to do so... it didn't make sense.  Jiraiya was getting nothing from this, no pleasure, no release... nothing.  It had to be that he loved Ibiki very deeply, deep enough to accept the pain...  in spite of how he acted, he couldn't really care for him, only Ibiki._

 

Jiraiya directed them to the bedroom and waited as Kakashi lay on his back Ibiki's hands caressing his chest down to his taut stomach, Kakashi rapidly grew aroused and Ibiki's strokes moved lower to his pelvis, he leaned down to place kisses over the ivory skin of his lover's chest, his cock swollen with need.    

 

Jiraiya sat beside Kakashi, "May I touch you?"  Kakashi nodded.  Jiraiya brushed his fingers lightly over his shoulder then slowly slipped down to his erection.  Even though his sorrow the sounds of the gorgeous man's cries of ecstasy brought a hint of pleasure, he was just going to help relax him, this is the lie he told himself as his hand wrapped around Kakashi's arousal but he did not stroke, only softly brushed his thumb over the head. 

 

**Ibiki traced his lover's rim hearing his wanton whimpers of desire, then coated the area in lube and his finger circled the sensitive entrance with the same light brush as Jiraiya's thumb over the head of his lover's cock and Kakashi cried out trembling as his lust grew. Ibiki pressed then returned to stroking around the tight entrance he was surprised when the next time he pressed Kakashi eagerly pushed down.  Ibiki caressed his beloved's balls as his Saiai's muscles clenched around his finger and the fevered man's muscles loosened quickly, his body rocking slowly into Ibiki's touch.**

 

Jiraiya could see Kakashi was going too fast, he was very aroused but his body was still unfamiliar with how to quickly loosen the muscles.  He softly murmured a reminder to Kakashi. "No pain... only pleasure."

 

Kakashi slowed the rock of his hips, he had not been causing pain... not yet, but the experienced man had known he would if he didn't go slower, he'd been too excited by the two men's touch.  Jiraiya softly crooned, "Relax the muscles... want his finger stroking and teasing your body... the pleasure he gives with his touch."

 

Ibiki slowly worked up to three fingers, but hesitated.  Jiraiya urged gently, "Feel how his body loosens for you, welcomes you, like the last time..."  Jiraiya saw Ibiki's tension ease, he knew what his lover's body felt like when he was ready... it gave him confidence.  He coated his cock with lube but remained  unsure.

 

Jiraiya purred, "Slowly... feel the silken grasp, enjoy the pleasure as your lover's body accepts you." Jiraiya was also watching Kakashi, "The glorious soft rub of your beloved's slick flesh sliding into you, the pleasure of feeling his body covering yours as his arousal strokes the inside of your body."  Kakashi was quivering in excitement, his hands grasping Ibiki's arms in encouragement. 

 

**Ibiki was moaning as the feel of his cock slowly slipping into the amazing hot grasp of his Saiai's body, every slow slide forward ecstasy.  "Tease him Koishii."  Jiraiya encouraged.  Ibiki slipped back a bit and then continued forward as Kakashi moaned in delight.  Ibiki did it again, the slow slide back as great a tease of him as his partner... his lover's body was rapidly loosening in need of more.**

Jiraiya watched the two men, Ibiki had been nervous but he'd done wonderfully, enjoyed the slow pace and tempted his beloved until he was rocking into the slow strokes.  Ibiki paused deep and circled his hips as Jiraiya had taught him... Kakashi's response was to howl in rapture trembling and giving wanton lusty cries. 

 

Jiraiya slipped off the bed, he couldn't stay... just seeing his Koishii doing that hurt so much... giving his new lover pleasure just as he'd once given him...  this was the last time.  Ibiki would know now that he could do it without hurting him, they did not need him there anymore.

 

**Ibiki sank deep and remained slowly rocking his hips with short strokes, Kakashi writhed in ecstasy beneath him.  Ibiki traced the shell of his ear hearing his lover's cries turn urgent, his hips rocking into the shallow strokes.  "Saiai wrap your legs around me."**

**As he teased his beloved's tender ear his legs tightened holding him near and as he brought Kakashi's orgasm they clasped him tight to his body as his muscles rippled around his cock. Ibiki moaned in rapture his hips giving a firm buck as he climaxed, but held close by his lover's legs it was without force and caused him no pain.**

 

_Kakashi sighed contentedly, his beloved on top of him his cock deep within... it was incredible.  If Jiraiya hadn't 'helped' them he would have never felt this pleasure._

_He was certain the experienced man had left... Caring... Jiraiya encouraged him to 'slow down' when he'd become too excited, wanted to be sure he wouldn't hurt himself... was it only because it would upset Ibiki?   He looked like he really hadn't wished to see him hurt... he was baffled by the emotions that Jiraiya's concern brought... why did he care?  Why was he so gentle to him?_

_He had not forgotten Ibiki's words when he'd asked if he didn't touch him anymore... Jiraiya wouldn't allow it...so confusing.  They would not require him for sex anymore... but he seemed like part of it, like it would be strange to not have him there, softly touching him and his soothing voice... was that just because every time they'd had sex was with him present?_

 

\----------------

 

_When he walked in to get his mission for the day Kakashi saw the simple courier mission on the mission scroll handed to him by his Commander and lover.  Ibiki wouldn't give him 'dangerous' assignments...  he'd seen Ushi and H_ _itsuji_ _getting ready for a mission... the mission Kakashi knew he was originally supposed to go on.  Ibiki had assigned it to them and gave him a 'safe' mission._

_His beloved was also his commander, he could not continue doing this, to not use him was to place his fellow ANBU in danger and be given special treatment... and to fail to do what was best for the village.  Kakashi looked over the mission brief, prepared for it, put on his Neko ANBU mask and then went to tell his peers that he would take the assignment.  He wasn't actually taking another's assignment, it was supposed to be him on this mission so he was just 'correcting' an inaccuracy._

_When he found Ushi he told him Ibiki had switched them off the mission, his peer looked at him a moment, then nodded.  He had no reason not to believe him, Ibiki had left Kakashi in charge for months, and he would not question why the mission had been switched to Kakashi._

_Then Kakashi found H_ _itsuji_ _and told him he was to take the courier mission.  The man nodded and left with the assigned scroll and Kakashi went to complete his original mission._

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki saw his ANBU walking down the hall, the same one who should be on assignment at this moment.  He would not have let his comrade Hitsuji go by himself, that was a very dangerous mission!  Ibiki's gaze sharpened as he stopped him, "Ushi I assigned you a mission."**

**Ushi  looked surprised and a bit confused.  "Sir, I was told by Neko that you had put him on the mission instead."**

**"He took Hitsuji?"  Ibiki inquired.**

**His ANBU shook his head. "No sir.  Hitsuji is on a courier mission."**

**Ibiki swore his heart dropped to the floor, nothing was evident in his voice or face but inside he was panicking.  "I see, that will be all."**

**The now mission-less ANBU continued down the hall, it was likely he was going to test and sharpen his weapons... it would be dangerous if you went to rely on one on a mission and it was too damaged or was too dull to do what was necessary.**

**Dangerous... the Grass nin were not a 'friendly' group, they held animosity toward the Leaf village and this was a 'scout party' that was trespassing in the Land of Fire leaving no doubt their intentions were not good.  Kakashi had taken that dangerous mission... alone.  Now all he could do was wait for his return.**

**\--------------------------------------**

**Ibiki looked at the clock again, the mission would not have taken this long... all that kept going through his head was how Kakashi had been injured so greatly he'd almost died on his last dangerous mission.  Where was he?  Should he send another set of ANBU?  No... not without knowing the situation, he would not risk them too.**  

 

\----------------------

 

Jiraiya was growing concerned, normally Ibiki and Kakashi were 'home' by now... when he'd arrived neither was there.  It was probably nothing but a nagging concern lingered.  He'd just drop by the ANBU  building and see Ibiki, he needed to know his Koishii was alright, he may not be able to say but just being reassured that Kakashi was ok as well would ease his anxiety.

 

Jiraiya knew the moment he stepped into Ibiki's office, behind his attempt at maintaining a calm emotionless front his beloved looked like he was ready to panic.    Jiraiya rush over and enclosed him in his arms, "Koishii what's wrong?"

 

Ibiki shook his head, distress gave his tone a haunted note. "He wasn't supposed to go on this mission, it was too dangerous I changed the mission plan to send two men... Kakashi went alone.  Jiraiya, he took a very dangerous assignment and he should have returned hours ago... I can't send more men without knowing what I'm sending them into."

 

Jiraiya hugged his Koishii tenderly. "It's ok, I promise, I'll take care of it."

 

**Ibiki wanted to tell him no, but Jiraiya maybe Kakashi's only hope.  He nodded, drew the mission brief, Jiraiya scanned it and walked out with a rapid determined gate.**

 

Jiraiya swore he would not let this happen.  He wouldn't let Ibiki lose the man he loved, he would get him no matter what it took.  The idea of Kakashi injured again sent a strong wave of fear through him and he rushed quickly towards the Hidden grass nin's encampment... the irony was this was the route he'd taken when planning on leaving the Land of Fire, it was likely he'd passed right by them.  Caught up in his own personal issues he'd paid no attention to something that was a serious threat to the Leaf village.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki sat at his desk for over an hour watching the office door and praying he hadn't just lost both men he loved.  He never should have let Jiraiya go... but in his heart he knew even if he'd told him not to he'd still have went.  He had saw his fierce look,  Jiraiya was driven to protect the ones he loved.  He knew it was because Jiraiya felt he'd failed to protect his family... his Koishii would have went because he wouldn't want Ibiki to lose the man he loved, the one Jiraiya believed to be the 'one', his life mate... just like he'd almost died trying to save Shizune.**

**By the time Jiraiya appeared in the office Ibiki had given up all attempt to look calm, his Koishii was liberally streaked with blood. "Not mine." Jiraiya replied shortly lay a hand on Ibiki and made the hand signs.**

**Ibiki didn't have to ask why, as the next thing he saw was Kakashi, backed into a corner he was badly injured, but it was clear he'd reacted to being touched.  He'd injured one of the ANBU medic the other was caring for his peer.  Kakashi had gathered his energy and 'held' his chidori before him, ready to defend himself.  There was a blood trail to the corner and blood was beginning to pool on the floor beneath his injured lover.  Ibiki tried to get his attention, "Kakashi."**

**His lover's hitai-ate** **was laying on the bed near the fallen medic, clearly they'd been hovered over him when he struck.  "Please Saiai, please let them touch you."  Kakashi looked too panicked, it was very likely that he didn't even recognize him.**

 

Jiraiya watched his Koishii beg, then feeling very disgusted with himself, Jiraiya 'attacked' Ibiki's injured lover. 

 

**Ibiki watched Jiraiya evade Kakashi's strike without effort and then his Saiai dropped to the floor. Jiraiya's single strike was so fast he didn't even see what he'd done, but he didn't have time to worry about that.  The medic rushed up to the unconscious man and started healing him as rapidly as possible and his gaze remained glued to his beloved's pale face.**

Jiraiya felt sick, his eyes riveted to Kakashi, it wasn't until the medic relaxed and it was clear Kakashi wouldn't die that he looked away, his voice was guilty, "I'm sorry... I had to.  I knew how badly he was injured _"... and struck him anyway_.  "I only left him here a second hoping if I brought you he'd let the medics touch him."

**Ibiki was aware from the pattern of the blood on Jiraiya that he'd embraced Kakashi, it was likely that he'd needed to transport with him.  He nodded, they had lifted the unconscious man onto a bed, the first medic was healed now and was helping care for him.  As an ANBU healer It was not unusual to be attacked, frightened and in terrible pain these elite Shinobi were highly dangerous and the medic did not hold it against Kakashi.**

**Jiraiya sighed, "I should go now."**

**Ibiki didn't like the sound of those words and this time went with his instinct, "Jiraiya don't leave."**

**Jiraiya shook his head not trying to deny he'd intended on not only leaving the building but the village as well.  "Kakashi will not want me around, I betrayed his trust."**

**"Don't leave, we will handle it... somehow we can handle it..." Ibiki urged, but it was clear Jiraiya didn't believe that, they'd lied to themselves for over a month now.  None of this could be fixed, there was no solution... this wasn't as much about having 'attacked' his other lover as it was that the warm-hearted man had given up.  "Please Jiraiya, don't go."  Ibiki did not care that his men would hear, he pleaded.  "I need you here."[/b]**

 

Jiraiya was stunned and very uneasy, his Koishii was begging in front of his men... "I will stay."  Jiraiya looked over at the medics although they were not appearing to be aware of what was going on between them he knew they'd heard.  He quietly comforted, "Please don't beg for me Koishii... I cannot deny you." 

 

**Jiraiya's posture straightened and in a normal tone stated, "Kakashi was successful in his mission."  He  walked over to Kakashi,  Ibiki saw him pause and stroke his leg tenderly before turning to unwrap Kakashi's left ankle.  Then he unwrapped another layer that was not a normal wrap.**

**Ibiki nodded, but he still looked a bit uneasy.   Jiraiya returned to Ibiki with the scroll, "I will brief you after we get Kakashi to a place to recover."**

**Ibiki looked back at his Saiai.  The ANBU had completed healing him and moved away, not willing to spook the exhausted Shinobi when he woke.**

 

Jiraiya turned away from the medic and handed Ibiki the scroll, when he'd embraced Kakashi he'd known.  The blood soaked cloth of his wrap had remained stiff, he'd hidden something there, likely the scroll he'd been sent to get.  The 'enemy' nin had not searched Kakashi well, it was hidden by being wrapped around his ankle beneath the wraps he always wore.  "He should not wake here, I will take him." 

 

**Ibiki nodded, although he did not say it, it was clear Jiraiya did not mean to the hospital, they'd be waiting at the house, when he had secured the scroll he'd come.**

 

Jiraiya walked over and cautiously lifted him, although he was not injured any more he couldn't let go of the memory of how he'd looked when he arrived, it did not help that the smaller man was still in blood coated clothing.

 

He cradled him to his chest and carefully made the hand signs with one hand, years of practice and many injuries had made it a necessity to learn.

 

Once in the house Jiraiya hesitated a moment, he felt like he was violating him but stripped the cloth of his uniform off and bundled it he would dispose of it so Ibiki would not get a closer look at it.  Then he walked into the shower and rinsed Kakashi, the fact he remained unconscious filled him with shame. 

 

He'd attacked him... he gave a disgusted sigh, he'd swore he'd never hurt him and he'd attacked him.  Jiraiya dried him as best as possible and lay him on his bed drawing the cover up over his nude form and backing away to sit on the edge of Ibiki's bed, watching him and waiting for Ibiki to arrive.

 

_Kakashi's eyes opened and he stiffened in alarm before recognizing where he was, his gaze slipped over to Jiraiya.  He didn't know how much time they'd have alone before Ibiki would walk in and there was something he needed to say to Jiraiya.  "Don't tell him... it would not be good for him."_

 

Kakashi looked even more somber than he usually did.  Jiraiya reluctantly nodded, he did not wish to keep secrets from his Koishii but he had to agree completely with Kakashi's words, it would not be good for Ibiki. 

 

Kakashi had been bound when he found him, the multitude of stabs and cuts that were bleeding was horrific, and the last would have ended it... when Jiraiya arrived it had been the two sadistic nin that died.  They'd been torturing him, stabbing him in all non vital areas, prolonging his life and his pain... he wasn't sure if they'd been trying to get him to talk  or just 'having fun'  but it either way it had cost them their lives. 

 

Jiraiya knew Kakashi's 'reaction' to the medic was fueled by more than his distress about being touched.  In pain and nearly delirious with blood loss he'd not been able differentiate if they were 'good' or 'bad' just defended himself  not allowing them to touch him. 

 

"The grass nin were angry..."  Kakashi stated enigmatically.

 

"About the scroll?"  Jiraiya prompted.

 

_"No, they didn't know I had the scroll."  Kakashi studied him, Jiraiya's gaze still held a hint of the distress that was in it when he'd grabbed him and held him to transport... it had been a great distance, he doubted anyone but the Sannin could have done it and it was surprising he had been able to while holding him._

 

Jiraiya waited and he briefly elaborated, "I killed a few before they bound me."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he could feel the strong chakra in the younger man, and even if he could not have, it would have been clear by the fact that even while very badly injured he had produced and 'held' a chidori.   It was likely Kakashi had killed a great deal of his attackers... still cruelty was not something that was acceptable even if it had been in war.  Even in war torture was only done for interrogation, not pleasure.

 

Jiraiya felt a wave of guilt, "I'm sorry I struck you." 

 

Kakashi studied him a moment although others would not see any indication of emotion from the stoic nin, Jiraiya was beginning to be able to 'read him' a bit.  His gaze was not angry or hostile, it was curious.  "Why did you come... why did you look for me?"

 

"Ibiki loves you, he needs you... he couldn't bear to lose you."  Jiraiya looked away and admitted, " _I_ couldn't bear to lose you."  He really didn't wish to see the ridicule in Kakashi's eyes, yes he was a fool, he cared about the man he loved's other lover, the one who would replace him.

 

_Kakashi had no idea how he felt any more, the way he'd felt when Jiraiya arrived, killed his captors and cradled him to his chest... he'd felt safe, protected and soothed... it eased the pain.  When Jiraiya had left him at the infirmary he panicked, the security was gone and he was terrified.  The one thing he knew without a doubt was..."I trust you."_

 

Jiraiya was surprised, he studied the enigmatic man, he didn't feel like he'd betrayed his trust?  He'd struck him... he'd been in pain and frightened, and he'd struck him.

 

_Kakashi could see the Sannin's surprise and the baffled look in his eyes as he regarded him.  "You did what you had to.  I trust you."  It had only taken the skilled man one strike to kill each of his captors and it was done so rapidly that Kakashi hadn't even had time to recognize he was being rescued.  Swift as a breeze Jiraiya had swept in and in that instant they were dead..._

_No, the powerful Shinobi had not struck him.  Jiraiya had taken his captors down with a strike, the cautious way he'd only knocked him out was nothing like a strike._

_Jiraiya's gaze softened to affection, "Thank you."_

_Kakashi was a bit frustrated he lacked the words to express his thoughts and the understanding of how to express his emotions... Ibiki had been like this, before Jiraiya Ibiki had been just as 'locked inside' as he was._

 

The unusual man seemed to be struggling to express himself, this was probably the most he'd said to anyone but Ibiki in a very long time.  Jiraiya did not expect this effort but he was grateful he was trying.

 

Kakashi's voice remained nearly toneless, "You need to touch Ibiki." 

 

Once more the quiet man had surprised him.  "Why would you like me to touch Ibiki?"

 

"He wants you to... I do too."  Kakashi replied although his tone had not changed there was a sincerity in his eyes that showed he was certain of what he was saying.

 

He had to be misunderstanding him, Jiraiya carefully clarified, "You want me to touch him... and you want my touch?"  Kakashi's answer was the light blush that tinted his cheeks.

 

Jiraiya soothed, "Any time you wish, you have only to ask."

 

_Kakashi had no idea why he'd said that to Jiraiya... it was true but that he'd said it surprised him as greatly as it had surprised Jiraiya.  "You're wet."_

_Jiraiya rose, he looked embarrassed.  "I'm sorry I had to strip you... I had to get the uniform off and wash away the blood._

_Kakashi's cheeks heated at the thought, although Jiraiya had seen him without clothing it was different to be stripped by someone... Kakashi's blush faded as he realized why it was vital to get the uniform off and the blood washed away quickly.  Ibiki would have known what happened from the pattern of cuts in the uniform and the placement of the sections of dried blood.  "Thank you."_

 

Jiraiya gave him a sad smile, he hoped the abusive nin had not caused Kakashi a trauma, he already had a very hard time interacting with others.  "I'm going to get you something to drink, Ibiki will be here very soon." 

 

As Jiraiya walked away his thoughts turned to his Koishii.  He'd told Kakashi that he would touch him when he asked... but how would his Koishii feel about it.  There was a good chance his beloved would not be 'thrilled' by the thought. 

 

Touch him... he'd felt the desire to touch Kakashi since the night they'd had sex, the urge to stroke his cheek to soothe and reassure him, to massage his back to comfort him... his life just got a bit more complicated, and it had been a disaster already.  He shouldn't even still be here, there was no reason for him to stay in the village anymore and now that he'd realized he was starting to care about... love, Kakashi as well it was even more important that he leave. 

 

He had not realized how deeply he'd come to care about the quiet man until he'd saw him bound and bleeding.  It had filled him with horror and rage... in retrospect killing the two nin had not really been necessary, but he was not thinking very clearly.  When he'd seen Kakashi, he struck to kill and went to clasp him to his chest as he unbound him.

 

Jiraiya could feel when Ibiki arrived, the sudden appearance of his chakra signature meant he'd performed a transportation jutsu.  He continued pouring a glass of juice, then turned and walked back to the bedroom.  Ibiki was hugging Kakashi tight his eyes haunted, "Saiai... I can't lose you.  Please don't do that... don't change missions with others."

 

Kakashi sighed as Ibiki released him, "You cannot just give me just the non-dangerous missions... this was the mission I was originally slotted for."

 

Ibiki stroked his face, "I know I can't just give you the easy missions... but this one was changed to two men.  A back up to keep guard as the other secured the scroll, I should have just assigned someone to go with you... when you feel I'm not being fair please talk to me."

 

Kakashi nodded, Jiraiya took the break in conversation to encourage, "Kakashi you need to drink this and rest."  The pale man was nearly white and he could see the exhaustion on his face.  Jiraiya handed him the juice waited and took the empty glass. 

 

Ibiki kissed his Saiai, "I want to hold you until you fall asleep."  Kakashi nodded

 

**Ibiki looked over afraid he'd hurt Jiraiya but he did not look disturbed and stated.  "I won't leave." Then walked out of the room.  Ibiki cradled Kakashi to his side.  "Saiai I love you."  As Kakashi closed his eyes, Ibiki thought about Jiraiya's words _'I won't leave.'_  Did he mean the village or the house?  **

 

Jiraiya looked at his damp clothes performed a transportation jutsu and in his room at the inn washed and redressed.  He'd taken Kakashi's uniform, he now placed it and his own clothes in the trash, neither were salvageable.  Jiraiya made the hand signs and appeared in the living room once more, walked in and reheated some leftovers, he would need to heat some food up for Kakashi in a few hours...

 

**When he knew Kakashi was asleep Ibiki slipped off the bed and stood watching him a moment.  This latest catastrophe was because he'd refused to assign his lover, his top ANBU, the missions that were top level S rank.  He could not do that anymore, he just had to believe in him, and let him do what he was trained for, but taking the chance of losing him was so hard.**

**Ibiki walked out into the living room and saw Jiraiya had reheated the food from last night's meal, two plates, at the table... Jiraiya was planning on staying to eat.**

 

Jiraiya couldn't help it, his arms wrapped around Ibiki cradling him to his chest, his Koishii had been so frightened... and he had been too.

 

**Ibiki saw he was in different clothes now and gratefully embraced him once more, he remembered very distinctly, his Koishii had been coated in Kakashi's blood.  "Thank you... You brought him back to me.  When you were gone I was afraid I'd lost you both."**

 

Jiraiya nuzzled him, it was meant as a reassurance but Ibiki flushed hard, and Jiraiya's body responded.  Jiraiya released him, but did not wish him to feel rejected so smiled softly and encouraged, "I reheated some food, we should eat it before it gets cold."

 

**Ibiki nodded and they sat, just this brought him comfort, eating beside his Koishii... but the knowledge of his Saiai in the bedroom also brought guilt, he was very conflicted.  His emotions were in chaos, he was happy that his Koishii was near and distressed because he'd almost lost his Saiai.**

**Jiraiya reached across the table and gave his hand a soothing gentle squeeze, "Everything will be ok.  He'll bounce back, he just needs a few days."**

**Ibiki nodded, but his gaze fell to where Jiraiya's hand held his and answered quietly.  "Will it be ok?"**

**Jiraiya looked tenderly at him, "I don't know... I wish I could tell you yes."  Jiraiya looked over at the bedroom, "He's awake, I'm going to get some food and a bit more juice."  He rose and walked into the kitchen.**

**Ibiki rose too, but it was to go in and sit beside his Saiai and soothe him, or perhaps it was to reassure himself that his beloved was here and not gone forever.  Kakashi sat up and Ibiki was going to place some pillows behind his back when he noticed his boyfriend was completely bare... he wasn't sure why this surprised him, it was natural that Jiraiya would have stripped and washed the blood from him but... Kakashi gave a slight blush, "I was unconscious."**

**Ibiki nodded, he remembered now that Jiraiya's clothes had been damp, he'd walked into the shower with his clothes on... very likely he'd not wished to distress Kakashi... or him.  Jiraiya walked in with some food for Kakashi and Ibiki's plate on a tray, set it down beside them walked out and got their drinks.  Jiraiya studied Kakashi's pale face, "Please try to eat a bit and drink the juice, you need the hydration."  Then he walked out.**

 

_Kakashi looked down at the food, this was like before... Jiraiya taking care of him, accepting that Ibiki would stay beside him...  his partner stroked his cheek breaking him out of his contemplation._

_"Please eat Saiai."  Kakashi nodded and ate a few bites he was feeling very tired again and took the juice drank the glass before laying back._

 

**Ibiki saw Kakashi's eyes close, but the weary man said, "Tell him thank you."**

**Ibiki gave a little smile, "I will Saiai."  Kakashi fell asleep and Ibiki carried the tray and glasses out of the room.  Jiraiya was in the kitchen, it was so like the last time... but would it end the same, with Jiraiya disappearing again?**

 

Jiraiya looked back he was going to take the dishes but his Koishii looked so sad, "Is everything ok?"

 

**Ibiki did not know how to answer that, no it was not ok... he was still wanting to hold and love both men and he was constantly nearly losing one of them.  Jiraiya would leave and he'd have lost him again.**

**Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "Koishii don't be sad."**

**"Will you stay here tonight?"  Ibiki knew he shouldn't ask and yet he needed to know both the men he loved were near... if only for this short time.**

**Jiraiya replied, "Yes" but he looked uncomfortable, "I'd like to stay and take care of Kakashi while you are at work... "**

**Ibiki nodded and gave a very relieved smile, "I would like that."**

**Jiraiya relaxed and teased, "Perhaps I should volunteer at the hospital next."**

**Ibiki gave a soft laugh, but it was of joy, Jiraiya would stay with him for at least a few days.  He wanted to hug him, but even if his Koishii was allowing his touch at this moment he wasn't going to push it, he didn't want to lose this wonderful gift from him.**

**They washed dishes together just as they'd done so long ago, he'd missed even this... Jiraiya smiling and drying the dishes, talking about the village and sharing amusing stories about their past.**

**When the kitchen was clean Jiraiya urged, "You need to sleep..."**

**Ibiki stroked his beloved's cheek, "I love you."**

**Jiraiya smiled, but his eyes were sad, "I love you always Koishii."**

**\----------------------------------------**

**Ibiki walked into the bedroom and soon lay looking up at the ceiling as he thought on the near tragedy they'd just been through.  If it wouldn't wake Kakashi he'd be tempted to crawl into the bed with him and just hold him all night... just as he'd done with Jiraiya after going to get him back from Lightning.  Everything was changed by that one poor decision, sending Jiraiya away was the worst mistake he'd ever made... but since then, it seemed like making one mistake after another was all he did.**

**Now he wished he could go hold Jiraiya... his life was a mess.**

 

\---------------------------

 

Although he was sleeping on the couch he was happier there than at his room at the inn, he could not deny to himself that he wished to be near Kakashi as well... yes, he was a fool, but he would take whatever small bit of pleasure he could get.  

 

Kakashi had said he could touch Ibiki... and also, very surprisingly, that he wanted his touch.  But unless the reserved man asked he would not touch him.  He was still not certain if it would upset his Koishii, but he was fairly certain it would. 

 

It would be just as wrong to touch Kakashi as it was to touch Ibiki, he didn't belong here... but for the moment he could live in this dream and get what happiness he could before...  No, he would not think on that tonight.

 

Touching Ibiki... that was very 'dangerous', he should not have sex with his Koishii, and he knew Ibiki wished to just as greatly as he did.  He needed to try to limit the touching.

 

It was nearly morning by the time he slept, when he woke it was to see Ibiki sitting nearby watching him.  His eyes held so strong of love that Jiraiya could not believe he was going to walk away from it again.  Pakkun's words came back to him.  _'Will you just go on to live your life and forget about him?  Will you stop loving him?  Do you think him shallow... frivolous... Do you **really** think he'll just go on?'_  

 

What was right?  He didn't know any more, nothing he could do seemed right, his beloved would not 'just go on'.  His Koishii would hurt too... but he could not stay here, standing between Ibiki and Kakashi having a healthy relationship.

 

**Ibiki watched Jiraiya, his emotions so clear on his face, his honest open expressions telling every thought.  He wanted to touch him, but just remained watching his conflict, the same conflict that was in himself.  There was no answer all they were doing was putting it off and yet he wanted to continue.  To selfishly have both the men he loved beside him.**

**Jiraiya gave a little smile but his eyes were now full of sadness, "Would you like me to make something for breakfast... Kakashi will wake soon and he should eat."**

**Ibiki nodded, "He told me to tell you thank you... last night, I forgot to tell you."**

**Jiraiya gave a genuine smile of pleasure, like he used to so long ago, before he'd destroyed the incredible, loving man's trust.**

**Both men's heads turned as they heard the soft shuffle of Kakashi walking into the room and Jiraiya leapt up.  "You should not get up, not yet, give yourself time to recover."**  

 

_Ibiki had walked over and enclosed him in his arms.  "Saiai please rest."  Kakashi nodded, he saw the concern in Jiraiya's eyes.  He'd heard the two men talking when he'd gotten up and slipped some sleep pants on, now he was feeling very tired again._

_"I will get you something to eat and some juice."  Jiraiya gently insisted, "You and Ibiki should go back to your room, I will bring it to you."_

_Kakashi allowed Ibiki to hold him as they returned to his bed.  His bed... it had been Jiraiya's... he knew now that the stool in the kitchen was where Jiraiya had sat watching Ibiki cook before, when he'd lived there.  Now Jiraiya directed him to sit there..._

 

**Ibiki was worried, Kakashi was often quiet but he was aware of his beloved's moods after being beside him for so long, his Saiai was distressed.  Was it because he'd seen the way he was looking at Jiraiya, he knew his eyes held longing for his Koishii's touch.**

 

_Kakashi slipped back into the bed, Jiraiya came in a moment later.  "I brought juice.  Do you like eggs?  I could make tamagoyaki."  Kakashi nodded, he closed his eyes a moment, he was feeling a bit dizzy after the excursion of walking out to the living room.  When he opened his eyes both Ibiki and Jiraiya were watching him with concern._

_"Please drink some juice, it will help."  Jiraiya held the glass out and Kakashi took it drinking it and handing the glass back.  Jiraiya was right, it did help, the dizziness had faded.  "I like tamagoyaki."_  

 

Jiraiya knew Ibiki liked them, although it was rare for him not be the one cooking...  but that was before, Jiraiya fought back the stab of sorrow and smiled. "Good, I can make some up... would you like some grated daikon with it?"  Kakashi shook his head and Ibiki nodded.  Jiraiya returned to the kitchen, placed the teakettle on the stove, started some coffee and then made the meal. 

 

_When Jiraiya returned he had their food on the tray and placed it before them, then left the room and came back with Ibiki's coffee and a cup of herbal tea for him.  Jiraiya was so caring.  His eyes held no bitterness, no anger, although he was looking at the person who'd taken everything that had been his.  He looked at him with compassion and concern, wishing to be sure he was ok._

_Kakashi's thoughts drifted to the gentle affection in his eyes as he 'guided' him the first time he had sex.  Kakashi blushed as he got a very evident erection and he looked away, down at the food, then quietly began to eat._

 

**Ibiki saw his lover flush with desire and wanted to groan, his beloved was tempting but he could not, his Saiai needed to rest.  He wondered what Kakashi had been thinking about that had aroused him.**

**He noticed Jiraiya kept his eyes raised pretending he was not aware of Kakashi's arousal, "I will return in a bit and see if you need more tea or coffee."**

**Kakashi finished eating and grew tired, his body had, calmed and he just sipped on the tea.  When Jiraiya walked in and took the tray Ibiki rose and kissed his Saiai's temple, "I will be back later."  He wished he did not have to go to work but he was very grateful Jiraiya was there... not just because his Saiai would be taken care of but he looked forward to seeing him after he returned from work.**

 

_Kakashi heard the outside door close, but as he lay back his mind lingered on his thoughts of Jiraiya... non sexual thoughts about how everything he'd had was taken from Jiraiya, by him.  _

 

Kakashi seemed distracted, but Jiraiya saw the truth, he was distressed.  When he spoke he confirmed it.

 

"This bed... everything... it was yours and I took it from you."  He'd remained looking down at his nearly empty cup, his voice nearly toneless.

 

Jiraiya soothed softly, "Shhh... you didn't take anything, I gave you everything."

 

Kakashi looked up and met his eyes, "Yes, you gave me everything.  You didn't keep anything for yourself."

 

Jiraiya knew he wasn't talking about the bed and material items anymore.  "You are a good man, he will be happy with you.  I'm glad he has you."

 

_"He was happy with you."  Kakashi replied, he'd seen many of the other nin looking at him in confusion.  It had been well known that Ibiki and Jiraiya were deeply in love, then suddenly Jiraiya was gone and Kakashi was by his side... Iruka glared at him whenever he saw him._

_Jiraiya gave a sad little smile, "He was for the moment, but it could not last.  I don't want him to be alone... I want him to be with someone he'll love forever."_

_"He could love you forever."  Tsunade had been very clear, Iruka too... he'd ripped the two men who loved each other apart so he could have Ibiki._

_Jiraiya's eyes filled with despair.  "He can't... no one can."_

_Kakashi studied him but did not press any further, he was hurting him by asking and it would not change anything now.  He would not ever let Ibiki go, he could not go back to that emptiness again,  no hope, no joy... alone.  Like Jiraiya would be now._

_He didn't understand why Jiraiya felt that Ibiki wouldn't continue to love him, everyone around him believed they had been meant to be together.  He lay back and closed his eyes, thinking about it until sleep claimed him again._

 

Jiraiya sat on Ibiki's bed watching him, he had such a sweet innocence about him and yet he was an accomplished killer... Kakashi was a unique individual.  It was unlikely that anyone completely understood him, but Ibiki was getting closer every day and Jiraiya was glad.  Kakashi really was a good man, he'd make a wonderful life mate for Ibiki.

 

\----------------------------------

 

_The next time Kakashi woke he looked around, very uneasy, until he remembered why he felt so tired... it frightened him when things were unexpected and waking up feeling so weak had made his heart pound._

_Jiraiya walked in his little smile of greeting turned to concern.  "Are you ok?"_

_Kakashi drew a deep breath and nodded, he was calming, it was frightening to feel so helpless.  Once more Jiraiya smiled gently, "Would you like something to eat or drink?"_  

 

Kakashi just looked over at him expressionlessly, but Jiraiya could see the anxiety hidden beneath as he replied softly. "No."

 

Jiraiya turned and was about to leave when Kakashi asked, "Will you stay in here..."

 

Jiraiya nodded.  He understood not wishing to be alone, he sat on the edge of Ibiki's bed and soothed.  "Rest Myobu."

 

Kakashi looked surprised, then curious.  "Silver Kitsune?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, "You are slender and beautiful like a silver fox, cunning and wise like a Kitsune."

 

Kakashi's expression was now enigmatic, "Touch me." 

 

_Myobu were good... pure, did Jiraiya really see him as good?  Kakashi thought about how Jiraiya had held him when he was injured, the feeling of being protected... cared for?  He wanted that, that warmth..._

 

Jiraiya nodded, he'd said if he asked he would.  He walked over and brushed his finger's over the fine cheekbone, and his hand was going to drop away  Kakashi closed his eyes leaning slightly into his touch and Jiraiya's heart filled with tender affection.  "You are so very extraordinary."

 

_The gentle touch and praise... it felt good, calming, this man had come to defend  him when he'd been hurt, vulnerable, and eased his pain._

 

The bi-color eyes opened and looked up at him once again Jiraiya marveled at how someone who had seen so much horror in his life could look so innocent.  He'd remained separate from everyone so long that he'd completely missed learning to understand others and was confused by his own emotions.  Jiraiya's fingers continued stroking the silky skin, "You should sleep." 

 

_Kakashi lay back but held Jiraiya's hand to his face, unable to find the words to ask for comfort he 'asked' the only way he could.  Jiraiya sat on the edge of the bed stroking his face lightly as he fell asleep, he didn't feel so vulnerable, he felt safe knowing Jiraiya was near... it was a strange feeling, but a good one._

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

**END OF CHAPTER 13**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 13: I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME (RED)


	14. SO FAR AWAY (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 14)

**SO FAR AWAY (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 14)**

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

His Koishii was done with work for the day, Jiraiya smiled as Ibiki walked in, he had missed every small thing that he'd had with his beloved.  Just this, being here to greet Ibiki when he came home was special and cherished by him.  "Kakashi should wake soon, should I make something..."

 

Ibiki walked over and stroked his face, Jiraiya's thoughts were immediately drawn from cooking to more carnal things.

 

**"I am happy to see you Koishii."  Ibiki replied sincerely.  Although his own body was now quite aroused as well he only said, "I will cook, if Kakashi's not awake yet, I should be able to make something simple before he does."**

Jiraiya nodded and took a reluctant step back, but smiled. "Do you want help with anything?"

 

Ibiki shook his head, "I don't need help, but I'd love your company."

 

Jiraiya tried to quell his bodies demand for his Koishii's touch, but it was doomed to fail and he just accepted he would be aroused.  "Yes, I will come watch." 

 

**Ibiki's cock throbbed, but the discomfort was worth it for just that brief touch of his beloved.**

**They went into the kitchen and he made Udon noodles, miso soup and boiled endamame.  As the food completed cooking Ibiki turned to talk to Jiraiya, he could see longing and a hint of sadness in his eyes.**  

 

"I love watching you cook Koishii."  Jiraiya forced a playful smile, "Almost as much as I enjoy eating your wonderful cooking."  His gaze slipped over to the kitchen door, "Kakashi is awake, you should go sit with him, I will bring in the food."

 

**Ibiki nodded, "It should be ready now."  He paused, he wanted to eat with Jiraiya, but also be beside his Saiai.  After a moment he continued out the door to go sit with his partner.  When he entered the bedroom he smiled, Kakashi met his eyes, his own full of love as Ibiki walked over to kiss him tenderly.  Now that he had gotten some rest he looked less stressed.**

**Just as the day before Jiraiya brought their meal in.  "Ibiki cooked so I'm sure it's amazing."**

**After they ate, Jiraiya had returned and taken away the dishes, now Ibiki lay beside his beloved holding him and lightly caressing him until he finally slept.  Although it was late and he was tired Ibiki could not go to sleep until he saw Jiraiya, but when he walked out he saw his Koishii sleeping on the couch.  As he watched him his loved one's eyes opened and rose to meet his, Ibiki quietly sat.**

**Jiraiya slipped up to seated, "Is everything ok Koishii?"**

**Ibiki nodded silently then replied softly, "I just want to look at you."**

**Jiraiya's eyes were so loving, his touch so gentle... Ibiki was filled with shame as he spoke, "I can never apologize enough for all I've done to hurt you.  You are so precious to me... and I've hurt you so often."**

Jiraiya rose and took his hand drawing him up and enclosing him in his arms, "You have nothing to apologize for Koishii... nothing.  Please don't feel that you have." 

 

Ibiki sighed, his body grew aroused at the feel of Jiraiya's and he started to draw back.Jiraiya couldn't stop himself from clinging to him a moment, the feel of his beloved in his arms was so painful and so precious. 

 

**Ibiki looked in his Koishii's eyes, "Please let me kiss you."**

**Jiraiya gave a little smile, but it was full of sorrow. "You know it's not a good idea."**

**Ibiki nodded, "I know."**

**His beloved had not backed away or denied him and his lips met Jiraiya's in a light kiss.  Although both their bodies responded eagerly he did not try to deepen it only stroked over Jiraiya's back as he kissed him, then broke it and just held him.   "How did everything go so wrong Koishii?"**

**There were tears in Jiraiya's eyes as he drew back from their kiss, one trailed down his cheek and Ibiki tenderly brushed it away.  "Thank you for letting me hold you, for allowing me to kiss you.  I love you  Koishii... I wish I could find some way to make this all better."**

**Jiraiya replied softly, "I know."**

**Ibiki released him and stepped back, "I should go now."**  

 

Jiraiya nodded, he watched his beloved walk into his bedroom then sank back down on the couch.  His cock ached with denial and his heart with longing, he wanted Ibiki's love, to accept it and not be alone anymore... but he couldn't, his Koishii belonged with Kakashi, not him.

 

**Ibiki stripped and slipped on his sleep pants over his throbbing erection, then lay down.  He felt guilt, that had been yet another cruelty he'd commit on his loving Koishii... he should not have touched him.**

\-------------------------------------------------

 

Although not morning yet, Jiraiya woke, he was uneasy... something was 'wrong'.  He got up and walked over by the bedroom door, it was quickly clear what had woke him.  Ibiki had a nightmare, he could hear his rapid breathing as he tried to calm himself.

 

_Kakashi sat up in his bed, he was uneasy, some nights the nightmares were worse than others, this was one of the bad ones and he knew he could not go over to him to comfort him._

_Jiraiya quietly moved over to near Kakashi and spoke softly.  "When I was a child I thought crickets were some magical creature... they sang so loudly... they were so tiny, but they were able to sing loud enough I could hear them in my bedroom... it was like they were singing just for me... a special song to soothe me until I could sleep."_

_Kakashi looked up at him, then over at Ibiki, they both could hear his breathing had calmed and Jiraiya drifted quietly out of the room._

_He was stunned, Jiraiya had been able to comfort Ibiki... and himself as well.  The warm hearted man's quiet reminiscing had painted a beautiful peaceful picture._

_Kakashi looked over at the door again, then lay down, he never knew how to help his lover... but he wasn't sure if it was possible to do that.  His own childhood held very few good memories... just death._

_He could not remember his mother's face, his father's he only needed to look in the mirror.  That was why he'd first started wearing the mask, he didn't want to be someone he never knew, they never were close.  Then his father was gone, leaving him alone... alone until Ibiki._

_Kakashi tried to lock all those thoughts away once more and sleep, but it took a long time to finally fall back asleep._

\--------------------------------------- 

 

**As the first glow of the rising sun lightened the sky Ibiki woke and rose from his bed, it was clear his waking Kakashi during the night had disturbed his lover greatly and he had not slept well.  His Saiai remained asleep even as he dressed and walked out.**

**Ibiki looked over at the empty couch and at the same time he caught the scent of coffee.  He walked into the kitchen to see his Koishii bringing down two mugs and a tea cup, the tea kettle was simmering.  Jiraiya turned with the cups, smiled and poured him coffee.**

**Ibiki looked over at the tea kettle, "Kakashi has not woke yet.  I don't think he slept well after I woke him last night."**

**Jiraiya gave an understanding nod.  Ibiki fought his urge to touch him and just stood looking at him sincerely, "Thank you, for last night... it helps."**

**Jiraiya gave him a loving smile, "I'm glad."**

**Although they did not speak, they sat and drank their coffee in quiet contentment, just as they used to... it felt so right.**

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

Awhile after Ibiki left, Jiraiya heard the rustle of movement from the bedroom that indicated Kakashi was awake.  Jiraiya made him some tea and walked in to ask if he wished something to eat.  The gorgeous man looked over at him from near the bureau, bare except for a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, his skin still slightly damp from a shower. 

 

Jiraiya stopped and for a moment nearly backed up and left, before smiling and attempting to ignore the enticing sight.  "I brought you some tea." 

 

Kakashi's gaze slipped down to where Jiraiya's erection tented his pants and his cheeks colored but they lifted to meet his, "Thank you."  His blush had not faded but aside from that he did not look uncomfortable.

 

"Would you like something to eat?  I can make Congee."  Jiraiya offered.

  

Kakashi nodded, "I will come out to the table."

 

Jiraiya studied his face his skin color was normal and he didn't look tired but he knew he would not have much energy for at least another day.  "Ok.  Would you like shredded lotus root and gingko nuts?  I'm not sure what else we have..."

 

_"No... plain."  Kakashi watched Jiraiya, although he clearly desired him he did not show his interest in anyway except bodily with his erection.  What his eyes did hold was concern.  Kakashi found himself longing for the light caresses of his face that the experienced man had lulled him to sleep with the day before... this lead to thoughts about how Jiraiya had been able to comfort Ibiki._

_Jiraiya nodded and walked out with the tea, placing it on the table before walking into the kitchen._

_Kakashi dressed and walked out to the table, Jiraiya had placed a glass of juice beside his tea cup and he gratefully drank it.  When the Sannin sat across from him he spoke, it came a bit easier now.  "The story... last night.  You soothed Ibiki."_

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Talking about pleasant memories from your childhood..."  he paused at the look on Kakashi's face.  His eyes were dark and without joy, from that look Jiraiya knew he felt there was no happy things he could bring forward from his past.

 

_Jiraiya looked at him with understanding, when he spoke again it was not of the past but the future.  "Speaking of places you'd like to go together and things you'd like to do... a picnic by the river... they are calming.  He needs something pleasant to grasp as he tries to leave the horrors he suffered in the past."_

 

Kakashi nodded, he ate quietly and drank his tea but by the time his bowl was nearly empty he was looking very withdrawn and Jiraiya saw he was growing tired again.  "You should get a bit more rest."

 

The slender man rose, he drifted into the bedroom and Jiraiya followed, he was a bit concerned.  Ibiki's words about him not resting well after being woken and the hopeless look in his eyes as he had said to talk of pleasant things in his past.  It was very sad.

 

That was one of the things that brought moments of comfort for Jiraiya, thinking about the love and adoration of his parents... the 'adventures' of his childhood and the fanciful dreams he'd held.  Kakashi was more than tired, he was depressed, but Jiraiya doubted he even knew that he was feeling that or what could be done about it.  The reticent man slipped his shirt off and lay on the bed.

 

_Kakashi noticed that Jiraiya had followed him into the bedroom, possibly concerned he would need support... now laying in the bed, he looked up at him.  But it wasn't concern he saw in the other man's gaze, it was compassion_.

 

Jiraiya wasn't sure what to talk about to soothe him, stories of his childhood... or about things he'd done  beside Ibiki, would not ease his depression.  Finally he concluded verbal would not be the right approach.  "I wish to massage your back... will that be ok?"

 

_Kakashi nodded, a spike of anxiety swept through him as he rolled onto his stomach baring his vulnerable back, but the whisper light brush of Jiraiya's fingers on the top of his shoulder was  comforting and he quickly relaxed.  The calming touch slowly grew firmer and moved down to his back loosening the muscles.  He felt so secure, so sleepy, he closed his eyes and left the gentle strokes lull him to sleep_.

 

Jiraiya watched him a moment his breathing even in sleep and his face relaxed, softly murmured, "Beautiful Myobu." Then slipped out of the room leaving him to rest.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki felt a both guilty and happy as he walked in and saw his Koishii, it was almost like his beloved was living with him again.  Jiraiya handed him the glass of juice he'd been about to bring in to Kakashi.  "Kakashi rested well today, he's awake and I'm sure will be glad to see you."**

**Ibiki felt uneasy, Kakashi did not need Jiraiya now, tomorrow he could go back on mission status... would Jiraiya leave like he did the last time?**

 

Jiraiya saw his Koishii's anxiety and reassured, "I will not leave the village yet, but I should return to my own room."  He wanted to stay, to see Ibiki and Kakashi and know they were near... he was such a fool.

 

**Ibiki nodded, he wanted to ask for him to stay and eat with them, it would be leftovers so he wouldn't have to cook... maybe they could all eat at the table...**

**"Go see Kakashi, I will reheat yesterday's meal."  Jiraiya soothingly directed.**

**Ibiki was relieved his Koishii would stay to eat, he nodded and continued in to the bedroom and saw Kakashi sitting up in bed.  He smiled at his beloved and kissed him tenderly, "How are you feeling Saiai?"**  

 

_Kakashi snuggled into his lover. "I am well."_

_Ibiki gave him the juice, he drank it and handed back the glass.  His partner stroked his face lightly and asked, "Would you like to sit at the table to eat?"_

_Kakashi nodded and immediately rose, they walked out and found their cups were filled, as they sat Jiraiya brought their plates out and then his own before sitting and eating._

_Kakashi watched extraordinary man's hands a moment, then lifted to meet his eyes.  He remembered how incredible they had felt as he massaged him.  Jiraiya gave him a little, affectionate smile._

 

**Ibiki watched the exchange... his Saiai was relaxed, not guarding his emotions and he could see the two men had become a bit more comfortable around each other.  That was a good thing... right?  But it left him feeling excluded**.

 

Jiraiya was glad he'd decided to 'move back' to his room at the inn, his Koishii had watched them closely as he smiled at Kakashi and now he looked uneasy.  As soon as the meal was concluded, Jiraiya excused himself, "I'd really like to take a walk around the market before it closes."

 

When both men accepted the excuse he quickly left.  Ibiki was feeling threatened, he should not have been touching Kakashi... not even platonically, and he wasn't sure his affectionate strokes could even be considered platonic.

 

 -------------------------------

 

**After cleaning up they walked into the bedroom and he fought his urge to ask his Saiai to lay down and rest.  Ibiki knew Kakashi was now completely healed, by tomorrow he could go back on mission status, but the thought brought only anxiety.  This was the second time he'd almost lost him, and who knows how many times he'd been seriously injured before he knew his lover would not go to a healer.**

**What if Jiraiya had not been here.  It was likely his beloved would have died, as badly injured as he was likely that he'd have bled out before he could get back to Leaf...**

**It now occurred to him Jiraiya had never briefed him and Kakashi had not been able to submit a mission report.   His Saiai had brought back the Intel. they required about the enemy nin and what the Grass village was attempting and his ANBU had quietly removed the problem.  But he still did not know what happened on the mission and it was clearly something bad enough that neither man had wished to speak of it.**

**Kakashi looked over at him seriously, "Ibiki... why can't anyone love Jiraiya?  He said no one can... why?"**

**His Saiai's question broke him from his somber thoughts, his reply was full shame and sorrow.   Ibiki shook his head sadly and sat on the bed beside his lover, "I destroyed the last of his trust... he has lost everyone.  His family was slaughtered by Orochimaru, the last of his clan.  He needs someone he will not lose, someone to stay beside him forever, but no one has.  Everyone of us fools promised him we'd never leave him and everyone of us lied."**

**Kakashi shifted a bit closer to his side and stroked his hand in reassurance as he continued,  "I sent him away.  I promised I'd always love him and stay by his side, then sent him away... over a year of him being in terrible pain and I thought I could just go get him and make everything better.  But he cannot trust me or anyone anymore."**

 

_Kakashi nodded, he understood not being able to trust.  For so many years he'd lived in that cold place but now he had someone to trust Ibiki... and Jiraiya.  It was a strange but good feeling, a feeling of comfort and security he'd never imagined possible... but he'd taken Jiraiya's only security away and soon he would leave once more_.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

While walking through the market Jiraiya was surprised to see Tarento, almost as surprised as his former Angel was to see him before his gaze turned apologetic and he crossed the courtyard toward him.  Jiraiya wished he could feel relief as he saw him, his ex-lover was ok, but he felt like he'd just been given another weight to bear. 

 

As Tarento approached his gaze was guilty, "Please forgive me Jiraiya... I just... I'm sorry.  Can we be friends?"  Softly he begged,  "We always got along so well together, we had so many common interests.  I don't want to throw it all away."  his expression mournful he sighed.  "I'm going now.  I'll be in the village for a few weeks if you wish to talk."

 

The young man walked away and Jiraiya shook his head, he was just so tired of it all... his life was a tragic novel and the story never changed.  There was a slim chance he meant it... friends... on the other hand if Tarento's singing career flopped he'd be a wonderful actor.  Jiraiya somberly continued on his way back to his suite.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Only two days later Jiraiya gave in and went to talk to Tarento, it was a conversation that was more of a determined attempt at seduction by his former lover than any meaningful content.

 

"I have missed you so very much..."  Tarento's fingers feathered over Jiraiya's arm.  "I hope we can put what happened behind us, I really enjoy spending time with you."  His were lips parted slightly, his gaze inviting and his tongue touched his lips in a not very subtle reminder of his 'skills' in oral sex.  "Do you have time to come sit and talk with me?" 

 

Jiraiya honestly did not have anything to do and sitting watching the happy couples in the market area was very depressing. 

 

The lascivious man's hand now rested on his arm and he was leaning a bit closer than what could be considered merely friendly.  When Jiraiya didn't actively 'protest', only edged a bit further away, his seducer smiled.  His eyes were calculating for a moment then filled with desire.  "We could go eat... perhaps stop at one of the sweets booths, some yummy sticky sweet pastry sounds very good right now."

 

Yes, Jiraiya had no doubt his former Tenshi would like something, but it was not pastry and getting one would simply to be to try to tease him by sucking the sugar from his fingers.

 

Tarento's gaze slipped down to rest on Jiraiya's groin, studying the aroused state of his cock pointedly.  When it lifted he clearly meant something much more carnal when he said, "I could use something good..."

 

Yes, Jiraiya was aroused... it was something that his ex-lover had always been able to do without effort, excite his body, but even aroused he did not wish to touch him.  Still his alternative to spending time with his provocative ex-partner was to be alone with his thoughts, and even this was preferable to that.  "Yes, we can go to the restaurant district and eat mid-day meal."

 

\------------------------------------------

 

Once more they sat in a dimly lit restaurant, his former Angel doing his best to tempt him and talking about his favorite subject, himself.  Jiraiya wasn't even listening his thoughts were of Ibiki and Kakashi.  The way his Koishii's gaze grew intent now and he watched Kakashi every time Jiraiya spoke or looked at him... he'd made Ibiki very uncomfortable.

 

Jiraiya gave a small sigh, looked like even sitting with his egotist ex-boyfriend was not enough to distract him from his thoughts.

 

\------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi felt cold anger as he looked down at Jiraiya's former lover, he'd been watching him since the day he returned to the village, even when he was not near Jiraiya... but most of all, he watched his coy teasing and lustful looks he'd given Jiraiya since the day he'd first approached him._

_The man wanted him... just as before.  Even after the hateful things he'd said about Ibiki and Jiraiya last time... he'd considered following when he'd fled the village and killing him, now he wished he had._

_He knew Ibiki had not touched Jiraiya since he'd returned to the village very likely even longer than that but even while the large man's body remained aroused his eyes held no desire.  Jiraiya hadn't had sex with anyone... just been teased while he 'taught' him to have sex.  This vulgar man, his former lover, was offering him the pleasure he'd been denied... and that made Kakashi highly uneasy_.

 

\------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up as his Saiai walked into his office, it was his partner's 'day off' after a mission so this wasn't about work... he rose and embraced his beloved giving him a tender kiss.  He saw his lover looked conflicted, something was bothering him**.

 

_The thought of Ibiki and Jiraiya having sex was not concerning... it made him a bit uneasy but it felt wrong to tell them not to touch when they both were hurt so much by it... and when he could not deny sometimes he wished to feel the amazing_ _man's light soothing strokes.  He had told Jiraiya he could touch Ibiki but he had not, and he was now certain; he wanted Ibiki to touch Jiraiya_.

 

**Kakashi looked uncomfortable, his gaze dropped a moment but it was not embarrassment or reluctance to met his eyes, Ibiki could see he was confused and trying to find the words to express himself.  His Saiai's gaze rose to meet his and in his typical blunt manner he stated.  "I want Jiraiya to touch you... and you to touch him."**

**His beloved's words shocked him then brought a surge of anxiety, "Why Saiai?"**

**Kakashi replied cryptically, "He needs you to... and you need it too."**

**Ibiki enclosed him tenderly in his arms and placed soft kisses over his face, "I don't understand Saiai."**

**Kakashi stroked his cheek, "Please... just do."**

**Ibiki stroked his beloved's back, this was very important to his partner, why it was he was not sure but seeing the conviction in his lover's gaze he agreed, "I will touch him."  Ibiki did not say he would accept his Koishii's touch.  As greatly as he desired it, this was making him very uneasy... it was much too like what Jiraiya did when he encouraged him to date Kakashi**.

 

_Kakashi had caught the partial agreement and accepted it, his beloved was uneasy... he was not willing to promise to accept Jiraiya's touch although they all knew he wished to._

 

**Kakashi nuzzled Ibiki's throat earning a muted groan, "Saiai... you are so tempting."  He kissed him affectionately then released him, he could not leave, he had to return to work.  His lover stroked his face tenderly, then turned and left.**

**Only a brief time later, Ibiki studied the patrol report somberly, Jiraiya was spending time with his ex-boyfriend... he had no right to be jealous and yet he was.  Was this why Kakashi had wished him to start touching Jiraiya?  Was it because he knew he'd be jealous of Jiraiya's ex-lover spending time with him?**

**He was very jealous... and it was very wrong, he had no right to be 'upset' about the lecherous young man touching Jiraiya.  Jiraiya deserved love and affection... he greatly doubted Jiraiya's former lover could give him either of those things but at least he could give him pleasure and he should want someone to bring his Koishii pleasure... should want that, but didn't...**

 

\---------------------

 

When Jiraiya arrived for the evening meal Kakashi seemed almost distracted, his eyes resting on his hands, then face before shifting away.  Ibiki also seemed... distant...

 

This was the normal way things went when his lover's 'moved on', his former partner losing interest in him and putting distance between them, but it still hurt and Kakashi's enigmatic looks were a bit confusing.  

 

After their meal Jiraiya did not stay long, this all felt so strange and uncomfortable now.   He and Kakashi had seemed to be... getting closer, but now he was distant once more.  Perhaps this was the real problem, he'd caused conflict.  He'd become too 'friendly' with Kakashi, expressed his affection and caused his Koishii to distrust him and Kakashi to withdraw... both men felt threatened by his presence.

 

After their meal Jiraiya smiled and excused himself, "I must go now, I told a friend I would visit later tonight."

 

Ibiki simply nodded quietly, but for some reason Jiraiya's words brought a much more intense stare from Kakashi.  When he did not speak, Jiraiya quietly slipped out the door and walked down the road.  He just couldn't stay there, it was too awkward.

 

He felt wearily, there was no 'friend' he must visit and he felt like he did not belong anywhere... unwanted and unnecessary.  Tsunade and Shizune would be spending time together as they did every night and he would not intrude on their alone time.   As was becoming a every night occurrence now, Jiraiya didn't return to his room, he spent until the early hours of dawn walking the quiet village.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

**Their meals together now were full of tense silence, Ibiki wanted to ask Jiraiya... beg him, not to spend time with Tarento, but it was not his place to say anything... Jiraiya was not his partner anymore.**

**Also adding to the awkwardness, Kakashi was a bit more withdrawn lately and did not join in any attempt at conversation**.

 

_Kakashi watched Tarento touching Jiraiya, the hostility he felt was confusing.  Even when Jiraiya came to meals, his thoughts continued to return to 'visions' of the two of them together.  It all was very disturbing, and Ibiki still had not touched Jiraiya_...

 

\------------------------------------------------------------

 

Although it had only been a few days Jiraiya was growing tired of his former Angel's games.  Every time Jiraiya mentioned Ibiki even in passing Tarento would look away, finally he gave a woeful look.  "Can we please not talk of him, it hurts my feelings that I was so easily replaced... Jiraiya did you care for me at all?"

 

Jiraiya gave a weary sigh he knew his ex-lover was not truly hurt, it was all part of his attempt to 'win him back', he'd tried seduction now he was trying being 'vulnerable'.   Ibiki wasn't even the first since Tarento had walked away from him.

 

Jiraiya's tone held frustration, but no anger.  "Tarento please don't do this... I'm just so tired of the games.  Would it help to know you tore my heart out, that I couldn't bear to hear anyone sing... that I lay awake at night hurting so bad I could not cry... Does that help?"

 

"Oh Jiraiya!  I'm so sorry!"  Tarento gasped, tears springing to his eyes.

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "Don't, I don't want your apology or sympathy..." _or your false tears_. "Why did you come back here?"  He had to know it was dangerous, at very least Tsunade was likely to cause him severe injury if she saw him.  No sane person would accept a 'job offer' with that risk.

 

The tears easily disappeared, his sorrow gone like it never was... which was the truth, nothing mattered to the shallow man but himself.  How could he have loved him?  Had he been so blind that he'd fallen for every lie that he'd spouted?  Obviously so.

 

"I _couldn't_ pass up this performance, my fans were _desperate_ for me to return.  The club owner _begged_ me, the most talented singer he'd ever had, to come do some shows.  I heard you were gone... Tsunade wouldn't even know I was in the Leaf Village and even if she did she wouldn't care since you were gone." 

 

Jiraiya wanted to shake his head at the foolish man, Tsunade would have pounded him even if he was not here in the village.   Only his presence now and his request she not harm Tarento stayed her hand... it had been hard to convince her.

 

As for the other threat he was unaware of... Kakashi was very often in a tree observing the village, and Jiraiya had felt him watching them... it was likely he was the only reason the deadly Shinobi hadn't harmed the narcissistic  man yet.

 

This was so like the 'beginning of the end'... when Kakashi had admitted he loved Ibiki and had told him to leave with Tarento.  It was possible deep down he still wished it.  It would solve the 'problem' and Ibiki would be all his once more.  It would be the right thing to do.

 

\------------------------------

 

Another two days passed, the meal's with Ibiki and Kakashi were only growing increasingly more awkward now, it felt like both men were watching him for signs of 'interest' in their partner.

 

After another very uncomfortable meal, Jiraiya came to a conclusion.  Tarento still looked at him with longing and he knew he would not break his former boyfriend's heart since he was pretty sure Tarento only loved himself.  If he became 'involved' with him it would give Ibiki and Kakashi time to grow closer and take away the threat they felt from him.  He could not stay much longer, his desire to touch them both was growing stronger and he did not want his Koishii to grieve when he was gone.   Ibiki was aware something had changed between Jiraiya and Kakashi and he did not want either of them to feel 'threatened'.

 

"Will you come see me perform?"  Tarento licked his lip provocatively.

 

As greatly as he felt the urge to say no Jiraiya nodded.  Tarento gave a delighted smile, clearly he knew he'd 'won'.  "I must go soon to get ready for tonight... will you come by my suite about 18:00?" 

 

Jiraiya nodded only paying half attention to him, not that it mattered since his new 'companion' was now only raving about his favorite subject once more, himself. 

 

Before leaving to go get ready for his performance Tarento directed, "I will need your help with something... be sure to arrive at 18:00, I will be waiting for you."

 

Jiraiya nodded and agreed, "I will be there." 

 

Tarento leaned in and Jiraiya resisted his urge to move away, as his soon to be lover tried to kiss him he turned his head away slightly preventing it.  He didn't wish to kiss him, it felt like an even greater betrayal of his heart than having sex with him.  A kiss meant you cared, an expression of affection, this was just sex and nothing more.

 

Tarento didn't seem disturbed by the rejection and just purred, "I can't wait until I see you."  Then he turned and walked away towards his suite.

 

It felt so wrong that he'd agreed to meet him later, drop by his suite and 'help him with something'... it left Jiraiya feeling like a whore.  He shook his head and sighed, better he feel used than to use someone else, someone who wouldn't know he'd never love them.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi had often watched Jiraiya when not on patrol or a mission, the reappearance of the Sannin's former lover only greatly increased his desire to follow and watch him.  Every time Tarento touched Jiraiya it made him feel like striking the revolting man.  He was watching them once more and had seen  Jiraiya move his head away from his ex-lover when he'd tried to kiss him, and also heard Jiraiya's agreement to have sex with the lewd man._

_Tarento's attempt to kiss Jiraiya had brought a sharp spike of some unpleasant emotion and the thought of the man feeling Jiraiya inside him, giving him pleasure, made Kakashi feel extremely hostile_.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jiraiya was depressed and felt the urge to see his Koishii, he knew he should not... he was coming between Ibiki and Kakashi... a source of conflict and stress.

 

Even if it was not something he wished to do, becoming lovers with Tarento was the best thing he could do.  It should relieve both Ibiki and Kakashi, a reassurance that he did not intend on 'taking' their partner from them. 

 

Jiraiya gave in to his need to see his beloved, justifying it as it was the 'polite' thing to do, to tell Ibiki he could not come to the evenings meal tonight in person and not send a note.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up at his unexpected visitor, then rose and walked over to him.  "Koishii... Is everything ok?"**

**Jiraiya gave a little smile but it held no happiness.  "Yes, I just wanted to see you... I'm sorry I'm going to be busy tonight, I cannot come to evening meal tonight."**

**Ibiki reached out and stroked his hand, "I understand."**

**Jiraiya's eyes dropped to his hand and when he looked up they held longing,  Ibiki was reminded of his Saiai's words, _'He needs you to... and you need it too'_**.

**"Koishii..."  Ibiki stopped himself before he could ask his beloved not see Tarento, there was no doubt that was the reason he'd be busy.  "Will I see you tomorrow... will you come eat with us?"**

**Jiraiya smiled tenderly, "I will Koishii."**

**Ibiki nodded, even knowing he shouldn't he still stroked Jiraiya's face.  The flash of pain in his eyes at the touch  brought him such sorrow.  "I want you to be happy... but all I do is bring you pain."  His hand dropped.**

**Jiraiya gave a wan smile and backed away, "I should go."**

**As he turned to leave Ibiki said quietly, "You know I will always love you, that will never change."  Jiraiya had stopped, his head dipped and he gave a soft weary sigh, "I know Koishii."  Then he quietly continued out the door without looking back**. 

 

Now Jiraiya was even more disgusted by the knowledge that he was going to have sex with his ex-lover,  nothing felt right anymore.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Tarento yelped as he turned and saw the pale man behind him, for a moment he thought the ivory-haired man was a ghost he moved so quietly.  The chill it gave him when his unwelcome guest spoke made him wish it was a ghost! 

 

"You will stay away from Jiraiya... if I see you touch him again then he will be the last person you'll ever touch."  Just as quietly as he appeared the frightening Shinobi slipped back out his window and disappeared.

 

_It would have been better to kill him, but he'd given warning and that should be enough to put an end to Tarento's attempt to touch or kiss Jiraiya... he would not get pleasure from Jiraiya_.

 

Tarento sunk down on his bed, shaking, he was still there when he heard Jiraiya's light knock on his door.  He crossed and swung it open to look at Jiraiya with dismay and exclaimed, "What is wrong with you?!   Do you only like grotesque scarred monsters and psychopaths now?!  I guess that's fitting you perverted freak!  They are the only ones that will have you!"

 

Jiraiya shook his head, then just stood looking at him with pity.

 

Tarento began to get very uneasy, it was clearly not the reaction he'd expected.  "Why are you looking at me like that?!"

 

Jiraiya gave a sad smile, "I'm wondering who will get to you first... Tsunade or the man you labeled a psychopath... either way it's not likely I'll ever see you again." 

 

The color drained from the young man's face, Jiraiya turned and walked somberly away down the hall.  If by chance he survived it this time, which was unlikely, even Tarento wasn't stupid enough to ever come to the Leaf village again.

 

It was likely his former Angel had been threatened by Kakashi for calling Ibiki a 'scarred freak' the last time he was in the Leaf village.  It was understandable, and a warning was a much more gentle approach than simply relieving him of his life... but now it was very likely he'd signed his death certificate with his words.  Even if by some chance Kakashi had not heard them, the patrol definitely had with the way he'd yelled the insults and Tsunade would soon know.

 

Looks like he'd have time to go to see Ibiki and Kakashi for evening meal after all.  Jiraiya felt deep guilt at the flippancy of that thought, but to dwell on what he knew would happen would not change it, he needed to go see Tsunade. 

 

\-----------------------------------

 

When Jiraiya walked in his friend  looked up at him with a expression of deep relief, "I beg you rescue me!"

 

Jiraiya nodded, his expression one of humor until you looked into his weary eyes.  "Yes, I need a drink."

 

She knew it wasn't the alcohol he needed, he needed to talk, something was troubling even more than before.  "How's the 'Peacock'?"

 

Jiraiya smiled without humor. "That is one of the things I need to talk to you about."

 

Tsunade nodded, her mirth now quelled, "I need to talk to Shizune than we can go."

 

Jiraiya watched her walk out to the area Shizune had her desk, that was one of many signs of the damage he'd caused his close friend.  He'd robbed her of some of her playful nature by all that he'd put her through... nearly dying twice, abruptly leaving her so many times... listening to his never ending tales of woe.  Perhaps he shouldn't tell her about this latest chapter in the tragic novel of his life... no, she'd hear soon enough, it was best she hear it from him.

 

Jiraiya glanced out at the two women, behind the cover of Shizune's desk she was holding and rubbing Tsunade's hand.  She nodded seriously, then Tsunade slipped her hand from her lover's and returned to announce flippantly,  "I'm ready, let the revelry begin."  But it was clear she knew this was not some casual escape to go drinking... in fact he'd seen her do that far less since all the stress he'd been causing her. 

 

They were not in the mood to walk, they made the hand signs and appeared outside of Shushuya's.  When they walked in, they were immediately shown to a private room and by the time they'd comfortably sat the hostess had returned with the restaurant's custom sake and two cups.  Jiraiya smiled in gratitude, they truly made the best sake he'd tasted anywhere and he'd traveled extensively...  this thought brought a surge of weariness.  Yes, he'd been so many places because no one wanted him for longer than a brief time, he was a throw away.

 

Tsunade interrupted his downwardly spiraling thoughts, "So spill it, what did the 'Peacock' do now?"

 

Jiraiya sipped on his sake, then replied. "Let me start out with this, by the time we leave I'm sure there will not be a problem anymore."

 

Her jaw tightened and her eyes glittered in anger, only her slightly stiff reply showed how very angry she was quickly becoming.  "Something that good, hmm?" 

 

Jiraiya patted her hand, "It's taken care of.  Tarento... spoke harshly about Ibiki and myself again... as well as Kakashi, rather loudly.  It seems Kakashi had shown up before I arrived at Torento's suite and warned him not to speak badly of Ibiki, he did not heed that warning and at this moment I'm fairly sure he's been...  Well, Kakashi will have made sure nothing will ever be said by him again, to me or anyone."

 

"Good!"  She asserted, but saw the pain in his eyes and her expression softened.  "Jiraiya you are too gentle, you let others tear out your heart... it's not right, you deserve better."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he'd heard her say that so many times... sadly she was the only one who felt that way, until Ibiki, but then he'd lost that too.

 

"How are Ibiki and Kakashi?"  She asked cautiously.

 

Jiraiya sipped on his drink and thought on his reply for a few minutes.  "They are well.  I believe they are nearing a time when they will not wish for me to be around."

 

Tsunade shook her head and looked away with a quiet sigh, "I will not ask for you to stay, for once you need to think about what's best for you... I really thought... I hoped that there was a solution."

 

They remained quietly drinking for a while, the sake relaxing them enough to easily speak of things that were too difficult to face sober.  "So Ibiki is past his fear of hurting Kakashi?"

 

Jiraiya hadn't gave her any details, only a vague summary of the problem he'd been trying to help them past.  "Yes... I think Ibiki has gotten past his fear of hurting him... and Kakashi..."  Jiraiya shifted slightly in his seat, he knew his friend was well aware he was now a bit aroused.  "He doesn't need my help any longer."

 

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow, alcohol blurring the lines between 'proper' and asking the questions that now came to mind.  "Helping him... you mean actually..."

 

Jiraiya didn't reply, but then he didn't have to she could read him like a book, she always had been able to.  He didn't mind, they'd talked about everything as they grew up together, no subject had ever been taboo and it was still that way.

 

"Oh Jiraiya... why couldn't you be a woman?"  She was only half joking.

 

This startled a loud laugh from him then he corrected, "Even if I had been, we were never meant to be anything more than close friends."

 

Tsunade shook her head. "Family... Jiraiya you have and always will be part of my family."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "And you mine."  He would never forget the devastation on her face when she met him and tried to convince him not to go see what Orochimaru had done to the last of his family... she hurt as greatly as he did, over the years they had shared so much pain.  "You are one of the most important people in my life, I would do almost anything for you... the idea of not seeing you again hurts as much as knowing I'll never see Ibiki and Kakashi again."

 

Tsunade just quietly studied his face, then replied somberly, "You care about Kakashi... does he know?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Yes, he knows I care, but I think I may be starting to love him.  Ibiki suspects I care a bit too much about him, it's one of the reasons it's important that I leave soon... now both Ibiki and Kakashi worry about me taking their partner."

 

Tsunade sipped on her drink, she looked deep in thought.  "So what you going to do tonight?"

 

Jiraiya answered a bit grimly, "Well, my plans have changed now, I suppose I'll go have evening meal with Ibiki and Kakashi."

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

**When Ibiki saw Jiraiya waiting outside the ANBU building to walk home with him his heart filled with joy... then concern, he had just read a patrol report and the 'news' was going to upset his Koishii.**

**Tarento had failed to show up for his performance... once again he was gone, only this time there was no report of him walking out the gate.  Jiraiya was going to be very upset, he'd been spending a lot of time with his ex-lover and he knew it was very likely they were 'intimate' once again.**

**Ibiki walked up and only resisted touching his beloved through a conscious effort not to.  "Jiraiya, Tarento..."**

**Jiraiya nodded his gaze accepting, "He's missing."**

**Ibiki replied, "Yes."  He wasn't sure how his Koishii had known.  He knew Jiraiya had not killed him, his gentle beloved would not harm one of his 'Angels'.**

**Jiraiya gave a soft sigh, "He did not learn from last time, his words earlier today guaranteed he would not be around to make the mistake a third time."**

**Ibiki looked seriously at him, he remembered the look on Jiraiya's face after he'd caught the would-be robber when they'd lived together.  Now he was very uneasy, maybe he had killed him.  "What did he say?"**

**Jiraiya shook his head and stroked his cheek, he was not willing to say.  As he was about to drop his hand Ibiki caught it and held it, "What did he say**?"

 

Jiraiya studied his Koishii's eyes his beloved truly wished to know, it was distressing him.  "Something cruel... about you."

 

Ibiki looked grim as he met his eyes, he spoke quietly.  "Where is he?"

 

Jiraiya's eyes widened in shock and he felt like laughing.  Ibiki thought he killed him!  His amusement immediately vanished and he shook his head, "Not me."

 

**Ibiki did not need to ask, he knew, and he also knew no one would find the body.  He nodded, his Saiai was ANBU, this was not too 'unexpected'.  Things were often a bit... 'different' when it came to his ANBU, they lived with killing and held no reservation about doing so.**

**It was done, the body would not be found and there was no use dwelling on it.  Ibiki stroked his compassionate Koishii's hand with his thumb, "Are you ok?"  Jiraiya nodded, his eyes held regret but also understanding**. 

 

Ibiki's concern was very sweet, but he'd had time to think and accept it.  He lived in reality, this was the way it went for those who held no respect for others.  Even if he'd guarded him, he would have been killed, if not now than the next moment he was away from Tarento's  side.  His former Tenshi had condemned himself, even after being warned by Kakashi.

 

\---------------------------------

 

**The two men walked quietly to the house and as they entered Kakashi looked over.  Ibiki knew he'd done it just by the look he gave them as they walked in.  His gaze rested on Jiraiya a moment, then he met Ibiki's eyes, walked over and greeted him with a passionate kiss**. 

 

_When Ibiki walked into the kitchen to cook .  Kakashi and Jiraiya quietly joined him, he was sure Jiraiya knew he'd killed Tarento, but he did not look angry or accusatory._

_Acceptance... his eyes held the acceptance that Kakashi was coming to depend on.  It had not occurred to him that it may make Jiraiya upset ... angry at him that he'd killed his soon to be lover._

_The thought of the big gentle man being upset was disturbing but he wasn't sure it would have made any difference... it was necessary to kill Tarento, he simply eliminated the 'threat'.  His eyes drifted down Jiraiya's body then rose, his thoughts carefully concealed.  He could not live after insulting Ibiki and Jiraiya again... and there would be no more attempting to 'get pleasure' from Jiraiya_.

 

After watching Kakashi a few minutes Jiraiya got the distinct impression that he had been worried he'd upset him.  But if the skilled ANBU had not killed Tarento, he'd have had to find some way to handle it very quickly, the results of his cruel words were inevitable and he couldn't allow Tsunade to get in trouble for severely injuring or killing him.  He had no idea how he'd have solved the dilemma, but he'd have had to find a way.  Maybe Ibiki wasn't too far off track by thinking he'd kill Tarento.  To protect Tsunade it was possible he could have. 

 

It was no longer something he'd need to try to solve... he had cared strongly for his former Angel, even if he did now see the self-centered person he was.  But since he'd met Ibiki, he'd learned what it felt like to truly love someone, it was a powerful feeling... one that would cause you to do drastic things to protect them.

 

The meal was quiet, but not tense like it had been and Kakashi was almost 'outspoken', his replies no longer just a monosyllable.  His eyes were not flat and unemotional, they remained guarded but now a bit more relaxed.  It was clear Tarento had been disturbing him and now he was relieved.  Ibiki also seemed much more relaxed, it was possible he'd found Tarento's return upsetting as well. 

 

The evening was one of the most pleasant they'd had in a while, Jiraiya's walk back to his room after was one filled with thoughts of many of his other Angels.  How many of them had been 'different' than who he'd saw them as when he'd been in a relationship with them...?  Well, in the end it did not matter, no others would 'come looking' for him.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

But the following day he was shown his past Angels did not have to 'come looking'. 

 

Jiraiya saw movement in the slight shadow of a building as he walked through the outskirts of the village, then heard a very familiar sound of weeping.  He turned and walked over to the young man, "Mikomi, what is wrong?" 

 

Mikomi looked up at the tender tone then away, "I'm ok..."

 

Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, "You are not ok, would you like to talk?  Tell me what happened?"

 

Mikomi's cheeks heated and his voice was a whisper, full of shame.  "Karma."  His eyes slipped over to look at a young man who was walking away as Jiraiya had approached, then dropped once more.

 

Jiraiya's eyes slipped over to the man he recognized as Mikomi's 'current' boyfriend who now was walking away holding his new partner's hand.  Then his gaze returned to Mikomi. "I see.  I'm sorry."

 

Mikomi would not look up, "Why would you be sorry... I did that to you... made you feel like this."

 

Jiraiya tenderly replied, "I would not wish you to be hurt, I am sorry it happened.  Would you like to walk with me?" 

 

Mikomi's gaze slipped over to where his former lover had disappeared into the busier area of the market, then dropped.  "I don't think so... I think I need to be alone."

 

Jiraiya soothed, "I understand."

 

Mikomi's gaze slipped up to meet his, "Can I have you walk with me until I get home?"

 

Jiraiya smiled reassuringly, "Yes."

 

The two men walked quietly for several minutes then Mikomi looked over. "I'm sorry I hurt you..." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, but replied, "It's ok, you did what you had to do at the time." 

 

The despondent man's eyes dropped, "I was a fool."

 

Jiraiya studied his heartbroken ex-lover, "Things will get better."

 

"I'm glad you found someone, someone to be happy with and are not alone." There was a hint of hope in Mikomi's words, the thought that just like Jiraiya he could find true love.

 

Jiraiya didn't have a reply for that, it would only dash that glimmer of hope.  He had found love, but he'd 'lost' him, just as he'd lost every other person before Ibiki. 

 

At Jiraiya's silence Mikomi looked up and distress swept over his features, "You didn't... did you? "  Tears sprang to his eyes and he dropped his eyes again.  "He had seemed like he loved you... I'm sorry."

 

Jiraiya forced a smile, he was not a good example of things working out, "Things happen for a reason, there will be someone in your future that will love you forever, someone who you will love absolutely.  In time things will get better." 

 

Mikomi shook his head but said nothing, even with his eyes on the road it was not hard to see he didn't believe him.  They continued in silence until they reached Mikomi's building.  He looked up, his eyes dark with sorrow.  "Thank you Jiraiya.  I hope someday you get the person you deserve, someone to love you forever."

 

Jiraiya gave another forced smile, "Go rest, things will get better."

 

Mikomi nodded and walked into the building.  Jiraiya continued towards his own room now deeply depressed.  He had been so happy back then... now he missed everything about his Koishii.  In his case, Mikomi was right, it was a pain that would never get better.

 ===================

END OF CHAPTER 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 14: SO FAR AWAY (RED)


	15. ON MY OWN (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 15)

**ON MY OWN (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 15)**

 

\-----------------------------

 

_Kakashi watched Jiraiya and his former lover, but this one did not look with desire at him.  The man's eyes were sad and hopeless... so many times he'd seen his beloved and Jiraiya look like that._

_As Jiraiya walked back towards his own room at the inn Kakashi saw that sorrow again... it made him wish to touch his cheek like Jiraiya had done to comfort him. The kind compassionate man looked over at him and when he walked into his building Kakashi slipped into the building behind him._

_Jiraiya did not seem surprised, but then he was sure the Sannin always knew when he was near.   Jiraiya turned towards him, his eyes concerned.  "I want you to take something", he gave Kakashi a small strip of parchment.  "Keep it close, against your skin, when you are on a mission."_

_He looked from the piece of parchment to Jiraiya, waiting for his explanation_. 

 

Jiraiya had got Gamabuta's 'permission' to allow a one-time summoning for Gamaken upon activation by blood.  He would transport Kakashi to him when summoned. 

 

Jiraiya felt a bit guilty, but he hadn't figured out a way to send him to Tsunade or Ibiki, and Kakashi's own nin hound were not strong enough to transport him a long distance.  With this scroll he would not need to actively summon or even use hand signs... it was activated by any large amount of Kakashi's blood.  He would get him to medical care no matter what he had to do, he would not let him die. 

 

"Please... it will bring you to me if activated by your blood."  Jiraiya explained, although he was afraid Kakashi would take it wrong.  He worried that the skilled ANBU would think he didn't believe he was strong enough to take care of himself, but the fact was he took the most dangerous missions and Jiraiya never wanted to think of him dying ever again.  No matter where he was Gamaken would have no trouble 'finding' him and would appear before him with Kakashi.

 

Kakashi nodded and brushed his fingers over Jiraiya's cheek, "It will be on me for every mission."  Then he turned and walked away.  Jiraiya was stunned by the soft stroke, he'd touched him with affection!  That was not 'good',  he must leave very soon, Ibiki's partner couldn't develop feelings for him... but he could not deny that it had felt wonderful, for that moment he had the comfort of someone caring.

 

_Kakashi went to the ANBU building a bit early, he had a mission tonight, but he needed to feel his beloved's arms right now_.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up as Kakashi walked in and rose to meet the slender man, enclosing him tenderly in his arms.  His lover's posture held sadness, something only he could have read after having lived beside him for so long.  "Is everything ok Saiai?"**

**Kakashi nodded, his body molded to Ibiki's, and his hand grazed down his torso and feathered over Ibiki's prominent erection.  Although his beloved knew he was aroused, he did not expect him to do anything about it, Ibiki accepted the touch and found pleasure in it even as his cock throbbed.  "Saiai... so tempting."**

**Kakashi cupped his cheek and stroked it so like Jiraiya always had and it sent a spike of sorrow through Ibiki that he tried to conceal, but his partner had seen it**. 

 

" _Touch him, accept his touch... he needs it very much, you both do."  He wanted to see happiness on Jiraiya's face... not the sorrow that never left it now._

_Kakashi nuzzled into the side of his lover's throat, "I love you."_

_Ibiki gently kissed his brow, "I love you Saiai, please be careful."_

_Kakashi nodded, drew back and went to prepare for his mission.  Although another courier type mission, this was one that it was vital the scroll not fall into enemy hands.  It was unlikely there would be trouble, but he would be cautious and Jiraiya's 'scroll' would be on his chest for this and all missions, just as he'd promised_.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi was on a mission and Jiraiya knew he should not, but when Ibiki quietly asked, "Will you come eat evening meal with me."  he'd still agreed... walking beside his Koishii brought memories of doing it so many times before, and the way they'd often immediately had sex as soon as they'd arrived... eager to touch the other's body... Jiraiya hardened at the memory and chastised himself for his thoughts.

 

As they walked in the door Ibiki looked down at where Jiraiya's erection strained against the confinement of his pants, "I want to touch you."

 

Jiraiya was surprised, then uneasy, and protest.  "I don't..." _think that is a good idea_.  Kakashi had said he wished him to touch Ibiki but...

 

"Please Jiraiya." Ibiki asked softly.  It troubled Jiraiya deeply when his Koishii would 'plead',  he deserved anything he asked for, he was so very precious and deserved happiness.

 

Reluctantly he nodded, Ibiki freed his cock and Jiraiya whimpered at the feel of him, his beloved's touch on the swollen flesh felt so wonderful... and was so wrong, but he did not stop him. 

 

**Ibiki stroked his turgid length, his thumb brushing over the tender head.  Listening to Jiraiya's low pleading mews as he slowly caressed his cock and watching the ecstasy on his beloved's face.**

 

Jiraiya could not resist, his restraint severed by the touch of the man he desired so strongly. "Koishii, can I touch you?" 

 

Ibiki nodded and Jiraiya freed his beloved's erection cupping it against his and his fingers interlacing with Ibiki's as they stroked their cocks...

 

**Ibiki moaned loudly the pleasure so much stronger at the knowledge it was Jiraiya's arousal rubbing against his, his Koishii's hand caressing his engorged length.  They rapidly escalated towards their climax urgently fucking their hands and crying out at the feel their lover's cock rubbing against theirs.**

 

Jiraiya gasped loudly and cried out as he came, nearly sobbing in ecstasy at the first release he'd had in months, his rapture bringing his beloved's climax seconds later.  Ibiki tenderly held him as their bodies calmed.

 

Jiraiya was worried, it was more than just the guilt about having touched Ibiki intimately, it was what his Koishii had choose to do that was concerning.  Ibiki had touched his erection, even before excited to the point it would not distress him. "Why did you wish to touch me like that?  Please don't do things that cause you distress."

 

Ibiki replied seriously, "It did not distress me.  I need to touch you so greatly it no longer matters if it's your cock or any part of you.  I want every part of you, need to feel you... to hear your cries and know it's me you are wanting." 

 

Jiraiya stroked his face, "Always Koishii, I always want you... but it's wrong, it will hurt Kakashi."

 

Ibiki met his eyes with a somber gaze, "I'm not sure why, but he wants me to touch you... It makes me uneasy that he wishes it because I worry he's trying to walk away."

 

Jiraiya shook his head and soothed, "No Koishii, no he will not walk away, he loves you so very much..."

 

Ibiki's gaze said what he did not, Jiraiya loved him greatly and he'd still left, Kakashi could do the same.  Once more Jiraiya reassured, "No, I promise Koishii, he will not leave."

 

**Ibiki nodded, he hoped Jiraiya was right.  It was karma that it was now him that had to worry about his lovers leaving him... just as he and so many others had done to Jiraiya.  "Shower with me Koishii, please, let me feel you in my arms."**

 

Jiraiya felt a powerful longing and nodded, as they walked into the bathroom, he tried to memorize every moment, every touch... even though he felt guilt, he hadn't felt so happy in a very long time.  Ibiki stripped and Jiraiya gave a soft whimper, his body responding to the sight of his Koishii's sexy body. 

 

Ibiki's eyes darkened in lust as he watched him remove his clothes.  Jiraiya was extremely aroused again. 

 

Kakashi wanted them to touch, he'd told Ibiki as well as him.  Jiraiya embraced that excuse and gave in to all he'd desired for so long.  He was now 'free' of his fear he'd frighten his beloved and have him send him away.  It would best if he did, that way his Koishii would be ready to let him go... Jiraiya wrapped his arms around his lover, caressing him urgently as he hungrily kissed him.

 

**Ibiki was a bit startled by Jiraiya's embrace... it wasn't that he was touching anywhere he hadn't before, but the hesitation was gone, his passion intense and still he did not push at any restrictions... but Ibiki was becoming very certain he wished him to... even more so now than before.**

 

Jiraiya wanted to give him pleasure so greatly, to hear his fevered cries of passion.  He broke their kiss and placed loving kisses over his beloved's face before kissing his way up to Ibiki's ear.  "Koishii I want you, I want to feel your cock thrusting into me... to feel your touch driving me wild with lust."

 

Jiraiya remembered that it had aroused his Koishii when he'd done it in the kitchen, and now teased him further by kissing the shell of his ear, Ibiki moaned and gave a wanton buck against him. 

 

**His beloved's husky purr was so tempting that Ibiki's cock now pounded with strong need once more, but could not make himself move away from the incredible pleasure even long enough to draw his lover  into the bedroom.**

 

Jiraiya traced the rim of his ear with his tongue, he heard his Koishii's breathing speed and felt his shiver of pleasure.  Jiraiya drew back a bit and brought his lover's finger up to his mouth sucking on the tip.  "On second thought I wish to taste you first."

 

**Although his behavior was much more bold his amazing lover still waited for the permission to do it.  Ibiki was too aroused to reply and just nodded, he wanted him so very much!  Jiraiya gave a pleased little smile, his eyes filled with passion as he sank down to before him and teasingly feathered his fingers over the rigid flesh earning a muted whimper.  Then a loud cry of shocked delight as the ecstasy of his beloved's mouth was added to the overwhelming pleasure of his touch, drawing and bobbing, tempting him with light brushes of his tongue that made his cock strain eagerly for more.**

**The tease continued to grow, his lover always stopping just short of the point of orgasm until Ibiki was breathlessly crying out in ecstasy then took him over the edge.  He howled in rapture his cock bucking hard several times as his body was teased to sated.**

**But the temptation did not end, Jiraiya released the gratified flesh and gently rolled his balls as he flicked his tongue over the head of his cock and caressed the scars on his pelvis... it was stunning how easily he aroused him even after such a strong orgasm.**

**Jiraiya's hand slipped down and caressed his erection as his lips moved over the sensitive skin of his pelvis, slowly up, his tongue tracing the tender scars as he worked his way up slowly to his chest then teased his nipple with gentle draws and flicks that brought yearning whimpers from him.  When his lover's lips reached his throat Ibiki gasped, "Please!"  His Koishii's tease had left his body aching for him.**

**Jiraiya stepped back and took his hand drawing him, into the bedroom.  Ibiki eagerly gazed on the body he'd desired to feel against his for months.   "I need you!"**

**Jiraiya purred back, "I _want_ you!"  **

**Then his Koishii lay back on the bed urging Ibiki down to cover him and crying out in delight as his cock quickly sank into his body.  His skilled lover immediately started to rock on the swollen length giving lusty cries of pleasure.  Although his Koishii's hands remained light on his back they brushed seductive soft chakra strokes over the sensitive scar tissue driving rapturous wails of pleasure from him.  If his lover hadn't already sated him he'd never have been able to resist cumming, the sounds Jiraiya was making!  They were nearly enough to make him cum on  their own, and combined with the sensual writhe of his Koishii beneath him it was painful rapture to resist his need to cum.  He did not wish to give this up!**

**Ibiki rose to his knees drawing his lover's hips up and wrapped his hand around his beloved's erection.  He stroked and circled his thumb over the head until Jiraiya was arched up wailing in pleasure and his cock jumped as he came.  Ibiki groaned his body demanding release as the powerful muscles of his lover drew on him.**

**His hand continued teasing his beloved's cock and he felt the shift of Jiraiya's hips as he thrust, his rigid length guided to his lover's pleasure spot.  Jiraiya wailed in rapture his cock giving another buck and his passage contracting so powerfully Ibiki could not hold back and moaned in ecstasy as he gave in and climaxed.**

**The pleasure so much more than his orgasm, it was knowing he was buried within his Koishii's body... it brought just as great of gratification as his climax.  He let his lover's legs down covering him and placing passionate kisses over his beloved's throat.**

**"Mmm..." Jiraiya crooned, "You are so sexy Koishii... that feels so good!"**

**Ibiki cupped his face and kissed him, "You are amazing!  Incredible!"**

**Jiraiya gave a soft laugh,  "I'm glad you liked it!"  Although said in a playful tone his eyes lent sincerity to his words, he truly was glad he'd enjoyed it.**

**As they calmed Ibiki continued placing adoring kisses over his beloved's face and throat,  "I am so very blessed to have your love, I don't ever want to lose you..."**

**Although the love remained, the joy left Jiraiya's eyes, "I suppose we should shower... when will Kakashi return?"**

 

He could not stay, this was wrong, he should not have allowed this to happen... allowed?  No, not allowed, encouraged... Ibiki was with his life partner now.  They would be very happy together and his remaining in the village was unfair to Kakashi.

 

**"Late tonight."  Ibiki continued to place tender loving kisses over his chest, throat and face.  He'd so desperately wished to touch him for so long and he could not get enough of the feel of his beloved.**

 

Jiraiya knew he should get up he could not stay here like he 'belonged' this was not his place anymore, Ibiki was not his lover... He forced a smile and tried to keep the building sorrow out of his voice.  "We should shower now."

 

**Ibiki was very aware Jiraiya was now very uneasy.  Doing this... having sex with him without the ability to give him a future or stability was using him.  He had nothing to offer, his love was not enough when his beloved would always be placed on the 'outside'.**

**This was not a relationship, no matter how greatly he wished to give him that and to be everything he needed, he couldn't.  This was just another cruelty he'd commit on his Koishii and he couldn't even lie and tell himself he'd done it for Jiraiya.  He had not, yes he wanted to give his beloved pleasure, but it was his desire that had lead to this.  His extraordinary Koishii had still not wished to touch him.**

 

Jiraiya could see the sorrow build in his lover's eyes like a poison that spread from him to his beloved.   "Koishii, please don't be sad.  Everything will..."  Jiraiya's words faltered, he could not say it... it was a lie, everything was not going to 'be ok'.

 

**Ibiki felt such deep sorrow, how could everything be so wrong?  How could they love each other so strongly and be unable to 'fix everything'... in the end it was his fault, he'd fallen in love with Kakashi when he'd already had an exceptional partner.**

 

Jiraiya placed tender kisses over his face, "Shhh... don't be sad.  Please Koishii, I love you so much..."

 

Ibiki shook his head, "I know... I wish you didn't.  I wished you hated me for all I've done, all I'm still doing.  I would gladly bear the pain of your hatred and be happy because you were no longer being hurt by me."

 

Jiraiya embraced him, "Shhh... you have not done anything wrong.  This is not something you are doing to hurt me, it just happened like this, all we can do it take things day by day and hope to find a solution somehow." 

 

Jiraiya drew a deep breath and released it in a sigh, he needed to follow his own advice just handle it day by day and hope to find a way to end his Koishii's love for him and allow him to go on and be happy with his partner. 

 

"Let's shower, then you can make me one of your outstanding meals and we'll eat... Ok?"  Jiraiya stroked his face.  "Please don't be sad anymore."

 

Ibiki nodded but sorrow still lingered in his eyes, just as Jiraiya knew it remained in his own.

 

Ibiki lightly stroked his body. "Can I still touch you Koishii?  I know you hadn't wanted this to happen."

 

In spite of his lingering sorrow, genuine amusement rose at his beloved's words, Jiraiya gave a little smile as he corrected.  "Not want it?  Oh, I assure you I wanted it very much... and if we don't get up soon I'll likely show you how much I 'want it'." 

 

Jiraiya was only half teasing, even through the guilt and sadness the feel of his lover's body against his was beginning to tempt certain parts of him and they were more than eager to continue.

 

Ibiki kissed him deeply, "My wonderful Koishii... yes, we'd better get up and shower before I decide cooking is not as fun as staying here and we starve."

 

Ibiki rose up off of him and Jiraiya got up to shower with his beloved... even this felt so exquisite, just going to shower with him like he always had before. 

 

Once in the shower, Ibiki lathered his hands, stroking over Jiraiya's chest then back and down to his ass. Jiraiya groaned softly, "Koishii your touch feels so good!"

 

Ibiki cupped him from behind his hands paused a moment then lightly caressed down over Jiraiya's pelvis.  His Koishii may desire to touch him so greatly that he wanted to even touch him there, but there was still a slight hesitation.  Jiraiya covered his hand and stilled it, "Do only what you wish."

 

Ibiki placed a kiss on the back of his neck, "I wish this... I wish to touch you freely and feel your touch without fear and I want to keep trying to get that."

 

Jiraiya's hand fell away and he leaned into Ibiki's solid frame, his body molded to his beloved's and the feel of his Koishii's powerful muscles flexing with his every movement teased him further. 

 

**Jiraiya's soft cries of pleasure swept his reluctance away and he wrapped his hand around his lover's engorged length stroking slowly and feeling his breath catch... his thigh muscles jumping as his body reacted to the pleasure of his touch.  Ibiki tried to stay focused, to 'feel' the sensation of touching him, focus on his beloved's arousal and associate the cries of rapture with the feel of his cock in his hand.  He wanted to find delight in every touch he was allowed.  "Koishii... I love you so much... need to touch you, every part of you."**

 

Jiraiya began bucking gently into his lover's strokes, it did not cause him to draw away so he continued and was delighted to feel his beloved's other hand cupping and stroking his balls.  He panted ,"Ah Koishii!  Your touch feels so wonderful!"  Then gave a rapturous cry as he climaxed.  Ibiki kissed his back and neck passionately, holding him close.  

 

Jiraiya felt his lover's hands stroking over him molding him back into his body and gave a blissful sigh, even knowing this was wrong it felt so right.  He would not give in to his doubts and guilt, there was plenty of time for that when he was alone and he would not cause his Koishii sorrow.

 

Jiraiya gently teased, "I don't think this is getting me clean... perhaps I should wash myself."

 

Ibiki gave a soft laugh and tenderly kissed the side of his neck.  "Yes, that may be for the best." 

 

\-------------------

 

Once they completed their shower they dressed and they went to the kitchen, Jiraiya hesitated before sitting on the stool, this was not his place... no he would not dwell on that now, but he needed to talk with Kakashi about why he wished them to touch.

 

The meal went well and it was so perfect... like it had once been, quietly eating beside each other, then cleaning up and washing dishes together.  Jiraiya was thankful that afterwards Ibiki did not ask him to stay for the night, it would have been very hard to resist it, but after he was back in his room at the inn his memories haunted him. 

 

Tonight had been a very 'terrible' reminder of all he'd lost, inside he cried at the pain of it and chastised himself for living in the fantasy again even for that brief time.  That wasn't his life anymore.

 

He was exhausted by early morning and finally slept, when he woke it was after the time when he knew Ibiki would be at work, but Kakashi would be at the house and they needed to talk.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Kakashi opened the door his face expressionless but he stepped aside and gestured for Jiraiya to enter.  As he closed the door his reservation slowly melted and Jiraiya could see a hint of curiosity mixed into his unease.  He knew Kakashi still was not completely comfortable with 'unexpected things' and his arrival was definitely unexpected.  He decided to get immediately to the reason he'd come, then he could leave and the reclusive man could relax once more. 

 

_Jiraiya had stopped after entering, like he felt he was intruding, and now looked sincerely in his eyes. "I'm worried about you wishing Ibiki to touch me.  He is worried too.  Why would you wish for us to touch, to have sex..."_

_Kakashi remained quiet for a moment longer he was very uncertain how to express the things he felt and to clearly answer why he wished it... in the end he simply said, "You both need it.  I don't want him to hurt... or you either."_

_Jiraiya lightly stroked his face, his gaze full of tender affection. "You are very kind, but this is not fair to you."_

_Kakashi was finding it difficult to concentrate on Jiraiya's words, the urge to lean into his gentle caress making them not matter... he wanted..._

_Kakashi softly asked, "You've never kissed me.  Please kiss me."_

 

Jiraiya was surprised by his words, but the way he was pressing into his touch, a look of longing on his face.  He very much wished to kiss him and against his better judgment he did as Kakashi asked.

 

_Jiraiya brushed his lips lightly over his and Kakashi gave a soft gasp at the surge of pleasure he felt.  Then Jiraiya kissed him a bit firmer, his lips covering Kakashi's and skillfully kissing him.  When Jiraiya drew back Kakashi stood stunned, his eyes rested on Jiraiya's mouth his finger traced his lips then lifted to meet his eyes.  He had no idea what to say... no doubt the experienced lover knew his kiss was incredible._

_Jiraiya looked tenderly in his eyes, "Your lips are so soft."_

_Kakashi replied quietly, "I liked your kiss."_

_Jiraiya gave him an affectionate smile, "I enjoyed kissing you."_

_Kakashi nodded, but he could not come up with words to express his thoughts even if he'd been able to understand them and only stated, "I still want you to touch Ibiki.  You need to, he needs you to."_

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I will touch him... but if you wish me to stop I will.  I will never take him from you."

 

Kakashi gave him an enigmatic look and replied, "I will not leave him."

 

"I must go."  Jiraiya opened the door and looked back again at the puzzling man, then walked out and closed the door.

 

_'I will not leave him.'_   Was that a reassurance that he was not concerned about him taking Ibiki?  A vow that he would not allow him to take Ibiki from him?  A reassurance that he had no intention of walking away as Jiraiya had? 

 

He wasn't sure what the obscure words meant, but the end result was the same, Kakashi wished he and Ibiki to continue touching for now...

 

Jiraiya sighed sadly, he should not have kissed him... Ibiki was going to be very hurt.

 

\----------------------------

 

_Kakashi continued looking at the closed door a few moments longer thinking about Jiraiya's words... 'I will not take him from you.'  No, Jiraiya was too kind and gentle, he would have never have taken Ibiki away from someone he loved like he had... never stepped between them and left the man he loved and his lover in pain.... hurting and hopeless for months._

_His own reply, 'I will not leave him' was the truth.  No matter how badly he'd hurt them he could not walk  away... Jiraiya was so much stronger than him.  Kakashi knew he would not ever leave Ibiki... but he was beginning to think it would not be bad if Jiraiya stayed too_.

 

\--------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up as his Saiai walked into his office then rose to enclose him in his arms and kissed him lovingly.  "Is everything ok?"**

**Kakashi nodded then kissed him again, "I wish to sharpen my weapons."  Ibiki nodded, his beloved did not really know what to do with his off time so he often came in and sharpened his weapons or trained on his days off.**

**"I have some spare time, I will walk with you while you go down to get them."  Ibiki stroked his lover's cheek before releasing him and they walked down to the lockers.  Being there brought back the memory of the first time he'd held him.**

**Ibiki paused lost in thought about that day and all that it had lead to.  Kakashi looked over curiously, and stated, "I asked Jiraiya to kiss me."**

**Ibiki quickly looked at his beloved, even he was surprised at times as Kakashi announced things without any indication of any prior thought of or even a talk about the subject matter.  As he thought on his Saiai's words he felt uneasy.  His partner allowed him to have sex with Jiraiya... he had no right to be disturbed by a kiss... but he was.**

**Ibiki touched the bit of soft parchment that lay beside his lover's equipment .  Kakashi stroked his face, "It will bring me back if I activate it with my blood."**

**Ibiki looked curiously at him, then picked it up and looked at it, he knew many of those signs and Kakashi confirmed.  "Jiraiya gave it to me."**

**Ibiki nodded, quietly setting it down.  It was not to bring his Saiai to the Leaf village or even to the hospital... it would bring him to Jiraiya.**

 

_Kakashi could see his lover was distressed, "I should not have asked him to kiss me."_

_He had not thought it through, his beloved did not like Jiraiya touching him?  Jiraiya had touched him several times as they had sex... so he didn't want him kissing him?  He didn't understand, but it was clear his partner was upset by it... would he also be upset that Jiraiya touched him?  Kakashi was uncertain now, baffled by the reaction of his lover, and he concluded Ibiki would be hurt by Jiraiya touching him too... but did that mean he hadn't wanted Jiraiya touching him as they had sex?_

 

**Ibiki said nothing for a moment as he reined in his jealousy, "I am glad he gave you the scroll."**

**Jiraiya was using his toads, they would not have been able to bring Kakashi to the hospital, Tsunade or even him... and his Koishii would not allow him to die.  It was not something he should feel jealous of, neither was the kiss and yet the thought of Jiraiya kissing his Saiai filled him with anxiety.**

**"I'm sorry."  Kakashi cuddled into him.  "I won't ask for his touch or kiss."**

**Ibiki felt a stronger surge of distress, touch... his beloved had been allowing Jiraiya to 'touch' him.  Was that why he was insistent that he should touch Jiraiya and that Jiraiya should touch him?**

**Now he was just behaving like a fool, he loved both these men, they were not 'plotting' behind his back and if his Koishii had touched him it was not sexually.  Jiraiya was an affectionate caring person, there was nothing wrong about him touching Kakashi, but Ibiki remained uneasy no matter how foolish it was.**

 

\----------------------------------

 

Once again Jiraiya felt Ibiki's intent scrutiny every time he looked at or spoke to Kakashi.  It hurt but he'd brought this on himself, he knew better than to touch or kiss Ibiki's partner.  What he'd done was cruel and he'd hurt his Koishii, he deserved his distrust. 

 

Kakashi often looked confused when he'd see Ibiki studying them... then distressed.  He'd been cruel to Kakashi as well, he'd clearly not known how Ibiki would react.  Jiraiya did not have that excuse, he'd known and yet done it anyway, he deserved both their distrust.

 

Ibiki had not shown 'interest' in having sex with him since that one time, but that was good... even if it did not feel like it was.  His Koishii's distrust could also be viewed as 'good', maybe soon he would want him to leave... that certainly did not feel like a good thing. 

 

Everything was so wrong... and even worse, each time he saw Kakashi's eyes grow distressed he had to fight the urge to stroke his cheek and soothe him.  Then he'd look at Ibiki and wish he could comfort and reassure him.

 

Once again Jiraiya found himself causing conflict between the two men and he spoke little while at meals, never leaving his eyes rest more than briefly on either of them.

 

Ibiki was still upset he'd let Jiraiya kiss him and touch him... Jiraiya would not meet his eyes... Kakashi withdrew, he was never good at 'social things' and he'd misunderstood everything.  He still thought about Jiraiya's kiss, how good it had made him feel, and that only added to his confusion about it all.  His thoughts often dwelled on what it would be like to see Jiraiya having sex with Ibiki... the thought still did not bother him and often he would find himself aroused as he thought about it... did they touch?  How did Jiraiya touch him?  Kakashi was sure the skilled lover would bring him a lot of pleasure... he wanted to see that but once more neither man was willing to touch the other... people confused him.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

After a few days things became more relaxed, Ibiki stopped watching him so much and Jiraiya became cautiously friendly once more.   He was glad his Koishii had accepted it would not happen again... and it wouldn't, no matter how much he wished to touch either man he would not, he would not come between them and strain their bond.   He'd already selfishly caused enough damage.

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi continued trying to understand what was different about Jiraiya's helping them have sex and his touching him non-sexually.  The kiss, he just hadn't thought his life mate would be upset by it... but the touches confused him and Ibiki's closed off expression._

_He had saw the same distress in his partner's eyes at the mention of Jiraiya's touching him as when he'd told him he'd asked Jiraiya to kiss him... affection.  Ibiki did not want Jiraiya to touch him like he cared, he was not supposed to want or accept Jiraiya's affection... so sex was different?  It felt the same, caring._

_Jiraiya's touch felt wonderful, he'd liked the caring and he still wanted it, but now he was uneasy.  What if Ibiki hadn't really wanted Jiraiya touching him even during sex?  But, if that was true, then why had his lover asked him?_

_Caring... he wanted to see Jiraiya touching Ibiki, he thought about more and more lately.  It was not just the sex, although that was undeniably interesting.  He wanted to see how Jiraiya touched him, to see the pleasure on his beloved's face... and Jiraiya's, after seeing sorrow on both their faces for so long._

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Although it was still early in the day, Jiraiya decided he'd rather be sitting in a bar than out watching the happy villagers, he was making a rather good effort at finishing a bottle of Sake when his friend showed up. 

 

Tsunade pulled out a chair and waved for the bar keep to bring another cup before addressing her friend.  "This is not like you Jiraiya," she tried to insert some humor, but she looked worried.  "It's me who gets drunk off my ass and you that tries to keep me out of trouble until Shizune shows up!" 

 

Jiraiya shrugged and forced a little smile, "Thought I'd take a turn for a change.  Talking about Shizune, she's going to come looking for you."

 

Tsunade shook her head, "She's the one who told me you were here, she saw you walk in."

 

He poured a cup for her and teased, "And she gave you permission to play hooky?"

 

Tsunade seriously replied, "Yes.  She's worried about you too."

 

Jiraiya looked resigned, he sat staring down at his cup quietly.  "This is not anything I haven't had happen before, too many times to count."

 

"Ah Jiraiya,"  She sighed.  "You're a wonderful person, it shouldn't have even happened once... but this time it is different.  I hate seeing you hurting like this."

 

He sipped his drink then bluntly stated, "I kissed Kakashi."

 

"Well, that was out of the blue,"  Tsunade dryly replied,  "I think you are getting his habit for saying shocking things without warning."  In spite of her taunt her eyes were grim, she was aware how serious it was, things just kept getting more messed up.

 

He poured himself another cup, "I'm causing conflict between them, distrust." 

 

"Jiraiya, why did you kiss him?"  There was no accusation in her voice and she sounded like she already knew why.

 

Jiraiya softly answered, "He asked me to... Ibiki's right to distrust me, Kakashi's developing feelings for me..."  Even if Kakashi had asked, he'd known better than to do it and he was completely to blame.

 

"And you are falling in love with him."  Tsunade added.  She poured herself another cup, she was quickly catching up and soon they'd need another bottle.

 

He didn't have a denial for that, he wasn't falling in love with Kakashi, he'd fell in love with him.  "Kakashi said he wants me and Ibiki to have sex."

 

She paused in raising her drink to her mouth, "He what?  Yes, you are definitely picking up on Kakashi's habit... that's... interesting.  Did he say why?"

 

"He says he don't want us to hurt anymore." Jiraiya replied.  How could he not love Kakashi, as confused and unfamiliar as he was with interaction between people, and he had still had cared enough to wish him not to 'hurt anymore'.

 

"That does not sound like distrust, I take it Ibiki wasn't very happy about the kiss?"  Tsunade asked, but it was not a question as much as an acknowledgement.  She looked weary as she sipped her drink and once more Jiraiya debated whether he should even be involving her in this mess, but then he knew his friend, she'd have involved herself whether he wished it or not and he really needed to talk about it to someone who understood him.

 

"He's not angry... he's hurt."  He corrected.  "I really should leave, this mess is escalating... but I'm not sure I can.  I don't know how I can face the emptiness again."

 

Tsunade nodded, "I wish I could just tell you 'wait' but I'm not sure anymore.  You're right things are getting worse... but don't go yet."

 

She topped off his cup, empting the bottle and waved the barkeeper to bring another.  "You know you should write... this would make a bestselling novel." 

 

Jiraiya looked at her and quirked his eyebrow, "I don't write tragedies."  He'd tried to be humorous but the words were far too truthful to be funny.

 

As they continued drinking they moved on to a less depressing subject, their speculations on where it had all gone wrong with Orochimaru, and why they hadn't seen the signs.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

**Several days had passed since Kakashi's announcement that Jiraiya had kissed him.  The interaction between the two men had not changed in any alarming way, and Ibiki accepted it happened but it had meant nothing.**

**They continued having meals together, but Ibiki had not touched Jiraiya or his Koishii touched him since that day Kakashi was gone on a mission.  So it came as a surprise as his enigmatic Saiai announced,  "I wish to see him touch you."**

**Was his beloved jealous?  He did not seem so, nor did he look like he was doubting his decision to let them touch each other.  He just looked... interested.**

 

_Ibiki looked surprised, but there was also concern in his eyes. "I'm afraid it will hurt you."_

_Kakashi studied his beloved and confirmed his meaning, "Like it hurt Jiraiya when he saw you touching me as he watched us have sex ... and when I told you I asked him to kiss me?"_

 

**His Saiai's words were curious, not accusatory and Ibiki replied, "Yes."**

**Kakashi didn't look disturbed, "I wish to."**

**Ibiki nodded, he was very uncomfortable with this, would his Saiai get jealous?  Not wish him to touch his Koishii, worry about Jiraiya taking him away from him.  It wasn't right to touch him anyway, but this just didn't seem like a good idea and yet he could not deny him.  His lover accepted him having sex with Jiraiya, he would not exclude him.  If he wished to be there, it was his right as his partner to do so.  But that did not ease his anxiety about it.**

**\-------------------------------------------**

**After their meal as they sat down in the living room Ibiki tried to bring up the subject, but he was very uncertain what to say, how did you say your lover wanted to watch you have sex with them?**

 

Jiraiya could see his Koishii was trying to come up with a way to say what was on his mind, he'd been quiet all night.  Ibiki still looked uncertain and Kakashi regarded him with only mild interest as Ibiki asked.  "Will you..."

 

Kakashi looked at his partner with a loving gaze and then over a Jiraiya, then he stated bluntly, "We want you to come into the bedroom and have sex."

 

Jiraiya was stunned, they really did not need his 'help' anymore... had they run into a problem?  He nodded, whatever the problem he would help them past it, nothing should stand barring their future happiness together from them.  Ibiki rose and the three men walked into the bedroom.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

**END CHAP 15**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 15: ON MY OWN (THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS)


	16. LEAD ME OUT OF THE DARK (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 16)

**LEAD ME OUT OF THE DARK (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 16)**

\----------------------------------------------

 

_As they entered the bedroom Kakashi's eyes lingered on Jiraiya's mouth, the memory of his kiss was very arousing... he watched the riveting man a few moments.  Then looked at his beloved and as his lover stripped, his gaze slipped down to his erection._

_Ibiki embraced him kissing him passionately.  Kakashi whimpered into their kiss now extremely excited the feel of his partner's cock pressed against him, he wanted to feel his lover inside him!_

_"Can I touch you?" Jiraiya asked him softly.  Before answering Kakashi drew back from their kiss and looked at him, then a bit uncertainly at Ibiki before cautiously nodding and returning to his hungry kiss.  He still wanted to see the two men have sex, but right now he wanted his beloved very much!  He felt light feathers of Jiraiya's fingers over his body, then his gentle touch urged him to lift one leg then the other.  Before he could even think on the fact the skilled man was stripping him,  he was bare and pressed to his lover's body._

 

**Ibiki heard the lusty mews and felt the tremble of his desire, his Saiai was very aroused.  Caressing him and teasing him he drew his beloved down on top of him, taking the lube he carefully prepared him.**

 

Jiraiya watched, unless they had a need for him, he would not interfere.  He was only waiting to see what was a source of anxiety for Ibiki or Kakashi so he could help them past it...

 

He really was not very good at lying, not even to himself.  In truth he could not deny he _wished_ to touch them, to watch the pleasure on their faces and be a part of their sex even in this limited way.

 

Jiraiya lay on his side crooning softly to Kakashi, "You feel your lover's touch... how he teases you... the feel of his fingers moving within you... your body wanting that pleasure, welcoming his touch and loosening to get more of those wonderful sensations."  Then he purred to his Koishii, "Feel how he wants you, needs the pleasure you can give him, his cries of ecstasy at the feel of you..." 

 

It was possible this was a new position for them, Kakashi astride Ibiki's prone body, a bit different than the seated position they'd done on the couch.  His Koishii maybe worried that if he became too aroused he could cause his beloved pain... or that if his partner became excited he could cause himself pain.

 

Ibiki had prepared his lover well, he had enough lube... Kakashi rose over the rigid length and started to press down onto it, he gave a soft gasp as it slipped into his body but it looked like he was becoming used to it and learning to relax his muscles as he took his lover into him.  The sensual man slipped to the base then rose quickly.

 

"I'm going to touch you..." Jiraiya quietly warned, when Kakashi did not stiffen in alarm, he brushed lightly down from his shoulder to enclose his erection.  He teased his arousal with slow strokes at first, keeping Kakashi from moving too fast on his lover's cock, but as his body loosened Jiraiya's hand slipped away to feather over his back and chest. 

 

Jiraiya knew his orgasms up until this point had been from the tease of his ears and in this position there was a better way.  He slipped around behind him, straddling Ibiki's lower legs, and cupped Kakashi's hips.

 

_As Kakashi moved faster rising and lowering himself on his beloved's cock he felt Jiraiya's hands gently grasp his hips tilting them, then the most incredible rapture he'd ever felt.  He'd never imagined there could be pleasure so strong it took his breath away!_

 

**Ibiki could not resist the urge to cum, even if the amazing contractions of his lover's body had not brought it, the sensual arch he gave and ecstasy on his face would have guaranteed it.  He only  resisted long enough to give a second buck before giving in to his need.**

**Kakashi cried out instinctively arching and Ibiki's next thrust hit that perfect area again, his Saiai   howled in rapture as he was brought to completion once more, then lay collapsed against him quivering at the strong waves of ecstasy and trying to catch his breath.**

 

Jiraiya had slipped to seated at their side once more and smiled at their pleasure, although aroused he did not hurt as greatly as before, not in body or mind...

 

Then Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya, his eyes lit with excitement, "I want to see you touch Ibiki." 

 

Jiraiya rose and looked at Ibiki in alarm.  This was a very bad idea!  His Koishii had just started to be 'comfortable' around him once more... this was definitely not a good idea!

 

Kakashi's eyes had filled with emotion; curiosity and desire... but it wasn't until he asked, "Please touch him Jiraiya."  That he gave a reluctant nod, if this caused jealousy and made Kakashi wish for him to leave it was understandable, he would not deny him.  Jiraiya stripped and his Koishii rose to embrace him.

 

Jiraiya stroked Ibiki's body softly, tempting him with light brushes of his fingers over his cock until he was beginning to flush hard again.  Perhaps he could fulfill Kakashi's request without his Koishii fucking him, his hand enclosed Ibiki's rapidly hardening length his thumb circling the head with every stroke.  His beloved moaned his muscles flexing at the growing ecstasy of Jiraiya's enticing caress.  

 

Kakashi watched his eyes full of desire, then they lifted to meet Ibiki's.  "Can I touch you?" 

 

Ibiki cautiously nodded, Jiraiya slowly stroked his beloved's erection, but his attention was split between both men.  He remained ready to intervene if his Koishii started to become uneasy, overwhelmed or Kakashi became uncertain.

 

Kakashi tenderly feathered his fingers over the scars of his lover's upper back.   Ibiki gave a surprised gasp and firm buck into Jiraiya's hand, his moans of ecstasy fevered and growing increasingly urgent.  Jiraiya met Kakashi's eyes and then slipped down to take the first part of Ibiki's cock in his mouth, sucking and teasing it as his hand stroked the rest of the shaft, the younger man watched with a combination of lust and fascination.

 

Jiraiya had chosen this because Kakashi would not be able to take his partner in his throat, not in the beginning and... yes, once more he was teaching his Koishii's new lover to 'replace' him.  Ibiki was quickly brought to his orgasm, the stimulation of Kakashi's strokes on top of the rapture of Jiraiya's actions too strong to resist. 

 

Kakashi continued watching with fascination as Jiraiya drew back as Ibiki climaxed then covered his cock after the first jet of cum and sucked as his lover bucked twice more sating his need.  Jiraiya released him and stepped back, he expected the two men to kiss and caress, but for a moment longer Kakashi just looked at Jiraiya then slipped around to in front of Ibiki and kissed him passionately.

 

Jiraiya knew it was time to go, they didn't require him now and he did not belong here.

 

**Ibiki had seen the longing in Kakashi's eyes for that moment, his Saiai desired Jiraiya's intimate touches ... he was still very uncertain how he felt about it.  Jiraiya had touched Kakashi to have sex with him that once, and then to 'help' them so he could have sex with his beloved without hurting him several times.  But when he'd heard they kissed it had left him very uneasy.**

**Jiraiya slowly backed away as Ibiki and Kakashi to continued stroking and kissing each other.  Ibiki could not bear the thought of 'turning his back' on his Koishii, letting his beloved service him like a whore then be cast aside.**

**Ibiki broke their kiss, kissed his Saiai's throat tenderly, and murmured, "You can touch him."**  

 

_Kakashi looked at Ibiki, then uncertainly at Jiraiya.  His beloved had not liked that he'd asked Jiraiya to kiss him, but he had not seemed upset by the experienced lover touching him while they had sex... as Jiraiya backed up a bit more he was certain he did not want the amazing man to leave and quietly asked, "Jiraiya, please touch me."_

 

Jiraiya moved close he could see the uncertainty in Kakashi's posture, his fingers lightly massaged his shoulder.  As he relaxed Jiraiya's fingers traveled slowly down his spine, massaging the muscles and Kakashi gave soft moans as he placed kisses on Ibiki's chest.

 

_It was like when he'd soothed him and yet different, more... intimate feeling.  Like when the gentle lover had massaged his back while he took Jiraiya's cock inside him the first time he'd had sex._

 

**Ibiki was astounded by Jiraiya's understanding, but then he should have known his Koishii would know how to touch Kakashi in a non-threatening way... both for his Saiai and for himself... there was no doubt Jiraiya had seen Kakashi was also feeling uncertain about his intimately touching him right now.**

**Ibiki moaned as his partner's soft lips trailed down over the sensitive scars, his eyes met Jiraiya's and he urged him, "Koishii, kiss him..."**

**Jiraiya smiled softly, but he did kiss him, not until the slender nin lifted his head and said, "Please."**

Jiraiya placed tender kisses over his back and shoulders as Kakashi returned to teasing his lover's chest with light strokes of his tongue.  When Kakashi's tongue flicked over Ibiki's nipple, he cried out in surprised delight, his hips bucking softly and his cock hardening at the wonderful sensation.  

 

Kakashi paused, he looked surprised by his lover's enthusiastic reaction and did it again, receiving another buck of Ibiki's rapidly swelling length.

 

Kakashi looked down at his erection, then his hand enclosed it and he imitated Jiraiya's strokes from earlier, Ibiki moaned loudly.  Jiraiya felt Kakashi's excited shiver at the reactions his partner was giving at his caress and gave a slightly amused and very affectionate smile. 

 

**Jiraiya was still behind Kakashi, it was clear he hadn't expected Ibiki to see his affectionate expression from the way his eyes darkened in guilt when he realized Ibiki had looked up and saw it.  Ibiki knew his Koishii was about to back away again and he was growing certain that he didn't want him to go.  "Jiraiya please stay..." Ibiki's words ended in a rapturous cry, his Saiai's new skill was leaving him aching with need.**

 

Kakashi looked up over his shoulder, this time there was no hesitation in his request, only longing. "Please touch me." 

 

Jiraiya met Ibiki's eyes seeing acceptance in them, his fingers began teasing Kakashi's nipples with whisper soft circles bringing fevered mews  from him, wanton cries that quickly teased Ibiki to completion.   

 

_Kakashi looked at the cum on his hand, then brought his fingers to his mouth and gave a curious lick... a move that drew loud groans from both Ibiki and Jiraiya.  Kakashi looked at his hand, then up at them and sucked the cum from one of his fingers, Jiraiya gave a small whimper at the incredible tease._

_It excited them... the thought sent a thrill through him, his lovers were aroused by what he was doing!_

 

 

**Ibiki saw his partner look down at Jiraiya's engorged length.  Then uncertainly at him and he reassured him by caressing his cheek and encouraging him, "Touch him Saiai."**

**Ibiki wasn't sure how he felt when Jiraiya had began touching them, but now he was certain, his experienced lover wanted their touch and they wanted his.... Ibiki found he _enjoyed_ hearing his erotic** **lover cry out at his Koishii's touch.**

 

Kakashi looked down at Jiraiya's cock and gave it a tentative stroke of his hand, from the way he looked back at Ibiki there was no doubt he knew it may distress his partner and his tone was a bit hesitant.  "I want to try to suck him." 

 

Jiraiya wasn't so sure this was a good idea, but waited for Ibiki to decide if he felt it would be alarming or was not willing for his partner to touch him like that.  There was a slight hesitation in his nod,  Jiraiya caressed his strong Koishii's cheek then looked in Kakashi's eyes, "Not on your knees." 

 

**Kakashi nodded, Ibiki felt a wave of relief, it was amazing how his exceptional beloved had found a way to make it less alarming as he permitted his Saiai to try something new.  Jiraiya backed away and lay on the bed, his arms at his sides without expectation. "Do what you wish, if something makes you uncomfortable then..."**

**Ibiki smiled lovingly at his Koishii and completed his sentence.  "Move away."**  

 

Kakashi nodded, he looked between the two men in surprise at Ibiki finishing Jiraiya's sentence, then gave a little smile.  Jiraiya could see from the way Ibiki was raptly staring at Kakashi he'd never seen him smile either.  "Saiai... so beautiful." 

 

Kakashi reacted to every bit of pleasure and praise like someone who'd never heard or felt these things and was delighted by them.   He gave Jiraiya's cock a tentative lick, Jiraiya gasped and Ibiki groaned softly, "Saiai you are so sexy!"

 

Kakashi looked up, his tone truly astonished, "I am?"

 

Ibiki gave him a tender kiss, "Yes quite."  Jiraiya smiled and nodded.  Kakashi looked thrilled and turned his attention to Jiraiya's aching length again, licking slowly over the swollen head and sucking on it.  Jiraiya cried out, his cock pounded with need and with every temptation his urgent hunger grew. 

 

**Ibiki could see how his Koishii trembled and yet he gave no indication beside that how desperately he wished to cum.  He nuzzled his Saiai's throat, "He needs to be fucked."**

**Kakashi shook his head, "I don't... I'm not sure what to do..."**

**Ibiki stroked his back lightly.  "Do you want to fuck him?"**

**Kakashi looked excited as he replied, "I want to see you fuck him."  He was showing more enthusiasm the more he watched, although his own cock had to be getting painful.  **

**Jiraiya's gaze dropped to Kakashi's erection then rose to met Ibiki's eyes, "I wish to make him more comfortable."**

**Ibiki felt a surge of love, his extraordinary Koishii was asking if it would upset him to see him give Kakashi oral sex.  His incredible lover was in extreme need and yet he wished to sate his Saiai so he'd be 'comfortable', Ibiki nodded permission.**

**Jiraiya looked at Kakashi, "Can I take you in my mouth?"  His Saiai gave an excited, but slightly nervous nod and Jiraiya slipped down to between his legs.  Ibiki saw the subtle wince his Koishii gave as he lay on his turgid cock between Kakashi's legs and his mouth slipped down over Kakashi's erection.**

**Ibiki couldn't resist placing kisses over his lover's face and chest as his Saiai keened, mewing and writhing in pleasure.  Jiraiya quickly teased him to climax, his enthralling beloved wailed, arching as he came.**

**Ibiki could see the same interest in Jiraiya's eyes as he knew was in his own, his Koishii was highly excited by the reaction Kakashi had to getting what was clearly his first blow job.  Jiraiya's mouth tempted the sated flesh of his cock as the flushed man lay panting on the bed trying to recover from the intense rapture.  He whimpered, wantonly trembling, as Jiraiya's mouth teased him and gave a loud shocked cry as the skilled lover's hand cupped his balls.**

**Watching his two lover's Ibiki was tempted, the sight was nearly enough to make him wish to try taking his seductive partner in his mouth... but that was only a lusty fantasy, the reality was he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to accept it, much less get pleasure from it... he would never forget being helpless as they'd brutally fucked his mouth... choking on blood and cum...**  

 

Jiraiya lifted his head and his hand continued the tease, "Koishii... your beloved needs you, kiss him." 

 

Ibiki nodded, his manner now withdrawn, Jiraiya had been watching his Koishii even while giving Kakashi pleasure and when his beloved froze he knew he needed to be distracted.  Ibiki leaned over his lover kissing him. 

 

**He didn't want those memories taking this away from him, he concentrated on tasting his Saiai's warm flesh, hearing him cry out in delight and tried to forget.  He couldn't watch Jiraiya... couldn't let himself think about what he was doing, nothing mattered but the sweet rapturous cries of his sensual lover.**

 

Jiraiya drew and bobbed on the tempting length as Kakashi gave ecstatic moans, then to his surprise the enticing man started keening and writhing.  Jiraiya's pinned his hips down and continued,  but now he knew why Kakashi was feverishly whimpering and giving pleading mews... Ibiki was slowly kissing up his neck to his ear. 

 

Kakashi howled and tried to buck urgently as he came, Jiraiya slipped down to the base and Ibiki continued tracing his ear with his tongue until his lover was teased through multiple orgasms and lay quivering on the bed completely sated and very exhausted.  Then drew back and stroked his partner's chest lovingly.

 

Jiraiya rose, releasing his flaccid member and placed a tender kiss on the enthralling man's brow; Kakashi had no idea how special he was.  Then Jiraiya drew back and nervously looked at Ibiki, he was concerned this gesture of affection would not be acceptable, it was one thing to be allowed to sate his lover... but a different and more serious thing to express affection. 

 

**Ibiki wasn't certain how he felt about that kiss, but this was not the time to think on that, Jiraiya had been needing release for a very long time and there was no doubt he was hurting.  Jiraiya slipped up then paused as Ibiki lay on the bed and asked, "I want you on top Koishii."**

**Jiraiya's eyes filled with love and he slipped up over him pressing down quickly to take him to the base.  Ibiki urged him up to seated and stroked his hips in encouragement.   Jiraiya cried out in delight and started urgently fucking himself, arching as Ibiki thrust up into his drops and moaning feverishly.**

**His Koishii was teasing himself even though greatly desired to cum and when he shifted his hips to angle Ibiki's next thrust to his pleasure spot he wailed in rapture at finally being allowed to cum,  rocking rapidly as he climaxed and trembling in ecstasy.  Ibiki cried out at the strong rhythmic draws of his lover's passage as it demanded everything from his weary body.**  

 

Jiraiya lay down on his wonderful Koishii trembling as the finally waves of ecstasy flowed through him.  He lovingly caressed his beloved's face and brushed a tender kiss over his lips.  Then he looked over and saw the enigmatic look on Kakashi's face.  Jiraiya's gaze dropped and quietly he rose off Ibiki, gathered his clothes and started out of the room.  Again... giving sexual pleasure was a much different thing than giving affection... or love.

 

"Wait... You love him very much, stay, he can love you forever..." Kakashi's voice dropped, clearly uncertain how his words would be taken but saying them anyway, "We both can."

 

Jiraiya gave a little sad smile, "I don't belong here."

 

"I think you belong here." Kakashi stated softly, then looked at Ibiki anxiously.

 

**It was the solution to the problem if it worked, they had to try... He remembered now how Jiraiya had stroked Kakashi's leg tenderly before unwrapping the scroll from his ankle... the look on his Koishii's face as he gently cradled the injured nin to him as they transported to his house... how he'd kept his clothes on as he washed Kakashi... so many things he'd done had gave clues and yet he'd remained oblivious to it...**

**Jiraiya, his compassionate loving Koishii cared about Kakashi... possibly loved him... the kiss had not been desire, it had been an expression of how deeply he had come to care about him.**

**Ibiki added, " _We_ think you belong here.  Give us a chance... please."**

  

Jiraiya wanted to, he desperately wanted to and that was terrifying.  He wasn't sure he could bear it, opening his heart to Kakashi and Ibiki... he really did not think he could survive the pain of them both turning their backs on him.  There would come a day when they would want him to go... and yet he couldn't resist wanting this dream, needing it.

 

**Kakashi glanced at Ibiki, Jiraiya was not looking at them, his gaze on the floor before him.  Ibiki nodded, he knew what his Saiai wished to do and agreed.**

 

_Kakashi rose and walked over embracing Jiraiya, "Please stay."  He wanted this he didn't want to lose this, the soothing gentle affection... the warmth..._

_When Jiraiya looked down at him, his eyes held love.  Kakashi nearly melted under the loving gaze, he took the incredible man's hand stroking his face with it.  Now he understood what the 'warmth' was, "I need you to love me... please."  Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, which turned uneasy as Ibiki walked up._

 

Jiraiya's anxiety eased slightly as his wonderful Koishii caressed his face, and without reservation Ibiki asked, "Let us love you please... we need you to love us and never leave."

 

Jiraiya could not resist this dream, even if it killed him, it was worth risking his heart for.  "Yes."

 

**Kakashi gave a full smile and once more the two men were stunned, Ibiki stroked his Saiai's face and nodded as Jiraiya sighed. "So gorgeous..."**

**Ibiki took the clothes from his Koishii's hand, "I think we should go shower and get some sleep."**

**Kakashi  remained looking up at Jiraiya a minute more, then looked over at Ibiki.  It was not hard to see he wanted something, but was afraid to ask. He could see a touch of concern in Jiraiya's eyes... then he knew.  "Saiai you can kiss him if you wish."  He'd been hurt last time when he'd asked Jiraiya to kiss him, his beloved was worried it would be upsetting for him.  "You can touch him, kiss him... you will not hurt me."**

 

_Kakashi leaned into Ibiki's arms and kissed him lovingly, when he broke the kiss he looked up at Jiraiya.  The adoration in his eyes gave him confidence, "Will you kiss me?"_

_"Yes Myobu."  Jiraiya gave him a tender smile and brushed his lips softly over Kakashi's._

**Ibiki watched the two men he loved, 'Myobu'... yes, Jiraiya loved Kakashi... a pure, good Kitsune... Jiraiya was right, it fit the incredible man perfectly.**

 

Jiraiya started to draw back from the kiss but the longing in Kakashi's eyes made him forget his caution and he embraced the lithe man to him kissing him passionately and felt him trustingly melt into his touch. 

 

**Ibiki nearly groaned, watching his two sexy lovers kiss was almost enough to arouse him even if he was completely spent!**

**When Jiraiya drew back from the kiss he stroked Kakashi's face, then looked over at Ibiki with a uneasy look.**

**Ibiki felt shame, he'd caused his Koishii so much pain, the fear in his eyes... he'd damaged him so badly, it may be a long time before he could trust him again, but he would find ways to try to heal some of the damage he'd done and bring back the happy man he once was.  With Kakashi's help he had a better chance, at least his Saiai had never hurt or abandoned Jiraiya.  The more he thought about it, the less certain he was that he'd ever be able to make up for the betrayal of his Koishii's trust.**

 

Jiraiya saw the sorrow grow in his Koishii's eyes, and the distress in Kakashi's, he drew Ibiki close and placed soothing kisses over his face.

 

Ibiki sighed, "I wish I could erase all the pain I've caused you." 

 

Jiraiya shook his head and caressed his cheek.  "You have not done anything wrong, you never meant to hurt me, only did the things you needed to.  I understand Koishii."  Jiraiya looked at Kakashi then met Ibiki's eyes, "No guilt, leave all that in the past.  I don't want to see my precious ones sad."

 

_Kakashi hugged the badly scared man and gave him a tender kiss, he  never wanted to see sadness on Ibiki or Jiraiya's face again._

 

Jiraiya was relieved to see Kakashi looked more relaxed as the sorrow left Ibiki's eyes.  He had looked so lost, like he didn't know what to do, it was hurting him to see his beloved sad. 

 

"Let's shower now."  Jiraiya urged.

 

**Ibiki nodded, feeling their love helped and Jiraiya's words of forgiveness eased his sadness, even if he didn't deserve it he wanted his trust again and he would try to give him the security he craved and the happiness he deserved.**

 

\------------------------

 

_The hot water of the shower trailing down his body felt good but not as heavenly as_ _the feel of Ibiki’s rough hands lightly caressing him as he washed him._

 

**Ibiki was grateful his Saiai's** **body was sated, his lover gave soft groans of delight at the sensation of his slick hands slipping over his sensitive skin.  Ibiki's strokes paused at his partner's waist, some days were more difficult than others and tonight he just couldn't touch him even though beloved was not aroused.**

**It was frustrating, he wanted to** **continue to caress him and give him pleasure, feel his amazing body under his hands.  Jiraiya nuzzled Ibiki's throat then turned Kakashi to face him and washed down his pelvis, and legs as Ibiki washed his Saiai's back.  He was so grateful for his understanding and perceptive lovers, few were lucky enough to find one partner that understood and accepted them... he'd been blessed to find two lovers that knew and accepted him as he was.  This made him wish so much more to move past those limits, to be able to give them pleasure and receive pleasure without needing to hold back.**

 

Jiraiya had seen Ibiki growing more uneasy as his touch slipped down to above Kakashi's pelvis, he'd been watching for this.  The way his Koishii had looked as he'd watched him give Kakashi oral sex, whatever thoughts that had come to mind had lingered like a ghost and  he hadn't been able to dismiss his anxiety yet.

 

_Kakashi felt so... wanted, the light caresses of his lovers made him feel... cherished.  All his life he'd never known the incredible feeling of being touched tenderly._

_Afterward Kakashi imitated the_ _soft strokes of his lovers_ _as he washed Jiraiya's chest_ _, at least at first but as his hands moved over the ridges of muscles he found himself tracing them his hands exploring the sculptured hard body, no one had ever mentioned how good it felt to touch..._

 

**Ibiki slipped around to behind Jiraiya and held him, just like he'd wanted to do so often the past couple months.  His Koishii was so precious to him and holding him felt so wonderful.  He never wanted to lose either of his lovers ever again, this would work, they would make it work.  Jiraiya provided comfort and stability, his gentle love made everything bearable... even his memories.**

 

Jiraiya smiled, the light caress of Kakashi's hands and the firm warmth of Ibiki cradling him from behind, it was bliss...

 

\-------------------

 

After they showered Jiraiya redressed, "It's late, I should leave so you both can get some rest." 

 

Ibiki reluctantly nodded, but added, "I wish you would stay here."

 

Jiraiya gave a reassuring smile and teased, "I think I should continue living at the inn, your bedroom will be much too crowded if we try to place another bed in there..."

 

Even if Kakashi would allow it, he could not sleep beside Kakashi knowing his Koishii was laying alone, he'd feel excluded and he would not hurt him like that.  Kakashi was his partner and he didn't want either men to feel threatened, it was enough just to know they wanted him for now.

 

Kakashi replied softly, "I don't want you to leave... it's your bed.  I can return to my apartment, it has not been rented." 

 

Jiraiya shook his head immediately, "No.  It's not my bed, it's yours, you have not taken anything from me.  I promise." 

 

Kakashi still looked uneasy and Jiraiya  soothed, "I won't leave, I can sleep on the couch for now, it is very comfortable.  I must go get some clothes then I will be back, please get some sleep."

 

_"Yes."  Kakashi agreed his anxiety lightening, he did not want Jiraiya to leave the house, he wanted to know he was near.  It brought a strange uneasy feeling to hear he was going back to the inn, like if Jiraiya did he would leave them._

_Jiraiya tenderly caressed his cheek "If you decide you do not wish this...for me to be here..."_

_Kakashi leaned slightly into his touch.  "I won't decide that."_

 

**Jiraiya nodded, he looked over at Ibiki and his hand dropped.  He saw Jiraiya looked very guilty and his posture was tensed, Ibiki reassuringly stroked his hand and he relaxed.  "I love you Koishii."**

**Kakashi didn't speak but reached up to brush his fingers tenderly over Jiraiya's face.  Expressing emotion was difficult for his Saiai  at times, and sometimes he was confused on how to react, but the soft touch said what he could not.  They'd done the right thing, he cared deeply for Jiraiya.**

**Jiraiya smiled and urged, "I will be back soon.  Sleep now, I will see you in the morning."**

 

\---------------------------------

 

The two men went into the bedroom and Jiraiya left to walk to his room at the inn, he needed some time to think.  So much had happened, it seemed almost magical it happened so fast...

 

Was this a rash decision one or both men would regret?  At any moment they could realize what they'd agreed to... even tonight as they lay in bed they could be thinking about it and regretting their decision.  What if they told him in the morning that they just 'didn't think it would work out'... that they did not want him.

 

Would Kakashi allow him to continue touching him... or his partner, would Ibiki become insecure and decide he did not wish him to touch Kakashi...

 

Perhaps it would have been better not to have thought too closely on it.  His mood was somber as he gathered some clothes and then returned to the house he'd lived in briefly so many times before.  How long would he get to stay this time?  He was such a desperate fool.

 

\----------------------------------

 

_Kakashi sighed softly, he wished he had Jiraiya's reassuring stroke on his cheek right now.   Even if Jiraiya said everything was his now, this bed and so many other things... he knew he'd taken it and everything else from the affectionate man._

_Ibiki spoke quietly, "Saiai.  Can I come lay beside you for a while, I want to hold you."_

_Kakashi was grateful for his perceptive lover, his beloved knew he was upset... likely by his breathing pattern.  He  had stopped guarding his reactions as much when in their home, but often it was instinctive.  "Yes.  Please lay with me."_

_The warm solid body slipped into his bed, gathered him close and his lover comforted him, "I love you Saiai.  Holding you brings me such happiness."_

_Kakashi lay on his beloved's broad chest feeling the flex of his muscles as Ibiki caressed him.  Without thought he spoke his mind, "I worry about him."_

 

**Ibiki knew he was expressing his guilt about Jiraiya 'losing' everything to him, but he wasn't to blame for that either, Ibiki knew it was his own poor decisions that led up to everything.  He continued tenderly caressing him and letting him gather his thoughts and try to express them.**

**Kakashi stroked his neck, "He gives too much... until he has nothing left."**

**Ibiki kissed his temple and softly agreed, "Yes.  He does everything he can to please people, to help them... even when it hurts him."**

**"Do you think he will stay?  I won't let him leave."  Kakashi's tone had a stubborn note, but mainly it was anxious.**

**Ibiki nuzzled him and smiled slightly before replying, "I think you should tell him your worried he won't stay."  Kakashi echoed his own thoughts, only he was sure his Saiai would truly attempt to detain him... he went with non verbal solutions most often... like he'd done with Tarento.**

**Kakashi lifted his head to look up at him.  "We can love him forever."**

**Ibiki felt a spike of sorrow, "I'm not sure he'll ever trust me completely again.  I've hurt him so much... betrayed his trust too many times."**

_Kakashi kissed him tenderly, he had no words that would help.  As he grew tired Ibiki slipped from his bed and returned to his own, but neither man could sleep until they felt Jiraiya return._

 

\-----------------------------

 

**When they woke in the morning, it was to the smell of coffee and Ibiki had no doubt a kettle of hot water was waiting for Kakashi to make tea.  The two men dressed and walked out to the kitchen, Jiraiya smiled at them then got two coffee cups and a mug for tea down from the cabinet.  He poured Ibiki's coffee as he asked Kakashi, "Is Orange Blossom tea ok?  I can go to the market today and pick up another kind if you like."**

**Kakashi watched him, "Orange Blossom is good."  Jiraiya turned and poured the mug of hot water and placed a tea bag in it before setting it before him.  Then he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat, Kakashi was not a 'morning person' and really didn't speak much in the morning, neither did Ibiki... but the silence was not uncomfortable.  Ibiki finished his coffee, Jiraiya rose got the pot and refilled it, then asked.  "Did you need more water Kakashi?"**

 

_Kakashi shook his head, he found it a bit disturbing that just like when he'd been injured Jiraiya was waiting on him... he was not hurt now.  No... Jiraiya was waiting on them both... He glanced over at Ibiki and his partner gave a little nod, indicating he was aware of how Jiraiya was behaving. He could see it was making Ibiki as uneasy as it was himself._

 

**"Koishii please sit, relax... if we need anything we can go get it."  Ibiki urged.**

**Jiraiya gave him a fond smile, "I don't mind."**

**Ibiki was ashamed, how could he have not noticed the way Jiraiya always served them, then himself... how he'd rise and go get them anything they wished even while eating.  "Jiraiya..."  Ibiki was at a loss for words, but Kakashi said what was on both their minds a moment later.**

**"Why do you always serve us?"  Although Kakashi's words were blunt they held more than a touch of uneasiness.**

**Jiraiya smiled and replied lightly, "Ibiki cooks for us, it's the least I can do."**

**Ibiki could see Kakashi didn't buy that answer any more than he did. _'He gives too much... until he has nothing left.'_   He rose, drew his Koishii up from his seat into his arms kissed him tenderly and added.  "Please don't place yourself and your needs below others wants.  You are important too."**

 

Jiraiya stroked his Koishii's cheek softly, then gave a nervous look at Kakashi, before replying, "Everything is ok, I promise."

 

Ibiki nodded and released him, then took his coffee cup to the sink and rinsed it.  "I have to go now, will I see you later?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, he wanted to be there every day to walk home with him, he didn't want to miss a minute that he could spend with either of his cherished ones.  "I will meet you at the time you normally leave work.  Did we need anything for our evening meal?" 

 

He wanted to ask if Kakashi would be coming home as well, but he wasn't certain either man could answer, Ibiki was the Head of ANBU, Kakashi an ANBU... the missions they did were not something that was supposed to be 'common knowledge' and he was uncertain if either man could talk about it... that would put them in an awkward position, it was just better not to ask for now.

 

Ibiki nodded, he always liked to use fresh ingredients.  He jotted down a few things on a piece of paper as Kakashi also rose, drifted over to the sink and rinsed his cup.

 

Jiraiya followed as Ibiki and Kakashi walked to the door.  Kakashi's face was now expressionless, but before following his partner out the door he looked back at Jiraiya and stated, "I won't let you leave."  Then turned and walked out closing the door. 

 

Jiraiya looked at the now closed door in surprise, _'I won't let you leave.'_  Kakashi was worried about him leaving them?!  He gave an amused and affectionate smile at the closed door... he had no doubt Kakashi really would try to stop him if he tried to leave... but they needn't worry, he would remain as long as they wanted him and he hoped that would be for a very long time.  They were everything to him, the only light in a dark world he'd lived in for so long.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Tsunade looked up at Jiraiya as he walked in, that glance turned to an intent stare.  "Jiraiya, you look... happy."

 

Jiraiya gave her a playful smile and teased, "That happens occasionally."  He walked over to sit on the corner of the desk.  "You knew didn't you?" 

 

Tsunade broke into a smile, relief written clearly on her face.  She shook her head, "I hoped... both of us did.  Shizune saw how you felt about them both, but Kakashi and Ibiki are very difficult to read.  We weren't sure they could accept another in their relationship... So they did?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, and was stunned as Tsunade leapt up and grabbed him like she used to when they were young.  "I'm so happy for you!"

 

Jiraiya laughed, "Yes, I can see that."  Then gave her a little hug before she resumed her seat.

 

His friends next astute words showed she understood the 'problem' was not instantly solved, at least not for Jiraiya.  "You still think they'll 'leave you'."  It was not a question, but a statement, she knew him better than anyone.

 

Jiraiya gave a light hearted shrug but his eyes were serious, at her worried look he quietly replied, "I'm terrified." 

 

She nodded, "Please give them a chance, don't accept and walk away if you feel... unwanted."  Tsunade gazed seriously in his eyes, "They need you... don't leave them like you did with Ibiki, don't decide they are better off without you.  Accept their love, you deserve that love and they deserve yours."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I will try to..."

 

"No, Jiraiya, don't try to do anything.  Just be yourself, you are a wonderful loving person.  They are not Angels, they are real, give them that love you have so much of and accept theirs.  Put your faith in them, they are worth it, they won't break your heart..."  her tone turned playful but her eyes glittered menacingly.  "If they do, your heart won't be the only one tore out."

 

Jiraiya gave a fond smile, "Always the violent one..."

 

She didn't deny it only replied, "I have to be, you're always the gentle one... too gentle.  I believe in them, you need to believe too."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he felt a bit better now that he'd talked to her, he wanted their love and to believe this time it would be forever.   "I will leave now so you can get some work done before Shizune chastises you... "

 

 Tsunade gave the paperwork on her desk a disgusted frown, "Right now I wish I knew a fire jutsu..." 

 

Jiraiya laughed and walked out of the office.  Before leaving the administration building he decided to go say hi to Iruka. 

 

\----------------------

 

Jiraiya walked in to the mission's office, Iruka looked busy and he was about to just leave when one of the nin who'd been writing a report looked up and saw him, then smiled and walked over.  They'd spoke a few times, Naoki Inuzuka was a happy, gregarious man... that made no effort to hide the fact that, like most of the Inuzuka clan, he was _very_ sexually active.

 

"Come out to the bar with me tonight, we always have a great time." He gave a light hearted grin.

 

Jiraiya smiled, but shook his head, "I'm afraid I have plans."

 

Jiraiya knew it had become well known that Kakashi and Ibiki were together now... Naoki thought he was free, no longer in a relationship, and meant no harm as he playfully coaxed,  "Aw come on, I know you'll have a great time!" 

 

Jiraiya didn't get a chance to reply before Kakashi had 'appeared' beside him, he'd been across the room writing his report.

 

_How many others in that office had felt the tender caress of the extraordinary lover...  A fiery surge of anger immediate washed  through him.  No... no one else would feel the affectionate strokes of his lover's hands..._

 

Kakashi leveled an icy look at Naoki, his posture read 'danger', and it was impossible to miss even if you were not an Inuzuka.  For the first time it occurred to Jiraiya that Tarento may have died for more than his words... _'Do you only like grotesque scarred monsters and psychopaths now'... 'they are the only ones that will have you...'_  It was possible Tarento was threatened for more than his lack of respect, it wasn't until he'd agreed to have sex with his former lover that he'd been threatened by Kakashi.

 

Jiraiya watched his lover calmly, it did not matter why it happened any more, only that if that if it was a contributing factor he'd need to reassure Kakashi more so he would not feel 'threatened'.  A display of affection in public would be uncomfortable for the reclusive man so he subtly soothed him with his words.

 

_Naoki had made a hasty retreat and when Kakashi looked up at him Jiraiya met his eyes with an adoring reassuring one and very softly murmured, "My Myobu."_

 

Kakashi's fierce gaze immediately calmed and for a moment there was a flash of love in his eyes before turning emotionless once more, but he was clearly still uneasy, he'd moved a bit closer subtly 'claiming' him and warning others against flirting with Jiraiya. 

 

Jiraiya didn't mind, he understood Kakashi's anxiety, he'd been alone so long and he was afraid of someone 'taking' the security of his partner's love from him.  Jiraiya waved to Iruka, "Think I will be on my way now." 

 

Iruka nodded and smiled, "Perhaps I will see you later, enjoy this wonderful weather!" 

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I will." 

 

_Iruka returned to his paperwork as Jiraiya walked out.  Kakashi placed his report in the basket, and for a moment he remained studying him.  Iruka looked up, "I'm sure your report is fine, have a good day off."_

_Kakashi could swear Iruka's eyes were more friendly now... like he approved of his 'warning' the others to stay away from Jiraiya.  People confused him.  He thought about Jiraiya's reply to the statement to 'have a good day' and he quietly mimicked his lover's reply, "I will."  Then turned and left._

 

\----------------------

 

Iruka smiled, Kakashi rarely spoke to others without it being necessary.  Jiraiya was so good for them both, two of the most damaged men in the village and his love was healing them... it had been an extremely hard path they traveled to get to this point but it all worked out.  He returned to reviewing reports, still smiling at the thought. 

 

\------------------------

 

As he walked out of the Admin. Building, Jiraiya contemplated how he would spend his day.  Since he was going to stay in the Leaf village for a while, he should find something to occupy his days... Tsunade's comment about being a sex therapist came to mind but only in jest, he did not wish to touch anyone but his lovers... He decided he would spend the day sitting in the market place and watch the couples, it was time to write another book.

 

But, after sitting a while, his good spirits had been dispelled.  The market had not been 'inspirational', instead it had brought to mind the many heartbreaks he'd experienced while there... not good thoughts and he decided now would be a good time to pick up a few things for their evening meal.

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

_After the way his peer had behaved... his clear interest in Jiraiya, Kakashi felt very uneasy.  He needed to see if Jiraiya's past lover,_ _M **ikomi, was a threat.  This one would not proposition Jiraiya like Tarento.  He would remove him if he was a threat.**_

****

**_But as he crouched outside the bedroom window of Jiraiya's former boyfriend it was clear he was not a threat.  He and a partner were engaged in sex, Kakashi's gaze swept around the room noting that many of the uniforms in the open closet were too large for_ ** _M **ikomi... his lover lived with him.**_

**_Kakashi watched the two men for several minutes... Jiraiya was better.  He lost interest and went to go meet Jiraiya, he'd be on his way to see if Ibiki was done for the day._ **

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

After bringing the ingredients back to Ibiki and Kakashi's house ,it was near the time when Ibiki often left work.  Jiraiya smiled in pleasure as Kakashi quietly joined him and they walked in to the building to see if their lover would be able to leave or had to stay a bit longer.  Jiraiya was surprised when, just inside the ANBU building, Kakashi took his arm stopping him and he turned to look down at him.

 

Without a word Kakashi took Jiraiya's hand and brushed his fingers over the silk mask, stroking his cheek with them.  Jiraiya smiled tenderly, after the incident in the Missions office earlier, Kakashi had needed to be reassured.  But also the highly intelligent man knew the other ANBU, his peers, would make it known that Jiraiya was not 'free' and that it was not a good idea to proposition him in anyway.  

 

_Kakashi was surprised by how greatly his lovers 'touch' relaxed him and by his immediate understanding of what he wanted.  Jiraiya gazed down at him with love, accepting his 'request' but not seeking to touch him further...  Although truthfully he now felt a strong urge to feel that exquisite touch again, Kakashi released his hand and they continued into their partner's office._

 

\-------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up at them as they entered then rose and walked over to give Jiraiya a soft kiss and gather his Saiai against him.  He felt his lithe beloved's erection lightly pressed against him,  something Jiraiya had said or done had aroused his Saiai.  He teasingly lifted an eyebrow, even the mask did not hide the flush of his Saiai's fair skin and he chuckled, "So tempting.  I wish I could leave, but I need to stay for a bit before I'm free for the night."**

 

Jiraiya watched Ibiki and Kakashi with fond amusement, Kakashi was not the only one aroused now as Kakashi's hand stroked over his partner's clothbound erection.  Ibiki gave a low groan, but did not protest his lover's provocative caress.  After a moment Kakashi reluctantly drew his hand back.

 

Ibiki smiled, "Just a bit longer, then I'll be home."

 

Kakashi nodded, he turned to leave and Ibiki wrapped an arm around his waist drawing him back against him, his swollen length pressed against Kakashi's ass and his lover trembled at the temptation and 'retaliated' by turning to face his partner drew down his mask and kissed him hungrily.

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, those two were very 'playful' tonight.  Kakashi broke the kiss and looked at Jiraiya his eyes dark with passion... that was all it took to make Jiraiya's cock flush so hard it strained the fabric of his pants, although concealed behind his tunic Kakashi's gaze immediately dropped to his groin... something that only encouraged his erection to make a more sincere effort to free itself from the restraint of his pants.

 

**Kakashi drew his mask up and Ibiki returned to his desk as they walked out.   Ibiki felt like smiling even after they'd left, he hadn't felt this happy in a very long time, he couldn't believe how blessed he was to have the love of both the men he loved... the miracle of finding they loved each other as well was like a gift from the heavens.**

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

**THE END OF CHAPTER 16**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 16\. LEAD ME OUT OF THE DARK (CROWN THE EMPIRE)


	17. I LIVE FOR YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 17)

**I LIVE FOR YOU (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 17)**

 

\---------------------

 

During their walk home Jiraiya managed to calm himself, which was good because his erection had made walking very uncomfortable.  When they walked in Kakashi took off his mask and outer gear, he was now clad only in the formfitting black uniform clothes.  Kakashi had no idea how incredibly sexy he was, he walked over and stood before Jiraiya looking up enigmatically at him.

 

Jiraiya wasn't sure he should touch him intimately, he wanted to... they said they wanted him.  That they wanted his love, but Ibiki could feel threatened.  He couldn't do anything that could cause either man to send him away.

 

_Kakashi saw the longing in Jiraiya's eyes and the fear unhidden, so honest, so open... he wanted his touch.  "I want you to touch me... please."  He longed to feel the caress of his lover's wonderful hands over his body.  The stroke over the mask earlier was just a tease of what he desired... and the reason he was aroused when he entered his beloved's office._

 

Although his voice was emotionless at the beginning the last word was a true expression of need that he could not deny.  Jiraiya moved closer and drew him into his arms, tenderly placing kisses over his face, the smaller man closed his eyes in pleasure and the tension seeped from his posture. 

 

_Kakashi relaxed into the feeling of warmth... of love._

_"You feel so good in my arms."  Jiraiya said softly and Kakashi opened his eyes to look up into his._

_"I like your touch."  Again Kakashi could not find the words to express himself but the understanding and adoration in his lover's gaze showed he understood._

_He replied, "I like holding you, looking into your eyes and feeling you against me.  I do not want to lose this."_

_Kakashi stroked Jiraiya's face softly, "Please kiss me."  Jiraiya gently cradled his face lightly brushing his lips over Kakashi's, the tender affection felt so good, he needed more.  He pressed forward into his lover's kiss and the skilled lips tempted him until his heart was racing, yes he was aroused but he wanted to... be touched.  Kakashi pressed his body against his partner's, feeling his large cock swollen with desire for him, but Jiraiya made no move to touch him sexually._

 

Jiraiya lightly stroked his back slipping slowly down to above the curve of his ass and his seductive Myobu gave a soft delighted whimper... that sound filled Jiraiya heart with happiness. 

 

Kakashi looked in his eyes and Jiraiya could see he wanted something but it was more than sex... he did not slip his hands into his clothes until his lover asked again with longing.  "Touch me, I want your touch."

 

The enticing man was aroused, but suddenly Jiraiya knew what he'd been struggling to ask for.  It was more than sexual stimulation , Kakashi wanted to feel his hands on his bare flesh caressing him. 

 

Jiraiya continued tenderly kissing his face as his hands slipped up under his slender lover's shirt and his hands glided lightly over his chest up to his shoulders drawing his shirt off and brushing gently down his back.  Kakashi was trembling his lips parted in sexy soft pants and his quiet mew of delight was accompanied by his eyes closing as he pressed into his kisses. 

 

He'd been starved of contact , denied himself the pleasure of touching and being touched and now desired it so greatly he was thrilled at the sensations he was getting from it.  Jiraiya moved to kissing down his throat and along the top of his shoulder as his hands gently massaged Kakashi's back.  "So beautiful...  Myobu..."

 

_Myobu... a pure-hearted Kitsune, a good spirit... and Jiraiya truly thought of **him** like that!  When the kind compassionate man looked at him he felt special, cherished and cared for._

 

Kakashi's eyes opened, "I want to touch you." 

 

Jiraiya nodded and brought his hand to the fastening of his shirt and gave an appreciative  moan as lover's soft  hands bared and stroked over his chest, this sent a flash of excitement through Kakashi and he quickly stripped Jiraiya's shirt off. 

 

Jiraiya continued caressing over his sensitive skin again, kissing his shoulders and upper chest lightly.  The sensual man gasped and mewed trembling in delight.

 

Jiraiya lifted his head to kiss him tenderly as he skillfully massaged down his spine, then broke the kiss and watched the ecstasy on his lover's face.  The incredible bi-colored eyes were full of emotion; pleasure and... love.

 

_Kakashi curiously brushed his fingers over Jiraiya's nipple and felt the jump of his cock against him as the large man softly murmured, "Mmm... that feels good."  Kakashi's eyes dropped to his lover's trapped flesh, "I want to touch more.... I want you to touch me more."_

 

Jiraiya smiled gently, he kissed his way down Kakashi's body, then paused looking up at him.  At the yearning in his lover's eyes he continued further, unfastening his pants and drawing them down, then removing them.  Teasingly  feathering slow strokes over his hips and pelvis then down his thighs and lightly up over his ass.

 

Jiraiya could see how very aroused the enthralling man was, "Would you like me to take you in my mouth?"  Kakashi's breathing sped and he nodded.

 

Jiraiya's hand brushed down over his pelvis to cup his balls stroking them gently as his tongue traced over the flushed head of his lover's cock.  Kakashi cried out, giving a soft instinctive buck into the pleasure. 

 

Jiraiya was extremely aroused but this was far better than sex, hearing the cries of rapture he could bring from the erotic man's lips.  Jiraiya slipped down to cover the aching flesh, teasing him until he was giving fevered cries of need, then the motion of his mouth slowed and his hands cupped his partner's hips urging him to rock into the temptation. 

 

Kakashi allowed Jiraiya's hands to guide him until he was fucking his mouth urgently, then Jiraiya stroked down over his firm ass as he took the enthralling length into his throat.  Kakashi howled in rapture panting and whimpering in ecstasy as his hips bucked in, cumming and satisfying his body's strong need.  Jiraiya released his sated flesh and slipped up to cradle the trembling man to him.  Just being able to hold his lover brought Jiraiya strong pleasure, only a very brief time had passed and yet he loved both men so strongly now that he could not imagine living without them.

 

\------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki walked in and both his lover's heads turned toward him.  His Saiai with love... his Koishii with nervous guilt... Jiraiya still feared being 'sent away'.  Ibiki responding to the sight in the most honest expression of his thoughts... by walking over and stripping, his cock rigid with need.  Kakashi's eyes lit with interest, then delight as Ibiki stroked over Jiraiya's ass and his husky voice asked, "Jiraiya I need you..."**

 

Jiraiya moaned, "Koishii, I want you!"  Ibiki wasn't upset, he desired him!  The rush of relief left him aching with lust,  he yearned to feel his Koishii's body against his!

 

**Ibiki wanted to move past his limits so greatly.  Although a bit hesitant to do so his hands caressed over Jiraiya's cloth covered erection, but he didn't have to try to strip him, Kakashi was already eagerly doing it.**

 

_He was ecstatic at the thought of getting to see his lovers fuck... it was so very exciting!  Hearing their cries and seeing their bodies meeting, Ibiki's cock thrusting into the eager body of Jiraiya..._

**Ibiki could see how extremely this aroused his Saiai, the thrilled look in his eyes and the rapid breaths... his beloved definitely enjoyed watching it.**

 

Jiraiya moaned at the soft lick Kakashi gave the head of his cock as he drew his pants down, but listened for any sign that the sight of Kakashi sinking down before him was distressing his Koishii. 

 

Kakashi rose and stepped back allowing Jiraiya to step free of his pants, Ibiki turned him and kissed him passionately.  Jiraiya groaned at the depth of his desire, but even while his body grew urgently needy he drew back and looked for any signs that Kakashi was uneasy with his lover touching him.

 

_Kakashi saw Jiraiya's anxious look and correctly interpreted it, "I want to see him fucking you... our partner."  He wanted to hear their cries of pleasure, to see their lust and hear their gratification as they reached their climax.  _

 

Jiraiya stroked his face, then gave in to the rapture of his Koishii's touch, moaning in ecstasy as Ibiki's hands caressed his ass.  Ibiki drew Jiraiya into the bedroom and then lay on his back, Jiraiya delightedly slipped up to over him pressing down into his lover's cock and crying out in pleasure as his beloved bucked into the drop of his body. 

 

_Kakashi watched his heart pounding in excitement and rapidly growing desire, as Jiraiya moaned and urgently fucked himself on the hard length.  Jiraiya moved so enticingly, his body dropping down to cover his lover's rigid flesh, rising and then slipping down to take it deep again._

 

**Jiraiya writhed on top of him so seductively, his cries so tempting Ibiki was struggling not to cum.  When his lover shifted his hips to guide his cock to his pleasure spot he grasped his hips bucking rapidly into it and Jiraiya cried out in rapture as he came.  Ibiki groaned and gave a last buck, sating his need, then drew Jiraiya down and kissed him.  But his beloved broke the kiss after a moment to look nervously back at Kakashi.**

 

He was so afraid he'd see jealousy on his face but what he saw was only extreme arousal.  Jiraiya's eyes dropped to Kakashi's erection then shifted back to Ibiki.  He wanted to caress Kakashi's sexy body again and  hear the sensual man cry out in ecstasy at his touch... but he couldn't risk hurting his Koishii.

 

**Jiraiya looked so uncertain, it was clear he wanted to touch Kakashi, but he had not lost any of his fear that he would be rejected and sent away if he did.  Ibiki cupped his cheek, "Koishii, touch him, we both want you."  **

 

Jiraiya tenderly kissed him and glanced up to see Kakashi looking at his ass.  It was so very tempting... but would it be distressing to his Koishii?  Watching them could trigger bad memories ... but that wasn't all, the truth was more than that.  Being fucked was something his Koishii could not bear, would this make him feel left out?  Jealous that Jiraiya could do something with Kakashi that he could not, Kakashi was Ibiki's partner, not his...   

 

**Ibiki knew Jiraiya wouldn't ask their lover, so he did, "Saiai, do you wish to fuck him?"  Kakashi gave a hesitant shake of his head, he looked a bit uneasy.  Ibiki met Jiraiya's eyes, it was clear his Saiai did but something was bothering him.  Ibiki nuzzled Jiraiya and murmured, "My extraordinary Koishii, help him ... soothe him."**

 

Jiraiya gave him a loving kiss then rose off Ibiki's sated flesh.  Lightly he stroked Kakashi's face, an offer he hungrily pressed into, then leaned forward and traced his lips with his tongue.  Kakashi trembled in arousal, immediately leaning in to deepen the kiss.  Jiraiya continued tempting him until he was whimpering into their kiss then drew back slightly and softly asked, "Do you want me?"  Kakashi didn't reply and Jiraiya gently asked.  "Are you afraid you'll hurt me?" 

 

_Kakashi's felt his cheeks heat as he replied, "I don't know what to do... I can't give you pleasure."_

_Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, "You will give me pleasure, but only do what you wish, never do something because you feel it is expected of you... only do what brings you pleasure, if you are getting pleasure then I am.  Ask, I will give you anything."_

_Kakashi looked at Ibiki, he wasn't sure how his beloved would feel about that, but his partner's loving gaze was full of support.  "I want to..."_

_Jiraiya's hands lightly massaged his back as he lay down and drew Kakashi down over him... it reminded him very much of the first time he'd had sex... and brought a longing for the feel of the warmth and tender affection he'd gotten... and the ecstasy of having Jiraiya in him._

_But he wasn't sure exactly what to say, what the loving man did was not actually fucking him... his hand slipped down to stroke Jiraiya's cock tentatively._

_Jiraiya cupped his cheek,  "Anything Myobu..."_

_Kakashi's eyes met the adoring eyes of his lover and he gave his erection another stroke.  Then looked up at Ibiki, relaxed and just stated, "I want him in me."_

 

**His Saiai was not asking for permission... he was asking for his involvement and Ibiki gave him a loving smile.  Ibiki took the lube and dampened his finger as Kakashi started kissing Jiraiya.  His Saiai mewed into their kiss as Ibiki teased his body, tempting him until he was loose and eager for Jiraiya.  Then surprised a moan out of his Koishii by caressing up his thigh, Jiraiya shifted Kakashi slightly and Ibiki's slick hand stroked up his cock.  He met Jiraiya's eyes and drew more lube coating the engorged length heavily.  His Koishii's gaze was thankful, Ibiki understood his gentle beloved was concerned about causing their lover pain.**

 

_Jiraiya's hand cupped Kakashi's face softly, "Slowly, no pain."_

_Kakashi nodded, he positioned himself above his partner's  erection and pressed slightly, Jiraiya's hands massaged his back... it was so like the first time... the tender embrace, the feel of his body slowly being stretched to accept Jiraiya with in him, Kakashi met his lover's adoring gaze._

_"So beautiful." The gentle man crooned lovingly._

_Kakashi pressed down again and this time the head of Jiraiya's cock slipped in, he was much larger than Ibiki.  Kakashi tensed at the spike of pain, but quickly relaxed as he felt his lover's gentle caresses his soft murmurs. "So amazing... so sensual..."_

_Kakashi looked at him in surprise.  It still stunned him that the extraordinary man felt that way about him, thought he was special.  _

_Kakashi placed affectionate kisses over his lover's chest, his body had loosened to accept Jiraiya's arousal and slowly he slipped down feeling the hard flesh sinking deep into him.  Jiraiya rubbed his back lightly and reminded, "Only do what you wish..."_

_Kakashi licked over Jiraiya's nipple and his words ended in a gasp.  He felt Jiraiya's cock swell within him and the jump of his muscles as he resisted bucking at the tease.  He looked up curiously to meet his lover's eyes, and received the 'permission' he desired._

_"I want your touch... I will not hurt you." Jiraiya reassured._

_Kakashi kissed him, "I know."  His mouth slipped down to lick his partner's nipple, feeling the large man trembling beneath him, then looked up as he rocked his hips slipping easily on the engorged flesh and moaning breathless with pleasure, "I want you all the way in me."_  

 

Jiraiya nodded and cupped his hips stilling them then watched his face for any sign of anxiety or pain as he gradually pressed in to the base.    Kakashi lay still on him a moment then uncertainly he slightly rocked his hips,  Jiraiya stilled his hips and slowly rocked his and the faint hint of anxiety in lover's eyes was replaced by ecstasy. 

 

_Kakashi moaned and passionately kissed his chest the feel of the massive organ so deep had left him uncertain, but when Jiraiya had held his hips and gently moved within him the pleasure was astounding!  "More!" he panted and quivered at the exquisite stimulation of his lover's huge cock rocking into him in slow careful strokes._

 

Kakashi's wanton cries brought Jiraiya a great deal of pleasure as did the tender caress of Ibiki's hand, the reassurance that he was not upsetting his Koishii.  Still, he needed to bring his Myobu to climax now, he would make him sore if he continued.  As he rocked his hips steadily, he slipped Kakashi up the length and his mouth teased his erotic lover's throat up to his ear.  Kakashi howled in rapture as his tongue started tracing the shell.  Very quickly he was drove to a fevered state and when Jiraiya flicked into the center his body shook at the intense pleasure and he came.  Then panted and cried out as Jiraiya gently blew over the moist flesh, and as he shifted his erection out of his lover's tight passage, his tongue flicked the sensitive entrance again. 

 

_Kakashi writhed in pleasure crying out rapturously, his cock jumping until he was too sated to react to the stimulation, he lay on Jiraiya and panted, feeling the glorious feel of his loving arms holding him as his body calmed._

 

**Jiraiya gave a surprised moan as he felt Ibiki's hand enclose his erection and begin stroking him.  Jiraiya met his eyes and Ibiki replied to the unasked question. "I want to... I want to feel you, to watch you."  He needed to see his Koishii's eyes fill with ecstasy at his touch and bring him the pleasure that had been denied to him for far too long.**

 

_Kakashi slipped off Jiraiya's chest and he watched Ibiki's hand, then caressed Jiraiya's body as the skilled lover trembled beneath their touch.  Jiraiya cried out his cock jumping as he came, Kakashi watched with extreme interest, he was curious if Jiraiya tasted different than Ibiki.  He dipped his mouth down to lick the cum from Jiraiya taut stomach, then looked up in surprise as both his lovers gave deep groans._

 

**Jiraiya shook his head as he met Ibiki's eyes, "He has no idea how incredibly sensual he is,"  Ibiki nodded his agreement then surprised not only himself but both his lovers by cupping Kakashi's head and kissing him deeply.  He wanted to freely do what he desired, to not be held back by restrictions anymore... he ignored the taste focusing only on the feel of his beloved's mouth, the soft lips parted for him, welcoming his tongue.  One day he wished to have so much more, to find pleasure in his lover's tongue in his mouth... but he couldn't, not yet.**

 

Jiraiya was amazed, his Koishii was so strong, he was working past his limits... his beloved was extraordinary!

 

When Ibiki broke the kiss Kakashi's finger lightly traced his lips, "I liked your kiss." 

 

Jiraiya smiled and Ibiki gave a soft laugh, "That's good.  I love kissing you."

 

Kakashi took their breath away as he gave a little smile in return, "I'm glad."

 

Ibiki stroked his partner's gorgeous face again then looked at Jiraiya and with clear amusement teased, "I think we'd better shower, I got a bit distracted and if we don't leave the bedroom I will find more distractions to keep me from cooking our evening meal."

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

_They went into shower but the sight of the water trailing down Ibiki's chest tempted him, he wanted to taste his lover's damp skin._

_Kakashi leaned in and curiously licked the beaded water from Ibiki’s chest and was broken out of his contemplation by the quiet hiss and ripple of his beloved's muscles as his partner reacted to the feel of his mouth._

_Kakashi drew back slightly and looked up at Ibiki, fascinated by the desire in his beloved's eyes h_ _is hand slipped down to trace the shaft of his lover’s rapidly hardening cock,  Ibiki closed his eyes a look of rapture on his scarred face and a soft moan escaping his lips._

 

**Ibiki opened his eyes to look** **down at the enthralling man that was giving him such deep pleasure.  Watching Jiraiya touch him had taught his Saiai many incredible teases that left him breathless with desire.**

 

Jiraiya watched with a little smile, Kakashi had a look of wonder on his face at the way he was able to make Ibiki react, his eyes were slowly darkening in passion once more.

 

**His Saiai gracefully started to slip down to take him in his mouth, Ibiki had no doubt his lover** **would be able to do amazing things with his mouth, but this wasn’t a good time** **.  He caught Kakashi’s arm drawing him in to lay pressed against his body, his mouth lowering to gently nibble his sensitive** **throat.  "Not right now Saiai, I just can't..."  As greatly as he wished it didn't, tasting the cum in his lover's mouth as he kissed him had left him a bit uneasy.**

 

Kakashi nodded he looked over at Jiraiya with a plea in his eyes, it was clear he wanted to give his partner pleasure but wasn't sure what to do.

 

Jiraiya brushed Ibiki's face softly, "Can I touch you?" 

 

Ibiki nodded with only the slightest hesitation then groaned in ecstasy as his lover's hand enclosed and drew on his cock.

 

Kakashi regarded him curiously, then gasped and bucked as Jiraiya's other hand enclosed his erection as well, stroking them both slowly and bringing ecstatic cries.  Listening with pleasure to the wordless pleas for more from their sexy lover and deep moans from his Koishii.  He teased them both a bit longer, then cupped their erections so Ibiki's cock rubbed against Kakashi's, his Koishii was too aroused now and would not become distressed by the feel of his lover's cock. 

 

Ibiki's hand joined his and after a moment Jiraiya took Kakashi's hand and guided him into lacing his fingers through Ibiki's and wrapping their joined hands around their swollen lengths.  It didn’t take more than a second and Kakashi had matched Ibiki's rhythm the two men panting and quickly escalating toward their climax.  Jiraiya continued to tempt them, their moans at his touch and at the sensation of their erections sliding against one another as they fucked the tight tunnel rapidly, delighted him.

 

_His knees were weak in pleasure and his fevered groans grew breathless as Jiraiya's fingers continued their tease on their engorged flesh, the soft tingle of chakra playing over the sensitive heads with every thrust into their joined hands until they could not resist any longer.  Kakashi cried out, bucking as he sated his body and he felt Ibiki's cock buck and jump as he came._

 

**Ibiki's hands slid down the exquisite slender figure of his Saiai, embracing every curve until they rested cupping his lover's tight ass and pressing the slim man against his hard body.  "So sexy Saiai... every inch of you."**

**When Ibiki drew back he stroked Jiraiya's cheek and once more wondered how could he ever have been so blessed to have the love of the two incredible men.**

 

Kakashi was clearly delighted as Ibiki hugged him tightly so his firm chest pressed up against his body and he started to kiss him passionately.  Jiraiya smiled affectionately at his lovers, even though sated Kakashi was very excited but it was clear that he enjoyed the sweet embrace of his partner in more than a sexual way.   

 

It was a feeling Jiraiya understood, when Ibiki had stroked his cheek, it was the reassurance he needed that he was still wanted. 

 

Yes, this was such a beautiful dream...

 

\-------------------------------

 

They knew that to touch each other would result in another round of sex so they washed _themselves_ , then dried and dressed. 

 

_When they went to the kitchen, Kakashi paused before the stool looking back at Jiraiya, this was his place... his stool, he should sit there._

_The kind man smiled and brushed a light caress over his cheek, "Please Myobu... I want you to sit, you have not taken anything away from me."_

_Kakashi nodded, but remained a bit uneasy as he sat, then his cheeks heated in a blush and he looked up over his shoulder at Jiraiya, he now stood behind him.  Kakashi could feel his back resting against his lover's pelvis.  Jiraiya gave an affectionately amused smile at the flush of his cheeks and after a moment they both turned their attention to Ibiki's cooking._

_Once he got used to the unexpected feel of Jiraiya's body against his back Kakashi quickly found he liked it, it gave him a feeling of warmth and acceptance... the feeling of being protected and cared for.  Yes, technically he did not need to be 'protected', but he cherished the feeling anyway._

_Being important to someone wanting their comfort and protection and wishing to comfort and protect them... it was something he'd only known with Ibiki, then as he came to know Jiraiya it had slowly become something he wanted with him as well._

 

\---------------------------------

 

After a wonderful meal, and clean up, they returned to the bedroom... except for Jiraiya who paused in the doorway and gave them an adoring smile.  He should let Ibiki and Kakashi have private time with their life partner, not interfere in the bond the two men shared.  "I should go..." 

 

Jiraiya didn't miss the flash of anxiety in Kakashi's eyes and reassured, "I'm not leaving, but you both should get some sleep and I can see you in the morning."

 

**It bothered Ibiki deeply that Jiraiya was still being 'left out' and he asked.  "Koishii, will you lay with us for a bit?"**

**Jiraiya smiled, "Yes."**

**Ibiki was certain his Koishii had no idea the strong look of relief that shown in his eyes at the invitation.  Jiraiya still expected them to brush him aside... and why wouldn't he?  Ibiki was deeply ashamed at the knowledge that it had been exactly how he'd treated him for over a year... used and pushed aside, he was so very cruel to his Koishii.  There was no way to change the past but he would do everything he could to give him the love and stability he deserved for the rest of their lives.**

**Kakashi slipped up to beside Ibiki and watched Jiraiya as he cupped his partner from the other side, both stroked softly over Ibiki's sensitive skin.**

**Their touches tempted him but he needed this more than sex, the feeling of their love and the feel of the two men he loved laying beside him.  They lay cuddled together, just touching each other tenderly.  When Kakashi yawned, Jiraiya kissed Ibiki and got up off the bed, "Have pleasant dreams."**

**Ibiki smiled at his lover's words, it was a nice thought, although highly unlikely.  Kakashi rose and kissed Jiraiya, then slipped into his own bed.**

 

Jiraiya smiled at them, "I will see you in the morning."  Then returned to the living room and lay on the couch looking up at the ceiling as he tried to calm his thoughts so he could sleep. 

 

He didn't want this to ever end, but he'd convinced himself too many times that his partner would want him to stay forever and had his hope crushed... this would end.  It was much too perfect to be permanent, the love of two exceptional men, he had to enjoy this time of bliss and try not to think of what would eventually come. 

 

He didn't wish to give up even a moment beside them and fought his urge to take his blanket and lay on the floor near them, he couldn't, it would hurt them to know he wished to be there but had no bed.  Even if the room was large enough he would not have wanted a bed... no, it was not likely they'd wish him to stay long enough for it to be worth buying one for him.  But all that was a moot point since there was not room anyway.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

_Breakfast went much like the day before except Kakashi did not follow Ibiki out the door, it was his day off after a mission, although standard missions were effortless  and he did not need the time off, Tsunade had always insisted he take it and  'Go blow off some steam', whatever that meant._

 

Jiraiya watched Ibiki leave then turned to look at Kakashi, the reclusive man probably wanted to be able to just relax as he had before they'd asked for him to live with them.  "I can leave and let you have..."

 

Kakashi shook his head and interrupted, "I want to touch you."

 

_Jiraiya looked a bit surprised, but his gaze was passionate, "I would like that."_

_Kakashi looked at his mouth with longing, but he wanted so much more than the skilled man's kiss, "I want your clothes off... I want to touch all of you."_

_Jiraiya nodded and stripped, his cock already semi erect just from hearing the desire in his voice, it tempted him._

_Kakashi sank down to his knees slowly ran his hands over Jiraiya's muscular thighs hearing his breath catch and seeing his cock jump eagerly at his touch... but what really made him so excited he trembled was the look of passion and desire in his lover's dark eyes.  Kakashi's fingers traced up to brush lightly over his partner's balls and Jiraiya gave a soft husky moan, "Your touch feels so good."_

_Kakashi felt a rush of excitement and his hands shook as his strokes moved up to the silky flesh of his lover's pelvis... his eyes now riveted to the way Jiraiya's cock had responded to his touch the engorged length now stood temptingly before him, flushed with need.  Kakashi dipped his lips to the smooth head kissing it and hearing the low muted  groan his experienced lover gave but that was the only indication of how desperately he wanted him.  Kakashi looked up to meet Jiraiya's eyes and they held affection as well as desire.  The extraordinary man's fingers brushed tenderly over his cheek,  Kakashi felt cherished not just lusted for, he felt loved._

_His hand was bolder now cupping Jiraiya's balls as he took the head of his partner's cock in his mouth and sucked, then paused to explore the swollen flesh with strokes of his tongue.  He could feel Jiraiya trembling, wanting him, but unwilling to act on it.  Kakashi drew back and rose molding himself against the larger man's body and feeling his erection against him. He wanted more, he wanted to feel their bodies touch.  He stripped his clothes off and once more pressed his body against Jiraiya's, the feel of his lover's warm skin against his was incredible!_

 

Jiraiya swore the sensual looks the enthralling man was giving him were nearly as great of a tease as the wonderful touches, Kakashi looked up to meet his eyes, "Show me how to give you pleasure."

 

Jiraiya honesty responded, "Every touch you give me brings me pleasure."  Then kissed his brow, "Do you trust me?  I will not hurt you."

_"Yes." Kakashi knew his gentle lover would never hurt him.  Jiraiya turned him in his arms, kissing and nibbling on the side of his throat, and he gave loud mews of need.  Kakashi could feel the firm press of his partner's cock against his ass, as Jiraiya teased his throat it rocked against him, pressed against the part of his ass.  Kakashi whimpered and trembled in delight as his amazing lover's mouth slowly moved up his neck toward his sensitive ear._

 

Jiraiya was extremely aroused with the trusting uninhibited reactions from the smaller man, his every touch brought wanton cries.  He stroked down over his taut stomach to his hard cock but didn't pause nudging his legs apart his hand cupped his lover's balls, gently rolling them and his finger softly brushed  the tender expanse of skin behind them.  Kakashi's breathless cries of ecstasy were accompanied by his press back into the rigid length of Jiraiya's cock, the aching flesh rubbing firmly over his tempting entrance with every thrust of his hips.

 

His arm wrapped around his waist holding him firmly and his other hand slipped up to enclose Kakashi's erection, stroking it as his mouth moved up to trace the shell of his ear.  Jiraiya delighted in his lover's seductive howls and feeling his muscles flexing as he tried to writhe, breathlessly wailing as his hips bucked wantonly.  Jiraiya's tongue reached the sensitive passage of his ear and he lightly thrust the tip of his tongue into his ear.  Kakashi wailed his whole body tensing, his ass clenching tight around Jiraiya's turgid length, as he reached his climax and remaining bowed into his touch trembling as the soft flicks of Jiraiya's tongue fucked his ear until his cock jumped again in a second orgasm. 

 

Jiraiya loosened his grasp, then moaned in rapture as he gave a last thrust against his gorgeous Myobu's firm ass and came.  He gladly cradled his trembling lover gently to him as he regained his breath and his body calmed, then placed a soft kiss on his shoulder. 

 

_Kakashi looked back over his shoulder, the tender adoration in his lover's eyes was so profound that all thought of sex was swept away as he turned and embraced Jiraiya to him.  The warm solid feel of his body pressed against his brought a sense of peace._

_Just as it was with Ibiki, here embraced against his partner, his loving arms around him... there was no death, no pain... no more loneliness.  Ibiki would never walk away and he would do anything he could to be sure Jiraiya wouldn't either._

 

\---------------------------------

 

**Ibiki walked out the door of the ANBU building and felt a rush of pleasure so strong he smiled, his lovers were just walking up to see if he could come home yet... they came to meet him, wanted him... He was so lucky to have the two amazing men love him and he was extremely grateful that he had them, there wasn't a person in the village that was as lucky as he was.**

 

Jiraiya's heart filled with joy at the brief smile his beloved had given, they were in public and he'd still smiled at them!  Jiraiya glanced down at Kakashi and saw the longing on his face briefly, he knew the socially reserved man wished to express emotion to embrace and greet their lover and yet he couldn't.  His Myobu was too uncomfortable in public to react and his happiness and love was 'caught' within him unable to be expressed.

 

_Ibiki walked up to them and Kakashi wanted to reach out and touch him but he could feel the villagers and nin all around him, they were looking at him and he just couldn't do it.  From the love and adoration in Ibiki's eyes it was clear he knew, and just that understanding gave him the strength to softly brush his lover's fingers with his own before dropping to his side once more._

_Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya and saw his loving smile... Jiraiya knew, he understood.  Both his lovers knew he wished to greet Ibiki and was unable, they accepted it, they accepted him.  The thought brought a warmth that felt so wonderful it was stunning!  Having someone understand how he felt, he'd never imagined how extraordinary it could be to have someone understand him until he'd received Ibiki's love... and now it was even better with Jiraiya understanding too.  It gave him a sense of security that he'd never realized he'd desired until he'd received it._

 

Kakashi watched Ibiki stroke Jiraiya's cheek, the longing in his eyes was almost painful to watch and as they turned to walk back to the house they left the busy area of the village behind.  Now there were only occasional villagers and they were busy with their evening chores.  Jiraiya dropped slightly behind his body sufficient to provide a minimal shield from anyone looking their direction and Ibiki looked over at him with understanding and then looked at his Saiai and caressed his hand softly, Kakashi's eyes filled with love.

 

_Kakashi saw where Jiraiya was walking then his eyes swept around the sparse villagers... Jiraiya was shielding him and allowing him to be able to enjoy Ibiki's touch... one day he wanted to be free to touch them... Ibiki was like him before, but his beloved could touch now, someday he would be able to as well._

 

Jiraiya enjoyed watching his lover's, the two men were so deeply in love, it was stunning.  They were perfect for each other.

 

When they walked in the door to their house Jiraiya was surprised by both his lovers turning and caressing him, Ibiki kissed him passionately as Kakashi stripped Jiraiya's shirt off placing light kisses over his back. 

 

Jiraiya moaned into their kiss at the glorious feel of his lovers against him, but in the back of his mind he remained on watch for either of the two men becoming uncomfortable at their partner touching him.  Quite to the contrary, he only saw strong arousal in both his lovers eyes.  As Ibiki broke their kiss, Kakashi slipped around to the front quickly baring his body and brushing his fingertips over Jiraiya's sensitive skin as he slipped down to remove his pants. 

 

Kakashi stroked up his torso as he rose and Jiraiya felt his sexy Koishii's nude body embracing him from behind he groaned at the overwhelming pleasure of their touches his body aching with need.  Ibiki kissed Jiraiya's throat, "Koishii I want you."

 

 Jiraiya glanced at Kakashi, he had drew back slightly his eyes on Ibiki.  They were dark with desire as he  begged him, "I want to see you fuck our sexy lover!" 

 

Then Kakashi stroked Jiraiya's chest, "I love watching you."

 

Jiraiya caressed his Myobu's beautiful face lovingly, then gave in to his lust, "Please Koishii, I need you!" 

 

**Ibiki embraced him and** **trailed passionate kisses down the side of Jiraiya's** **throat then** **place light kisses along the back of his neck.  He teased them both pressing slowly into his beloved's eager body, groaning loudly, "Koishii you feel so good!"**

 

_Kakashi was trembling in excitement.  His cock strained at the cloth of his pants but he was too riveted by the sight of his lovers to care that he was still clothed.  His eager gaze fixed on Ibiki's erection sinking into Jiraiya's welcoming body._

_As Ibiki started slowly thrusting, Kakashi's hand wrapped around Jiraiya's cock feeling the silky flesh over the hard length as he stroked and watching the ecstasy on his face._

 

The feel of his seductive lover's touch as his Koishii fucked him was heavenly!  It did not take long for Jiraiya to reach orgasm and his cries of rapture as he came were joined by Ibiki's as his body drew on his beloved's cock and brought his climax.

 

Ibiki kissed the side of his throat and withdrew, then reached out and drew Kakashi into a deep kiss as Jiraiya stripped the slender man from behind, massaging and kneading his body and as he drew his pants down and off.  He remained knelt behind Kakashi and parted his firm cheeks licking over his lover's sensitive rim and feeling his shivers of pleasure as he moaned into his kiss with Ibiki.

 

**The sounds Kakashi made at the skilled caress of their partner's hands was very exciting...  and the feel of his Saiai against him as Jiraiya licked and teased his ass, tempted him tremendously and he rapidly grew aroused again.**

 

_Kakashi's need was growing fevered at the touches his experienced lovers gave him.  The sensations were unbelievable, and brought him so strong of pleasure that he broke their kiss and gasped for air between loud cries of rapture._

 

Jiraiya left the temptation of their lover's entrance, kissing each cheek, then kissing up his spine as he rose.

 

_Jiraiya cupped his body from the rear and_ _Kakashi’s other hand flew up to brace himself against Ibiki's shoulder.  His legs were weak at the intense pleasure_ _as the skilled_ _man stroked his erection and gently fondled his balls with his other hand, brushing lightly the sensitive strip behind them._

 

Jiraiya listened to the blissful mews from his sexy lover, and the feel of his Koishii's cock flushing hard between the two men showed his beloved's 'renewed interest'.

 

Ibiki gave his partner's throat a teasing nibble, Kakashi trembled and then begged. "Please, I want to feel you inside me." 

 

Jiraiya's eyes met Ibiki's if he wished to be fucked he had to be prepared.  Jiraiya released Kakashi and Ibiki drew the erotic man into the bedroom.

 

_Kakashi gave an excited shiver as Ibiki lay on the bed and drew him up to lay on top of him.  Jiraiya had gotten the lube and now he masterfully teased him, leaving him aching with need.  His body rapidly loosening at the promise of the strong pleasure of feeling his beloved inside him and every rock of his hips bringing waves of ecstasy._

**When his Saiai was loose enough he shifted his lover up to seated then eased him down to rest with his cock within his beloved's amazing body.**

 

Jiraiya smiled as he watched the pleasure on his lovers faces, his hand enclosed Kakashi's erection, giving short teasing strokes as his Myobu panted and cried out in delight.  He continued tempting the enthralling man until he was bucking into his hand and rocking back into Ibiki's thrusts.  Jiraiya  waited and as Kakashi neared release he blocked his orgasm with a firm touch pressed to the base, waiting for his lover's urge to pass, then resumed teasing him.

 

Ibiki was moaning loudly his lover's body held tight to his cock and if he hadn't just fucked his Koishii he would have never been able to resist cumming!   Kakashi's fevered cries strained his control greatly, as did the idea that his Koishii was controlling their lover, teasing him to desperate hunger. 

 

Kakashi was trembling hard now and giving breathless cries, Jiraiya straddled his Koishii's lower legs as he continued the tease of their lover.  As Kakashi quickly neared his orgasm again, Jiraiya released his arousal and grasped his hips tilting them and listening to the rapturous howls he gave as Ibiki thrust into his pleasure spot.  Kakashi arched as he climaxed, Jiraiya's hand slipped from the seductive man's hip to stroke his cock quickly as Ibiki bucked into the spasming passage and cried out in gratification. 

 

**Ibiki trembled at the strong contractions of his Saiai's body as Jiraiya brought Kakashi to orgasm again, his lover's muscles grasped and drew on his cock until Ibiki was completely sated.  His beloved collapsed on top of him, trembling and panting as he caught his breath.**

_Kakashi was stunned at the extreme pleasure his lovers gave him, Jiraiya had stopped him from cumming!  It had sent a thrill through him, and being denied release had made his orgasm so strong!  He glanced up at Jiraiya, his loving adoration made everything so perfect, the ecstasy he'd experienced more meaningful.  His lovers were incredible... His eyes dropped to rest on Ibiki and he cuddled into his solid frame, he could not be happier.  Jiraiya now lay beside them caressing them tenderly._

_There were so many things he wanted to say but he lacked the words, still he tried, his eyes met Jiraiya's, "Please don't stop touching me... I like your touch."_

_Jiraiya gave him a loving smile.  "I will touch you whenever you wish, I enjoy the feel of your body and love hearing your cries of pleasure."_

_Kakashi caught Jiraiya's hand and stroked his cheek, the affectionate man's eyes filled with understanding and deep love, he understood his need for his touch.  Kakashi released his hand and it resumed massaging his back as he looked up at Ibiki, "I like the feel of your body..."  his cheeks heated slightly, "All of your body.  I like laying on your chest and feeling you inside me."_

_Ibiki caressed his Saiai's back, "I love you..."  Ibiki's gaze lifted to meet Jiraiya's, "Both of you, I don't ever wish to lose either of you.  I want you both beside me for the rest of our lives."_

_Kakashi nodded, he felt the same way, the love of Ibiki and Jiraiya felt so amazing!_

Jiraiya smiled tenderly at them, such a beautiful fantasy, he would cherish this time of feeling loved by them both for the rest of his life.

 

===============================

 

**END CHAPTER 17**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 17: I LIVE FOR YOU (HESS)


	18. WHISPERS IN THE DARK (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT.18)

**WHISPERS IN THE DARK (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT.18)**

\-------------------------

 

It had been a few weeks now, Jiraiya began to relax, it didn't look like either of his lovers regretted their decision to include him in their relationship.  The only thing he did see that was a bit disturbing was the longing on Ibiki's face when he'd give Kakashi oral sex.  Was it that he desired those touches or that he wished it was something he was able to do to them?

 

One day when Kakashi was on a mission Jiraiya decided he'd ask him.  "Koishii... when I take Kakashi in my mouth you often look uncomfortable.  Does my giving him oral sex distress you?"

 

Ibiki caressed his face tenderly, "No, sometimes I am a bit conflicted.  Both you and he enjoy it greatly, sometimes I wish to try, but I am very sure I couldn't.  It is very likely it would not be a pleasant experience for any of us.  I do not want to cause you both distress."

 

"I can accept it if it causes you anxiety, don't hold back because of me, do as you wish and we will handle any problems."  Jiraiya reassured.  In many ways this was his fault, all the chaos that he'd brought into his Koishii's life.  So many times he'd been pushing past his restrictions and then conflict would make him uncertain and all progress was lost once more.  "Will Kakashi be home tonight?  I don't suppose I should ask, I know you cannot answer."

 

Ibiki stated with absolute conviction, "I will never keep anything from you.  Ask anything and I will answer."

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "I understand, it is your job."  

 

Ibiki gave a little smile, caught his hand and kissed the palm.  "If anyone is deserving of absolute trust it is you.  You are selfless and loyal, dedicated to the ones you love and the village that is your home."

 

Tears filled Jiraiya's eyes, "You and Kakashi are everything to me."  Hearing his Koishii talk about him with such love and respect, this was one more memory he'd always cherish... he wasn't sure how he would survive the two exceptional men turning their back on him.

 

**Ibiki kissed his cheeks, "Don't cry Koishii, I've brought you so many tears already... caused you such pain, I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives."  He embraced his beloved as he answered his original question, "Kakashi will return tomorrow, in the afternoon."**

**He could feel Jiraiya's erection lightly pressed against him; he wanted so much more than the limited things he had.  He wanted the pleasure of touching them sexually, stroking their cocks and exploring their bodies, tasting them and hearing their cries of rapture... so many pleasures he could not experience.**

**Those were things he would never have while 'trapped' in this safe place and not trying to move forward.  Before everything fell apart, and he'd turned his back on his Koishii again, he'd tried to overcome his limits... but now he'd given up.  It seemed even more suffocating to have had taken those brief steps towards freedom then found himself at the bottom once more.  He'd given up too easily, he needed to fight for what he wanted.**

Ibiki looked uneasy, "I want to take your clothes off... all your clothes." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, he was very aroused, he was sure his Koishii was aware of that but he wished to do it.  He stood with his arms loosely at his sides, moving only enough to aide his lover's efforts as Ibiki unfastened his shirt, stroking tenderly over the flesh.   Then his beloved's fingers rested on the fastening of his pants, he was clearly reluctant to unfasten them.

 

**Ibiki was determined to do this and grateful Jiraiya was not trying to stop him.  He undid the bindings and started to draw them down, running his hands slowly over his Koishii's enticing ass as a distraction from what he was attempting.**

**Ibiki continued drawing his pants all the way down and as he sank down to squatting before his lover, the man's immense rigid length was now at... mouth level.  Ibiki looked away, trying to still the hard drum of his heart and deny his panic.**

It was difficult to not touch him, his beloved was ashen, the terrible fear and despair on his face made Jiraiya long to hold him and swear he'd never let **_anyone_ ** hurt him again!  But he could not touch him right now and betray his trust, so he did the only thing he could.  "Look at me Koishii.  I love you so very much, you are so brave.  You amaze me."

 

**Jiraiya did not move, but the love in his eyes and his soothing words helped Ibiki to break free of his growing panic.  He ran his hands lightly up the sides of his lover's body, over his hips and up to his ribs as he rose to his feet.  He was so very blessed to have this incredible man's love after all the pain he'd caused him.**

 

Jiraiya was surprised as his beloved enclosed him in a firm hug, he kissed his extraordinary lover, then embraced him gently and waited for Ibiki to think about what he'd done and deal with the emotions it brought.

 

Ibiki caressed his back as he quietly spoke, "I want to do more Jiraiya, I think I've  been making a mistake not pressing at my limits more."

 

Jiraiya kissed him tenderly.  "I will do anything to help you get the freedom you desire."

 

Ibiki softly replied, "I wish you to touch me even if it is touches that are difficult for me to accept."

 

Jiraiya cautiously nodded.  He knew his 'caution' was holding Ibiki back from his effort at regaining the freedom he wish to have.  Hindering his Koishii's attempts by trying to avoid anything being upsetting and he needed to trust more in his brave lover.  If his beloved became upset about something they would find a way to handle it, his partner had gotten so much stronger since they first met.   Ibiki kissed him passionately, Jiraiya's hands rested still on his back. 

 

Ibiki wasn't the only one afraid, but for his Koishii he would do it.  What he was going to do maybe the last straw... he may frighten him too greatly, this may be the last time he got touch his beloved, he greatly hoped he was wrong.  "Can you trust me?" 

 

**Ibiki felt a chill, he could tell his partner planned on doing something that would push strongly against a restriction.  "Yes, I want you to do this my Koishii."  Ibiki stepped back to undress, then paused and shook his head sadly, "I can't even accept my lover removing my clothes... please Jiraiya.  I can't stay like this."**

 

Jiraiya stepped close to him again, not allowing him to put himself out of reach, but did not touch him.  This was something they could work on now and every time, building trust and familiarity.  "I will not leave you remain stuck there, we will find a way for you to work your way free."

 

**Ibiki removed his clothes, he was aware of why his Koishii had moved close, and he was thankful.  This was a reassurance that he would help him get past his limits and not let him take the 'safe' way and back away.  Jiraiya didn't touch him although he was close enough to easily do it, encouraging him to trust and not put distance between them.**

 

"So sexy my Koishii."  Jiraiya purred, "I wish to kiss every inch of your exquisite body."

 

Ibiki now stood nude before him and Jiraiya meant every word, he would love to do that, but this was not the right time.  What he intended to try would be sabotaged by clouding his lover's mind with lust... he want to see if his beloved could still bear to feel his aroused flesh pressed against his back.  "I wish to hold you... can I hold you Koishii?" 

 

**Ibiki nodded, he knew it was not going to be just an embrace, and he was right as Jiraiya walked around to behind him and gently enclosed him in his arms.  He stiffened in alarm, but even as hard as his heart was drumming he didn't want to say stop. He flinched as he felt his partner's cock resting lightly against him, but reminded himself Jiraiya had done this before this was not new or alarming, his lover could give him great pleasure if he could trust him and not move away.**

 

Jiraiya's body cupped his beloved's from behind, and he rocked his erection softly against the part of his Koishii's ass.  Ibiki trembled Jiraiya's hand lightly stroked his cock and he placed passionate kisses over his sensitive throat.  Knowing he was frightening him was difficult and he started murmuring as much to comfort and distract himself as to soothe and distract his beloved, his admiration and love clear in every murmured word between kisses.  "So strong... you are amazing my Koishii... brave... so strong... I feel so lucky to have your love..."

 

**Ibiki shivered slightly, listening to the soft croon and trying to relax, he felt a surge of shame as he drew away.  "I can't..."**

**Jiraiya walked around to stand before him, but did not embrace him only lightly feathered his fingers over his cheek, "My Strong Koishii.  Never feel shame or force yourself to continue when it's too much, you accepted what you could, then stepped away... that is exactly what you need to do."**

 

Jiraiya's heart melted and he felt a rush of tender protectiveness as Ibiki leaned into him, accepting his comfort and  trusting in him.  Even after becoming frightened by what they had attempted, he did not draw away from him.  Jiraiya kissed him gently, he could feel his lover was rapidly growing very aroused at the feel of his body and his caresses were becoming passionate.

 

**Ibiki brushed his fingers over his lover's ass, Jiraiya gave a delighted moan that sent Ibiki's lust soaring, "Koishii I need you!"**

**Jiraiya drew back enough to turn in his arms, offering the rapture of his body and begged, "I want you... please!"**

**His lover's excitement thrilled him, Ibiki moaned loudly as he pressed into the eager grasp of his beloved's body.  "You feel so good!"**

**Jiraiya gave a wanton cry bucking back into the spear of his cock and groaning in delight.  Ibiki placed fevered kisses over his lover's back and neck as he urgently thrust into him.  His Koishii's cries of ecstasy and the way he met every thrust taking him deep and moaning at the feel of him... the tease was so great that it was not long before both men were fevered with lust.**  

 

Jiraiya gave a shocked cry of rapture as his partner's hand enclosed his erection stroking it rapidly until Jiraiya was arched back into him struggling not to give in to his orgasm, it felt so good!   Every touch his beloved gave him was so perfect, no one in his past had ever brought him so much pleasure!

 

**Ibiki groaned, his lover's passage grasped him so tight!  It was very difficult to resist his powerful need to cum but it was worth it for the rapturous cries his Koishii gave as they urgently fucked.  The jump of his beloved's arousal in his grasp was accompanied by glorious strong draws of his partner's body on his aching cock, the temptation was too great to resist and Ibiki moaned loudly in gratification as he bucked into the extraordinary stimulation and came.**

**Ibiki forced himself not to release partner's cock immediately, trying to 'link' the feel of his Koishii's sated length... the feel of his cum, with the strong pleasure he'd felt.  After a moment he drew his hand away and placed kisses on the side of his lover's throat as he withdrew from his incredible body.  "I love you Jiraiya."**

 

Jiraiya  had wanted to feel his beloved thrusting into him as he bowed on the bed but he knew it would be far too distressing... not at this time, but they could work towards that as well as many other things.  As long as his Koishii wanted it, they would continue to try to move past his current restrictions.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

After a shower and a fantastic meal, they went into the bedroom and lay holding each other.

 

**Ibiki could not believe he had his Koishii again, they'd all been through so much and he'd hurt him so many times.  He would not mess it up this time, he would never lose Jiraiya again, he and Kakashi needed him.  "Jiraiya, touching you brings me peace, I don't ever want to lose this.  You are so very important to us.  Kakashi loves you, I love you... please don't ever leave us."**

**"I will stay as long as you want me."  Jiraiya reassured, his loving gaze and tender caresses soon had Ibiki relaxed enough to become tired.  Jiraiya saw this and gave him a kiss then rose, "I will see you in the morning Koishii, sleep now."**

**Ibiki gently caught his hand, urging him to stay.  "You could sleep in... the other bed."**

Jiraiya knew he had almost said 'Kakashi's bed', the guilt on his face prompted Jiraiya to stroke his cheek and reassure.  "I am fine on the couch, I promise."  Ibiki didn't look mollified and Jiraiya compromised, "I will sleep on the floor in here."  In truth it was what he wanted anyway, to not be away from his beloved even as they slept.

 

**Ibiki reluctantly nodded, he didn't blame his Koishii for not wishing to sleep in the bed, it was a reminder that twice it was his bed, his home and it all was taken from him... this time given to another lover, Kakashi, his 'replacement'.  His beloved couldn't continue sleeping on the couch or floor.  They were just reinforcing his accepting partner's belief that their love was temporary and he'd be cast away again... he wished it was possible to bring in another bed... but it truly was not.  **

**Jiraiya stripped and lay down on top of his blanket, then looked up with a little smirk as Ibiki's breath caught and released in a soft groan, "Koishii you are so sexy!"**

**Jiraiya's gaze was loving and he replied seriously, "I'm glad you think so, I feel the same way about you..."  Then his eyes filled with humor as he teased, "I'm not sure I'd be able to resist if it was your enticing body bare as you lay down to sleep."**

**Bare... no, that was not something he could ever do, sleep was a dangerous vulnerable time...**

**Jiraiya's gaze filled with compassion.  "I will never allow anyone to hurt you ever again my Koishii."**

**Ibiki nodded and relaxed back on his bed.  But, in truth, he was far from relaxed and it took quite a while to fall asleep.**

It was so sad, his Koishii was so badly hurt inside.  His tease had not brought his beloved pleasant thoughts, he lay looking up at the ceiling until he finally fell asleep, but he did not sleep long before Jiraiya heard his breathing turn rough.  His lover was having a nightmare, at Ibiki's muted hiss and the jump of his muscles, his assumption was 'corrected',  he was having one of his very bad nightmares.

 

Jiraiya would not leave him alone to suffer in his dreams for the rest of his life, his Koishii could not accept physical reassurance but he would try to gently draw him out verbally.  Jiraiya softly whispered, "You are not alone, you will never be alone again."  His voice grew a bit louder as Ibiki quickly woke, "I will be here beside you... I will not let anyone harm you."

 

Ibiki lay quietly for several minutes then asked, "Will you lay beside me?"

 

"Anytime you wish."  Jiraiya lovingly answered laying on the bed a space between them so they did not touch, if his beloved desired his touch he would move closer, but either way he was here offering the comfort of his arms.  Ibiki shifted closer his body barely touching Jiraiya's and he remained silent but it was clear he was not asleep.

 

**Ibiki had been a bit startled by the whisper, it had immediately drawn him from his nightmare but as he'd grasped a hold of the present it was with the thought of his lover there and the comfort he offered.   Now he dwelled on his words, _'I will be here beside you... I will not let anyone harm you.'_  It was not an empty or vague promise.  It was an absolute truth, Jiraiya would kill any one he felt physically 'threatened' him... **

**After the would be thief had attempted to rob his house, Tsunade had said, _'he is quite capable of killing ruthlessly, without hesitation... if you had not woke that man would be dead'._ He believed her.  Ibiki moved a bit closer to Jiraiya and tried to relax, he would not be able to sleep but he could not give this up, not yet.**

**As he felt his Koishii's warm skin against his, he had the realization that staying away from his lovers had been wrong, things had changed from the beginning when their relationship first started, he needed to accept the understanding and comfort his partners offered and not try to deal with his dreams alone.**

**"Please sleep." Jiraiya softly urged.**

**Ibiki shook his head, never again would he risk his love one's lives. Jiraiya kissed him tenderly and soothed,  "You do not dream immediately, trust me to move away once you fall asleep."**

**Ibiki felt ill, "What if you fall asleep?"  Yes, that was an extremely unlikely possibility, but the memory of his Koishii on the floor with his Kunai piercing his heart remained fresh and clear in his mind, and he was certain that was one of the memories that would never fade and never cease causing him terror and anguish.  No, never again would he take the chance of hurting them... never again would he see them dying by his hand.**

 

Jiraiya gave him an understanding smile.  He could resist sleep, any nin could or being on watch would not have been very effective.  Ibiki knew that, his beloved was afraid.  Jiraiya wanted to work on another 'area' of trauma for his lover, a trauma that was much more recent than his captivity.  His fear of injuring them... perhaps it would be better to have Kakashi work on this at first...

 

"How can you trust me after what I did?"  Ibiki asked quietly, his tone mournful.

 

No, Jiraiya amended, it needed to be him.  The trauma was with him not Kakashi and he was the one who must to heal the damage.  "Koishii, what happened was as much my fault as yours."  No it was all his fault but his beloved would not accept that so he shared the blame with him.  "It was terrible, but it did not happen because I slept near you."

 

"Please Jiraiya I can't... I never want to see you dying again."  Ibiki pleaded.

 

Jiraiya nodded his gaze dark with sorrow, "I understand."  He'd caused his beloved trauma by nearly dying at Orochimaru's hand the first time and that was what lead to the second trauma. 

 

**Jiraiya moved to get off the bed and Ibiki enclosed him in his arms, "You are so precious to me."  He knew why his lover wished it but he just couldn't, his partner may forgive him but he would never forgive himself for what he'd done, or forget the agony of thinking he'd die... he could never be trusted not to try to kill his lovers if they woke him.  This was just too great a risk.  "Could you stay a few minutes more Koishii?"**

 

Jiraiya nodded, he relaxed against his beloved and quietly he reminisced, "Soon it will be fall... I love the smell of fall, the slightly crisp air full of scents... the small animals moving though the fallen leaves with little rustles... the sky clear and the moon large in the sky, casting soft shadows..."

 

**This was better than sleep could ever be, the feel of his lover in his arms and the peaceful reminiscing of his partner... he wished he could stay like this but it was not fair to Jiraiya... "Can I hold you as you sleep Koishii?"**

 

Jiraiya looked in his beloved's eyes and kissed him tenderly, "Yes." 

 

Ibiki wasn't going to sleep, even if he was not in the bed beside him.  The nightmare had compounded his anxieties from their actions earlier that night.  Jiraiya could stay awake beside him, but it gave his Koishii peace to watch him sleep so he would.

 

**Ibiki watched Jiraiya close his eyes and stroked his face gently before resting his hand lightly on his lover's chest as he slept, feeling his chest rise and fall.  His life had been so empty and meaningless until the day he'd dared to reach out to Jiraiya... he'd almost lost him so many times, been such a fool and hurt him time after time... and yet this extraordinary man loved him.**

**The night was long, and he enjoyed every minute of it as he lay beside his Koishii's peaceful form, listening to his deep even breaths.**

 

When Jiraiya opened his eyes in the morning it was to see his beloved looking at him with adoration... he would do anything not to lose this beautiful dream.  The morning went very like it once had, the quiet companionship felt so good.

 

**As he walked to work Ibiki thought about how wonderful it felt to have this piece of his life back.  This one thing had almost returned to 'normal', the way it had been before he'd started the downward spiral that made him lose Jiraiya so many times... before he stabbed his Koishii.  The one thing that had never returned was the playful way his beloved used to get him to try new fruits for breakfast, he suspected that was one of many things that was gone forever.**

 

===============

 

_Kakashi had completed his mission report and was placing it in the basket when another nin, Zonzai, reached out and grabbed his wrist.  Without reservation Kakashi struck him in the solar plexus knocking the air out of him and leaving him gasping, prone on the floor._

_Suddenly the whole mission's office was so silent you could hear a paper rustle.  This quiet only lasted a few moments as one of the man's teammates swiftly went to his friends side, he looked up with a furious stare, "You could have seriously injured him!  He only touched your arm!"_

_Kakashi remained looking down at him indifferently then simply walked out of the office, as he left he could hear the mutterings of the other nin present... 'no remorse... cold... callus... not human...'_

_Perhaps they were right, many times he did not feel human... just empty.  That had gotten better since he'd gained Ibiki and Jiraiya's love... but one thing did not change, he did not fit in and never would._

_He didn't know why Zonzai had grabbed his wrist, it was likely he'd never know... possibly playful mischievousness or he wanted to ask him something. It didn't matter, it was likely that no matter what the reason he'd have reacted the same way.  When Zonzai had touched him a surge of disgust and loathing swept through him, his flesh still crawled at the memory of his fingers on his skin._

_After this he didn't want to be out in public, often he'd sit and pretend to read as he watched the villagers.  But today he felt like he stood outside of the real world just looking in at the ones living in it.  He would go home, grab his personal weapons, then go sharpen and clean them._

_Jiraiya looked over as Kakashi walked into their house, he grown used to not hiding his emotions when he was home  and his lover could see he was disturbed by something.  Jiraiya rose and crossed to embrace him and gave him a tender kiss.  Not asking for an explanation just giving comfort.  The deep affection on his partner’s face gave him the strength to try to explain._

 

Kakashi looked at him all his emotions clear on his face, he said quietly, "I'm confused... I feel like I don't belong."

 

Jiraiya lightly stroked his face and his Myobu molded tightly to him, he was more than confused, he was distressed and badly needing comfort.  Jiraiya enclosed him in his arms and felt a bit of his tension ease, then tightened his arms around him and held him close, firmly against him.

 

He knew some people were soothed by being held firmly, the feeling of security.  He'd guessed that the man who'd grown up without anyone to hold him when he was hurt or frightened would find comfort in someone who loved him doing it, and he did.   Jiraiya felt him draw a deep breath and release it as his muscles loosened and he embraced the 'protection'.

 

He knew his lover had just returned from his mission and it was likely something had happened while he was turning in his report. That was confirmed by his beloved's next words, "Many of the other nin say I'm 'not human'... I don't react right."

 

Jiraiya reassured gently, "You are very human Kakashi, it is not a bad thing that you are not like many of the other Shinobi.  Everyone has experiences that shape how they feel.  You have had experiences that others cannot understand."

 

As Kakashi relaxed, Jiraiya loosened his grasp and now tenderly hugged him and rubbed his back softly.  "Ibiki's past made him feel that way, but you understand him and so do I.  Now he knows he does not need to be like others, only himself, and that we love him no matter what horrors he's suffered in the past."

 

Kakashi nodded and laid his head against Jiraiya's chest, "I wish he was home..."  Almost as if his wish had been heard and granted, Ibiki walked in, but it was no miracle.  Jiraiya could see by the concern in his Koishii's eyes that he'd heard about what happened and knew his lover would be upset.

 

**Ibiki walked over and embraced his Saiai from behind.  When he'd heard what happened in the missions office he'd been angry... but it had been fueled by distress not jealousy.  He was well aware how greatly his beloved hated to be touched.**

**But when he'd arrived and saw Jiraiya all his distress was swept away, his loving Koishii was there comforting and soothing their troubled lover.  The incredible man's love and support was irreplaceable, he never wanted to lose him.  They needed Jiraiya, needed his unconditional love and understanding.**

**Kakashi looked back at him and solemnly said, "I am happy you are here."**

**"I am happy I came, you are precious to me." Ibiki kissed his Saiai's temple.**

Jiraiya gave them an adoring smile, Ibiki was getting better at expressing his feelings, they would help Kakashi learn so he would be able to as well.  They remained embracing their troubled partner until his distress eased.  Kakashi turned in their loose hold and lay against Ibiki, he kissed his throat and softly murmured, "Thank you."

 

Jiraiya's smile widened, perhaps they'd already started help him learn, both his lovers were so amazing.  They had lived with terrible traumas and bravely continued to move forward towards a healthier future.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki had returned to work, his Koishii had everything handled.  The extraordinary man had comforted Kakashi, and Ibiki noted with fondness that he'd even calmed him.  It would not have been easy to return to work if it wasn't for his beloved's support and devotion.  He understood them so well, accepted how they felt without judgment.  Soon he could go home and feel their loving touches, he longed to hold them and kiss them.**

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi looked over at his weapons pouch then dismissed it for the moment, his weapons were clean and sharp.  He could check them later, it was just something he did to 'relax'...  now he had his lovers and he didn't need his routines as much.  He leaned into Jiraiya, the solid warmth of him was soothing, he felt loved,  but the feel of his partner's sexy body against his soon had Kakashi's thoughts turning to the memory of how his lover felt inside him.  "Jiraiya, when will you be able to have sex with me the way Ibiki does with you?"_

 

Jiraiya caressed him tenderly.  It was not something that he could do, he'd hurt Kakashi if he fucked his slender lover like Ibiki did with him.  Jiraiya's smile held a touch of sadness at the knowledge that one day his Myobu and Koishii would join the extensive list of his past lovers, but he focused on trying to explain why that would not be possible. "I'm very experienced... I have had very many partners over the years..."

 

"Not anymore, I will not let you go."  Kakashi's tone was absolute, but his eyes held a plea.

 

 Jiraiya hated seeing fear in his lover's eyes, he stroked his face and reassured.  "I will not leave, not unless you or Ibiki wish me to."

 

"Never.  You will never leave."  Kakashi's stubborn words were tempered by his insecure embrace of Jiraiya to him.

 

Jiraiya massaged his beloved's back and redirected his lover's attention back to his earlier question. "You may not be able to have sex like that, but..." Jiraiya caressed his body lightly, "You could learn to touch Ibiki with the same chakra teases as I do, you have fantastic chakra control." 

 

He really did, holding the chidori while badly injured had been more than just impressive because of the strength of his chakra, it was the control to hold it when weakened so greatly that was also astounding.  "I can show you many ways to give Ibiki pleasure."

 

Kakashi looked surprised, then undeniably excited, his eyes full of desire.  "Show me how to give _you_ pleasure." 

 

Jiraiya cupped his head kissing him passionately until he was whimpering into their kiss, his cock throbbing with the strength of his need.  After his painful thoughts about losing them Jiraiya longed to hear his Myobu crying out in ecstasy at his touch.

 

 He drew back from their kiss and dipped his head to purr in his lover's ear, "First I will give you pleasure Myobu."  The warm breath feathering over the sensitive shell drew a loud gasp and shiver.  He was sure in 'demonstrating', Kakashi would learn where the chakra strokes brought the strongest reaction.

 

Jiraiya's hands brushed over his body removing his shirt and unfastening his pants, then his finger circled his beloved's nipples slowly and trailed a soft hum of chakra around the taut peaks.  Kakashi cried out bucking his hips wantonly against him.  Jiraiya groaned the feel of his partner in his arms had already aroused him greatly, his body yearning to feel his lover's, and the temptation would grow with every seductive mew from his gorgeous Myobu's lips.

 

_Kakashi gasped as his partner's fingers slipped beneath the waist band of his pants, the light feather of Jiraiya's fingers traced over just above the curve of his ass, the teasing hum brought shivers of need and increasingly urgent moans.  He wanted to touch Jiraiya so much, wanted to feel his body and hear his pleasure, and yet he did not want to give up the ecstasy of Jiraiya's skillful caresses_.

 

His sensual lover's soft skin was much too sensitive to bear this for long, Jiraiya cupped his narrow hips and sank down slowly before him, his strokes drew his partner's pants down baring his very enticing cock.  It was a temptation Jiraiya had no intention of resisting.

 

His palm cupped his lover's balls as his mouth slid down over his erection and his finger teased the tender strip of skin behind his balls with gentle pulses of chakra.  As he caressed his beloved's cock with his mouth, drawing and bobbing on it, he delightedly listened to his lover's howls of rapture.  Then dropped to the base as the erotic man arched into his mouth and came.

 

Jiraiya released his lover's sated flesh and rose to cradle his beloved to him, kissing his shoulders and massaging his back lightly, very slowly his mouth moved up towards his throat.  Kakashi mewed, quivering in excitement as the tease started up his neck.  Jiraiya could feel his precious Myobu starting to flush hard against him.  Now that he'd brought him to orgasm the first time he could spend a bit more time giving him pleasure. 

 

_The extreme rapture of his lover's mouth was quickly joined by the enthralling hum of chakra that his partner's finger traced down his spine to the part of his ass.  Kakashi gave loud pleading whimpers at the tease, and as the finger continued to between his cheeks, his cock swollen so hard it ached._

_The feel of his lover's other hand enclosing the engorged flesh of his erection brought a fevered cry of delight.  The overwhelming sensation of his beloved's mouth nearing his ear, combined with the astounding pleasure his partner was giving with his hands, brought urgent wails of ecstasy.  As his lover's mouth reached his ear Kakashi keened rocking his hips into the stimulation of his touch.  The pulses of chakra the skilled man sent over his needy entrance brought faster rocks and Jiraiya's breath softly caressing his ear had him nearly sobbing at the overwhelming rapture_.

 

Jiraiya could feel how his lover's entrance had loosened and, as he flicked his ear with the tip of his tongue, his finger slipped in to the tight hot passage and sent a stronger pulse of chakra into his beloved's body. 

 

_Kakashi's_ _fingers tightened on Jiraiya_ _’s broad shoulder and he arched his back, bucking into the pleasure.  His cock jumped as he wantonly rocked into his lover's finger and he gave long fevered_ _moans as he_ _reached his_ _climax once more._

_Kakashi lay exhausted and trembling against him as his partner's  finger slipped out of his body and he released his satisfied flesh.  Jiraiya lovingly embraced him and placed a tender kiss on his brow.  What Jiraiya had done... It was like nothing he'd ever felt before, the pleasure so intense that his body still tingled with it everywhere the experienced man had touched... he wanted to give his lovers this!_    _"I want to touch you."_

_Jiraiya nodded and stripped, baring his large cock, the turgid length flushed with need.  It was very thrilling to see how greatly he aroused his lover!_

 

Kakashi's eager gaze met his and Jiraiya gave a soft groan at the tempting desire in his beloved's eyes, although his Myobu's body was sated it was very clear he was excited by his erection.  But the enticing man did not touch him there yet.  Kakashi stroked gently over his shoulders and chest, Jiraiya closed his eyes in bliss at his adoring touch, even though he was very aroused his lover had known that his caresses was what Jiraiya yearned for, more than release.  "Myobu, your touch is so wonderful! "  His eyes opened to meet his partner's and he gave a soft moan at the deep love in his eyes, "My amazing Myobu... every moment beside you is perfect, every touch brings me such deep joy..."

 

_Kakashi covered his lover's lips with his, when Jiraiya had opened his eyes they had been so full of longing... longing for his touch and his love.  Kakashi desperately wanted to give him all he longed for, he never wanted to lose this wonderful man.  "I need you."_

 

Jiraiya lovingly caressed his face, he knew Kakashi wasn't asking to be given sexual pleasure, he was expressing his love.  "I love you Myobu."  He never wanted to leave his Koishii and Myobu, he'd rather die, he'd already be dead inside.  His heart and happiness would be left with the two men he loved more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life.

 

_Kakashi sighed and placed light kisses over his face then down to his chest, Jiraiya was like a piece of him he couldn't let him go.  His love and understanding vital, his hand rested over his partner's heart and he looked up at him, the reassurance and love in his gaze soothed, Jiraiya would not leave.  Softly his finger feathered over Jiraiya's nipple, his lover gave a deep groan of delight and Kakashi felt his partner's cock jump against him._  

 

_He wanted to try the chakra strokes but he was uncertain, he'd only used his chakra to injure.  Jiraiya's hand tenderly covered his keeping his hand on his body._

 

Jiraiya had seen his lover's anxiety, he understood, "Chakra is not bad, it does not only hurt... it can heal... and give pleasure."  His hand remained covering his beloved's as a reassurance and his finger trailed a light pulse of chakra over the back of his finger. 

 

_Kakashi watched his face as he imitated that pulse on Jiraiya's chest, his partner moaned in delight and eagerly Kakashi did it again.  Jiraiya's gaze was passionate, "I love the feel of your fingers on me Myobu."  A bit cautiously Kakashi brushed a pulse over his nipple and his lover gasped, his hips bucking slightly, and encouraged. "So perfect... it feels so good!_ "

 

Jiraiya was stunned, not only by the ease with which his beloved had caught on but also the sensation... he'd never had someone tease him with chakra, all the lover's he'd had and not a one had the control enough to do it... it felt fantastic!

 

_Kakashi felt a strong rush of excitement, his partner liked it!  Kakashi dipped his head licking one of Jiraiya's nipples and listening to his cries, then trailed his fingers down to stroke soft chakra pulses over the hollow of his hips._

_Jiraiya's breathing was ragged, his moans growing more urgent.  Kakashi covered the head of his erection sucking and flicking his tongue over the engorged flesh_.

 

Jiraiya panted, it was incredibly difficult to focus on anything but the extreme pleasure, but he resisted his climax.  He couldn't cum with his lover's mouth covering his cock, it would frighten him, and very likely make him choke.  He was nearly ready to beg his beloved to stop and kiss him when Kakashi  drew back.

 

_Kakashi could see by the tremble of his lover's body he wished to cum and he also knew he would not, not while his mouth was on his erection, his partner was so careful with him.  Kakashi released the turgid length from his mouth, stroking his lover just as Jiraiya had when he'd first watched him give Ibiki oral sex.  Jiraiya cried out his cock bucking firmly into his hand and Kakashi dipped his mouth to his lover's arousal sucking and flicking at the head as his fingers traced chakra over his partner's balls._

_Jiraiya gave a rapturous moan, his cock jumping a second time as he fully satisfied his need.   Kakashi liked the taste of him and teased the hole getting everything he could, when he released Jiraiya's sated flesh and looked up it was to see his lover panting at the strong pleasure.  His beloved drew him up, cupped his chin and kissed him passionately.  When he broke their kiss he nuzzled and placed a kiss on his temple.  "Thank you Myobu, that felt wonderful."_

_Kakashi smiled, he was delighted that he'd given his lover such strong pleasure... just as Jiraiya always did for him and Ibiki._

 

The two men went and showered, caressing each other tenderly.  When they'd finished and dressed, Jiraiya heated up a late lunch.

 

After they cleaned up together; Jiraiya stroked Kakashi's cheek, he wanted this to be his beloved's decision alone and not something his lover did for him.  If he could face the people again, they would walk up to meet Ibiki when he got off work.  If he did not wish to, he was sure his loving Koishii would understand why they hadn't.  "Ibiki should be done with work soon."

 

Kakashi nodded, he seemed lost in thought for a moment, his fingers tracing over Jiraiya's chest lightly.  It felt very good, but was not sexual, it was a need for contact.  Jiraiya had seen that some days his lover  was quieter than usual, those were the days when he needed contact most. 

 

It was possible he'd been this way previous to the 'event' in the missions office, but it was more likely that the distress had turned this day into one of the days.  Later he would ask Ibiki what happened, it had been something that had alarmed his Koishii and made him leave work to come soothe Kakashi.

 

_The feel of his partner's solid body beneath his fingers was calming, if they left the house he would not be able to touch Jiraiya or his lover to touch him, but he wanted to see Ibiki.  It was worth temporarily giving this up to see the pleasure in his beloved's eyes when he saw them waiting for him... one day he would be able to touch Ibiki... the villagers and other nin's attention would not be important.  He wanted that.  "Let's go meet him."_

 

Jiraiya smiled and nodded then enclosed him in his arms warmly cradled against him and kissed him tenderly.  The tension that had been building in his beloved while he thought eased, when he released him Kakashi put on his mask and Hitai-ate.   His lover never went out of the house without them, and to this date he'd still not felt comfortable wearing anything but a full uniform outside the house. 

 

Although all emotion left Kakashi's eyes as they walked out the door, he did not seem disturbed, it was just the way he was in public and not a withdrawal.

 

"Beautiful Myobu."  Jiraiya softly purred, Kakashi looked up at him and for a moment his gaze warmed before returning to the emotionless shield he used to keep others from getting too close.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

_The look on Ibiki's face when he walked out and saw them made any small bit of uneasiness worth it.  His partner looked so happy, his eyes full of love... Kakashi wanted his touch so much, but he couldn't make himself touch his lover or express that desire to be touched.  Ibiki caressed Jiraiya's cheek and looked over at him as he quietly said, "My Saiai, I can't wait to hold you."_

_Kakashi moved closer and looked with longing at his partner's hand then met his eyes.  Looking down at his lover's hand had made his reluctance waiver.  "I want your touch."  Ibiki smiled and his fingers brushed Kakashi's, longing rose at his beloved's touch and he surprised both his lovers and himself when he took Ibiki's hand._

 

**Ibiki felt a surge of love for his partner, the gesture was a strong display of love given the difficulty he'd had earlier that day.   His lover had lived for years always guarding himself, not showing emotion... every touch from him in public meant a lot.  "Thank you Saiai."**

 

**Kakashi's eyes held love, his expression unguarded... until a villager walked by a bit too near then his posture stiffened and his emotions vanished as he drew his hand back.**

 

_He wished he hadn't released Ibiki's hand, he wanted his touch, but he couldn't bear that others were watching him as he expressed his affection for his beloved.  It was just too uncomfortable to have others staring at him_. 

 

The three men walked back to their house quietly, all three deep in thought.  Jiraiya's thoughts dwelled on ways to try to make Kakashi feel more relaxed.  He could cast a Genjutsu or they could do a transformation jutsu to look like others, but it would only work on the villagers and lower level nin.  Any veteran Shinobi would be able to recognize it as a Genjutsu or transformation jutsu and would be alarmed that there was a group of unidentifiable nin walking through the village.  It was possible they'd be thought an enemy... no, they couldn't do that. 

 

They could use a transportation jutsu to return to the house after meeting Ibiki but that would not be solving the problem, only avoiding it.

 

\-----------------------

**When they walked in the door Kakashi surprised Ibiki by whipping off his mask.  Then swiftly turning, molding his body against him and kissing him passionately.  Ibiki gave a soft groan into their kiss, his cock now pounding with need.  Jiraiya looked amused, but his eyes betrayed how aroused he was by their lover's actions, even if the way his erection now strained against the front of his pants had not already made that very clear.**

 

_He needed his lover, craved his touch and to feel his body against his own, during the walk he'd dwelled on the brief contact of holding his hand and longed for more.  Now only the eyes of his two partner's were on him and he eagerly gave in to his desire. He broke their kiss and looked over his shoulder at Jiraiya, "Please touch me, I need to feel you."_

Jiraiya replied, "Gladly Myobu." and lightly cupped Kakashi from behind, his hands caressing and swiftly baring their sexy lover as he trembled in excitement.

 

**Ibiki knew his beloved would not be able to wait to be prepared, his eyes met his Koishii's understanding gaze and then he turned Kakashi around.  He cradled his Saiai's sensual body firmly against his and nibbled gently up his throat as Jiraiya slipped down to take their partner's cock in his mouth.**

**Their lover's cries were so extremely arousing the breathless gasps and trembles of intense pleasure and feeling his beloved's ass against his captive erection as he writhed was enough to make him almost desperate to fuck him.  But he would never hurt his Saiai, never... no more than Jiraiya would hurt him or Kakashi.**

**Ibiki's arm remained wrapped around his Saiai as his other hand stroked over his chest, the stroke brushed over one of his nipples and Kakashi moaned at the tease.  Ibiki felt a thrill at his lover's reaction, every part of his beloved was so sensitive!**

**Lightly his finger circled first one nipple until it budded then the other, he could feel his Saiai's muscles jumping as he tried to writhe.**

 

_Kakashi was breathless at the extreme pleasure of his lovers actions, his cries gasped out between rapid pants.  He felt Jiraiya's mouth slip to the base of his arousal and the tight heat of his throat enclose his aching cock and howled in rapture as he came.  Then quivered as the tease continued, Ibiki's mouth moving up to tease his ear and he cried out once more as his partners completely satisfied his needs... both his strong need for their touch and his lust._

_As his body calmed, both his lovers embraced him, the feel of their bodies against his felt so wonderful!  Ibiki placed a soft kiss on his neck and then looked up to meet Jiraiya's eyes, "I love you... both of you and I could not be happier."_

_Kakashi lay his head back against Ibiki's chest then lifted it to look down at his erection and up to meet Jiraiya's gaze.  As greatly as he wished to touch both his lovers he also wanted to watch them fuck... it was so exciting!  "Jiraiya, please touch Ibiki." his gaze slipped back to meet Ibiki's.  "Please I want to watch you fuck our lover."_

**Ibiki smiled and stroked his Saiai's cheek then looked at Jiraiya, his beloved's eyes were dark with passion.  "Koishii you have no idea how sexy you are when you look at me like that..." Ibiki could see his partner was just as aroused as he was by Kakashi's cries.**

_Kakashi felt his partner's erection flush harder against his ass and nearly pleaded to feel his cock inside him... but this was his lovers time to touch each other.  And the thought of watching them fucking was a even greater a temptation, he felt a rush of excitement as the they all went to the bedroom._

 

_Kakashi watched Jiraiya undress, Ibiki did as well and then he began to undress.   Kakashi watched with interest that was only partly sexual as Jiraiya moved very close as Ibiki undressed.  It brought him a wave of happiness as his beloved seemed to easily accept it.  His lover was extraordinary, he could see his partner was trying to let go of his fears._

_Kakashi's gaze slipped up to the love and deep admiration on Jiraiya's face as he watched Ibiki and when Jiraiya spoke it felt like he'd captured exactly what was in his own heart.  "So brave, so strong, my incredible partner. "  Ibiki was nude and his body pressed against Jiraiya's, it was a very arousing sight... but also very touching. Then Jiraiya reached out a hand drawing Kakashi close as he continued reverently, "I am so very blessed to have you both."_

**Kakashi stood to their side embraced by both his lover's, he looked at Ibiki and asked with a hint of hesitation, "I want to touch you... can I touch you?"**

**Ibiki fought not to show the flash of uncertainty he felt, but it was clear he failed because his beloved's arms dropped, his gaze accepting... No, he would not let his past stop him from feeling his lover's touches.  "Saiai, please touch me, I want your touch."**

**The hint of uncertainty that had been building in his Saiai's eyes eased.  His soft hand feathered over Ibiki's shoulder and slowly down his highly sensitive back as Jiraiya cupped Ibiki's cheek drawing him into a very passionate kiss**. 

 

_Kakashi's strokes paused, his gaze fascinated and growing excited as he watched them.  His hand dropped, his heart pounding at the sight of his sexy lovers caressing each other's body._

 

Ibiki lay Jiraiya down on the bed and rose over him, Jiraiya gave a delighted gasp and loosely wrapped his legs around his partner's waist arching into the enticing sensation of his beloved's cock sinking into his needy body.  "Ah Koishii!  You feel so good!"

 

_Kakashi watched raptly, seeing Ibiki's muscles flexing as he started fucking Jiraiya was tempting, he longed to touch him and feel the powerful flex.  Most riveting was the way his lover's ass cheeks tightened with every thrust... not that he wished to fuck him, it was just very exciting to watch and made him long to feel him._

_Although, he didn't wish to fuck him he did wish he could place his hands on Ibiki's ass as his partner thrust into him, feel the muscles flex as his cock sank into his body, every stroke causing his beloved's muscles to tighten beneath his hands... his thoughts and the sight of his lovers fucking quickly aroused Kakashi._

 

Jiraiya was ecstatic the feel of his beloved thrusting into him was so perfect and only made better by the knowledge that his Myobu was intently watching them. 

 

**Ibiki began thrusting rapidly into the hot grasp, quickly growing fevered with hunger as his lover cried out, rocking into his thrusts and taking him deep into the rapture of his body.  Even through his powerful lust he knew his Saiai was beside them and urged him, "Saiai  touch me."**

**Kakashi gave an excited mew and his soft fingers stroked over Ibiki's back, teasing him further.  His two lover's were quickly reducing him to desperation and he groaned at the ecstasy.  This was breathtaking, the pure rapture of his Koishii's body and the extreme pleasure of his Saiai's caresses.**

**Jiraiya angled his hips and moaned as Ibiki's thrusts brought his orgasm, and Ibiki cried out in ecstasy giving in to his body's demand for release.  As they lay breathless, Kakashi placed tender kisses over his back, Ibiki gave a playful groan, "Saiai your lips feel so wonderful that I'd be desperate to feel your body if I wasn't completely sated!"  He rose off Jiraiya and lay on the bed beside him.**

 

_Jiraiya  gave Kakashi an encouraging little smile, Kakashi cautiously feathered light chakra strokes over Ibiki's chest.  He was ecstatic as he heard lover's breath catch and his cock swelled with lust once more.  Ibiki groaned softly in pleasure, "Saiai..."_

 

**Ibiki was more than just aroused he was delighted, Jiraiya had been teaching Kakashi some new ways to enjoy sex...  his Koishii was so good for them both, helping them find pleasures they would have never known without him.  Jiraiya sat up beside them as Ibiki drew his Saiai down on top of him and kissed him passionately.**

 

Jiraiya smiled in amusement and joy at Ibiki's delighted reaction to Kakashi's tease.  He traced a light brush of chakra over his enthralling Myobu's ass and he squirmed on top of Ibiki earning another approving moan and causing his Koishii to become increasingly aroused. 

 

Jiraiya drew lube and his finger circled Kakashi's entrance, the smaller man mewed into their kiss and bucked softly as his finger stroked over the center, but Jiraiya's touch lightened denying his attempt to take his finger into his body and circled again.  This time as his lover bucked he let his finger slip into his passage then drew it back.  Kakashi was whimpering into his kiss with Ibiki now, his body quivering in need. 

 

When Jiraiya circled again he let his finger remain as his lover took it into his body, then gently fucked his ass with it... slowly he worked up to three fingers.  His Myobu  was getting very good at loosening his muscles and it took much less time than it once did, but by the time he was ready, Kakashi was making wanton mews rocking into the feel.  He whined softly in disappointment as Jiraiya's fingers slipped out.  

 

**Ibiki cupped his hips and encouraged Kakashi up to sitting straddling him, raising him over his erection, then gradually lowering him down on his rigid length to the base.  His Saiai moaned and rocked slightly on it, his tight body grasping and drawing on his cock felt so exquisite!**     

 

As Jiraiya straddled his Koishii's lower legs, his fingers began teasing Kakashi's nipples with a light hum of chakra until the seductive man was writhing and crying out in ecstasy.  Ibiki was moaning loudly, Jiraiya knew every writhe of their love on top of him was flexing his muscles powerfully around his Koishii's erection.  Jiraiya wrapped his hand around Kakashi's arousal and stroked it slowly as he licked up to his ear, he delightedly enjoyed the sound of his wails of pleasure and Ibiki's deep moans as his partner's body clenched tightly around his turgid cock. 

 

**Ibiki bucked up into the fevered rock of his lover's body as Kakashi arched back into Jiraiya's mouth and his beloved keened in rapture as his thrust hit that perfect place inside him.  Ibiki cried out at the strong contractions of his Saiai's passage, thrusting deep and remaining as Jiraiya teased their partner's ear and brought him to a second orgasm.**

**Kakashi lay down on him, the two men were breathless at the intense pleasure.  His Saiai tenderly caressed his cheek then looked back at Jiraiya.  Their lover was smiling fondly at them.**

**This here was everything he could have ever wished for and so much more, Ibiki never imagined he could be so happy.**

**========================================**

**END OF CHAPTER 18**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 18: WHISPERS IN THE DARK (SKILLET)


	19. ALWAYS (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 19)

**ALWAYS (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 19)**

**===================**

 

_Kakashi quietly placed his mission report in the basket before Iruka and congenial Chunin smiled up at him then took the report and scanned it._

_Kotetsu had been the one on mission desk duty when he'd struck Zonzai, but he still expected that at very least,  Iruka would be cold and brisk.  But he wasn't... it was like he didn't know, but there was no way that he would not have.  Kakashi was sure he was the subject of many discussions that night_.

 

Iruka saw a flash of confusion in Kakashi's eye before the serine emotionless mask fell into place once more.  He'd heard about what had happened between Zonzai and Kakashi. 

 

Zonzai was rambunctious, always pushing at others limitations, not out of cruelty he just had a bit too much 'imp' in him.  Even as a child he pushed others buttons to see what he could get away with, his childhood friend always egged him on and was probably the instigator of the incident.

 

Iruka was not surprised Kakashi struck Zonzai and chastised everyone who spoke of it that if they had half a brain they would have known too.  He had given many indications over the years that he did not wish to be touched, and to touch him knowing that was a violation of his rights. 

 

This chastisement had calmed the gossip and things had pretty much returned to normal, aside from that the nin were now polite and well mannered, careful they were not distressing their comrades by being too 'informal'... that wouldn't last.

 

Iruka nodded at the precise report and placed it in the basket to be filed, Kakashi's reports were always flawless.  "Your report looks good, have a pleasant day off."

 

Kakashi gave a slight nod and when he turned to go Iruka heard him quietly reply, "Thank you... I will."

 

Iruka smiled as the reclusive nin left.  Jiraiya was a miracle worker, one day the lonely man may be able to form friendships. 

 

Iruka knew Kakashi would be surprised to hear that after he'd left the missions office Asuma and a few other of the Jounin had called Zonzai a few quite rude names, the kindest of which was 'idiot.'  There were plenty of the solitary man's peers that would gladly welcome his friendship. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi went in a bit early to see Ibiki, he had an ANBU mission and his lovers would not see him until late tonight._

_Ibiki was not in his office as Kakashi entered the building, his beloved stood out by the main watch station and Kakashi walked over to stand beside him.  He wanted Ibiki's touch but while in the view of the other ANBU it would not be acceptable, even if he had been able to ignore the other Shinobi's attention.  When in the main building Ibiki must remain his Commander, to do otherwise would be unprofessional, but as Ibiki concluded his conversation and they turned to walk to his office Ibiki's low tone held love.  "I am glad to see you before your mission."_

 

**Technically he'd see his beloved when he picked up the mission scroll before his mission, but Ibiki knew his lover understood what he meant.  This was not 'work', this was his Saiai choosing to come see him.  When they walked into the office and he closed the door, Ibiki embraced his partner.  Kakashi slipped down his mask and Ibiki nuzzled his throat.  Hearing is lover's little mew of pleasure at the soft nuzzle was pure bliss.  "Saiai you are so precious."**

**Kakashi unfastened a button of his lover's shirt and slid his hand in to rest against his skin.  Although it brought a surge of desire Ibiki knew it was not truly sexual.**

 

_Kakashi needed to feel his partner's warm body beneath his fingers and as his hand rested on his lover's chest he snuggled against him._

_This contact brought him such peace, the feel of his beloved's heart beating beneath his palm, the comfort and love in his partner's gaze..._

 

**Ibiki held him tenderly, he was so thankful for his Saiai's love.  Right now Kakashi was his lover, not one of his ANBU and he did not hide his worry as he said softly, "Be careful."  Kakashi nodded, then took Ibiki's hand, slipped it beneath his flak jacket and placed it on his chest, even through his uniform shirt he could feel the slightly thicker area beneath... Jiraiya's scroll.**

**Ibiki smiled and kissed him gently, "We are very lucky to have him."  Kakashi nodded and stroked over Ibiki's skin once more before drawing his hand out of his lover's shirt.  It was not unusual for Kakashi to be very quiet before a mission, he took every mission very seriously, his mind analyzing scenarios and how could handle any 'deviance' from the planned mission parameters.  Ibiki caressed his face, "Are you going home to see Jiraiya before you go?"**

 

_"Yes." Kakashi wanted to touch Jiraiya before he left, he needed this... too many times he'd almost died.  Before it had not mattered, his life was meaningless, now he had these two men's love.  He would not die... the memory of the feel of them would give him the strength to somehow make it back to them no matter what happened._

_Ibiki smiled and lovingly stroked his face, "I'm sure he'll be glad to see you."  Kakashi pulled his mask up and before opening the door and walking out he quietly said, "I love you."_

_Ibiki replied, "I love you Saiai."_

 

**Kakashi slipped out the door and Ibiki returned to his desk and paperwork, his beloved would return soon for his mission scroll, and the sealed scroll he would bring to Suna.  A scroll... Ibiki was glad it wasn't a mission to 'secure' a scroll...**

**Only the fact Jiraiya had been in the village had prevented his Saiai from being lost forever... no, this was not the time to think about that, those thoughts were best left for the night.**

\-------------------------------------

 

_Jiraiya greeted Kakashi at the door gathering him close in a loving hug, "I am glad you came to see me before your mission, my beautiful Myobu."_

_Kakashi slid his mask down and smiled, his hand lightly brushed over his lover's chest.  Jiraiya's eyes were full of love and understanding, he unfastened his shirt and placed Kakashi's hand on his chest.  The contact was soothing for them both.  Jiraiya kissed his temple.  "I love you."_

_He needed him, he remembered when Jiraiya had left the village... he'd believed it was just 'upsetting' because Ibiki's sorrow, but the truth was he'd felt a strong need for him even then._

_Kakashi snuggled against his body, his hand remained on Jiraiya's chest a few moments longer.  Then he drew it back and silently reassured his partner by placing his hand over the scroll beneath his shirt, he knew his lovers worried about him._

_Jiraiya smiled tenderly,  "Thank you."_

_Kakashi caressed his face, then turned and left to get his mission assignment._

 

Jiraiya remained watching the door a minute more, with every day that passed his lover grew more affectionate.   His Myobu was such a large part of his life, he could not imagine life without him or Ibiki... How much longer did he have before he reached the time when one or both would wish him to leave?

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

While their lover was gone, was a good time to work on pushing Ibiki's limits. "Koishii..." Jiraiya hesitated, after the last time he wasn't sure his beloved would still wish him to, "Do you still wish me to push at your restrictions?" 

 

Ibiki replied solemnly, "Yes."  

 

**Whatever Jiraiya planned on doing it was likely it would cause at very least anxiety... possibly fear and yet he did wish to continue to move toward the freedom others had.  He was determined, the times Kakashi was gone on a mission would be the times they'd work at giving him his freedom back.  He did not want Kakashi to be upset, his Saiai had never seen how badly he reacted sometimes and he didn't want to cause him to hesitate to touch him any more than he already did.  He feared it would change their relationship and he wanted that one thing to remain undamaged.**

 

Jiraiya stripped and stood near as Ibiki undressed, when Ibiki leaned forward to press his torso against Jiraiya's it was the 'permission' to touch him.  Jiraiya lay him down on the bed and covered him, he paused waiting to see if it caused fear and when Ibiki passionately kissed him he groaned at his need to resist taking his beloved into him.  This was an important time, time to help free his lover, not sate his own desires.

 

He drew back from their kiss and slipped down his Koishii's body.  He began licking over the scars of his lover's legs, hips, pelvis, and then stomach up his chest.  Tracing the highly sensitive scars slowly and bringing loud cries of rapture from his beloved.  When he reached his throat, he teased it a moment then murmured softly in his ear, "Turn over Koishii."

 

Jiraiya felt his lover stiffen in fear, but as he moved off him, Ibiki rolled over onto his stomach.  His muscles remained clenched as Jiraiya slid down to his feet once more, carefully not placing any weight on him, he teased the scars up from his ankles.

 

He wanted to give his beloved strong pleasure that would help make this less distressing and was well aware of how his Koishii would react to the feel of his lips on the backs of his knees.  It was a extremely sensitive area of the human body, often his lovers howled in rapture as he kissed them...

 

But his beloved's reaction was not the one he expected and it put an immediate end to Jiraiya's 'exploration'.  Ibiki cried out and lay trembling, but it wasn't in pleasure... it was terror. 

 

Jiraiya's eyes filled with tears as his fingers brushed the badly scared area, Ibiki flinched hard and Jiraiya felt his Koishii's muscles ripple as he resisted his urge to get away.  Jiraiya moved up to lay beside his beloved, he had no words he could say even if his throat hadn't been so thick with tears that he couldn't speak.

 

Nothing he could say would change the horrors his Koishii had suffered... the agony they caused, nothing.  Ibiki was the most brave man he'd ever met just to continue trying to live with the 'damage' they caused, both emotional and physical.  For the first time since he first touched his beloved, he wondered if it was even possible for someone so horribly injured inside to ever be touched freely. 

 

**Ibiki's heart pounded so hard he was short of breath.  He knew Jiraiya lay beside him now, although his Koishii's body did not touch his own.  He turned his head to look at him and saw his beloved silently crying.**

**"Shhh Koishii, do not cry.  My amazing beloved, please don't cry."  Ibiki struggled with his desire to hold and comfort him and his need not to be touched at this moment.**

**Jiraiya replied quietly, "I would do anything if I could change what happened..."**

**Ibiki stroked his lover's face.  "I know... but you are helping me overcome it now."**

**"Am I Koishii?  Do you feel like my touches are helping you or is it just that you are learning to accept the fear?"  Jiraiya's eyes remained dark with sorrow, the lashes damp with tears.**

**"I am getting better Koishii.  I promise you are helping me."  Ibiki crooned, trying to soothe his beloved.  Jiraiya gave him a little loving smile, but his eyes still remained sad.  Ibiki wiped the tears from his partner's cheeks. **

 

Jiraiya lay flat on his back, his arms relaxed at his sides.  "If you feel like... continuing, I think we should work on you touching me... I'm sorry, but I just can't touch you right now.  I think we've both had enough of that for today."

 

Ibiki nodded, his hand brushed over Jiraiya's chest and upper torso.  Then to Jiraiya's surprise he felt his beloved place light kisses over his chest and then stomach.  Jiraiya was about to 'protest' that he should not push too greatly at his limits, but to his surprise he saw no nervousness on his Koishii's face.  

 

His incredible partner still trusted enough that he did not hesitate to kiss his stomach, although not his pelvis, but Jiraiya truly did not expect him to... he didn't expect any of it.   His Koishii was so very strong.   Perhaps his lover was slowly getting better and he could not stop helping his amazing beloved to break free of the abuse in his past.

 

**Jiraiya held out his hand, his muscles relaxed and loose.  Ibiki understood, his lover was offering for him to take his hand to explore the areas he could, even after upsetting his Koishii he had not stopped offering to help.  He took Jiraiya's hand and placed it on his chest, it did not move until Ibiki asked, "Touch me Koishii."**

**Jiraiya stroked over his skin tenderly, the love in his touch wiped away so many fears and after a moment he moved his partner's hand lower.  The light feathers of his lover's fingers over the delicate flesh of his pelvis drew a soft moan, breathless and very aroused he asked, "Koishii... I want you."**

**Jiraiya's gaze was full of love, "Koishii I want you, always and forever, you are so extraordinary."  Ibiki's rising lust was tempered by love, and as he slipped up over his beloved, he passionately kissed his throat up to his lips.  When Jiraiya wrapped his legs loosely around his waist he slowly pressed into the hot welcome of his lover's passage, still unwilling to give up the feel of his Koishii's lips even as he felt the exquisite pleasure of his partner's body accepting him.  Jiraiya whimpered into their kiss but cupped Ibiki's head, gently encouraging him to stay.**

 

Jiraiya wasn't sure which felt better the bliss of his lover's kisses or the glorious sensation of his rigid flesh sinking into his body.  Ibiki fully sheathed his arousal and rocked, then drew back from their kiss to moan loudly and Jiraiya gasped, "Koishii!  I love you so much!" 

 

**Ibiki urged his beloved, "Cup my hips."  He wanted everything that others had, to enjoy and find pleasure in every touch, his Koishii was helping... he'd given him so much back, he could find enjoyment of his lover's hands on his hips even past any uneasiness that lingered.**

**Jiraiya lightly grasped his hips, Ibiki circled them and his beloved cried out in delight.  Jiraiya's hands tightened slightly as he guided Ibiki's movements to excite them both the most,  soon his beloved was giving fevered moans of desire and Ibiki began thrusting into the tempting grasp.  The sound of his Koishii's pleasure had teased him so greatly he felt as urgently needy as his partner.**

**Their fucking grew more fevered as both neared their climax.  Jiraiya's hands tightened on his hips as he rocked, rising to meet his thrusts, driving Ibiki's cock as deep as possible and giving ecstatic cries.  It was those urgent moans that brought Ibiki's release and as he gave in to his orgasm he resisted pausing deep, instead bucking rapidly against his lover's pleasure spot as he came.  He delighted in hearing his Koishii's cries of rapture and feeling the ecstasy of his beloved's body grasping his swollen length, drawing on it until he could give no more and they both lay on the bed breathless.**

**"You amaze me Koishii." Jiraiya murmured stroking his skin lightly.**

**Ibiki smiled and teased, "Oh I wouldn't say I'm that great of a lover."   But he knew what Jiraiya was saying and felt so very blessed he had not lost Jiraiya.   His beloved was proud of his choices to continue fighting for what all three of them yearned for... he knew his Koishii and Saiai wished to freely be touched and to be able to touch him without bringing him anxiety.  Ibiki was determined it was a goal they would meet.  He wanted that freedom so greatly.**

**After a few more moments Ibiki kissed his lover deeply, then rose off him and they went to shower, he didn't wish to cause his wonderful partner distress after how he'd reacted... the terror he felt at being 'trapped' on his stomach, the tender flesh at the back of his knees unprotected...  no, he would not think of that, his beloved's touch was not theirs.  He wanted to try again, softly he asked, "Koishii will you please touch the backs of my knees?"**

**Jiraiya's gaze was deeply loving, "Yes."**

Jiraiya was surprised at his lover's courage, he'd terrified him but he wished to try again in a less frightening position, standing he could move away.  Jiraiya remained in front of his beloved lightly stroking down his back and over his ass as he sank down before him. 

 

Ibiki looked very uneasy, but did not back away.  Jiraiya placed tender kisses over his Koishii's stomach and pelvis, refusing to think of the terrible pain each scar represented as his fingers feathered very gently over the back of his lover's knees.

 

**Ibiki was uncertain how he felt, while the soft stroke over his ass had been a bit distressing, it was the light brush of his partner's fingers on the backs of his knees that brought a chill as well as an slightly uncomfortable sensation.  The area was so extremely sensitive, even if he got past the fear he wasn't sure if he could ever find pleasure in strokes over the area.  The thought brought him sadness.  His Koishii had only wished to give him strong pleasure, that area had to be very pleasurable for others, but he'd lost that.**

 

Jiraiya saw his beloved's eyes turn sad and slipped up to cradled him to his body, silently accepting that if he could talk about it he would.

 

Ibiki spoke quietly, "They are too badly damaged, I get no pleasure... the area is too sensitive."

 

Jiraiya caressed his back lightly bringing wonderful sensations and replied, "Your back was very badly damaged..."

 

**Ibiki thought on his words, yes his back had been very tender, he'd been uncomfortable with touches.  But it had gotten better as he got used to contact and now being stroked on his back brought a great deal of pleasure.  Ibiki kissed his compassionate lover, even when he lost hope Jiraiya always found a way to help.  "Thank you Koishii.  I want you to continue touching there."**

**Once his nerves adapted to the stimulation of being touched he may find pleasure in it, but even if it was never pleasurable, at very least it would free another area he could be touched without distress.**

**Jiraiya nodded.  They finished drying and walked back into the bedroom, Ibiki put on some sleep pants and they lay holding each other until they were relaxed enough to sleep, then his beloved rose, kissed him and went out to sleep on the couch.**

**Ibiki wished he could sleep beside him... that he could be near, but he could not ask him to sleep on the floor and his Koishii would not 'take' Kakashi's bed.**

 

\------------------------------------

 

It was late when Kakashi silently slipped in, Jiraiya watched him and felt the tension seep away, both his and his Koishii's.  He knew Ibiki had also 'felt' their lover return and now he would sleep.  Even if his beloved tried not to worry he still waited anxiously for their partner's return each time he had 'short' missions, short missions were usually the highest risk and Ibiki only slept soundly once he'd returned.  It was the same as Jiraiya himself did. 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi showered and put on some sleep pants, then walked out of the bedroom and stood looking at Jiraiya's body.  He had just been walking through to get a bottle of water when he saw his lover's nude form laying so enticingly on the couch._

_His eyes traveled over the riveting body, pausing on his partner's cock a moment before slipping up to meet Jiraiya's eyes._

 

Jiraiya had heard him walk out of the bedroom but did not open his eyes at first, not until he realized Kakashi was still standing there looking at him.  He looked up curiously, the sensual man's sleep pants sat low on his hips leaving the seductive 'v' of his hips peaking out to hint at the outstanding body hidden beneath the cloth.  He hardened at the sight, but remained curiously looking up at his lover.

 

_Kakashi watched his partner's large cock flush with desire, then met Jiraiya's eyes and stated, "I want to touch you."_

_Jiraiya nodded, his gaze accepting and without expectation, "I would like that, I love the feel of your hands."_

_When his lover had become erect Kakashi had felt a powerful desire to touch him and caress the silky skin of his cock.  It was more than lust, although that was a powerful drive, it was the urge to feel his beloved's warm skin and hear his ecstasy._

_Kakashi stroked softly over Jiraiya's chest, feeling the muscles flex in reaction to the stimulation... touches brought such pleasure, both being touched and touching.  So many years he had not known these delightful sensations._

_His fingers continued down to his lover's pelvis and he watched his partner's cock respond eagerly to his caresses, then covered the turgid head with his mouth.  His tongue brushed over the tender flesh, feeling the hard length and licking the silky skin, then probing gently at the hole._

_Jiraiya gasped sharply in pleasure and gave a low moan.  "Myobu that feels wonderful!" his voice was husky, but his eyes held as much love as they did desire._

_Kakashi felt a rush at his lover's delight, it excited him greatly and his explorations turned to a powerful  hunger and a stronger desire to hear his partner's cries of pleasure.  His cock now almost painfully aroused and his need growing with every moan from his beloved._

_Kakashi remained sucking on the swollen flesh and listening to his lover's ecstatic cries until his cock throbbed, then released the tempting length, rose and stripped his pants off before sliding up over him and rocking his hips wantonly as he begged, "I want you... I want to feel you inside me."_

_Jiraiya shook his head, "I can't Myobu, not right now, it would hurt you."_

_Kakashi  sighed quietly and nodded, Jiraiya would not fuck him, he wanted that more with every time he watched his lovers and listened to their cries of rapture.  "Will you touch me... inside?"_

 

Jiraiya smiled, "Yes, my Myobu.  I would like to touch you."  He'd heard his beloved's soft sigh, he wished he could do what his partner desired but he couldn't hurt him and without being well prepared even sheathing himself in his lover's tight body would hurt him.

 

Jiraiya nibbled and teased his beloved's throat his hands caressing over his lover's mesmerizing body gently sending little pulses of chakra out to play over his skin, tempting him until he'd reached a point he was making pleading whimpers then shifting to lay him on the couch and covering him, kissing slowly down his exceptional body, and stroking his cock lightly, denying the friction he craved and teasing him further.

 

Jiraiya slipped down between his lover's parted legs and pushed his partner's knees up to bent then took his balls in his mouth sucking on first one then the other and teasing the trapped flesh with his tongue as his finger traced around the tight entrance to his beloved's body.

 

He could not have intercourse with his smaller lover, but after his Myobu was sated, he would be able to wait until he was prepared and Ibiki could have sex with him.  Their partner had walked out and sat in a chair watching them.  He stroked his cock slowly and  Jiraiya wanted to whimper at the tease!    He released their lover's balls and lovingly met Ibiki's eyes as he offered a bottle of lube.

 

Jiraiya dampened his finger and coaxed Kakashi's muscles until his body was loose enough Ibiki would not hurt him now.  Jiraiya's own strong temptation had continued as Ibiki remained close, his hand was stroking over his ass, the light provocative caress had Jiraiya's cock throbbing and he groaned softly, "Koishii!"

 

Ibiki was well aware how greatly he was teasing him and had an amused smirk,  Jiraiya replaced his lover's amusement with stunned pleasure as his other hand enclosed Ibiki's erection and drew on the turgid flesh with skillful caresses that tempted but did not provide the stimulation his body was now demanding.

 

**Ibiki gave a loud moan and, when Jiraiya released him, he kissed him hungrily.  Then he drew back, sat on the couch and guided his Saiai up to straddle his lap.  He cupped his firm ass lowering him down slowly on the rigid length, Kakashi mewed and trembled, placing passionate kisses over Ibiki's chest, Jiraiya had aroused him greatly... and watching his partners had left Ibiki nearly as needy as his Saiai.**

**Ibiki held his slender lover's hips as he rose up to the tip and sank down upon his aching cock, the two men moaned at the glorious feel of it, and Jiraiya leaned in to tease Kakashi as he murmured, "Resist cumming Myobu."  Kakashi gave a soft mew at the feel of Jiraiya's breath on his ear but nodded.**

**Ibiki knew their lover was going to tempt them greatly, and that it was unlikely they'd be able to resist long with his experienced touch teasing them.**

 

Jiraiya knelt before his Koishii, his fingers lightly brushing Kakashi's tender rim and Ibiki's balls as Kakashi began to move on his lover's cock.  His Myobu had enjoyed when he'd stopped him from cumming before, Jiraiya suspected he liked the tease of it, Ibiki also seemed to enjoy it tremendously. 

 

**Ibiki felt their lover's enthralling touch gently stroking his balls and groaned giving another soft buck into the delight of his Saiai's extraordinary body.**

**It did not take long to have them crying out breathless with rapture and Jiraiya purred, "Cum." as his finger's sent a steady hum of chakra over the filled entrance.  Ibiki moaned loudly grasping Kakashi tight as he climaxed and feeling his beloved's cum dampen their abs.**

**Ibiki had held his Saiai close to lessen the force of his buck as he came and Kakashi was not hurt by it...  he kissed his beloved tenderly and lifted him up off his sated length.  Jiraiya smiled at their pleasure then his gaze turned passionate as the two men turned their attention to his need.  Kakashi was eagerly stroked his cock as Ibiki kissed him and caressed his chest.**

 

Jiraiya moaned, it was more than their actions that was leaving him almost desperate.  It was the combined attention of both his lovers that was very arousing and he would not be able to resist cumming much longer! 

 

Jiraiya was amused as Kakashi then surprised Ibiki by brushing chakra strokes over his cock and balls, he groaned at the tease and flushed hard.  Kakashi's intension was revealed a second later as he met Ibiki's gaze and begged, "I want to see you fuck our lover." 

 

Ibiki caressed his cheek gently then turned his attention to Jiraiya, "I want you." 

 

"Yes, please Koishii, I need you!"  Jiraiya breathlessly encouraged, his beloved led him into the bedroom and Kakashi delightedly followed.  As Ibiki lay on the bed Jiraiya eagerly straddled his hips taking his lover into the nirvana of his body .  The two men moaned at the glorious feel of their partner's body joining with theirs.

 

"Myobu, please touch us..."  Jiraiya urged, he wanted to feel both his lover's against him once more and gave a deep ecstatic moan at the feel of Kakashi's soft hand stroking his skin.

 

**Ibiki extremely aroused by his partners, fevered with lust he thrust rapidly into the wonderful grasp of his lover's passage.  Jiraiya's passion was so intense, his cries strained Ibiki's control and made it nearly impossible for him to resist his climax.**

 

Jiraiya groaned in delight at the fascination and excitement on his Myobu's face and the passion and desire in every movement of his Koishii's body.  They quickly had him trembling at his attempt to delay his orgasm. 

 

_Kakashi watched the meeting of his lover's bodies and their expressions, when Ibiki came he reached up stroking Jiraiya's cock until he arched and moaned his rapture as he gave in to his orgasm.  As Jiraiya climaxed Kakashi delightedly brushed his fingers over his ass feeling the muscles flex._

 

Jiraiya lay covering Ibiki's body and kissed him deeply, then lifted off his exhausted lover and teased, "We should shower, Kakashi and I may not have work... but you do Koishii."

 

Ibiki gave a soft laugh, "Yes, I suppose I should get some sleep."

 

**The three men quickly showered and when Kakashi and Ibiki lay on their beds, both sets of eyes rested on Jiraiya as he left the room to sleep on the couch.  Kakashi looked over, his gaze solemn, "I want him in here... but not on the floor."**

**Ibiki nodded, they needed to find a solution, he could not ask his partners to share a bed, that was not fair to either man... sharing a bed... sharing him?  Kakashi didn't feel like he was having to 'share' him did he?  "Saiai... do you love him... even if I wasn't here, would you love him?"**

**Kakashi looked extremely alarmed and Ibiki quickly corrected, "I am not leaving, I will never leave... I just worry that this is not fair to you."**

**His beloved rose from his bed slipped into Ibiki's bed and hugged him.  He'd upset him... his Saiai was afraid of being left.  "I promise I will never walk away."**

**Kakashi snuggled against him insecurely, "I won't let you."  After a few minutes of being caressed he gradually relaxed, he lay quietly for several minutes then answered Ibiki's question.  "I love him, I love you... do you feel you are sharing me... or him?"**

**Ibiki kissed his head, "No Saiai, I feel like the luckiest man on earth to have both your love and it makes me happy to know you love him... I know he loves both of us very deeply."**

**Kakashi sighed softly as the stress left him, after a moment he kissed Ibiki tenderly then rose.  "We need to sleep."**

**Ibiki nodded, "Yes."**

 

Jiraiya could hear the low murmur of his lover's voices for a bit, but it did not take long for both his partners to fall asleep.  The quiet conversation made him uneasy, it was possible they wished to spend more time alone, wished to have time with just each other. 

 

Jiraiya lay awake until just before dawn lost in memories of the last day he'd had with each of his Angels before having them walk away and wondering how he'd handle the pain when that 'last day' came with his Koishii and Myobu.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

_When Ibiki and Kakashi woke they saw their lover sleeping, it did not look like he'd slept well and they exchanged a guilty look, they had to find a solution.  Both men decided they'd leave the house without coffee or tea so they would not wake him, Ibiki went to work and Kakashi followed to go train._

_He held a slim hope, perhaps someone would spar with him.  It was unlikely, many of his ANBU peers were uneasy around him, which was ironic since no one who was not ANBU was noticeably uncomfortable they usually ignored he was present... but that was for the best, he didn't want anyone getting too close._

 

\---------------------------

 

Jiraiya woke and looked around, he could not feel his lovers chakra signatures... neither were here.  They'd left, and while he tried to tell himself that they'd seen how tired he was and just not wanted to wake him, in the back of his mind lingered doubt, it was possible they were growing tired of him... and it was Kakashi's day off.  Jiraiya shook his head, lingering in thoughts like that would not prevent it from happening, all he had was the present and he should just enjoy it.

 

Jiraiya rose and dressed, he wasn't sure what his Koishii would wish to cook tonight... he could stop and ask him, but he couldn't face it if his lover looked at him with indifference.  No, he'd just buy a variety of items and he was sure his Koishii could whip up something... he was an exceptional cook... his beloved was extraordinary in so many ways.  He doubted he'd see his Myobu, he probably had many things he'd like to do with his day off.

 

Jiraiya looked over at the coffee pot shook his head and walked out to go to the market.  He should have woke and got the tea and coffee ready for them.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi was a disappointed, although he hid it, no one had wished to spar and there was only so much training that could be done by himself.  He was sure Jiraiya had rose by now and he was looking forward to removing his uniform showering and spending the day beside his lover._

_When he walked in he felt another much stronger disappointment, Jiraiya wasn't home.  He'd probably went to the market square for fresh ingredients for their evening meal... He knew he should shower and just stay there, his lover would return... but he really wanted to see him.  Enough so that he decided he'd go to the market and find him, he needed just to be near him._

\------------------------------------

 

"Hey you're the writer of those porn books, right?"

 

Jiraiya turned to look at the inquisitive man, raised an eyebrow and replied in amusement, "Well, I've never heard them called that, that's a new one.  Yes, I write the Icha Icha series, I assume that is what you are referring to."

 

The Shinobi studied him with undisguised lust, "I'm Daichi, maybe we could go somewhere private and I could 'inspire you.'"  His eyes dropped to the basket of vegetables Jiraiya was carrying.  "I can think of many very fun things to do with these vegetables."  He stroked the cucumber suggestively.

 

Jiraiya laughed as Daichi flirt with him, but what the young fool was not aware was that he had not found his tease humorous but his attempt to entice him.  Crude and inexperienced, lines only worked on the naive.  "I'm sure you do know some 'fun' things we could do with these vegetables, however they will be part of me and my partner's evening meal and I'm sure that would be a better use for them."

 

Silly boy, vibrators were much better and if it was the cool sensation he craved he should just buy a Pyrex phallus... it could be stored in the refrigerator before use... Ah, but then he really had no interest in having this conversation with him.  "I must go, I have many more items to buy."  Jiraiya began to walk away but Daichi trotted to catch up, "I could walk with you for a bit and we could talk... I really need to go this way anyway."

 

Jiraiya did not argue, he was neither surprised nor disturbed by Daichi's attempts to seduce him... nor was he in anyway interested but the young man could walk with him until he got bored, then he'd go home to his lover.  Although Daichi had not 'known' who he was, he was familiar with most of the village's residents just through sitting in the market watching them.  Daichi's partner, Chen, was fanatically devoted to Daichi, there was no doubt he was waiting at their apartment for him to be finished with his day and come home.

 

Jiraiya could feel Kakashi near, perhaps he was watching the villagers like he often did when not on duty... but as the familiar chakra signature continued following him.  Jiraiya decided it would be best to return home, he'd gotten everything they needed.  The fact his Myobu had not joined him hinted that he must not feel comfortable in public right now, and Jiraiya wanted to be somewhere private so he could hold him.

 

\---------------------------

 

_Kakashi watched Daichi intently.   The Chunin_ _wanted Jiraiya... he couldn't have him, he and Ibiki needed him.  He knew the man did not love Jiraiya and after they fucked Daichi would probably look for another partner... Or he could continue pursuing Jiraiya, i_ _t was best to 'remove the threat'.  It would be a permanent solution to what may be a temporary problem, but then he was fond of permanent solutions._

_Even after Jiraiya left the market, he continued watching the promiscuous nin.  As Daichi left the market and started towards the training field Kakashi followed, now he stood in a tree near the field  thinking about the best way to remove him and eliminate the body._

_Kakashi suddenly felt Jiraiya's chakra signature appear behind him, his lover spoke gently.  "His lover will be very sad if you kill him, Chen loves him very much." Kakashi didn't look back, Jiraiya's words did not change his urge to remove the threat.  Daichi's partner may love him but it was clear from  Daichi's actions that he did not feel the same way... and no one would take Jiraiya from them, he wouldn't allow it._

 

Jiraiya did not grab him or attempt to physically stop him, to do that would not solve the problem, as long as his beloved felt Daichi was a threat he would eventually kill him.  He'd known when he'd left the market and Kakashi had not followed, he'd hoped he'd find his lover in time and he had.  "My gorgeous Myobu, the only touches I desire are yours and Ibiki's... I feel nothing at any others touch.  The only bodies I wish to touch is yours and Ibiki's... no one else interests me.  Even if they could excite my body they would only make me wish to touch you and Ibiki, not them.  The only cries of pleasure I wish to hear are my cherished partner's."

 

Kakashi glanced back, his gaze softening in adoration.  Jiraiya coaxed, "I long to feel you in my arms and kiss you... you are so very precious to me... my silver Kitsune."

 

_Kakashi wanted to feel his beloved's arms around him, there in his arms was peace... bliss.  He turned and walked into the warmth of his lover's embrace.  Jiraiya cradled him gently and kissed his brow, "This brings me greater pleasure than any other could ever give me, I only love you and Ibiki... always."_

_Kakashi lay his head against his partner's broad chest, "I want to go home."  That man did not matter, Jiraiya did not want him._

_Jiraiya's hand rubbed his back lightly, "Yes, Myobu, I do too."  Kakashi clung to him as his lover made the hand signs bringing them back to their house._

_Kakashi just wanted to feel his beloved's embrace a bit longer. "Will you lay beside me, hold me?"_

_Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, "Anytime you wish."  His lover caressed his body softly as he held him and his eyes closed in pleasure as Jiraiya gently stroked his face._

_Kakashi sighed, this felt so good... so soothing, he felt protected and loved.  The wonderful touches soon put him in a light doze._

 

Jiraiya watched the beautiful face relax in sleep and smiled fondly.  Then he lay thinking about the way Kakashi had behaved about Daichi's propositioning him.  The insecurity he'd shown today was stronger than it had been for weeks, had something upset his beloved?

 

After a few minutes, Kakashi opened his eyes and looked up at him, the beautiful eyes held love and Jiraiya's heart melted. "Myobu, my cherished one.  I would do anything for you."

 

_Kakashi felt so happy, seeing the love in his partner's eyes made everything feel so perfect.  Jiraiya kissed his brow softly._

_Kakashi hesitated to ask, Jiraiya would be very upset if he hurt him... but he trusted his lover and did not believe it was even a possibility.  "Will you spar with me?  I know I'm not a challenge..."_

Jiraiya kissed him stopping his words and then replied, "Don't ever sell yourself short, you are far stronger than you believe.  I would love to spar with you."

 

Kakashi looked surprised, then delighted.  They rose and Kakashi quickly grabbed his gear, "I wish to use the ANBU training room."  Jiraiya nodded, he understood, there his lover did not need to hold back out of concern of someone seeing his advanced level of skill.  If someone  saw it would be very clear he was ANBU.

 

Kakashi's expression went blank as they walked out the door just as it always did, but during the walk Jiraiya saw him glance up several times his gaze adoring before returning to expressionless.

 

When they reached the building Jiraiya followed Kakashi to the training room... it was a huge open bay, plenty of room for hard training.  He stopped inside looking around and was surprised when he felt his Myobu embrace him, Jiraiya kissed him and purred, "Are you trying to get my guard down?" 

 

He was teasing and for a second he thought Kakashi may not understand that, but his lover looked amused and replied, "Or maybe you are trying to get mine down." 

 

Jiraiya laughed and Kakashi stepped away drew a deep breath to calm himself and they took their positions in the training room center.

_They began sparring, trading blows several times... or more like Jiraiya blocking blows but allowing a few to land to set up counter strikes.  Kakashi was ecstatic, his partner wasn't humoring him, he definitely was not using blows that would badly injure but he wasn't holding back too greatly._

 

Jiraiya could see beneath his beloved's intent gaze his excitement at the chance to spar with him, he should have done this earlier it was good for his lover and challenged him so he could continue to improve.  His Myobu was quite good and had surprised him with unusual combo attacks that truly showed talent.

 

When his partner held up a hand ending the training, Jiraiya walked over and embraced him kissing his sweaty beloved deeply, "You are incredible Myobu."  Kakashi smiled and murmured, "I liked this... thank you."

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his throat, Kakashi gasped and whimpered softly, "I need your touch."

 

Jiraiya nodded and performed the hand signs.  His beloved pressed against him and mewed, he was very tempting but... Jiraiya teased, "Come, you should shower." 

 

He lead Kakashi into the bathroom, his light caresses easily stripping him, then he stripped and followed his partner into the shower.  He needed to loosen his lover's muscles or they'd tighten up and hurt.  He knew they hurt now and that his beloved didn't actually mind it, but they did not hurt badly and Jiraiya wanted it to stay that way, he hated the thought of his precious Myobu in pain. 

 

_[i]Jiraiya soaped his hands massaging his body as he washed him.  Kakashi groaned softly, the kneading of his sore muscles brought both pleasure and pain, but left him feeling relaxed and his sore muscles ceased their protests.  Even before the massage, the pain was mild, it was not anything he was not used to.  Training when done right should leave the ones sparing sore... although he doubted his partner was sore anywhere._

_His lover rinsed him, then continued lightly feathering his fingers over him with silky touches that teased and quickly had him mewing and trembling in delight.  Jiraiya sank down and took his erection in his mouth drawing on and tempting the needy flesh.  Then releasing it to lick his pelvis and balls as he kneaded his ass gently.  Kakashi whimpered, the enticing feel of his touch on his ass made him wish his partner would fuck him... but he knew he would not._

_He cried out as his lover took his now throbbing cock in his mouth again and dropped down to the base, urging him to thrust into the ecstasy and quickly and came in the tight moist hold of his partner's throat.  Jiraiya cupped his balls his finger stroking the tender skin behind them and Kakashi gave another buck as he sated his hunger._

_Jiraiya slipped up and embraced him placing loving kisses over his shoulders as his heart drummed at the powerful surge of pleasure.  He could feel his lover's large cock pressed against him, and his hand trailed down to stroke lightly over the engorged length.  Jiraiya moaned softly his gaze full of love, "I love your touch."  Kakashi placed kisses over his chest licking his nipple and slowly tracing chakra over his pelvis and around to the firm cheeks of his ass._

 

 Jiraiya's muscles flexed as he resisted bucking, then remembered he didn't have to resist with Kakashi, his lover wished to feel his erection thrusting against him.  Sometimes it was hard to balance the needs of his partner's, both were special, unique in their own ways and he wanted to give them everything they desired.   Jiraiya rocked against his beloved slowly and he felt Kakashi's shiver of excitement, which turned to soft whimpers as his mouth dipped to his Myobu's sensitive throat. 

 

_Slowly Jiraiya's tempting mouth slipped up towards his ear and Kakashi clung to him gasping at the powerful tease.  His body was quickly recovering, by the time the slow seduction had reached his ear he was very aroused once more and he wantonly mewed rocking his cock against his partner's rigid flesh._

 

Jiraiya took his lover's hand and brought it to enclose their erections along with his own.  As they fucked the tight grasp the sensations were amazing, the sound of his beloved's cries of rapture the strongest tease of all.

 

Kakashi looked down at their thrusting cocks and moaned, then his eyes lifted to meet Jiraiya's eyes with a passionate gaze.  Jiraiya could see he was very excited by the sight, his beloved was so naturally seductive... every look, every touch from his lover tempted and made his need grow.  

 

His beloved was nearing his release and Jiraiya tempted them both with a gentle brush of chakra over the heads of their cocks.  It was the final tease, they both thrust firmly and came in the wonderful grasp of their hands.  Kakashi looked down at their cum and then sank down to lick Jiraiya's cock, then up his stomach.  Jiraiya groaned at the tease.  "So sexy, beautiful Myobu."

 

Kakashi rose and snuggled into him, Jiraiya was happy to see his lover was becoming more relaxed and able to express his feelings better.  Once more Jiraiya washed him, then himself, they dried and dressed then walked to the ANBU building to meet  their partner. 

 

This time Jiraiya didn't pause outside, he 'led' Kakashi into the building  and to their lover's office.  Ibiki was just locking his safe and turned to smile at his partners.

 

Kakashi glanced at the now closed door then slipped his mask off and molded himself to Ibiki kissing him lovingly. 

 

Jiraiya smiled, yes this was better, his lover could greet their partner in privacy before they started home.  Kakashi lay against Ibiki but reached out a hand for Jiraiya, he stepped forward and embraced his lovers and kissed Ibiki tenderly. 

 

**Ibiki commented, "I heard you and Jiraiya trained."**

**Kakashi gave a happy smile, "I enjoyed the challenge."**

**Ibiki loved that smile, his Koishii made such a good partner for them both.  Before Jiraiya he'd never seen that beautiful smile, and he could see his Saiai opening up more everyday as he learned from their patient lover how to express his emotions and talk about them.**

 

_Jiraiya stroked his back, softly massaging it as they spoke, it felt so good.  Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya, Ibiki didn't know he'd almost 'removed' Daichi, he easily avoided the patrol and no one would have known he'd killed him... no one but Jiraiya.  Kakashi didn't like keeping anything from his beloved, he looked at Ibiki and honestly stated.  "I was going to eliminate Daichi today."_

_Ibiki did not look disturbed, or disapproving, he understood.  "Because he was propositioning Jiraiya."_

_Kakashi nodded, he felt no guilt at the admission and his lover understood his motivation, he was sure Ibiki had gotten a report with the information of Daichi's interest in their partner.  Jiraiya gently caressed his cheek, Kakashi was always astounded by the understanding and acceptance his lovers showed._

_Jiraiya had gave no protests, only stated Daichi's lover would miss him.  He had not asked him not to kill him and he was sure he would not have stopped him.  Their loving partner simply stated that he wanted no one but he and Ibiki... loved only them._

_And Ibiki's eyes held acceptance, he would not have become upset even if he'd been told Kakashi had killed Daichi... although he was sure Ibiki would prefer he did not kill a Leaf nin._

 

**He hadn't anticipated Kakashi reacting like that, but he should have, the young nin was lucky Jiraiya had known. It was likely this tied in with his giving his Saiai a fright last night by asking if he'd still love Jiraiya if he wasn't around.  It was very understandable that he feared losing them, Ibiki felt the same way about the thought of losing either of his lovers.**

**Ibiki nuzzled his Saiai, "We ready to go home?"  Kakashi nodded, he looked so content that Ibiki held him a few more minutes before releasing him and stroking Jiraiya's face.  His Koishii had found a way to modify their routine and comfortably allow their lover to greet him.  They were so blessed to have Jiraiya.**

**======================================================**

**THE END OF CHAPTER 19**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 19: ALWAYS (KILLSWITCH ENGAGE)


	20. FOR THE NIGHT (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 20)

**FOR THE NIGHT (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 20)**

**================================================**

 

_Kakashi took the mission scroll looked it over and nodded, he was to take a group of Chunin out on a simple mission, essentially babysit them while they trained... not a thrilling concept, but he could do it._

_First he needed to go talk to Ibiki, both as his ANBU Commander and his lover.  If Ibiki had ANBU missions for him, he would arrange for another to take the supervision of the Chunin, ANBU assignments came before any standard mission, especially one so trivial._

 

\------------------

**Ibiki looked over his copy of the 'mission' plan again, then nodded.  His top ANBU would be unavailable for five days... he had no essential missions to assign him so gave his 'permission' to go on the standard nin mission.**

**That responsibility done he was now free to be his partner, Ibiki cupped his lover to him.  "I will miss you.  Jiraiya will too."  He knew his Saiai would go to the house and grab his gear, he was glad Jiraiya would get a chance to see him before he went on the mission.**

 

_Kakashi felt so content.  The love of his partners had changed his whole life, he could have never imagined any of this, the warmth and happiness of having them to care for him and being able to care for them._

_Kakashi looked up at Ibiki and brushed his cheek, he loved his partners so greatly, "I will miss you both."_

_Ibiki kissed him gently, and after a moment Kakashi stepped back slipped up his mask and walked out.  He needed to go get his gear for a regular mission, his ANBU gear would not be appropriate even if it hadn't given away that he was in ANBU... he had no use for a garrote or other 'specialized' items he used on ANBU missions on a regular mission._

 

\----------------

 

When Kakashi walked into the house Jiraiya looked up from the pages he was editing, soon he would have a new novel for his publisher... who was ecstatic.  He rose, walked over to greet his lover and enclosed him in his arms.  Kakashi relaxed against him, when the exotic bi-colored eyes lifted to meet his he smiled, "It is nice to see you Myobu."  Jiraiya waited knowing his beloved would explain why he was visiting in the middle of the day, it was very likely that he was going on a mission.

 

Kakashi lay his hand on Jiraiya's chest and lightly stroked it, "I will be gone five days, standard mission." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I will miss you."  His breath caught as he felt his Myobu's fingers slip down and brush over his cloth bound erection and he softly groaned,  "So sexy..." 

 

He knew they did not have the time for sex, but his partner would have a bit of time before going to meet his team and there was something he could do that would bring both of them gratification. 

 

"Kitsune,"  Jiraiya purred in his lover's ear, his warm breath teasing the sensitive rim.  Kakashi shivered and pressed harder against him.  Jiraiya's fingers feathered over his beloved's needy flesh through the fabric of his pants as he nibbled his throat.  When he had the sensual man trembling and giving wanton mews he slipped down and freed his cock, covering the engorged length and skillfully drawing on it until his Myobu was bowed into the pleasure giving loud moans of ecstasy.  Then he urged his partner to thrust into the temptation as he tightened his throat muscles around his erection.

 

Soon Kakashi was crying out lustily rocking into the seduction of his mouth and cumming.  Jiraiya sucked and tempted the sensitive length until his lover's needs were completely satisfied before releasing him and rising to embrace him.  "My beautiful Myobu."  His beloved's cries of rapture brought him so much joy, knowing he gave his cherished partner that strong of pleasure was better than sexual release.

 

_Kakashi kissed his experienced lover passionately, but after a moment he reluctantly stepped back.  He went, washed up and grabbed his pack.  Before going out the door he paused looking back at Jiraiya.  He wished he had time to feel his beloved  inside him... How long would it be before his partner could fuck him?  Would it be soon?_

 

Jiraiya gently smiled, "Go, I will see you in five days my Kitsune."  Kakashi nodded and walked out, Jiraiya had seen the longing in his lover's eyes.  It was likely his beloved wished he could have touched him sexually, but he would only be gone for five days and when he returned they could spend his day off together.

 

Jiraiya returned to his fledgling novel, his cock ached but it was not so much a distraction as a 'spur' to write on the next chapter.  His Myobu was so very seductive, he aroused him so greatly that the chapter came very easily.

 

He was still working on the chapter when his Koishii came home.  He rose and placed his papers in the desk drawer, then went over to embrace his beloved. 

 

**Ibiki could feel his lover's erection, although he tried not to press it to him. "My Koishii..."  His gaze dropped to where the hard flesh strained against the fabric of Jiraiya's pants, it was not upsetting, a bit uncomfortable but he could accept his partner's covered erection against him.  "I should cook... something different.  It's time to start doing more challenging things."**

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I would like that very much Koishii."  His beloved was not talking as much about the challenge to try making something more difficult in the kitchen as much as his determination that now was the time to push further towards their goal of leaving his past behind and finding ways to go forward.

 

\----------------

 

The meal was exquisite, as usual, but neither man had much interest in the food.  The urge to touch each other was a much greater lure and after carrying their dishes back to the kitchen they went to the bedroom.

 

**Ibiki unfastened his shirt and slipped it off, but then paused after removing his shirt and met his beloved's eyes, "Please touch me, I want your touch."  He wanted so much more than his lover's touch, he wanted everything... all the things others could do without fear, to give and receive pleasure without having to fight the memories of his past.**

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, this was a good step, he was trying to accept being touched as he undressed.  He remembered how he'd once thought they were getting past this, he'd even removed his Koishii's clothes completely once... that was something they would get back and so much more.  The things they had made progress on before would bring less fear and he was sure they would be easier to 'get back'.

 

He watched his Koishii's face as Ibiki unfastened his pants, at the encouragement in his partner's eyes his hand lightly followed his lover's, feathering over his hips.  His hesitation was replaced by watchful caution as his hands slipped further back helping push his beloved's pants down. 

 

Ibiki's gaze was uneasy, but he reassured, "Don't stop, I want to feel your hands."

 

To Jiraiya's surprise his Koishii's hands dropped away allowing him to continue.  Jiraiya nodded in understanding, his hands slipped back further stroking lightly over his beloved's ass as his pants slipped down.   Although his lover's gaze remained highly anxious he didn't look any more distressed than before.  Jiraiya sank to his knees placing kisses down his pelvis, Ibiki's cock bobbed eagerly at the tease but his Koishii remained quiet.  Jiraiya's hands rested on his ass firmly but without pressure as his  mouth slowly dropped to his partner's erection, he teasingly licked the swollen flesh, but did not take it in his mouth.

 

His Koishii's breathing was rapid, but now it appeared it was more in arousal than distress.  Jiraiya's hands pressed firmly against his ass as his mouth covered Ibiki's engorged length. 

 

**Ibiki gave a muted groan of pleasure at the feel of his lover's mouth on the throbbing flesh, although his heart pounded at the thought he encouraged, "More... please Koishii."**

 

Jiraiya pushed aside his caution, he could not hesitate of they were going to get past all the limits Ibiki now had.  He skillfully sucked and drew, teasing his lover's cock as his fingers traced the part of his beloved's ass, not pressing between only firmly stroking down it as he worked his lover's arousal in and out of his mouth. 

 

Ibiki was giving loud moans of delight as Jiraiya began taking it in his throat and he cupped his partner's hip encouraging him to thrust.  An offer the fevered man could not resist, his finger slipped between his partner's cheeks to brush over his tender rim as his Koishii gave cries of rapture at the feel of his cock sinking into the tight heat of his lover's throat and the tease of his sensitive entrance.

 

Jiraiya rested his finger against his lover's rim sending a strong chakra pulse over the area as Ibiki gave loud ecstatic cries and came.  Jiraiya continued teasing him until he was completely spent and just shivered in reaction to his bodies urge to continue.  Then slipped his finger out from between the firm cheeks, released his sated flesh and slipped up to cradle his beloved to him placing light kisses over his neck and shoulders.   

 

**After a moment Ibiki kissed him, "I want to use this time to push hard and to move past some of my limits while Kakashi is gone."  He was so very grateful for his lover, no one else could have made these things enjoyable even through the fear, or understood how to touch him to move past the obstacles.  Jiraiya was extraordinary, no other could ever have brought him this far towards a 'normal' life.**

 

Jiraiya nodded and stroked his cheek, then massaged down his back, not avoiding or hesitating to touch him.  As he caressed his lover, he cupped his ass gently before slipping around to rest on his hips.  But as 'bold' as his touch was he tenderly murmured in his ear, "Remember, I _want_ you to tell me stop or move away if anything I do causes too great of  distress." 

 

Ibiki agreed, "I will Koishii, I promise."

 

Although not a sexual trigger the place Jiraiya planned to touch next would be distressing so his caresses lightly teased as a distraction.  He slipped down once more, his tongue tracing the tender scars on his beloved's pelvis and getting a soft hiss of pleasure.  His hands slipped around to rest firmly on his lover's ass and he felt his muscles flex as he resisted moving away, this was not as 'bad' as it would get and Jiraiya knew he may not be able to bear it and move away.

 

Jiraiya's hands slid over the firm cheeks down his thighs to lightly brush the back of Ibiki's knees, the area was very tender and his muscles jumped hard.  His beloved's gaze was anxious as he looked down, but he did not move away.

 

"Can I kiss them Koishii?"  Jiraiya asked gently, this was not something he could just boldly do without asking.  Ibiki hesitated, but then nodded.  Jiraiya slipped around to behind him, "So incredible." 

 

Ibiki flinched as Jiraiya placed a kiss on the sensitive area at the back of both knees and lovingly crooned, "My exceptional Koishii I love you so much."  His hands caressed his lover's thighs and he placed soft kisses over them.  Slowly he moved down to place another tender kiss on the back of one knee then the other, although Ibiki's muscles remained tensed he did not flinch.

 

That was enough, the area was more than just a place that brought anxiety, it was over sensitive and couldn't bear too great of stimulation, not yet.  Jiraiya stroked his hands up his partner's thighs then boldly followed the strokes with kisses as he rose.  Ibiki's muscles clenched as he placed light kisses up over the cheeks of his ass, but as Jiraiya stood and slipped around to stand before his Koishii, his gaze was not greatly distressed only very uncertain.

 

Jiraiya nuzzled and kissed his throat gently and his beloved gave a soft groan of pleasure as his fingers traced the muscular expanse of Ibiki's stomach  down to his pelvis.  Jiraiya was very excited by the feel of his lover's body and purred, "So sexy." 

 

Ibiki cupped his head kissing him passionately, Jiraiya continued to tempt him with light brushes of his fingers over his pelvis and cock.  When his hand enclosed his Koishii's now prominent arousal and stroked, Ibiki broke their kiss and moaned, "I need you!"

 

**Jiraiya released his aching length and turned, he molded himself to him, offering the astounding pleasure of his body.  Ibiki rocked his hips thrusting between the firm cheeks, into the welcoming grasp of his lover's body as his partner cried out in delight and rising desire.**

**Ibiki groaned at the feel of his throbbing cock sinking into the nirvana of his lover and his lust swiftly grew.  Jiraiya's pleading  cries were met eagerly as he thrust rapidly into the tight grasp feeling the quiver of his beloved at the pleasure.**

**His Koishii's body tightened and Ibiki moaned feverishly, his thrusts growing uneven as he tried to resist cumming.  Then Jiraiya's hips shifted slightly and he wailed in rapture pressing back into the excited drum of Ibiki's cock and trembling at the strength of his orgasm.  Ibiki cried out, sinking deep and holding his lover close as he came.**

**The two men remained trying to catch their breath for a moment, then Ibiki withdrew and placed tender kisses over his beloved's neck and upper back, "You are extraordinary, my Koishii, I am so very blessed I have your love."**

Jiraiya smiled and turned to hug him.  "I feel the same way." 

 

They remained embracing each other a few more minutes then walked in to shower.  He was surprised and proud as Ibiki quietly asked, "I want you to wash me."

 

Jiraiya lovingly caressed his cheek, he barely held back from urging his beloved to tell him to stop if it was too upsetting.  It was important he stop doing that, he had to trust his Koishii would.  Jiraiya soaped a cloth and lightly stroked over his lover's chest. 

 

**Ibiki gave a soft moan as the stroke of the cloth moved down his stomach.  Jiraiya set the cloth aside and soaped his hands, cupping his balls and the slick hand slipped over them gently as Ibiki groaned, his body struggling to grow aroused again... and when his beloved's hand slipped down his cock and his thumb circled the head, the stimulation was too exquisite to resist. Ibiki rocked his hips slowly thrusting into the astounding pleasure.  "Ahh Koishii... it feels so good!"**

 

Jiraiya watched his face lovingly as his other hand slipped around to stroke over his beloved's ass.  All this was difficult after trying for so long to avoid distressing him, and to ignore the fact it may upset his lover was impossible, but he could do this for him.

 

**His Koishii's touch felt too fantastic to become distressed by the firm stroke of his other hand on his ass.  His hand enclosed Jiraiya's eagerly reawaking erection, drawing on it and hearing his lover's moans join his own.**

**They thrust into the grasp of their partner with rapidly escalating desire until Jiraiya bucked as he came, the ecstasy on his face was the final strain on Ibiki's resistance and quickly brought his orgasm.**

**The warm water of the shower rained down on them washing away their cum, Jiraiya smiled and teased, "I'm afraid me washing you did not get you very clean."**

**Ibiki cupped his head drawing him into a passionate kiss, when he drew back he stroked his lover's cheek, "Perfect.  You are incredible, my Koishii."**

**Jiraiya looked surprised by his use of the 'forbidden' word, this too he wished to leave in the past, he would not let this control him any longer.  There should be no forbidden words between them, Jiraiya gave him a very loving kiss and replied, "You are so strong Koishii, so extraordinary... my exceptional  lover."**

**The two men washed themselves, dried and walked out to the bedroom.  Ibiki caught his beloved's hand and drew him down on his bed beside him as he lay down.  "I love holding you."**

 

Jiraiya smiled, there could be no sweeter dream than to be loved by both Ibiki and Kakashi.  As his Koishii grew tired Jiraiya started to rise and his beloved softly begged, "Please Jiraiya... Kakashi and I do not want you sleeping on the floor."  He waved towards Kakashi's bed, "He would want you to sleep there... I want you near.  I need to hear you."

 

"I can't..."  Jiraiya's reluctance faded at the look in his Koishii's eyes.  His beloved needed him near, especially now that they were working so hard at breaking him free of the abuse in his past, and it was very distressing for his partner to know he was sleeping on the floor... while Kakashi was gone he'd sleep in his Myobu's bed.

 

**Ibiki was very relieved when Jiraiya nodded.   Although he dreamt that night it was not as bad as some nights were and after waking himself he quickly fell asleep once more.**

\---------------

 

In the morning Jiraiya rose and made their coffee, the routine did not feel right without Kakashi, but he would not be gone long.  They drank their coffee in peaceful quiet and when it was time for him to leave, Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "I will see you tonight my Koishii."

 

Jiraiya smiled and nodded, after his lover left he sat down to resume writing.

 

=============================

 

When Ibiki came home that night their evening meal went about the same as the night before, although the food was excellent their thoughts were on touching each other and after cleaning up they walked into the bedroom. 

**Ibiki watched his lover strip and then move closer to him as he undressed.  The light feather of Jiraiya's fingers over his skin as he undressed was becoming less distressing and brought moments of pleasure as well as a hint of anxiety.**

**Once they stood bare Jiraiya purred softly, "I want to kiss your body Koishii."  Although there was desire in his partner's voice he did not attempt to do it and his eyes seriously studied him, he was giving him a chance to accept or deny his 'intent'.  Ibiki nodded, although the idea of his lover kissing the back of his knees again brought a great deal of anxiety.**  

 

Jiraiya had not try to undress him this time, what he was going to attempt would be stressful enough without distressing his lover beforehand.  "Please lay down Koishii."  Ibiki nodded, but his gaze was withdrawn.  Jiraiya drew him close before he could lay down and placed kisses over his face, "I will never hurt you Koishii, you will always be able to say stop and I immediately will." 

 

Ibiki cradled his cheek his eyes now full of deep love, "I know, thank you." 

 

**He didn't want Jiraiya to let him emotionally withdraw any more than he wanted him to accept him physically withdrawing while removing his clothes, he could do this... this was one more step toward the future he wished to have, one free of fear.**

**Ibiki brushed a tender kiss over his beloved's lips and stepped back, then lay on the bed.  Jiraiya slipped up over him.  Kissing his throat then slowly down his chest, the enthralling feel of his hands caressing the tingling flesh each time his lover's mouth moved lower soon had him panting out soft cries of pleasure, which grew into louder moans as his partner's talented mouth moved down to the sensitive skin of his pelvis... but he did not take him in his mouth.**

**His lover's fingers feathered over the scarred expanse, as his body slipped down to lay between Ibiki's spread legs.  The feel of his partner's body between his legs brought both a rush of excitement and a surge of fear.  Although he was aroused at his lover's mouth so near his cock, he was also frightened by the vulnerability of the position of laying and being unable to close his legs.**

 

Jiraiya knew his lover enjoyed his ass being teased, few people didn't, but was held back from it unless teased to urgent hunger... he shouldn't need to just watch and long for it, this would be something they would free him to do.  He knew he was distressing his beloved, but continued to remind himself this was what his strong Koishii wanted, his brave lover wanted to push through and be free of his fears.   He felt Ibiki flinch and although his body tensed the muscles loosened slightly after a moment.  Jiraiya teased the tender inner thigh of his beloved, gently sucking and tracing the scarred expanse... he could not allow himself to think on the source of the scars or he'd never be able to move forward, he would never be able to bear his partner's fear.

 

Ibiki drew a deep ragged breath and released it in a low moan, it gave Jiraiya the strength to go further. 

 

Gently he slipped his hands beneath his lover's ass, he felt his Koishii's muscles clench as he lifted his beloved's ass slightly and his tongue stroked over his balls.

 

Although Jiraiya was sure it was very pleasurable Ibiki's muscles tightened further  and he was quiet.  This would take all the 'skills' he'd acquired over the years but he would bring his lover strong pleasure, they would begin to replace the memories of pain and humiliation with ones of rapture.  He would not 'offer' him the chance to say stop, he had to trust he would if it became too much.

 

His Koishii's body was very aroused, his cock turgid with need and yet he did not make a sound.  His body may be highly aroused but his mind was not and it dwelled in the past... that was not something that was good for him and would only serve to cause greater anxiety... he needed to tease him until his mind could dwell on nothing but the strength of his desire.

 

Jiraiya dipped his mouth  to suck lightly at his balls, then enclosed and  hummed around them as he took first one than the other in his mouth, and heard his partner's hiss of pleasure and a soft moan.  Jiraiya continued as his beloved gave a louder moans and he rapidly had him panting and giving cries of delight once more... then slipped a hand out from beneath his lover and enclosed his engorged length stroking it slowly as his hand circled the head of Ibiki's cock, every draw enflaming his partner's urgent need.  He heard Ibiki's breathing quicken in ecstasy  and when his Koishii gave a fevered moan he pushed that last step.  

 

Flicking his tongue over the tender entrance to his lover's body as his thumb circled the swollen head of his cock with a soft hum of chakra.  The low pulse grew stronger as Jiraiya's tongue pushed gently at his entrance and the tease was the distraction needed, his tongue darted in and Ibiki cried out loudly in rapture his cock bucking into the stimulation of his hand as he came.

 

Jiraiya slipped his other hand out from beneath his lover, drew back slightly and lifted his head to blow softly over the damp flesh.  Ibiki gasped and his hips bucked again as he fully sated his need.  Although Jiraiya wished to slip up and hold him,  he caressed his beloved's muscular stomach as he slipped up slightly to lick the cum from it, he could not let him think on what he'd done... not yet.  He tempted him, kissing the scars on his pelvis down to his cock and his hand slipped up his lover's body to tease his nipple with feathers of chakra.

 

Jiraiya's tongue stroked softly over the head of his partner's cock as Ibiki hardened, then took the swollen length into his mouth bobbing slowly on it.  When he'd reduced his Koishii to loud hungry moans he left the area, slipping up to cover his beloved, his legs straddled his lover's body.  The offer of his body was eagerly accepted and Ibiki embraced him, kneading his ass as he thrust into the tight heat.  Jiraiya felt both relief and delight as his lover gave a rapturous moan and gasped, "Koishii, you feel so good!" 

 

Jiraiya gave loud cries of pleasure at the coveted feel of his beloved inside him, rocking into his lover's thrusts in urgent passion, his body tightening around his wonderful swollen length but resisting his desire to cum until Ibiki was giving fevered moans.  Then he tilted his hips and braced down as his partner bucked rapidly into his pleasure spot, giving loud cries of rapture at the powerful draw of Jiraiya's muscles as he came. 

 

Jiraiya remained clenched around him until they lay exhausted and completely spent on the bed.  Then brushed his lips over Ibiki's and lifted off him to lay beside him and stroke his chest.  He waited, his beloved was thinking about what they had done, he did not seem distressed just deep in thought. 

 

**He looked in Jiraiya's eyes and said seriously, "You are amazing."  His extraordinary Koishii had pushed at many of his restrictions, although he felt a great deal of uncertainty, he'd only experienced brief periods of fear and with it extreme pleasure.**

**He trusted him and he wanted to have Jiraiya continue to push at his boundaries... the pleasure of those touches... incredible!   He wanted that, to be free to give and receive the intense pleasure without reservation.**

**Jiraiya's gaze was full of deep love, "I love you Koishii, always and forever... I will do anything for you."**

**"I know, I want this..." Ibiki reassured, "What you are doing will give me back some of the freedom I had lost, thank you Koishii."  He knew he was causing his beloved distress, asking these things of him, wanting him to do things that were very upsetting but he wanted very much to make progress... to gain some small bit of freedom in these five days they had before his Saiai returned.**

==================================

**Ibiki had decided something while at work, when his beloved came to walk with him back to the house he'd cemented his determination.  He wanted to be able to do this freely and it was something he would win back.**

**After their meal Ibiki stated, "Koishii, I want to kiss your body."  As they undressed he felt more than a bit uneasy about it, but reminded himself this was something he'd done before, something he'd enjoyed and something that had brought his extraordinary partner a great deal of pleasure. But this time he wanted to try without covering his lover's cock, wanted to touch it and hear his beloved's cries of delight at his touch.**

**Jiraiya nodded, his understanding gaze full of love and acceptance.**

 

Jiraiya did not try to encourage him to move away if distressed, he knew that his Koishii wanted this, he wanted to get past these things that were stopping him from freely enjoying their touch and touching them.

 

Jiraiya lay on the bed his arms relaxed at his sides as Ibiki lay beside him and kissed his throat, his beloved's hand caressed his chest lightly.

 

He tried not to become too excited, but he knew it was not likely he'd be very successful and by the time Ibiki reached his pelvis he'd be extremely aroused... he was sure his lover knew that and possibly even wished it.

 

Jiraiya's muscles flexed as he gave soft moans, the feel of his lover's mouth moving down to his chest was exquisite!  His Koishii's mouth covered his nipple sucking and flicking it with his tongue, Jiraiya's eyes widened and he gasped, his stomach muscles jumping as he resisted bucking.

 

**Jiraiya's deep moan of desire brought him pleasure and his mouth moved to tease the other as his finger circled the first... his Koishii's own moves were now mimicked to tempt him.  Ibiki continued teasing the tender peaks as his fingers feathered over his lover's pelvis.  He could feel his beloved's muscles jumping as he resisted writhing, his ecstatic moans growing fevered.  Ibiki continued down his stomach hearing his whimpers and still finding pleasure in them even as his heart started to drum at the knowledge of his mouth nearing his lover's rigid length.**

**Ibiki drew back slightly and forced himself to look at his partner's erection, his finger traced the sensitive flesh and Jiraiya moaned urgently.**

**He couldn't do it yet, but one day he wished to have Jiraiya touching him as he kissed his pelvis... and, if he could, his cock... but not this time.  "Talk to me Koishii... please, I wish to hear you."  He wanted this to be like... like it was normal and not something that should be distressing... he wanted to enjoy it and hear his partner's pleasure, just like any other lover would.**

 

Jiraiya thought about giving reassurances, but he had the impression his beloved wanted the reactions he'd give to any other lover touching him intimately... that was a bit harder.  To say Ibiki's mouth felt 'perfect' would cause an immediate negative reaction, but what else had his abusers said?  

 

He tempered his words with strong caution.  "The feel of you touching me is fantastic!  I love everything you do..."  his words ended in a whimper as Ibiki dipped his head  and he felt the light brush of his lip's on the aching flesh of his shaft.  Speaking now would not be a good idea, his mind numbed with urgent hunger it was likely he'd say something wrong.

 

Ibiki lifted his head, "Please Koishii... don't hold back, I want this."

 

Jiraiya whimpered  louder, "Your lips are so soft Koishii!  They feel so good!" 

 

**Ibiki's head dipped to place more light kisses over the turgid length, slowly up the expanse to the head.  He paused and his heart hammered in fear, he was not sure he could do it.  The memories... no, this wasn't them, he needed to remember this was the man he loved, the one he trusted... his Koishii would never hurt him.  His lips barely touched the flushed head and he fought his desire to draw back.**

"Koishii... I love you so much!  My body aches for your touch!"  Jiraiya was trembling hard, giving needy little cries between words as his lover's lips pressed more firmly to the throbbing flesh. 

Jiraiya was trying very hard to focus on his words, on anything but the powerful lust pounding through him and he gasped out,  "Every touch you give is so incredible!"

Ibiki's lips pressed firmly to the top of the head and Jiraiya gave a pleading cry at the depth of his urgent need, his body wanting to bow up into the temptation of his lover's mouth.

 

**Ibiki knew his Koishii was desperate to cum, but he also was certain his beloved would not, no matter how great his need he would resist it.  Ibiki lifted his head and at the desperate hunger in his lover's eyes, he softly asked.  "Can you bear just a bit more?"  He wanted to go as far as he could before stopping.**

**Jiraiya was panting, the hard shivers he gave proof this was straining even his strong resistance.  "I will do anything for you Koishii!"**

**Ibiki dipped his head and lightly licked the engorged head.  Jiraiya gave a sob, tears in his eyes...**

**Ibiki knew he was being selfish, his Koishii needed release now, he'd teased him too much.  He drew back from his lover's turgid cock and slipped up over him.  Jiraiya immediately wrapped his legs around his waist as he thrust into the desperately needy man and his beloved cried out loudly in rapture.  As he started fucking him, his lover came but pleaded, "More!"**

**Ibiki continued fucking him rapidly and felt Jiraiya's body rocking to meet his feverishly, then the tilt of his lover's hips brought him to another strong orgasm.  Ibiki resisted the growing urge to cum and thrust several more times into his pleasure spot as his beloved cried out in ecstasy and writhed, then gave in to his own need sinking in deep and letting the rapid powerful draw of his lover's muscles to sate him completely.**

**Ibiki placed soft kisses over his beloved's flushed cheeks, he'd teased him far too long.  "I'm sorry Koishii... I should not have..."**

 

Jiraiya cupped his head drawing him into a deep kiss, then released Ibiki from the kiss and he corrected, "I loved it Koishii." 

 

Ibiki gave him a gently disbelieving look and his fingers wiped at a damp stripe from one of his tears.  Jiraiya shook his head, "No amount of discomfort is too much to accept to get those tender kisses..." 

 

Jiraiya risked it although it could possibly upset him, "The feel of your lips on my cock was incredible, it is a truly wonderful gift of trust."  Ibiki did not look upset by his words. 

 

**He'd licked his beloved's cock, although frightening he could see wishing to try it again... perhaps eventually more.  "I want this and so much more Koishii... thank you."**

**Jiraiya smiled and gently teased, "It's me that should thank _you_ it felt outstanding!"  Then he sobered and added, "I will do anything for you Koishii."**

**Ibiki stroked his cheek softly, "You have proven that so many times... I want to earn your trust, to have you believe me when I say I will never let you go again.  Kakashi feels the same way, we don't ever wish to lose you."**

 

Jiraiya smiled and gave him a tender kiss, it was not possible for them to love him forever but it was so wonderful to know that was the way they felt now and that memory would be one to help him through the painful days and nights that would come.

 

**Ibiki could see the disbelief in his beloved's eyes, he would try to show him how greatly he loved him for the rest of their lives... if Jiraiya tried to leave Ibiki knew he would not be the only one devoting his life to finding him.  It was not difficult to see how deeply Kakashi loved him as well.**

**He rose off his lover and drew him up, "Let's shower."  Jiraiya smiled and followed Ibiki into the bathroom.    When they walked into the shower Ibiki looked his beloved seriously in the eyes, "I want to wash you."**

**Jiraiya's gaze was loving and his fingers stroked Ibiki's neck, "I would love that Koishii."**

 

Jiraiya watched his beloved wet and lather the cloth then groaned in delight as Ibiki rubbed the soft cloth over his torso, gradually reaching his pelvis.  Then his Koishii set the cloth aside and Jiraiya was stunned as his lover lathered his hands, he'd not thought he'd try touching him further!

 

Ibiki's eyes remained meeting his lover's as his slick hand stroked over Jiraiya's pelvis.   As his lover's hand slid down to cup his balls, Jiraiya gasped and gave a soft moan, his Koishii was going to arouse him if he continued!

 

**Ibiki was aware of how he was exciting Jiraiya, and the growing need on his beloved's face was getting a 'eager' response from his own body.  He slowly slipped a soapy hand up his lover's rapidly swelling flesh and Jiraiya cried out, his cock rigid once more.  Ibiki's hands slipped around to his lover's ass cupping him close and looking in his passionate gaze as he rocked his hips rubbing his cock against Jiraiya's, the astounding sensation of his erection against his lover's teased him greatly and Ibiki urged, "Koishii  I need to feel you please."**

 

Jiraiya rocked his hips, at first slowly, then grew faster as he saw the ecstasy on his partner's face and his own desire soared.  He boldly cupped Ibiki's head kissing him deeply as they thrust against each other, their soapy lengths sliding freely between their bodies and bringing such deep pleasure that Jiraiya soon had to break their kiss to cry out... and his hands slipped down to rest on the cheeks of his beloved's ass. 

 

**Their fevered thrusts quickly brought their orgasms and Ibiki bucked against Jiraiya as he came, then held his lover pressed against him as his beloved climaxed, his cock jumping between their bodies.**

**Ibiki was surprised to discover he felt no distress at this moment, even with Jiraiya's hands resting on  his ass... his partner's hands began to drop away and Ibiki asked, "Please, leave your hands there a bit longer."**

**Jiraiya gave him a kiss, "Yes my Koishii."**

**Ibiki cautiously asked, "Stroke me... my ass."**

**Jiraiya's gaze held respect and adoration as he did as asked.**

 

His hands lightly caressed his beloved's firm cheeks, he was so proud of his brave lover, Ibiki's eyes did not look distressed only uncertain,  "So strong my incredible Koishii." 

 

After another few minutes Ibiki said, "I suppose we should actually wash up." and backed away.  Jiraiya was delighted as his lover teased, "My washing you got you more dirty than clean."

 

Jiraiya laughed, "It is a 'dirty' I greatly enjoyed!"

 

"I'm glad." Ibiki cupped his cheek and brushed a tender kiss over his lips, "Lets finish and dry, I need to hold you my precious Koishii."

 

Jiraiya nodded. 

 

Soon the two men were laying lovingly embracing each other in Ibiki's bed.  When they grew tired Jiraiya slipped into Kakashi's bed, the sound of each others peaceful breathing soothed them and they slept.

 

===============================

 

**This was the last night before his Saiai returned, he wanted to push hard... and fight for the freedom he desired.  When Kakashi returned he dreamt of freely touching him... it was a bit too high of an expectation for this time but he still wished it was possible.**

 

Jiraiya could see the determination in his Koishii's eyes, he was uncertain this rapid push to move past his limits was good for his lover, but he would do it for his beloved and they would deal with any repercussions.

 

Jiraiya cupped his beloved tenderly to him, "I will not fuck you... can you believe that?  Can you trust me?" 

 

Ibiki looked in his lover's eyes he hid none of the anxiety he felt, but answered, "I want this... even if it causes fear, I trust you." 

 

Jiraiya nuzzled him his Koishii was afraid, but he truly did wish for him to keep working at bringing down his barriers and giving him freedom to experience more.

 

Jiraiya choose standing it gave them both more control, his beloved could move away, or he could if he felt... yes he still feared Ibiki would try to push past his fears much too hard and try to do something he was not ready for, something it was possible he'd never be ready for. 

 

They were face to face, Jiraiya caressed his lover's body gently, placing loving kisses over his beloved's shoulders and Ibiki gave a soft moan of pleasure.  Jiraiya's hand slipped down his back to above the cheeks of his ass and he tightened his grasp on him. Now tightly holding Ibiki pressed to him, his hand resting on his ass and his erection pressing firmly against him in front. 

 

His Koishii would need to genuinely try to move away from the tight hold in order to back away and Jiraiya waited to see if it panicked him.  Although his partner's muscles tensed and flexed, they then relaxed, it didn't panic him and Jiraiya's grasp lightened once more to one Ibiki could easily back away from.

 

**Ibiki had felt Jiraiya's grasp on him tighten, he was being restrained... the man's hard cock pressed to him, rigid with his desire to thrust into him.  No, he was being embraced, there was nothing to fear from his gentle beloved.  The flash of fear subsided and a moment later Jiraiya's grasp loosened once more.**

**Jiraiya nuzzled his neck, "My strong brave Koishii... so exceptional."  His mouth teased Ibiki's throat and his need slowly grew.  Then his lover drew back slightly and turned him in his arms, Ibiki's heart hammered as Jiraiya rocked his hips and flinched at the feel of his partner's erection rubbing  against the cheek of his ass.**

 

Jiraiya waited, if he could trust then they'd move forward if he could not relax and trust that he wouldn't fuck him, it had to stop here.  Ibiki was aroused, but not so greatly that he was not fully aware of what was being done.

 

**Ibiki drew a deep breath, Jiraiya would not fuck him, no matter what it seemed like he wouldn't fuck him... he would give him pleasure if he could trust in him.  He relaxed his muscles and felt the firmer rub of his lover's big cock thrusting against the cheek of his ass.**

**Jiraiya's hand rested on Ibiki's hip, he gently pushed, encouraging him to shift over.  Ibiki was fully aware that if he shifted over that slight bit, the firm insistent rub of his lover's cock would not be on the cheek but along the part.**

**Ibiki  trembled, he wasn't sure he could make himself move, in his heart he trusted Jiraiya would not fuck him but his memories...  It took several minutes for him to hesitantly shift over to where the rub of his Koishii's erection would now be along the part, but now it was barely a brush, not the firm rub it had been on his ass cheek.**

 

Jiraiya was so proud of his strong beloved, that was a very huge and frightening step, one he doubted any other who'd been abused so greatly as his Koishii could have made. 

 

Jiraiya rained loving kisses over Ibiki's neck. "So brave, so strong, my wonderful Koishii so extraordinary..." 

 

His hand enclosed Ibiki's semi flaccid length stroking and teasing him until he was rigid with need and giving little pleading moans. 

 

**His lover's cock still brushed feather light against his ass, slowly rocking, and as Ibiki began fucking Jiraiya's hand the soft rub grew faster, but no firmer.**

**He'd touched Jiraiya's cock before, felt the silken skin of the head... licked the sensitive flesh  the tease of the soft skin brushing against his ass tempted him to try harder and he pressed into it a bit, feeling the silken slide over his ass and thinking about the way it had felt thrusting between their bodies in the shower, the loud cries of rapture his thrusts had brought from them both and moaned at the memory.**

 

Jiraiya felt such profound love for his partner, then stunned awe as his beloved trusted and leaned more firmly into the rub of his erection.  Jiraiya's other hand caressed his Koishii's balls and he barely with held his groan as his lover unexpectedly lay back a slight bit further into the press of his cock thrusting against his ass.

 

**Ibiki was aware that he was teasing his lover but continued to hold the strong belief Jiraiya would not fuck him and he wanted to see how far he could go... and show him how much he could trust him.**

 

Jiraiya was a bit concerned that his Koishii maybe pushing himself too much and tempted him with light chakra strokes to remain forward.  To press back further would lessen that contact and yet his lover still pressed back firmly.  The thrusts of his cock against his beloved's ass now parted the firm cheeks, so they were cupping and stroking his throbbing length.  Jiraiya wanted to whimper, the tease was growing so strong but his conviction was unwavering he would not fuck him and he would not let his partner press down to take his cock inside. 

 

Ibiki was trembling hard, "Please..." 

 

Jiraiya was certain those shivers were more fear than pleasure... or perhaps all fear, Ibiki was not making [u]any[/u] sounds of passion.  Now his Koishii wished for him to push inside, that would not happen... he was about to deny him when Ibiki's next words stilled his protest, "Trust me Jiraiya." 

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his ear, "I do Koishii."  His beloved would not try to take him inside, he knew it would upset him greatly.  He needed to believe in Ibiki, trust him just as his Koishii was trusting him. 

 

He stopped trying to tempt his lover away and the chakra teases of his fingers brought a few very quiet groans of pleasure from his Koishii.   But Jiraiya couldn't help giving a soft whimper, the feel of his aching cock now thrusting between the firm globes had him shaking nearly as hard as his partner.

 

**Ibiki felt a powerful stab of fear as Jiraiya's engorged length rubbed firmly over his rim, he nearly moved away but then he heard his beloved's little whimper and realized how Jiraiya was shaking.  His lover was doing this for him... very likely he was hurting with the need to cum and definitely distressed by the way he was pressed back against his cock.  His precious Koishii was very upset, but continuing to do what he asked for.**

**Ibiki stroked his arms gently then moved away.  Looking back at his beloved he turned took his hand and drew him down on the bed on top of him, "I want you Jiraiya."**

**Jiraiya cried out, urgently pressing down onto his cock and fucking himself rapidly.  Arching to let Ibiki's rigid length hit his pleasure spot and then wailing as his orgasm seized him, his body contracting powerfully with every  jet of cum.  Ibiki cried out thrusting rapidly into the ecstasy and cumming but wrapped his hand around Jiraiya's cock stroking the shaft and circling the silky flesh of the head until his Koishii howled and came again.**

 

Ibiki released his sated flesh and Jiraiya lay down on top of him and lightly kissed his face.  "You never cease to surprise me with how amazing you are... how incredibly brave."  It had been a tremendous step to take!  He loved this extraordinary man so very much.

 

**Ibiki stroked his beloved's face, "I can only make these steps forward because of you, you are the amazing one, somehow you always know what to do.  I can trust you completely and take steps I never could do with anyone else."  Those words brought a surge of shame, he'd never even tried to do anything out of his comfort zone with his Saiai... he had to find ways to include him in this.**

**Jiraiya caressed his cheek then rose off of him and lay beside him, patiently watching as Ibiki thought about what they'd done.**

**That had brought a great deal more terror than pleasure, but it now brought a feeling of hope, at this moment he could almost believe that one day he would be able to touch and be touched freely by his lovers without fear... he wasn't sure if he could ever bear to be fucked, but neither Jiraiya or Kakashi expected or wanted that from him.**

 

======================

 

Jiraiya heard his Koishii's harsh gasp as he woke himself, there was no doubt it had been a very bad dream this time.  His beloved's face was flushed with sweat and he was breathing rapid, ragged breaths.  Jiraiya knew it was likely that the intensity of it was brought by what they'd done earlier. 

 

"I am here beside you... no one will ever hurt you again.  I will be here beside you always,  I will not let anyone harm you."  Sadly that was the truth, even after neither of them wanted him he would be unable to stay away from Ibiki and Kakashi, he would always be close.  He would never leave again, this time it was a promise to himself he would keep.  No matter how it hurt, staying was better than the never seeing them again.

 

Ibiki drew a deep breath it was slightly rough, "Jiraiya... I need to touch you." 

 

Jiraiya was shocked, but moved over to him, his lover wished to touch him... after what was clearly a very bad nightmare.  He lay on the bed, a strip of space between them so he did not touch his Koishii, but Ibiki slipped over to rest against him.

 

**The warm body pressed to his own, it was calming, but the memories of his captors... the pain... This wasn't them, no part of his beloved was the same as them.  He could trust him, even when vulnerable his lover would be there guarding him.**

 

Jiraiya barely held back a gasp as he felt Ibiki's fingers lightly trace his cock... there was no way he could not respond physically, what was his beloved thinking?  Jiraiya lay still, he would not stop him, whatever he wished to try he would not interfere.

 

**Ibiki's hand wrapped around his lover's rapidly swelling cock, he didn't want the past to keep him away from the present, this... His beloved's body was not theirs. "Koishii, touch me."  Jiraiya shifted to on his side and Ibiki's hand enclosed his erection firmer, listening to the quiet moans his Koishii gave as he began to stroke his cock.**

**As Jiraiya's fingers lightly traced his cock, he rapidly hardened.  It felt so good, the pleasure sweeping away the remnants of his nightmare and fueled his conviction.  "I want so much more... and I will get it.  I won't let them stop me, they have controlled me too long, I will be free."**

**The two men continued slowly stroking teasing each other until their need was too strong, then Ibiki asked, "I want to feel you."**

 

Jiraiya slipped up to on top of his lover, he remained laying as he pushed down and took his partner's cock in his body.  Jiraiya rocked against him, his erection thrusting against his Koishii's taut stomach as he worked his lover's engorged flesh in and out of his body and groaned at the exceptional pleasure. 

 

"Hold me."  Jiraiya urged, even knowing it could distress his beloved, it was time to stop hesitating to ask for what he desired.

 

**Ibiki wrapped his arms around Jiraiya holding him close and felt him place kisses over his chest between ecstatic moans, the feel of his lover thrusting against him was similar to what they'd done while in the shower... and many times in their past.  The feel of his Koishii brought no anxiety and his beloved's cries were rapturous at the dual stimulation.**

  

Jiraiya's cock thrust between their bodies and rubbed against Ibiki's taut stomach with every rock of his hips... it felt so exquisite and he cried out in delight at every firm buck his Koishii gave into his body.  It did not take long for either of them to reach their climax.

 

**Ibiki could feel his partner's cum on his stomach and thought about the feel of his lover's cock rubbing against him.  "Perfect."**

**Jiraiya kissed him, "That's how I feel too Koishii."  He rose off Ibiki and they quickly washed, then both got a bit more sleep before morning came.**

 

====================

 

_Kakashi placed the report in the basket and waited.  Iruka scanned it and then laughed, "I think you deserve an extra day off for just putting up with those kids for five days!  You did a wonderful job, enjoy your days off."_

_Kakashi nodded, he studied Iruka a moment... he was always so friendly.  What would it be like to have  others like you... talk and joke with you?  It was likely he'd never know._

_"Thank you... I will."  Kakashi replied, then turned and left, he could not wait to see his lovers.  He debated going to see Ibiki but concluded it would be a very 'distracting' visit, he knew it was likely his lover missed him physically just as much as he'd missed Ibiki and Jiraiya's touch.  It would be a very strong tease of them both and it was only a brief time before he and Jiraiya would come to walk with him home from work._

 

\------------------

 

Jiraiya looked up from his writing as Kakashi walked in and, as he walked over, he saw his lover harden eager for his touch.

 

He was very glad to give his sexy Myobu those touches, he embraced his beloved and cupped his face kissing him hungrily and feeling his partner quiver in excitement.

 

_Every night of the days he'd been gone he'd thought of feeling his lovers in him, hearing their cries of rapture, but Jiraiya couldn't fuck him... He did not hear the same urgent cries of need from Jiraiya as Ibiki did.  He was not jealous, but he desired that too, to know Jiraiya was receiving strong pleasure from him... For his lover not to always have to be careful and be free to fuck him._

 

When Jiraiya drew back from their kiss Kakashi's lips were parted in a excited pant and his eyes held the same strong longing as he'd had seen in them before his Myobu left on his mission. 

 

_"You've never... can you cover me like Ibiki does?  I want to feel you on top of me."  Kakashi asked as his fingers slipped down to stroke over his lover's erection._

_Jiraiya looked very concerned, "I don't want to hurt you."_

_Kakashi snuggled against him, "You won't, you're very gentle."_

_"Can you wait Myobu?  I will need to prepare you well..."  Jiraiya asked, his fingers lovingly stroking his cheek._

_Kakashi nodded, he was already becoming excited by the thought of feeling Jiraiya on top of him... it gave him a frightening thrill to know his lover's large cock would soon rest deep inside him._

 

Jiraiya placed kissed over his throat as his skilled fingers easily bared his beloved's fantastic body.  Then drew back and brought him into the bedroom laying him down on the bed and stripping he slipped up to lay beside him.  Slowly nuzzling his throat as his fingers teased Kakashi's nipples his sensual partner's cries of ecstasy were a seduction stronger than any he'd ever attempted to resist, but he was determined he would resist, he would not fuck his slight lover.

 

"Mmm.." Jiraiya purred his soft nuzzle turned to light kisses that gradually became more passionate as he moved up the sensitive expanse of his neck toward his ear and his hands stroked down to his lover's pelvis.  He continued tempting needy cries from his Myobu brushing his fingers teasingly around the tender skin but not touching his cock and leaving him trembling beneath his hands and his mouth as he delighted in finding all the passion hidden in his beloved's beautiful body and enflaming it.

 

His teasing kisses ended before reaching his beloved's ear earning a soft groan from his partner and he kissed his way down his lover's body, then slipped between his legs.   

 

_Kakashi was ecstatic at the feel of his lover between his legs, soon his partner would cover him, his cock sinking into him... he shivered in anticipation, if felt like he'd wanted this for so very long!_

 

Jiraiya's hands urged him to lift his hips slightly, gently he slipped his hands beneath his lovers ass, tilting it so it bared the tempting entrance.  Jiraiya smiled and dipped his head to give Kakashi's tender rim a soft lick, and his beloved cried out, arching and pressing to his mouth.

 

He'd teased him enough and now drew lube, slipping a finger in and waiting to see how his lover's body reacted to the sudden 'invasion'... the answer was enthusiastically, flexing around his finger then loosening for more.  His Myobu was learning to relax his muscles, Jiraiya steadily fucked his fevered lover's ass with a finger, then pressed slowly to sink another finger into the heated grasp.  Jiraiya waited for the strong flex of his muscles around the thicker width and was not surprised as his partner rocked into the feel of his fingers. 

 

Jiraiya kissed up his stomach to his lips as he slipped his fingers out and drew more lube, rubbing around the sensitive rim of his lover's ass he pressed three fingers against the tight entrance then continued circling and teasing.  He could feel the passage softening to accept his fingers and by the third time he pressed, the three fingers entered the seduction of his partner's body.

 

By the time he felt Kakashi was ready he was doubting the wisdom of doing it once more, his enticing Myobu  was extremely aroused and his cries tempted him greatly, he would have to be very careful.  Jiraiya drew more lube coating his cock well and rubbing more over his beloved's entrance.

 

_Jiraiya slipped his fingers out and Kakashi felt the nudge of his lover's cock, the smooth slick head rocked against the sensitive area teasing him and Kakashi was nearly at the point of pleading when he felt the gradual press... it felt very large!  He had not changed his mind, he trusted Jiraiya completely and wanted this very much.  The stretch of his body was exciting and as the head entered the small flash of pain was ignored as he fought his desire to brace down on the hard length, it would upset his gentle lover._

 

The slow slide of his erection into the tight grasp of Kakashi's body was extraordinary bliss,  his lover's shivers of pleasure and lusty mews greatly enflamed his powerful need.  Now seated deep within the heavenly embrace he resisted thrusting, circling his hips carefully and hearing the ecstatic cries of his beloved.

 

_Kakashi was breathless the powerful waves of pleasure were so strong!  Jiraiya was an outstanding, skilled and caring lover, the reverent touches and the passionate kisses as his partner's hips circled slowly...  The immense organ filled him, stroking the inside of his body and  he wanted more!  He was extremely excited and clutched the cheeks of Jiraiya's ass urging him deeper, harder, feeling the powerful ripple of his muscles, the tense of his lover’s ass as he gently rotated his hips._

 

Jiraiya trembled at the wanton moans and the powerful desire that surged in him at the eager grasp of his Myobu's body, but he would not give in and do anything that would hurt him.  His lover was loose enough now and Jiraiya rose to his knees tilting his beloved's body up slightly and his hand wrapped around Kakashi's cock teasing it until his partner was giving urgent cries of need.  Then he feathered a soft chakra stroke around the tightly filled entrance to his lover's body and circled his fist around his cock as he stroked.  Kakashi howled, his body clenching tighter as he came and Jiraiya groaned at the temptation. 

 

After his orgasm ended his beautiful lover's eyes still held a longing that was more than sexual and he asked, "Please cover me." 

 

Kakashi was sated,  it was clear he wanted something but Jiraiya was uncertain what it was.  He nodded and as he lay down upon his smaller lover he carefully pushed his engorged cock in to rest fully sheathed in the glorious rapture of his beloved's body once more.  Kakashi wrapped his legs around his waist, his hips tilted up as he tightened his legs, sinking Jiraiya's aching flesh a bit deeper, Jiraiya gave a low moan at the tease and placed tender kisses over his cheeks.

 

Kakashi gave a soft, "Mmm..."  of pleasure and closed his eyes, after a moment they opened, "When will you be able to fuck me?"

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "Myobu... I don't think it's possible..."  His words died as he saw sorrow in his lover's eyes.  Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "Why is this important to you?"

 

"You cannot react freely with me... you always deny yourself pleasure and give me pleasure... I don't want you to have to be careful, I want to see you crying out in rapture like you do with Ibiki."  Kakashi quietly replied.

 

"Hmm..." Jiraiya kissed him softly.  His truly fucking his slight lover was not something he would do but...

 

Jiraiya tenderly stroked over his slender body as he withdrew, "You are so incredible."  He lightly massaged him, trying to relax his muscles so it would not hurt... at least not more than a flash, as he withdrew.   The slow slide of his cock and the gentle caresses excited the younger man, but even if he wished it he could not 'fuck' him.  Jiraiya crooned soft loving words as he shifted his length from the tight clasp of his lover's body and felt the jump of his muscles, he was a slight bit sore even from the careful movements of his cock within his tight body. 

 

Jiraiya slipped up to lay beside him once more and Kakashi's breath caught as his fingers brushed lightly over a jagged scar on his shoulder, then sped as his tongue traced the highly sensitive area, soon his lover was whimpering pleading mews of urgent need that sent a thrill through Jiraiya.  He kissed his way up to Kakashi's collarbone and purred, "Do you wish to fuck me?" 

 

This he could do, his Myobu could get the cries of rapture he desired without being hurt... he couldn't bear to see his beloved in pain.

 

_Kakashi was breathless, his body growing desperately aroused as the teasing feathers of his partner's fingers continued to tempt him by circling his nipples, and yet he hesitated, "I can't give you pleasure... I could hurt you."_

_Jiraiya gave him a tender kiss stopping his protests, "I promise, you will not hurt me, and every soft moan you give brings me great pleasure."_

_Kakashi hesitantly nodded, he'd watched Ibiki fucking Jiraiya, seen the great pleasure their partner could give Jiraiya... he wanted those cries._

 

Jiraiya look some lube and stroked his lover's cock with it, not because there was any chance he'd hurt him , but to further tease him and reassure him that he would not hurt him.  Then rose over his arousal and pressed down on it taking it into him.  Kakashi reacted by howling in ecstasy and arching into the firm grasp.   Jiraiya lifted himself and lowered his body slowly on the tempting flesh... then took Kakashi's hand and traced his lover's finger around his entrance, as he verbally teased, "See how you fill me, your cock pumping into my body giving me strong waves of pleasure."  His seductive Myobu panted, and Jiraiya could feel his erection swell further within him at the tease. 

 

Jiraiya bowed down and nibbled his lover's throat as he rocked his hips fucking himself on the hard flesh, rocking slower as his mouth moved up towards his partner's ear.  His beloved's fevered cries of pleasure  grew more urgent as he grew closer and as Kakashi climaxed he grasped Jiraiya's hips bucking into the tight heat and wailing in ecstasy, then piercing deep as he came.  Jiraiya teased him to a few more fevered thrusts before his Myobu bucked up and came again, but now he remained bowed up howling in rapture as Jiraiya's mouth reached his ear and the tip flicked the sensitive passage. 

 

Kakashi's breathless keens brought more pleasure than even an orgasm but Jiraiya wanted him to know he 'gave him pleasure'.  He rose to seated,  tightened his muscles around his lover's cock and  cried out in ecstasy as his beloved gave a last strong buck into his pleasure spot.

 

_Kakashi could not catch his breath the surges of pleasure so strong he could only gasp breathes between his cries, the feel of Jiraiya's passage contracting around him tempted him into a final buck and he lay trembling at the powerful sensations still sweeping over him._

_Jiraiya placed light kisses over his flushed cheeks.  "Sensual Myobu, my Silver Kitsune."_

_After a few moments Jiraiya lifted off him, it was a strange sensation, not bad... in fact if he hadn't just cum, he could see becoming aroused by it.  They rose from the bed and went in to shower, even though his body's need was fulfilled, Kakashi craved the feel of his lover and lay pressed against him stroking over his chest and giving soft mews of pleasure as his partner's miraculous hands gently massaged him.  He hadn't even realized his body ached a bit at having had his lover's big cock in him until Jiraiya's experienced caresses took that discomfort away._

 

Jiraiya loved his Myobu so greatly, the adoration in his eyes was heavenly, he never wanted to see them turn indifferent and it was painful knowing that one day they would... he could not forget this was all temporary.

 

===========================================

 

END OF CHAPTER 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 20: FOR THE NIGHT (12 STONES)


	21. START AGAIN (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 21)

**START AGAIN (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT. 21)**

\-------------------

 

_It was time for their partner to get off work and Kakashi barely hid his excitement at the thought of touching his beloved.  As he and Jiraiya entered their lover rose and walked over to embrace him... the feel of his body brought an enthusiastic response from Ibiki's cock.  Kakashi drew back slightly and brushed his fingers over his erection.  Ibiki gave a low groan, "So sexy, my Saiai."_

_Kakashi drew a deep breath and reluctantly drew his hand back.  His lover's rigid length was a strong temptation, but feeling it within him would need to wait.  Ibiki stroked his face, "I can't wait to touch you Saiai..."  he took Jiraiya's hand drawing him close.  "I love you both so greatly."_

 

Jiraiya smiled and teased, "I think perhaps it is time to go home... this is not the right place for touching my lovers the way I wish to."

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

**After a fantastic meal, and a quick clean up the three men sat in the living room.  Although they frequently did this, they all knew it would not last long... especially tonight, the desire to touch each other was too strong.**

**It lasted only moments before his lithe partner rose and turned to straddle his lap, kissing him passionately.  Ibiki groaned, his Saiai was so seductive without even trying!  Hungrily he returned his lover's fevered kiss and soon Kakashi was whimpering and he drew back, looking over his shoulder at Jiraiya.  "Please touch me."**

 

Jiraiya smiled affectionately, "Gladly my Myobu."

 

Kakashi mewed and writhed slipping forward to rock his hips and rub the part of his ass against the bulge of his lover's cock.

 

Jiraiya chuckled at Ibiki's very soft whimper and cupped Kakashi's hips, easily setting him on his feet. "Perhaps touching you would work better without these clothes."  His Myobu nodded his eyes dropping down to both his lover's prominent erections then lifted dark with need.

 

Jiraiya gladly drew them into the bedroom and removed his own clothes.  Although very aroused himself he carefully tempered his desire with caution, he stood near his Koishii and his eyes met Ibiki's lovingly as his beloved removed his clothes. 

 

_Kakashi quickly stripped, watching his lovers was so enthralling!  His eyes rose from his partners sexy bodies up to meet Jiraiya's eyes.  "I want to watch you touch him, to see all the ways you bring him pleasure."_

_He'd gotten to touch Jiraiya while Ibiki was working and now wanted to see them touching each other, listen to their rapturous cries as they fucked._

"Koishii."  Jiraiya murmured leaning in to nuzzle his throat then tracing one of the scars with his tongue.  Ibiki groaned his erection bobbing at the tease.  Jiraiya's light touch feathered over his lover's needy length.  "Lay on the bed, I wish to taste your sexy body." 

 

Jiraiya was pleased when his beloved did without hesitation or concern, after pushing at his restrictions he had been a bit concerned Ibiki would become 'wary' of being asked to lay down for him.  Jiraiya knelt on the bed, bowed over his Koishii and sucking his cock.  He teased the aching flesh with strokes of his tongue and sucked on the head as his tongue teased the flushed tip listening as his lover moaned ecstatically.

 

_Kakashi's attention slipped from the riveting sight of Jiraiya's mouth caressing their partner's erection down to Jiraiya's ass,  he wanted to touch it.  So many times their skilled lover had given him amazing pleasure touching his ass... cautiously his fingers brushed over the firm cheeks, the motion brought a low groan of delight from Jiraiya._

 

**Ibiki gave a breathless cry, the vibrations playing over his swollen flesh were incredible!  He glanced down at his Koishii's seductive mouth moving on his cock and groaned, "So sexy!"  Then his gaze slipped over to the look on Kakashi's face as he watched them, "Sensual Saiai!"**

 

_Kakashi panted, now extremely aroused by the reactions of his lovers, Jiraiya's moan had clearly teased their beloved.  He stroked a bit more confidently, his fingers sliding between the firm cheeks to brush over Jiraiya's entrance.  Kakashi watched his experienced partner's face curiously, his breathing rapid at the powerful lust rising in him.  Gently he rubbed over the entrance again, he'd never touched anyone there..._

 

Jiraiya lifted his mouth from Ibiki's cock enclosing it in his hand and continuing to tease him as he moaned in pleasure at his Myobu's touch.  He breathlessly encouraged, "I love every touch you give me." 

 

_Kakashi was uncertain what to do and looked around, finding the lube he dampened a finger and circled his lover's sensitive rim just as Jiraiya always did with him... could he press in?  Would he hurt him?  He remembered the first time he'd had sex, when Ibiki was preparing him... pushing in if he wasn't ready would hurt Jiraiya..._

 

**Ibiki had been watching his Saiai, he could see Kakashi was growing increasingly uneasy,  "Saiai." He crooned, his eyes rose to met Jiraiya's, his Koishii had freed his aching length.  As greatly as he desired release he wanted to soothe his beloved more, and it was clear Jiraiya felt the same.  "Come kiss me."**

**Kakashi nodded moving away from the area he was clearly fascinated by, but uncertain of, to kiss Ibiki deeply.**   

 

Jiraiya lay beside Ibiki on his side gently massaging their partner's back, he knew Kakashi was still afraid he'd hurt him.  His Myobu had relaxed and now looked in his eyes with longing, he could see  Kakashi still wanted to touch him, his eyes met his Koishii's and saw his understanding and acceptance.  Ibiki was confident he could help, his eyes held no uneasiness, Jiraiya shifted to lay on his back and groaned in delight as his lovers caressed him.  He slipped his legs up to bent  and Ibiki stroked over the sensitive entrance to his body. 

 

**Kakashi's eyes lit with excitement as Jiraiya cried out, he took his Saiai's hand, dampening his fingers then used them to circle and tease their partner's entrance.  Kakashi looked up at the pleasure on their lover's face, then at the reassuring gaze of Ibiki as Jiraiya eagerly loosened his muscles.  Kakashi's finger slipped in, he looked surprised by the firm grasp... Ibiki realized then that his beloved had never felt the sensation of his lover's body enclosing and drawing on his fingers.  Kakashi nearly pulled his finger out but as he drew his finger back Jiraiya gave a deep moan of pleasure.  The delight that came to his face was followed by desire and curiosity.**  

 

_Kakashi stroked over his lover's balls with a light chakra pulse and Jiraiya was shocked into crying out in ecstasy and bucking into his finger, he gasped, "Oh Myobu!  That feels wonderful!"_

_He gained confidence and traced a teasing hum of chakra over Jiraiya's cock as he slowly thrust his finger in his body, his actions earned a lusty moan.  Kakashi trembled  in excitement, the strokes of his finger continued as the other hand moved back to trail around his entrance and send waves of chakra playing over the tender area._

_Jiraiya gave a loud urgent cry rocking his hips eagerly into his touch... Kakashi paused and looked from Ibiki's turgid length to Jiraiya's, then drew his hands away.  His partners had put aside their needs to let him touch Jiraiya, they both desired release very badly, "Please fuck our lover."_

 

**Ibiki nuzzled his Saiai's ear bringing a soft mew of pleasure then drew back and lay on the bed encouraging Jiraiya to lay on top of him, both gave loud groans of ecstasy at the feel of their bodies joining.  His Koishii's body rocked on the rigid flesh drawing on his cock until he was trembling with need and grasped his hips bucking into the temptation of his body and hearing his rapturous moans.**

 

Now too aroused to resist Jiraiya rose to seated and fucked himself on his lover's engorged length rapidly.  Crying out at the ecstasy and arching to feel the rub of it teasing his prostate, then tilted his hips and wailed in rapture as his Koishii grasped his hips bucking rapidly into his pleasure spot.  He trembled in ecstasy, his orgasm so intense that the feel of his Myobu's hand stroking his cock drew fevered howls, his body bucking until he could cum no more and trembled through a dry orgasm.

 

**Kakashi knelt beside them so aroused he quivered and a delighted smile on his face, it was his hand that had wrapped around Jiraiya's cock as he came, teasing him through multiple orgasms.  Ibiki was nearly as spent as his Koishii, the strong draw of his beloved's muscles as he experienced multiple orgasms had teased him until he'd exhausted him!  Although flushed and sweaty, his could see Jiraiya's interest in Kakashi's erection and gave a amused chuckle.  His lovers were temptation incarnate!**

Jiraiya lifted off his Koishii's gratified flesh, nibbled his Myobu's throat and purred, "Do you want me to take you in my mouth?"  Kakashi shivered in pleasure at the brush of his lips but as he drew back Jiraiya could see he was uncertain and reassured, "Anything Myobu."  

 

_Kakashi snuggled into Jiraiya, what he was wanted was unfair, "You are... tired_." 

 

Then Jiraiya knew, his eyes sparkled and his lips curved in amusement, he took his lover's hand and wrapped it around his cock.  Even sated the excitement of his partner's touch caused him to begin to harden, he'd always had a strong sex drive.  Kakashi's eyes rested on the semi-erect length and his fingers feathered over it watching it slowly harden with fascination and arousal.  His sensual lips parted as his breathing sped, he looked up and the lust in his gaze was all it took for Jiraiya to flush rigid once more. 

 

"I want you in me."  his gorgeous Myobu begged.

 

Jiraiya nodded, he nuzzled his throat and murmured, "Let me take care of your erection first."  Kakashi mewed, and then shivered as he nodded.

 

He knew his lover was very aroused and the tease as he prepared him would be extreme... but he could do both.  Jiraiya slipped down over him as Kakashi lay back, his mouth teased the tender expanse of his pelvis as his fingers drew lube then started circling and teasing his entrance. 

 

By the time his Myobu's body had accepted two fingers he was nearly writhing in need.  Jiraiya covered his turgid flesh sucking and teasing it with experienced draws as the two fingers scissored.  His sensual lover   gasped and cried out, Jiraiya blocked his orgasm and circled with three fingers as his mouth tempted his cock again.

 

Kakashi was mewing and shivering, the tease growing rapidly as their lover joined them and Ibiki's fingers teased their trembling partner's nipples.  Jiraiya pressed three fingers into the tight heat and drew on his beloved's cock.  Kakashi wailed arching his hips up into the pleasure and came, Jiraiya wiggled his fingers and his sexy Myobu gave fevered cries of ecstasy.  Jiraiya released his gratified length and his fingers curled, stroking over his lover's pleasure spot.   Kakashi writhed in rapture a last small jet of cum teased from his quivering body. 

 

Jiraiya slipped up and kissed him, he was sure his lover was very sated, but offered "Would you still like to feel me in you?" 

 

Kakashi's cheeks tinted, "Yes." 

 

Jiraiya smiled and kissed him again, the smile was partly because of Ibiki's 'interest' had been raised... Kakashi was so sensual he was difficult to resist even when you were sated.  It would be better to encourage Kakashi to have sex with his life partner, Ibiki, than to have sex with him, he was only a temporary partner.  Jiraiya reached over his Myobu's sexy body enclosing and drawing slowly on his Koishii's cock.  Ibiki moaned and Kakashi's eyes dropped to the temptation of his erection.  Jiraiya purred softly, "He wants you very much." 

 

That was all the coaxing it took.  Kakashi slid over to on top of Ibiki as he lay on his back.  Pushing down slowly on his cock, giving an ecstatic cry as the head of his arousal slipped through the ring of muscles.  Then a delighted moan, that was echoed by Ibiki, at the feel of his cock sinking into his lover's body.  Jiraiya smiled and teased them with light caresses. 

 

**His Saiai rocked his hips and as his body loosened Ibiki gave little bucks up into the wonderful grasp.**

 

Jiraiya watched as their passion grew until both his lovers were nearing their orgasm, then straddled his Koishii's legs and tilted Kakashi's hips so the next drop of his body and thrust up of his partner's cock hit that perfect spot. 

 

Kakashi wailed in pleasure as he climaxed, Jiraiya embraced him, holding him half way up on his lover's erection, and preventing him from dropping down on it as he ran a chakra stroke over his Koishii's balls.  Ibiki cried out and bucked hard as he came. 

 

 

Now Jiraiya left Kakashi drop to the base, both his partners trembled the powerful waves of ecstasy still surging through them.  Kakashi lay curled against his lover's chest and looked up at Jiraiya, "I could feel him cum." 

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "Yes, a very strong orgasm."

 

Ibiki nodded, the sudden warm pulse of chakra playing over his balls and leaving them tingling... he'd came very hard, he was very grateful Jiraiya had known and held his Saiai up, that would have hurt him.

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek gently, his eyes understanding, "I would never do anything that would hurt either of you... never my Koishii." 

 

Ibiki relaxed and embraced his Saiai as Jiraiya kissed him, "I know."   After another moment of rest  Kakashi rose off him and they went to shower.

\-------------------------------------

 

The morning was quiet and full of contentment as it usually was.  After his partners left Jiraiya worked on his novel and visited Tsunade, they snuck away and had a few drinks.  His friend not tried to not bring up the past, there were too many tragedies in it for them both.  Instead she teased him about if he was putting his latest 'exploits' in his new novel.  Her drinking had lightened since his return, she seemed to be ready to give up the crutch she'd held onto for so long, Shizune was now her 'support'.  Jiraiya was happy for them both.

 

Likewise they avoided any mention of the day when Jiraiya's lovers would grow distant and ask for him to leave.  They talked of village life as they waited for an 'exasperated' Shizune to find them and Tsunade's partner drew her back to her responsibilities while he went to the market for supplies for the evening meal.

 

It all was so perfect, Jiraiya wished this would last but this was a beautiful dream nothing more.  Very often now he'd forget that and need to remind himself... often he'd remain looking at the couch after his lovers left for the day.

 

All this was temporary, he didn't even have a room or a bed, a guest sleeping on the couch...

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki handed Kakashi the standard mission scroll, he looked it over and nodded then went to get 'suited up' for the mission.  The mission seemed on the surface to be very simple, not even ANBU, escort a very wealthy business man back to his home village.  The merchant claimed he required protection because he'd received many threats, but Ibiki doubted it.  It was more likely he enjoyed the way it made him look important to have a bodyguard.**

**Either way it did not matter the man paid the exorbitant fee and if there was a threat Kakashi would deal with it... but in truth _that_ was not the true mission only a cover for an ANBU mission.  He needed his most skilled ANBU on this, Kakashi was meeting a informant in the man's village who had Intel. on the Grass nin's activities.  It was always possible the informant may double cross them, Kakashi would not be fooled, but he doubted there would be trouble.  This was an informant that had given them very useful information in the past.  After the Grass Village nin sneaking into Fire country, and injuring his 'top ANBU', Ibiki was keeping a close eye on them.**

**\------------------------------------**

 

Ibiki informed Jiraiya when he got home that Kakashi was gone on a simple ANBU escort mission.   He  understood, Kakashi's 'two days off' after watching the Chunin meant nothing in reality.  It was a bit unfair that the ANBU had to continue pulling regular duty so their involvement in ANBU was not discovered.  They pulled twice the duties than a non-ANBU Shinobi, but it had to be that way and no one complained, it was an honor to be accepted as an ANBU.  But this meant his Myobu was on missions quite often, sometimes back to back, thankfully most were short ones. 

 

**After their meal and clean up Ibiki and Jiraiya went to the bedroom, he wanted to continue moving forward in his fight to free himself from his restrictions.**

**Jiraiya stood near, his fingers occasionally bushing or teasing some area of his body as Ibiki undressed.  Although it made him a bit uneasy, he could not deny his Koishii's touches were extremely arousing.   After he'd completed undressing Jiraiya embraced him, Ibiki could feel his lover's cloth covered erection pressed against him the feel of it brought very little discomfort most of the time... This was not one of those times.  The knowledge of what he was going to 'ask for' made it feel mildly 'threatening'.**

**He knew how good it had felt to have his partner rubbing over his rim, but also very frightening... in spite of the fear he wished to work on accepting it.   Ibiki looked at his beloved, "I want to feel you... thrusting against me."**

**Jiraiya released him and stripped, his massive erection now exposed and knowing it would soon be rubbing against his ass... Ibiki could feel his panic beginning to take hold and tried to deny it.  His throat went dry as his lover moved around to behind him and loosely embraced him once more.**

**Jiraiya's hand feathered lightly over his ass then gently he pushed his rigid length between Ibiki's thighs.  Ibiki stiffened and his body trembled, this was not what he expected and that added to his anxiety.  His Koishii remained still and kissed his neck very softly, "Do you want me to stop?"**

 

Ibiki looked undecided, then shook his head, "Please don't stop, I want this."  He glanced back to meet Jiraiya's eyes, his gaze apprehensive , but with no sign he wished to stop and his muscles loosened slightly.  "I cannot say it doesn't make me very uneasy, but I trust you."

 

Jiraiya rocked, rubbing his now aching cock against his lover's balls and although Ibiki immediately tensed at the first thrust, his body gradually relaxed as the slow rock of his partner's erection did not  bring pain.  Then closed his eyes in bliss as his beloved's hand enclosed his cock.

 

**Ibiki concentrated on the pleasure as his Koishii's skilled touch drew him right to the brink and reminded himself through the flashes of fear that he wanted this, he wanted to feel his beloved's touch to feel his lover's body against his.**

 

 Jiraiya stroked his lover's cock as he fucked the area, his erection rubbing against Ibiki's balls and bringing soft groans of ecstasy.  Jiraiya kissed his neck trying to remain focused on giving his beloved the most pleasure possible.  Rubbing against his rim and intercrural sex was disassociating the feel of contact and thrusting with the idea there would be pain... but they were in no way ready to even consider insertion of even a finger, that may never be possible but the easing of his fears about being touched there may be possible.

 

**As Ibiki neared release, he was distracted by Jiraiya's slow thrusts turning to little bucks, his muscles tightened again.  His Koishii's talented fingers circled his nipples with a light hum of Chakra and soon Ibiki was moaning in pleasure.  Even as the soft bucks became firm he felt the rapture of his partner's fingers teasing his cock, the strokes stopping before the head circling, then slipping back.  In moments the head of his cock was aching and he was desperate to feel his lover's touch there.**

**The touch when it came brought one of the most intense orgasms of his life, Jiraiya's finger bushed chakra over the tip pausing above the hole the low vibrations were like soft licks that traveled down inside.  Ibiki cried out bucking repeatedly until too spent to cum anymore and his legs quivering from the strength.  His experienced partner shifted his erection out from between his thighs and the firm length lay pressed against the part of his ass as Jiraiya held him and placed tender kisses over his neck and shoulders.**

 

Ibiki looked back at him, then quietly stated, "I want to touch you."  Jiraiya released him, his hands at his sides as Ibiki enclosed his erection, and slowly stroked the turgid length.  Jiraiya moaned, the pleasure was strong but he tried to remain focused, it was incredibly difficult.  Could he bear him bucking into the strokes?  No, better to go a bit less, verbal should not be too stressful.  "Koishii your touch feels so good!  I love it, your..."  Jiraiya gasped then moaned deeply as his lover caressed his balls.  "It feels so good... ah Koishii!" 

 

**Ibiki cupped his partner's hip urging him to rock into the stimulation, this was like when they thrust against each other in the shower... except he would not let himself look away and was not distracted by the feel of his beloved's body against his.  Ibiki watched his Koishii's erection and felt the hard flesh thrusting into his hand.  This was his lover's cock... his lover would never hurt him, he gave him pleasure.**

**Ibiki listened to his partner's cries and felt the firmer thrusts, he was giving his beloved pleasure just like Jiraiya did for him.  Suddenly a memory rose of kneeling before one of his captors knowing soon that his huge cock would pound onto his throat... his throat swollen... coughing on blood...**

**Ibiki looked up to meet Jiraiya's eyes, this was not 'them'.  He forced himself to look down at the engorged length again stroking twice more feeling it jump in his hand and the firm buck as his lover came... Ibiki traced the soft head as he looked at the cum... his lover's cum on their abs.**

 

Jiraiya remained still, waiting, his Koishii was thinking about what they'd done trying to separate it from the horrors of his past.  Ibiki looked up to meet his eyes stepped forward to embrace him and kissed him deeply.  Jiraiya was proud of him, he'd accepted it. 

 

**Ibiki drew back from the kiss and seriously  vowed, "I love you Koishii.  I never want to lose you."**

**Jiraiya smiled tenderly and caressed his cheek, "We should shower now."**

**Ibiki nodded, one day he'd convince him he'd never let him go again... one day he'd earn his trust again... he hoped.**

 

\-----------------------------------

 

Jiraiya rinsed their coffee cups, turned to his partner and smiled, "Today Kakashi will be home."  Breakfast never felt right without him quietly drinking tea beside them.

 

**Jiraiya's happiness at the thought of their lover returning brought a surge of joy and Ibiki nuzzled his Koishii, "Yes, he was meeting with someone about the grass nin..."**

**Jiraiya looked alarmed, Ibiki stroked his face.  Why did his beloved look so distressed?  "Is everything ok Koishii?"**

 

Jiraiya gave a slightly hesitant nod, "I find it a bit disturbing that he was meeting with someone who had information about the Grass nin."  It was the truth, although he didn't say why... that really was not something Ibiki should know about.  As Kakashi's commander he had to send his top ANBU on dangerous missions and the knowledge of his lover being tortured by the Grass nin would cause him to refuse to send him on any mission involving them... not to mention it was likely it would haunt him and bring horrific nightmares.

 

**Ibiki caressed his cheek, "I promise he is well, the outer border patrol reported seeing him."  Ibiki understood, Jiraiya was the one who'd needed to go get Kakashi when he was critically injured... he'd never got a report on what happened but it didn't seem like a good idea to ask his partner right now, he still looked very uneasy.**

**Jiraiya smiled and agreed, "Yes I'm sure everything went just fine.  Go to work Koishii, we both will see you after work."  His eyes were still concerned but he no longer looked as distressed and Ibiki nodded, kissed his beloved and went out to go to work.**

 

\---------------------

 

Jiraiya decided to go meet his lover in the missions office, it continued to bother him greatly that Kakashi had been dealing with someone who was involved with his abusers.  If his Myobu wasn't in yet he'd sit and talk to Iruka as he waited.

 

\----------------------------

 

_"Have a good day off."  Iruka said with a friendly smile._

_Kakashi studied him then replied quietly, "I will."  He turned and walked towards the door, only two nin beside him and Iruka remained.  He was extremely alarmed as one suddenly grabbed his wrist_.

 

Jiraiya had just walked into the mission's office, he saw one of the other nin reach out and Kakashi visibly flinched as the man's hand grasped his wrist.   Jiraiya felt a rush of anger, he refrained from reacting violently, but he greatly wished to.

 

He could see how much this was distressing his beloved and he was sure his Myobu not reacting was only because of a desire not to alarm Ibiki as he had last time.

 

_Kakashi was determined, no matter how foul it felt he would not react and cause his lovers to worry.  Then he saw Zonzai stiffen, a flash of fear in his eyes as he looked up over Kakashi's shoulder at Jiraiya.  Kakashi had felt when his lover had walked up, he recognized his chakra even if he had not looked back yet.  Zonzai released his wrist quickly and looked like he wanted to back away.  Kakashi glanced back at his partner as he moved away from his peer, the look in his lover's eyes was unmistakably angry._

_He'd never seen Jiraiya angry... even when he'd killed the nin who had been torturing him and rescued him.  His height and size suddenly took on a very intimating aspect, he'd never seen Ibiki angry either and speculated it was probably quite a bit similar._

_Jiraiya's anger did not distress him, as Kakashi stepped away from the other man his partner's gaze shifted to him in concern before returning with a great deal more hostility to look at Zonzai as he asked,  "Was there some reason you felt it was important to catch his wrist?"  Jiraiya's tone was mild but he made no attempt to hide the hostility in his eyes_.  

 

Jiraiya kept a rein on his anger but it was very upsetting, he never wished to see either of his lovers with fear on their faces.  Everyone knew Kakashi did not wish to be touched and for Zonzai to do so a second time was a deliberate provocation.

 

Zonzai looked nervously around the missions office before meeting Jiraiya's gaze timidly.  "Ah... no, not really... I... I just wanted to ask him something."

 

Jiraiya quirked a disbelieving eyebrow, his gaze piercing, "And what was it you **_urgently_** needed to ask?"  After a moment passed and the young man had not answered, he prompted, "You were going to ask him something **_important_**..."

 

Zonzai swallowed nervously it didn't help that his friend had run off deserting him and Iruka was now also standing near and looking at him. 

 

_Kakashi watched his lover as Jiraiya spoke, but when Iruka joined them none of the three men seemed to notice as he slipped away_.

 

The fiery tempered Chunin made no attempt to hide his anger at the immature Shinobi trying to pick a fight by purposefully provoking his 'co-worker'.

 

"I guess it's not really important..." when neither Jiraiya nor Iruka took his attempt to hedge his way out of  providing an excuse he fidgeted. 

 

Jiraiya's anger ebbed as Iruka's grew and the 'school teacher' easily nailed the guilty man to the wall.  "You did not have sufficient reason.  You don't have any reason at all do you?  I think you have a bit too much time on your hands, you will report for extra duty tonight.  I have a great deal of filing for you to do that will help you find a better use for your hands."

 

Zonzai looked like he was going to protest, no doubt he had been planning to go out to the bar that night, but at Iruka's sharp gaze he quelled and nodded.  Then turned to leave and Iruka snapped, "Zonzai I did not dismiss you."

 

Jiraiya tried to hide his amusement, Iruka was treating the young nin like an errant student.  The small man's voice was icy as he directed, "I believe you should apologize to Hatake Kakashi for so rudely grabbing him."

 

Zonzai nodded, but Kakashi had slipped away.  Iruka looked a bit surprised he was gone then, turned his attention back to Zonzai, "Go wash up and return promptly at 18:00."  The guilty man nodded and turned to walk out the door once more.

 

Jiraiya could see the dictatorial Chunin was still a bit angry, but when his gaze shifted to Jiraiya his voice was concerned, "Go find Kakashi... and tell him I'm sorry for making a scene in front of him, that must have been very uncomfortable for him."

 

Jiraiya smiled, he knew his beloved had left as Iruka had joined them, "I will go to him, I'm sure he understands your need to maintain order, public attention is just difficult for him." 

 

Iruka's expression was understanding and he nodded.  "Tell him I hope he has a wonderful day off."

 

His smile grew at Iruka's concern for his partner's feelings, "I will, thank you."

 

\----------------------------------------

 

When Jiraiya left Iruka sat and read a report as he tried to rein in his hostility, but it was highly offensive that after he'd talked to his former student the first time about respecting others rights he'd deliberately disregarded the 'correction'.  This time he'd make sure he remembered, no one was going to pick a fight in his office! 

 

He had no doubt  Zonzai's teammate had put him up to it, he'd wisely fled, but he would not escape the consequences of his behavior.  The man had a 1 day reprieve then he was 'all his' and he'd find a good use for him and his desire to cause conflict.

 

\------------------------------------

 

_As he left the mission's office Kakashi took to the trees outside and remained out of sight as he retreated to the security of his home.  Once there he stripped and immediately went into the shower, washing and trying to dismiss the feel of the other man's skin against his.  He shuddered at the memory, he hated the feel of hands touching his bare skin..._

_The sudden appearance of Jiraiya's chakra was immediately followed by his lover stripping and joining him in the shower.  He cradled him to his body as he lathered his hands and massaged him as washed Kakashi's body. **His** hands felt good and his touch was soothing._  

 

Jiraiya felt his beloved draw a deep breath then relax beneath his caresses, he knew Kakashi's thoughts had dwelled on Zonzai's touch, it was a deep seated phobia.  His lover turned and lay against him, closing his eyes at the pleasure of his touch and he placed a kiss on his Myobu's brow.  The beautiful bi-color eyes opened to look up at him, his fingers brushed Jiraiya's face.  "You were angry."

 

Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, "I don't like to see you upset."  His arms tightened slightly and he nuzzled his temple and murmured, "I will not let anyone treat my precious ones badly."

 

_Kakashi nodded, closed his eyes and relaxed into his body again.  He wasn't sure why, but it made him feel good that Jiraiya had expressed disapproval about Zonzai touching him... Iruka had too, it was baffling, he opened his eyes and looked up again.  "Iruka was angry._ "

 

Jiraiya nodded, "He knows that you do not wish to be touched and that Zonzai was aware of that too but choose to ignore your feelings."  Kakashi lay his hand on Jiraiya's chest, both their bodies reacted enthusiastically to the contact but their embrace was loving and not sexual. 

 

Jiraiya massaged his back gently and his lover groaned in delight.  "I like your touch." 

 

He kissed his Myobu tenderly and replied, "I love touching you, feeling your warm skin under my hands and hearing your pleasure."

 

Jiraiya felt his lover's soft hand caressing his chest, followed moments later by the extraordinary bliss of his beloved's lips placing silky kisses over his skin.

 

_Kakashi looked up and his hand stroked his partner's face.  Touching his lover's brought so much pleasure too.  He'd have never known this pleasure if Jiraiya had not insisted he tell Ibiki that he loved him.  Jiraiya was so compassionate, he accepted pain for him... for his chance to be happy.  But he had not been happy, he'd needed Jiraiya's touch as well_.

 

Jiraiya gathered his lover close in his arms as he asked, "Was the mission disturbing Myobu?"

 

Kakashi shook his head, "I don't dwell on what the Grass nin did... only the way I felt when I saw you... I didn't know it but I already loved you.  You took the pain away."

 

Jiraiya kissed his brow, "I'm glad."  He'd been extremely upset when he'd saw Kakashi bound and bleeding, he'd failed to protect him.  His precious one, injured and helpless as they abused him, just as his Koishii had been treated by the Rain nin... for so very long.

 

\---------------------------

 

When his foolish new helper arrived, Iruka got ready to put him to work, but first he needed to make it clear once more the reality of his actions, he had not taken his chastisement to heart last time.

 

"Zonzai, why would you do something that distresses someone  so greatly?"  Iruka asked firmly, although he was sure he knew the answer.

 

Zonzai looked ashamed.  "Sukima... He wondered why Kakashi wouldn't let others touch him... then speculated on how he'd react if I did it again."  Zonzai replied softly, it was clear he hadn't given any thought to his actions and simply let his friend goad him into touching the reclusive Jounin.

 

Iruka shook his head, his tone disappointed, "When will you learn to think through your actions?" 

 

Zonzai looked down at the floor and Iruka took his chin, and looked him seriously in the eyes, "If you don't, one day you will get someone you care about killed... or be killed yourself.  It's time for you to grow up."

 

Zonzai nodded, satisfied Iruka drew his hand back, his tone mild.  "You have a bit of filing to do, but you should be able to still go meet your friends at the bar."

 

Zonzai shook his head his quiet words were the first sign he had taken Iruka's words to heart, "I think I should just go home, I have a lot to think about.  Next time I see Kakashi I have to apologize."

 

Iruka nodded, "That would be good... both for you and for him.  He has been a nin for a very long time... since he was a young child... I would bet he has very good reasons he does not wish to be touched."

 

Zonzai nodded, took the boxes to the store room and started filing the reports.   

 

\----------

 

**Ibiki set the patrol report down and rose to go deal with the 'problem'.  This would end, no one was going to harass his lover and he'd make it very clear.  Although he remained expressionless there was no doubt he was furious and his men just quietly cleared the way then resumed their duties.**

 

\-------------------------------

 

**Ibiki waited outside the bar that he'd been informed was the place his 'suspect' would be found .** **Sukima** **paused outside the bar looking around.**

**"Your friend is not coming." Ibiki tonelessly stated and the young Shinobi  jumped, his eyes wide in fear.**

**"You find my lover interesting... a bit too interesting.  You wish your friend to touch him... again."  Ibiki stepped closer, his eyes glittered with hostility that was not evident in his emotionless tone.  "I am not happy... I do not 'appreciate' your desire to touch my partner.  I'm considering helping you remember that for the rest of your life."**

**Sukima** **'s legs shook so hard he looked ready to drop to his knees and plead.  Ok, Ibiki admitted he went a bit too far, he really did not have any intention of hurting him.  Frightening him, yes, but that was all, and he'd certainly done that.**

**He had already decided the best course long before the other man arrived.  "This is the last time I will be pleasant.  I suggest you do nothing to further draw my attention.  This time I will have another take care of reminding you.  Follow."  Ibiki turned, he had no doubt the terrified nin would follow.  Ibiki walked to the Admin. Building and up to the Mission's office, he could feel the foolish man's relief when they passed by the route that would lead to the ANBU Building.  Like he'd torture him for encouraging his friend to paw his beloved, he really wasn't the monster everyone believed he was.**

 

\-------------------------

 

Iruka was not surprised when Ibiki came by less than 20 minutes later.  With the ANBU Commander was Zonzai's friend,  Sukima,  looked like he wouldn't get a temporary reprieve after all.  Iruka rose his gaze fiery, "If it isn't the 'master mind' behind this travesty, the one who encouraged _his friend_ to violate another's rights." 

 

Iruka was still angry about the 'damage' he'd done to Kakashi, he had just been starting to relax!  But that was not the only thing he was angry about, "Zonzai's a person you call a friend and you set him up for your entertainment!  I have many extra duties to provide the entertainment you crave, and I doubt very much you'll find my ways of 'entertaining' you enjoyable, but they will be very enlightening."

 

Iruka studied Sukima's face, he looked relieved, Iruka's eyes drifted over to meet Ibiki's and he saw a flash of embarrassment.  Ibiki had chosen to show him emotion for that brief second and it was rueful, the equivalent of an embarrassed shrug... Iruka was amused, but he hid it before meeting Sukima's eyes. 

 

Ibiki had terrified the self-centered nin... well, it was not unusual to be protective of the ones you love and no actual harm was done to the young man.  He was sure the ANBU Commander had not even physically touched him, but then he would not have to the younger generation were terrified of him.

 

Ibiki slipped out leaving Sukima in 'his care', Iruka decided a last taunt was in order for his cruelty to both Kakashi and the man Sukima considered his friend.  "Caught the attention of the ANBU Interrogation Specialist... few could say they've done that and **_no one_** would wish to.  I'm not sure why you thought is wise to provoke three of the strongest Shinobi in the Leaf village... any one of the three could kill you instantly with one strike.  Ah, but then you did not risk **_your_** life you risked your **_friends_**.  Seems you have a twisted way of being someone's friend.  Now follow me I've got your scheduled extra duties." 

 

Sukima earnestly nodded, there would be no protest from him, Iruka could guarantee this had been a life changing event for the inconsiderate  Shinobi.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

_Jiraiya knew Ibiki would have heard about Zonzai touching him and Kakashi was relieved when he suggested they should go 'visit' him at his office._

_They walked through the building towards Ibiki's office and one of Kakashi's peers stopped before him._

_Umi quietly stated, "Ibiki was very upset Zonzai touched you again."  His co-worker did not require a reaction or response he simply continued down the hall._

_Kakashi understood and appreciated Umi's information, Ibiki was not in, but would be back shortly.  He looked up at Jiraiya and saw understanding in his eyes, "We will wait for him in his office."_

_Kakashi nodded, with Jiraiya there it would not be inappropriate to go into his Commander's office and wait for him to return.  The Sannin was one of the most trusted people in the leaf village... Kakashi looked up again and his fingers brushed his lover's hand.  Jiraiya smiled lovingly but did not try to take his hand._

 

\-------------------------

 

While waiting for Ibiki's return Jiraiya decided to discuss Kakashi's reaction to Zonzai's touch... or more specifically, lack of reaction.  "Why did you not defend yourself?"

 

_Kakashi cuddled against him, happy to be somewhere secluded where he could, "It upsets people._ "

 

Jiraiya caressed his gorgeous lover's face, "All I wish is for you to react how _you_ wish to, not the way others think you should."

 

Kakashi looked up at him nodded and lay against him again.  His Myobu's strong yearning for contact showed that the incident had distressed him more than he wanted him to know.

 

**Ibiki walked in his gaze taking in the distress of his Saiai's posture and the protective, reassuring hold of his Koishii around him.  Jiraiya released him and smiled, "We decided to visit with you for a few moments."**

**Kakashi crossed the room to hug him and Ibiki tried to relax, his lover was ok.  Jiraiya was with him and it would do his Saiai no good to be further distressed by talking about it right now... they would later when he got home and could look at the situation a bit more calmly.**

**Right now he still felt quite a bit of hostility, especially looking at how Jiraiya's eyes held concern, the report said he'd seen it happen and it was evident Kakashi wasn't the only one left distressed by it.**

**Ibiki smiled and nuzzled his lover's throat causing his breath to catch at the tease, "I am always glad to see you both."**

**Kakashi smiled and kissed him, "I would have been by after turning in my report at the Mission's office..." his smile disappeared at the memory of what happened there, but he continued, "I will fill out a report on the information I received from the informant."**

**Ibiki nodded, he'd love to tell him to do it later but as his commander it would be a serious breach of regulation.**  

 

_Kakashi stroked his face softly and backed away from his soothing embrace, he wanted to stay but he had responsibility to the village to report all information he'd acquired upon completion of the mission.  He looked over at Jiraiya, "I will be home in a bit._ "

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I will go to the market for the items we'll require for our evening meal."  Kakashi slipped up his mask and walked out.

 

Ibiki looked over at his Koishii, "I read that you were present when Zonzai grabbed his wrist."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he did not wish to cause Ibiki distress and they could discuss it later tonight, so he calmly replied, "Yes, I'd just gotten there.  Iruka took charge and I went back to the house to spend time with Kakashi."  There _was_ one thing he needed to tell Ibiki.  "Kakashi did not react, I believe it was because it upset us last time. I believe that made the... 'incident' even worse for him." 

 

Ibiki nodded, being defenseless while someone did something he found very distressing... yes. that would definitely make it worse. "It _more_ than upset me this time... I will talk to him."

 

Jiraiya brushed his cheek and kissed him gently, "We will see you when you get home."

 

**Ibiki understood why they were not going to return to walk with him, his Saiai was not comfortable in public right now.  He felt on display... every Shinobi in the village would know what happened by now.  "Yes Koishii."**

**As Jiraiya walked out Ibiki sat and tried to center himself and focus on the reports he still had to review.  It was probably for the best Zonzai and** **Sukima would be busy tonight, he imagined more than a few of the veteran nin would not be very 'pleased' with their actions, many had phobias of their own after years of traumatic events.**

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi was finished with his report and it had been submitted, now he could go home... but his desire  for Jiraiya's reassuring presence led him to the conclusion that he would go to the market and find him._

_As he drifted through the crowd he started debating if he should do it from the cover of the trees, some of the off duty nin looked over at him as they talked, it was unlikely they were talking about him but it still made him a bit uneasy._

_Kakashi saw Sukima, the Shinobi froze when he saw him, then paled and edged away like Kakashi held a severed head in his hand... well, in truth he had done that once, but it was still strange._

 

Iruka saw the guilty nin's reaction and looked back over his shoulder to see what had spooked the man.  His eyes caught  Kakashi's and he turned and smiled at him.  "It is good to see you out, I'm just taking a evening meal break myself before returning to finish some paperwork."

 

_Kakashi wasn't sure what to say so he remained quiet._

_"I'm very sorry Zonzai did not respect your personal space." Iruka's said, his expression was apologetic, Kakashi was confused by his behavior._

_Jiraiya said that Iruka knew he did not wish to be touched... but why would Iruka care that it was upsetting?  "You were angry."_

_Iruka nodded his tone held a note of disapproval, "What he did was incredibly rude, and done with the intent to cause you distress... no, I was not pleased."  Then Iruka gave him a little **conspiratorial** smile, "I would not have been disturbed if you had knocked the wind out of him again."_

_The more Iruka said the more confused he got.  "I don't react right." Kakashi wanted to leave, he didn't like talking and having everyone watching him._

_"You are different than some of the others, but it makes you better, you are your own person.  You, Ibiki and Jiraiya have understanding and compassion, have shown your absolute dedication to the village for all your life... gems among the stones protecting the village and its people.  I find it profound that the three men who've given the most, selflessly sacrificed for the village are the three who now have ones to love and support them that are the same as themselves."_

_This was all too much, Kakashi stepped back, "I need to go."_  

 

Iruka nodded as he watched the quiet man walk quickly away.  Talking to him in public had not been his best idea...

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi returned to the ANBU  building and his lover, he was confused by everyone's reactions.  Why would Iruka say it would be ok to strike Zonzai?  Everyone had been angry when he'd reacted... and he'd upset his partners.  Nothing made sense_.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up as his lover walked in, Kakashi's expressionless gaze turned uneasy as the door closed. "I don't understand people... I'm not like them.  I don't know how to be like them."**

**Ibiki walked over and embraced him, Jiraiya's words about him not reacting to Zonzai's touch because it would distress them immediately came to mind.  H** **e didn't like that his beloved had not reacted because he believed it was what he'd wish him to do.**

**"Often I feel like that, like I'm not the same... but I do not need to be and neither do you."  Ibiki rubbed his back gently.  "Saiai... don't _endure_ something that causes you distress for me.  If someone touches you or does something that violates your rights I want you to react however you feel."  **

**He kissed his lover's soft lips and reassured, "It's not that you are reacting that is upsetting for me, it's the knowledge that you are being harassed and it's no less disturbing when you do not defend yourself..." in fact it had been _more_ upsetting.**

 

_Kakashi thought on the way_ _Sukima_ _had paled when he saw him and fled.  Umi's words  answered why.  "_ _Sukima_ _is afraid of you."_

_It was a statement not a question but his beloved answered the unspoken question of why.  "I did not react well to his encouraging Zonzai to touch you."_

_Kakashi nodded, he understood and was not disturbed by the fact_. 

 

**Kakashi looked thoughtful a moment then stated, "Jiraiya was angry... so was Iruka."**

**Ibiki kissed his shoulders tenderly, his Saiai's gaze grew confused as he elaborated, "Iruka said it 'would not have bothered him' if I'd struck Zonzai again, but the others react like I'm behaving ... wrong.  I don't know what is right."**

**Ibiki smiled lovingly and replied, "Do what you feel like doing, don't concern yourself with what others would say."**

 

_Kakashi lay his hand along the side of his neck his finger's feathering over the sensitive scars, but it wasn't a conscious attempt to arouse only a need to feel him.  "I don't think Zonzai or_ _Sukima_ _will touch me now."_

_Ibiki's eyes glittered hard and cold for a moment and he replied, "I'm sure I made it very clear that it is 'inadvisable'."_

_Kakashi nodded.  Iruka had said they were different and that it wasn't bad, and his partners believed he should react however he felt, they did not wish him to try to be like the others._

_Touching Ibiki was soothing, he traced his beloved's lips as he added, "I think Jiraiya frightened Zonzai very much_."

 

**Ibiki nodded, that did not surprise him, Jiraiya was very protective and he had no doubt he'd been quite hostile.   Ibiki was relieved that his beloved didn't look distressed anymore... it had been more than being touched.  His Saiai had been distressed because he believed he was expected to be like 'the others' and react as they would.  But now he knew he was not expected to be like the other Shinobi, he was allowed to be himself.   Ibiki was glad Iruka had talked to him, let him know it was ok to react how he felt.**

**"Jiraiya was upset when he heard you were meeting with someone about the Grass nin, this had to have distressed him very much."  Which brought to mind the mission that his Koishii had to rescue Kakashi on.  "You never did tell me what happened on the mission where Jiraiya had to come to get you."**

**Kakashi nodded, his fingers continued to trail over Ibiki's skin.  "I secured the scroll, fought with some of the Grass nin when they tried to stop me.  I was injured.  Then suddenly the Grass nin were dead."  Kakashi stated seriously, "Jiraiya had found me injured... he killed the ones who injured me before I could even realize he was there."**

**Ibiki nodded, he knew his Koishii was one of the legendary Sannin but it was so easy to forget it when you saw how gentle he was... it was not in Zonzai's best interest to trigger Jiraiya's protective instinct, while he would not kill him, he could easily injure him _very_ badly.**

 

_Kakashi sighed, his body completely relaxed for the first time since he'd left on the mission.  "I'm going home, Jiraiya should be there.  We'll come walk with you when you get off work_."

**Ibiki smiled, "I would like that."  Kakashi kissed him slipped up his mask and walked out.  His Saiai was doing much better now... this had been building up since the first time he was touched by Zonzai... possibly longer.**

**Ibiki sat down and returned to the reports, he had gotten to Kakashi's... he was happy to see there was nothing alarming in it.**

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

**His partners did come to walk with him when he was done for the day, Kakashi didn't look any less comfortable than what he usually was, his emotionless gaze taking in everything around them then warming briefly as his gaze rested on them.  Ibiki was glad they'd come, the walk back to the house every evening beside one or both his lovers was a cherished part of his day.**

**\---------------------------------------------------**

**END OF CHAPTER 21**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 21: START AGAIN (RED)


	22. WHAT I BELIEVE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 22)

**WHAT I BELIEVE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 22)**

 

\-------------------------------------

 

**Once back at the house, Ibiki began preparing the poultry...  the memory of cooking with Jiraiya suddenly surfaced and it brought a longing for so many of the things they had once shared that were lost when he repeatedly broke his beloved's heart.**

Jiraiya saw Ibiki's hands pause, he remained quietly looking down at the chicken he was preparing, his expression sad.  Kakashi looked at Jiraiya with distress and he stroked his Myobu's hand in reassurance before going over and very lightly he wrapped his arms around his lover's waist in a tender embrace.  His Koishii looked back, then surprised Jiraiya by relaxing back against him without reservation.  "I was remembering how I had been teaching you to cook before I..."

 

Jiraiya stopped his words with a kiss, "I would love for you to continue teaching me to cook."  His beloved had nothing to feel guilt about, he had not done anything wrong, it was just how all of his relationships went... nothing ever lasted and all they could do was enjoy the present.

 

Jiraiya looked over at his extraordinary Myobu, he refused to think about how much it would hurt to lose them both. "Would you like to learn?"

 

_Kakashi shook his head, "I want to watch."  He wanted to watch his lovers touch and smile, and to enjoy the playful teases... replace the memories of Jiraiya sadly watching them and longing to be touched.   The memory was disturbing, Kakashi rose from the stool and walked over.  His partners immediately drew him in to their loving embrace. This was everything he needed._ _"I am happy_."

 

**Ibiki understood and he was sure Jiraiya did as well, his Saiai had also been thinking about the past and his words were ones of his satisfaction and contentment with how everything had worked out.**

 

"I could not be more happy, I feel so blessed to have my two partners love me as much as I do them"... even if it was temporarily.  Jiraiya nuzzled his Myobu's hair, but was careful not to brush his ear... if he did their meal would be _very_ late, their lover's needy mews a temptation beat out even the best food on earth.  His cock hardened at the thought and Kakashi looked down, clearly tempted, but stroked Jiraiya's chest then stepped back.  "I will watch you."

 

Jiraiya smirked and teased, "How about we cook first?

 

Kakashi looked surprised, then his cheeks tinted slightly and he smiled, "Yes, that would probably be best." 

 

_Watch him... he'd been looking at his partner's cock... yes that would something he'd like to do much more than watch.  His gaze slipped over to Ibiki's rapidly swelling length and drew a ragged breath then returned to the stool to watch his lovers_.

Jiraiya saw the enticing little blush of his fair skinned beloved, but that wasn't nearly as great a tease as the way his eyes darkened in desire.

 

**Ibiki listened to his lovers teasing each other and felt at peace, all the bad was behind them, they would not let anything separate them again.  His Koishii's arms had fell away and he resumed filleting the chicken and instructed Jiraiya on what he could do to prepare the spring salad.**

 

\---------------------------

 

The meal turned out wonderful, everything made so much better by the happy comradery and light  flirting as they prepared the meal.  After eating and clean up they did not even attempt to sit and talk in the living room, all three men were eager to touch each other and they went directly to the bedroom.

 

Once more Jiraiya and Kakashi stripped, and Jiraiya drew their sensual lover to his side.  The two men stood next to Ibiki as he undressed.   

 

**"Koishii, Kakashi is going to rest his hand on your shoulder as you finish undressing."  Jiraiya's voice was a soothing croon.**

**Ibiki nodded, he was concerned it would be different to have Kakashi's touch, but as his Saiai touched him it felt no different than when Jiraiya touched him as he undressed.  A bit of aversion but he was coming to expect and enjoy the touches.**

**Jiraiya smiled, his gaze full of adoration, but he wasn't done yet.  "He's going to stroke your chest down to your cock."  Ibiki felt extremely uncertain, it wasn't that he didn't already accept his partner's touch in those places, it was that he had just undressed and was still wary of being touched.  Would this cause him to react and draw away?  He didn't want to make his Saiai feel like he did not wish his touch, he did.**

Jiraiya's standing beside Kakashi was to help Ibiki bridge the transition from his touch to their partners, he knew his beloved could do this and he could see it was equally important to Kakashi.  Although he had said nothing it was clear he had wanted to be involved, but had been left out up until now.  Jiraiya massaged his back lovingly, his Myobu was so accepting.

**Kakashi's soft fingers slowly trailed down to his chest as Ibiki thought about everything.  Although none of Jiraiya's statements were phrased as a question there was no doubt in his mind that every one of his lover's words was 'a pre-warning' so he would not make him uneasy.**

**"I'm going to touch you now Koishii."  Jiraiya's eyes were calm, his serine expression made it less threatening.**

**It was both easier and harder knowing what they wanted to do but in the end the best way, it would not be beneficial to make him anymore uncomfortable than was necessary and this was to give him the freedom he longed for.**

**Ibiki tried to dismiss any discomfort at the bold touches, this was his partners, he loved the feel of their fingers touching him.  He looked in his both his lovers eyes took a deep breath and relaxed as much as he could, concentrating on their fingers on his skin and delighting in the way touching him excited his Saiai and the pleasure on his Koishii's face. Then he relaxed completely, his lover's touches felt so good, he wanted those touches.**

 

Jiraiya debated pushing a bit further by having Kakashi stroke his erection while he fondled his balls but decided it was too large a step... not yet, a bit of teasing and they'd attempt it.  Jiraiya circled Ibiki's nipples with a soft hum of chakra, slowly tempting him, making him ache for more intimate touches. 

 

**Kakashi's fingers brushed his balls and Ibiki's muscles jumped as he resisted drawing away from the unexpected touch.  His beloved started to drop his hand away, but he encouraged him, "Please Saiai touch me, your touch feels so wonderful."**

**Between the attention of his two partners, Ibiki's whole body felt like it throbbed, desperate to feel his lover's body pressed to his.  Kakashi's fingers teased his balls then rose to feather lightly around his pelvis.  He groaned, his engorged cock bobbed, begging for his touch.**

 

_Kakashi trembled, he wanted his lover... but even more he wanted to see both his partners breathlessly crying out in rapture and he pleaded, "Please fuck Jiraiya... I need to see you... please."_

 

Jiraiya smiled, kissed Kakashi lovingly and took Ibiki's hand encouraging his Koishii to lay on the bed.  Slowly he kissed up the front of his lover's legs from his knees up.

 

**For a moment Ibiki imagined those tender kisses being placed on the backs of his knees.  The thought  made him very uneasy, but not the strong anxiety it brought before... Of course, his beloved wasn't behind him at this time and that maybe the reason he didn't feel so strongly about it.**

 

Jiraiya straddled him, laying covering his lover as he gradually pressed down taking his rigid length into his needy body... the long tease of them both brought soft groans of pleasure and desire.

 

_Kakashi's eyes rested on where Ibiki's cock entered their partner's body, he reached out and traced the filled entrance and looked up surprised by the fevered moan of delight his touch brought from Jiraiya.  He wanted to hear his experienced lover's cries of ecstasy at his touch.  Kakashi brushed the stretched skin sending a low pulse of chakra through his fingertips and was surprised as Jiraiya wasn't the only one to gasp out a rapturous cry.  His lovers were so exciting!_

_Cautiously his finger traced chakra over Ibiki's balls and watched him buck up into Jiraiya... he was delighted at how greatly he was teasing them!_

 

**Ibiki kneaded Jiraiya's ass cheeks and rocked his hips rapidly, now urgently needing to feel his lover's body stroking his cock.**

 

Jiraiya was extremely aroused, the fascination and excitement on his Myobu's face and the passion and lust in every movement of his Koishii's body tempted him so greatly.  He began fucking himself on his lover's wonderful cock, moaning delightedly and trembling at his attempt to delay his orgasm as long as possible.  Finally he gave in tilting his hips and crying out in rapture as the powerful waves of pleasure swept through him and ecstatically met his beloved's last thrust as he came.

 

_Kakashi trailed his fingers over Jiraiya's ass feeling the muscles clench as reached his orgasm... the way they tightened as he gave a last rock into their partner's cock.  Would that be how his muscles would feel as Jiraiya thrust into his body and came within him?  That was a question he would never know the answer to...  Jiraiya lay covering Ibiki for a moment and kissed him deeply, then turned his attention to him._

 

As he looked back Jiraiya caught the look of yearning on his Myobu's face, then acceptance and love.  He wanted to fill all his lovers needs... but some he could not.  Although his smaller partner could fuck him, he would never be free to fuck and truly enjoy his beloved's body without knowing he was hurting him... and he never wished to hurt either of his cherished lovers.

 

Jiraiya lifted off Ibiki's gratified length, laid his Myobu down on the bed and began kissing his way down his enticing body. 

 

_Kakashi mewed, he had been desperate for his lovers touches even as he enjoyed watching them  fuck.  Ibiki rolled onto his side his fingers circling his nipples and placing light kisses over his chest.  Kakashi shivered at the pleasure, then cried out as he felt Jiraiya's talented mouth tease his cock.  Giving strokes of his tongue up the shaft and flicking his tongue on the throbbing head,  Kakashi whimpered his need escalating very rapidly under his lovers combined attention._

_Jiraiya enclosed and sucked on the aching length, but his finger was now resting and blocking his release.  Just knowing his lover was going to deny him teased Kakashi until he was bucking into his mouth urgently._

 

**Ibiki smiled at his Saiai's wanton cries and the ecstasy on his face, leaned down and kissed him, Kakashi gently cupped him into the kiss whimpering at the strength of his hunger.  Even while sated, that alone was nearly enough to excite him again.**

 

Jiraiya continued bobbing on his lover's engorged flesh drawing powerfully with every slip up to the head and hearing his desperate whines.  Kakashi broke his kiss, fevered with need and giving keens of rapture.

 

He lifted his finger and dropped to the base feeling his lover bucking into the tight hold as he was allowed to cum, his wails of ecstasy sounded so sweet... this was so perfect.  How could he ever bear to lose these two men?  Jiraiya forced the thought away, those were not questions he wanted to think on right now, for now he had them and felt warmth of their love.

 

Jiraiya released Kakashi's gratified length and slipped up to lay on the other side of him, Ibiki and he enclosed their precious lover as he caught his breath.  But all three men were now sweat soaked, which was a bit uncomfortable and soon they went to shower.

===========================

 

**All the progress he was making with Jiraiya he needed to bring Kakashi into it much more.  Ibiki turned to look at his Saiai as his beloved walked into the shower and a bit hesitantly he asked, "Saiai I wish to feel you hold me from behind."**

**His partner's loving gaze did not falter and he moved around Ibiki and held him from behind.**

Jiraiya watched his partners, ready to step in if necessary to ease their stress, but did nothing to  interfere.  

 

_The feel of his lover's body was arousing and Kakashi hardened, he started to release him and move away but remained as his beloved softly spoke._

 

**Ibiki was uncertain once more but glanced back and asked "Hold me close... I want to feel your erection against me."**

**Kakashi looked surprised but complied, Ibiki could feel his lover's cock laying against the part of his ass.  He'd never tried... never given Kakashi the level of trust in these matters that he gave Jiraiya, his Saiai deserved that trust.  His Koishii was watching, his eyes loving and reassuring.**  

 

Ibiki looked a bit anxious and Jiraiya leaned forward and nuzzled his ear, "Only do what you can... can you let him rock against you?"

 

Ibiki shook his head, "I want to, but I'm not sure I can bear it."

 

As further evidence that his beloved was growing distressed he did not react to the nuzzle.  Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "You do not have to, you never have to do something... remember you are in control and can say stop at any time.  Koishii will you turn around and hold Kakashi, he needs your reassurance."  

 

Although Kakashi looked a bit anxious Ibiki needed it far more than him, but it was important to get his mind off the distress he had felt and his concern for their partner was a good distraction.  They would try to move forward in another way, he could see this was something his Koishii wanted greatly.

 

_Ibiki looked concerned, as he turned to embrace him.  "I love you so much, this is just hard."_

 

_Kakashi kissed him tenderly, "I love you.  I can accept anything you wish to give, I don't expect you to do anything that is upsetting."_

 

Jiraiya nuzzled Ibiki's ear again and heard his breath catch, this was a healthy step, he was determinedly bringing Kakashi into his attempt to regain the freedom he'd lost when he was horribly abused.  His Koishii was so strong.  Jiraiya decided to 'press' a bit further, he wanted to see how far they could take it before Ibiki was too uncomfortable to go further.  "Can I hold you from behind Koishii?"

 

After a moment Ibiki nodded, Jiraiya lightly embraced him his fingers feathered softly over his hip and slipped to between his lovers, cupping their cocks together and brushing teasing pulses of chakra over the tender heads that brought immediate cries of need.  His hand moved away as Ibiki took Kakashi's hand and enclosed their erections thrusting into the wonderful sensation.   Jiraiya embraced his beloved closer, his hands now rested on his Myobu's slender hips guiding him as he thrust into the pleasure. 

 

_Kakashi felt Jiraiya's hands drawing him forward into the stimulation and understood, pressing into the temptation as the two men fucked the tight hold feverishly._

 

Jiraiya pressed into Ibiki a bit more, the rocking of his partner's hips as he thrust rubbed Jiraiya's cock along the part of his ass.  He watched Ibiki, trying to ignore the stimulation as much as he could, his Koishii was growing too aroused to be distressed.  Hopefully things like this could help his body to associate the feel of someone rubbing against him with pleasure.  Jiraiya began to slowly thrust into the rocking motion, watching his lovers for any problems... but the problem that rose wasn't from them, but himself.

 

He had became extremely aroused, the cries of his partners and stimulation bringing an urgent need for release, and he started to ease back.  Although Ibiki did not look back there was no doubt as he asked, "Please stay."

 

Jiraiya continued gently thrusting, hearing Kakashi's rapture as he came.  As Ibiki reached his orgasm he pressed back into Jiraiya's strokes, it was permission to climax against him.  Jiraiya kissed his neck passionately and gave a firm buck as he came, then eased back.  He watched his Koishii and waited, he wasn't sure if he'd distressed him, but it was very likely he had with the firm buck and feel of cum on his ass.  

 

Ibiki gave a soft tremble and his voice was a bit strained as he asked, "Jiraiya, I need you to hold me.  I need to feel your body against me, your arms around me."

 

**Although extremely anxious he needed to feel his Koishii's loving touch and feel his body against him as he tried to connect the feel of his lover's cum with the tender kisses.  His heart pounded rapidly and he closed his eyes for a moment trying to stop the escalating anxiety from rising to panic.**

**The feel of his beloved's familiar hands, the warm security in his arms, this was not them.  Jiraiya gently embraced him, kissing his sensitive throat and upper back and crooning quietly, "So strong, you amaze me Koishii.  You are so extraordinary."**

**This was the man he loved... no, the _men_ he loved.  His loving partners wanting to embrace  him, to soothe him.  Ibiki drew a deep breath and relaxed a bit, "Saiai, I wish to hold you."**

 

_Kakashi felt a strong well of love for his partner, Ibiki was aware of what they were doing all along but choose to ignore it and concentrated on the pleasure._

_Kakashi gently hugged him from the front, "I love you."  He felt so very lucky they had such a caring lover as Jiraiya, someone who always tried to solve any problem and give them pleasure.  And he agreed with Jiraiya, Ibiki was an exceptional man. He didn't think anyone else could try so hard to move forward away from their past, accept the fear and look for the pleasure._  

 

Jiraiya felt his beloved tremble again and softly urged, "I think we should wash now."  Ibiki nodded mutely, releasing Kakashi and turning into the shower to wash away the cum and then the remainder of his body, he wasn't looking at them and Jiraiya knew he was trying to accept what they'd done.

 

He gave Kakashi a little shake of his head, it was important he not touch him on the back right now, but the understanding in his eyes let Jiraiya know he had no intention of touching him.  After several minutes Ibiki turned to face them, then took their hands, "I'm very blessed to have you both."

 

**They had gone quite a bit further than he could have ever anticipated, possibly too much for all at once.  His intuitive Koishii asked gently, "Did we push further than you can accept?"**

**Ibiki slowly shook his head, "I think I'll be ok... please don't stop helping me try to break free of my past."**

**"I will never stop Koishii, as long as you wish it", Jiraiya stroked his face lovingly, "I will do anything for you my strong brave lover, you're so extraordinary... anything."**

**Kakashi nodded, Ibiki could see he wanted to be held but was resisting his desire because he didn't want to cause him further stress.  He wished he could hold him but just the thought brought strong anxiety, he needed a few moments to regain his stability...  he was sure his Koishii... and very likely Kakashi as well, knew that feeling Jiraiya cum against his ass was almost enough to make him sick, but he still didn't regret it.**

Jiraiya saw Kakashi's need to be held, he was worried about Ibiki... he drew his Myobu into his arms, embracing him from behind he placed a soft kiss on his shoulder.  His beloved leaned back against him, his stress dissipating **.**

_Jiraiya was here, everything was ok... it just frightened him.  Ibiki had gotten so pale... he looked like he was barely holding back his horror at the feel of their lover cumming against him... did he really want this?_

_Jiraiya kissed his temple bringing him back to focused on the immediate present... he wished Jiraiya could be holding Ibiki, he was the one who always comforted him... but Ibiki could not bear his touch either.  Jiraiya placed a kiss at the base of Kakashi's neck and murmured quietly, "Everything will be alright."  Kakashi drew a deep breath and slowly released it along with his tension, yes everything would be ok._

**Ibiki was tempted to ask for them to touch his legs... although not his knees at this time.  But he knew he'd pushed himself a bit too far already.  He just hoped his dreams didn't upset his Saiai... there was no doubt he'd have at least one very bad one.  No matter how bad his dreams were, it was still worth it and he wanted to do this again... maybe not for a bit, but definitely do it again.**

**He'd calmed enough to lightly embrace his Saiai and he felt Jiraiya's arms fall away, freeing Kakashi.  Ibiki knew his Koishii was going to step back to let them hold each other and gently caught his arm, "Please, stay I need both of you."**

**Jiraiya nodded his eyes so full of love that Ibiki couldn't imagine how he could ever have thought he could live without it... but he had sent him away.  He'd been such a fool and he'd almost lost him so many times.**

**After a few moments Ibiki released them, they finished washing and dried themselves.  Then all three lay together on Kakashi's bed... Jiraiya's bed...  Ibiki felt a spike of guilt all this was his fault.  "Koishii we really want you in here, I wish I could fit another bed in here."**

**Jiraiya smiled but it held deep sadness, "No I don't need a bed, please don't buy me anything.  I'm just happy you both want me."**

**"We want you forever.  We never want to lose you." Ibiki replied as he stroked his beloved's face.**

_Kakashi cuddled against Jiraiya and insisted, "Forever."  He couldn't lose him, he couldn't even imagine trying to live without his comfort and understanding._

_But Jiraiya's eyes held deep sorrow as he replied,  "I am not someone you can love forever... I wish I was, you could never imagine how greatly I wish I was, I am glad you two have each other..."_

_Kakashi wrapped his arms tightly around him, "I won't ever let you go."  He was serious, he couldn't let him go, he and Ibiki needed him so very much._

Jiraiya gave a sad little smile and soothingly caressed his Myobu.  The time would come when they were ready for him to go... wanted him to go.  Their love would die just as all those before them, until then he would try to take in enough love to bear the loneliness that would come. 

**Ibiki lay his arm over Jiraiya enclosing him against Kakashi and seriously stated.   "We will both spend the rest of our lives looking for you... we won't let you go."  He knew he wasn't the only one who felt that strongly about not losing him.  Jiraiya looked alarmed.**

 

Two of the top Shinobi, the protectors of Kohana, would leave to find him... leave the village they had protected so many times... leave it without their protection!  "No... please."  He looked down at Kakashi, his slight lover was still holding him tightly, then at Ibiki.  "You both are needed here."

 

**Ibiki cupped his Koishii's face tenderly and insisted, "Then you cannot leave."**

**Jiraiya shook his head and sighed softly his hand massaging Kakashi's back gently, unconsciously trying to soothe him... No they could not ever let this man go, the great love he held for them was as strong as theirs for him, they all needed each other.**

 

Jiraiya quietly reassured, "I will not leave, not until you wish me to."  The truth was he couldn't even then... there was nothing out there but emptiness and he'd rather be in terrible pain than to live in that emptiness just waiting to die.  He'd just have to be very cautious he maintained a Genjutsu and hope it worked well enough to conceal him... it wouldn't, but he'd face that when the time came.

**"We will never wish you to."  Ibiki replied and kissed him, his Saiai still clung to Jiraiya, he didn't believe he would stay... too much death and loss haunted his beautiful lover.  Jiraiya continued cuddling him tenderly, trying to calm him with gentle caresses.**

**In time the three men grew tired but as Jiraiya walked out to the couch Kakashi watched with a worried gaze.  Ibiki kissed him, "He won't leave he promised, we'll convince him that we can love him forever, we'll just keep trying until he accepts it."**

**His Saiai nodded, he looked less anxious, and Ibiki moved to his bed.  Soon they were asleep but sadly not for very long.**

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------**

 

Jiraiya heard his beloved and cursed his not sleeping on the floor so he was nearer when it started.  As he walked in he saw Kakashi was sitting up looking extremely distressed.  Clearly he knew exactly what his lover was dreaming, given what they'd done in the shower it was not difficult to guess.

 

Jiraiya wanted to comfort his Myobu but he needed to gently draw their lover from his dream first,  "I will protect you always.  I will never allow anyone to hurt you.  You are safe."  Jiraiya could hear by his Koishii's change of breathing that he was awake. 

 

Although he needed to soothe Kakashi, he could not move away, not at this moment when their beloved was still trying to ground himself in the present.  The problem was solved as his Myobu walked up and stood beside him, he took Jiraiya's hand and softly added, "I am here, I will never leave you.  I will protect you with my life."

 

Jiraiya gave a slight shake of his head, their partner would be reminded of his almost dying in Tsunade's arms... twice.  But Ibiki saw the subtle shake and reassured, "I know, you both will.  And I will gladly give up mine to protect you both."  He was quiet a few moments then asked, "I want you to lay with me."

 

Jiraiya noticed he did not say beside him, he couldn't bear a touch yet.  Jiraiya glanced down at Kakashi and saw he understood.  They went and lay on the bed one on each side of their distressed lover and waited.  Ibiki reached out and took both their hands, "I'm very blessed to have you both." 

 

Kakashi  replied, "We feel the same way."

 

Jiraiya agreed, "You are so brave... so strong, we love you so much."   

 

**A few more minutes passed before he drew both his lovers close.  Neither touched him until he asked, "I need to feel your touches."  Then both lightly stroked his arms and chest, it was calming for them all but it was still quite some time before the three men were ready for sleep again.  He regretted that he upset his Saiai, but thankfully Jiraiya was there to comfort him.**

 

\-------------------------

 

The morning was a bit quieter than normal, although he had the day off Kakashi still walked to work with Ibiki under the pretense that he needed to clean and sharpen his weapons.  Jiraiya remained to work on his novel, but they all knew he had remained because he was seeking to try to make things as 'normal' as possible.

 

_When Kakashi returned he felt more relaxed, Ibiki had not seemed effected by the nightmare. It made sense that he was so resilient, he'd been suffering these nightmares for years.  Jiraiya rose to greet him and he happily embraced him, surprised, he looked down at his partner's erection before looking up to meet Jiraiya's eyes._

_Jiraiya chuckled, "I was writing on my novel, very stimulating... and with the feel of my tempting lover pressed against me I can't help being highly aroused."_

_Kakashi's finger's feathered over the sensitive flesh and his beloved groaned in pleasure, "Sexy Myobu." Then his hand cupped Kakashi's face and he kissed him tenderly.  There was never any 'demand' from Jiraiya, although passionate his kiss was gentle and full of love, it made him want to feel the adoring soft caresses of his partner as his body accepted his big cock deep inside... not to mention the thought of being filled by his lover had a very strong draw.  "I want you in me... please."_

 

Jiraiya could see by the look in Kakashi's eyes that he expected to be denied, "I would love to feel you Myobu, to stroke and kiss my sensual beloved as my cock is embraced by his seductive body." 

 

Kakashi drew a ragged breath pressing into him eagerly as Jiraiya's skilled caresses removed his clothing and teased his body.  Jiraiya kissed him and lead him to the bedroom, there he stripped and his lover's eyes rested on his erection before lifting to meet his, he could see the longing in his beloved's eyes.  Jiraiya lay him down and started kissing up his legs nuzzled his balls and getting a delighted moan, then kissed up his torso to his nipples and gently sucked on them, flicking them with his tongue until his enticing Myobu was bowed up into the pleasure mewing in need. 

 

_Jiraiya lay between his legs!  Would he finally fuck him?  Kakashi was so excited his heart raced, but as he slipped up further that hope was dashed, his cock rocked against Kakashi's teasing him._

 

Jiraiya slowly thrust against his lover's body rubbing their cocks and finally he moved away from the temptation, his beloved gave such provocative cries that his cock now throbbed.  He kissed him then he slid down once more to suck his balls and on the shaft of his arousal as he carefully prepared him.

 

When Jiraiya rose up over him again it was to cradle Kakashi to his body and roll onto his back placing his enthralling lover on top of him, "Slowly... no pain, my cherished one."  Jiraiya cupped his hips ready to stop him if he became too excited. The slight flinch his beloved gave at the head of his erection pushing through the ring of muscles into his body was expected and he held his hips murmuring softly, "You are so incredible, so sexy and amazing, my perfect Myobu." 

 

Kakashi placed kisses over his chest as he gradually slipped down, neither moved for a moment, enjoying the feel of each others bodies.  Then his gorgeous lover kissed and stroked his chest and gave one of his nipples a lick.  Jiraiya's breath hitched, his muscles flexing as he fought his urge to buck at the pleasure.  "Mmmm... I love every touch you give me." 

 

_Kakashi looked up and watched his face as he brushed chakra around his nipple.  Jiraiya gasped, his muscles flexing powerfully as he resisted thrusting, then moaned.  Kakashi lay his head on his beloved's chest, he was not being fair to him.  Jiraiya wouldn't so much as thrust... he was teasing him with no way his lover could get relief.  Kakashi sighed and gave his chest a soft apologetic caress._

 

Jiraiya knew his seductive Myobu was feeling remorse for tempting him but he truly did enjoy his strokes, even if it was difficult to restrain his body from reacting.  "I honestly enjoy your touches my precious beloved."

 

Kakashi looked up and smiled but refrained from using chakra when he continued caressing him.  Jiraiya kissed his way up from his collar bone to his ear, he held his sexy lover's hips still and nibbled gently on the shell sucking on the tip and leaving his partner trembling and moaning, breathless with hunger.  His beloved's wanton howls as his tongue slowly traced a path to the canal had Jiraiya giving soft groans as his cock flushed harder and pounded with need. 

 

Kakashi wailed as Jiraiya's tongue moved away and he blew lightly over the damp surface, his body was shivering in ecstasy as his tongue flicked the sensitive canal and he slowly shifted his hips in careful rocks into his lover's wonderful body.  Then he softly thrust the tip of his tongue in the sensitive  passage and his beloved keened, writhing and crying out in rapture as he climaxed.

 

Jiraiya tried to lift him up off his swollen cock as he teased him through his last spikes of pleasure and felt his Myobu press down resisting it 

 

Kakashi gave a last buck, his need satisfied as he came but still resisted being lifted off his erection. Jiraiya accepted it and lay gently massaging his back and trying to ignore his rapidly growing need to cum as his lover lay on him.  He noted that it was becoming increasingly frequent now for his beloved to wish to 'feel him inside' even when sated.

 

_After a moment he looked up at Jiraiya he made no effort to disguise the longing he felt, "I will never feel you like I do Ibiki, your body thrusting into me..." Kakashi's fingers lightly stroked over his lover's chest as he lay on him, he could feel Jiraiya's engorged flesh in him... "With your other partners you always bottomed?"  He yearned for that connection... their gratified bodies connected, his lover's cum in him..._

 

Jiraiya a bit reluctantly admitted, "No, I have topped in most of my relationships."  He knew where this was going and was not thrilled by it.  His other lovers had been very experienced, they knew how to receive him without injury... and even when careful they often were sore. 

 

Jiraiya waited but his gorgeous Myobu did not say it, _'Why not me?'_ Instead he kissed his chest softly and rested his head on Jiraiya's chest, his fingers lovingly caressing him.  The fact his beloved simply accepted that he would not get what he desired brought a surge of deep love and the urge to find a way to fill his partner's need...

 

Jiraiya lifted him free, this time Kakashi didn't resist but when he drew him up, grabbed the lube and led him into the living room he looked curious and excited.  He sat, drew him down to straddle his thighs, then stroked around over his hips, up his pelvis to his chest, circling a nipple and teasing it to a taut little bud.  "You must tell me if I am hurting you... please." 

 

_Kakashi nodded his heart pounding, as he watched Jiraiya rub lube over his cock, then he kissed him tenderly.  "Only as far as is comfortable... no more ok?"_

_He could barely contain his excitement but tried to keep it under control, he didn't want Jiraiya to change his mind._

 

Jiraiya knew that he was right to do this as he saw the deep love in his beloved's eyes, this meant a lot to him.  He stroked his Myobu's back softly, "Are you sure?  Even if you are careful and do not cause yourself pain, you will be sore after." 

 

Kakashi nodded, "I am sure." 

 

Jiraiya cupped his hips as his slender lover rose over his throbbing length.  "At any time you can tell me to stop, ok?"

 

Kakashi nodded he was trembling slightly, Jiraiya hoped it was excitement not fear.  "Just like before, press and lift until you loosen for me."  It would help that he'd just been inside him, he wouldn't be as tight and the muscles would relax quicker.

 

_Kakashi was elated, his lover would have sex with him the way he'd done with the others in his past!  He pressed lifted and pressed again, his body accepting the wide head easier than before, the pain was little more than mild discomfort with how excited he was.  Slowly he lowered himself, he just wanted to see if he could take all of him in, then he would rise up a bit.  Kakashi placed kisses over Jiraiya's throat, "Can I feel you all the way in me?  I won't move."_

 

Jiraiya studied his eyes then nodded, this was different than when his lover lay on top... his cock could sink deeper in this position....as he grasped his hips firmly, he watched his beloved's face as he allowed his body to slip down to take his cock fully in him.  Kakashi gave soft pants but simply embraced him and placed kisses over his throat. 

 

_The turgid flesh pierced deep within him not quite painful but definitely not something that he could take all of while his partner thrust without pain... at least not yet, but he was determined one day he would.  "Ok.", He rose up a bit and felt Jiraiya's hand wrap around the lower half of his cock to the base so he could safely fuck himself._

 

Kakashi lifted up to the head then dropped down, Jiraiya groaned it felt so good!  The tight grasp stroking his cock... each time his lover rose and dropped it was a bit faster and Jiraiya moaned urgently the astounding pleasure was sweet torture.  His enthralling Myobu's breathless mews of delight and passion teased Jiraiya as much as the exquisite feel of his body.  He resisted his need as long as he could, then panted, "We have to stop I don't want to hurt you when I cum."

 

_He wanted to feel his lover's cum in him so much, to feel his sated length resting inside him.  He wanted to hear him give cries of rapture as his hips pumped into his body... he should not ask.  Jiraiya would not do it, but he couldn't resist the strong yearning he felt._

 

Kakashi whimpered, "Please Jiraiya... cum in me."  His voice was full of longing and guilt, even the look on his face showed that he was resigned to the fact he would be denied what he wanted.

 

Jiraiya groaned, it wasn't the need to cum that was so very painful, it was the acceptance in his beloved's eyes at the certainty he would be refused and he pleaded for Kakashi not to ask."It will hurt you Myobu."

 

"Please." Kakashi begged softly, it was clear he really desired this very much. 

 

Jiraiya relented, but first slowly dropped Kakashi to the base, then he stroked his lover's cock.  The ripple of his beloved's muscles around his throbbing erection as he came brought Jiraiya's orgasm.  He embraced him close and tried not to buck hard, but even though his beautiful lover gave no cry of pain, he knew it hurt when his hips bucked.  Still Kakashi rocked slightly and Jiraiya gasped giving a gentler buck as he completely sated his need.  

 

_Yes, that had hurt... quite a bit, but he didn't regret it. The second buck had not been so bad.  Kakashi relaxed against him, his head on Jiraiya's chest as he caught his breath, then he glanced up and he reached up to caress his partner's face.  "Do you regret this?"_

 

Jiraiya thought about an answer, he wasn't sure... it had felt incredible, he hadn't fucked anyone to completion in a very long time... the feel of his beloved's body grasping his cock as he came was exquisite, but Kakashi would hurt.

 

_Kakashi saw he wasn't going to answer and gave a soft contented sigh, relaxing against his lover's chest,  "Thank you for staying in me as you came, even if I'm sore."  His fingers lightly brushed over Jiraiya's chest,  "I like feeling you still in me..." once more Kakashi looked up, "Is it uncomfortable for you to stay inside me right now?"_

 

Jiraiya stroked his face then kissed him, "No."  He knew without a doubt he had hurt his Myobu when he climaxed, but his lover was relaxed and blissful now. 

 

_Kakashi smiled and lay against him once more, "I like you there." Even though not erect he could feel his lover's cock filling his body, but this was not fair to Jiraiya, he'd tease him and he was certain,  even if aroused, his partner would not fuck him now... possibly never again.  He should not have asked him to stay within him.  This thought brought a wave of sorrow._

 

Jiraiya could see his beloved's face grow sad, "Myobu, what is wrong?"

 

Kakashi looked up to meet his eyes somberly, "You regret this, you will never do this with me again."

 

Jiraiya brushed his fingers tenderly over his cheek, "It felt very good, but I feel guilt that you will be sore."

 

Kakashi quietly replied, "When you had sex with others... were they sore?"

 

"Sometimes... but they were very... experienced." Jiraiya answered carefully.

 

Kakashi looked up somberly, but his eyes held a plea, "You can only become experienced by continuing to do it... I want this, even if sore I want this."

 

Jiraiya caressed his cheek, "Why?"

 

Kakashi's cheeks tinted, it was very sexy, and he tried to explain.  "I like feeling you deep, I like when you cover me, but I want this too."

 

Jiraiya kissed him and grasped his hips, "We will see if you want it after this."  Slowly he lifted his beloved up until the head of his cock left Kakashi's tender ass.  His gorgeous Myobu gave a soft hiss but his eyes were accepting.  Jiraiya set him on his lap letting his lover relax into his chest again as he massaged his back, after he'd loosened his muscles a bit he lifted him off his lap and lay him on his back, the flash of pain in his partner's eyes brought waves of guilt but Jiraiya tried to concentrate only on continuing to loosen his muscles and reduce his pain.

 

_Kakashi had not changed his mind, he wasn't injured just a bit sore.  Jiraiya massaged slowly down the front of his body then kissed his forehead and directed "Turn over."_

_He turned onto his stomach and was surprised when moving brought less pain than it had before.  Jiraiya's fingers worked at his sore muscles until they were loose as he could get them.  Then Jiraiya lay on his back, drew him up into his arms and placed a kiss on his temple as he murmured.  "I love you so much."_

_Kakashi smiled, "I am happy, I need you."_

_Finally Jiraiya grasped his hips and set him on his feet, the ease that he did so was thrilling, his gentleness made all the more wonderful by the fact he was strong enough to do it without effort and yet was so careful with him._

_It was a bit painful to walk to the shower, but the pain was not even close to how greatly he'd hurt in the past from being injured on a mission, stitching his wounds and continuing to pull missions... and this pain brought the happiness of knowing his lover accepted him and got pleasure from him... he came in him!  The knowledge brought a surge of joy._

 

Jiraiya continued to massage his beloved as he washed his body, then turned him toward the shower and repeated the slow massage as he washed the back of his body.  The careful brush of his fingers over his sore entrance brought a flinch although he knew his Myobu had tried not to react.

 

_Kakashi had never imagined the pleasure_ _the sensation of being cared for would bring, it added to his contentment and he cuddled against Jiraiya happily.  Everything was perfect!_

As Jiraiya held his sweet Myobu a serious 'complication' suddenly occurred to him... Kakashi would not be able to hide the fact he was hurting from Ibiki... he'd caused their lover pain, this could shatter his Koishii's trust in him.  He could want him to leave...

 

They dried and dressed, but by the time they were dressed they'd missed walking Ibiki home and they heard him enter.

 

**Ibiki walked into the bedroom and smiled at them, their hair was slightly damp and he knew they'd been having sex.  He embraced beautiful Saiai and felt his muscles clench and spasm in pain... his back, stomach and ass...  A cold chill swept through Ibiki.**

 

Jiraiya could see the moment his Koishii realized what he'd done, his gaze sharpened and he looked up at him fiercely.  Jiraiya was deeply ashamed, he'd done what he promised he'd never do... broke his promise to his lovers and caused Kakashi pain.

 

**Jiraiya's eyes dropped and when they rose they were full of shame.  Ibiki felt so betrayed.  He'd fucked him!  He'd known that if he did he'd hurt Kakashi and he'd done it anyway... he'd swore he'd never hurt them!**

Jiraiya knew he deserved his Koishii's scorn... his anger, but worse than seeing anger on his face he saw how hurt his precious beloved was.  He'd lost his trust.

 

_Kakashi cupped Ibiki's face and urged him to look at him.  "I..."  he wasn't sure how to explain, to say he wanted this would distress his beloved further.  The idea he wished to be hurt... but it wasn't that he wished to be hurt it was... "I want to be free.  I don't want to be limited.  I want to have everything, to be touched and have sex without you and Jiraiya having to hold back..."_

Jiraiya was stunned, of all the words Kakashi could say those were the ones that could bring complete understanding... the ones Ibiki felt himself. 

 

**Ibiki stroked his Saiai's face softly, then looked over at Jiraiya with tenderness, "Koishii... can I hold you?"  It hurt to see the mournful look in his lover's eyes as he glanced up, then Jiraiya's gaze fell once more.**

 

His Koishii may understand why Kakashi had done it but there was no excuse for _him_ , he'd broken his vow.  How could his lover ever trust him again?  He would not want his touch anymore... Would his beloved cringe away if he tried?

 

**Jiraiya silently nodded, his gaze lifted but the shame had not left his eyes.  He walked up and stood near but did not touch Ibiki, his movements were hesitant and he did not reach out for him.  It was like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch him.  Ibiki gathered him close, Kakashi watched Jiraiya's face with worry.**

**Ibiki kissed Jiraiya, "I'm sorry... I was frightened, confused, I knew you would not hurt him.. but he was hurt."**

**Jiraiya nodded in understanding, Ibiki fought down his anxiety and very softly said, "For now... please don't... not in front of me."**

Kakashi stroked Ibiki's face, then his worried gaze returned to Jiraiya before slipping back to Ibiki, it was clear his anxiety growing.  Jiraiya wrapped his arm around his Myobu, drawing him close to them and tried to soothe him with his touch.

 

_He hadn't thought about how his beloved would feel.  What he'd asked for had been very selfish and had caused both his lovers distress.  He'd wanted it so bad that he'd let his desire blind him as to what his partners would feel like._

 

**Ibiki looked in his Saiai's eyes, "I understand.  I don't wish you to stop, I want you to reach the freedom you desire."**

**Then he looked over to meet Jiraiya's eyes, "I understand, you are helping him gain the freedom he desires, just as you are for me."**

**Jiraiya's hand had been gently massaging Kakashi's back as they spoke, he was so compassionate and caring.  How could he think for even a moment that Jiraiya would hurt their partner without there being a very strong reason... and the guilt in his eyes, he had not liked doing it any more than he enjoyed 'frightening' him by pushing at his limitations.  "We are very lucky to have you, we don't ever wish to lose you.  Please don't ever leave."**

 

_Kakashi felt a powerful surge of fear and looked up at Jiraiya with anxiety.  He hadn't even thought that this could have made their partner decide to leave!  "Please stay... always stay."_

_Jiraiya gave him an adoring caress, "I do not wish to ever leave either of you."_

_Ibiki somberly met his eyes, "We will never want you to go.  No matter what happens we will deal with it together."_

**Jiraiya nodded, but his eyes still showed shame and his hand had not stopped massaging Kakashi's back... it reminded Ibiki of the first times Jiraiya had done as he asked and pushed at his restrictions... his Koishii  was hurt and ashamed.**

**Ibiki hugged him, "We are so very lucky to have your love, you are kind and giving, even when it hurts you."  Kakashi still looked at both he and Jiraiya with an anxious gaze... they needed to take a few minutes, lay together and reassure each other before he could take the time to make the evening meal.  Ibiki looked at his partners, "Come lay with me."**

_Kakashi nodded and drew Jiraiya in to lay on the bed, then lay pressed to his side.  What he'd asked for had been wrong, he looked up at Jiraiya and mournfully sighed, "I should not have asked for you to do that.  I hurt both my partners."_

**Ibiki had laid on the other side of Jiraiya and he gave a little smile as his Koishii, rolled on his side and stopped their lover's words with a kiss, "You caused no harm, and you deserve to have your needs met just as Ibiki and I do."**

_Kakashi knew Jiraiya's needs were not met... he was as limited as he and Ibiki were.  For Ibiki it was fear, for himself it was inexperience and Jiraiya..._

_Jiraiya's was not something he could change, but Kakashi swore he'd find a way to 'free' him from his limits, he deserved to have all his needs met as much as he and Ibiki did._

Jiraiya lay on his back once more and both his lovers softly stroked his body, although it excited them all, none of them wished to act on it, this time of comfort was so much more important. 

 

**Even through their meal they remained quietly reassuring each other.  Once more that night Kakashi looked sadly after Jiraiya as he walked out to sleep on the couch, his Saiai looked back at him and he didn't even have to say it.  Ibiki nodded.  It hurt to see him walking out, they wanted him in there with them.**

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

The next morning everything was slowly calming down once more and the morning was almost 'normal' except for the not well hidden guilt in Jiraiya's eyes every time Kakashi showed even a hint of pain. 

 

Ibiki and Kakashi left to go work and Jiraiya resumed writing.  He hoped his Myobu did not have to go on a mission.  He continued to dwell on what he'd done... he'd hurt Kakashi and even if Ibiki did not feel like that was a betrayal of his vow never to hurt them, Jiraiya still felt it was. 

 

Why had he given in?  That was easy, he wanted to give his precious lovers everything they desired... but the pleasure he'd felt now only added to his guilt.  Had he really done it for Kakashi or was he just telling himself that?  It felt so amazing... Had he gave in because he craved the release more than he cared about if it hurt his gorgeous Myobu?

 

Finally Jiraiya couldn't bear sitting in the house with his guilty conscious any longer.  After doing his standard shopping for their evening meal and visiting with Tsunade he found himself with a bit of time before Ibiki would be done for the day.  He did not wish to go home... the irony of calling it home was not lost on him, if frequency of days spent measured what 'home' was then the only place he truly could call home was his room at the inn...

 

He frowned, those were not good thoughts.  No he did not wish to go back to the house, he decided he'd go visit with Iruka on the mission desk.  If Kakashi hadn't pulled a mission then they could go walk with Ibiki back to the house... he really hoped he had not pulled a mission, leaping through the trees would be agonizing.  Jiraiya shook his head in disgust at his lack of restraint. 

 

When he walked into the mission office Iruka informed him that Kakashi was only pulling a 'short duty' in the village and would likely be in very soon to let him know if the 'dilemma' had been solved and be free for the evening. 

 

Jiraiya settled in to wait, Iruka was very busy and then he saw one of the two 'usual helpers' of Tsunade.  Kotetsu was waiting for his friend and the friendly Chunin seemed glad for someone to talk to as he waited, they discussed the usual events of the village and Kotetsu occasionally threw jibes back at his friend as they stood waiting.

 

_Kakashi walked in and 'bristled' as he saw Kotetsu standing a bit too close to Jiraiya exaggeratedly talking, Jiraiya had a smile on his face... Kakashi crossed the room single mindedly focused on the two men.  Kotetsu couldn't have him!_

 

Jiraiya felt his lover walk in but Kotetsu was in the middle of explaining the 'difficulties' of being a runner for Tsunade with humorous exaggerations so he didn't look back.  Kakashi walked up to stand beside him looking at the other Shinobi with a frigid gaze.  Kotetsu hadn't noticed the hostile piercing stare yet,  he had looked over at his teammates woeful lament about having to rewrite  their mission report and he playfully taunted.  "I told you to work on your penmanship!  Maybe you should return to Iruka's class for some lessons!"

 

With the nin distracted Jiraiya looked down at his lover tenderly and crooned, "My Myobu."

 

_Kakashi met his gaze, the love in his eyes was so wonderful.  Jiraiya only looked at Ibiki and him like that, the deep love in his eyes was only for them.  Kakashi relaxed and although he remained closely at his lover's side, it was now more a desire to be near him and not the burning need to keep the other man from taking Jiraiya from them._

 

Jiraiya gave a gentle smile, his Silver Kitsune was becoming more secure, it took Kakashi less time this time to accept the one talking to him was not a threat.  He couldn't wait to be somewhere private and be allowed to embrace him.  He loved his cherished Myobu deeply and didn't want to miss a moment of their time together.

 

_Jiraiya's adoration made the other man's presence, not matter as greatly.  He could see his lover wished to be able to hold him and he wished very much to be held.  Kakashi took Jiraiya's hand and brushed his cheek through the mask._

 

Jiraiya was aware that Kotetsu had turned back to resume his conversation with him and he was sure Kakashi knew too.  The fact he did it anyway was both a indication of how greatly he needed his affection and also a profound gift, expressing emotion for him although in public... Jiraiya still remembered the first time Ibiki had done it... stroking his hand as they walked through the administration building to Tsunade's office that first time.

 

_Kakashi saw the hint of sorrow darken his beloved's eyes and looked over at Kotetsu then up at his partner once more.  Although his gaze when he looked at the other nin was emotionless, his tone was not and he didn't care if the whole office knew, he was worried about Jiraiya.  "We have to go."_

Kotetsu nodded in confusion as Kakashi and Jiraiya walked away.

_Kakashi couldn't fight the pain he felt at seeing sorrow in his lover's eyes, as they passed a shadowed alley he took his beloved's arm and drew him into it.  Standing in the shadows they were only slightly less on display and yet Kakashi immediately embraced Jiraiya and spoke softly, "I don't want to see sadness in your eyes, I have seen too much."  It frightened him and reminded him how easily he could lose Jiraiya again.  So many times he'd seen that sorrow and watched Jiraiya knowing he would leave, he could not bear to lose him again._

 

Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "You are very precious my Myobu, I am very lucky to have your love."  He was very aware this public exposure was distressing to his lover and positioned himself so Kakashi was 'shielded' by his greater mass, anyone walking by would not know it was him. 

 

Although Kakashi's face remained hidden by the mask it was not hard to see his lover's apprehension.  "I need you to love me forever and never leave." 

 

Jiraiya cupped the silk covered cheek and once more vowed, "As long as you and Ibiki want me I will not leave."  His Myobu needed to be somewhere where he could hold him and he felt safe.  He wrapped his arm firmly around Kakashi and made the hand signs.  Kakashi looked surprised as he looked around their living room, then dismissed the astounding ease with which his lover had brought them home and stripped off his mask kissing him passionately.  Although they both were now very aroused, they slowly stroked each other's bodies, adoring caresses of love not just lust.

 

Jiraiya softly admitted, "My gorgeous Myobu, I don't think I could leave even if you wanted me to... the sun does not shine, the world is cold and empty and I live in grey despair without you and Ibiki."

 

_Kakashi understood, he'd lived in that cold darkness most of his life and he could never be able to bear to return to that emptiness.  "I will not let you live in darkness, Ibiki and I need you here."_

 

Jiraiya lead him to the bedroom and kissed his way down his sensual beloved's body as he removed his clothes.  As he lay him down on the bed Kakashi urged him to lay on top of him and Jiraiya drew back slightly, he shook his head, "I cannot." 

 

It would be a few days before his Myobu would stop being in pain.  He still had bouts of guilt at every twinge of pain his lover felt... and his slender partner would want him to do that again.  Knowingly hurt him, he wasn't sure how he could do it, but for now... "Let me take you in my mouth Myobu."

 

_Kakashi could see the guilt in his partner's eyes and sat up to hold him, "I don't want you to do **that** anymore.  I won't ask for you inside me... I should never have asked."  He finished softly, "Right now I wasn't trying to get you to do that,  I just... I wanted to feel you covering me."_

 

Jiraiya caressed his lover's back as he held him, "I will give you anything Myobu."

 

_Kakashi shook his head, "Please... don't 'give' so much.  This caused us all pain...my pain is not as bad as the pain my request caused you and Ibiki.  My pain does not 'hurt' me and make me ashamed... I will not ask for anything you do not wish to give."  Kakashi lay his head against Jiraiya's chest, "I'm sorry."_

 

Jiraiya wrapped his arms protectively around him, "Shhh... it's ok."  He swore his heart skipped a beat then broke as he felt the dampness of Kakashi's tear on his chest and he pleaded.  "Shhh.  Don't, please don't... Myobu, please don't cry, everything is ok.  I promise everything will be ok, we'll just go a bit slower... work on ways to get you everything you need."

 

Kakashi looked up, and cupped Jiraiya's face gently. "I don't want something you do not wish to do.  What about what you need... I want you to get what you need."

 

Jiraiya kissed his temple, "You and Ibiki are all I need, your love is more than I ever thought I'd get and I cherish it."

 

"You have my love forever, I can't ever let you go." Kakashi caressed Jiraiya cheek tenderly.

 

Jiraiya placed loving kisses over his beloved's face and saw his pleasure as he leaned into the affection and closed his eyes blissfully.

 

How could he deny either of his lovers anything they asked for, they were everything to him.  He would find a way to satisfy his Myobu's desires and he was determined he would not express guilt anymore.

 

This was what his precious one wanted, and he just needed to find ways to make it possible without causing strong pain.

 

=======================================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 22**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 22: WHAT I BELIEVE (SKILLET)


	23. NEVER LET ME GO (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 23)

**NEVER LET ME GO (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 23)**

**\---------------------------------------------**

 

_It had been a week since he had insisted Jiraiya cum in him, he'd only hurt a day or two... but he had not asked, and would not ask, to feel his skilled lover inside him.  Jiraiya walked up behind him nuzzling his neck softly, Kakashi whimpered, "Jiraiya!"_

 

Jiraiya smiled at the way his beloved now trembled in desire.  "Do you still want me inside you Myobu?"

 

Kakashi hesitated, then shook his head, "I don't want to hurt you, you don't want to.."

 

"Myobu I will do anything for you..."  He'd seen the longing looks his lover had given him, the desire to take him inside his body was clear in every tender stroke he gave... and in the way he would then draw his hand away and cuddle against him.

 

Kakashi immediately shook his head, "Don't... please.  Don't do anything you do not wish to, do not do things for me that hurt you."

 

Jiraiya was reminded of how he'd pleaded the same thing to Ibiki... to not do things he didn't want for him.   He nodded and gathered his sweet beloved to him, gently cradling him to his body, his heart was so full of love as he looked in his partner's eyes and replied, "No.  I don't like hurting you, but if it gives you the freedom you desire..."

 

_Kakashi shook his head and relaxed into his wonderful lover's arms, what he'd done to both his partners with his selfishness... no, he could not do that again.  He felt Jiraiya's hands lightly massaging him, it felt so good... he drew a deep breath and released it in a sigh.  Everything was ok when he was with his lovers, the warmth of their love made him so happy._

 

Jiraiya could feel the tension seeping away, his Myobu was so precious to him, he wanted to give him everything he wanted.  He had given what happened a lot of thought, he'd doubted why he did it out of guilt, but even if he'd felt pleasure at cumming he had not given in for that reason.  He truly did only wish to fulfill his gorgeous lover's need for a closer connection and that wish had not changed.  Kakashi was right to want honest uninhibited responses from he and Ibiki... to be able to give and get pleasure without being held back.

 

He was determined he would give him that, but just as with Ibiki he did need to be careful.  As much as his lovers wanted to be free of their limits, it just wasn't something that could be done so easily.

 

Kakashi stroked his chest slipping his hand beneath the cloth of his shirt to caress his body gently.  "Mmmm... that feels good Myobu... but I think it would feel even better if we removed all these clothes."

 

Kakashi nodded eagerly, Jiraiya had to smile his lover gave such natural and uninhibited responses...  that was what he longed for in return, to feel like his partner's were truly honestly reacting to him and not holding back out of fear of hurting him.  Jiraiya stripped his beloved's clothes away kneading and kissing his sensual body and listening with delight to his gasps and mews of pleasure and desire.  Softly he purred in his ear, "Myobu, I do wish to feel your body embrace my cock, I am not just doing this for you... you will not hurt me.  Will you take me inside?" 

 

_Kakashi trembled in excitement, but still hesitated before nodding, "I want to feel you."  He trusted Jiraiya, his lover would not lie, and he did wish to feel his partner within him... very much._

Jiraiya kissed his way down his body as he drew the last of his clothes off, "So sexy!  Beautiful Myobu."

Then Jiraiya rose and stripped his own clothes off, Kakashi's eyes rested on his erection for a moment then lifted with a plea that he would not make, but one Jiraiya would respond to.  He lead his beloved over to the couch, he'd already brought lube over in preparation.

 

Kakashi saw the bottle of lube and drew some wrapping his hand around his Jiraiya's swollen length and stroking him slowly.   Jiraiya gasped, then groaned deeply.  "Myobu!  Your touch feels incredible!"

 

As amazing as his touch truly did feel, it was not something that would help him restrain his needs while he did this.  Jiraiya sat on the couch and drew his lover down to straddle his legs.  Kakashi leaned into him passionately kissing him as Jiraiya drew lube and began teasing his body.

 

_He wanted this so very much and tried to relax his muscles to take his partner's fingers in.  Very quickly his body loosened eager for the feel of his touch inside, and he whimpered into their kiss rocking his hips into the gentle thrust.  By the time Jiraiya was pumping three fingers into him his body ached for the feel of his lover inside him._

 

Jiraiya's fingers slipped out and he cupped his hips setting his tempting beloved on his feet and urging him to turn around.

 

_When his partner turned him away, Kakashi looked back at him curiously.  He was a bit confused as his beloved held his hips and drew him back on to his lap, he'd never had sex in this position.  Jiraiya cupped his hips guiding him to raise over his engorged length and very gradually eased him down.  Kakashi gave a breathless cry, the 'pain' of his lover's big cock entering his body was no more than mild discomfort  he wanted him so greatly and his cry was not of pain, it was shocked pleasure._

 

Although Jiraiya was certain it was not pain, he still paused and nuzzled his neck, "You must tell me if I'm causing you any pain at all... please." 

 

_Kakashi nodded and breathlessly replied, "It feels different... good."  Good was an understatement!  the way Jiraiya's arousal was rubbing along the front of his passage was breathtaking and as he neared the base he gave a shocked cry of ecstasy... the deep place!  The spot his lover had guided him to rub against when having sex with Ibiki... his cock rested so near!_  

 

Jiraiya softly purred in his ear, "Try not to cum my Myobu."  His tone was slightly amused he knew it would be impossible for his lover to resist long... he was going to tease him greatly. 

 

_Jiraiya's fingers feathered chakra over his swollen flesh and Kakashi gave a wanton cry, his hips bucking into the stimulation, then gasped and whined at the astounding sensation of Jiraiya's cock moving in his body at the rock of his hips into his beloved's hand.  He panted urgently, "More please!"_

_Jiraiya's hand enclosed his cock his thumb brushing a light stroke of chakra over the head, but did not move.  Kakashi rocked into the tease and soon was steadily bucking into the temptation fucking himself slowly on his partner's erection._

 

Jiraiya could feel how his lover's body clasped his cock and groaned softly at the tease.  He could not thrust , especially not like this, this was a position to help his beloved to 'adjust' to his size.  If he was determined to 'become experienced' Jiraiya wanted to find ways to allow that without pain... or at least very little.  This was giving him pleasure without thrusting.... and a nearly overwhelming strain of Jiraiya's control.

 

Kakashi neared his release and Jiraiya's  thumb rested at the base blocking him from cumming, but still teasing the flushed head with gentle chakra pulses.  His Myobu howled, his body tensing around Jiraiya's erection and spasming in a dry orgasm.  Jiraiya lifted his thumb and his hand stroked his lover's cock as his other cupped his hip keeping him from rocking, he was too excited now and would hurt himself.   He skillfully caressed his beloved's arousal and felt the much stronger draw of his partner's body as he was allowed to cum.  But that was not nearly as great of a test of his restraint as the sounds of rapture his lover gave, keening and moaning breathlessly as his orgasm surged powerfully through him.

 

When Kakashi was sated Jiraiya drew him back to cradled against his chest and kissed his shoulders, his smaller lover would still be sore although not as greatly as if he'd thrust into him.  Jiraiya placed a kiss on his neck and warned, "You will be sore when I lift you off me."

 

Kakashi looked back, his eyes held a touch of guilt, "Can I stay with you in me for a few minutes?" 

 

_He knew he should not ask, he'd teased Jiraiya greatly, and his lover could not get release, he would not thrust into him not even buck as he came._

_Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "Yes Myobu."_

_"I'm teasing you."  Kakashi replied.  Not only did Jiraiya not like doing this but he got no pleasure, by now his cock was probably throbbing painfully._

 

Jiraiya nodded, "But the enjoyment I get from holding you and that you get from feeling me in you makes it worth the discomfort." 

 

At his reassurance the worry left his beautiful beloved's eyes and he lay back against him contently, "I love you Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya felt a rush of pleasure much greater than any he could get from an orgasm at his incredible Myobu's words.  He often said he needed him, but he'd said love... he loved him.  It felt so good!  "I love you Kakashi, hearing that makes me very happy."

 

Kakashi opened his eyes and his beautiful bi-colored gaze met Jiraiya's, softly he said.  "I don't say it enough."  His tone was apologetic.

 

 Jiraiya kissed his temple and replied, "I know that you do." 

 

Kakashi caressed his arm that was wrapped around his waist, "I still need to say it... for you to believe it."

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his throat,  "You are so very precious to me Myobu." 

 

Kakashi gave a little smile, "That makes me happy."  He gave Jiraiya's arm another light stroke then added, "I should get off you now."

 

Jiraiya cupped his hips and slowly lifted his beloved up off his aching cock, although Kakashi made no sound he felt his partner's flinch as the head of his erection left his tight body, it bothered him greatly that it hurt him.  His gorgeous lover turned to face him and even that caused him a small flash of pain.

 

_Kakashi could see the distress on Jiraiya's face and he stroked his chest, "This means a lot to me... I'm sorry you don't like it."_

 

Quickly Jiraiya hid his reaction and gave a gently teasing smile, "Oh I like it..."  his smile faded leaving only a deep love in his eyes and he cradled his beloved's cheek, "It bothers me that I make you sore." 

 

Kakashi cuddled into him, "I want this... thank you."

 

Jiraiya kissed his head, "I will give you anything." 

 

"You give too much.  I want to... give you more."  Kakashi caressed his chest softly.

 

Jiraiya tilted his chin up, "You give me something I cherish more than anything in the world, your love.  You and Ibiki's love is all I need and all I could ever wish for."

 

_Touching his chest reminded him how his experienced lover reacted to chakra strokes, the shocked pleasure he showed.  He looked down at his partner's rigid length then up to look in his eyes as he swept teasing brushes of chakra over the engorged flesh.  Jiraiya moaned loudly, and breathlessly praised, "Ah!  Myobu, your touch!  So wonderful!"_

_Kakashi was delighted and his touch easily mimicked the tease his lover had done earlier to him._

_Jiraiya's body flushed with rapture, he cried out breathlessly fevered with ecstasy and then bucked as he came.  Kakashi looked down at his lover's cock, he wanted to taste him, but this was about what his beloved needed not him.  Kakashi's finger's slipped down further sending tempting feathers of chakra over his lover's balls and Jiraiya moaned bucking hard once more.  Kakashi dropped his hand from his gratified flesh, both their needs were now satisfied.  Jiraiya caressed him gently and praised.  "You are incredible."_

_He'd given his lover pleasure!  He'd brought him release, although not inside him this time, he could wait for that.  He was delighted, and kissed him passionately._

_They went to shower and once more Jiraiya's hands skillfully loosened his muscles, but he didn't really hurt, ache yes but not any real strong feeling of pain._

_His thoughts dwelled on the times he'd used chakra on Jiraiya... his beloved seemed surprised and delighted by it.  He looked back at his lover who was now tenderly massaging his back down to his ass and asked,  "You like when I touch you with soft brushes of chakra.  How did your other lovers give you pleasure with it?"_

 

"Yes, I love it." Jiraiya slipped his arms around his Myobu and gently embraced him, he did not press against his lover's sore ass and was surprised as his lover leaned fully into him.  It was clear his beautiful beloved did not hurt badly and he was relieved.  He placed a light kiss on his partner's shoulder and answered his question.  "I have never had a lover able to do it, only I to them."

 

Kakashi gave a ecstatic smile, "I give you something others could not?" 

 

Jiraiya nodded and hugged his slender frame to him, Kakashi looked delighted, and he purred in his ear. "You are extraordinary in so many ways my precious Myobu." 

 

Kakashi gave a soft whimper and his cock flushed hard once more. 

 

Jiraiya released him and slipped around to in front of his sensual beloved, slowly he sank to his knees kissing his way down to just above his partner's arousal.  He looked up and watched his lover's face as his fingers brushed lightly over the sensitive strip of skin behind his balls.  Kakashi shivered, his eyes dark with desire as Jiraiya fondled his balls and licked up the shaft of his cock.

 

_Kakashi's hand rested on his lover's shoulder bracing himself, his legs weak with ecstasy.  Jiraiya enclosed and sucked on just the head, teasing the hole with gentle probes of his tongue.  Kakashi whined and leaned into the temptation of his mouth, wantonly mewing._

Jiraiya's hand left his balls both brushing up his thighs to rest on his ass, he watched for any sign this was painful but only felt his beloved shiver in pleasure.  Softly his hands stroked over the firm cheeks, then cupped his hips encouraging his quivering lover as he dropped quickly to the base. 

_Kakashi howled in delight and feverishly thrust into the nirvana of his lover's mouth, crying out breathlessly as he neared his climax.  He gasped as he felt his partner's finger rest at the base and gave a buck but was denied release and he keened in rapture as his body contracted in a dry orgasm.  Then the restriction lifted and Jiraiya drew powerfully on the engorged length, Kakashi wailed the ecstasy was so strong he closed his eyes as he bucked until his body's demands were satisfied._

 

Jiraiya slipped up to cradle his weary lover to him, Kakashi wrapped his arms around his waist laying his head against his chest.  Jiraiya gave a shocked cry of pleasure as his partner's finger traced chakra down between the cheeks of his ass and teased his rim with stronger pulses.  Jiraiya moaned rapturously as the pulses slowly grew until he thrust against his lover and came.

 

_Kakashi sighed happily and cuddled into his beloved, he was tempted to touch him more but he was a bit sore and tightening his muscles as he climaxed reminded him that further 'activity' was not a good idea.  No, he did not wish to be sore, he didn't want to see the guilt and worry on his lovers faces._

_Kakashi looked up and brushed his fingers over Jiraiya's cheek, "I'm happy... I love you."  The expression on Jiraiya's face they way his arms enclosed him a bit firmer, that said so much... his beloved needed to hear it, he must tell him a lot more... he looked so happy._

 

"I love you my perfect Myobu."  Jiraiya replied huskily, he couldn't hide the joy it brought him every time his gorgeous lover said it.  They remained holding each other a bit longer then Jiraiya eased back slightly and finished washing his beloved then himself.

 

They dried and dressed, then went out to meet their lover.  Jiraiya saw no pain in Kakashi's movements, although he knew he was sore it wasn't enough that he could not hide it.  But then he'd had a lot of experience hiding his pain, years of stitching up his wounds and continuing missions.  It was a sad thought.

 

Kakashi glanced up at him and his step faltered, his eyes lost the indifference and turned worried.  Jiraiya softly soothed, "I'm ok Myobu."  Kakashi nodded and after a few moments his expression returned to indifferent once more, all except his eyes, they looked uneasy and Jiraiya felt bad for worrying him.

 

Once in Ibiki's office he hugged Kakashi and once again reassured, "I am ok, I promise." 

 

Kakashi nodded and they turned their attention to Ibiki, he was finishing putting documents away but Jiraiya could see he had spotted Kakashi's distress.

 

**Ibiki had seen the worried look on his Saiai's face, he had placed his papers in the safe and walked over to look at them with concern.  "Is everything ok?"**

**Kakashi nodded, Jiraiya smiled and then reassured, "I had a sad thought as we walked over but everything is ok."**

**Ibiki nodded and stroked Jiraiya's cheek, "I love you Koishii then he kissed Kakashi tenderly.**  

 

Jiraiya could see his lovers were not going to stop worrying until he explained.  He nuzzled his Myobu's hair affectionately, "I was just sad thinking about how often you were in pain, alone with no one to care for you." 

 

Kakashi hugged him and corrected, "But I have two people now, that's over."

 

Ibiki embraced them both, "All those bad times are over now." He looked up at Jiraiya, "and we will never let you go." 

 

Kakashi nodded.   "Let's go home."

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

**Once home, Ibiki prepared the meal while Kakashi and Jiraiya watched with interest, occasionally stepping forward to cut some vegetables for him or stir a pot.  This life was everything he'd ever wished for and more than he could ever have believed he'd get.**

 

Jiraiya felt content, Ibiki looked so at peace, and Kakashi lay back against him as they watched their lover.  This really did feel like home, he wanted this so much, it was going to devastate him when they asked him to go.  On the plus side they had made no indication yet that they were 'losing interest' or feeling uncomfortable with him touching their life partner.  

 

As Jiraiya served the meal both his lover's watched him, their concerns plain on their faces.  "I wish to, I promise that is why it do this, I like to serve you your meal."  Both men nodded, relief and adoration now replaced the concern in their eyes.   He had to admit at first he'd just wanted to be as 'needed' as possible, to make them wish for him to stay, but he really did enjoy it and that was why he still did it.

 

They ate quietly, Jiraiya no longer sat on the opposite side of the table, he sat beside Ibiki... and sometimes Kakashi.  He felt like he belonged, but even still he knew it could not last.  Although his lovers said 'forever', it simply was not possible to love him forever and the day would come when they asked him to leave.  He was a guest, temporary.

 

_Kakashi looked over at Ibiki, he saw his worried expression matched how he felt.  Jiraiya looked so sad, he'd stopped eating and the reason for his sadness was clear by the way he glanced over at the couch.  This had to end, he and Ibiki had discussed it and agreed, tonight they'd talk to Jiraiya._

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

After their meal, Jiraiya cleared the table, and his partners began washing the dishes.  As Jiraiya walked in from wiping down the table he saw Ibiki embrace Kakashi from behind and looked away, he swore he wouldn't show guilt any more but... Jiraiya felt like cringing as he said very softly, "He's sore, I fucked him."

 

**Ibiki looked back to see Jiraiya looking away, even with his face averted it was clear he was uneasy.  Kakashi looked at him, then they walked over and enclosed Jiraiya between them.**  

 

Kakashi nuzzled his throat, "You did not fuck me, you gave me pleasure.  You are not harming me.  Sore muscles are normal for a nin.  Its different muscles that are sore but just sore muscles."

 

Jiraiya looked at Ibiki but he did not seemed disturbed by the knowledge he'd... fucked his lover and Kakashi was sore... Jiraiya's distress eased slightly.

 

**Ibiki caressed his back and reassured, "I want you to help our lover get everything he yearns for.  You will not upset me."  He saw his Koishii's relief, that was part of the problem.  Jiraiya was afraid he'd upset him, it was understandable after how he'd reacted the first time.  "Come, the dishes are done lets go to the bedroom, I want to hold the two men I love."**

**They went to the bedroom, stripped and lay on his bed.  They all knew better than to assume they would not wish to touch each other intimately.  He and Kakashi lay on their sides cupping Jiraiya and lightly stroking him.  Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "You are so important to us, we love you and need you... we value the sacrifices you make to bring us the freedom we desire."**

 

_He knew it may make Jiraiya nervous, but still slipped up to lay on top of him.  Jiraiya stroked his face, Kakashi gave a happy sigh and  lay his head on his beloved's chest.  From where he lay he could feel both his lovers, Jiraiya's arm embraced him and Kakashi caressed Ibiki._

 

Jiraiya was glad he'd trusted his sensual Myobu and not grabbed him when he'd shifted up to lay on top of him.  Jiraiya was erect and for a moment he thought... no, he'd been right to trust he would not.  He could see Ibiki was aroused and feel Kakashi's rigid length pressed between them, but neither man seemed bothered by it... an advantage of having sex so frequently, at this time there was no urgency.

 

_Jiraiya massaged Kakashi as he and Ibiki touched, still on top of him, Kakashi squirmed slightly and his cock flushed harder.  Clearly his amazing lover had not been aware of where his fingers had worked their way to, but the small squirm had immediately caught his attention and Jiraiya's hand stilled._

 

He'd been caressing Kakashi's ass... but his squirm was not of pain it was pleasure.  Ibiki smiled at their seductive lover's obvious delight and then met Jiraiya's eyes, "He's so sexy." 

 

Jiraiya nodded his hands gently continuing.  He was a bit concerned Kakashi would want to be fucked, but even as he mewed and squirmed he did not show any indication he wished to have intercourse.

 

_Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya, "I want to suck you."  He looked over at Ibiki to see if his words upset him but he nodded.  He looked up at Jiraiya again and his lover stroked his cheek as he replied, "Yes Myobu, I would like that."_

_Kakashi slipped down as his partner spread his legs for him, he gave a delighted mew and lay between.  He licked Jiraiya's balls and heard him gasp at the surge of pleasure.  His fingers stroked his lover's pelvis, the  loud moan Jiraiya gave tempted him and he wrapped his hand around the turgid flesh drawing on it slowly and listening to him._

_Kakashi felt a thrill at every cry he got from his experienced lover and was delighted he was giving him strong pleasure.  When Ibiki started hungrily kissing Jiraiya, Kakashi slid up to suck on the head of his cock as his hand slipped up and down on the rigid length._

 

Jiraiya was in ecstasy at the caress of his Koishii's hands, his passionate kiss and the glorious pleasure of his Myobu's hands and mouth.  He felt Ibiki flinch then relax and wondered what Kakashi had done, whatever it was he hoped he'd continue, he had accepted it!

 

_Kakashi was tempted by Ibiki's erection and stroked it softly, as his tongue teased the silky skin of Jiraiya's cock... their cocks were so different and both were enthralling!  He wanted to lick Ibiki's arousal too but he hesitated.  He'd felt his beloved flinch when he'd touched him... would he flinch again?_

_Kakashi released Jiraiya's swollen length and slid up over Jiraiya further, the head of his cock rubbed against his rim... tempting, but no, his muscles were sore and that would definitely tense the wrong ones._

_As he moved up, placing kisses over Jiraiya stomach, his erection brushed over his lover's balls and he heard Jiraiya moan into the kiss with Ibiki.  Kakashi gave in and rocked for a moment rubbing his cock against his lover, then wrapped a hand around Jiraiya's shaft once more and tentatively he licked Ibiki's turgid length._

_Ibiki broke the kiss and groaned, "Saiai!"_

_Kakashi felt a rush of pleasure, he was teasing both his partners... soon they would fuck!  The idea thrilled him and he renewed his efforts to enflame their lust until they urgently fucked.  His mouth enclosed the head of Ibiki's cock sucking and flicking his tongue over it as his other hand stroked Jiraiya's cock._

 

**Ibiki was growing desperate to feel his Koishii's body but was reluctant to move away from his Saiai's wonderful mouth.**  

 

Jiraiya panted, "Myobu!"  Jiraiya was so aroused he shook,  Kakashi released Ibiki's tempting length and slipped off to lay beside Jiraiya, but then his Myobu's finger teasingly traced his nipple with a chakra stroke and Jiraiya bucked softly, groaning at the depth of his need.  Immediately he looked at Ibiki concerned it may have distressed his Koishii, but when he looked into Ibiki's eyes he saw no distress only desire. 

 

Kakashi drew his finger away and his eyes filled with excitement as Ibiki rose up over Jiraiya.  Watching with evident delight as Jiraiya wrapped his legs around his waist and met his thrust eagerly.  They both moaned at the glorious sensation and urgently began fucking.

 

_Kakashi was so excited he was trembling, he'd done that!  He'd made his lovers fevered with lust!  Their cries of rapture were so sexy!  He wished he could caress Ibiki's ass and feel his muscles as he fucked Jiraiya, but he knew that was a bad idea.  He would be frightened by his touch, the thought was very sobering, he never wanted to frighten his beloved.  Still he delighted in watching them, listening to their pleasure._

 

**Jiraiya drew Ibiki closer and softly murmured. "Kakashi".  Ibiki glanced over, it was clear his Saiai wished to touch him, that was not a good idea but he could touch Jiraiya and he replied to his Koishii.  "I want you on top."**

**As Ibiki rose off Jiraiya and lay down on the bed he was aware of the joy on Kakashi's face.  Then his experienced partner pressed down and ecstasy surged through him.  Ibiki wrapped his arms around his extraordinary beloved bucking up into the rock of his lover's hips.**

 

_Kakashi was surprised and delighted as Ibiki stilled and rose off Jiraiya, then he lay down on the bed and their partner slipped up over him pressing down on to his erection.  Then Jiraiya gasped, "Kakashi, touch me please!"_

_Kakashi ecstatically moved down to stroke over his ass watching Ibiki's cock thrusting into it and giving excited shivers.  Then he traced the stretched flesh and heard Jiraiya give a cry of ecstasy, Kakashi watched his partners a moment  then sent a small pulse of chakra over the area._

_Jiraiya and Ibiki gave a fevered cry of rapture... at his touch!  The thought brought him joy, he was doing for them what they did for him, giving them strong pleasure._

_He could see they were nearing their orgasm and Jiraiya rose to seated, rocking rapidly on their lover's cock.  Kakashi loosely enclosed Jiraiya's arousal and his skilled lover gave ecstatic moans, every rock forward fucking his hand... exactly like he'd teased him!  Kakashi brushed chakra over the flushed head and heard both his lover's loud cries of rapture as they came._  

 

Jiraiya lay down on Ibiki panting at the intensity of his orgasm,  he knew his Koishii had also came hard, the buck up filled him and he delighted in the feel of his lover's cock in his slick passage.  Jiraiya looked over at Kakashi... this was what his Myobu had wanted so much.  This feeling of competition, of his lover's cum in him, his sated flesh resting in him as they enjoyed the last waves of pleasure. 

 

He could not feel guilt about 'fucking' his beautiful partner, not when he was giving his beloved something he desired so greatly.  Jiraiya kissed Ibiki, his Koishii had not been upset that Kakashi was sore... what he was doing was right.

 

Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's back, "Koishii I want to watch you suck our sexy lover's cock."

 

Jiraiya was surprised by Ibiki's words, he wished to watch?  He nodded and rose off his partner's sated length.  Kakashi mewed as Jiraiya's fingers brushed lightly over his arousal, "Myobu, you are so incredible."  He urged Kakashi to lay down and straddled his legs, a tease deserved another tease, Jiraiya's weight rested on his own knees so although he was pinning him his weight was not resting on his slender lover.

 

It wasn't really a tease, but it would seem like it, Kakashi would not be able to buck.  His muscles would only be made more sore if he did.  Jiraiya teased his partner's erection with skillful brushes of chakra that tempted without providing the friction his lover wanted, he could feel his thigh muscles jump as he tried to thrust into the desired touch.  When his Myobu was crying out urgently, Jiraiya slipped down further, his upper body now resting on his beloved's thighs as he took him in his mouth.

 

**Ibiki watched he wasn't completely sure it would not make him uneasy but that was a chance he was willing to take to watch his lover's pleasure, there was no doubt Jiraiya was getting great pleasure from it and he found himself fascinated by his Koishii's 'tease' of their partner.  The experienced lover was keeping their lover from bucking... even as he quickly brought him to his orgasm and teased him until Kakashi quivered too sated to cum, his Koishii had remained gently pinning his legs.  He had been keeping their partner from making his muscles even more sore.  They were very lucky to have Jiraiya, he was everything they needed in every way.**

 

_Jiraiya lay beside him now, kissing his chest lightly.  "Are you hurting Myobu?"_

_Yes it had tensed the muscles and made the sore muscles ache, but the pleasure was well worth it.  "Not hurting, a bit sore but not bad."_

_Jiraiya smiled and kissed him, "We'll wait a couple days for your muscles to stop aching and then we can do more."_

_Kakashi gave a delighted smile, he'd thought Jiraiya would be reluctant, but after the reassurance in the kitchen he'd accepted that it wasn't wrong._

_"Yes."  Kakashi replied and stroked Jiraiya's cheek, "I love you."_

_Jiraiya looked so touched, his eyes full of adoration, "I love you beautiful Myobu."_

_Yes, he definitely had to tell Jiraiya **much** more often, he still didn't believe it was forever._

_Ibiki had lay down beside Kakashi and he smiled, "I think we should shower."  Although he said it he remained beside him a few minutes more tenderly caressing him.  Kakashi closed his eyes blissfully enjoying their touches before all three men got up and went to shower._

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  

 

**After their shower Ibiki and Kakashi slipped sleep pants on and they all lay softly stroking each other until they got tired.  When his Koishii rose, Ibiki gently caught his hand.  "Jiraiya we want you to stay in here."**

**Jiraiya shook his head, "I really shouldn't."**

**"Please stay."  Ibiki wanted to ask something more but he knew Jiraiya would say no, this at least was a step towards it.**

 

Jiraiya couldn't deny his lover's plea, "I will stay, I'll sleep on the floor."  He grabbed his blanket laid it out and lay down upon it, a few hours later he was glad they'd insisted.  His Koishii was having a bad dream, his beloved's rough breathing was still soft and hard to detect, the dream was just starting,  but after living with him it was clear as a bell, "I am beside you, always..." 

 

**Ibiki woke and heard his Koishii, what he spoke was now becoming very familiar. "I will not allow anyone hurt you."  It brought him comfort and made the dreams less 'real'.**

**Each time it had gradually took less time for Ibiki to want his lover's calming touches, "Will you lay beside me?  Both of you, I need to feel you beside me."**

**His partners lay on the bed and Ibiki immediately drew them near, when the dream had not escalated too greatly it was easier for him to 'recover', to ground himself in the present once more.  Ibiki quietly asked, "Please touch me."  The wonderful men he loved caressed him gently.**

 

As they all grew tired once more Jiraiya and Kakashi slipped from the bed.  His Myobu almost hesitantly caught Jiraiya's arm before he could lay down.  

 

"I want you to sleep in the bed beside me."  Kakashi spoke softly, as if afraid he would say no... and he was right to feel that way, Jiraiya wanted to say no. 

 

Ibiki added, "We both want you to sleep there.  I want you to continue to help me overcome my dreams.  You will not hurt me by laying in bed with him."

 

"Koishii... I should not, if you wish I will continue to sleep on the floor nearby but..."  He couldn't sleep beside his Myobu, not only because it would hurt his Koishii but also... the memory of sleeping beside his Angels, everyone of them, that had been one of the hardest memories to bear.  The memory of  sleeping with his beloved cradled in his arms and knowing they were gone and he'd never feel that bliss again.

 

Kakashi astutely cut to the root of the problem, "You will stay forever, we will love you forever, you cannot leave."

 

Ibiki's tone took on a soft pleading tone, "Accept your place beside us Koishii.  I know I don't deserve your trust, but I will do everything I can to get it back.  Jiraiya, please don't ever leave us again, we can't bear to live without you." 

 

Jiraiya's heart melted at the plea, his beloved didn't believe he could 'forgive him' but he had not done anything wrong.  Neither of them ever meant to hurt the other and he'd hurt Ibiki many times.

 

Jiraiya returned to his side and stroked his face, "I will never leave, even if there comes a day you wish it, I cannot leave.  Living without ever seeing you and Kakashi would not be living, it would be Hell." 

 

Jiraiya met his Koishii's eyes seriously, "I have said I would stay by you always.  So many times both to you and to myself... So many times swore that I would not leave.  But I did.  If you can forgive that, then why would you think I cannot forgive you for the terrible mistakes in our past... Forgive all the times we have hurt each other.  Can you believe me when I say I will never leave you again?"  Jiraiya glanced over at Kakashi and held out his hand, his precious Myobu rose and took it.  Jiraiya drew him over to sit on Ibiki's bed. "I will not leave either of you."

 

Ibiki didn't have time to answer, before Kakashi quietly admitted, "I'm afraid.  I've lost everyone and been alone.  I know you both have too, I will trust you Jiraiya, I will believe you will not leave."

 

Jiraiya's heart melted and he stroked his face tenderly, "I promise I will never leave, I will never betray your trust."  He looked in Ibiki's eyes seriously, "Or yours.  I will not leave."

 

Ibiki replied, "We will never let you go, no matter what happens in the future we will handle it together."

 

"Sleep beside me."  Kakashi asked again.

 

Jiraiya nodded, slipping into Kakashi's bed with him was a bit awkward.  He kept looking nervously at his Koishii, he did not want to hurt him, but his beloved looked happy and Jiraiya relaxed. 

 

**Kakashi fell asleep and then so did Jiraiya, Ibiki listened to their slow deep breaths and felt a contentment stronger than any he had ever felt before.  This was the way it was supposed to be, it did not take long before he slept too.**

 

\---------------------------

 

**Morning remained the same as any other and yet it was different, the security of his lover's promise to never leave wiped away all those doubts that had haunted him.  It was like the sun finally broke out from behind a cloud, bringing happiness and a feeling like everything could be handled.**

 

Jiraiya kissed both of his lovers as they paused at the door.  Ibiki caressed his cheek, "Kakashi has a mission tonight."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he knew technically Ibiki was not supposed to talk about it, but his beloved refused to keep anything from him... it was an exquisite feeling, his beloved's trust.

 

"Only one night, he'll be back about noon."  Ibiki added.

 

Kakashi nodded, he was already a bit quieter, his mind dwelling on the mission.  After they had left Jiraiya sat down to write, tonight he and Ibiki could have leftovers of the previous days meal.  Jiraiya felt a rush of pleasure, so much had changed overnight... laying on the bed beside his gorgeous Myobu gave this a sense of permanence.  Although he knew it would end, for now he would hope.

 

His lovers truly did believe they would love him forever.   Either way he would love them forever and protect them.  Just as he promised he'd never let anyone hurt either of his loved ones and he would never leave the village again.  He would deal with them wishing him to 'give them their space' when it happened not dwell on it and let it take the joy from this perfect dream.

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki thought about the night before with joy, with the love of both his partners he felt confident that even his restrictions were a problem they could handle together.  He was more determined than before that he would reach a point where his lovers would not have to be careful with him... this was how Kakashi felt too.  They would keep working on solving everything together.**

 

\--------------------------------

 

When Ibiki walked out of the ANBU building he surprised Jiraiya by taking his hand and drawing him into a loving kiss.

 

It felt so good, and as Jiraiya drew back he teased his beloved affectionately, "Keep that up and I won't be able to walk Koishii." 

 

**Ibiki refused to let his feelings about his partner be hidden any longer, it did not matter who watched.  Jiraiya made him happy and he loved him deeply, he needed to show him that every moment he could.  Show his Koishii how greatly he cherished his love and always would.  "I love you Jiraiya."**

 

Jiraiya smiled and when Ibiki stepped back he was thrilled as his beloved took his hand as they walked towards home... this was so wonderful!

 

\-----------------------------------

 

When they walked in the door Jiraiya nuzzled his beloved, "You don't have to cook..." the rest of his words were lost beneath a surge of passion at his lover's quiet groan of pleasure.  Ibiki's scars had become  quite used to stimulation and his breath brushing over the ones on his throat had aroused him. 

 

Ibiki embraced Jiraiya close, he showed no sign he was uncomfortable with the feel of Jiraiya's erection against him.  Jiraiya licked and kissed the tender scars and listened to his beloved's soft moans of desire. 

 

**Ibiki wanted his Koishii so much, but he also wanted to move towards a greater freedom and as he stepped back he took his lover's hand and brought him to the bedroom.  "I want to take off your clothes."**

**Jiraiya nodded, his eyes full of love as he dropped his arms to his sides.**

**Ibiki was determined this was something he would start doing, his reluctance something he could move past.  Slowly he stroked over Jiraiya's chest hearing his low delighted mews, "Talk to me Koishii."**

**"You hands are incredible, I love the way you touch me..." Jiraiya encouraged, although a bit breathless his words were full of love.**

**Ibiki had removed his partner's shirt and his hands caressed over his beloved's bare skin before sliding down to his pants and brushing his fingers over his cloth covered erection.  Jiraiya closed his eyes and moaned, "It feels so good."**

**Ibiki felt a spike of pleasure at his words and he unfastened his lover's pants, his hands slipping in the back to cup his ass.  Jiraiya groaned softly, his breathing sped and he looked passionately in his eyes.  "I love you Koishii."**

**Ibiki slid his hands back to Jiraiya's hips and drew his pants down, although he wished he could look at his lover's cock he averted his gaze, and continued down to draw them off.**

 

"Koishii, you are so incredible, I love you so much."  Jiraiya saw his beloved's anxiety fade at his words. 

 

As Ibiki rose, Jiraiya took his lover's hand bringing it back down to brush over his erection, then moaned in delight as his beloved's hand remained and caressed his balls, then up his cock.  Excitement flared in Ibiki's eyes at the lusty cries of pleasure.

 

**Jiraiya's moans of ecstasy as he touched him aroused him so greatly all thought of anything but how sexy his partner was were swept away.  His hand continued teasing Jiraiya as he trembled and moaned.  Ibiki looked down at the swollen length as he stroked his lover and listened to his beloved's cries grow fevered with need, he wanted to hear him cry out in rapture at his touch.**

**Ibiki continued stroking until Jiraiya arched into his hand and keened in ecstasy as he came, Ibiki looked at the damp flesh as he traced the sensitive head.   His lover gasped and his cock gave another small jump as he was teased further.**

**Ibiki released his cock and looked up into Jiraiya's eyes the passion and love in them made him desire so much more than the limited ways he could touch his partners.  He wanted to be able to touch them everywhere, to kiss all of their bodies and hear the pleasure in their cries.  "Koishii, please remove my clothes."**

 

Jiraiya nodded, he stroked and caressed him without hesitation, just as he had done for his other lovers.  Ibiki was strong, there was no need to be cautious.  "Koishii you feel so good!" 

 

**Jiraiya's mouth teased his throat and as his kisses moved down his chest Ibiki realized he'd removed his shirt.   The brush of his hands on his waist and the relief of the tight fabric covering his engorged length was the only indication his beloved had moved lower.  But Ibiki felt a chill when he felt his lover's hands slip over his ass as he drew his pants down.**

 

Jiraiya knew that had frightened his Koishii a bit, but continued without pause, kissing down his stomach and over his pelvis as he drew his pants down and then off.  As he rose to his feet his hands stroked up the front of Ibiki's legs, he could not touch the backs of his knees, not right now.  That would be too much for him to handle at that moment

 

Then Jiraiya's hand enclosed and drew on his Koishii's arousal as he slid his hand over his lover's hip to caress his ass lightly.  He felt the jump of Ibiki's muscles as he flinched but then he relaxed and his muscles didn't tighten. Jiraiya drew back and took his hand bringing him to the bed.  "Please lay." 

 

Although he looked a bit nervous he did and Jiraiya slipped up over him, he was grateful he did not have an erection.  His Koishii should be a bit more ready next time and they could possibly try that.  Jiraiya kissed the tender scars from his ear slowly down his body.  He licking his beloved's small nipples and teasing the tight buds with flicks of his tongue that had his lover groaning in delight, he covered one then the other giving them gentle sucks and he heard Ibiki's breath catch at the pleasure. 

 

He continued down licking, over his stomach and the sensitive skin of his pelvis before his lips moved slowly over to his partner's erection.  He sucked on the shaft but did not touch the flushed head, enflaming his lover's urgent need.  His hand enclosed Ibiki's cock stroking , watching him until his lust was nearly overwhelming. 

 

He remained licking over the tender flesh of his pelvis as his hand circled the head of Ibiki's cock and he encouraged his lover to lift his ass slightly.  Ibiki was highly aroused but not fevered to a point that he would not be fully aware what Jiraiya was doing... what he wanted _him_ to do. 

 

Ibiki hesitated then raised his hips a bit, his body now tensed.  Jiraiya dipped his mouth  to lick and suck lightly at his beloved's balls, teasing the swollen length of his cock with feathers of his fingers.   When his Koishii was relaxed and moaning urgently once more his hands moved further down and slipped beneath the cheeks of his ass coaxing Ibiki with kisses over his inner thighs.  His beloved would have to raise his hips a bit more, Jiraiya would not insist or tease him into it, he needed to choose to receive the strong pleasure he knew Jiraiya could give him. 

 

**Ibiki knew what his partner wanted, but he wasn't sure he could do it, offer himself to his lover.  Jiraiya wanted him to trust...**

**Trust like Jiraiya had trusted _him_ time after time as he broke his heart.  Yes, he wanted his precious Koishii's touch, he trusted him.**

 

The hesitation was a slight bit longer then Ibiki raised his hips, but more profoundly it wasn't that he'd choose to raise his hips but also that his muscles didn't tense!  Jiraiya felt a strong rush of love for his extraordinary Koishii.

 

**One of Jiraiya's hands slid out from beneath his ass and his knowledgeable touch teased his aching length again.  Then the softest brush of his tongue on the sensitive flesh of his rim, Ibiki gave a delighted cry as the amazing sensations of his lover's tongue and his experienced caress of his cock left him trembling in lust.  He remembered the astounding ecstasy his beloved had given him last time and he found himself doing as he'd never imagined he would ever do, tilting his hips up into the pleasure and moaning in rapture.**

**The skilled tease of Jiraiya's tongue flicking against the area felt incredible and he trembled as he resisted cumming.  The warm wet muscle pressed slightly every time his extraordinary partner stroked up to the head of his cock.  His need grew stronger until he felt the sensation of his lover's tongue darting into his body.  It was too great a ecstasy to resist and his hips bucked, Jiraiya stroked his cock and his tongue thrust into his ass until Ibiki gave a rapturous cry as he climaxed powerfully, fully sating his need.  Then lay panting on the bed as Jiraiya slipped up beside him.**

 

Jiraiya knew it would not be a good idea the cover him at this moment, he still couldn't believe his Koishii had relaxed and gave in to the pleasure!  Jiraiya placed adoring kisses over his beloved's chest and murmured fervently. "So amazing my Koishii...  so strong... you are incredible!" 

 

**Ibiki caressed his face and his lover looked up, "I love you Jiraiya.  You are the one who is amazing, you help me find such strong pleasure, give me the strength to brave going past my restrictions and experience sensations so outstanding that I crave more."**

 

Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "I will do anything for you my wonderful Koishii.  I want to show you all the pleasures you can experience and give you the freedom that you should have."  He was still elated at the gift of trust from his beloved, he'd relaxed! Not been teased into relaxing but _chose_ to relax!  Astounding!

 

\--------------------------

 

As they walked into the shower Ibiki turned and asked softly, "Koishii... please kiss the backs of my knees."   Jiraiya gave him an adoring  smile, asking this was an even larger step than accepting the pleasure of being rimmed.   It meant having someone behind him, touching an area that had been abused to cause extreme pain and on top of that the feel of a touch there was uncomfortable. 

 

Jiraiya walked around to behind Ibiki, but did not immediately sink down, instead he cradled his lover tenderly to him and gave his neck and shoulders gentle kisses.  "I love you so much my strong Koishii."  Gradually he continued down placing a light kiss on the many scars that covered his beloved's back as he sank down.

 

Ibiki had not made a sound, even as he kissed the sensitive scars.  He flinched and tensed as Jiraiya's hands grazed his upper thighs.  Maybe encouraging him to talk would help, "Koishii talk to me."

 

**Ibiki wanted to say something, but his thoughts were not something that would help make Jiraiya's attempt easier, in fact they'd put an end to it immediately.  He dwelled on his memories of receiving the terrible scars... he wasn't even sure they could be called scars, they'd shredded every piece of skin from the area by caning him... they'd done it so many times, the pain...**

 

Jiraiya could see this was causing his partner more stress the longer he waited... gently he kissed the back of one knee.  The result was enough to bring tears to his eyes as his lover flinched hard and gave a terrified whimper.  Jiraiya leapt up, turned his beloved and enclosed him protectively in his arms.  His wonderful Koishii was trembling hard and for several minutes remained frozen, all his muscles tensed as if braced to bear terrible pain... then he embraced Jiraiya, tightly clinging to him. 

 

"You are safe." Jiraiya softly crooned, "I will never let anyone hurt you ever again."  He wanted to stroke Ibiki's back to soothe him, but that would not comfort him right now, only add another aspect to his fear.  All he could do was hold him and talk to him, "You are safe here with me, I will be here, no one will hurt you." 

 

No.  No one would ever hurt his beloved again.  Jiraiya felt such deep hatred for the men who did this.  "I will not let anyone hurt you my precious Koishii... you are safe now."

 

**Ibiki rested his forehead against Jiraiya's shoulder, looking down and trying to calm his heartbeat.  That was all in the past.  Everything was ok now... He had men who loved him, was safe in the Leaf Village, it was over... all in the past.**

**He took a deep breath and looked up to meet Jiraiya's eyes, his lover's eyes were damp with held back tears, his gaze full of sorrow.  Ibiki hated seeing him like this, and he attempted lighten his sorrow .  "Well, that didn't work out too well."**

 

Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, Ibiki's attempt at wry humor didn't hide the fact his lover was shook.  He reached up to stroke his scared cheek, but hesitated, he did not wish to cause his beloved any further stress even the fact he was embracing him firmly could be distressing.  He needed to be careful with him right now so his distress could ease.

 

Ibiki took his hand and brought it to his face, "I want your touch, don't stop touching me.  Don't hesitate, I need your touch."  He leaned in and kissed him softly, "Please don't be sad Koishii.  I'm sorry that didn't go so well."

 

Jiraiya wanted to ask his beloved so many things but this had caused them both much too great of distress and any questions would have to be answered at a later time.  They'd made some progress before on touching the backs of his knees, but this time it had been as bad as the first time.  Had he touched Ibiki in a place or way that was distressing before or during kissing his knee... something that had increased his anxiety?

 

Then Jiraiya felt a wave of self disgust, of course something happened, he'd pushed at his beloved's restriction about being touched on his ass... rimmed him.  Even if his Koishii had accepted that, it still had been stressful.  He shouldn't have tried to kiss his knees...

 

**Ibiki could practically read the thoughts going through his beloved's mind, his Koishii felt he was to blame.  "Jiraiya it wasn't anything you did.  Not now or earlier, I promise... this just didn't go well, but we will keep working on it and it will get better."**

 

Jiraiya was stunned, his beloved had just been frightened very badly and yet he sounded so confident that things would improve, determined to continue forward towards his goal of freedom from the past.

 

**Jiraiya looked at him with surprise then pleasure, "Koishii you are getting so much better, I'm amazed at how strong you are.  You are so extraordinary, I am so blessed to have your love."**

**This had upset Jiraiya very much, Ibiki tried to relax and unknot his muscles, his Koishii would not be able to calm until he could.  But it was hard to do and he tried to focus only on Jiraiya's words and  answered.  "It's because I want it, I want your touch and Kakashi's, to feel you touching me without hesitation and feel only pleasure not fear.  It's you that is extraordinary, for years I lived not touching or being touched.  Not trusting, accepting loneness and not trying to find hope for more than the limited empty life I had.  Then I kissed you and my whole world changed."**

**Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, "I think I knew I loved you the moment I touched you, you amazed me with your strength then and you have not ceased to amaze me in so many ways."**

**Ibiki had managed to relax his body enough to reassure Jiraiya and his beloved released him.  They washed themselves, dried and walked in to lay on the bed together just lightly stroking each other as they both calmed.**

**Ibiki thought about his reaction to having his back of his knee kissed, his mind had been so full of thoughts of what the Rain nin had done, lost in those terrible thoughts the kiss had surprised and sent terror through him.  If he'd spoken, told Jiraiya the things that were haunting him, yes it would have made him sad and it was not likely he'd have wished to touch him.  But by not telling him the result was far worse.  "Koishii... I needed to talk."**

**Jiraiya looked at him curiously and Ibiki clarified, "When we were trying to work on bearing a touch on the backs of my knees."  Jiraiya nodded understanding and Ibiki continued, "I was dwelling on how I got... the damage.  I should have spoke, but I didn't want to make you sad by telling you or make you be afraid to continue.  I should have told you."**

**Jiraiya caressed his face softly, "Do you want to talk about it now?"**

**"Want to... no,"  Ibiki continued quietly, "But I will because I think it may help us work out ways to move past it."  He wasn't sure he could look in Jiraiya's eyes and see the pain his words brought his beloved, instead he looked up at the ceiling.  His fingers continued, stroking his lover's skin soothing him and keeping him getting too upset... helping them both not get too upset, touching him comforted him as well.**

**"Do you know what caning is?"  The answer was clearly yes as Jiraiya's body tensed in distress,  Ibiki sighed, "Simply put there was not a shred of skin on them... every time I'd start to heal..."  He took a ragged breath and continued, "There was extensive damage to the tendons, I don't think they wanted me to be able to walk, to make it impossible to escape even if I did get free... it was very effective."**

**Jiraiya's posture remained tensed, but even before he looked over to meet his eyes Ibiki knew why... his Koishii was furious, his anguish at the pain they caused left him feeling extremely homicidal.  Ibiki soothed, "They are all dead Jiraiya."**

**Jiraiya gave strained little smile, "I'm not very good at hiding my thoughts am I?"**

**Ibiki smiled, "No.  But I'm glad you aren't, I love your open honesty."**

 

Jiraiya tried to rein in his anger, it was not helpful, the abuse happened a long time ago  and if any had survived he was sure Kakashi had already corrected the 'oversight'. 

  

The last of Jiraiya's anger was swept away as his beloved cupped his face and asked, "Can you touch my knees?  I know it isn't fair to ask..."

 

Jiraiya smiled tenderly, "Yes, I will, and it is not unfair of you to ask, it's brave."  His Koishii didn't want what happened to destroy the progress they'd made, he didn't want to dwell on it and fear it.  "Did you wish to stand?"

 

**Ibiki shook his head, that would not be a reassurance at this moment... they had made him stand as they... Jiraiya broke him from his thoughts with a light brush of his fingers on his cheek.**

 

Jiraiya wanted to keep him focused on the present.  "I want to massage you."  He wanted to try a different way, eliminate some of the 'triggers' to make it less upsetting, they'd been moving too fast and needed to take it more gradually.

 

**Ibiki nodded, he trusted Jiraiya, knew his extraordinary lover could find a way that would not cause him as much stress.  He lay on his back and his Koishii slipped down to sit by his feet, then took one foot and massaged it, loosening the muscles and bringing a groan from Ibiki at the exquisite feel of his hands.  Very slowly, Jiraiya continued to massage his way up, Ibiki's foot rested in his beloved's lap so it was raised slightly off the bed, allowing his lover to massage his calve.**

**Ibiki understood what he was doing, his Koishii was amazing, every time there was a problem he'd find a way to move past it.  Laying on his back he could see Jiraiya and the back of his knee was not exposed, his body relaxed by the wonderful feel of his hands loosening his muscles and bringing pleasure.  As Jiraiya reached his upper calve, before the tender back of his knee, his fingers bushed lightly over the damaged area and then around to massage the front of his knee and thigh.**

 

Jiraiya was watching Ibiki as he continued massaging his muscles, he was aware of the very slight flinch his Koishii gave at the light brush, but the muscles did not tighten.  Jiraiya started on the other foot and by the time he reached the sensitive area at the back of the knee Ibiki was groaning in delight at the glorious feeling once more.  Jiraiya watched his face as his fingers feathered over the area, this time he did not flinch. 

 

**Ibiki hadn't felt any strong distress at the feel of Jiraiya's fingers this time, his body was growing used to the feel of his lover's fingers moving over his legs and bringing him pleasure, the careful bush was easier to dismiss.**

**Jiraiya smiled, "If I continue up any further this will quickly turn from a massage to something that will require another shower."**

**Ibiki gave a soft laugh took his hand and drew him up to lay beside him again.  "You have amazing hands Koishii."**

**Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "I will gladly massage you whenever you like."**

**Ibiki understood the offer, he could ask for him to massage his legs whenever he felt like working on accepting a touch there, eventually he would become used to the light stoke of Jiraiya's fingers as part of the wonderful feel of the massage.**

**Ibiki cradled his beloved against him, "I am so blessed to have you Koishii.  I'll never let you go again."  After a few more moments of cuddling they rose and went to reheat the previous days meal.**

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**That night Ibiki's dream drew a bit more vehement reassurance from his Koishii than before.  Jiraiya soothed, "You are safe, you will never be hurt again.  I will always protect you, I won't allow anyone hurt you ever again, I promise you will be safe."**

**Ibiki knew his vehemence was more than just distress about what the Rain nin had done.  His fierce vow was also about losing his family and feeling he had not protected them... he was reminded of how close to killing the would-be robber Jiraiya had been... Tsunade was right, his beloved was a sleeping lion, but one that bore so very many scars on his heart.  He and Kakashi would find ways to heal those scars.  "Come lay with me."**

**Jiraiya slipped into bed with him. Ibiki gathered him close, kissed him tenderly and vowed.  "Someday we will be able to sleep together.  Of course we'll need to get a huge bed to fit us all."**

 

Jiraiya smiled, his beloved held such strong belief now.  Ibiki stroked his body, "With the love of you and Kakashi anything is possible." 

 

As they grew tired Jiraiya rose and returned to Kakashi's bed and they slept soundly.

 

==================================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 23**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 23: NEVER LET ME GO (WE CAME AS ROMANS)


	24. GOOD TO BE ALIVE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 24)

**GOOD TO BE ALIVE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 24)**

\-----------------------------

 

The morning was their usual peaceful pleasure before the day became demanding, before going out the door, Ibiki kissed him... a kiss that deepened to passion before Ibiki groaned and stepped back, "I will see you and Kakashi tonight."

 

Jiraiya laughed and nodded, they'd meet him after he was done with work.  Ibiki left and Jiraiya went to the market for the ingredients for their evening meal, then returned home to wait for his Myobu.  He loved holding his enthralling partner, kissing him and hearing his shameless cries of pleasure at his touch.

 

Jiraiya look over at his unfinished novel, this would be a very good time to write, after dwelling on thoughts of his lover he was extremely aroused.  His intention of writing was cast aside as his riveting beloved walked in.

 

_As he walked in and crossed the room to embrace Jiraiya, he saw his lover's body was aroused and by the time he'd reached his partner's arms his own cock was making his pants a bit too tight.  His fingers brushed over his beloved's erection as he kissed him and when Jiraiya broke the kiss it was to tease. "I like the way you greet me!"_

_Kakashi looked up at him and bluntly stated, "I want to feel you inside me."_  

 

Jiraiya stroked his face and nodded.  The fact his Myobu was often aroused when he walked in after the mission was because the ease of tension he felt after he was back home.   His lover's need for contact and for connection was one he was very glad to fill.

 

"I want to feel you move in me... please."  Kakashi's gorgeous eyes met his seriously. 

 

Jiraiya nodded, he could slowly rock that should not cause him to be too sore.  He swore this time he'd be more careful.  He caressed his lover's sensual body as he removed his clothes and then lead him over to the couch and removed his own clothes.

 

Kakashi's eyes lit at the sight of his erection, his longing to feel him was clear.  Jiraiya sat him on his lower thighs and Kakashi leaned forward to place passionate kisses over his throat and upper chest.  Jiraiya groaned, "Your mouth is so wonderful Myobu!"  His lover was so very seductive, no one had ever tempted him more, but he would not do anything that would hurt his cherished beloved.

 

_The soft strokes of Jiraiya's fingers tease his ass until his was panting and giving urgent cries, he was ecstatic as his lover's firm grasp of his hips guided him over and lowered him gradually down on his cock.  To his surprise and delight Jiraiya lowered him to base!_

_Kakashi gave his beloved thankful kisses, his amazing lover had known he'd like to feel all of him for a few moments.  He hugged his incredible partner, feeling Jiraiya's big cock deep within him, filling his body.  He'd longed for this, his lover felt so good, but he could not stay like this while Jiraiya fucked him, at least not yet.  After a few more blissful moments of enjoying the feeling, Kakashi looked up and nodded that he was ready to give up the deep connection of their bodies._

 

Jiraiya cupped his beloved's hips and lifted him up to half way up the length, he was so glad he'd trusted his Myobu to not move, he'd enjoyed that brief time of feeling Kakashi's body embracing his cock as much as his lover did.

 

He slowly rocked his hips trying to ignore the wonderful tight heat 'stroking' his cock and adjusting his movements until he was rocking steadily into the exquisite hold and listening to the ecstatic fevered cries his beloved gave.  The slightly faster thrusts and sound of his lover's delight was a tremendous temptation and his cock throbbed craving more stimulation.

 

Jiraiya teased his partner's erection, stroking him and circling his thumb around the swollen head as Kakashi's cries grew increasingly urgent.  Then he coaxed him that last step, his thumb brushed a soft pulse of chakra over the tip.

 

Kakashi howled his passage contracting powerfully around his erection and Jiraiya gave a groan at the strong tease.  But, even after his beloved had cum, his eyes still held longing for more.  He'd have to be very careful, his Myobu's body would be getting sore and he didn't want to cause him pain.  

 

The problem was his own need was growing very strong, the contractions of his partner's body as he came strained his control, leaving his cock pounding and turgid with the strength of his desire.  Still he would not give in, he would never fuck his small lover, it would hurt him greatly. 

 

_His beloved needed release, and he wanted the pleasure of feeling his large cock jumping inside his body as he climaxed.  While he'd been traveling back from his mission, he'd thought about how Jiraiya had held him up when he'd gave Ibiki's balls a chakra stroke.  How Ibiki had came very hard... but not hurt him._

 

Jiraiya groaned, trying to resist his orgasm, he had to be gentle, he could not buck.  He needed to...  then all thought fled as he felt his lover's fingers send a soft wave of Chakra over his balls.  He cried out bucking hard and cumming, he was still panting at the rapture as he studied his Myobu's face afraid he'd hurt him.

 

_[i]Kakashi was not hurt, he had rose up on his knees, he lay his head on Jiraiya's shoulder and gave the side of his neck a tender kiss.  "I'm getting better... experienced..."_

_'Experienced', he'd thought experienced was to adapt to take all of his lover in, to be fucked like Ibiki fucked him... he was wrong.  It was about learning the way to give and receive the powerful pleasure in a way that would not harm him or cause Jiraiya shame... he had been certain he'd found a way and now he knew his idea worked,  "I don't want you to have to worry."_

_Jiraiya embraced him, caressing his body gently, "So precious, I love you so much."_

_Kakashi nuzzled him and placed a kiss further back on his neck.  Jiraiya's grasp tightened for a moment, Kakashi drew back slightly looking him in the eyes, surprised at the feel of his lover's cock jumping within him in reaction.  Again nuzzled his beloved's hair back and placed a kiss on the back of his neck, Jiraiya groaned, his cock hardening._

_Jiraiya was sensitive back where his hair protected his skin and it aroused him!   Delighted Kakashi traced a chakra stroke around his nipple and heard his breath catch... he got a thrill at the knowledge he was teasing his experienced lover!_

_He could really have sex with Jiraiya now, he knew what to do, his beloved wouldn't hurt him when he came in him anymore.  But he needed to prove it to Jiraiya.  Kakashi murmured in his ear, "Please fill me full of your cum."_

_Jiraiya groaned loudly, "Talking dirty too!  I have turned you into a very 'dangerous' individual!"_

_Kakashi kissed the tender place behind his ear and heard his lover's louder groan, his tone although amused, now rough with hunger as he teased. "I didn't even teach you that one... soon you'll surpass me!"_

_Kakashi drew back to kiss him passionately, "I will never surpass you, you will always amaze me."  He reached back and nudged his lover's hands lower to rest on his firm ass cheeks, "Please."_

 

Jiraiya lowered him down to the base, now that he'd cum he would be able to resist the temptation.  His hand wrapped around his gorgeous Myobu's cock stroking and circling, teasing the head with brushes of chakra.  Kakashi panted and whimpered rocking slightly.  Although it made him a bit uneasy, Jiraiya knew he had to trust him... trust he was not causing himself pain.  His seductive beloved neared release and Jiraiya blocked it.  Kakashi moaned and gasped, "More." 

 

Slowly Jiraiya teased him to desperation and his partner whined as he blocked him from cumming again, his body moving a bit faster but caressing Jiraiya's chest in reassurance.  Jiraiya tempted him to the peak again, everything about his beloved's body aroused him so very much, the tight hold rippling around his cock...  He'd been wrong, the feel of his lover and his cries... It was going to be difficult to resist his own orgasm when his Myobu came. 

 

Kakashi looked in his eyes, "Fuck me, fuck me and cum!"  Jiraiya was about to protest when his incredible lover rose up on his knees to half way up his cock and embraced him.  Jiraiya groaned wrapping his arms tightly around his precious beloved, giving in to his desires and fucking the wonderful hold ecstatically.  He gave deep moans and cried out in pleasure at feeling his partner's body tighten around him.

 

_Kakashi was in rapture!  The feel of his lover, excited and free, passionately fucking him was the temptation he could not resist.  The friction of his erection thrusting against Jiraiya with every incredible stroke of his beloved's cock brought a powerful orgasm and he cried out in ecstasy._

 

The feel of Kakashi's muscles grasping and rippling drew a rapturous moan and hard buck as he climaxed, "Myobu!  Ah you feel so good!" Jiraiya bucked again then rained kisses over his lover's face and chest.  "So perfect!"

 

Both men became aware at that moment that Ibiki stood watching.  Shame swept through Jiraiya and he felt a terrible sorrow.  He'd hurt his Koishii, it was the one thing his beloved had asked... that he not fuck his lover when he was there.  "Koishii, I'm so sorry!"

 

Kakashi rose off him to go embrace their partner, snuggling into his side. Ibiki just stood looking at Jiraiya for the next few moments, a chaotic mix of emotion on his face.  Jiraiya rose, walked up and very tentatively stroked his cheek.  He wasn't sure his Koishii would wish his touch right now... or any time in the foreseeable future. 

 

Kakashi was tightly molded into Ibiki's side, his head on his chest, as he looked anxiously up at him.  Ibiki looked down at Jiraiya's cock, then up at him silently.  Jiraiya wasn't sure what to say, finally his Koishii quietly spoke.  "I think I need to watch you... I need to see this." 

 

Jiraiya was not sure what his Koishii was thinking but he was grateful he had not recoiled from his touch.  Ibiki looked from Jiraiya's eyes down to his cock, then met his eyes once more.  "For the first time in my life I wish I could, but the thought terrifies me." 

 

His lover's words were a surprise but he held his tongue and waited, his Koishii needed to speak, to express the emotions he was feeling. 

 

Ibiki still looked conflicted, "I saw the pleasure... the delight, both of you moaning and freely doing what you wish... getting pleasure and giving it without reservation.  I want that, I need to see this... I need to want that."  Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's body, with only a slight hesitation before brushing over his cock. 

 

Jiraiya was proud of his Koishii's strength, this had to have been distressing to come upon, but he had not left... and he'd watched them.  He wanted so much to just hold him but he had something important he wished to say. 

 

Jiraiya dipped his head and kissed his Myobu's brow, then looked lovingly at him as he spoke to Ibiki, "Kakashi is amazing, I have never met anyone so adept and finding solutions to limitations." 

 

_He was shocked that Jiraiya was saying that about him, and even more, that he felt that way about him.  He watched Ibiki's face intently, he still looked uncertain, but then Kakashi felt his beloved's muscles relax as Jiraiya stroked his cheek.  Everything would be ok, Jiraiya knew how to soothe him._

 

Jiraiya knew this may upset his Koishii but met his eyes and spoke freely, "I am far too well endowed to have sex freely with our lover... it's impossible.  That's what I told myself.  I cannot give in and freely embrace pleasure without fear of hurting him... but that's not true. " 

 

Jiraiya caressed Kakashi tenderly before meeting Ibiki's eyes seriously once more.  "I had resigned myself, given up... accepted that I could never be free of that _restriction_.  I didn't even try to look for a solution." 

 

Jiraiya could see in his eyes that Ibiki knew he'd purposely chosen that word,  "Accepted the _limitation_..." his eyes met Kakashi's.  "But I do not have to accept it, only find ways to get what I need and trust in my partners to help."  

 

Jiraiya stroked his Myobu's cheek, "I must accept their help and to believe in them." 

 

Jiraiya then cupped Ibiki's face lovingly and sincerely stated, "One day I will make love to you, one day you will be ready and find all the freedom you seek."  Jiraiya saw a flash of uncertainty in his Koishii's eyes when he'd stated one day he'd make love to him, but no fear.  That alone was such a big step, his beloved had come so far. 

 

Ibiki solemnly replied, "Jiraiya I wish I could say someday I will be able to accept you making love to me, but I can't say that... all I can say is that I wish for that day when I will be free and I will strive for it."

 

=================

 

**Jiraiya and Kakashi went in to shower, although aroused Ibiki just needed some time to think about what he'd watched and his Koishii's words.  He went to the kitchen and began to make their evening meal.**

**_'One day I will make love to you, one day you will be ready and find all the freedom you seek._ '  Jiraiya really believed one day he'd be free to choose what he wanted to do without fear, to touch and be touched however he wished... 'make love'.  **

**Yes the thought of being fucked was extremely disturbing but he now was able to do things he'd never imagined possible before Jiraiya... it was possible someday he may be able to accept it.  It still seemed pretty doubtful he could ever find pleasure in it... but it was possible.**

**Kakashi had found a way to free Jiraiya from his restriction... his incredible Saiai, he was so blessed to have such extraordinary partners.  The ecstasy on their faces as they came... that was the one thing he was not conflicted on, he did need to watch them and see that rapture.**

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

In the warm shower Jiraiya massaged his slender Myobu carefully,  "How sore are you?" 

 

Kakashi turned and wrapped his arms around him, "Please, no more worrying, I promise I would not continue if I was in pain and I do not feel pain right now, only achy but that's because you gave me three very strong orgasms.  I do not mind being achy, you gave me such extraordinary pleasure and the very best was hearing your cries."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I love you.  I trust you Myobu... It will take a bit before I stop asking, I've had many lovers, some would cause themselves to become extremely sore... I've got in the habit of asking."

 

Kakashi kissed him, "If they did it was because they were not thinking of you, I know how upsetting that is for you, they did too.  If they'd cared they'd have tried to find way to get satisfaction and give you pleasure without doing anything that would hurt them or you."

 

Jiraiya kissed him, "You are right, they were selfish and I am lucky to have you, someone who cares and looked for that way.  Thank you, my Myobu."

 

Kakashi smiled, then turned and lay back against him and gave a blissful sigh, "I love you Jiraiya, I will love you forever."

 

Jiraiya cradled him and placed a tender kiss on his shoulder, "I love you beautiful Myobu, I will always love you and never leave."  He was aware his beloved was sore, but the content looks he got from his lover were the promise that he enjoyed every moment and there was no need for guilt.

 

_Kakashi looked back, "I am happy."   While he would still have some sore muscles for a while, he looked on it as a reminder of the intense pleasure they'd felt not a negative thing.  His body was adjusting and eventually there would not even be sore muscles.  Now that he'd found the way to bring them both pleasure things would become easier._

 

"I am too." Jiraiya stroked the soft skin of  his beloved's chest.  "I think we should finish showering, Ibiki is probably about done with the meal."  Kakashi nodded.  They washed, dried and dressed then walked out and helped set the table.

 

\-------------------

 

Jiraiya had been concerned Ibiki would still be dwelling on what he'd seen, on their fucking, but he did not seem overly quiet or distracted.  He'd said he wanted to see them, needed to see their pleasure and want it... Jiraiya was sure he was ready to start involving Kakashi in more of his recovery from the abuse done to him.  How well he'd handled seeing them fuck showed how quickly he was making leaps forward.  He'd been holding his beloved back by not accepting his place by their sides, the confidence his Koishii had now was astounding, he'd needed the stability.

 

Jiraiya could feel his hope growing stronger, his belief in the dream, he was starting to dare to believe that this time it really would be forever.  He wanted to be here helping his Koishii, reassuring his Myobu,  being loved and needed.

 

After they cleaned up from their meal they walked in to the bedroom, the way Ibiki's eyes had rested on them showed that he was still aroused after watching them fuck.  The urge to touch him was clear in Kakashi's gaze and Jiraiya was sure in his own as well. 

 

They'd worked on removing clothes the night before without any serious problems and this was an area that was important to Ibiki, he could see how his Koishii longed to touch them as they undressed.

 

Jiraiya stripped and cupped his sensual Myobu from behind, then asked Ibiki softly "Koishii, can you remove his clothes?" 

 

Ibiki looked uneasy, but nodded.  Kakashi glanced up over his shoulder at Jiraiya, he looked nearly as anxious as their partner.  Jiraiya soothed them both gently crooning, "He can do this, he's so strong." 

 

**Kakashi's gaze returned to Ibiki, who looked seriously in his eyes and reassured, "I can do this my Saiai, touch my beloved's body."  Ibiki stroked over Kakashi's chest baring the flesh and brushing his fingers over his lover's sensitive skin.**

 

Jiraiya smiled affectionately as Kakashi mewed and shivered in delight, but continued to watch his Koishii closely.  As Ibiki's hands slipped down to their lover's pants he looked very uncertain.  Jiraiya sucked on Kakashi's pulse point and he gave a needy whimper that replaced the growing distress in Ibiki's eyes with desire. 

 

**Ibiki slowly sank down drawing his Saiai's pants down, but didn't look away as Jiraiya's hand slid in and enclosed their lover's cock.  He raptly watched Jiraiya's hand slide up the swollen length as their lover's pants pooled on the floor.  Seeing the engorged flesh in his Koishii's hand it seemed less threatening and the wanton mews his Saiai was giving made thinking of anything but his desire for his partner nearly impossible.   Intently, Ibiki watched as Jiraiya stroked again, very slowly and his thumb circled the flushed head.  He'd watched Jiraiya touch Kakashi before, but never really looked at what he was doing.  How the slow strokes made their lover's cock swell with need, the tremble of his Saiai's muscles at the ecstasy... he knew how Jiraiya's touch felt, the powerful pleasure and need he was bringing Kakashi.**

 

Ibiki had not rose, Jiraiya had not expected the tease to be so effective.  His Koishii's eyes were dark with lust and without fear or anxiety.  Jiraiya's thumb circling the tip of Kakashi's turgid member had drew a drop of precum.  Ibiki looked up at Jiraiya, then uncertainly from the drop back up to meet his eyes.  Jiraiya could see he wanted to try to lick it, but was very conflicted.  That was a bit too great of a leap, instead Jiraiya gathered the drop and traced a circle around Kakashi's nipple. 

 

**Ibiki rose and licked the area, the taste was diluted by the taste of his lover's warm skin, it brought uneasiness but no strong aversion.  The taste was a bit stronger than when he'd kissed Jiraiya after his Koishii had gave him oral sex... Ibiki copied what Jiraiya did tracing the slick head and circling his Saiai's nipple then once more licked it off.  Kakashi was breathlessly crying out... such arousing cries of need.  His desire at his beloved's cries made any thoughts of the past easily dismissed.  He embraced Kakashi from the front while Jiraiya cupped him from behind, enclosing their small lover between them, then rocked his hips rubbing his engorged flesh against his Saiai's.[/b]**

 

Jiraiya gently rocked, he  knew his sexy Myobu was sore from earlier and was careful not to put any force into his thrusts, just brushing along the part and teasing him.  Ibiki was extremely aroused, the 'tasting' of Kakashi had not caused distress and the undressing his lover had excited him... for the first time since his abuse his Koishii was getting pleasure from one of the things that had only brought him  strong anxiety before... another bit of his freedom was won.

 

**Kakashi gasped and gave a loud wanton cry of need, Ibiki saw Jiraiya was rocking his hips rubbing his cock against their lover's ass, the knowledge excited him and Ibiki's thrusts grew faster.  Jiraiya's matched his faster strokes and very quickly they had their seductive lover wailing in ecstasy, shivering at the depth of his pleasure.  Not long after that Kakashi climaxed, gasping and keening at the powerful surge of rapture it brought and his cries were the tease that brought  Ibiki's orgasm.**

 

Kakashi pressed back into Jiraiya's thrusts, the firm cheeks embracing his rigid flesh and Jiraiya could not resist his own climax.  He groaned in delight as he gave a careful buck and came.  This had probably made Kakashi's muscles hurt a bit more, but his Myobu had promised he would not cause himself strong pain... and Jiraiya believed him.  If his beloved had been in strong pain he would not have pressed back into his buck.

 

**Ibiki cupped his Saiai's cheek and kissed him deeply, "I have the most sensual lovers in the village."  He looked up at Jiraiya, "And I will never let them go."  This was what they all needed, they needed each other, and they would handle any problems together.**

 

Jiraiya felt Kakashi leaning against him a bit more firmly and stroked his arm tenderly.  His Myobu was essentially agreeing, expressing his desire for reassuring contact, Jiraiya kissed his temple.  Kakashi looked up over his shoulder at him and sighed blissfully.  Then surprised him by stating.  "I want to watch you suck Ibiki's cock."

 

_Kakashi felt Ibiki's flesh slowly harden against him at the thought.  He wanted to see Ibiki breathless with ecstasy, crying out at their experienced lover's touch.  He needed to see Jiraiya's mouth cover the hard flesh and tease it until it was engorged with his beloved's need... and see the joy in Jiraiya's eyes at the sound of Ibiki's pleasure._

 

Jiraiya laughed affectionately, he loved his Myobu's unpredictable requests and his honesty in asking for the things he desired.  "Beautiful Myobu..." 

 

Jiraiya met Ibiki's eyes, he wanted Kakashi to touch Ibiki while he did, this may be uncomfortable for his Koishii but he didn't think it would be.  Jiraiya's gaze returned to Kakashi, "I want you to touch Ibiki."  Kakashi nodded but his hand hesitated a moment before lightly brushing his fingers over their partner's erection, when Ibiki gave a soft moan, Kakashi gained confidence and skillfully stroked his cock.

 

_Kakashi was excited and nervous, he loved touching his lover but was afraid he'd do something wrong, "Can I... I want to touch you with chakra."_

 

Ibiki nodded and Jiraiya watched his Koishii's face as Kakashi started tracing chakra over the head of his cock.  Ibiki moaned loudly, his voice was husky with desire as he praised, "Saiai... your touch feels so good!"  Jiraiya moved around and lightly cupped his Koishii from behind, placing tender kisses over his neck and upper back.

 

He waited to see if this was too much, if they were overwhelming him and causing anxiety.   Ibiki showed no signs that this was stressing him, in fact with the way their seductive partner's fingers were brushing chakra over his balls, he was extremely aroused.  Kakashi released him and looked up at Jiraiya, Jiraiya turned Ibiki to face him and placed a kiss in the hollow behind his ear then murmured, "Kakashi is going to touch your back while I take you in my mouth."

 

Ibiki nodded, and then moaned as Jiraiya kissed and caressed his body while he sank down before him.  Jiraiya encouraged Kakashi, "Stroke his back... tease him."  Kakashi looked very excited at the 'permission' to touch Ibiki.

 

**His Saiai's fingers feathered lightly over the sensitive scars, adoring touches that brought deeper pleasure than sexual... although they brought that too. The gentle caresses expressions of love, he wanted those touches, wanted the affection of them... the men he loved were touching him, bringing him pleasure.  He relaxed and trusted them.**

**Jiraiya licked the head of his cock and Ibiki gave a soft groan of lust, his urgent need building and he gasped as his skilled lover's mouth enclosed the tip of his erection.  Jiraiya did not suck the needy organ only flicked his tongue over the tender head until Ibiki's thigh muscles were flexing powerfully at his desire to thrust into the tempting hold.**

 

Jiraiya released the turgid length and wrapped his hand around the shaft stroking it smoothly.  He listened to Ibiki's cries and groans and watched Kakashi.  Jiraiya could see his Myobu's delight at feeling their lover's hard body. 

 

_As Kakashi stroked over his beloved's lower waist, Jiraiya's hand slipped around to brush over Ibiki's ass lightly, then caught his hand and drew it down to graze over their lover's ass with him.  Ibiki flinched and Kakashi almost drew his hand away, but Jiraiya's grasp tightened very slightly encouraging his hand to stay and so he did, softly caressing over the firm cheeks.  He was so excited he was short of breath, he was touching Ibiki's ass, stroking his body and he was not moving away... not frightened by his touch!_

 

Jiraiya continued to stroke his lover's engorged cock, circling the shaft with every draw to the tip.  Ibiki relaxed and moaned as he enjoyed the additional stimulation.  Jiraiya's hand returned to Ibiki's hip as Kakashi continued  lightly brushing over his ass.

 

**For a moment he'd been very uneasy, but he was very grateful Jiraiya's hand had kept their lover's there and they'd continued.  He wanted Kakashi to feel he could touch him, to not be afraid to  Although it had sent a wave of alarm through him, he'd been able to overcome it and enjoy the touches.**

**All thought fled as Jiraiya's mouth covered his cock once more and dropped to the base, caressing his balls his finger brushed a gentle pulse of chakra over the strip of skin beneath them and back to his entrance.  Ibiki gave a shocked cry of ecstasy and bucked as he came in the tight hold of his Koishii's throat.**

**Jiraiya released him and rose to embrace him, drawing Kakashi in to enclose him between them, a gesture of reassurance and comfort... that remained a loving expression even though Ibiki could feel the light press of Kakashi's cock against him.**  

 

Jiraiya was pleased this had went well, Ibiki was touched on his ass by Kakashi while he had brushed chakra over his entrance, it was a bit of a leap but he had  been sure his strong Koishii was ready.  Still he and Kakashi tenderly held him after, to link the sensations with their love for him and ease any discomfort for their partner.

 

**Kakashi was quiet, Ibiki glanced back, his Saiai's eyes were slightly worried as he looked at him.  Ibiki turned in Jiraiya's arms, not wishing to leave the wonderful comfort.  He caressed Kakashi's cheek, "I want you to touch me Saiai, I promise if I cannot bear the touch I will move away or tell you to stop."**

**Jiraiya stroked Kakashi's shoulder lovingly as he explained, "A flinch is him trying to accept a touch, he needs to see if he can accept it, he'll then move away if he cannot."**

**Some of Kakashi's anxiety faded and he nodded, looking in Ibiki's eyes he replied, "I like touching you... I worry I will become too excited and forget that I should not touch places."**

**Ibiki looked from his beautiful Saiai to Jiraiya then his gaze returned to Kakashi's, "Touch me anywhere... except the backs of the knees... if I cannot bear it I will move away."**

 

Jiraiya nodded, Ibiki had reached a point that he could accept many touches, not all the time but they had to be less cautious with him now and not hesitate.  They needed to trust their beloved to tell them to stop or move away.

 

**Ibiki knew there would be times when things 'didn't go well' and it would be a long time before he could accept the back of his knees being freely touched.  But he needed Kakashi to accept it when things went badly and not let it make him afraid to touch him... he wanted their touches very much and with his Koishii as their partner there was nothing they couldn't handle together.**

\--------------------

**That night they moved the beds close again but left a small gap between them so they would not accidentally touch him, Jiraiya slept on the side nearest to Ibiki, Kakashi on the other side of Jiraiya.**

**Ibiki was uneasy at having the beds so close but slowly he relaxed.  He needed to trust Jiraiya, to believe his Koishii would not touch him, and to believe he would not injure his beloved... His nightmare that night reflected his anxiety.**

 

Jiraiya was glad he was there when his Koishii began whimpering softly, "No..." 

 

His beloved's tone was anguished and Jiraiya knew this was not the same as the usual horrors in his dreams.   Kakashi sat up looking extremely upset and Jiraiya took his hand rubbing it soothingly as he 'called' Ibiki out of his dream.  "I am here, I'm safe.  Kakashi is here and he's safe..."  Ibiki's breathing changed and it was clear he was awake but not secure yet.  "We are beside you and will never leave.  We will protect you... and you will protect us.  We will hold you and love you forever. "

 

**Ibiki drew a deep breath and released it, "I need your touches."  He felt Jiraiya slip into bed on one side and Kakashi on the other, their bodies lay touching his.  The loving strokes of their fingers was so very soothing and he relaxed, he knew his lovers would get up if he was falling asleep, he trusted them to move away.  Ibiki lay his hand on his Saiai's. "Thank you... your love helps so much."**

 

Jiraiya smiled, Ibiki had known Kakashi felt he could not help him.  That he thought only Jiraiya could and reassured him.  Ibiki covered Jiraiya's hand as well, "I need you both so very much, you are the anchors... the life line to grab and the comfort  I need."

 

_Kakashi lay his head against his shoulder, "I do not have the terrible dreams, but you both are that for me when the 'darkness' fills me stealing my joy."_

 

Jiraiya wished he could hold Kakashi as well, his Myobu still did not recognize the 'darkness' was depression, but Jiraiya was so glad he was there to soothe him and 'draw him back' too.  He wanted to help him leave the emotional pain and sorrow in the past just as he was doing for Ibiki.  He never wanted to be away from the two men he loved.  "I will always be here, I will never leave... you both are the source of joy in my life.  I need you, I love you... both of you, forever."

 

They lay quietly stroking each other for a while until they all had calmed and were ready to go to sleep once more.  Jiraiya and Kakashi returned to their bed, as he drifted to sleep he felt his Myobu snuggle into his side, now half asleep he sought reassurance.  Jiraiya wrapped an arm around him gathering him close and felt Kakashi relax in sleep, then Jiraiya slept as well. 

 

\----------------------

 

**In the morning Ibiki made the decision to go into work a bit later, he'd have to stay longer that night because he had men going on missions and he would be waiting for them to report in.**

**Jiraiya rose from bed to go make coffee and heat the water for tea, Kakashi slipped into bed beside Ibiki and they caressed each other gently as they waited for his return.**

 

\--------------

 

Jiraiya awkwardly tried to cut the fruit he'd bought the day before into semi decorative shapes, but he had nowhere near the artistic talent his Koishii had... still they would serve their purpose even if they were not artistic masterpieces.

 

Jiraiya carried in the plate, smiling as he saw Kakashi had joined Ibiki in his bed.  Jiraiya set the tray with the plate of fruit on the table beside the bed.  Kakashi looked curiously at it... Ibiki also looked at the fruit then up at Jiraiya with a concerned but hopeful look.

 

**Fruit... like before... when they'd been happy and Jiraiya had trusted him...**

**Jiraiya sat on the bed and gave them a mischievous little smile, "I lack the skill to cut them into beautiful shapes but..." He took a strawberry and took a bite before tracing it over Kakashi's nipple and causing him to gasp. Ibiki needed no encouragement licking the area and raising the small nipple to bud, sucking at the peak and bringing breathless cries from the highly sensitive man.**  

 

Jiraiya smirked as Ibiki drew back,  then slipped up to straddle his thighs watching his lover flush hard beneath him but was not distracted from his intent, "Kakashi have you ever tried melon?"

 

Kakashi looked excited as he shook his head and his breathing sped as Jiraiya traced the cold slice down the center of his Koishii's chest to his pelvis.  Then Kakashi gave a delighted cry and began licking and sucking the trail.  Jiraiya could feel Ibiki's thigh muscles flexing at the urge to buck and his rapturous cries of pleasure tempted him greatly.

 

_As Kakashi reached Ibiki's pelvis he reached over and took a bit of fruit tracing up the hollow of Jiraiya's hip and eagerly licking the area.  Jiraiya moaned and purred. "So sexy!"_

_He'd never imagined anything like this!  Jiraiya was so amazing, always teasing them in new and exciting ways.  Ibiki had looked nervous when he'd seen their lover had brought fruit, but now he was full of joy.  It was clear this had meant something to his partners and they'd brought him into it._

 

Kakashi drew back, and Ibiki cupped Jiraiya's hips shifting to place him on the bed, kissing him passionately as he whimpered urgently into the kiss.  Kakashi had caught on to this 'game' very well and some cold fruit was now tracing over the head of Jiraiya's erection, then the extreme pleasure of his warm mouth covering and sucking, his tongue flicking over the swollen flesh.

 

**Ibiki enjoyed the whimpers and moans his Koishii was giving into their kiss, he knew his Saiai was teasing their lover greatly... and that Kakashi would be very aroused as well by the sounds of desire that their partner was making.  He broke the kiss and Jiraiya's passionate cries grew loud and breathless.**

 

_Kakashi released Jiraiya's cock, his hand wrapping around it and stroking slowly, enjoying the feel of it and further teased by the memory of how it felt inside him._

_His other hand brushed chakra over his balls and he gave a delighted cry as Jiraiya's legs rose up to bent offering all of his body to him!  Kakashi trembled as his finger's slipped lower rubbing chakra over his lover's entrance._

_Jiraiya cried out in pleasure, and pressed slightly into his touch, Kakashi paused and reached for the lube, he would not do anything that would hurt him.  Jiraiya's gaze was so loving, that look and the highly aroused state of his lover's body wiped away the last of Kakashi's hesitation and his slick finger brushed over his partner's rim.  His chakra stroke paused over the tempting entrance and Kakashi watched Jiraiya's face as his finger carefully pushed in, giving a low hum of chakra over the area as he did.  Jiraiya cried out arching into his finger, "Oh Myobu!   It feels so good!"_

_Kakashi felt a rush of excitement, his finger stroking into his lover's body slowly as the chakra grew a bit stronger._

 

**Ibiki watched his lovers raptly, watching their faces and seeing the powerful surges of pleasure his Saiai's touch was bringing Jiraiya reminded him of watching them fuck.  Jiraiya gave an urgent moan, his cock dotting with precum at the tease.**

**There was something he wished to see his lovers do, but he wasn't sure how Kakashi would feel about it.  Ibiki decided to just follow his Saiai's example and state what he wished.  "Saiai, I want to see you fuck him."**

**Kakashi looked surprised, but then nodded.**

 

_He wasn't sure about this... although he'd done it once before and not hurt Jiraiya.   He still was so unfamiliar with what to do.  What if he hurt him this time?_

 

Jiraiya looked over at Ibiki, then met Kakashi's eyes with encouragement.  His Myobu was nervous, he remained afraid of hurting him. "Do you want me to be on top?"  That way he could press down and Kakashi would not need to worry that it was hurting him... but also he wanted to see how his Koishii  reacted and redirect him if he was becoming uneasy.

 

Kakashi looked relieved and nodded, he lay down on the bed and gave excited mews as Jiraiya kissed up his chest as he rose to straddle him.   Jiraiya kept his weight on his knees so he would not 'crush' his smaller lover beneath him and lightly caressed his partner's erection.  Then reached over and drew some lube, now stroking his cock with a slick hand that nearly had his sensual Myobu writhing.

 

**Ibiki now saw why his Saiai was always so aroused by watching them, he could see both his lover's pleasure and need... it was very riveting.  He noted that Jiraiya had drew lube to reassure Kakashi, his Saiai was nervous, perhaps he should not have asked.**

 

Jiraiya smiled at Kakashi's wanton cries and positioned his lover's rigid length, pressing down slowly on it and hearing his beloved's howls at the feel of the tight heat swallowing his sensitive flesh.  Jiraiya paused halfway down and rocked, teasing him and Kakashi's hands flew up to cup his hips and urging him to continue to the base. 

 

**Ibiki nearly groaned, his lover's were so seductive, Jiraiya's playful teasing had succeeded in easing the last of Kakashi's anxiety and he was giving soft bucks... watching him and his reactions it was clear he was definitely not experienced, but it was unlikely this was the first time his Saiai had fucked their partner.  Jiraiya remained up on his knees over him rocking his hips and fucking himself on Kakashi's swollen length.  Curiously Ibiki found himself watching his Saiai's cock as it moved in and out of Jiraiya's body.**

 

Jiraiya's eyes widened slightly as he felt Ibiki's finger trace the filled entrance of his body, then he moaned breathlessly.  "Your touch feels wonderful!"  The knowledge his Koishii was touching him excited him greatly and his Myobu's cries teased him further.  It was growing very hard to resist cumming, but he was determined he would.  His Koishii was bravely pushing at his 'restrictions' and touching him, that was so much more important than the pleasure he'd get from his orgasm.

 

**Ibiki was a bit surprised, he hadn't even realized he'd reached out to touch his lovers but he did not draw his hand back, his hand moved over Jiraiya's ass cheeks... this was what his Saiai wished to feel... the powerful flex of their muscles.  His hand dropped away and he returned to watching their faces.  He  almost looked away as he wondered whether Kakashi ever wished he could fuck him.**

**Ibiki tried to think of it objectively, it didn't matter, his Saiai would never ask for that... but he still was a bit  uncomfortable.  Then he saw Kakashi's gaze rested on Jiraiya's erection, although fucking him, the way he caressed and stroked it... it was clear that while fucking Jiraiya was extremely pleasurable he desired it within him.**

**Kakashi panted out loud cries of rapture that were joined with Jiraiya's as his Saiai's hand stroked their lover's cock faster, circling and teasing the hard length. Until Jiraiya shifted his hips and cried out as he climaxed,  Kakashi wailed as he bucked and came, but his hand remained fondling Jiraiya's cock until Jiraiya groaned, his body too sated to give any more.**  

 

_Kakashi brought his hand up and licked the cum from his fingers earning a loud groan from both his lovers,  his eyes rested on Ibiki's cock then returned to meet Jiraiya's eyes and gasped as his partner lifted from his satisfied flesh._

_Fucking Jiraiya was outstanding ecstasy, but the feel of his lovers inside him brought a much deeper pleasure than just sexual.  Kakashi asked softly, "Please cover me Jiraiya, I want to feel you on top of me."_  

 

Jiraiya smiled, "Yes Myobu."  It was not surprising that he'd asked, he'd wanted him to do it last time too, he enjoyed the feeling of being dominantly covered.

 

**Ibiki thought about the way his Saiai looked at their cocks with interest even as his erection thrust into Jiraiya, and his request to be covered... and he knew his Saiai loved the feel of their cocks within him... Ibiki doubted the thought of fucking him had even crossed his beloved's mind.**

 

_Being covered felt so good... but that wasn't what he wanted most.  Kakashi looked up at Ibiki, he wanted to touch him... but he wasn't sure.   Although Ibiki had said he could, but he did not wish to cause him distress._

_He loved feeling Ibiki's body and remained undecided until he met Jiraiya's eyes.  Jiraiya didn't wish to cause him pain, but trusted him to not allow it... he needed to trust Ibiki would stop him if his touch was distressing.  Jiraiya saw his wish to touch Ibiki and rose up off him to watch his partners._

 

**Ibiki had seen Kakashi's longing as well and urged, "Please touch me Saiai, I want your touches."  Kakashi looked a bit uneasy, but beneath that Ibiki could see his excitement at the encouragement to touch him.  "Touch me anywhere..."**

 

_Kakashi slipped over to caress down his chest, but reassured Ibiki that he remembered, "Anywhere but the back of the knees."_

_Ibiki kissed him, "Yes Saiai, anywhere but there."_

_Cautiously he embraced Ibiki his hand stroking over his lover's taut stomach, then slid down to caress his cock as he kissed his beloved's chest._

 

**Ibiki heard the ecstatic whimpers his Saiai was giving as he kissed his body, that tempted him as greatly as the feel of his kisses and caress of his soft hands.  Jiraiya sat beside them and Kakashi's soft cries grew in passion quickly as their partner stroked his ass.**

 

Although teasing Kakashi, Jiraiya watched his Koishii for any sign that their lover growing erect on top of him was distressing, it was possible it would be after seeing Kakashi fucking him.  Ibiki massaged Kakashi's back and there was no doubt he was growing very aroused at their lover squirming on top of him, he was a bit quieter than 'normal' but  his Koishii did not show any strong distress.  Jiraiya relaxed as he saw  his partner's rapidly growing lust.

 

_Kakashi kissed his way up to his lover's ear, he was thrilled to hear him give a low groan of pleasure.  He kissed Ibiki's ear and begged, "Please... I want you in me."  Kakashi felt his partner's cock jump between them, flushing harder at the 'tease'._

 

Jiraiya had anticipated Kakashi's need and had drew lube, he began tempting his body into accepting the width of his fingers.  Kakashi gave a loud cry of delight pressing into Jiraiya's fingers as they fucked his ass, trembling and feverishly kissing Ibiki's chest and throat.

 

**Ibiki felt the last of his doubts fade, he was now sure his Saiai did not wish to fuck him.  The level of excitement he showed at the thought of being fucked far surpassed that he'd expressed at the idea of fucking Jiraiya.**

**Jiraiya's fingers slipped out and he nodded to Ibiki, their lover was ready, he would not hurt him.   Kakashi groaned at the loss of Jiraiya's fingers and begged Ibiki, "I want you on top please!"  Then rose off of his body, lay on the bed and urged him down to cover him, his legs rising and baring his entrance for his cock.  Ibiki slowly pushed in pausing just inside but his lover's muscles only flexed then relaxed, his Saiai's body was becoming used to the pleasure and eager for it.**

**Ibiki fucked him steadily, careful, gentle thrusts and he felt Kakashi's hands drop to his ass to beg for his strokes to be harder.  A chill swept through him, and he felt his Saiai's hands start to drop but then remain lightly on his ass.**

 

_Kakashi had felt his lover's flinch and nearly dropped his hands but he remembered Jiraiya's words, flinching was his trying to accept the touch and he should not drop his hands.  The muscles flexed, although Kakashi knew it was an anxious response and not pleasure he gave a soft groan, "I love feeling your muscles."_

 

**Ibiki's hesitation disappeared and he resumed fucking his beloved with a bit firmer thrusts, his lover wished to feel his muscles, it excited him.  There was nothing distressing about the men he loved touching his body and he found the firm clasp of Kakashi's hands to be arousing.  The feel of them pressing begging for more... it was very exciting knowing how greatly his lover wanted him.  He moaned as they cupped his ass urging him into faster strokes.**

**The rapturous cries of his Saiai as he came and the strong contractions of his muscles around his aching cock proved too great of pleasure to resist and Ibiki quickly reached his orgasm as well.  Kakashi's hands had slipped up to his back, his desire to have him remain covering him clear in the slightly firm grasp.  Although still panting at the ecstasy of his climax his Saiai proclaimed, "I love the feel of you in me... even now, covering me, your cum in me... it's so perfect!"**

 

Jiraiya's gaze intensified, but Ibiki remained relaxed.   He was sure the once 'forbidden' word still did cause some distress, but his Koishii was strong and he could handle it.  Jiraiya glanced over at the plate of fruits and smiled, It seemed he had found a new way to get his lovers to 'try' different fruits...

 

**Ibiki had rolled over to place their slender partner on top of him and now watched Jiraiya as his hands stroked over Kakashi's body.  Although he was afraid to hope he asked his Koishii, "Will you start buying fruit for us to try?" _Do you trust me... believe in my love..._**

 

_The question wasn't really about fruit, Kakashi could see there was more than just passing interest in Ibiki's eye, they looked hopefully in Jiraiya's eyes._

 

Jiraiya looked at the two men and surrendered his heart completely, he could trust them... they could love him forever.  "Yes."

 

**Ibiki took his hand drawing him down and kissed his Koishii, his heart full of joy, his Saiai looked just as overjoyed and now slipped over and embraced him happily.  Ibiki smiled, now he knew everything would be ok, Jiraiya had accepted his love and trusted in him once more.  The past was behind them, Jiraiya was truly here forever.**

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

**THE END OF CHAPTER 24**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 24: GOOD TO BE ALIVE (SKILLET)


	25. UNDIVIDED (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 25)

**UNDIVIDED (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 25)**

**\----------------------------------------------------**

**A few weeks had passed since they stabilized their relationship and Ibiki hesitated to add conflict to the peace.  He wanted to try more sexually but he wasn't sure it was a good idea to push after all they'd achieved, he should be satisfied with the way things were.**

 

Jiraiya could see longing in Ibiki's gaze, ever since the time he'd walked in and watched the rapture as Jiraiya came for the first time within their amazing lover, he often looked like he wished he could feel that pleasure.

 

**His Koishii had arrived to walk him home, he was a bit earlier than he usually was, but Kakashi would be there soon and they would walk home together.  His Saiai had already turned in his mission report and was down showering and changing out of his ANBU uniform.**

 

Jiraiya knew the best way to approach the subject was straight forward, it was something they all preferred, it had started with the easy way Kakashi always bluntly spoke his mind.  "Koishii, I can see you long to move forward... to be touched more intimately.  If you wish, we can slowly work towards the point where I can make love to you."

 

**It did not surprise him that Jiraiya knew, he was a very experienced lover and very adept at reading others but... "We can't.  I don't know how I'll react... you won't defend yourself."  It wasn't that he didn't think Jiraiya _could_ , he was certain his Koishii could do so easily... but he _wouldn't_.  **

 

Jiraiya saw how frightened his lover was, "It is worth the chance to me."  This was a big step and his beloved had many things troubling him that they would still need to work on first.

 

Ibiki shook his head, "Nothing is worth that chance to me."

 

Jiraiya nodded and enclosed his partner gently to his body, his hands lightly massaging his back and loosing the tensed muscles.  This was one of the things they had to work on, first he had to reassure his beloved that he would not hurt him.  His Koishii would always carry the memory of how he'd accidentally stabbed him and right now it was an obstacle that stood in the way of moving forward.  "I want you to strike me as Kakashi walks in."

 

Jiraiya could see the alarm in Ibiki's eyes, but he calmly replied, "I could hurt you."

 

Jiraiya smiled gently, but did not correct him, "It's important."  

 

Ibiki held his protest, but he still had not agreed to do it.

 

Jiraiya placed a loving kiss on his neck and urged, "Trust me Koishii, I will not let you harm me."  While that was true, he could easily block a strike from Ibiki, he also knew he would not have to.

 

**Ibiki nodded, his Saiai would be coming very soon now... Ibiki turned to put his reports away.**

**He didn't hear Jiraiya move and even knowing he was there and going to touch him it sent a spike of alarm through him when he suddenly grasped his arm.  There was no hesitation as he immediately turned and struck... No, attempted to strike, Kakashi had blocked it... he moved so swiftly, it was as if he'd just appeared.  This was his top ANBU, he'd seen and reacted to the situation instantly, without hesitation.**

**Kakashi looked serenely at him, "Are you ready to go home yet?"**

**Ibiki nodded and his eyes shifted to Jiraiya... he'd known.  It was too easy to forget his two lovers were extremely skilled veteran Shinobi, and he was so very grateful they were.  His Saiai was calmly studying him when his gaze returned to meet his.**

**Then Kakashi leaned in and kissed him, Ibiki wrapped an arm around him and his body eagerly reacted to the feel of his lover.  Kakashi broke the kiss and looked down at the outline of his erection then met his eyes, "I want to feel you in me."**

**Ibiki felt Jiraiya's body lightly cup his from behind and his Koishii placed a kiss on the side of his neck.  It was a bit surprising that Kakashi wasn't bothered by the fact that he'd attempted to strike their partner.  Ibiki glanced back at Jiraiya and he smiled reassuringly, "You did not hear me approach, you did nothing wrong."**

**Kakashi nodded agreement, his fingers now brushing over Ibiki's chest, tracing his muscles.  Ibiki's breath hitched, he gently caught his hand and teased, "I think this might be a very good time to go home."  His lovers touches had brought a strong need to feel their bodies against his... and yes, Jiraiya was right, he wanted to try to move forward towards the freedom to do what he wanted without fear.**

 

====================================

 

As they walked in the door Kakashi turned and molded his body to Ibiki's.  Jiraiya gave an amused smile but his eyes were dark with desire as he watched.  Ibiki was attempting to remove Kakashi's clothes while responding to his fevered kisses.  He seemed to be doing well enough and Jiraiya decided to help by baring his Koishii's body.

 

_Ibiki's breath caught and Kakashi drew back from their kiss to look up at Jiraiya with delight, then kiss and lick Ibiki's body as their partner bared it.  He wanted them both so much, needed to feel Ibiki's cock deep in his body!  It would be very difficult to wait as he prepared him_.

 

**Ibiki could see by the way Kakashi shivered that he was extremely aroused.  He drew him back into a kiss before turning him around towards Jiraiya cupping his body to his own and stroking it.  His Koishii sank down before their beautiful lover and his mouth covered his aching length skillfully teasing it until Kakashi was urgently crying out, his hips bucking into the temptation of Jiraiya's mouth as he reached his climax.**   

 

Jiraiya kissed his way up his lover's lithe form and purred.  "Mmmm... so sexy."   Then groaned in pleasure as Ibiki drew him close kissing him passionately, their bodies enclosing their sensual partner between them as they kissed. 

 

He could feel Kakashi's breathing quicken and they broke the kiss to tease him.  Jiraiya just could not get enough of his enticing lover's fevered moans of rapture, a feeling he knew Ibiki agreed with.  He tempted his Myobu until he was whimpering in desire once more, the tip of his tongue traced his beloved's ear, teasing him until he quivered. 

 

_Kakashi shivered in pleasure and his body started to become aroused again, the tease of both his lover's hard cocks against him was glorious!  He gave a wanton cry as Ibiki rocked his cock against his ass.  The tease was quite effective and his cock flushed hard against Jiraiya's taut stomach, the feel of his cloth covered erection beside his own brought a plea for more.  "I need to feel you... both of you", he glanced back at Ibiki and rubbed his ass against the tempting swollen length of his cock, this brought the added tease of his own arousal brushing against Jiraiya's bound flesh_.

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh and met his Koishii's eyes, "If we keep this up he'll tease us mercilessly with his cries as we prepare him."  Ibiki nodded, placed a kiss on their lover's shoulder and backed up.  Jiraiya stepped back and they all went to the bedroom.

 

**As they followed Jiraiya into the bedroom, Ibiki met his Saiai's eyes and gave a slight nod towards their partner's fully clothed body.  Kakashi's eyes lit with delight and as the three men entered the room Kakashi drew Jiraiya to a stop.  He kissed him passionately as his fingers unfastened the buttons of his shirt.**

**Ibiki brushed the loose shirt off their partner and placed kisses down his back.  Kakashi unfastened Jiraiya's pants, then enclosed and stroked his cock as Ibiki kissed his way down over his Koishii's firm ass and drew them down, and then off.**

 

Jiraiya was surprised and ecstatic, he trembled in pleasure at the touches of both his lovers.  Soon he was breathlessly moaning.  Then gasped and cried out as Kakashi sank down to tease his throbbing  cock and Ibiki cupped him lightly from behind, his finger slipping between his cheeks and brushing teasing strokes over his entrance. 

 

Jiraiya groaned and trembled at the exquisite sensations his lovers were sending sweeping through him.  He looked down at his Myobu, Kakashi knelt before him looking up at him as he gave tempting swipes of his tongue over the engorged length.  Jiraiya reached down and stroked his cheek, "My beautiful Kitsune." 

 

Jiraiya felt the firm rub of his Koishii's finger over the center of his entrance and decided it was time to do a bit of teasing of his own.  He loosened his muscles welcoming his lover's finger into the hot tight hold of his body. 

 

**His tease of Jiraiya had an unforeseen 'complication', Ibiki groaned at the feel of his lover's amazing ass drawing on his finger, his cock pounding in demand to feel the wonderful grasp around it**. 

 

Jiraiya smirked, he knew his Koishii would be tempted greatly by the feel of his body... His amusement disappeared in a wave of rapture as Kakashi enclosed the head of his cock and sucked it, his tongue probing the hole.  His two lovers had succeeded in their attempt to tease him until he was fevered with lust and he gave a urgent cry, "Please, Koishii I need you!"

 

_Kakashi drew back and rose, his eyes wide and delighted, they'd excited Jiraiya until he was desperate for them!  He looked back at Ibiki and amended that, both his lovers were now extremely aroused, this was going to be incredible_!

 

Ibiki groaned wrapping his arms around Jiraiya and kissing his throat and shoulders,  "I need you so much!" 

 

Jiraiya turned, drew him to the bed and positioning him to lay on his back, then immediately slipped up to straddle him and ecstatically pushed down on his beloved's cock to the base.  Ibiki grasped his hips, bucking up as Jiraiya began feverishly fucking himself on the wonderful length.

 

_Kakashi sat on the bed watching happily, his lover's were so very arousing!  The rapid urgent way they fucked and their cries of rapture teased him greatly.  His cock throbbed at the sight but he would not have given this up even to be fucked!_  

 

Jiraiya arched letting his beloved's turgid flesh tease his pleasure spot but resisting his climax as long as he could before giving in and the strength of his orgasm was so intense he howled in rapture, his muscles drawing powerfully Ibiki's cock and bringing ecstatic cries from his lover as he bucked, cumming within his spasming passage.  

 

_When his partners cried out in their climax, Kakashi slipped down and his finger trailed over Jiraiya's rim and Ibiki's balls.  Their soft moan at the feel excited him and he slowly brushed a pulse of chakra around Jiraiya's filled entrance, hearing the shocked cries of rapture from both his lovers at the sensation.  Jiraiya looked back, his gaze encouraging and Kakashi began teasing them with caresses of his fingers sending pulses of chakra over Jiraiya's ass and Ibiki's balls_.

 

Jiraiya gasped loudly, Kakashi was getting very good at this!  All his Myobu's fingers now traced points of chakra over their bodies  and he could feel Ibiki flush hard at the astounding pleasure.   Although it felt amazing he had not forgotten that his enthralling Kitsune had wanted to be fucked by Ibiki.  He dipped his head to his Koishii's ear, then whimpered as an exquisite pulse played over his filled entrance, but murmured, "I want to see you fucking our sexy tormentor." 

 

**Ibiki nodded, then groaned at the glorious feel of his Saiai's fingers, before breathlessly agreeing, "That sounds like a very good idea**." 

 

Jiraiya looked back at Kakashi, "You are so incredible my provocative  Myobu."  He lifted off Ibiki's cock and guided their partner down to lay on his back beside Ibiki, parted his legs and lay between them kissing his thighs and feathering his finger's over Kakashi's erection, his lover's uninhibited cries of ecstasy brought him such great joy.

 

_Kakashi felt Jiraiya's hands slip under the cheeks of his ass and drew his legs up to bent as his beloved's tongue traced the sensitive flesh of his rim, it did not take long before he was quivering and his body eager for Jiraiya's touch.  Ibiki lay on his side his fingers tracing circles around his nipples and teasing the gathered buds with light brushes of his finger_.

 

Jiraiya looked over and saw his Koishii had placed the lube beside Kakashi's hip, within easy reach.  He dampened a finger, then began circling and tempting their lover's body.  As excited as his Myobu was, he eagerly welcomed his finger into his body, his muscles flexing lightly before accepting it and after a few strokes Jiraiya was able to slip another finger into the firm grasp of his partner's body.  Again his lover's body easily accepted it and quickly he was able to push another finger in... he sent a small wave of chakra into his partner's extraordinary body and heard his beloved give a rapturous cry, his body so eager now that it was almost sucking his gathered fingers into the depths. 

 

Jiraiya gave his thigh another kiss, then slipped his fingers out and moved over to sit beside him as Ibiki covered their seductive lover, pressing into the ecstasy of his body and both men moaned at the deep pleasure.

 

**His Saiai wrapped his legs around his waist rocking into his thrusts urgently.  Ibiki groaned at the divine feel of his lover's body, his strokes growing faster as he grew more excited.  He wanted to watch his Saiai's face and see his Koishii caressing him as he sank into the wonderful hold of his lover's ass.  Kakashi's legs fell away from his waist as Ibiki rose to his knees.  He draped his beloved's legs over his arms and he grew more careful as he continued fucking him.  Ibiki's eyes rose to meet Jiraiya's for a moment urging him to touch their partner, then returned to his gorgeous lover's face.**

 

Jiraiya took the invitation, but instead of wrapping his hand around Kakashi's turgid flesh he knew something better, something that would tease both his lovers.  He slipped his hand beneath his Myobu's cock, laid his palm flat and pressed down gently. Kakashi wailed in ecstasy as every thrust of Ibiki's cock rubbed firmly over his prostate. 

 

Jiraiya smiled as both his partners cried out at the extreme pleasure and, as Kakashi reached his climax, Jiraiya took the last step, sending waves of chakra into him.  Ibiki cried out, arching and remaining buried in the depths of their lover as his cock jumped repeatedly in powerful orgasms and Kakashi howled in rapture, cumming until he was spent. 

 

Jiraiya slipped his hand out from beneath the sated flesh and stroked both his lover's tenderly.  Ibiki lay lightly covering Kakashi, both their bodies now gratified to the point that they could no longer grow aroused and they just felt pleasure at his gentle caresses.

 

**After a few moments, he kissed his Saiai, then rose off him and all three men went to shower... then he would cook their evening meal.  They'd been so aroused by the time they reached home that they'd not given thought to it... but then this was not the first time by far, and who could blame him for becoming 'distracted' when he had such incredible lovers!**

 

=================================

 

Before both his lovers left in the morning Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's cheek and informed him, "Kakashi has a mission today, it should not take him too long."

 

_Jiraiya nodded and Kakashi hugged him quietly, once more doing the now familiar routine of placing his hand on Jiraiya's chest, feeling his warm skin and the steady beat of his heart, it was soothing in so many ways.  He would touch Ibiki before going to dress for the mission_.

 

After both his lover's left, Jiraiya sat down to proof a few of his novels chapters and wait for his lovers to  return.  He was so grateful that his Koishii felt he could tell him when their partner would be gone and when he should be back so he didn't worry.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki returned to the house early, there wasn't any missions to assign, his paperwork was caught up... and most of all, he wanted to feel Jiraiya's touch.**

**"Koishii!"  Jiraiya sounded delighted, he put his writing in the drawer before walking over and embracing him.  The love in his Koishii's eyes brought a secure warm feeling, this was 'home'.  He could see his lover was aroused, but then it was not unusual for him to be aroused while writing given the type of things he wrote.**  

 

Ibiki's gaze slipped down to Jiraiya's erection then lifted to meet his without distress, only an answering passion.  There had been many years working up to this, they'd come a long way and they would slowly reach their goal.  He no longer had to be careful not to press his arousal against his Koishii. 

 

Jiraiya nuzzled then side of his lover's throat and purred, "Mmmm... I love the feel of you."  As a reply Ibiki cupped his head drawing him into a passionate kiss.  His partner was home early and this would be the perfect time to see if they could take another step towards his beloved's freedom from the abuse in his past.

 

Jiraiya traced a scar down his throat with the tip of his tongue his experienced touch smoothly baring his lover's chest to continue down.

 

[b] **Ibiki groaned softly, his beloved was incredible, his every touch ecstasy... which brought to mind the words he wished to say, "Jiraiya I want you, I want your touch..."**

**Jiraiya met his eyes with an understanding one, he knew what he was asking for without him needing to come out and say it... he wanted to try to accept Jiraiya in him.  The knowledge of what he asked for made his heart race... he fought against his fear, he wanted this, but it was a bit harder to 'want it' when faced with 'doing it'.**

**"Let's go to the bedroom.  Jiraiya urged, but before turning to walk in his fingers caressed Ibiki's trapped erection easing his nervousness a bit.  This was his beloved, he would not hurt him.**

 

Ibiki was anxious, uncertain what he would do and yet he trusted him, it was not a trust Jiraiya would ever break.  When his beloved entered Jiraiya resumed removing his clothes, kissing down his torso as he bared his body.   Soon his Koishii was groaning, this too was a step they'd successfully achieved, the ability to be touched and have his clothes removed by his lovers. 

 

Jiraiya shed his own clothes and drew his partner down on top of him on the bed.  Ibiki straddled him and Jiraiya positioned his cock so it would rub against his beloved's ass if either rocked, then his hands dropped away to rest on the bed. 

 

**Ibiki was extremely aware of Jiraiya's erection pressed against his ass, the sensation was growing increasingly distressing.  Ibiki trembled, yes he'd felt pleasure at his skilled lover's touch as he removed his clothes but the fear he felt now was much stronger... he'd asked for this, would Jiraiya try to push inside?  If he did how would he react to it?  Everything seemed so much more uncertain now, and he wasn't sure this was a good idea**.

 

"Ibiki, my amazing Koishii.  I love you so very much.  I love the feel of your body covering mine."  Jiraiya hoped the reminder that he was in the dominant position and could move away anytime he wished would help.

 

But his Koishii trembled harder, his voice hoarse, "I don't think I can do this." 

 

Jiraiya crooned soothingly, "No one is asking you to do anything, you are doing only what gives you pleasure no more, you can move away at any time."

 

Ibiki was quiet, his gaze still uncertain, but his trembling had lightened.

 

**Jiraiya was not wishing to fuck him... He was offering to give him pleasure, just like when his beloved welcomed him into his body.  No one was going to do anything.  He could do whatever he liked... his Koishii didn't expected anything.  Ibiki drew a deep breath trying to still the rapid pound of his heart.  Jiraiya wasn't touching him... there was no 'demand', he didn't grasp or hold him, his hands now remained on the bed.**

 

"Ibiki."  Jiraiya crooned, he could feel that his beloved's muscles still remained tensed and soothed.  "I love you; every smile, every kiss... every moment with you, brings me such happiness."  The tension in his Koishii's body eased, he still seemed a bit withdrawn, but no longer frightened only uneasy.

 

**Ibiki looked his beloved in the eyes, "I feel the same way, I am so blessed to have your love."  This did not have anything to do with what happened to him with his captors.  This was the man he loved and all they were doing was feeling each other's bodies, finding enjoyment in the feel of their lover's body against theirs.  Jiraiya would give him a great amount of pleasure just as he'd done so many times if he could just relax.**

**Ibiki pressed down slightly feeling his partner's cock against his rim.  At first it brought a surge of fear but he moved away and the next time he pressed down a bit the fear was not as great.  His lover's erection was just touching him... not pushing inside, not hurting**.  

 

Ibiki hesitantly rocked his hips and Jiraiya felt the extraordinary pleasure of his lover's ass stroking his cock.  Jiraiya gave a soft whimper, although he attempted not to make a sound.  At least he managed not to cry out at the incredible sensation, but the strong waves of ecstasy were enough to bring tears to his eyes.  This was more important than the pleasure and he tried to keep that foremost in his thoughts.

 

**Ibiki hesitated, it had not felt bad, Jiraiya had not moved... he rocked his hips again and felt his Koishii tremble.  He focused on his face and saw the tears gather in his eyes at the effort not to cry out,  this was his beloved, he could do this... he wanted to do this, to hear his partner crying out in rapture as he experienced the sensation of his lover moving against him.**

 

Jiraiya felt a tear roll down his cheek as his beloved began steadily rocking his hips, rubbing Jiraiya's aching cock with the exquisite pleasure of his ass.  Ibiki kissed the tear lovingly, then his lips before urging, "Let me hear your pleasure."

 

Jiraiya cried out in ecstasy trembling and panting "Koishii you feel wonderful! " 

 

**The sound of his partner's ecstasy was so familiar it wiped away his remaining hesitation and he moaned in pleasure as Jiraiya's cock teased his ass.  "Mmm Jiraiya... ah, it feels so good."  He knew this glorious feeling, it was not something distressing.**

**Jiraiya gave a delighted cry and placed adoring kisses over his neck and cheeks, happy tears slipping down his cheeks, "My amazing strong Koishii, I love you!"   Ibiki wanted to hear his beloved's howls of rapture and concentrated on that as he pressed into the rub of Jiraiya's cock feeling it moving rapidly against his rim and Ibiki moaned ecstatically as he climaxed.**  

 

Jiraiya gave a fevered cry and bucked cumming between Ibiki's firm cheeks, then he stilled and watched his beloved looking for signs it distressed him.

 

Quietly Ibiki spoke, "I want... a bit more.  Can you..."

 

Jiraiya massaged his back and waited, he was certain his strong Koishii wanted to push further.  This had not been distressing and only brought incredible pleasure, it was something they'd done before many times, although it started out a bit frightening for him.

 

**Ibiki wasn't sure he could say it, he wanted to try to feel his finger within him.  But was it fair to ask it of his Koishii?  It was likely he'd react badly, in what way he wasn't certain, but there was no doubt it would be highly distressing.**

**"Anything Koishii... I will do anything for you."  Jiraiya vowed.**

**Yes, his beloved had proven that over and over, been hurt so many times.  Ibiki drew a rough breath, "I want to feel your finger... rubbing over my entrance..."  These were things he could do, they had brought him pleasure not fear and safer than asking for Jiraiya to push inside when he was feeling so anxious.**

**Jiraiya nodded, his one hand returned to lay on the bed and slowly his other fingers traced the part of his cheeks teasing him.**

**Ibiki studied his compassionate partner's face trying to remain focused on the present. The damp trails of his beloved's tears, so many times he'd brought those tears in pain and heartbreak not joy.  He'd almost lost his Koishii so many times... the feel of his finger was something he should enjoy... or at least accept... he was so lucky to have Jiraiya.**

 

Ibiki had not made a sound, he had not tensed and moved away, or shown any sign he was aware of his finger sliding over his slick entrance.  Then Ibiki spoke softly, "Do you really believe someday I will be free... not controlled by my past?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, his eyes sincere, "You are amazing, you have done things no one else could have done, came so far... I know you can.  I have no doubt." 

 

**Ibiki could feel his beloved's firm muscular body beneath him... from the first moment they kissed he'd known Jiraiya was who he'd needed.  "I'm afraid."**

**Jiraiya gave an understanding little smile, but it was full of sadness, "I know... I would do anything to change the past to wipe away all that was done."**

**Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "I know."  His beloved wouldn't ever do anything to hurt him, he drew a rough breath and trusted,  "I want to feel your finger inside me."**

**Jiraiya gently shook his head, "Not yet, trust me Koishii... this isn't the time yet, it will come."  He caressed Ibiki's cheek softly.  "Can I lick you?"**  

 

Ibiki nodded and slipped off him to lay on the bed, Jiraiya took the lube and set it within reach, his Koishii watched calmly.   Jiraiya felt pleasure as Ibiki did not tense at the gentle urge of his hands to part his legs.  He lay between them and licked his lover's balls, teasing the sensitive strip behind them as his hand stroked his beloved's erection until he was swollen with need and crying out breathless with passion.  Then he took the engorged length in his mouth, but only continued the seduction.

 

Jiraiya wanted Ibiki to be aware of what he was going to do, to 'surprise' him would not be a helpful thing.  He paused, lifting his mouth from the straining flesh, and his eyes met partner's as he drew lube on his finger.  There was anxiety in his Koishii's gaze, but no strong distress. 

 

Jiraiya returned to sucking and bobbing on his lover's turgid length.  The slight flinch he gave as Jiraiya's damp finger rested against his rim was understandable and not a sign they needed to stop.  Although he continued, Jiraiya remained intently reading his Koishii.  Even as he sucked his cock, his hand rested on Ibiki's stomach feeling his level of tension and he listened, monitoring the sound of his breaths.  But most of all, he waited to see if his lover could accept it or decided that the finger resting on his rim was a 'threat'.

 

**Jiraiya's finger didn't move, it didn't press, it just remained lightly resting there as his lover gave him extreme pleasure with his talented mouth.  As he neared his climax he could feel the soft circle of his beloved's finger, the wonderful sensation of the tender area being stroked along with the extraordinary rapture of his lover's mouth brought strong surges of pleasure.**

**Ibiki pressed down against Jiraiya's finger, the rub was much firmer, but it wasn't alarming.  He was familiar with that sensation, familiar with the firm rub of his lover's cock against his entrance as they thrust.  His partner's hips rocking and the sounds of his ecstasy... right now he wanted that.  "I want to feel your cock rubbing against me Jiraiya."**

 

Jiraiya thought about his request for a brief moment, he asked for this... but did he really want it?  Either way he'd asked and Jiraiya would not deny his beloved, he slipped up and lightly covered him.  He was stunned as he felt Ibiki's legs wrap around his waist, his ass tilted up into the glide of Jiraiya's cock over his entrance.  Ibiki groaned, and urged, "I want to hear you, Koishii!"

 

Jiraiya relaxed a bit, giving long moans of delight and rising need at the strong pleasure, but even more so at the knowledge that Ibiki really had wanted this, that he'd chosen to do it without being encouraged or coaxed!

 

**Jiraiya's cries excited him, the feel of his erection against him... he trusted his Koishii, he knew he would not press in and relaxed as much as possible, letting his lover's rapture and the feel of his flesh rubbing against him bring rapidly growing surges of ecstasy.  Soon Ibiki could not resist his need for release any longer, but before giving in he urged his beloved, "Cum against me... let me feel you, feel your pleasure."**

 

Jiraiya gave a rapturous cry and his cock jumped, damping the tempting flesh and feeling his last thrusts glide smoothly over the tender area. Ibiki cried out rocking his hips as he reached his orgasm, bucking his cock against Jiraiya and in turn continuing the glide of his cock against the area.  Now sated once more, Ibiki lowered his legs and the two men lay catching their breath.  Jiraiya started to slip off his lover to lay beside him, but Ibiki asked,  "Stay Koishii... just a few more minutes." 

 

Jiraiya studied his eyes then nodded, the feel of drying cum on his partner's ass may be highly disturbing for him and he wasn't sure this was such a good idea, but it was something his beloved desired and so they would.  Ibiki had pressed further than Jiraiya was planning on and it had turned out well. 

 

Ibiki stroked his face lovingly, "You are so incredible, I never imagined one day I'd even be able to be touched.  All this is a tremendous gift from you... love and a future without fear.  You are so very precious to me and I want to show you that every moment of every day."

 

Jiraiya felt a strong well of love for his amazing beloved, it was not him that had achieved this progress only stood beside and supported him.  His Koishii had brought this change for himself, dared to reach beyond his limits for something more,  he was blessed to have such an extraordinary man love him.

 

Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, "I love you Koishii."  After a moment he urged, "Let's go shower... Will Kakashi return soon?"  He had asked to distract Ibiki from any distress he felt, but it was also something he wanted to know.

 

Ibiki nodded, "He completed his mission and will be back sometime this afternoon." 

 

Jiraiya rose off his beloved, his gaze now watching for signs the sensation of cum on his Koishii's ass was upsetting him.

 

**Ibiki saw how intently Jiraiya watched him, yes he was definitely a lion.  Protective, even when he seemed relaxed he remained vigilant, aware of the things happening around him without seeming to even be paying close attention to them.  "I love you Jiraiya."**

**Jiraiya's eyes filled with love, "My wonderful Koishii, I love you now and always."**

**They walked into the bathroom and began to shower when they 'felt' Kakashi's return, he was always careful not to surprise them, often using a bit of chakra in some way so that even if they were 'distracted' they immediately knew it was him.   All three men were very familiar with each other's chakra signatures by now.**

**A moment later Kakashi joined them in the shower embracing him lovingly from behind, his arms wrapped gently around Ibiki's waist.**

 

_Almost immediately he started to harden at the feel of one of his lover's bodies pressed to his and he loosened his grasp to step back.  But Ibiki took his arms drawing them around his waist again so Kakashi's body was molded to his._

 

**He didn't look back, he wasn't sure he wouldn't react and he didn't want to see his Saiai's eyes fill with sadness. "I want to feel you harden against me."**

**Kakashi said nothing, but placed kisses over his back leaning slightly into Ibiki as his cock hardened against his ass.**

**This was important, he wanted the same level of trust with his Saiai as he had with Jiraiya, he thought about how the feel of his lover's bodies only brought pleasure... _their_ erections against him brought pleasure not pain.  He glanced over at Jiraiya, he was very uncertain he should ask... it seemed like he was 'asking' to react, provoking himself and yet he found he really did want it so he asked, "Koishii, please cup me from the front..."  **

**Ibiki glanced back at his wonderful Saiai, this really wasn't fair to him.  He'd just returned from a mission and now was placed in a potentially volatile situation.  Kakashi nuzzled him and murmured, "I would do anything  for you."**

**Ibiki nodded, "I... want you to rock your hips, to rub your cock against my rim."  He didn't have to even look to know that Kakashi was now looking to Jiraiya for reassurance.  He was thankful they had Jiraiya, he could soothe their beautiful lover if he reacted 'badly'.**

 

Jiraiya stroked his Myobu's cheek and crooned, "You can give him pleasure.  Let him feel your body teasing his and listen to the exquisite cries of need and ecstasy your body brings from him."  Jiraiya saw that his words had aroused both his partners a bit more and was pleased.  When filled with passion and need Ibiki had an easier time accepting things and Kakashi's distress had been feeding his uncertainty.

 

**Ibiki felt Kakashi's cock jump, flushing harder at the tease of their partner's seductive purr.   Although still uneasy himself, Jiraiya's words excited him as well and a bit of his anxiety faded.  "I want to feel you Saiai."**

**Kakashi's hands feathered over Ibiki's shoulders and upper back caressing his sensitive skin and kissing his neck as his cock brushed and tempted, lightly grazing against him.**

 

Jiraiya saw Kakashi's hesitation and wrapped his arms around Ibiki's waist grasping Kakashi's hips and encouraging his firmer rub.  Then nuzzled Ibiki's ear and murmured, "You are the one in control, no one will do anything you do not wish."

 

Ibiki had not gave cries of pleasure yet, although he was not looking distressed only uncertain.  Jiraiya decided he required a bit more 'stimulation', he wrapped his hand around his lover's swollen length stroking and pausing until his beloved was tempted into thrusting into his hand.  Jiraiya's other hand kept Kakashi pressed to Ibiki so as he bucked into Jiraiya's hold he was rubbing his rim against Kakashi's cock firmly. 

 

**Ibiki moaned in delight, his lover's were incredible!  They brought such extreme ecstasy that he was growing fevered with it and rapidly nearing his climax.   The rapturous cries of his Saiai at the feel of their bodies moving against each other and the experienced caress of Jiraiya hand.   As he came, Ibiki bucked into the enthralling hold of his Koishii's hand then pressed back and listened to Kakashi's breathless wail of pleasure as he reached his orgasm.  The jump of his lover's cock against him still brought a quick spike of fear but the kisses his Saiai was raining over his shoulders , and the light stroke of Jiraiya's fingers on his chest reassured and kept him focused on the present and the two men he loved so strongly.**

**For a few minutes after Ibiki and Kakashi climaxed, the three men remained embraced.  It was a strange feeling being nude and enclosed by them but he fought back his uneasiness and tried to relax between them.**

 

Jiraiya could see Ibiki was becoming distressed by being 'restricted' and released Kakashi's hip, then stepped back a bit giving him room, but smiling lovingly at him and urged, "We should finish showering."  He drew Kakashi over to in front of him and held him, placing a soft kiss on his temple as they waited. 

 

**Ibiki accepted the unspoken offer to wash first.  He was grateful for his amazing lovers, with them he was starting to believe it was possible, that one day he could be 'made love to'.  He fought back a spike of distress at the idea of a cock in him...**

**"Ibiki." Jiraiya crooned.**

**Ibiki looked back to see both his partners looking at him with love in their eyes.  No, it wouldn't be 'a cock'.  If it happened it would be the man he loved in him, it was not the same.  Although he thought that, it was still difficult to imagine being able to accept it.  He finished washing and stepped out of the spray, then Jiraiya urged Kakashi into the stream.**

 

Jiraiya embraced his Koishii, this had been a lot to attempt in one day he was still looking a bit uneasy.  He needed the stability and comfort of their usual routine.  Kakashi finished and Jiraiya washed and followed his lovers out of the shower.

 

After drying and dressing they all went out to the kitchen, Ibiki was already looking more relaxed, making a meal as he always did while they watched him and commented on their day or interesting things they'd seen or heard.    

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

_The next morning was the usual quiet companionship they all valued so much, both he and Jiraiya kissed Ibiki and he left to go work.  Kakashi had the day off and he knew exactly what he wanted to do... he wanted to feel Jiraiya.  He turned to look his lover in the eyes, "I want to feel you in me."_

 

Jiraiya was very aware of his gorgeous Myobu's erection, it was much too enticing to leave hidden by cloth.  He gathered his lover close placing kisses up his throat to his ear, his warm breath teased the sensitive area.  "Gladly my love."

 

Kakashi whimpered and bucked softly against Jiraiya's thigh at the outstanding sensation, then asked, "Can I take your clothes off?  I want to give you pleasure like you give me."

 

Jiraiya nodded, his gaze affectionate.   Kakashi looked delighted, his Myobu's fingers brushed over his body.  Then nimble fingers unfastened his shirt and the exquisite pleasure of his lover's mouth trailed down his chest.  Jiraiya groaned.  "That feels wonderful!" 

 

_Kakashi's gaze dropped to his beloved's cloth bound cock with longing, but then he continued kissing his way down Jiraiya's chest pausing to suck on his lover's nipples until they were tightly budded.  Then blew softly over one as he looked up to watch Jiraiya's face.  Jiraiya moaned, but even if he had not his pleasure was evident by the slight jump of his cock.  Kakashi was growing very aroused, the knowledge that he was teasing his experienced lover made his heart race._

 

His gorgeous Myobu wanted to be free to touch him how he wished and Jiraiya did not try to touch him, leaving the seductive man explore the reactions he got from each move of his hand or kiss.  His fingers trailed over his body, tempting him, although his caress had not yet came near his cock Jiraiya was growing extremely excited.  He longed to touch him but tried to rein in his need, he was not going to take this pleasure from his Myobu.

 

As Kakashi's fingers dropped to Jiraiya's pants and he looked up into his eyes.  "I want to take you in my mouth." 

 

Jiraiya gave an encouraging smile and teased, "I'm sure I will enjoy that _greatly_ Myobu." 

 

Kakashi bared Jiraiya's cock his hand stroking over the engorged length, his lips parted in a soft excited pant, then reluctantly released it to draw his pants down and off.  But he did not rise, only wrapped his hand around the shaft once more, his soft lips teasing the swollen flesh with kisses that quickly turned to sucks as Kakashi became more aroused.  His tongue stroked over the sensitive head as Jiraiya groaned, "Myobu!  Your mouth is amazing!"  

 

_Kakashi felt a surge of pleasure at his beloved's words and delighted in his breathless cries as he continued teasing his rigid length.  Stroking the shaft as he teased the flushed head with feathers of his tongue and sucked the hard flesh ecstatically.  He stroked it with his mouth as his hand continued caressing the shaft and heard Jiraiya moan rapturously._

_He drew back as his beloved's balls tightened, just as Jiraiya had taught him.  His hand stroking the whole length and a finger tracing the head as his partner cried out, his hips giving a gentle buck as he climaxed.  Then covered the tempting flesh and eagerly sucked until he'd receive another softer buck and his lover's cum in his mouth.  He gladly sucked and licked until he could not tease any more from his beloved._

 

Kakashi looked up his eyes dark with desire.  "I need you."

 

Jiraiya drew him up, his hands caressing and quickly stripping his clothes away.  As he drew his beloved's pants down he flicked his tongue on the sensitive head of his cock, delighting in the ecstatic cries of his Myobu.  His hand slid around to rest on his lover's firm ass, then a finger slipped between the cheeks, softly brushing over his rim as he began sucking on the head of his tantalizing erection.  Kakashi was quivering in lust, giving wanton little mews that tempted Jiraiya so greatly that his cock was quickly swollen with need once more.  Jiraiya rose leading him over to the couch and grabbed the lube, thankful that they now had bottles in the living room as well as bedroom.

 

He dampened his finger,  Kakashi  gave a pleading look as Jiraiya's finger rested on his rim.  It was a long tease when he prepared him slowly, but then he was assured of not hurting his Myobu.  Kakashi's slight press urged him to finger him, but he only cautiously rubbed with a slick finger.

 

_Kakashi tried to loosen his muscles so he could prepare him faster, he wanted his skilled lover's finger inside bring ecstasy with every thrust.  Jiraiya pressed a bit firmer, and his damp finger slipped in.  Kakashi gasped and mewed in delight as his beloved slowly stroked his finger into him._

 

Although his lover was beginning to be able to loosen his muscles, Jiraiya was careful, he didn't wish to hurt him.  Kakashi rocked on his finger, eagerly fucking himself upon it.  Jiraiya grasped his hip stilling him and gently pushed a second finger in, again cautiously moving them within his beloved's sensual body. 

 

Kakashi shivered in pleasure, and Jiraiya loosened his grasp on his Myobu's hip allowing him to rock slowly.  As he felt his partner's body loosen eagerly for his fingers he grasped Kakashi's hip, once more stilling him.  His beloved was trying to go a bit too fast and while he had not hurt himself Jiraiya was not willing to chance it.  Carefully he pushed a third finger into the hot grasp and slowly fucked him with the thickness, Kakashi moaned and pressed into the thrusts.  Jiraiya was growing a bit concerned, he nuzzled up to his lover's ear and urged, "Don't go too fast Myobu... " 

 

Kakashi cupped Jiraiya's face, kissing him passionately, then replied, "I will not injure myself or cause strong pain, trust me."

 

Jiraiya relaxed, released his hip and stroked his cheek, "I trust you sweet Myobu."  It was not a lie, he did trust him he'd just gotten so used to being careful, and to finding out after that his lover's were in strong pain... it had been extremely distressing, but his beloved would not do that.  He trusted him.  Kakashi rocked into his gathered fingers fucking himself on them until his body had accepted them completely.

 

Jiraiya slid his fingers out of his lover and grasped his hips gently but did not try to stop his Myobu as he positioned his cock and pressed lightly.   Jiraiya gave a soft whimper, as his arousal slipped through the taut muscles into his beloved.  It felt so incredible! 

 

_Kakashi paused a few moments kissing his partner's chest then slowly sank down, groaning ecstatically at the feel of his lover's cock as it came to rest in him to the base.  His body felt so full!  It was a very exciting feeling and not one he wished to give up, "Touch me please!"_

 

Jiraiya stroked chakra circles around his lover's nipples not touching the peaks as they budded desperate for his touch.  Then took one between his fingers rolling the nipple gently between his fingers and getting fevered response.  His beloved's hips rocked slightly and Jiraiya  gave soft moan, his fingers moving to the other nipple as he flicked the first until they were aching and tightly budded.  Then cupped lover's hips, lifting him halfway up the length as he sucked on first one then the other, flicking the tips with his tongue. 

 

_Kakashi breathlessly cried out and his hips bucked at the pleasure.  Now very excited, he began rocking his hips fast, rubbing his cock against Jiraiya's firm body as his exceptional lover teased his nipples. His rapid thrusts against his beloved were urgent, his body growing desperate for release.  Panting and shivering he stopped and took Jiraiya's hand bringing it to the base of his cock, "Please not yet!"_

 

Jiraiya understood his sexy lover's request to have his orgasm stopped and positioned his thumb to stop his climax.  Then resumed teasing his nipples as his beloved's  cock jumped, bucking into his hold but prevented from release.  Kakashi gasped,  "More!  Please!" 

 

Jiraiya freed his nipples, his one hand brushing chakra over his swollen length and balls, as his finger traced the soft skin beneath, and his thumb rested pressing at the base.  Kakashi wailed, his cock bucking rapidly, but prevented from his orgasm.

 

Kakashi's riveting bi-color eyes were dark with hunger, but there was no doubt how greatly he was enjoying it.  "Jiraiya!  All of you please!"

 

Jiraiya lowered him to the base, his gorgeous lover showed no sign he wished to be allowed to cum although his ass now grasped Jiraiya's cock firmly and he was breathless in rapture and need.  Again his precious Myobu  tried to cum and gasped loudly, then kissed him feverishly as Jiraiya's finger traced chakra around his tightly stretched entrance.

 

Jiraiya moaned as his sensual beloved sucked on his pulse point, teasing him.  His partner's body quivering at the urgency of his need, a feeling that echoed Jiraiya's own strong need, but for his cherished Kitsune he would resist as long as he wanted more.  Kakashi drew back and nodded, Jiraiya held his hip bracing him down as he stroked the turgid flesh and took his seductive lover over the top.  Kakashi howled as he came, his body contracting powerfully around Jiraiya's cock, he groaned at the powerful temptation and listened to his Myobu's cries of ecstasy.

 

_The rapturous feel of his lover inside him, the thick engorged length deep within him as his body clenched hard and contracted rapidly around it.  It felt amazing!  The unyielding thickness keeping his body full was perfect!  To his delight Jiraiya's finger traced strong chakra pulses around his rim and his body continued grasping and rippling around his beloved, bringing waves of ecstasy, "Jiraiya!  You feel so good!"  He clung to Jiraiya, his hips tilted forward baring his tightly filled entrance and he wailed in rapture as the spasms continued until he was trembling and completely sated._

 

Kakashi was drenched in sweat, his cheeks flushed as he lay against Jiraiya panting and caressing his chest, and then softly murmured, "You fill me so full... it feels so good." 

 

Jiraiya kissed his damp brow, "You are going to be sore.... _everywhere."_ The long tease had kept all his muscles in his body clenched tight.  Kakashi wrapped his arms around his waist and sighed, "A bit sore but it is worth it."

 

His Myobu had no idea how greatly this extended tease had teased him as well, but he would not let him know that, his beloved was sore and he'd never wish him to be in pain for him.

 

Jiraiya smiled, it was very delightful to watch his lover writhing crying out in rapture and desperate need... "So sexy."  Jiraiya continued to ignore the painful pounding of his cock and just focus on his partner, this was nothing he had not done many times before... although with his sensual Myobu it was harder than with any other lover he'd ever had.

  

_Kakashi cuddled against his beloved, "Did I distress you?"_

_Jiraiya massaged his back tenderly, "No Myobu, I do trust you."_

_His gentle caresses felt so wonderful.  Kakashi felt secure, loved... wanted, everything he'd craved for so long but had never imagined he'd receive.  Being a bit sore later was not disturbing to him, but he still wasn't certain Jiraiya wouldn't be upset later.  He drew back and met his beloved's eyes, "Are you upset I will be sore?"_

 

Jiraiya thought about it a moment and concluded, "No."  Kakashi had gotten great pleasure from this and he should feel free to try new things, to not be restricted... and achy muscles were different than the pain he'd have gotten from being thrust into... although his incredible lover had solved that too.  Still as long as his gorgeous partner did not desire more he wouldn't, his Myobu's muscles ached and he was more important than release.  He was so very grateful that he had this exceptional man's love.

 

His lover's beautiful bi-colored eyes still met his sincerely, "I know my muscles will be sore, but can I feel you moving in me?  I love the feel of you, the sound of your pleasure." 

 

_He could feel his lover's engorged length still deep inside him, he'd been teasing him greatly and yet Jiraiya had made no indication of how greatly he needed to cum.  His beloved had only focused on his desires, but even though Kakashi's body was sore, this need was one they both could enjoy fulfilling._

 

Jiraiya nodded, he knew Kakashi really wanted this, it was not just to give him pleasure.  His amazing beloved rose to his knees embracing him and placing kisses over his neck.  Jiraiya's breath caught as his extraordinary Kitsune swept aside his hair and placed soft kisses on the sensitive area at the back of his neck.  "Mmmm..." Jiraiya groaned in delight, his hips carefully rocking in slow strokes into the heavenly grasp of his lover's body.  As his beloved's body loosened to welcome his thrusts, they grew faster and quickly both men were giving rapturous cries.  The freedom to thrust without fear of hurting him was such a profound gift his Myobu had given him and the fact he'd sought a way to give him this freedom made this pleasure all the more powerful.  "Myobu!  I love you!"

 

_Kakashi clung to him as he reached his orgasm his muscles rippling around his lover's turgid flesh.  Jiraiya gave a last few bucks and came with an ecstatic moan.  Kakashi kissed him tenderly and replied, "I love you Jiraiya, forever, I will never let you go."_

_Jiraiya smiled, "And I will never leave, I will stay always."_

_Kakashi gave a contented smile and rested against his lover's body once more._

\------------------------------------------------------------------

**END OF CHAPTER 25**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 25: 'UNDIVIDED' (ADELITAS WAY)


	26. SOMETHING MORE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 26)

**SOMETHING MORE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 26)**

 

======================

 

Jiraiya met Ibiki as he was getting ready to leave his office for the day.  Ibiki smiled and kissed him tenderly,  "Koishii, I just finished up and we can go."

 

Jiraiya wanted to continue 'reassuring' Ibiki that he would not injure him and he teased, "I have sparred with Kakashi many times... but never you, will you spar with me?"

 

Ibiki studied his eyes then nodded, "We can use the lower training room." 

 

Kakashi wouldn't be home for a few more hours, they had time before he would come home.  Jiraiya smiled, "Yes, Kakashi and I often spar there."

 

**The two men walked out of his office and down to the lower levels.  Ibiki was aware of why Jiraiya wished to do this, he wanted to calm his fears that he'd hurt him... but it brought a very uneasy feeling... He'd seen Jiraiya fight, the memory was linked to other much more distressing ones... like seeing his blood soaked body laying on the floor, kunai protruding from nearly every section of his body.  Of course that was only the first time he'd seen him near death... the next time was when he'd stabbed his beloved... how could he ever trust him after that?**

Jiraiya was growing worried, Ibiki was much too quiet, his expression grim.  He stopped and drew his beloved close, they were now in an unoccupied area below the common areas of the building.  "Koishii, we do not have to spar."  Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, holding him lightly as he massaged his back.  "Would you like to talk about what is troubling you?"

 

Ibiki stroked his chest softly and Jiraiya covered his hand pressing it to his chest, "I am not hurt, what happened was terrible but it was a mistake and in the past.  Ibiki drew a strained breath and released it in a sigh his muscles relaxing a bit.  "It is more than that... the times I've seen you fight are not the best of memories."

 

Jiraiya nuzzled him and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. "Let's go home, this was a bad idea."

 

Ibiki shook his head, his eyes had lost the haunted look and he replied, "No, it's not a bad idea, it's time to replace those memories with better ones."

 

**Jiraiya smiled his eyes full of deep love, "You are incredible my Koishii, so strong."**

**Ibiki kissed him and replied, "How could I not be with such strong support from my two extraordinary partners... "  They continued into the sparring room and Ibiki removed his outer shirt leaving just the mesh undershirt.  When he looked over at Jiraiya his lover was looking at him with desire, but Jiraiya just lightly teased.  "Now that's not fair, you are trying to distract me... and it's very effective!"**

**Ibiki smiled, "I have to use my advantages."  Although he teased, he knew his body would not be a sexual distraction for most, only one of horror.  But it really was sexy to his lovers, it still surprised him but it was true.**

 

Jiraiya laughed, he was happy that Ibiki had relaxed enough to tease him back, they walked out to the center of the room and took their stance.  Both now focused on sparring.  Jiraiya was relieved as Ibiki took the offense, he did not hesitate although he remained focused on keeping the force from his strikes.  Jiraiya blocked and tried to maneuver him into making an error by subtlety edging him back towards the side where his ability to defend would be hampered.  Ibiki's keen gaze put an end to that, he was much too experienced and would not fall into such an easy trap.  

 

**The longer they sparred the more relaxed Ibiki felt, no longer trying to hold back the force of his strikes... but it did not matter since not a single strike landed.  Jiraiya looked delighted as he blocked every strike, but Ibiki did not get the impression he was being mocked, Jiraiya looked like he was truly enjoying sparring.  When a strike finally landed it was immediately clear it had been planned as Jiraiya used the moment to very effectively throw him off balance and Ibiki was forced to retreat.**

**Jiraiya smiled, his playful grin putting an end to the match, and he teased, "Oh yes, you are definitely using your enthralling body to your advantage..."  his voice lowered to a seductive purr that immediately awaked very eager areas of Ibiki's body.  "Mmm the way your clothing is clinging to your amazing body makes me so excited I may not be able to wait to get home."**

**Ibiki quirked an eyebrow and added his own tease, "Don't tempt me, I think that's a outstanding  idea."**

**Jiraiya laughed, as they gathered their clothes and walked towards the door it was with a relaxed and contented feeling.  Ibiki was glad he had agreed to spar, he'd forgotten what a relief of tension it was... but then he could not exactly spar with his men so his training had been solitary and a chance to spar had not been an option.**

 

Jiraiya could see the way his beloved now relaxed, he should have asked him sooner, this had been good for him.  "I would like to do this again sometime."

 

Ibiki nodded, "So would I... maybe one day I'll actually be able to land a strike without it being allowed as  part of a plan to counter strike."

 

Jiraiya laughed, "I'm sure you will... I did not allow the strike only took advantage of an opening to counter... although I'd rather have used the chance to draw you against me."  Ibiki's strikes held tremendous power and not blocking them was not an viable option.

 

Ibiki looked over his eyes dark with passion, "I think we should forgo walking, I can't wait to touch you."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he drew his beloved close and made the hand signs, the feel of his lover against him felt so wonderful that even after they were in the house he didn't release him for a moment.

 

**Ibiki was stunned to see in that instant that he'd transported them both out of the secured building to their home.  "You and Kakashi are the only ones who ever broke through the barrier against transporting."**

**Jiraiya gave a little laugh, "Kakashi is very strong."**

**His skilled hands were already baring Ibiki's skin as his mouth teased the sensitive scar tissue of his throat, but his eyes held love not just lust, his strokes tender caresses not just an attempt to strip him, although they were very effectively doing that.**

**Once Jiraiya had bared his body, he stroked over him appreciatively, "You are exceptional in so many ways... you make me want to kiss every inch of you."**

**Although his lover said that they both knew it wasn't possible... not yet, but Ibiki was determined that someday it would be.  Jiraiya stripped away his own clothes and they went to shower... at least that was the idea although they both knew they'd would not be able to resist having sex before washing.**

 

=======================================

 

_Kakashi had just put his mission report in the basket and was leaving the office when Zonzai stepped in front of him at a 'polite distance'.  "I'm very sorry, I should not have touched you... either time.  Please forgive me."_

_Kakashi knew he was not effectively hiding his emotions, he was confused and felt like everyone around was watching him.  What was he supposed to say... was there something he was supposed to do?_

_Iruka quietly joined them and smiled at Zonzai, "I'm sure he understands, thank you for apologizing, but I think Kakashi is tired after his mission."_

_Kakashi nodded and quickly left.  He didn't want apologies, he didn't want attention... he just wanted to be left alone.  It was times like this that he wasn't sure he'd ever know what it was like to be 'normal'  to easily talk to others... he didn't even know what to say.  What did others say to each other?  How did they know what words to use, what subject was a 'good' one..._

_Another thing that baffled him was that, just like when Zonzai touched him, Iruka had saw he was distressed and came to help.  It was all very confusing, no, it was not very likely 'causal talk'  would ever be a skill he'd have, but as long as he had Ibiki and Jiraiya, nothing else mattered.  He hurried towards home and the perfect embrace of his lovers._

 

Iruka hope he hadn't made that more awkward, but he had a feeling Kakashi was uncomfortable and he really did approve of Zonzai apologizing in front of everyone in the office.  A few of the older Jounin gave approving nods.  Iruka looked at the report in Zonzai's hand, "Are you ready to turn it in?" 

 

Zonzai nodded, he looked more relaxed now.  After Iruka had talked to him about Kakashi's feelings, the way he'd 'hurt' Kakashi had clearly been weighing on his mind.  Iruka took the report looked it over and nodded, "See you the day after your R&R." 

 

Zonzai smiled and walked out, Iruka shook his head, the report was full of little errors but he'd fix them this time.  Sukima walked up to Iruka's desk and placed his report in the basket waiting for him to review it, he had actually done very good.  "Enjoy your day off."

 

Sukima gave a relieved smile and hurried after Zonzai, he was still trying very hard to get on Zonzai's good side again, he'd damaged their friendship with his last stunt.  As for Sukima apologizing to Kakashi himself, Iruka did not believe that was likely, every time Kakashi was within 5 ft from him he fled.  Ibiki had definitely terrified him... he didn't know how gentle Ibiki really was, he would not harm someone out of anger.  Still fear worked in their favor, it had certainly straightened up Sukima's behavior.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya followed Ibiki into the shower and was not surprised when his beloved turned, cupped his head and drew him into a passionate kiss.  What did surprise him was what his lover did next, Ibiki's tongue traced the part of Jiraiya's lips and teasing his tongue with strokes tempting him to follow it.  Jiraiya was surprised, but answered the request with soft darts of his tongue teasing Ibiki's lips and he cautiously deepened the kiss.  His heart raced in excitement as his beloved's lips parted and his Koishii not only accepted his tongue in his mouth but drew on his tongue gently teasing it.  It had been a long time coming to this point, his Koishii had remained a bit hesitant and only did this a very few times, but he felt no sign of hesitation from him now.   

 

Jiraiya's hand's grazed slowly down his lover's back but then slipped around to enclose Ibiki's swollen length stroking him and his other hand teased the tender head with whisper soft circles of his fingers and light pulses of chakra.

 

"Oh Koishii! " Ibiki moaned at the intense pleasure and rocked into his strokes.

 

 Jiraiya watched his beloved, enjoying the ecstasy on his face and purred, "So sexy... every cry from your lips..."

 

**Ibiki groaned,  "Every touch is heaven Koishii..." this time he remained aware of how his words would hurt his lover and stopped before he called him an Angel. "So extraordinary." His hips bucked into the tight enclosure and he cried out ecstatically as his partner's finger rested on the head of his cock sending pulses playing over it and bringing breathless cries of rapture as his cock jumped in a very powerful orgasm.**

 

Jiraiya knew, his beloved had remembered not to call him an Angel...  he wished that was possible for himself to disassociate the endearment 'Angel' from his past, but it would always hurt to remember how many had left him.  Ibiki cupped his head and kissed him lovingly, then looked in his eyes and stated sincerely, "I will never leave you... Kakashi will never leave you... we will love you forever."

 

Jiraiya smiled.  He believed them, his lovers would not leave him, and he replied, "I will never leave, I will love you both always."  After a tender kiss another few moments of holding each other, Ibiki drew back and they washed.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

**After the shower they dried and walked into the bedroom, Ibiki had made a decision, he caressed Jiraiya's face and his beloved looked seriously back at him.   Ibiki wanted to ask something that he wasn't sure his Koishii would wish him to try.  "Jiraiya... I want to take you in my mouth, I want to suck your cock."**

**Jiraiya's eyes widened slightly and he started slowly shaking his head, "Please Koishii..."**

**Ibiki stroked his cheek gently, if Jiraiya couldn't bear it he wouldn't ask again, he did not want to distress his beloved.**

 

Jiraiya felt a bit panicked, having his tongue in his mouth was a one thing  but this was so much more!  He didn't want to do this, but he was holding Ibiki back from trying to handle another area of his abuse. 

 

"Why?"  If he was going to allow it he had to be sure this was not something his precious lover was doing because he felt it was necessary to do it for him.  "You know I'll never ask..."

 

Ibiki leaned in and kissed him stopping his words then murmured, "I know, I want this... I see the pleasure you and Kakashi give each other and I want it." 

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "Only if I am laying down... stop if... " Jiraiya drew a deep breath and released it in a sigh then gave a little smile, "You know."

 

**Ibiki nodded, "If it becomes too frightening."**

**As confident as he was attempting to act, he really wasn't sure he could do it... the idea sent spikes of distress through him and he was sure his partner could see that.  Would there ever be a time when he could do this without anxiety... he hoped so, all he could do was try and not give up.**

**Jiraiya lay down on the bed his arms resting immobile on the bed, Ibiki dipped his head but couldn't make himself take his lover's engorged cock in his mouth.  He didn't want to give up yet, Ibiki started kissing his chest by the time he reached his beloved's pelvis, Jiraiya was trembling in need.**

**Ibiki placed kisses on the tender expanse of his Koishii's pelvis, slowly he gained courage, the sounds of ecstasy coming from his partner inflamed his own lust.  He licked the smooth head and heard Jiraiya's whimper... it reminded him how he'd teased his beloved until he was in pain last time he'd done this... but he could not make himself take his lover's erection in his mouth, not yet.  Maybe he should give up.**

**"Koishii"  Jiraiya crooned softly, his tone reassuring and calming.**

**Ibiki looked up into his partner's concerned gaze and then back to his cock, he could do this, give his beloved pleasure.  His hand enclosed his lover's erection, he licked the head... then sucked on it.  Jiraiya gave fevered cries of rapture, trembling... it suddenly occurred to him that while his Koishii often took he and Kakashi's cock in his mouth, very few times did Kakashi take him in his mouth and he'd only 'attempted' a few times... he wanted to be able to give this pleasure to him just like he gave it to them.**

**Ibiki's hand slid down further exposing some the shaft, as he sucked on the firm head he tried to make himself take a bit more in.  The sudden powerful memory of cocks pounding into his throat made him draw back quickly and he sat looking at Jiraiya's erection in distress.  Even if he told himself it wasn't the same... it wasn't them, the memory was just too strong, the taste of blood and cum one he'd never forget.  He wanted this so much, but would it ever be possible?**

 

"Talk to me Koishii... why do you wish this?"  Jiraiya was hoping that reminding him of the pleasure he and Kakashi gave each other would help dull the distress now visible in his dark eyes.

 

Ibiki quietly replied, "You enjoy feeling him in your mouth... feeling me in your mouth.  I want that... you have no idea how much I want that.  To touch you both and taste your bodies, hear the ecstasy I give you..."   His lover's haunted gaze had not lifted from his cock.

 

"Koishii will you come up here for a moment?"  He was not asking him to stop trying only to allow him to comfort him.  Ibiki slipped up to beside him and Jiraiya caressed his cheek, "Can we try a different way?"

 

Ibiki nodded, Jiraiya could see his beloved was placing a lot of value on being able to take this step.  He remembered now that his Koishii was not as distressed when Jiraiya's hand had enclosed their lover's erection as he sucked it.  And his beloved had even felt confident enough that he'd licked cum off their partner's body, the memory gave him an idea.

 

**Ibiki watched as Jiraiya stroked himself then wrapped his hand around his partner's.  Jiraiya moaned and cried out in pleasure, his hand falling away to allow Ibiki to stroke him, he looked between Jiraiya's cock and his face as he stroked him.  The rapture on his Koishii's face was mesmerizing... his erection wasn't as threatening now.  He watched with interest as his lover's cock jumped in his grasp as he climaxed, then dipped his head to lick the semi flaccid length.**

**The taste of his cum made his heart hammer but the flesh was not rigid with the desire to thrust into his mouth.  As he licked it and sucked softly on the head, he heard Jiraiya's gasps and groans at the 'tease'.  Feeling the flesh harden once more in his mouth wasn't as alarming.  His tongue explored the hardening length as he moved slightly on it tempting it with his mouth until it was swollen with need again.   Ibiki lifted his mouth from his beloved's erection stroking him and circling his thumb over the head slowly as Jiraiya trembled in ecstasy his moans growing more fevered until he cried out as he came again.**

**This was his lover's body, the man he loved deeply... his cries of ecstasy were at the pleasure that he was giving to him.  Ibiki licked the head of his partner's cock, the taste of his cum was less alarming this time.  His mouth covered his beloved's cock again, his tongue caressing over the sensitive skin until he felt it gradually start to harden again.**

**The flesh felt so soft, silky as he licked and sucked on the head, he listened to his lover's loud cries of pleasure and his mouth explored his semi-erect length.  The sounds were so like the cries of rapture Kakashi gave as Jiraiya brought him release with his mouth... and it was how he felt when his Koishii was sucking his cock.**

**As his lover grew erect Ibiki lifted his head and his hand enclosed his cock caressing it and teasing the tender flesh until Jiraiya cried out as he reached his climax again.  The repeated demands brought less cum each time, he enclosed the soft length in his mouth, drawing back slowly as he sucked then slipped down again and drew on it as his head lifted.  By the third time he could feel his partner's body struggle to become aroused again.**

 

Jiraiya trembled in exhaustion but did not stop his Koishii's exploration, he was doing well with accepting his cock in his mouth when he was not completely erect... and it was becoming 'easier' to not harden quickly as Ibiki brought him to orgasm repeatedly!

 

**Ibiki sucked and bobbed on Jiraiya's very slowly hardening length, teasing the flesh and feeling it moving  in his mouth, even after he'd teased him hard he continued until his beloved gasped, "Koishii I'm going to cum!"**

**He wanted to hear his lover's cry of rapture, to know it was his mouth that brought his partner such strong pleasure and continued even after the warning.  The slight spurt of cum brought a strong spike of distress, but it faded quickly as he released his beloved's sated length and focused only on his exhausted lover.  He slid up to hold him, Jiraiya's muscles quivered at the rapidly repeated orgasms.  Ibiki kissed him softly, "I'm sorry."**

 

Jiraiya smiled tenderly, "Don't be sorry..."  he cupped his face keeping him focused for all his words,  "Your mouth felt so good, but it was the fact you _wished_ to do it that made it so wonderful."

 

Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's face, "You are... perfect."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I love you Koishii."  Ibiki was still working on disassociating the word with what had happened.  As they rose from the bed Jiraiya wanted to groan his balls ached at the repeated demands of his body, but it was worth it, that last time his beloved had known he was going to cum but stayed with his mouth covering his cock, his strong Koishii.

 

**Ibiki felt guilty about what he was going to say, it was wrong to ask but he still did. "Jiraiya when we... when you fuck..."**

 

Jiraiya shook his head, gathered him close and placed loving kisses over his partner's face, "I will _never_ fuck you.  I will make love to you when you wish to take that step.  If you choose never to take that step, it changes nothing, I will love you the same and respect every step you have made towards a life free of the past.  Koishii, you are amazing no matter what you do, or choose not to do."

 

**Ibiki relaxed into his beloved, with him he did not have to be strong, he could show his fears and his Koishii would help.  "I don't want Kakashi to be there... I don't know how I'll react."  Ibiki explained.  The idea of upsetting his Saiai was very distressing, he didn't want him to be frightened or hurt and quite often he reacted... badly.**

**Jiraiya caressed his cheek, "Do not try to protect him, he is stronger than you think.  We will discuss it with him.   If he wishes to be present... no matter how you react he will understand and accept you.  He will wish to soothe you, and it may distress him, but he can handle it."**

**The two men continued into the bathroom to take another shower, although Ibiki didn't really need another he was still feeling uneasy and wanted to be near Jiraiya, to touch him and remain focused on the present and how lucky he was to have such extraordinary men love him.**

**Jiraiya nuzzled his neck, gently he crooned, "Koishii, I love you so much.  I would do anything to take away all they did to you."**

**Ibiki focused on his lover's worried face, "No one can change what happened, but you are helping me put it in the past  so I can move forward without longing for things and fearing to do them."**

**Both he and Ibiki looked towards the bathroom door, Kakashi had walked into the house, soon he would join them.  The minute he walked in both men could see their lover was uneasy and needed soothing.  Both of them enclosed him, cradled between them he gave a deep sigh the tension easing from his posture.**

_Kakashi looked at his intuitive partner's, they could see he needed them and gave him the comfort he craved without questioning why... this here was all he needed, all he'd ever need, this blanket of love and security.  They gave him the stability and reassurance he'd yearned for, everything would always be ok with his lovers there beside him.   He closed his eyes in pleasure as he felt Jiraiya placing light kisses over his shoulders,  then opened them to look up over his shoulder at him.  "That feels good."  He still lacked the words at times to say all he wanted, but his partners always understood what he was trying to say._

_Jiraiya gave him an adoring smile, "I'm glad Myobu."_

_Kakashi turned his attention to Ibiki softly brushing his fingers over his cheek, touching and being touched felt so good.  This affection was like water after a long hike, a comfort that he was extremely grateful for... but as they held him his body took it as an offer of sex and he hardened against Ibiki_.[/i] 

 

Ibiki looked amused, but his eyes had filled with desire, his own cock very much in agreement with the idea.  Jiraiya looked at his two seductive lovers, everything about them made him wish to touch them, to taste their bodies and hear their cries.  His hand dropped to bush light pulses of chakra over Kakashi's erection, hearing his captivating mews of ecstasy, the tease quickly had him panting.   Ibiki watched with delight, then groaned deeply as Jiraiya's other hand cupped and rolled his balls gently. 

 

He watched his precious ones rapture, tempting them further as his touch grew firmer then enclosing  both his lovers cocks and stroking.  Ibiki moaned deeply and his hand rose to join Jiraiya's.  Jiraiya brought Kakashi's hand up so both his partners were cupping their erections and bucking against each other, his hands now free, he had much more temping places to touch.

 

Ibiki gasped and Kakashi mewed arching into his thrusts as Jiraiya's finger's teased the heads of their cocks with soft feathers and occasional strong pulses of chakra.  He couldn't resist taking it further and, as the two men urgently thrust into their joined hands, his finger traced the part of his Myobu's exquisite ass.  Every rock of his hips tempting him between pressing into the tease of Jiraiya's finger and bucking into the pleasure of he and Ibiki's touch.  

 

Jiraiya cupped him lightly from behind and purred in Kakashi's ear. "Don't cum my gorgeous Myobu." then slipped a finger between the firm globes and every rock of his lover's hips now rubbed his finger over the tender area.  His sensual partner's thrusts grew feverish as the tease of his finger continued.  Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "So sexy... can you bear a bit more?"

 

Breathlessly Kakashi nodded.  Jiraiya could see Ibiki's extreme excitement as he watched their lover's face, the ecstasy on it... the strong need.  It made his Koishii's own hunger flare powerfully and he was teased as fevered as his lover.  Jiraiya sent a pulse of chakra over the sensitive area and heard his beloved's howl of pleasure and the urgent cry of his Koishii at the increasing fevered thrusts. 

 

Jiraiya purred in his Myobu's ear, "Cum for me."  his finger rested pressed firmly to the tight tempting entrance of his beloved's body sending powerful waves over the area that had him keening in need.  His rapid buck against Ibiki's cock brought ecstatic cries from his Koishii and both his lover's howled in  rapture as they reached their climax.

 

Jiraiya's finger slipped away, both his exhausted partners were panting and Ibiki cradled Kakashi to his body.   Jiraiya smiled.  This was even better than having an orgasm, seeing his lover's ecstasy, their bodies trembling in passion and bringing cries of rapture from them.

 

**Ibiki kissed his Saiai's brow then looked over at  Jiraiya, "You are amazing my Koishii."  Kakashi nodded and Jiraiya placed a kiss on his shoulder then gently brushed a kiss over Ibiki's lips.  "I have exceptional partners." Jiraiya replied.**

 

They washed up and had a quick meal before finally ending the night laying together and caressing each other, it was perfect.

 

===================

 

The next evening Kakashi arrived home a bit before Ibiki, before they walked up to meet their lover Jiraiya brought up their partner's concern.  "Myobu, Ibiki is worried that when he decides he wished to have sex with me,  that he will react badly and upset you." 

 

Kakashi nodded, "I understand, I can accept if things go badly.  I want to be there and comfort him, even if it is only verbally."

 

Jiraiya smiled and kissed him, "I know together we _all_ can handle anything that he finds upsetting."

 

Kakashi nodded he stroked Jiraiya's cheek, then slipped on his mask and they walked out.  The whole way to the ANBU building his beloved seemed deep in thought.  It occurred to him that his Myobu may be feeling rejected by Ibiki at the assumption that it would be Jiraiya who would make love to him in that way and that their lover did not consider him. 

 

It would be easier for Ibiki physically, Kakashi was not excessively over endowed as he was.  Or it was possible that even the knowledge that their partner would be attempting to take Jiraiya inside was distressing to his Myobu... Jiraiya had caused his beloved pain before and Kakashi knew it was a possibility it may hurt their lover.  But how would Ibiki feel about Kakashi being the one he accepted inside him for the first time since his abuse... would Kakashi wish to?

 

He could not ask while they were out in public, his Myobu would be unable to respond, he had to admit it would be easier to 'help' if it was Kakashi and not himself.  He could help ease Ibiki's fears easier, make sure he got enjoyment from the experience.  Or was he just making excuses because he feared 'something going wrong' as well?  These were all things he would have to discuss with his lover's when they reached the privacy of their home.

 

**Their arrival in Ibiki's office was filled with the same joy he always felt when seeing his partners, he kissed Jiraiya and caressed his Saiai face tenderly.   Kakashi nuzzled Ibiki's throat and he groaned playfully but the desire in his voice was genuine.  "You are so tempting my beautiful Saiai."**

**His hand stroked down his body to his stomach and at the whimper his lover gave his hands slipped down further to feather over Kakashi's swollen length.  "So very tempting..."  he purred softly to tease him, heard his Saiai's mew and felt his cock flush harder.  His hand dropped away, there was no way Ibiki could not be aroused after hearing his lover's needy cry and he looked at Jiraiya.  "I think walking may be a bit difficult right now."**

**His Koishii had a very prominent erection as well after watching them teasing each other,  Jiraiya laughed, "Yes I suppose it may be best to skip the walk."**

**The three men walked out of the ANBU building before performing the hand signs.  It just would look wrong for Ibiki to flout his own 'rule' and he didn't think he could anyway, he'd never attempted to transport from inside the secured building.**

\-------------------

 

Once home Kakashi immediately turned and stroked Ibiki's body as Jiraiya easily stripped his Koishii freeing  his straining flesh.  Kakashi was very aroused and trembled in excitement but his request was not to have his needs met, "Jiraiya please suck his cock."

 

_He loved watching his lovers, the joy on Jiraiya's face and hearing the ecstatic cries of their lover, the urgent shivers as he was teased to his orgasm.  His partners were so arousing!_  

 

Jiraiya was very glad to fill that request, every look or cry from his Koishii as he sucked his cock was a temptation greater than any lover he'd ever had before he earned the love of his exceptional partners.

 

Jiraiya slipped down to kneel before him and teased the flushed head with a long slow stroke of his tongue that brought a gasp then a deep moan from his beloved.  He took the swollen length in his mouth and groaned in delight before slipping down to the base, he paused there to caress his balls before drawing back and teasing the shaft with brushes of his tongue. 

_As Jiraiya bobbed and caressed the hard flesh with his mouth Kakashi's heart pounded in excitement, every time their skilled lover slid down to the base his breath caught and his eyes rose to watch Ibiki's rapture.  This was a huge tease but he loved every minute of it!_

 

Ibiki was quickly overwhelmed with need, giving breathless cries and rocking into the tight hold .   Soon he couldn't resist the temptation any longer and gave in to the powerful urge to cum.  His Koishii continued teasing him until he gave another firm buck sating himself completely before releasing his gratified flesh.

 

Jiraiya wasn't sure if it would make his beloved anxious, he'd done it a few times before, but it seemed like the 'right' thing to do right now.  He slipped up and passionately kissed his Koishii, the taste of cum brought a brief hesitation from his lover but then Ibiki responded with a deep kiss, his  tongue stroking over Jiraiya's without hesitation.

 

When they broke the kiss Jiraiya caressed his face, "Koishii, I love taking your cock in my mouth. Your cries of ecstasy, feeling your body react to me... no one has ever gave me such deep pleasure.  The first time you let me take you in my mouth is one of my cherished memories.  I felt so honored that you would permit me to touch you, trust me, it was a priceless gift." 

 

Ibiki kissed him, "One of best decisions of my life..."  He looked over and took Kakashi's hand drawing him to them. "and kissing you was the other."

 

Kakashi was extremely aroused after watching his lovers,  his cock straining against the cloth of his pants.  As he stripped him, Jiraiya nuzzled his throat and purred, "Will you let me taste you Myobu?" 

 

Kakashi whimpered and shivered in excitement, then nodded eagerly.

 

Once he'd bared his enthralling body, Jiraiya lightly stroked down his sides, grasping his hips gently and giving the swollen head of his turgid cock a lick, Kakashi groaned his lips parted and his eyes full of desire.

 

Jiraiya teased him further by licking the underside of the shaft from his balls up to the head.  Kakashi gasped and moaned, his whole body trembling as Ibiki cupped him from behind, teasing his nipples and placing passionate kisses on his neck.  As always, Jiraiya was delighted by the uninhibited responses of his Myobu and he knew Ibiki was enjoying watching their seductive partner quiver in need for them.

 

Jiraiya rested his thumb at the base stopping him from cumming, then enclosed his gorgeous lover's cock in his mouth,  moaning as he slid down the length.  Slowly he drew back as his beloved cried out giving a buck into the temptation.  They'd teased him enough, Jiraiya slipped down to take his partner's cock in his throat, his hand cupped his lover's balls and sent teasing waves of chakra over the sensitive skin as he lifted his thumb. 

 

**Ibiki wrapped his arms around his Saiai supporting him as Kakashi wailed and rocked into the ecstasy... just hearing his beloved's cries had excited him and he was beginning to harden again.**

**He was constantly amazed by his lover's never before had there ever been two such arousing men... and he was blessed enough to have both as partners.**

 

Jiraiya rose to embrace his Myobu from the front and kiss him, the feel of Kakashi's soft hands freeing his cock brought a loud moan into their rapidly heating kiss. 

 

**[b]Ibiki placed a last kiss on his Saiai's sensitive throat and walked around to behind his Koishii, aiding Kakashi's efforts to bare his captivating body.  As he drew Jiraiya's pants down his finger traced the part tempting him and delighting as he cried out at the tease.  Ibiki sank down and drew his beloved's pants completely off, his finger slipped between the firm cheeks and stroked over his entrance.  Everything about his Koishii tempted him, he kissed the firm cheeks as he rose, then licked the tender spot at the base of his spine and was surprised at the strong reaction his lover had to the feel of his tongue there.**

 

_Kakashi was kissing Jiraiya's chest and when his lover gasped and bucked, he drew back and looked back to see where Ibiki had kissed.  A thrill swept through him as he realized Ibiki had found another place that teased their partner and sent waves of pleasure through him._

 

**Ibiki saw his Saiai's interest and stepped back allowing Kakashi to slip around behind Jiraiya to tease the area with Chakra.  His beautiful lover was ecstatic and he watched his Koishii's body tremble in pleasure a moment, then slipped around to enclose his cock, stroking the engorged length.  At first he didn't look at the swollen flesh, but then he thought about how his beloved had been aroused since they'd met in the office.  Jiraiya had once more ignored his own needs and only focused on their needs.**

**His eyes dropped to his lover's cock feeling the turgid length rocking into his thrusts urgently, this was his wonderful compassionate Koishii.   Ibiki watched as his partner's cock bucked and cupped Jiraiya's balls as he reached his orgasm, stroking of them and teasing him until his body was sated.  Then he looked at the cum on his hand and dampening the head of his beloved's cock, he looked up, uncertain he should try but the love in his partner's eyes decided it.  He sank down and licked his lover's sated length.  Jiraiya gasped, "Koishii!"**

Jiraiya was stunned Ibiki was knelt licking the cum off his cock, it was difficult not to become aroused at just the knowledge that it was Koishii voluntarily doing it.  And just watching him licking the tender head was beginning to excite him.  It was extremely bold, a very large step forward, perhaps too great of one.  This was not the time and he could not let him do this in this position no matter how glorious it felt.  "Koishii I need you to kiss me."

 

Jiraiya had felt the way Kakashi was clinging to him tightly, he was worried about Ibiki.   Ibiki released his semi flaccid cock and rose to kiss him passionately.  As he rose his Myobu's tight hold lightened, but Jiraiya knew he still remained uneasy. 

 

_Kakashi had embraced Jiraiya as Ibiki licked him, trying very hard not to show the anxiety that was rapidly escalating in him as he saw Jiraiya was becoming erect, or his strong relief that Jiraiya had asked Ibiki to stand up and kiss him.  He was interfering with his partner's efforts to help their lover past the abuse in his past... perhaps he should not stay when they had sex.  It was very important he not react like he just had, he couldn't show distress at Jiraiya's actions, but he wasn't sure he could refrain. Every look of anxiety from his beloved sent powerful waves of distress through him._

 

As he drew back from the kiss Jiraiya turned and took Kakashi's hand but only said, "I think we all would be more comfortable in the bedroom."

 

Once in the bedroom they lay stroking each other softly, after the way his Myobu had reacted to Ibiki taking him in his mouth... it was possible he feared he'd hurt him.   Jiraiya decided it was time to bring up the idea that Kakashi would be a better choice for Ibiki's attempt at taking someone inside him.  "I have been thinking about your decision to be made love to... when it is the right time I believe it would be best for Kakashi to..."

 

Kakashi looked panicked and yelped, "No!"

 

_He couldn't he could never do it... never!  Just the thought made his heart race in horror... to do what his captors had done, to see the fear in his eyes... and what if he hurt him!  He could not do it even if he **liked** toping, and he really wasn't sure he did, he could **never** do that to him!  He only fucked Jiraiya because his lover wished him to... but what if Ibiki wanted him to?  To his great relief Ibiki was shaking his head._

 

**Ibiki shook his head, "No... that  is not fair to Kakashi."  He'd only 'toped' a few times and was very uneasy when he did and he'd seen how distressed his Saiai was about him kneeling before Jiraiya as they had walked in.  "If you are worried about hurting me... I assure you your cock is not near as large as many of the things they used to..."**

Jiraiya stopped his words with a tender kiss, these were not good thoughts and he was beginning to doubt he was even close to ready to attempt it, not yet.  Still he corrected, "No matter what was... done.  Your muscles will clench, it is a natural reaction and is not changed by having had 'large items' inside you." 

 

Jiraiya could see Kakashi was still ashen, the thought of topping Ibiki horrified him, no they could not ask their less experienced partner to do it... if things didn't go well it could leave him afraid to top ever again.  Gently he coaxed, "Can we just lay together?  I wish to touch you."

 

Ibiki nodded his muscles tensing slightly, Jiraiya lay caressing his chest softly.  "Can Kakashi take you in his mouth?"

 

A flicker of surprise shown in Ibiki's eyes, but he nodded.  Jiraiya knew it would only cause him to tense more if he was touching him the way he planned on their lover touching him.  His Koishii knew Kakashi would not ever 'fuck' him... and his Myobu's reaction moments ago cemented that knowledge.

 

Kakashi slipped over and took Ibiki's rigid length in his mouth with evident joy, Jiraiya watched, his fingers still stroking tenderly over the sensitive scars of his beloved's chest. 

 

**Ibiki moaned at the astounding pleasure of his Saiai's mouth, and the light tease of his Koishii's fingers tracing his scars was quickly making him extremely aroused.**

 

Jiraiya placed kisses over Ibiki's chest and urged his Myobu, "Tease him with Chakra."  His beloved had a wonderful touch, he would give him pleasure without causing him stress.

 

Kakashi ecstatically did, caressing his balls with soft waves.

 

**The hum of the chakra playing over his balls teased him greatly and he was surprised to realize he wanted the strokes to brush over his rim.  Ibiki drew his legs up and gave louder breathless moans as the extraordinary stimulation continued down to beneath his balls and over his rim.**

 

Jiraiya had known Kakashi's touch would tease him, but he had not expected the surprised delight in Ibiki's response.  He was very happy his Koishii had discovered more pleasure in being touched on his ass.

 

_Kakashi could see their beloved was nearing his climax and drew back stroking until he bucked as he reached his  orgasm then covering the length for the softer bucks.  After Ibiki came he was still semi firm and Kakashi curiously pressed down relaxing his throat muscles and taking him into his throat a bit. It was a bit difficult to fight his bodies urge to deny his lover's cock pressing into his throat.  He drew back then did it again... much like when he pressed down on Jiraiya's cock with his body, it became a bit easier each time, his body growing familiar with the sensation._

 

**Ibiki was panting and trembling giving little cries of pleasure as his lover's throat parted slightly each time and allowed the sensitive head to begin to push into the tight heat.**

 

Jiraiya watched in approval, Kakashi was incredible, always finding ways to get the things he desired.  Soon he would be able to take their partner in his throat... but not this time.  Kakashi drew back and looked at Ibiki's rapidly hardening cock, then up at their lover, clearly delighted that his actions had teased him.   

 

**Ibiki was breathing hard but attempted to calm himself, it was nearly impossible with his enthralling  lovers, but they could at least go shower.  He really needed to cook their evening meal... it was a bit humorous that they often ate very late after 'greeting' each other.  "Let's go shower, then I'll cook something for our evening meal."**

 

Jiraiya smiled and teased, "Yes, I suppose we should eat."  He watched his Koishii rise from the bed, it was enough to leave him in a similar state as his beloved... a state that caught Ibiki's attention immediately upon turning to face him in the shower.

 

**His effort to calm himself was doomed to fail, at the sight of his Koishii's arousal, he felt a strong urge to feel his lover's body against his.  Kakashi watched with delight as he drew Jiraiya into a kiss that only added to both their bodies eager response.**

**When they broke the kiss, their two hands wrapped around their erections and they fucked the tight tunnel  they gave breathless moans.** **Ibiki tried to link the sight of his beloved's cock thrusting with the powerful surges of pleasure but right now he was only having minimal luck.  Picturing the thrust of Jiraiya's cock inside him brought a spike of distress so strong he nearly backed away but instead he pictured it just rubbing over his entrance... that brought strong waves of pleasure too...**   

 

_His lovers were so very exciting!  He loved watching them and seeing the way their bodies reacted to their partner's touch, and listening to their passionate cries.  Kakashi_ _watched the_ _rhythmic motion of  their hands,_ _occasionally glancing up at  Ibiki's face as their cocks were thrusting into their hands.  What he briefly saw was further confirmation that he could never fuck Ibiki... he had not missed the flash of alarm in his lover's eyes a moment ago.  He could never bear to see the distress on his face, he could never cause him fear like that, Jiraiya would know how to help ease his fears and bring him pleasure._

 

Jiraiya hadn't missed his Koishii's momentary alarm, he wondered what had brought it... it was likely that it was how his beloved knelt before him and took his cock in his mouth, he should have never allowed his Koishii to do that.  His not stopping him sooner had caused his Myobu anxiety too.  He hated causing either of his cherished ones distress, but soon he would have little choice.  When Ibiki was ready they would try to overcome a very major 'restriction', he would not be able to make it all pleasant, his beloved would definitely have moments of fear... and his Myobu moments of distress.

 

**Ibiki knew Jiraiya had not missed his anxiety and he was sure his Saiai had not either, in an effort to lighten the mood and reassure them he was ok he decided to try teasing Jiraiya verbally as he did so often to them.  "My sexy Koishii..."  he looked in his beloved's eyes as they continued to thrust rapidly into their joined hands. "With every thrust you can picture my cock sinking deep into your body as you give cries of rapture, teasing you until you bow into the thrust of my cock, urgently rocking to take me deep... needing me..."**

**Ibiki could see Jiraiya was surprised by his teasing and his Saiai was delighted.**

**Jiraiya returned the tease very effectively, "Every slide of your cock into the welcoming heat of my body bringing fevered cries of ecstasy... feeling my body stroking your aching length, grasping it as you buck into me... drawing on it as you tremble in rapture... the silky hold tightening around your swollen flesh as I cry out... "**

**His lover's seductive low purrs teased him until he couldn't hold back any longer and bucked firmly into the astounding pleasure of their joined hands as he reached his climax.  Then watched their hands as Jiraiya gave a firm buck and came.  Everything would be ok, his Koishii could help him get pleasure, but even as he thought that he couldn't imagine how it could ever be enjoyable.**

 

==================

 

**The next time Kakashi was gone, he and Jiraiya continued trying to work towards the day he could bear to be fucked.**

**When they walked into the bedroom they stripped and lay on the bed.  Jiraiya lay on his back, just as he had before.  And Ibiki lay on top of him, he parted his legs straddling his Koishii, reminding himself he could trust him and trying to keep his breathing slow and steady.**

**His beloved did not ask for or expect anything, but he felt a hint of uneasiness as he positioned his partner's cock to rub over his rim.  The cautious rock of Ibiki's hips brought breathless moans from his sensual lover, but Jiraiya remained still allowing him to rock against the temptation.  He knew the ecstasy feeling it stroking over his rim would bring if he could relax and accept it.**

**Jiraiya had left the lube near but made no indication he was planning on doing anything besides what they already were.  The pleasure just kept building, his entrance now pressed against his lover's erection, bringing exquisite waves of pleasure.**

**Ibiki knew they had to try to go further, these were the times they worked on this, he paused and hoarsely asked, "I want to feel you...  Inside."**

**Jiraiya nodded, but his cock did not press at the now tightly clenched muscles.  His finger dampened with lube teased the sensitive skin of his entrance the sensation so like the seductive feel of his Koishii's erection thrusting against him that his body slowly relaxed and he was giving long moans of ecstasy once more.**

**He gasped as a spark of chakra teased his rim and gave a louder delighted moan, the continued tease of his partner's finger continued and when Ibiki felt the rapturous pulse again he pressed into it.**

**Ibiki felt very uncertain as his lover's finger entered his body, but it did not push in further ... the tease of chakra coming from the unfamiliar intrusion steadily climbed, the ecstasy of the waves flowing over his entrance now flowed just inside as well... it felt so good, and left him trembling in need.  The desire to feel it deeper had steadily grown and Ibiki pressed down slowly feeling the wonderful pulses teasing deep inside him, he continued pressing down and crying out in rapture as the mind numbing pleasure continued to deep inside of him.**

**He rocked his hips slightly, gasped at the dual sensation of the pulses and his cock rubbing against Jiraiya's arousal, and rocked faster.  The movement of the rapturous pulses in him, and rub of his cock against his lover's was too incredible to deny and as he rocked against it, he swiftly reached his climax... the feel of an 'intrusion' as his muscles flexed brought a hint of uneasiness that immediately disappeared beneath pleasure as the surges of chakra teased him until he lay sated on his partner.**

**Jiraiya had not removed his finger, as Ibiki lay still on top of him he could feel his lover's finger inside him... it was an odd sensation, but not painful... no, it had not brought any pain at all.**

Jiraiya waited, his finger remained inside his beloved as his other massaged his back gently.  Ibiki was thinking about what they'd done... and the pleasure he'd received.  His muscles did not clench around his finger although they would if he moved it.

**Ibiki could feel Jiraiya's erection beneath him, although he'd told his Koishii to press into him he had not... instead he'd brought unbelievable waves of ecstasy, and the feel of his finger still inside his body only brought memories of the astounding sensations it had brought.  He looked up at his beloved and quietly spoke, "I liked it."**

**Jiraiya nodded, his expression deeply loving, "I enjoyed hearing your pleasure Koishii."**

**Jiraiya still did not look like he expected anything in spite of his finger still resting within him, he looked like he was waiting to see what he wished to do.  With only slight hesitation Ibiki said, "I want more..."**

**Jiraiya nodded but his finger did not begin moving in him, instead his other hand stroked down his ass to brush chakra around the filled entrance... it felt very good and his body rapidly grew aroused again.  The tease of the outside was joined by very soft pulses from his beloved's finger within him and Ibiki gave a surprised cry, his hips bucking and moving the finger within him.**

**As the pleasure quickly built Ibiki moaned and started rocking steadily on Jiraiya's finger and pressing down to rub his cock against the engorged length of his lover's cock.  Jiraiya gave low cries of ecstasy but his intent gaze remained focused on Ibiki's face.**

**"Koishii", he moaned, breathless with pleasure he rained fevered kisses over his lover's throat giving little groans of delight as he rocked his hips, the tease of his ass and the feel of his beloved's turgid cock rubbing against his own was pure rapture and it did not take him long before he was crying out in ecstasy as he came once more.  He lay thinking a moment, then kissed his Koishii passionately, "I want to take you in my mouth."**

**Jiraiya looked a touch concerned but did not protest, his finger still rested within Ibiki's body and  Ibiki shifted up feeling it slide from his body and brush over his rim... although unfamiliar, sensation felt so good it would have excited him if he hadn't just came.**

**Jiraiya's hands dropped to the bed, his eyes full of love and trust, Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "You are so amazing Koishii."**

**Jiraiya smiled lovingly, but his hands did not lift from the bed to touch him and as Ibiki trailed kisses down his body he gave delighted cries.  Ibiki felt anxiety as his mouth drew near the rigid length.... this was his Koishii, he want to hear the pleasure he could give him, he would never do anything to hurt him, he could trust him.**

**Ibiki kissed the head lightly, but could not take his partner's turgid flesh in his mouth, he enclosed Jiraiya's cock in his hand and stroked it, listening to the cries of passion his touch brought from his lover.  He really did want to feel him in his mouth and hear his howls of ecstasy... the memory of remaining as Jiraiya came last time it filled him with longing.  Although it had frightened him, hearing his beloved's cry of gratification and knowing he was giving him strong pleasure had made it bearable.**

**He watched his hand stroking his Koishii's cock, it did not look threatening... even when erect it brought no strong fear, but this was not enough.  Ibiki could see his beloved was about to cum and watched his rapture as his body bucked into his hand, then looked down at his cock and dared to lower his mouth and do as Kakashi did and covered the head as Jiraiya gave a last soft thrust.  The wave of horror he felt at the feel of a cock bucking into his mouth made him desperately want to back away... but he also wanted very much to feel his lover's body react to him and his ecstasy at the feel of his mouth.**

 

Jiraiya was alarmed, he wanted to grab Ibiki but could not break his trust and move. His wonderful Koishii was sitting with his head bowed looking down at his cock and Jiraiya fought back tears, becoming upset would not help his beloved handle his feelings.  Then to Jiraiya's shock his brave Koishii dipped his head and licked the sated length, surprising a cry of pleasure from him.  Ibiki looked up, he still looked haunted but Jiraiya could see he was trying to handle it.

 

**Ibiki met his Koishii's eyes, they were soothing... accepting.  His beloved would never ask for anything, but he was determined he would find ways to give him everything.  This was difficult but he'd done it, and the sight of his sated cock brought memories of Jiraiya's cries of rapture last time as he tasted his cock and tempted it erect.  Ibiki wanted to hear those cries, to feel the tender flesh in his mouth and have it harden in his mouth... he wasn't sure if he could remain after his lover was erect  but his Koishii didn't expect him to... he didn't expect anything, always giving everything and accepting what little he could get.**

**No, not any more, his precious Koishii deserved more and he could not give up trying to get his partners the freedom to touch him and to be able to do everything a lover should be able to do... this was the man he loved, the man who loved him... he wanted this very greatly.**

**Ibiki slipped up and kissed him gently, "I wish to continue."**

**Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "My sexy Koishii, I am yours, both my heart and my body... do what _you_ wish to."**

**Ibiki nuzzled him, his lover's words were both a reassurance and a reminder that he should not do anything he didn't wish to just for him.  "My amazing partner."**

**Ibiki slipped down and his hand caressed Jiraiya's cock lightly, getting used to the feel of him again... he remembered how the sensitive flesh had felt so silky in his mouth.  Ibiki took just the head in his mouth his tongue brushing over the tender skin and heard his Koishii's gasp of pleasure.  The sound tempted him and his hand slid back down to the base as his mouth covered and explored the soft flesh feeling it harden.  Jiraiya's moans were growing louder and Ibiki pictured his Saiai, pictured how his cries would sound... both his lovers were so incredible.**

**Ibiki drew back from his lover's erection stroking it and listening to Jiraiya's moans grow fevered, then heard his cry as his cock jumped and he reached his orgasm.   Ibiki hesitated then dipped his head and licked the cum from his Koishii's cock.**

**Ibiki released his gratified flesh and slipped up to lay pressed against his lover, their bodies perfectly matched, like they were made to fit together.  He wondered if there would ever be a time when he didn't feel hesitation.  He was going to keep trying until he could do it without distress... that was not this time, maybe next time would be a bit easier.**

**Now laying with both their needs met he thought about the astounding pleasure his Koishii had given him earlier.  Jiraiya had not moved, he had been the one moving on his finger... he'd been in control of what happened.  "I don't tell you often enough how truly exceptional you are.  I am very blessed to have your love."**

**Jiraiya kissed him, "That's exactly how I feel about you."**

**Once again his wonderful beloved had brought about something he'd never imagined ever being possible, he'd enjoyed something moving inside him, while it had been his lover's finger, Ibiki was beginning to believe it may be possible to not only _accept_ Jiraiya inside him, but _enjoy _  it. **

\---------------------------------------

 

They had showered and now lay together on the bed once more, soon Kakashi would return, although his mission had kept him late it was only a few hours later.   Jiraiya lay calmly, as calmly as he could as Ibiki fondled his cock and balls.  The fact he was doing it was an indication he was still trying to accept what he'd done earlier.  Jiraiya was so proud of his extraordinary beloved, that had been an immense step and had to have been very difficult but he'd done it.

 

**As he touched his Koishii he thought about Kakashi, he didn't want his Saiai to feel 'left out' or excluded, he looked in Jiraiya adoring gaze and had to pause to give him a loving kiss before asking, "How can we bring Kakashi into 'this', I don't want him to feel like I can only trust you."**

**Jiraiya smiled gently and reassured, "He _is_ part of this... he teased you to orgasm with chakra brushes over your rim, your body remembered the pleasure of those touches and because of them relaxed more easily.  This is not a competition and we both want what's best for you, he will not feel left out."**

 

In fact he was sure Kakashi _wanted_ them to work on things before trying them with him, however he would encourage him to do more... cautiously.  His Myobu would have been extremely upset if he'd seen how Ibiki had reacted the first time to taking his cock in his mouth as he came.  It had been very difficult to not react but he was glad he hadn't, his brave lover had continued working on moving past his fear.

 

Kakashi walked in as they lay embraced, his eyes dropping to Jiraiya's erection and darkening in desire, he stripped his clothes and slipped up to seated beside Ibiki.  Then reached over and slowly brushed his finger's over Jiraiya's turgid length.  Jiraiya gave a soft groan of delight,  "Myobu will you fuck me?"

 

Kakashi looked surprised, but thankfully not reluctant and he nodded.  This was for more than one reason and both his lovers would benefit from it.  Kakashi needed to be comfortable and not be afraid to top and Ibiki....

 

_When Kakashi had met Jiraiya's eyes he could see this wasn't just a 'random request'.   His beloved  wanted this for more than the usual release, although it was clear he needed that too._

_"Please lay on the bed, I wish to be on top."  Kakashi lay down and as Jiraiya lightly covered him, he stroked his lover's back.  Jiraiya kissed his throat and very quietly murmured, "Tease me with chakra."_

 

**Ibiki was aware of why Jiraiya had asked for their partner to fuck him, he wanted him to watch Kakashi's cock thrusting into his body.  To see the pleasure it bought... to associate it with the pleasure he'd received and as his Koishii pressed down and started slowly rocking his hips Ibiki watched.  His interest quickly grew as he saw his Saiai's fingers trace Jiraiya's filled entrance sending chakra flowing over the area, Jiraiya cried out in delight rocking faster and bringing breathless moans of ecstasy from Kakashi.**

**Ibiki was riveted, he knew what that felt like, he knew how amazing it felt... although completely sated his body tried to respond, but as excited as he was by the sight he was just too spent to become erect.  But  that did not take away from the strong excitement he felt, his mind easily supplying the memory of how Jiraiya's fingers felt as they teased his ass, the one moving inside him as the other stroked around his entrance.**

 

Jiraiya tightened his muscles around his Myobu's wonderful cock and gave a rough buck as he came. Kakashi cried out at the powerful draw of his muscles around his swollen length and reached his climax as well.  Jiraiya kissed him gently, "I love you Myobu."

 

Kakashi smiled, "I'm glad.  I love you."

 

It still sent a thrill through him every time the once emotionally distant man said that to him.  Jiraiya lifted off Kakashi's gratified flesh, smiled and stroked Ibiki's face, "We should shower now."

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**END OF CHAPTER 26**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 26: SOMETHING MORE (ADELITAS WAY)


	27. HAVE FAITH IN ME (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 27)

**HAVE FAITH IN ME (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 27)**

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

_After Jiraiya's proposal that he be the one to fuck Ibiki, Kakashi was very uneasy any time he felt like something he was going to do may alarm Ibiki. "Can I kiss your body if I do not touch the backs of your knees?"  He wanted to find the special areas on his lover's body that surprised gasps of pleasure from him just as he'd found the area at the back of Jiraiya's neck and Ibiki had found the spot at the base of their partner's spine._

_Ibiki replied, "Yes Saiai."_

_But Kakashi remained unsure this was a good idea, he could accidentally touch him somewhere that would distress him.  He remained in thought about it until Jiraiya leaned forward and sent a thrill through him by kissing behind his ear.  Kakashi looked back at him as he drew back and the look in his eyes was amused, his eyes slipped over to Ibiki then met Kakashi's once more._

 

**Ibiki saw Jiraiya lean in to whisper a reassurance in their lover's ear and whatever he said must have helped because some of their partner's nervousness eased.  He hadn't given Kakashi the freedom to touch him like he was touched by Jiraiya, he wanted the same trust and understanding between his Saiai and him as he had with his Koishii.**

_Kakashi nuzzled and kissed his beloved's scarred cheek then slowly down to his throat, but he did not continue down further, his tongue gave the hollow behind his ear a soft lick. Ibiki gasped, his cock jumping and flushing harder.  Kakashi smiled happily, the fact he'd surprised a strong excited reaction from Ibiki gave him courage.  "Please lay."_

**Ibiki lay on his back, his lover's soft fingers stroking the scars of his chest as his Saiai resumed kissing his throat.  Ibiki gave a little hiss and then moaned as his beloved's finger feathered lightly over his nipple with chakra, then repeated the tease with his other nipple as his tongue gave another  teasing lick over the hollow behind his ear.  Ibiki groaned, "Saiai..." his tone rough with strong desire.  His gorgeous partner drew back and looked down at Ibiki's now extremely aroused cock with delight.**

**Ibiki noticed Jiraiya was giving an amused smile but his eyes were dark with passion at the actions of their seductive lover.**

 

_Kakashi continued down to his pelvis kissing and licking at the scars that covered the area.  Then drew back slightly, he'd remained to Ibiki's side not covering his body, but now his beloved spread his legs to allow him to lay between.  He gave Ibiki a loving smile and brushed over the tender area but did not touch his lover's cock, although it was difficult to resist  as it reacted to his mouth and hands.  Kakashi slipped between his legs and shocked a loud groan out of him as his tongue traced the hollow of his hip, then trailed down the soft skin between his thigh and balls._

_Jiraiya stroked his back, as Kakashi dropped down to fondle Ibiki's balls and lick the strip of skin between his balls and entrance._

_Ibiki moaned breathlessly and Jiraiya quietly encouraged, "Touch him Myobu, tease his sensitive entrance."_

_Kakashi trailed a slow soft pulse of chakra over the area and heard his beloved's familiar cry of pleasure.  The sound was further encouragement, he sucked Ibiki's balls as his partner gradually relaxed enough that his finger brushed over Ibiki's rim, he continued to circle his finger over his lover's entrance._

_"Rim him Myobu."  Jiraiya coaxed._

_Kakashi shook his head, it would alarm Ibiki to feel his tongue slip inside him, but when he looked up at Ibiki he saw no sign of distress._

 

**Ibiki hid the slight anxiety he felt at the thought, Jiraiya was the only one who'd done anything like that... "Please Saiai, I want you feeling me and tasting my body."  Kakashi looked uncertain but then his eyes widened and he mewed.  Ibiki knew it was likely Jiraiya was teasing their lover to help distract him... he wanted to feel Jiraiya beside him, but brushed away the lingering uneasiness, his Saiai's touch was amazing and his mouth there would bring a lot of pleasure.**

 

_Jiraiya's finger was slowly gliding strokes over his rim... like a tongue.  Kakashi felt the strong waves of pleasure and lowered his mouth to lick over their partner's entrance.  Ibiki moaned and Kakashi gave a soft whimper tilting his hips up slightly encouraging Jiraiya to continue._

Ibiki's reaction had surprised him, Jiraiya was pleased, he hadn't expected his Koishii to be able to relax so easily.  Kakashi gasped loudly and moaned as he pressed back into the pulses of chakra Jiraiya was teasing him with, and then continued teasing Ibiki's ass as he gave whimpers of delight. 

 

Ibiki trembled in pleasure, the feel of his Saiai's tongue had drew an immediate strong desire to feel more.  His lovers brought him overwhelming ecstasy, sensations like he'd never imagined sweeping through him.  He wanted so much more than just the pleasure he'd accepted up until now, he wanted everything they could give him and to be free to do all he wished to do with them.

 

_As Jiraiya continued teasing his body, Kakashi's tongue traced Ibiki's tight entrance and to his surprise he felt his lover's muscles loosen enough for his tongue to give cautious little darts into his body.  Ibiki cried out in rapture and Kakashi was delighted by his lover's pleasure.  His fingers continued feathering chakra over his balls and he listened to Ibiki's fevered moans.  Jiraiya's damp finger slipped into his body, just through the muscles and he sent a pulse of chakra up into him.  Kakashi lifted his head and gave a delighted cry as he came, bucking his hips and sending the pulses deeper as he did._

 

_Kakashi eagerly resumed licking and softly thrusting his tongue into Ibiki's body and as his lover neared his orgasm he dared to do as Jiraiya had.  Pushing his finger gently into his partner as he sent powerful sparks of chakra into him.  He heard Ibiki cry out breathlessly, then buck, moaning as he climaxed.  Kakashi drew his finger out as his lover felt the last waves of ecstasy and waited anxiously hoping he had not gone too far, he might have lost his trust now.   He should not have done that..._

_"Saiai, that felt wonderful!" Ibiki praised._

 

Jiraiya saw Kakashi's tension ease, but a hint of anxiousness remained in his eyes.  This lingering uneasiness stemmed from his mistake of stating Kakashi should top Ibiki... he'd known better, he should have talked to his Myobu before he said it.

 

It may still be a while before Ibiki was ready to feel anyone's cock with in him, but these were tremendous steps forward, he was now finding pleasure at being touched in a place that had only brought him extreme fear before.

 

Jiraiya was very aroused, but he needed to help his Myobu past his fear of upsetting Ibiki, he knew his Koishii was ready for this as well.  Jiraiya drew lube and once again slipped his finger into the seduction of his beautiful lover, listening as he mewed and his breathing quickened and seeing him give a shiver of lust. 

 

_Kakashi stroked Ibiki's pelvis, although he wish to touch Jiraiya he didn't wish to give up this pleasure.  He teased his lover's thighs with licks, kisses and soft suckles; to his delight Ibiki slowly hardened.  He wanted very much to feel Ibiki's cock within him... but if he tried to shift up to on top of him would he think he was going to fuck him?_

_He didn't want Ibiki to ever feel fear at something he did.  Kakashi's cock throbbed, Jiraiya's fingers pumping into his body preparing him was an incredible temptation and even if he hadn't needed it he was sure he'd still want it.[/i]_

 

Jiraiya could see his Koishii was very aroused now, both by the touches and kisses of their lover and watching the erotic man quiver and give little wanton mews of need.  Kakashi was ready, Jiraiya slipped his fingers from his lover's sexy ass.  Jiraiya's cock give powerful throbs at the tease, but he focused on his partners, ready to help his Myobu past the nervousness he now felt.

 

**Ibiki looked back at Jiraiya, he knew his Koishii was very aroused, but the fact he'd prepared their lover and now sat back indicated he wished to watch him and Kakashi fuck.  Ibiki gently grasped his Saiai's arms and drew him up over him.  Then rolled to place him on the bed beneath, feeling his sensual partner arch into him as he carefully pressed into the astounding pleasure of his tight ass.  Ibiki groaned, "Saiai... you feel so good!"**

**Jiraiya watched and softly urged.  "Feel him Myobu... feel how his muscles flex as he fucks you.  Enjoy the powerful feel of your lover's body..."**

**Ibiki swore his Koishii could make him cum just by the seductive sound of his voice!**

**He could feel the way Kakashi's hands kneaded and grasped at his back, his Saiai loved feeling Jiraiya's muscles flex as he fucked him... and he knew his lover wanted very much to feel his muscles flex as he fucked him.  Ibiki paused and slipped his gorgeous Saiai's hands down to his ass.**

 

_Kakashi trembled in delight.  He loved being fucked by both his lovers but it was the way Ibiki boldly placed his hands on his ass that had him panting and shivering in need.  Jiraiya said he could, and it seemed like Ibiki could accept it but he wasn't so sure.  After a moment he gave in, he wanted to feel the flex of his partner's muscles as he thrust into him.  Kakashi clutched the cheeks of his beloved’s ass urging him deeper, harder, feeling the powerful ripple of his muscles.  The tense of Ibiki’s ass as he thrust into his body was so exciting that he trembled in pleasure._

 

**Ibiki felt great happiness at the knowledge that he was 'filling a need' for his lover... Kakashi had wanted to touch him like this for many months and he was ecstatic at the offer.  Yes, it had brought a bit of uneasiness feeling his hands on his ass, but it quickly faded as the effect it was having on his beloved became clear.  The way his Saiai urgently clasped him to his body shivering at the strength of his rapidly escalating need.**

**"You are so sexy."  Ibiki groaned, "I love the feel of you wanting me..."**

**Kakashi gave ecstatic cries, the intensity of his partner's pleasure teased Ibiki and he found he was enjoying his lover's hands kneading and encouraging him, it was very exciting!**

 

Jiraiya smiled as he watched his lovers fevered with need, this had more than soothed Kakashi's worry it had the unplanned and very welcome bonus of Ibiki discovering another way that being touched on the ass brought strong pleasure.  Things were going well, better than he'd hoped.

 

**Ibiki felt his lover's passage contract around him as he came, listened to his howls of rapture and felt the urgent grasp of his partner's hands clasping his ass as his body flexed powerfully around his cock... it felt wonderful.  He felt so wanted, needed... he bucked filling his beloved and enjoying the continued tight hold of his Saiai's hands.**

**Kakashi's touch lightened as they calmed then shifted up to rest on his back, his captivating eyes studying his face then relaxing and he smiled.  "I loved feeling you."**

**Ibiki kissed him then replied, "I loved feeling your hands on my ass, the way you wanted me so greatly."**

_Kakashi sighed happily, then looked up at Jiraiya as Ibiki rose off of him.  Their experienced lover had known he was still bothered by being asked to top Ibiki, but Ibiki hadn't feared he would, his beloved trusted him.  Jiraiya was right, Ibiki could accept his touch and he shouldn't hesitate to ask for the things he desired._

_"_ _I want to touch you Jiraiya." Kakashi asked, he wanted to hear him crying out and to know his touch brought their extraordinary partner rapture, just as he gave them with every exquisite caress..._

 

Jiraiya smiled gently, "You can do anything you like."  His loving gaze slipped over to Ibiki including him in his encouragement.  "I love every touch you both give me."  The hesitation his Myobu had shown before was now gone from his actions and Jiraiya was relieved that their beautiful beloved had returned to his honest, although blunt, requests.

 

As Jiraiya lay down and Kakashi shifted to between his spread legs Ibiki watched them intently.  Although his body was sated his longing to touch Jiraiya was very clear in his gaze.  "Koishii,"  Jiraiya purred, "Touch me, I want to feel you."

 

Ibiki lay down beside him on his side and stroked over his chest and stomach, then surprised a soft gasp from him by tracing the head of his cock.  Kakashi had been kissing Jiraiya's inner thighs and looked up at his gasp.  His Myobu's eyes filled with excitement, his finger circled and teased Jiraiya's rim as he watched Ibiki's fingers brushing lightly over the swollen flesh.

 

**Ibiki watched Jiraiya's cock eagerly respond to his touch then looked up, he was slightly uneasy but wanted this very much.  He needed the freedom to touch and taste his lovers, he didn't want to remain frustrated and unable to touch them in all the ways he wished to.  "I want to take you in my mouth."**

**Jiraiya nodded, his eyes full of love.  He did not look worried, he believed in him, believed he could do this... his extraordinary Koishii.  Ibiki kissed him tenderly and then trailed kisses slowly down his torso, as he neared his lover's engorged cock he grew a bit uneasy.  He tried to reminded himself he could do this, he had done this before and that the sounds of his beloved's pleasure were worth this slight anxiety... but the growing anxiety fled as he heard Jiraiya moan.**

_Kakashi had noticed Ibiki was growing more uncomfortable, he wasn't the only one, Kakashi looked up nervously to meet Jiraiya's gaze.  The fact he did not look worried helped, Kakashi watched Ibiki lick the sensitive head cautiously.  He was uncertain if he should tease Jiraiya when it could make Ibiki distressed... no, he could not stop doing things just because they may upset Ibiki.  He sent a light spark of chakra through his finger as he traced slowly around the enticing entrance to his lover's body._

****

_Jiraiya's loud breathless cry at the tease did exactly opposite of what Kakashi had feared, Ibiki's eyes filled with excitement, his mouth teasing Jiraiya's shaft with soft sucks and strokes of his tongue._

"Oh, it feels so good!"  Jiraiya groaned, his body eagerly responding after the tease of watching his lovers.  Every light brush brought such strong ecstasy that it was a struggle to remain still.  

**[b]Ibiki could feel the tensed muscles of his lover's abs as he resisted his need to cum and anxiety surged through him once more.  He drew back, his voice now a bit husky, but it was in anxiety not passion.  "Please Saiai, I want to watch you give Jiraiya pleasure."**

**Kakashi was watching his face seriously, his finger dropped away from teasing Jiraiya's entrance and he slipped up to seated beside Ibiki.  His Saiai's eyes were full of understanding and he tenderly kissed him.  Then he nodded and his wonderful mouth slid down covering their lover's cock and drawing on it.   As his mouth caressed the turgid length, Jiraiya gave loud cries of rapture at his long denied release.**

**When his Koishii came, Ibiki watched Kakashi draw back for the first buck, then suck with delight as Jiraiya gave his final soft buck.  Ibiki forced himself not to look away, but just seeing his lover's hips gently buck still sent a chill through him.  How could he want something so badly and yet feel terror about it as well?  He'd been doing so well... until he'd tried to do as his Saiai did, then everything he'd gained seemed to disappear, his anxiety strong once more and his fear keeping him from enjoying his beloved.**

**Kakashi slipped up to kiss Jiraiya passionately, then nuzzled and gently kissed Ibiki's throat.   Ibiki was aware his Saiai had wished to kiss him but had chosen to kiss his throat because he hadn't wanted to distress him with the taste of their partner's cum.  Ibiki cupped his beautiful lover's head, kissing him deeply, he would not let fear that this from him as well.  As he broke their kiss and drew back Kakashi sighed happily.  He had the most incredible lovers, so accepting and understanding and with every loving gesture it increased Ibiki's resolve to gain the freedom to do all the things he desired with them, to hear their cries of need and feel only pleasure.**

Jiraiya rose from the bed and drew his lovers into the shower where he massaged them easing the tension that had knotted their muscles.  He could see his Koishii was discouraged, cumming in his mouth had brought up some issues for him, but Ibiki did not lose as much as he believed.  He believed that this problem had a solution and once found the issue would be easily over come and soon his beloved would be able to have that bit of freedom back.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

After a soothing hot shower they went out and lay caressing each other until they grew tired.  Jiraiya felt deep pleasure as he felt his Koishii relax between them.  Gradually Ibiki was beginning to stop fearing to fall asleep with them beside him, although he was not completely asleep, he was more relaxed then he'd ever been before.  His amazing beloved trusted them to move away, it was a trust they wouldn't breach.  Kakashi slipped from the bed and stood looking at Ibiki lovingly as Jiraiya rose from the bed as well.  The two men lay in their own bed and soon all three of them slept.

 

=========================================================

 

The mission's office was clearing out for lunch and Iruka decided to file the reports that were complete and go to lunch as well.

 

Iruka stepped out from behind his desk and tripped over a box that had been left on the floor beside the desk.  He felt someone catch him and looked up in stunned wonder at his 'rescuer'.  When Iruka caught his balance and stood, Kakashi released him.  "Thank you.  I'm very glad you caught me!" 

 

Kakashi nodded, he looked no different than always, but somehow Iruka could tell he was uncomfortable with the fact the other nin in the office were watching him curiously.  Iruka took Kakashi's report from where he'd set it on the desk and nodded.  "Everything looks good have a good day off." 

 

The quiet man's relief was evident and before turning he softly replied, "I'm glad I caught you too." Then turned and walked out of the office. 

 

Iruka sat, his mind only half on the report he was reading, Kakashi had moved so swiftly... he had no doubt that was what had caught everyone's attention.  This was confirmed a second later by the nin that placed his report in the intake basket.  "Who knew he could move so fast!"

 

Iruka snorted in disbelief and replied dryly,  "Who knew you dolts could move so slowly."  All the nin present laughed, accepting that it had not been that Kakashi had reacted fast but that they'd failed to react and the matter was dismissed in the anticipation of getting the following day off and the plans they had for the day.

 

The rest of the day Iruka dwelled on what he knew about the reclusive Shinobi, his conclusion was something he wished to talk to Jiraiya about. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

Kakashi walked in and Jiraiya rose without a word, crossed the room and enclosed him firmly.  His Myobu was distressed, not badly but definitely distressed.  His lover's muscles loosened as he melted into the security and comfort of his hold.  After a few moments of soothing quiet, Kakashi looked up.  "I touched Iruka."

 

Jiraiya waited, no matter how his beloved touched him it was not upsetting, he was not the type to become jealous.

 

_Kakashi slipped his hand into Jiraiya's shirt laying his hand against the solid warmth of his lover, it was soothing, he could feel the steady drum of his heart.  After a moment of enjoying the sensation and feeling his tension seep away, he explained, "He fell, I caught him."_

 

Jiraiya nodded in understanding, choosing to touch Iruka, to catch him was a very kind gesture from his reserved beloved, "I'm glad you caught him."

 

Kakashi lay his head against his chest, he was not averting his eyes, Jiraiya could see he needed contact.  Softly the reclusive man replied, "I'm glad I did too."  Then his gorgeous Myobu looked up at him, "I like feeling your arms around me, you make me feel good."

 

"You are so precious."  Jiraiya stroked over Kakashi's beautiful face, "Myobu, I could never find enough words to tell you how special you are.  So amazing, from the first time I touched you I knew you were extraordinary and that the man who received your love would be truly blessed."

 

_Kakashi was surprised, "You really thought I was extraordinary?"  Jiraiya had said it, but to hear that he believe the one who received his love was blessed... he was always saying things that made him feel warm and happy._

_Jiraiya nodded and held him tenderly, his hands lightly massaging his back , "I didn't think it, I knew it.  I'm glad Ibiki was that man, he deserves someone as incredible as you. "_

_Kakashi stroked his chest, his heart full of love for his partner.  "I do not know how I ever survived without you and Ibiki... I was so alone.  I am very lucky to have you both"_

_"Precious Myobu," Jiraiya crooned, "you never will have to be alone again."_

_Kakashi snuggled into him then looked up, "I want to touch you."_

 

Jiraiya nodded, he released Kakashi and the sensual man's gentle touch brushed lightly over his cheek, his beautiful eyes watching him with adoration.  His hand slowly slipped down Jiraiya's neck, then paused, "I need to touch all of you." 

 

Jiraiya understood what his beloved was trying to say, he removed his clothes and stood still once more as Kakashi's unhindered touch explored and stroked the muscles of his chest. 

 

At this point both men were extremely aroused, but this was different, not just lust.  Jiraiya knew this was filling a powerful yearning for his partner, after years of being completely cut off from contact with another, often he just needed to enjoy how it felt to touch.

 

_Kakashi's hands had reached Jiraiya's waist and the temptation of his hard cock was very strong but he still wished to touch him more.   His hand grazed lightly over his lover's pelvis the silky soft skin was riveting, then over his beloved's hips as he sank down.  His mouth was now on the level of Jiraiya's erection, tempting him greatly but his fingers continued to trace down the hollows of his hips.  When his fingers brushed down his lover's inner thigh, he could feel his muscles rippling under the warm flesh in reaction to his touch , but Jiraiya didn't move and even though his touch clearly teased him greatly his gentle partner's eyes were full of love.  Kakashi lacked the words to express all the things he wished to say and he only quietly stated, "I like touching you."_

   

Jiraiya understood, he smiled tenderly, "I enjoy being touched by you, your touch feels good.  When you touch me I feel... loved, needed..."

 

_The adoration in his partner's tone was enthralling, a temptation that Kakashi wouldn't resist even if he could.  He rose and molded his body to Jiraiya's, "I do need you."_

_Jiraiya's arms wrapped gently around him and his mouth caressed the sensitive skin of his throat, "Anything you wish, I will give you anything."_

_Kakashi was shivering in desire but only kissed his beloved's chest and licked Jiraiya's nipple getting a soft groan of delight from his experienced lover.  He wanted to be fucked, it felt so outstanding... but even more he wanted Jiraiya's touch and resisted just begging for his cock inside him.  He stripped and stood looking in his partner's loving gaze as he asked, "I need you to touch me."_

_Jiraiya nodded, lightly he stroked over his lower neck then down over his torso, his hands a tender warm caress as the palms slid over him, cupping the curves of his body.  Although always wonderful, his lover's touch was different than an effort to arouse him.  Kakashi felt like he was being worshiped, every part of his body touched and enjoyed._

_Kakashi rapidly grew more aroused but the reverent touches held such a strong draw he resisted his growing lust.  The stroke of his lover's hands over the cheeks of his ass tempted but he was grateful he didn't give in to his rapidly escalating need as Jiraiya's adoring touches continued over his hips and down his thighs.  The gentle brush of his beloved's fingers over the back of his knees brought shivers and a soft moan but he did not ask for him to stop and as they grazed over his calves he was breathless at the pleasure, "Your touch feels so good."_

_Jiraiya gave him a loving smile running his hands up his sides as he rose and then wrapping his arms tenderly around him again and kissing him gently.  Kakashi trembled at the feel of both their very swollen cocks between their bodies.  "I need you in me."_

 

Jiraiya kissed him passionately then drew him back to the couch, and grabbed the lube, his seductive Myobu was looking at his erection with intense longing, it was clear he wished to touch it but didn't want to tease him further. 

 

Jiraiya gave the lube to him, he could bear the tease, he would do anything to watch the pleasure in his lover's eyes.   Kakashi smiled and drew lube wrapping his hand around his cock and stroking it, he delightedly watched his hand sliding easily along the hard flesh then looked up and watched Jiraiya's face.

 

Jiraiya moaned and encouraged, "That feels fantastic, my gorgeous Myobu, so perfect."  But it was the desire in his amazing eyes that teased Jiraiya far more than his incredible touch.

 

_Kakashi's cock was beginning to ache but he didn't want to give up the pleasure of watching Jiraiya's ecstasy at his touches, his other hand cupped his balls sending little pulses playing over the sensitive skin.  Jiraiya gasped, his voice husky as he softly teased, "Keep that up and I will need to cum so bad I'll be begging you."_

_Kakashi trembled, the desire in his seductive partner's voice broke his last effort to resist his body's demand for the feel of his lover inside him.   He lay his hands on Jiraiya's shoulders, rising up over the rigid length, he needed him so urgently he wanted to push down on it firmly to the base._

 

Jiraiya could see the strong hunger in his beloved's eyes and his hands gently cupped his Myobu's hips, but he made no effort to try to restrain him, he trusted him.  Kakashi pressed down, then lifted, pressed again and Jiraiya could feel his partner's body rapidly loosen for him.  His precious Myobu was able to push down further every time until his cock entered his beloved's tight passage. 

 

Kakashi moaned, then took Jiraiya's hand and brought it to the base of his erection.  Jiraiya knew his lover had teased himself too long, he was desperate to cum but still wanted to feel him fully inside.   He blocked his partner's release as his sensual body slowly slipped down his shaft, the hot tight grasp so exquisite that it nearly brought tears to his eyes.  He watched his Myobu quivering and crying out in pleasure, and felt the eager ripple of his muscles around his cock teasing him mercilessly as he panted and gave soft groans at the divine temptation. 

 

Then Jiraiya was shocked into a cry of ecstasy as Kakashi stroked around his nipple teasing him.  His amazing Kitsune trusted him too, he knew he'd never give in to his need and hurt him.  "Myobu!"  He gave a loud moan as Kakashi came to rest at the base, his whole length enclosed in his beloved's tight body. 

 

Kakashi was whimpering in hunger, but once again teased him by covering Jiraiya's nipple with his mouth sucking and flicking it with his tongue.  Jiraiya groaned loudly, his need now so strong he shook!   As his Myobu started to slowly rock his passage contracted and he gave a cry as Jiraiya's thumb resting at the base prevented him from cumming.

 

Jiraiya knew every time his beloved would try and be denied his cock would grow more sensitive.  Soon his lover's body was loose enough to allow him to move.  Now Jiraiya playfully 'retaliated' for his Myobu's earlier teases, he v'd his fingers at the base of his cock so every rock of Kakashi's hips brushed a wave of chakra over the tender flesh of his entrance.  His beloved gave a shocked cry of pleasure, once more trying to cum, but was denied and soon was giving loud fevered cries.  He continued rocking on Jiraiya's rigid length until he felt his partner's body buck again in an orgasm, but he was again denied release.  Then his seductive lover lifted up on his knees to half way and began fucking his exquisite body on Jiraiya's turgid cock moaning in ecstasy. 

 

Jiraiya panted at the intense pleasure and purred, "Don't cum."   Then his hand lifted away from his beloved's erection.   Kakashi rocked his engorged cock against him giving cries of passion and need.   Jiraiya's slipped his hand up and pressed lightly on his pelvis and purred, "Cum".  Then he gave in to his own orgasm as his lover's body tightened to cum, his swollen length bucked against his beloved's prostate.

 

Kakashi howled, arching in rapture and Jiraiya's second soft buck was firmly against his pleasure spot.  His erotic beloved bucked as he came again, then wrapped his arms around Jiraiya rocking his over stimulated cock against his body and shivering as the last waves of ecstasy swept through him.   

 

Kakashi was breathless his cheeks flushed and his lips parted in rapid pants.  Jiraiya massaged him lovingly, "You are so sexy Myobu."  Kakashi kissed him passionately still drawing rapid breaths through his nose as he tried to calm,  Jiraiya gently cupped his head kissing him deeply then drew back and placed a kiss on his ear. 

 

Kakashi shivered and mewed his body too sated to respond to the tease but then brushed Jiraiya's hair away from the sensitive back of his neck and gave it a little slow lick.

 

Jiraiya groaned, "You win!  I surrender!"

 

_Kakashi drew back from the area and once more kissed his exceptional lover, "You make me happy."_

_Jiraiya cradled his face looking in his eyes with deep love.  "I will do my best to always make you happy and I will never leave."_

_Kakashi embraced him, gave his chest a loving kiss then lay his head against it as he softly replied, "I love you... I will never let you go."_

_They would need to shower but for now they both just enjoyed remaining as they were, feeling each other's body against their own.  Kakashi looked up, "I have a mission tonight."_

 

Jiraiya nodded, his Myobu lightly pet his chest as he lay against him.   Jiraiya wished his beloved did not need to go, he was a bit uneasy today, but remained quiet and tried to dismiss it.  

 

Kakashi could see his anxiety, he stroked his cheek and tried to soothe him, "I will be ok... I will always be ok as long as I have you and Ibiki."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "My precious Kitsune.  I suppose we should shower now."

 

Kakashi nodded, rose up off Jiraiya and they walked in to the shower.  Jiraiya washed him... but as he did he couldn't help tracing the scars from all the times his beloved had suffered alone and continued doing missions. 

 

_Kakashi gently caught his hand, "I have the scroll always, no matter what mission I go on it is there... a reminder of your love."_

_Jiraiya held him close, "Thank you.  I never want to lose you."_

_Kakashi had the parchment on him even when on standard missions, it was a cherished item and a part of his uniform.  It completed the link, Pakkun knew Ibiki's chakra signature and could immediately find him in an emergency even appear before him once Kakashi summoned him.  While he could not bring him to safety he could alert Ibiki there was trouble... he never felt alone.  "I will always return."_

After they finished drying and dressed, Kakashi lightly kissed Jiraiya and left. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

_He was a bit early as he was for all missions, he needed this time with his lover before dressing and coming to get the mission scroll from his Commander.   Kakashi walked into his beloved's office and Ibiki smiled and rose coming over to embrace him and kiss him tenderly._

_Kakashi stroked his chest then unfastened the first few buttons and slipped his hand in to rest against his lover's broad chest, the warmth and steady drum of his heart brought comfort and security.  Which brought to mind how their partner had been worried, "Jiraiya's anxious, he worries about me..."_

_Ibiki nodded nuzzling his throat and surprising a soft mew from Kakashi._

 

**Ibiki laughed, he hadn't really meant to tease but in hindsight he should have been aware it was, "I love the warm scent of you Saiai.  I will reassure Jiraiya."**

**Kakashi caressed his cheek, "I love you."**

**Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "I love you my wonderful Saiai."  Kakashi smiled then stepped back and left to go get ready for his mission.**

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya tried to focus on his novel, he was making great progress and soon it would be ready for the publisher.   The next few hours slipped by and soon it was time to go meet his Koishii.

 

As he walked, Iruka fell into step with him and he looked down and smiled at the friendly man. 

 

Iruka returned his smile but then stated seriously, "Sometimes nin can get very tired and could use a bit lighter duties... please let me know if you know of a nin that could use a lighter mission occasionally." 

 

Jiraiya's smile warmed, "I will let you know, I appreciate your concern for the nin who are feeling a bit 'tired'." 

 

Iruka gave a congenial smile, "Although I'd love to stay and talk, I've got to go grade some papers before class tomorrow." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Have a good night."  He watched the small Chunin walk away and then continued to go meet Ibiki.   The observant man had figured out Kakashi was 'pulling extra duties', while it would not be an issue most of the time it was good to have that 'help' if his Myobu had just come back from a strenuous mission.

 

Iruka was a good friend and Kakashi was starting to accept him a bit more, the gregarious man may even become his beloved's first friend.

 

\------------------------------

 

Ibiki met his lover at the main doors and took his hand drawing him into a loving kiss, Jiraiya was delighted, it had taken many years and at times it had been hard and painful but this relationship he had with his partners was worth every moment. 

 

The two men walked quietly, at peace, enjoying the walk and everything around as they walked through the village.

 

**When they walked in the door Ibiki drew Jiraiya close and kissed him before stating seriously, "I want to take you in my mouth."**

**Jiraiya nodded, the reluctance Ibiki feared would be in his Koishii's gaze was not there, he was supportive and accepting, it helped firm his resolve, he could do this, he could find pleasure in his lover's cries and feel his body respond.   They walked into the bedroom and stripped.**

 

Ibiki was taking these things too seriously and it was adding to his anxiety, Jiraiya lay on his back and drew his beloved down on top of him for a moment as he kissed him passionately and then kissed the scarred expanse of his throat.  Then his hands dropped to the bed, "I love every touch you give me Koishii."

 

**Ibiki slowly kissed his way down Jiraiya's body but decided he was not ready to try to take him in his mouth, although he wanted the pleasure he'd felt before, the joy of knowing his lover's cries of rapture were at his actions.  He wrapped his hand around Jiraiya's erection, watching his face as he stroked the swollen length.  The sound of his Koishii's cries excited him greatly and his gaze slipped down to watch his lover's cock as he brought him to orgasm... just watching his cock buck brought a flash of anxiety, but it also brought frustration.  He'd teased him to cumming several times before, even stayed when he'd bucked softly... of course Jiraiya had already cum several times and it had not been much, but still it left him longing for that freedom once more.**

**He didn't move away, he took his Koishii's sated length in his mouth and started teasing the tender flesh feeling it very slowly harden.  Even as greatly as he wished he could, he didn't think he could keep caressing his lover's cock with his mouth once he was erect.  Even knowing Jiraiya wouldn't, he feared feeling the firm buck as he came, feeling it had brought such strong fear.  He paused and released his partner's arousal, when he looked up at Jiraiya he knew the solution to the fear.  He took his beloved's cock in his mouth, his thumb pressing at the base and 'preventing' him from cumming, just as Jiraiya did with Kakashi.**

**That bit of anxiety eased, he worked on trying not to fear the feel of his lover's erect flesh moving in his mouth, he nearly released his Koishii's cock again as the unwelcome realization came to him... he was one of the few people who could take Jiraiya in his throat, he didn't have a gag reflex... not after his time with the Rain nin.  Ibiki firmly pushed those thoughts away but they lingered in the back of his mind and kept his heart hammering.   He drew back and lifted his thumb stroking him as his beloved climaxed, but even after Jiraiya was sated he could not put his mouth on him.**

**He sat looking at his lover's cock... memories he wished would someday fade, had not, even after all these years...**

**He didn't taste cum when they came in his throat... he'd only felt the acid burn of the cum in his raw throat... he'd tasted blood and cum when they fucked his mouth...**

**As he moved up to lay beside Jiraiya his thoughts slipped away from those memories and back to his realization.**

 

Ibiki beside him, he looked very uneasy and it was evident something was disturbing him but he knew his Koishii would talk when he was ready.

 

"Jiraiya remember when I didn't talk about the abuse of the back of my knees and it caused problems... I don't want... " he sighed and just said it, "I can take you in my throat... it was something I realized as I was... stroking you with my mouth.  I'm probably one of few that could easily do so... and I can't give you that pleasure."

 

Jiraiya caressed his cheek he didn't say he'd never ask that of him, he knew that.  The problem was that just like so many other things, he wanted to give that pleasure.  He knew he physically could and that it wasn't likely Kakashi would be able to do so in the near future, possibly never... in a bit their partner  would be able to take Ibiki in his throat, but not him... he'd only had one lover who ever could.  

 

Jiraiya softly replied, "Perhaps that can be handled in the future if you wish, but you are making such strong leaps forward towards your freedom, you can't let that one issue distract you from that.  There are so many things you never thought you'd be able to do, and you do them now."

 

It felt odd telling his beloved that one day maybe he could take him in his throat.  It was like that was something that he put value on, but it wasn't important, only his Koishii's love was.  "I cannot say it does not give me pleasure, but so many things you do bring me pleasure, it truly does not matter."

 

**Jiraiya massaged him gently, although this attempt at giving his lover oral sex had not gone as well as he hoped, perhaps this was the time to try to work on accepting Jiraiya inside him.   "I want to feel you in me..."**

**Jiraiya lay stroking Ibiki, "Koishii, we need to talk seriously about my making love to you.  Are you doing this for me or Kakashi or do you truly wish this?"**

**Ibiki rolled onto his side and looked at lover, the absolute love in his eyes brought his answer.  "I want this connection, I don't want anything standing between us.  I want to put away the past and look only towards the future."**

 

This would be the biggest challenge of his life, his partner was so fragile... he'd been abused so extremely and was terrified by what they would try to do.  He could see his Koishii was trying, he truly wished to get past this.  This would need to be a slow progression, he had to understand and believe he could say stop at any moment, to remember he was not helplessly enduring the abuse again.  He was in control.

 

Jiraiya lay an arm over him, gathered him close and kissed him tenderly, his hand massaged his back softly.  "I need your promise that you will not try to continue if you decide you do not wish it.  You can say stop at any point and I will, can you trust me?  Can you believe in your heart that I only wish what you wish to do, no more.  Please don't ever continue doing anything if you decide you do not wish it."

 

**Ibiki nodded, "I promise I will tell you to stop."  He felt his anxiety growing as they talked about it and it spurred him to say.  "I'm not sure we should go slow... I'll only become more distressed as you prepare me."**

 

Jiraiya's eyes widened slightly in alarm, this was a very bad idea!  "I'm not so sure that would be best... I think we should do this gradually... Are you sure?"

 

Ibiki nodded, "Knowing what we were going to do throughout being prepared... it is too much time to become frightened."

 

Jiraiya reluctantly nodded, he was positive that would be a very bad way of going about it, but it was his Koishii's decision.  "Can you lay with your back to me?  I wish to caress you and kiss you."

 

**Ibiki felt a flash of panic but swept it away, his beloved would never hurt him, he would not just push into him without warning.  Ibiki rolled onto his side and felt his partner's body cup his from behind.  A stronger surge of panic surged through him, but he thought of how Jiraiya embraced him from behind while standing, rocking his cock against his ass and sending waves of ecstasy through him with his touches.**

 

Jiraiya lay lightly cupping Ibiki he could feel his partner's anxiety but was surprised as it lessened and his beloved hardened.  He draped an arm over his lover's waist, his hand enclosing and drawing on his swollen length and bringing gasps and moans from his beloved.  Jiraiya was now erect, his cock lay along the part of his lover's ass.  As he kissed and licked the scars of his upper back and throat he tried not to become too 'excited', but Ibiki's moans of pleasure made that very difficult.

 

**Ibiki felt his partner's massive cock jump against him and froze, but there was no pain of someone thrusting into him, only the feel of the man he loved's body against his and his mouth kissing his shoulders tenderly.  His tension seeped away and he was quickly fevered with need once more as Jiraiya's skilled touch tempted him towards his climax.  This was very similar to what they'd done while standing and Ibiki suddenly longed for the wonderful sensations of having his beloved's cock rubbing over his entrance.  Jiraiya's hips did not move and after a moment of hesitation Ibiki rocked his hips cautiously then cried out in ecstasy at the feel of his lover's erection rubbing against his ass and the glorious pleasure of thrusting into his Koishii's hand... it felt so good!**

 

When Ibiki began rocking against his cock Jiraiya felt a deep pleasure, not only the sensation of his lover's body, but at his choice to do it.  Ibiki moaned, the sound sent a thrill through Jiraiya and his cock gave a slight jump against his beloved's ass.  He expected Ibiki to freeze but he seemed undisturbed, he'd relaxed and sought the familiar sensation of rocking against his cock.  Jiraiya groaned softly, "Koishii, you feel so good against me."  He was aware that at any moment Ibiki could freeze and move away from him, but he hoped he would not, that he could accept this pleasure the same as when they were standing.

 

**Ibiki felt a bit uneasy as he pressed firmer back into his lover, but the sensations were so familiar... the extraordinary pleasure.  His hesitation disappeared, and his breath was rough with need, "Koishii, rub against me."**

Jiraiya felt a surge of love, even as astounding the rapture of his partner's body was, it was nowhere near as great as that he got from every delighted cry or moan from his beloved.  Jiraiya rocked his hips against the part of his lover's ass lightly and groaned deeply as Ibiki pressed back into him, his cock now thrusting between his Koishii's firm cheeks.

 

**Ibiki listened to his lover's soft moans and then urged, "Let me hear you Koishii, let me hear the pleasure you feel."**

**Jiraiya kissed his throat passionately and gave long moans of delight, "I love the feel of your body against mine!"**

**The ecstasy in partner's words wiped away the last of his hesitation and he pressed back into the thrust of his lover's erection feeling it rubbing firmly over his rim and bringing waves of pleasure that blended with the rapidly escalating rapture of his beloved's hand drawing on his cock.  "Ah Jiraiya you feel so good!"**

Jiraiya was filled with adoration as Ibiki panted, "Cum against me, I want to feel you buck and hear your pleasure."

 

Jiraiya moaned, excited further by the thought his lover wanted to feel him, he rocked faster against the tease of his partner's rim and his fingers brushed chakra over his beloved's cock.  As he thrust and came he brought Ibiki's climax. 

 

Ibiki's ass tightened around his swollen length and Jiraiya gave a cry of rapture as he bucked but immediately began kissing and crooning to his lover, "You amaze me... so strong... my extraordinary Koishii, I love you so much."

 

**Ibiki had felt a strong spike of fear when his ass had clenched around Jiraiya's cock as he bucked and came... but his Koishii's affectionate caresses and loving murmurs helped it fade.  After a few moments of laying feeling partner's adoring touch his tensed muscles relaxed.**

Ibiki was quiet, Jiraiya knew that had been a bit alarming for his beloved, but he believed in his lover and knew he could accept it, he just needed time to think.

 

"Jiraiya... I want more..."  Ibiki's voice was soft, but not afraid, more undecided than uneasy.  "It frightened me... but I don't want to stop."

 

Jiraiya kissed his neck, he was so very proud of his lover, talking openly about his feelings and admitting his fear.  "So incredible, I love you... you are exceptional and I am so lucky to have you!"

 

**Ibiki looked back at him and shifted away enough to roll over and gather him close, "Jiraiya I can never express how deeply I love you.  Your love gave me the strength to try, the courage to move past so many of my fears."  Ibiki kissed him lovingly, then his hand trailed down over his partner's taut abs to trace his cock, feeling the flesh harden at his touch brought an unexpected thrill.  "Koishii... I want so much."**

**Jiraiya rocked softly into his touch, "You will get everything you desire in time, I know it."**

**Ibiki's hand enclosed the rapidly swelling length stroking it and feeling it flush harder, listening to his beloved's breath speed at the pleasure he was giving him.**

**Jiraiya was very aroused now, surprisingly Ibiki found he was too.  He released the engorged length and  rolled over onto his side, this was difficult, it was difficult not to be afraid laying and baring his back knowing the man behind him was erect... no, this was his Koishii, he wanted him to be aroused.  He trusted him and yearned to feel his body... his cock.  Ibiki shifted back, pressing into the embrace of his beloved.**

Jiraiya caressed lover's body tenderly, what others would not understand, he did... that his Koishii rolling over to face away was a very important step... Ibiki had chosen, without being asked, to turn so his back was exposed... his ass... then pressed back against him, it was a profound gesture of trust.

 

The next thing he wished to try maybe too much but he believed his Koishii could handle it.  Jiraiya drew lube on his fingers, then stroked his slick hand up over his own erection before draping his arm over Ibiki's waist and enclosing his lover's cock.

 

**Jiraiya's amazing mouth began teasing his throat flicking over the sensitive scars and making his breath catch to be released in ecstatic moans, when the rapture of his lube slick hand joined the  tease Ibiki quickly grew fevered with need, his beloved's cock rocked against his ass and his breath caught at the ecstasy.  He could feel Jiraiya's erection was slick with lube, but the overwhelming pleasure he was bringing with every slick slide of his cock kept Ibiki too heated with need to worry about the fact.**

 

Jiraiya had not been sure this wouldn't panic him but his Koishii had accepted it, he'd not feared that it was slick with lube, not worried he planned on pushing in. 

 

**This felt so outstanding that Ibiki pressed back firmly into the slow rock of his beloved's cock, he could feel the head rubbing against his entrance and quelled the fear that tried to rise up, Jiraiya would not press in.  Ibiki groaned his rim teased by the hard flesh felt wonderful... then he pressed a bit more and felt Jiraiya's hand catch his hip stopping him from pressing too firmly.**

Jiraiya's cock was slick as was his lover's entrance, his Koishii's body relaxed... pressing back was not a good idea.

 

**Ibiki felt the hand stopping him and realized Jiraiya had stopped him from possibly pressing too firmly and having the head of his cock slip in.  "I..."  Ibiki's throat felt dry and his heart now drummed, "I want to feel you... inside."**

**Jiraiya shifted his hips back away, but his finger now rubbed softly over the sensitive entrance and he'd released his hold on his hip.  Ibiki pressed slightly, then again, before stilling and quietly he asked, "I want to feel... your cock."**

Jiraiya shook his head, "That is a bit too much Koishii, I will frighten you." 

 

Ibiki quietly nodded and then looked back, "I want to lay on top of you."  Jiraiya lay on his back and his beloved rolled over and slipped up over him covering him and kissing his face and throat.  Then Jiraiya felt his lover position the head of his cock against his entrance and a wave of alarm swept through him, before he could decide to grab him, Ibiki lifted his head and looked him in his eyes, "Do you trust me?"

 

Jiraiya's muscles loosened and he nodded, his Koishii rubbed the head of Jiraiya's engorged cock against his rim lightly.  Jiraiya watched his beloved's eyes, Ibiki was nervous.

 

**The slow brush of just the turgid head directly against  his entrance was different from feeling his lover's cock rubbing over the area, his body wanted to clench in fear, but Ibiki gave soft slow breath's trying to calm himself.**

**Jiraiya soothed, "I am so proud of your strength my love."**

**Ibiki watched Jiraiya's eyes intently as he rubbed a bit firmer but his Koishii did not try to stop him... he trusted him.  Ibiki relaxed, he could trust his incredible partner too.  Trust him to know what they could or could not do, trust him to give him pleasure... and trust his decisions.  Ibiki positioned his lover's cock along the part again and relaxed atop his beloved, "Please rock against me."**

**"Gladly Koishii."  Jiraiya rocked his hips, Ibiki's erection rubbed against his stomach with every rock until both were making urgent cries of need.**

**As he came, his ass cheeks clenched around Jiraiya's cock once more and he gasped, "Please... cum."**

**Jiraiya gave a firm buck and his cum dampened Ibiki's ass once more.  It was less frightening now, this time he had been prepared for the buck.  They lay caressing each other as their bodies calmed, "Jiraiya... you're afraid too."**

**Jiraiya was quiet a few moments, then nodded.  "Yes, I fear something going wrong, you are so very precious to me... your happiness is extremely important to Kakashi and I.  I fear frightening you."**

**Ibiki kissed him, "Do not fear it, you can handle it if I become afraid... I know you can.  You and Kakashi will help me and soothe me.  Jiraiya, you are the only one who could ever do this, I know you can give me pleasure."**

 

Jiraiya's eyes filled with tears, "Thank you Koishii."  Ibiki was certain he could help him find pleasure in feeling someone inside him.  His beloved knew he'd be afraid, but was sure Jiraiya could bring him pleasure that would help him past the fear and that Kakashi would be able to help reassure him... that great of trust was so profound, the love in it deep and absolute.  "We love you so much and will do anything to help you get everything you desire."

 

They rose from the bed and walked into the bathroom.  Jiraiya held him in the warm spray, and finally gave in to his urge to ask, although the answer may only make him feel worse.  "When will Kakashi be back?"

 

**He had been told Jiraiya was anxious and assured Kakashi he'd soothe their lover, but he'd not thought about it only his own fears and uncertainties.  "Jiraiya he is safe, I can never promise a mission won't go bad, but even if it does he will return to us.  He's smart and skilled, with the parchment you gave him he has a way to escape even an unsurvivable complication.  If you asked him he'd tell you that the scroll is kept on his chest beside his heart for several reasons, it's a vital area and if he finds himself in a situation he could not survive, the scroll can be activated by cutting his forearm and laying it against his chest."**

**Jiraiya smiled, "I know he is smart and skilled, I will try not to worry and trust in him to return."**

**"Jiraiya why is this worrying you now?" Ibiki studied his lover's eyes and saw sorrow in them.**

**"This is the day I went to go get him from the Grass village nin... it will be a memory I'll never forget, one of the most terrifying days of my life."  Jiraiya replied somberly.**

**Ibiki nodded, then kissed him, "Don't hold things inside, you should have told him."**

**Jiraiya nodded, he didn't ask again but Ibiki answered his question, "Kakashi will not be back until tomorrow afternoon, it's a courier mission so one of the less likely to turn to a dangerous situation."**

**He couldn't rule out the possibility, there was a good reason it was ANBU that were assigned to transport the classified scrolls, information was valuable and many villages had bands of thieves and rogue nin working for them to intercept important scrolls, but Jiraiya knew that.**

They finished showering and lay together until they were tired enough to go to sleep but Jiraiya was certain he would not be sleeping tonight and that Ibiki knew that. 

 

His uneasy feelings were more than just the terrible day he found his Myobu bound and dyeing... it was Ibiki as well.  The knowledge that he was going to try to have sex with his beloved when he'd been so horribly abused, he would be afraid at least part of the time even if they had worked up to it...  Also he held strong distress at the thought his Koishii wanted to 'buck down' to take his cock inside... he could not think of anything that would accomplish besides increasing his lover's fear. 

 

It wasn't a 'pleasant' thought even if it had not been his emotionally fragile Koishii, he'd had lovers do it and gotten used to quickly catching their hips before they could.  They had no idea how horrifying it was, the fear he'd injured them took all pleasure from feeling their bodies enclosing his erection...but  Ibiki wanted to do it that way, he needed to accept it.  It was important his beloved feel in control and that he had the choice to decide how things would be done.

 

Jiraiya lay listening to his beloved's breathing, he had a strong longing to hold him, but if Ibiki was going to sleep he could not.  He wanted to sleep beside him and cup him to his body, but it would be years before that was possible.  This left him dwelling on the painful memories of his past, memories of lovers he'd held blissfully in his arms, then watched them turn their back and walk away like he was nothing.

 

"Jiraiya, please come lay with me." Ibiki urged softly.

 

Jiraiya gave a little sad smile, his Koishii had been listening to his breathing as well and knew he was upset.  Jiraiya rose and slipped into bed beside his partner.

 

**Ibiki did not know how to comfort him, he could not promise Kakashi was safe or that he'd never get hurt.  Ibiki rolled onto his side looking his gentle beloved in the eyes as he lightly caressed his cheek, "I love you.  I'm sorry I can't help ease your worries."**

**Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "I am ok Koishii, please do not worry."**

**Ibiki smiled and teased, "You want me to not worry about you being worried?"**

**Ibiki was relieved when Jiraiya laughed and replied, "Yes, that's a bit of a paradox.  Tell you what, I'll stop worrying so you can stop worrying about me."**

**Ibiki leaned in and kissed him, "It's a deal."**

 

He was keeping his lover awake with his worrying, Jiraiya caressed his chest, "You should get some sleep before morning."

 

Ibiki  gave a soft laugh, "Keep touching me like that and sleep will be the last thing on my mind."

 

Jiraiya smiled, kissed him, then rose and returned to his bed; he would attempt to sleep as well.

 

================================

**END OF CHAPTER 27**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 27: HAVE FAITH IN ME (A DAY TO REMEMBER)


	28. BELIEVE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 28)

**BELIEVE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 28)**

\---------------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi walked into the house and towards the bedroom, he was used to being able to move around others and not wake them, but it did not surprise him that Jiraiya was awake and sitting up waiting for him by the time he reached the bedroom.  It was likely his lover had picked up his chakra signature before he'd even entered the house._

_He walked over and kissed him, "I woke you."_

_Jiraiya stroked his face, "You were not supposed to be back until noon."_

_Kakashi stripped his uniform off and while his partner's eyes darkened in passion his expression remained one of deep love.  Jiraiya drew him down on the bed as he lay down positioning him on top but it wasn't for sex, he held him cradled to him and explained, "Yesterday was the day I went to get you from the Grass Nin."_

_Kakashi nodded, he lay caressing him, "You and Ibiki are protecting me even when I'm not near..."  Then he looked up into Jiraiya's eyes seriously, "I will never leave you, now that I have you and Ibiki's love I have a reason to always return and I will always find some way to get back to the men I love."_

 

Jiraiya looked over at Ibiki's bed and held out a hand.  He'd known his Koishii had woke but he had left them talk, now he just wanted to feel his loved ones beside him. 

 

**Ibiki rose walked over and lay on the bed stroking his two lovers tenderly, "Saiai, you should not exhaust yourself, you used up a lot of chakra."**

**Kakashi kissed him softly then went back to caressing Jiraiya's chest as he met Ibiki's eyes and replied, "Jiraiya was worried, I wanted to get back quickly."**

 

Jiraiya could feel the small gaps in his beloved's chakra, while he wasn't in any danger he definitely had over done it,  "I think you should take a day off standard missions too."  Jiraiya gently urged, "I can take care of it in the morning if you like."

 

Kakashi looked at Ibiki who nodded in agreement and then replied, "Then I will."  He stroked Ibiki and lay serenely on Jiraiya's chest.  "I don't want you to worry... either of you."

 

**He needed to find a way to reassure his Koishii that their lover was as safe as he could be.  Ibiki leaned in and kissed his Saiai then asked calmly, "What would you do if you knew you were in a situation you could not survive?"**

**"If I have an important document I would find a way to secure it." Kakashi replied, then looked apologetically at Jiraiya.  But his Saiai's next words were eerily similar to what he had told Jiraiya, although a bit more blunt.**  

 

_"I would then use my Kunai to slice my forearm deeply and lay it across my chest.   If it was a situation I could not survive it would not matter that a deep cut could cause me to bleed out in minutes..."  Kakashi hugged Jiraiya wishing he knew how to reply without distressing him, but it was a skill he did not posses and probably never would and this was all he could do.  He stroked Jiraiya's chest then reached to caress Ibiki's too.  "I will do anything I can to return to you both, you will not let me die."_

_Jiraiya nuzzled him, "I know.  I will try not to worry and you should not worry about me, do your mission and come home to us safely."_

_Kakashi had been looking in Ibiki's eyes as he caressed him but at Jiraiya's nuzzle he felt a rush of arousal and looked up at his lover, his cock now swollen with desire.  Jiraiya laughed softly, "Sexy Myobu, looks like my reassurance was a tease."_

_Kakashi nodded, but returned to feeling Ibiki's chest, tracing the scars and bringing a low moan from him.  "I should let you and Jiraiya go back to sleep."_

_He was serious, but it drew soft laughs from both his partners, and Ibiki replied, "I would rather touch you than sleep Saiai."_

_"Myobu... I agree with him, your cries of rapture are a much greater draw than sleeping."  Jiraiya stroked skillfully down his spine to his ass and Kakashi gasped, shivering in delight at his seductive caress.   "I love to feel you both, to touch your bodies and feel your touches on my body."  His hand brushed down to Jiraiya's erection, he was very grateful his lover did not wear sleep pants._

_Kakashi looked at Ibiki.  "I wish to feel you...both of you."_

_His hand slid into Ibiki's sleep pants stroking his cock and feeling his own flush harder.  The knowledge that Jiraiya had been distressed since he left drew a strong desire to bring him pleasure, but he also wanted to touch Ibiki and feel his body cover his own.  Reluctantly he released the wonderfully rigid length of Ibiki's erection, his fingers feathering over the tempting flesh before slipping out to allow his lover to rise._

_Ibiki rose and removed his sleep pants then returned to the bed and began teasing Jiraiya's nipples as Kakashi shifted down to suck on their lover's cock._

 

Jiraiya watched Ibiki's eyes for a moment concerned that it would bring anxiety, they had run into problems related to oral sex only earlier that night... and as strange as it sounded he was glad Kakashi could not take him in his throat, his Koishii's current difficulties would only be made worse by watching their lover do that.  He noticed that while Ibiki did not look uncomfortable, he also was making an effort not to watch.

 

**His Koishii was so vigilant, even with the distraction of his body being teased, his gaze intently studied his face looking for any signs he was distressed.**

**Ibiki nuzzled Jiraiya's throat, and softly murmured, "Do not worry about me Koishii... let me hear your cries of ecstasy and see you tremble at our touch... your cock swollen with need for us."**

**Jiraiya's eyes filled with first surprise, then lust, "Mmmm... you are getting very good at teasing."**

**Ibiki kissed his chest and replied, "I'm learning from the best."**

 

Kakashi gave a slow lick up from beneath his balls up and over them and Jiraiya moaned, his voice husky as he encouraged, "Ah, that feels so good!" 

 

Ibiki had returned to sucking and flicking his nipples with his tongue, Jiraiya could feel his beloved's engorged length against his thigh and groaned in pleasure at the incredible sensations of his lover's were giving him as he coaxed.  "Koishii rock against me." 

 

**Ibiki softly thrust against Jiraiya's thigh and his mouth lifted to cry out as his experienced partner's finger traced the part of his ass with light strokes.  Every rock into Jiraiya's thigh moved the enticing digit along the part of his cheeks and his body relaxed wanting the finger to slip between and brush over his rim.**

 

_Kakashi lifted his head mesmerized by the sight of Jiraiya's captivating finger stroking between Ibiki's cheeks.  He moved up to sit near them and watched with delight, he loved seeing Jiraiya touching their partner and hearing Ibiki's breathless cries of rapture!_

 

**Ibiki was aware his Saiai was watching and that it was exciting him greatly.  Ibiki slipped up over Jiraiya, dropping his legs to straddle his lover's body and bare his rim to his Koishii's touch.  It caused a minor flash of anxiety to lay bared like that with his Saiai aroused, but it was only a very slight hint then it was gone as he concentrated on Jiraiya's touch.**

 

_Kakashi gave an ecstatic whimper, his lips parted in a soft pant at the tease and his gaze did not waiver from the sight for more than a few minutes as he occasionally glanced up to watch their faces before dropping to the enthralling sight of Jiraiya's finger rubbing over Ibiki's rim._

_Kakashi grabbed the lube, but hesitated a moment before doing what he longed to, he dripped a few drops on Ibiki's entrance.  He felt very uncertain he should have done that, but all his uncertainty fled and he gave a delighted cry as Jiraiya's now slick finger slipped over and circled their lover's rim.  It brought loud groans and urgent moans from Ibiki and Kakashi shivered in pleasure.  He was  so glad he'd taken the chance and dampened the area... not only did it look extremely arousing, but he knew it made Jiraiya's amazing touch feel even better!  His partner's cries of rapture excited him so much!_

 

**Ibiki was a bit uneasy, but the way his beloved's damp finger felt wore away at his reluctance and he pushed back into his lover's touch.  Jiraiya lightly nuzzled his ear, "Koishii will you take my finger inside?"**

**Ibiki knew it would tease his Saiai further,  he 'replied' by pressing back and cried out in surprised ecstasy as the powerful pulses of chakra flowed over his entrance then slipped in to send those incredible sensations deep into his body.  Ibiki bucked firmly against Jiraiya, teased to his climax by his Koishii's touch.**

**Ibiki kissed Jiraiya as the last surges of pleasure flowed through him, as he drew back Jiraiya softly urged, "Look at Kakashi.  Our sexy partner loves watching us."**

**Ibiki looked back at their panting lover, his cock engorged and his rapt gaze still on Jiraiya's finger in his ass.   Yes, Kakashi was very aroused by seeing their partner's finger inside him.  He was not sure he was comfortable with how greatly his Saiai enjoyed the thought of something being inside him.**

 

Jiraiya saw a hint of uneasiness in his Koishii's gaze and wanted to dispel any thoughts that Kakashi's excitement meant he desired to fuck him.  He looked over at Kakashi, "Myobu... you like to watch my finger in his body..." 

 

Kakashi nodded looking up from the sight, "I know how good your finger feels inside me and how much pleasure it is bringing him... and his cries of rapture are very thrilling!"

 

**Ibiki knew what Jiraiya was 'demonstrating', it wasn't the idea of something in him that was exciting to their lover, it was the knowledge of how wonderful it felt and hearing his pleasure... he was very thankful for his Koishii.   Jiraiya's understanding of how he felt reassured him and his intuitive partner made everything easier.**

**Jiraiya send a light hum into his still filled passage, the intensity of the chakra pulses grew until Ibiki was giving delighted moans and his cock was flushed hard again.  Then Jiraiya softly urged, "Our beautiful lover needs to be fucked."**

**Ibiki nodded and gave a soft buck at the sensation of his partner's finger slipping out and trailing the tempting pulses over his rim.**  

 

Ibiki rose off Jiraiya and urged their sensual over to lay down, then kissed him as Jiraiya moved down to between Kakashi's legs licking and teasing his tight entrance.  It quickly loosened at the powerful pleasure of his enthralling tongue.  Jiraiya slipped up to suck on his balls as he dampened his finger and when it easily slid in he stroked it a few times then added a second finger, their lover was so aroused he was whimpering at his attempt to resist cumming.  Jiraiya moved away, his Myobu was ready and had been teased enough.  He wasn't surprised when Kakashi brought Ibiki's hand down to block his orgasm.

 

**Ibiki was first surprised then extremely turned on as his seductive beloved drew his hand down to his cock in a plea keep him from cumming.**

**Kakashi trembled and mewed wantonly as Ibiki rose to his knees, lifting his hips slightly, positioning his cock and slowly pressing in.  His hand rested on his lover's cock once more, blocking his release as he carefully fucked him.  His Saiai was so very arousing squirming and crying out in loud rapturous moans.**

**Ibiki felt his beloved's cock jump as he attempted to cum, but unable to get gratification the tight hold remained around his cock, flexing and rippling around the swollen flesh... it was nearly as great a temptation as the howls of need his Saiai  made and the provocative arch of his body.**

**Ibiki was going to release Kakashi's erection, but Jiraiya purred, "Not yet... a bit more."  Ibiki slowed his pace, the feel of his beloved's amazing body grasping him so tightly was making it difficult to resist his need to cum!**

 

Ibiki was going to like this, the reaction of Kakashi at his orgasm after being denied was breathtaking it was so sexy!  His Koishii was quite breathless too at the attempt to resist the temptation of their sensual partner's body... Kakashi cried out feverishly, his hips bucking as he tried to cum again. 

 

"Now."  Jiraiya urged.

 

Ibiki released his lover's cock, covered him and thrust rapidly, Jiraiya smiled and watched both his lovers howl in pleasure as they reached their climax.  Kakashi continued bucking his over stimulated length against Ibiki, his spasming passage grasping and drawing on his lover's cock and bringing long moans of ecstasy, until his hips thrust again in a second orgasm.

 

**Ibiki was breathless as he came again, but the sight of his lover, sweat highlighting his cheek bones his wonderful lips parted in rapture was the tease that brought a last buck and he remained deep within his beloved feeling the tremble of his muscles as Kakashi clung to him passionately.  Kakashi's grasp loosened as their sated bodies calmed.**

**Jiraiya was watching them with equal amounts of desire and amused affection, clearly Kakashi wasn't the only one who enjoyed watching his partners fevered with need and crying out in delighted howls.**

**Ibiki withdrew, then Kakashi and he turned their attention to their partner.  It was a bit worrisome that  Jiraiya was always placing himself last, often he was painfully aroused as he helped give them pleasure.  Did he still think he was not as important as Kakashi?**

**Ibiki was as shocked as Jiraiya as Kakashi moved onto his lap rose up on his knees and pressed down to the base on Jiraiya's turgid cock.**

 

Jiraiya felt a brief flash of distress, but as he felt Kakashi's slick passage slipping down over his pounding cock he'd realized not only was his Myobu 'well lubricated' but also his body was very 'prepped'.  He trusted his lover, Kakashi would not hurt himself.

 

Resting at the base Kakashi looked in his eyes and his palms brushed over Jiraiya's nipples very lightly, teasing him.  "I want to feel you cum in me."

 

Jiraiya gave an only half feigned groan and teased, "Sexy Myobu, there's no way I could resist... your passage snug around my swollen cock, your hair damp with sweat and your cheeks flushed with ecstasy..."

 

**Kakashi shivered, Ibiki could see his Saiai's cock was already semi erect even after multiple orgasms!  His Koishii was so seductive that he could still excite their lover to arousal even now.   Ibiki smiled as Jiraiya subtly teased Kakashi's nipples and cock with light feathers of his fingers**.

 

Jiraiya loved his partners so greatly, Ibiki was watching them with evident pleasure and Kakashi's soft mews and the ripples of his muscles around his turgid length were a merciless tease.  A temptation that grew stronger as his beautiful Myobu rocked his hips bucking his cock into his touch.  Then rose to his knees, his cock flushed as he wrapped his arms around Jiraiya, the highly sensitive flesh pressed between them.

 

_Kakashi placed kisses over his lover's neck and heard Jiraiya's pleading groan as his fingers brushed his hair away from the sensitive back of his neck and he licked it.  Kakashi felt his beloved trembling and drew back looking in his eyes in concern, "I should not tease you..."_

 

Jiraiya shook his head and interrupted, "No Myobu... you _should_ , I love your touches and kisses."  Not only that but Kakashi's body needed a few minutes to recover before he brought his beloved to his orgasm again and Jiraiya could resist his strong desire.

 

_Kakashi returned to kissing his way back to the tender flesh licking and kissing the area, but also slowly rocking his hips, he shivered and mewed his cock swelling harder as he rubbed against Jiraiya's firm torso.  Kakashi kissed his throat up to his lips and his beloved kissed him so skillfully that his body was rapidly starting to ache with need again.  As Jiraiya broke the kiss Kakashi gradually began fucking himself on the exquisite length of his cock_.

 

Jiraiya's hands cupped his ass, spreading the cheeks slightly to brush the sensitive flesh of his rim and send small sparks of chakra playing over the area.  Kakashi cried out, his movements growing faster as his need rapidly escalated.  Jiraiya moaned and tried to remain focused on his partner's pleasure but it was becoming incredibly hard not to give in to the ecstasy of his climax... he wanted to feel his lover's body grasping his cock as his Myobu wailed in rapture. 

 

His lover was in agreement with his desire and Kakashi panted, "Please... cum with me."

 

Jiraiya wrapped his arms around his beloved bucking rapidly into his lover's amazing body, and moaning it felt so wonderful that holding back for a moment to slip his hand between them and press gently took great effort.  When Jiraiya thrust and cried out at his orgasm his partner howled in delight, bucking as he came as well.

 

**Ibiki looked at Kakashi's sated cock as he dropped down to resting at the base again.  He had not cum much, Ibiki felt an odd longing to take his cock in his mouth and tease it, to feel it grow erect in his mouth...  but he couldn't, not only was his lover exhausted but also Ibiki did not know how he'd react to  his Saiai growing erect in his mouth... his beloved would be hurt if he reacted in fear.**

 

Jiraiya noticed Ibiki's yearning gaze, he wasn't the only one, Kakashi had seen it.  He looked up into Jiraiya's eyes sadly then lay his head against his chest a moment. 

 

Ibiki's gaze rose and he leaned forward and kissed Kakashi tenderly, then stroked Jiraiya's cheek, "We should shower and try to get a bit of sleep before morning."

 

Jiraiya and Kakashi nodded and all three men rose and went to shower... and to embrace each other lovingly now that the needs of their bodies were met.

 

As Jiraiya fell asleep he concluded he would just accept Ibiki's desire to take him into his body the way he choose, he would not continue to dwell on it.  And his Myobu loved being an ANBU, he should not be distracting him while he was on a mission by making his beloved worry about him.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------     

 

_In the morning after Ibiki had left Kakashi cuddled into Jiraiya, although both their bodies reacted eagerly to the contact, something had been bothering him since the night before._

_"When Ibiki looks like he wants something so much, it makes me sad that I can't help him.  He looks so frustrated that he cannot do the things he wants to..."_

 

Jiraiya knew this was about the way Ibiki had wished to take Kakashi's sated cock in his mouth and tease it just as he'd done before with his.  He was sure Kakashi was not aware what Ibiki had wished to do and if their lover had taken him in his mouth and remained as he came... Jiraiya was sure it would have upset his Myobu, but that too was something they could work on in time

 

Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, "You are helping, with every day he comes closer to the freedom he desires... when you react in excitement to him trying new things it takes the anxiety from them, when you embrace him and caress him you soothe him and help him find hope..."

 

Kakashi hugged him close, "You are amazing Jiraiya.  You always say the right thing."

 

Jiraiya kissed him, "And I always mean what I say, you help him more than you could ever guess."

 

_Kakashi kissed his chest and shoulders, another thing that he worried about was whether he should stay when Ibiki took Jiraiya inside... he wasn't handling things as well as he'd thought he would and was starting to think perhaps Ibiki was right to worry about how he'd react if things did not go well._

_Jiraiya softly interrupted his speculation, "Myobu, what are you thinking about?  It is evident that it is not something 'pleasant'."_

_Kakashi lay snuggled into his chest as he replied, "I'm worried... I don't react very well when Ibiki is afraid or anxious... when he has sex with you inside him, maybe I should not be here._ "

 

Jiraiya truly believed this was something that should involve Kakashi as well, but if his Myobu did not wish to be there they'd have to respect his wishes.  "Do you want to be here my precious Kitsune?"

 

Kakashi nodded and Jiraiya cupped his chin looking in his eyes, "Then you should be here, you can handle this, I know you can."

 

Kakashi wrapped his arms around Jiraiya and he gave a happy sigh, "You are so extraordinary."

 

Jiraiya felt the same way about both his lovers, they constantly amazed him.  Yes, it maybe upsetting for his Myobu, but this was something important to them all and they would face it together.  Jiraiya massaged his lover, relaxing his muscles and bringing soft delighted groans from the unconsciously seductive man.  "After we get dressed I'm going to the mission desk and arrange for you to have the day off."

 

_Kakashi looked at him curiously, but nodded and did not ask, he knew Jiraiya would be discreet and he would wait there for his beloved to return.  His eyes roamed over his lover's body... he loved the feel of both his lovers, the solid mass of their muscular bodies... very sexy._

 

Jiraiya was amused when he saw that Kakashi was now extremely aroused, "Myobu... so tempting... I think going to the missions office can wait just a bit."  Jiraiya lay on his back and drew his beloved up to lay on top of him, teasing his throat with light nibbles that drew loud breathless cries of need.  His lover was so responsive, it was very clear taking things slowly would be a problem, but not a problem that could not be handled.

 

He nuzzled his lover's ear hearing his urgent whimper, softly he coaxed, "My gorgeous Kitsune... I want to feel you inside me."

 

Now very excited, his answering nod was without hesitation, Jiraiya parted his legs and drew his knees up.  Even as teased as he was, Kakashi was very careful and he didn't want to distress him so waited until his lover's tempting flesh was buried within him before rocking his hips, his hands gently kneading his beloved's ass.  Kakashi matched the rock of his hips and Jiraiya's finger slipped between his Myobu's firm cheeks, with every thrust his finger rubbed over his lover's tight entrance bringing breathless cries of lust from his partner. 

 

_Kakashi bucked into the ecstasy of Jiraiya's body, breathless with pleasure but as his partner teased him with sparks of Chakra he remained very aroused rocking faster until his orgasm swept through him again but his lover's mouth now trailed its way up his throat towards his ear and he gave feverish moans thrusting rapidly as he responded to the feel.  Kakashi howled his cock seated deep, bucking at the intensity of his rapture as Jiraiya's finger slowly pressed into his passage and his mouth reached his ear_.

 

Jiraiya groaned, his partner was so sexy his lusty cries a tease he welcomed and he tilted his hips then gave into his own climax.  As the waves of pleasure ebbed Kakashi's sensual body shimmered with sweat, "Beautiful Myobu."  His beloved's body quivered at the intensity of reaching his release so many times so quickly, but he looked blissful as he lay on top of him.  Jiraiya wrapped his arms tenderly around him cradling his slender lover to him.  

 

==================

 

Jiraiya walked into the missions office and Iruka looked up in surprise, Jiraiya smiled and the amiable man returned his smile, then asked, "What can I do for you?"

 

"I know of a very tired nin that could use a day off the mission roster." Jiraiya replied quietly.

 

Iruka's smile faded to a look of concern, "Just tired right, not injured?"

 

Jiraiya gave him a reassuring smile, "Only tired."

 

Iruka looked relieved, "Ok, I can arrange that.  Tell the tired nin to enjoy his day off."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I will, thank you."

 

Iruka smiled, "It's not a problem.  You have a good day too."

 

Iruka saw movement out of the corner of his eye, his head whipped over to pin a young nin that had done some creative folding to his report and was now launching it across the room.  "Kouta.  You will come pick that up, place in the trash and get another form.  This one had better be filled out correctly..."

 

Jiraiya laughed and waved, Iruka waved to him then turned his attention on the guilty man again as he walked out.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

When he returned Jiraiya found his extraordinary beloved sharpening his weapons, his lover looked over, set the kunai down and rose to meet him.  Jiraiya kissed him affectionately, "We could go spar if you wish..."  doing so would not expend chakra and his Myobu enjoyed it greatly.

 

Kakashi gave a delighted nod at the thought and Jiraiya added.  "After we can go to the bath house for a bit."  This dampened the enthusiastic light in his beloved's eyes.  He knew Kakashi was still very uncomfortable out in public but hoped attempting small outings would help.  The reluctance he showed was a bit greater than was usual for even the very reserved man.

 

Jiraiya embraced him tenderly, "What's the matter Myobu?"  

 

Kakashi looked up with unmistakable anxiety. "I've never been to one... I don't think I can bare myself... I'm sorry."

 

Jiraiya massaged his back gently, "It's ok my gorgeous one, I only suggested it now because it would need to be something we would do without Ibiki, it's not something he could do and it would relax our muscles after sparing."

 

_Kakashi nodded, he could see Jiraiya really had wanted to go, but hesitated before agreeing, "Yes, we can go."  Bare himself... in public... this was going to be terrible!  But Jiraiya had been unable to go unless he wished to go alone..._

 

Jiraiya realized he had not thought it through Kakashi would be no more comfortable in a bath house than Ibiki, although for different reasons.  "Are you sure, my precious one?"

 

Kakashi nodded.

 

\-----------------------------

 

Sparring with Jiraiya had been just as wonderful as it always was, Kakashi's muscles ached with fatigue, but the only feeling he had about going to the public bath was anxiety.  The closer they got the less he felt like he'd be able to do it.

 

Jiraiya had chosen an 'off time' no one should be there... and given how uneasy his Myobu looked, he decided to be sure they'd remain uninterrupted.  He paused at the door and placed a seal on it, now the bath was closed, no one would come in.  Kakashi looked at the door and then at Jiraiya his gaze thankful.

 

_He watched Jiraiya strip then did the same, both washing the sweat from their bodies before walking out to the hot springs... Kakashi froze in the door, the idea of going 'out' without his mask very daunting even if no one would be there to see._

_Jiraiya cradled him from behind and gave his throat a little reassuring nuzzle,  Kakashi's eyes widened as a wave of lust swept through him and he mewed.  Jiraiya gave a soft chuckle as their towel threatened to fall off, their erections now straining at the front.  He drew him out to before the bath and stripped his own towel before stepping into the water, Kakashi hesitated but when his lover bared his incredible cock all thought of being seen slipped away beneath a wave of desire, he removed his own towel and slid into the pool beside his partner.  Then gave a shiver of delight as Jiraiya cupped his hips and drew him onto his lap, straddling the muscular thighs their cocks barely below the water level.  Kakashi looked up to watch Jiraiya's face as his fingers caressed his beloved's tempting length._  

 

Jiraiya gave a low moan, "So sexy my Kitsune."  His own fingers lightly teasing Kakashi's erection the seductive man's lips parted in a soft pant at the intense pleasure, the moving water exciting him further until he whimpered and begged, "Please I want you inside."

 

_He expected to be denied and was surprised when Jiraiya grasped his hips and positioned him over his engorged flesh the water provided 'lubrication' as he slowly lowered him down on his arousal to the base.  He could feeling Jiraiya's large cock filling his unprepared body... it was thrilling!  He felt every inched of the stiff length seated deep inside his passage and shivered in rapidly escalating need_.

 

Kakashi was so very seductive, the way his eyes darkened in desire and the little shivers of pleasure... his soft lips parted in an invitation Jiraiya gladly accepted.  "Mmmm... Kitsune..."  Jiraiya nibbled and teased his lips hearing him give needy whines as he tried to deepen their kiss. 

 

_Kakashi knew how to end the tease and gave a slight shift of his hips, Jiraiya groaned and cupped his head passionately kissing him.  As he began rocking his hips slowly, Jiraiya broke their kiss to moan loudly then began kissing his shoulders and lower neck.  He leaned into his lover's body, feeling his partner's muscles ripple, the flex of his thigh muscles.  He was tempting him greatly but Jiraiya remained still as Kakashi moved on his rigid length_.

 

When his Myobu braced down and softly begged, "Buck please..."  Jiraiya gave careful gentle thrusts, only the fact that the warm water kept his lover's muscles loose kept even those soft bucks from being painful.   Kakashi trembled in delight, petting his chest ecstatically as he panted, "I can feel you so deep..."

 

_He knew he could not stay like this and it was likely Jiraiya desired to come as greatly as he did.... Kakashi gasped in surprise as his lover's powerful arms lifted him up off his engorged length and Jiraiya rose to place him on the edge of the pool swiftly dropping down to take his cock into the astounding pleasure of his throat_.

 

Jiraiya felt a deep joy at his partner's rapturous cries his hips arching into the tight grasp as his cock jumped in a powerful orgasm.  When he freed his beloved's sated flesh he returned to kissing his breathless lover.  This was far better than an orgasm, nothing brought him more pleasure than hearing his Myobu's seductive cries.

 

_Kakashi was alarmed as he realized anyone who'd been in the woman's side of the bath had probably heard him... listened to his moans... it was difficult to relax completely now after that thought and yet he urgently wanted to feel his lover inside him._

_When Jiraiya drew back slightly, Kakashi stroked his face, "I want you inside me, I want to feel your cock filling me..."_

_Jiraiya was so limited with them... for how long had he wished to come to the bath house and not come because of Ibiki and he... and how many other things was he having to give up for them?  At least Ibiki had an honest good reason not to come, his tender scars would not be able to take the heat and stimulation of the waters current.  He had no such excuse._

 

Jiraiya gave a playful groan, "Sexy Myobu!  How could I ever resist!"

 

Kakashi leaned forward and snuggled into his chest, "I don't want you to resist... I need you."

 

That was not a plea for sex...  his beloved was anxious.  Jiraiya cupped his chin drawing his face up to meet his eyes, "I need you, I will never leave you." Kakashi drew a deep breath and sighed, releasing his tension and melting into him, his hand gently stroking Jiraiya's chest.  "I think we've had enough here."  He wanted to get Kakashi back where he was able to relax, he'd caused him enough anxiety for today and he wanted to hold his lover.  

 

They rose and returned to the changing room but after they'd grabbed their clothes Jiraiya drew him close and made the hand signs bringing them home.

 

======================================

 

**It had been a few days, they really had not made much progress at overcoming some of the serious issues that needed to be handled but Ibiki wasn't sure that any of them could actually handled and it felt like he was only making excuses why he couldn't... have sex with Jiraiya in him.  "I think I'm ready to try."**

 

Jiraiya disagreed, but was he holding him back?  Was he being too cautious?  He didn't think so, but he loved him so much it was possible he feared trying, feared something going wrong too much.

 

**Jiraiya looked uncertain and Ibiki softly confirmed, "I want to feel you... inside."**

**Jiraiya studied his eyes seriously and caressed him, "Are you sure you want this?"**

**Ibiki met Jiraiya's gaze somberly and nodded.  He was terrified but they had to at least try to get over this last obstacle.**

 

Jiraiya cradled his Koishii's face with both hands, "This is not submission it is a way of sharing our bodies and giving each other pleasure.  You are not allowing me to use you... you are choosing to allow me to give you pleasure in a different way.  If you decide you do not wish to go any further you **_must_** tell me to stop and I will immediately.  I only want to give you pleasure and the freedom from your restrictions."

 

**Ibiki nodded stiffly, his heart was pounding hard.  Facing this was even more difficult than he'd thought,  he'd expected to be terrified but this went far beyond simply terror.  His heart now hammered so hard he was having trouble catching his breath.**

 

Jiraiya wasn't even sure he'd heard what he said, his Koishii said he wanted this but he was growing more certain by the moment that this was not the time.  Still he would try to relax him and they'd decide if they should go further when Kakashi arrived home, they would not attempt this without their partner present.

 

Jiraiya sat beside him as he lay on the bed, his fingers feathered lightly over his lover's balls trailing teasing pulses of chakra up his cock, even with his sexual knowledge getting him aroused was difficult.  When Ibiki was extremely aroused his finger brushed the area behind his balls back over his rim and felt his beloved's hard flinch, all his muscles were now tight and any sign of arousal had disappeared leaving only rapidly growing distress in his eyes.

 

**At first he'd been very aroused, but the knowledge of what they were going to do made staying  aroused very difficult and the soft touch on his rim sent a wave of panic through him, instinctively his body braced to bear the pain... although he knew _very_ well it only made things worse...**

 

Jiraiya caressed his face, "This is not the time, let's just enjoy each other's bodies."  He lay down and gently urged his Koishii to lay in the 'dominant position' on top of him.  No, this was not the time, not yet.  Ibiki was still too afraid, it would be impossible for him to find any pleasure in it.  There was no hurry, they would slowly reach the point where he could accept it. 

 

**Ibiki nodded and his tension gradually seeped away, Jiraiya would not fuck him, his Koishii would not hurt him.  He felt the light tease of his beloved's finger... memories of the strong pleasure it could give him were a very welcome distraction.  He enjoyed his lover's finger, it brought only pleasure, not pain.**

**It took only moments with his partner's skilled touch before Ibiki completely relaxed and very rapidly his desire escalated to moans of ecstasy and need.  The light pulses of chakra tempted him, he knew how amazing it felt inside, he wanted that... but taking something inside...**

**As the exquisite sensations continued his growing need was quickly banishing the last of his distress and soon he gave in pressing down to take his Koishii's finger inside,  groaning in delight as the strong waves of chakra teased his passage.  It felt so very good and he wanted it deeper, slowly he dropped down on it as far as possible.  Then rocked, moving the wonderful waves of pleasure shallow and deep, crying out loudly in ecstasy.  It felt so incredible!**

**Jiraiya's finger slipped out and two slick fingers rested against his entrance, his insides tingled and he craved the feel of the chakra inside him.  He was aware of what his partner was doing, but he trusted him.  His beloved was just offering the pleasure without insistence.... he would not fuck him.**

**Ibiki moaned at the pulses of the two fingers as they teased his rim, it was different with two fingers... stronger but not really... it was like the chakra pulses grew 'wider' along with the increased width of his fingers.  He pictured that ecstasy inside tempting himself until he pressed down on the two fingers.**

**As they entered Ibiki felt a rising panic, then a spike of pleasure so strong he cried out.  That intense pulse had come from the two fingers, he could do this, he wanted that strong pulse inside him.  As he sank down on the fingers the soft hum of chakra grew to the strength of the pulse he'd felt before and he eagerly took them deep. Panting as his body rocked into them feeling the pulses stroking his body from the inside.**

**He knew Jiraiya wasn't really 'stretching' him he was no virgin... the huge objects they'd forced in his body...  the feel of his body being torn... the excruciating pain...**

 

Jiraiya had been watching him carefully and when he felt Ibiki's muscles suddenly clench tight he slipped his hand between them and brushed chakra over the head of his beloved's cock to combat the pain his lover would feel.  He could not let him feel any pain, it would be a major setback when they'd made so much progress. 

 

**Ibiki gasped and bucked, Jiraiya's finger rested on the tip of his erection and the hum of chakra seemed to flow down over the turgid length. Ibiki groaned rocking his hips and bucking into the tease it was difficult to think of anything but the intense pleasure.  As he reached his orgasm he pressed down into the tempting fingers still inside sending pulses of chakra traveling up into his core.  Then lay on top of his lover, his body still awash in the pleasure, as Jiraiya's fingers slipped out.  Ibiki remained laying on top of him enjoying his Koishii's tender caresses, the love he felt in every touch his beloved gave him.**

 

Jiraiya was very grateful that they hadn't attempted sex, his partner was not ready for anything larger than a finger inside him, two had panicked him.

 

Ibiki began placing light kisses over his chest and Jiraiya could feel his lover's desire to go further, it should be encouraged no matter how much Jiraiya craved release.  Ibiki needed this, they had to slowly move forward towards acceptance and this was more important than sating his lust.  As long as his beloved wished to continue pushing at his boundaries, he would resist body's demands.

 

**Ibiki sarcastically noted, that had not gone very smoothly... and he'd thought he could accept sex, he couldn't even accept being fingered!  But he knew something that would bring them both pleasure, something that would not bring fear... although it once had.   Jiraiya's cock was swollen, pressed between their bodies and Ibiki wanted to feel the ecstasy of his rigid flesh rocking against him... but first he wished to try something that may bring more anxiety.  He kissed Jiraiya, "I want to try more Koishii... I want to rub your cock against me."**

**Jiraiya nodded and although his body trembled in need, he was focused on Ibiki, watching his eyes seriously.  Ibiki wrapped his hand around his partner's engorged cock and heard the soft whimper he gave at the feel of his hand.  Ibiki met his eyes, "Please Koishii... I want to hear your pleasure, I have  to hear your cries of passion..."**

**Jiraiya moaned as Ibiki rubbed the head of his cock against his slick entrance.  He tried to convince himself this wasn't different that all the times Jiraiya had rocked against him, but it was, and after a moment he gave up and positioned his beloved's erection along the part of his ass.  Just the feel of it there had his cock flushing in arousal again, the silky glide of the hard flesh over his rim felt so fantastic!**

**Ibiki rocked his hips and moaned loudly as his erection thrust into the tight area between them and he felt the glorious waves of pleasure from his partner's cock teasing his ass.  Breathless in ecstasy he urged, "Koishii rock against me... let me feel you cum.** "

 

Jiraiya moaned, his beloved's words the last temptation and urgently he rocked his hips, crying out in rapture as he gave in to his orgasm.  His fingers slipped down to continue the tease of his lover's rim until he was giving loud howls of pleasure and his cock bucked between them. 

 

Ibiki lay breathless on top of him then brushed his lips over his partner's but both were too winded to kiss, "Jiraiya you amaze me... so perfect."

 

Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "Thank you Koishii, I will gladly do anything for you."  He would not tell him he was perfect, just as Ibiki would not call him an Angel, sometimes words continued to hurt even after the reason went away.  His Koishii was trying to get past it, but Jiraiya would never be able to call either of his cherished partners an Angel.  They were so much more than that, they were everything to him, he'd gladly die to save either of his lovers.

 

_Kakashi walked in and saw his partners in the bed, their bodies damp with sweat... he walked over to brush his fingers over their bodies.  He felt so lucky to have them, he'd never imagined having a lover, enjoying their touch or feeling the astounding pleasure of a lover's body covering his... and now he had two, two men who loved him and gave him incredible pleasure.  Kakashi's cock hardened at the thought but he just sat on the bed and continued touching them_.

 

**Ibiki watched his beautiful beloved's eyes, the deep love in them brought him such joy.  "Saiai, you are amazing, I love you so much.  Please, strip and let me feel your body against me."**

**Kakashi nodded and rose, stripped, Ibiki slipped off Jiraiya's body.  They drew their sensual lover down between them, Ibiki stroked his Saiai's engorged length feeling his stomach muscles ripple as he moaned, and arched into his hand.  Jiraiya caressed their partner's chest as he watched them and smiled at their lover's enthusiastic reaction.**

**Kakashi's cries and the seductive writhe of his body would have made Ibiki desperately aroused if it wasn't for the fact he'd cum twice in such a brief time.  He watched his slender lover's face as he cried out in release, his Saiai's hips bucking firmly into his touch... Ibiki looked down at the damp flesh, as much as he wished he could take the sated length in his mouth and tease it erect he couldn't do it and his attention returned to his lover's face.**

**His beloved looked so sexy, his cheeks flushed in passion, as he met his Saiai's loving gaze he felt a stronger longing, he brushed aside his reluctance and kissed his way down to his lover's now hardening cock.  As he kissed down his body, Kakashi gave fevered moans but when he reached his pelvis he could feel the distress his beloved was now feeling and without looking up he knew Kakashi would be looking at Jiraiya in a plea for reassurance.  The knowledge that he was causing his Saiai anxiety enhanced his own and Ibiki paused uncertain he should attempt anything more.**

 

Jiraiya was watching them, he dipped his head to kiss his Myobu.  Then his mouth moved to teasing his sensitive throat.  Ibiki had wanted to go further but Kakashi's distress had stopped him.  If he took away Kakashi's anxiety and brought lusty cries from him his Koishii may be able to relax.

    

Ibiki stroked his beloved until Jiraiya brought him to his orgasm again, but he remained uneasy and did not attempt to take him in his mouth.

 

=====================================

 

Over the last few days Ibiki had not done anything that would push at his restrictions, Kakashi's evident distress had left him unwilling to do anything that may cause him further alarm.  It did not surprise Jiraiya that now, with their lover gone on a three day mission, his Koishii attempted to do so.  After stripping Ibiki lay on the bed, Jiraiya could see how anxious he was.

 

"I want you to... finger me." Ibiki asked quietly.

 

Jiraiya gave him a gentle smile, "Not like that."  This needed to be different than the last time, and laying down was a vulnerable position, not good for trying something that brought anxiety.  Jiraiya slipped up to seated and asked softly, "Will you straddle my lap?"

 

**Ibiki stiffly nodded.  He moved to straddle his lover's lap resting his weight on his own bent legs.  This had not gone well last time, he wasn't sure he could bear being touched there knowing his partner would be 'stretching him' to fuck him.  It was different than having his beloved's fingers inside teasing and giving him pleasure... it was threatening, a warning of the pain that would come when Jiraiya fucked him.  No, his Koishii wouldn't 'fuck' him, he needed to remember his lover would only give him pleasure, but convincing himself was very difficult when faced with the situation.**

**Jiraiya cupped his face kissing him tenderly, and after a few moments his hand touched him, but not where Ibiki had thought it would.**

**His extraordinary partner took Ibiki's hand and wrapped their hands around both their cocks, stroking them and giving delighted moans.  Jiraiya's other hand rested gently on his back massaging slowly down and soon Ibiki was giving urgent groans.  Once more his partner's damp finger rested lightly on his rim, Ibiki  was not as alarmed as he'd thought he would be ... in fact it felt good as it softly brushed over the highly sensitive entrance and when the soft pulses of chakra played over the tender area he pressed down taking his lover's finger inside.**

**For a second he paused uncertainly... Jiraiya would be stretching him to fuck him... then his anxiety was smothered by a powerful need to feel the soft pulse deeper and he moaned as it sank further into his body.  He was wrong, this was like when his Koishii teased him... his anxiety was swept away by the strong waves of ecstasy.  **

**When Jiraiya's finger slid out, circling his rim again, the only thing Ibiki would allow himself to think about was how badly he wanted to feel it inside.  He tried to press down, but his lover's touch lightened as he did, denying his desire to feel them inside.  The tease continued until he was growing desperate, again he tried to press down and felt the thicker width slip into his body.  Immediately  he felt a surge of distress and he froze for a few moments, uncertain he wished them inside.  But as they continued sending rapturous pulses deep into him, he resumed rocking his hips and it ceased to matter that the width had increased.**  

 

Jiraiya watched him carefully, trying to ignore the pleasure of their cocks rubbing as they rocked into their joined hands and the temptation of his beloved's ecstatic cries.  He wanted to try another finger but he needed to be ready to distract him if it caused him to clench down on them. 

 

**Ibiki felt his lover's fingers slip out, but before he could think on the fact his partner would probably add another finger his attention shifted to his cock, it felt like waves of warmth flowing over it, the sensation enflaming his need until he was nearly desperate with it.**

 

Jiraiya sent a subtle hum of chakra through his palm enclosing their cocks as his slick fingers rested against his lover's rim tempting him.  Ibiki was giving breathless long moans of passion as he neared his climax and Jiraiya began to reconsider if he should add another finger.  The decision was made for him as Ibiki cried out in rapture cumming and pressed down to take them in.  Jiraiya felt a spike of alarm at his partner's unexpected action and immediately sent strong pulses into his beloved's body.  Ibiki's cries became fevered and his cock jumped in another orgasm.  Jiraiya started to slip his fingers out but Ibiki reached back cupping his hand to keep them inside. 

 

Jiraiya watched his partner's eyes, he was struggling to accept the feel of his fingers, but not succeeding.  Jiraiya could see his eyes darken and turn haunted, he was about to insist that he needed to remove his fingers but Ibiki let go of his hand and allowed them to slip from his body.

 

**No, he was not aroused any longer, but he hadn't wanted Jiraiya to remove them yet.  He'd wanted his body to accept them, but his anxiety began to grow at the feel of the width inside him and he released his Koishii's hand allowing his fingers to slide out.  It was frustrating, he didn't want to feel fear, he wanted to only remember the pleasure.  But without his need dulling his concentration he was very aware of the sensation of having something firm inside him... it did not bring pleasant memories.**

**Jiraiya caressed his face, "My strong Koishii, everything will come in time."**

**Ibiki kissed him deeply, his beloved always knew what to say to help when he became discouraged, "Yes, everything will come."  He was now aware his lover was still erect, he'd been completely focused on him and had not reached his climax.  Ibiki enclosed his partner's cock stroking it and heard Jiraiya breathing speed in growing need, "I want to hear you Koishii."**

 

**Ibiki looked down at where his hand stroked his lover's arousal, Jiraiya cried out at the powerful spikes of ecstasy and bucked as he came.  Ibiki continued teasing him until he had completely satisfied his Koishii's need.  He released his beloved's flaccid cock but remained looking at it, he wished he could lick it.  He wanted to take it in his mouth and feel it harden but he was still too off balance after his trying to accept Jiraiya's fingers remaining inside him and could not even attempt it.  He looked at the cum on his hand... his lover's cum... then brought his hand up and gave it a hesitant lick**.

 

Jiraiya softly groaned at the sight, "Koishii... you have no idea how incredibly sexy you are!" 

 

Ibiki's hand dropped and he kissed Jiraiya passionately when he drew back his voice was husky with emotion, "I am so glad you think so."

 

"I do, and I always will... from the first time you kissed me, I wanted to touch and kiss your sexy body, hear your cries of pleasure... I am so blessed to have your love."  Jiraiya gently embraced him.  Then lightly teased, "I suppose we should go shower, although you sitting here is very tempting." 

 

**Ibiki gave a soft smile, "Yes, it may be a good idea to shower."  His Koishii was worried that right now the feel of drying cum on him may cause him uneasiness... and he was right.  Ibiki and Jiraiya rose and walked in to shower.**

**It was funny how often they were doing this when his Saiai would come home... but then it did make sense, they used the time when Kakashi was gone on missions to work on trying to overcome his fears so it would not distress their partner when he 'reacted'.   This time he wanted to have made much greater progress at overcoming his restrictions before his Saiai returned, he didn't want to upset him anymore.**

 

After a good meal they relaxed a while laying beside each other in Ibiki's bed, at first only talking about light easy things they heard or saw in the village but then Ibiki rolled onto his side and gently caressed Jiraiya's chest, "Do you ever lose hope... feel like my issues cannot be overcome?"

 

 Jiraiya smiled and truthfully replied, "Never, I know you can achieve anything you wish Koishii, you are so strong and determined, bravely finding ways forward and earning greater freedom from the past.  I am so very proud of you my precious one, all the things that you have achieved, I do not know of anyone more brave.  I know beyond a doubt you will achieve all you wish to."

 

Ibiki kissed him, "Thanks to the support of my exceptional partners."  The two men lay quietly embracing each other until they grew tired.

 

**That night Ibiki's nightmare was worse than he'd had in many months and even after Jiraiya had drew him from his dream he could remember every detail and didn't think he could bear to be touched, still he softly asked.  "Will you lay beside me?"**

 

"Yes Koishii, I will do anything you wish... my strong, amazing beloved."  Jiraiya lay down on Ibiki's bed, but left a gap between their bodies, his heart melted when he felt Ibiki roll on his side laying against him... and when his lover quietly asked, "I need you to hold me." Jiraiya fought back tears and tenderly cradled his beloved to him. 

 

Jiraiya could see how tired Ibiki was, "Sleep Koishii, I will protect you.  I promise no one will ever hurt you again."

 

"Jiraiya, tell me about your childhood."  Ibiki's eyes were closed, but his muscles remained tensed.

 

Jiraiya softly began, "One of my first memories of my father was of tracing the marks on his face, I was so jealous of those marks... I wanted them so much and he'd tell me to wait that they would come and that I must be happy as much as possible, look for happiness in everything and the joy in life..."  Jiraiya could feel Ibiki's muscles relaxing and even after he was in a light slumber Jiraiya continued talking quietly about the 'adventures' he had as a child. 

 

**As the sun came up Ibiki opened his eyes and stroked Jiraiya's cheek, his Koishii looked very tired, he'd remained awake watching over him and he still remembered the soft murmur of his voice keeping him grounded in the present.  "Thank you Koishii."**

**Jiraiya smiled tenderly, "I enjoyed laying beside you as you slept."**

**Ibiki kissed him gently, "Get some  sleep now, I will see you when I get done with work."**

**Jiraiya nodded, he did not get up but remained in Ibiki's bed as he fell asleep.  Ibiki watched his extraordinary beloved a moment  then got dressed and went to work, if he hadn't been so shook by his dream he didn't think he could ever have done that.  Jiraiya had remained beside him... not feared he would try to kill him... and he hadn't... _this_ time.  Jiraiya was exceptional, both his lovers were and he was even more determined to reach the point where they would not have to be careful with him and he would be free to do anything he desired.  He would not let his past stop him.**

 

 ------------------------------------------------

 

**It was the time he usually left work and Ibiki rose to put the paperwork in the locked cabinet and smiled as Jiraiya walked in, his Koishii looked like he'd caught up on his sleep.  The memory of Jiraiya's eyes when he woke, the deep love in them, made him smile throughout the day.  Now he couldn't wait to hold him and he drew his beloved into his arms kissing him passionately.   Jiraiya's heated response  made continuing to kiss while still at work a bad idea... unless he wanted to put on a show for his men and he'd rather not.  Jiraiya smiled as Ibiki broke their kiss, nibbled softly at Ibiki's throat and murmured, "I can't wait to feel your body against mine."**

**Ibiki groaned, "Tease... keep that up and neither of us will be able to walk!"**

**Jiraiya laughed and drew back, Ibiki smiled at his provocative lover, he loved when his Koishii was playful.**

**The walk home was peaceful if a bit sexually charged, Jiraiya's finger stroking his palm as they held hands teased but also brought a feeling of happiness, everything had changed so much since the day he'd first kissed the amazing man.**

**As soon as they walked in the door, Ibiki turned immediately started stripping Jiraiya, he wanted so much to do as other lovers did to freely react and enjoy his partners.  He could do this, he could taste his beloved like he used to... Ibiki unfastened Jiraiya's pants, they dropped and his lover stepped free of them.**

**Ibiki knew his Koishii would lead him to the bedroom, but he wanted to try something first...  his fingers brushed and teased his lover's swollen length, stroking it until Jiraiya cried out and he came.  Then Ibiki slipped down before him, he refused to think of the fact he was kneeling before his partner.  Jiraiya was not erect... this was no different that when he tasted him when they were laying down, of course that was not as great of a reassurance anymore.  Ibiki licked the damp flesh, it brought anxiety, but not so strong that he would move away.  His mouth covered the soft length, his tongue exploring the silky skin and feeling it harden in his mouth.**

Jiraiya nearly moaned at the sight of his lover sucking his cock but just urged, "Koishii, I need to kiss you please."  He could not allow himself the become too aroused with his beloved knelt before him, at least this time his Myobu hadn't been here, last time Ibiki knelt before him had caused Kakashi a great deal of distress.

 

Ibiki rose and Jiraiya kissed him passionately as his experienced touch swiftly bared his lover's body,  then he licked his sensitive throat lightly and coaxed, "Let's go to the bedroom I wish to touch you."

 

**Ibiki was very aroused now and when they slipped onto the bed, Jiraiya remained seated and urged him to straddle his lap.  Ibiki did baring his entrance to his lover, Jiraiya dampened his finger and brushed over his rim.  It felt so wonderful!   Ibiki's hips rocked to move the slick digit against the tender area.  Feeling the chakra pulses from his beloved's finger  was  the final tease and he pressed down groaning in delight as he took the temptation into his body.  Feeling the waves of chakra flowing up inside him immediately had him so aroused he fought against cumming.**

**Jiraiya's finger slid out and two returned to circling his rim, it took a bit longer to convince himself he wanted the thicker width inside but when he pressed down taking them inside the powerful pulses made the spike of anxiety he felt inconsequential.   The desire to cum had him trembling hard but he resisted until his Koishii's fingers slipped out and three teased his entrance... even as aroused as he was, it was extremely difficult to convince himself to press down on them.  His urgent need continued to wear away at his reluctance and, as he pressed down onto them, his muscles jumped at his urge to move away.  Then the intense pleasure of the three fingers sending chakra into his core brought a cry and a firm buck into Jiraiya's taut abs he came.**

**Every time they attempted this it grew a bit easier to accept, his lover's fingers brought strong pleasure, only ecstasy never pain and he was beginning to crave the rapture of his fingers moving within him.  Although it still brought anxiety it was becoming easier to deny his fear and focus on the pleasure.**

**One finger he could accept, most of the times they could work up to two fingers, but three still brought more fear than pleasure... then frustration at the distress that swept through him after his climax when he tried to keep Jiraiya's fingers inside... this was something he wanted to get past now.**

**Ibiki leaned forward placing kisses over Jiraiya's throat, "Don't draw your fingers out... please."**

**Jiraiya cupped his cheek and kissed him, "Anything Koishii, I will do anything for you, just ask."**

**Ibiki renewed the kiss trying to focus on the feel of his beloved and convince himself he wanted his fingers inside him, remind himself that they only gave him pleasure... they were really not very thick... "Jiraiya I want more... tease me."**

**The soft hum of chakra Jiraiya sent into him brought 'interest' not quite arousal yet but they tempted and after a few moments Ibiki's body relaxed wanting the stimulation.  The wonderful sensations steadily grew more tempting and he hesitantly shifted his hips, not quite a rock but it bought the memory of how astounding his lover's two fingers felt inside his body... but it wasn't two, it was three.   Ibiki rocked then froze, when not fevered with need it was alarming to feel the thickness move inside him**.

 

Although his Koishii's muscles didn't clench he was looking uneasy now and his tone held a hint of disappointment,  "Two..."

 

Jiraiya nodded and started to slip his fingers out, but the frustration in his beloved's eyes made him wish to try to work past the obstacle.  Jiraiya knew he could do this... maybe not choose to move on them yet, but he could want them inside greatly.  He sent stronger waves of chakra into his beloved as he began to slide them out and the tease worked, Ibiki moaned loudly and pressed back into the pleasure. 

 

Again Jiraiya began slipping his fingers out, the strength of the pulses still growing and his Koishii gave a cry of need, pressing down into them.  When Jiraiya's fingers began to slide out again Ibiki cupped them into his body,  his eyes dark with hunger and his cock delightfully rigid in demand for stimulation.  Jiraiya wrapped his hand around his partner's erection and his beloved gave a slight rock that was encouraged by the pulse of chakra that played over his shaft as a result. 

 

**Ibiki was panting and resisting his growing desire to cum unwilling to give up the escalating pleasure of Jiraiya's touch, he gave a firmer rock and felt a chill at the thick width moving inside him but before he could become anxious he received a stronger pulse over his throbbing length.  He wanted it... yearned for the tease  of his cock as waves of ecstasy swept through him from the fingers inside him.**

**Ibiki gave a much firmer rock and only the powerful spike of chakra inside and over his cock stopped his anxiety from turning to panic.  Instead Ibiki arched howling in rapture his climax surging through him as he gave rapid bucks cumming, then reaching his orgasm again.  As his body grew sated he felt his Koishii's fingers slip out.  He lay his head against his lover's shoulder as he caught his breath, Jiraiya gently kneaded and loosened his muscles.**

**He had wanted to feel only the sensation without the distraction of his anxiety as they entered, but he still wasn't sure he could have accepted them if it had not been for the glorious pleasure his Koishii  traced over his cock... clenching down hard several times around the thickness had brought a bit of uneasiness but nothing he couldn't dismiss in the rapture of his orgasm... still, he was glad Jiraiya had slipped them out as his pleasure was ebbing... he didn't think he could take anymore.  Even with that great of ecstasy, the memory of them moving in his body left him off balance.**

**Ibiki sat up and looked his Koishii in the eyes, "Let's go shower... I want to hold you."**

**Jiraiya lovingly caressed his face, "Anytime you like, I love every touch you give me."**

**When they walked into the warm spray of the shower Ibiki turned, his hand wrapping around Jiraiya's engorged length, his partner never gave thought to putting aside his needs for him... but he should not have to do so.  This was his beloved, he should be giving him great pleasure like his Koishii gave him, he should not always be placed second.**

**Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's cock listening to his soft moans then slipped his fingers back to brush the part of his ass.**

**"Oh Koishii!  Your touch is wonderful! " Jiraiya gasped out, breathless with desire and Ibiki watched the rapture on his face as his fingers slid between the firm cheeks rubbing lightly over his sensitive entrance and hearing the delighted cries of his beloved.**

**This was the way it was supposed to be with lovers... this was how he should feel at his partners touch... Jiraiya had been aroused for a while now and urgently he rocked into his hand.  Ibiki watched the ecstasy on his beloved's face as he came.  "I love you Koishii."**

**Jiraiya embraced him and replied, "I love you, always, my extraordinary partner.  I feel so blessed just to have your love.  I feel so much pride as I watch my strong beloved breaking free of the past."**

**Although his Koishii was frustrated by the 'slow progress', he really was making progress faster than anyone could ever expect.  Jiraiya kissed him softly then redirected his beloved's thoughts, "I bought fish this afternoon."**

**Ibiki smiled, "Karei?"**

**Jiraiya nodded and Ibiki gave him a tender kiss before replying "I suppose we should finish cleaning up so I can go make us a meal..."**

**Jiraiya was glad he'd bought Karei, it brought back happy memories for them both, it was one of the first things his Koishii had ever cooked for him.**

**=======================================**

**END OF CHAPTER 28**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 28: BELIEVE (ASKING ALEXANDRIA)


	29. CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 29)

**CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 29)**

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya wanted Ibiki to feel comfortable continuing to work on his limits even when their partner was home.  Kakashi would learn how to handle things a bit easier if he got more familiar with how to soothe Ibiki when things were making him uneasy.  What he wished to try should be an area they could work on, something that their lover would not be greatly distressed by... and hopefully Ibiki could accept it without too much distress. 

 

Kakashi kissed Ibiki passionately and Jiraiya cupped his Koishii very lightly from behind for a moment, he didn't want to frighten him and he'd never try what he planned on doing without permission.  "Koishii, can I touch the backs of your knees?"

 

Ibiki's posture stiffened slightly, but as Kakashi nuzzled and placed kisses over his throat his tension eased.  Jiraiya had continued giving massages and slowly they were dealing with the issue, however they really had not attempted this since they had started with the massages.  Behind him, out of his sight, touching an area that had been badly abused still brought anxiety... sometimes strong anxiety.

 

**These were the men he loved, what happened was in the past, it did not have anything to do with his beloved and he wanted both his lover's touches.  To not hold anything back and be freely touched, "Yes Koishii, please do."**

 

Jiraiya was so proud of his beloved, he tried very hard to get past things that had traumatized him.  Pushed past things that would have broke most men and left them too shattered to ever function again.  "You are so very exceptional, my strong Koishii." 

 

Jiraiya placed kisses on his shoulder, then slowly down, he watched to see if he was causing his lovers too great of distress... but he'd been right to attempt this now.  Kakashi was very aroused writhing against Ibiki and whimpering into their kiss.  Jiraiya smiled when he saw why... his Koishii was doing his best to distract himself, his fingers were feathering over their sensual partner's erection as they kissed.

 

Jiraiya continued steadily down the caress of his hands following his soft kisses, he felt a rush of excitement as Ibiki groaned in pleasure at the feel of his kisses over the firm cheeks of his ass.  He  wanted to tease the firm globes until they relaxed and let him lick his beloved's entrance... but that was for another day, this was important. 

 

Jiraiya continued teasing his Koishii by licking the part as his fingers lightly brushed the back of Ibiki's left knee.  It was hard to not feel sorrow as his fingers softly touched the area that had been ravaged so badly and he felt the jump of his lover's muscles.  His brave partner was trying not to draw away, they'd hurt him so very badly... tried to maim him... the very tender area stripped of skin...

 

**Ibiki felt Jiraiya pause, his fingers just tracing gently over one scarred expanse then the other, he could tell just by the way that his beloved was touching him that he was upset.  He was giving light careful touches as if he was touching raw flesh and afraid of causing him pain.  Kakashi was now looking down at where their partner knelt with his face down.  He looked at Ibiki in distress and Ibiki urged, "Saiai, Jiraiya needs you."**

**Kakashi nodded, he drew back and walked around to stroke Jiraiya's back tenderly.  Jiraiya's fingers dropped and Ibiki turned drawing him up so he and Kakashi could embrace him.  The sorrow in his eyes was enough to bring tears to Ibiki's eyes, "Shhh... Koishii.  It's over, long ago, they are just scars... that was the past, do not feel sorrow."**

**Ibiki was surprised when Kakashi spoke, "They are signs of bravery... marks of the strength of our beloved."**

**Jiraiya looked back at him and smiled adoringly, "Yes..." His attention turned to Ibiki again.  "We are so blessed to have you."**

**"We should finish our shower."  Ibiki coaxed and kissed him, Jiraiya nodded but sadness lingered in his eyes.  No, his beloved was still hurting they needed to continue.  "Before we do I want to feel your touch on the backs of my knees..."  At the visible reluctance in his lover's eyes Ibiki added, "Just like my chest you will help me learn to find pleasure in the sensations, I do not want to give that up.  I want what others have."**

**Jiraiya nodded and gave him a deeply loving look, "You will get that, we will reach the point where you can find pleasure."**

 

Jiraiya was a bit ashamed that he'd let his feelings interfere when his Koishii had been doing so well, he'd been accepting the touches.  No more sorrow, he had to try to leave what had happened in the past just like his brave partner, he could not let it taint the present.

 

**Kakashi stepped forward to touch Ibiki as his Koishii slipped around to behind him once more. He gasped as his Saiai began stroking his cock, the semi flaccid length quickly returned to its needy state.  His lover had grown extremely good at teasing!  Jiraiya's hands slowly massaged down his back as their sensual partner's touch easily tempted him to urgent hunger.  When Ibiki felt his Koishii's hands on his ass he pressed back slightly into their wonderful touch.**

**Jiraiya's fingers paused in their path, lingering to tease the part of his ass as his Saiai brought waves of ecstasy with every slip of his hand.**

 

This time Jiraiya didn't resist his urge to trace the part of his lover's firm cheeks with his tongue as his fingers continued down to feather lightly over the sensitive flesh at the back of his beloved's knees.

 

**The sensations his lovers were giving him were nearly overwhelming rapture and the gentle brush of Jiraiya's fingers over the backs of his knees brought a strange feeling that blended with the extreme pleasure... not exactly pleasure more like a odd but not unpleasant tingle, even that was difficult to concentrate on as he fought between the urge to arch into his Saiai's touch or press back to feel his Koishii's tongue**.

 

Jiraiya was delighted, his decision before not to give into his desire to lick him had been wrong, the sensation from the damaged nerves on the back of his knees would be associated with his ecstasy at he and Kakashi's actions.

 

Ibiki moaned and cried out breathlessly as he rapidly neared his climax.  Jiraiya rose his fingers tracing over the area his tongue had left and he was surprised as his Koishii gasped, "Please." and pressed back into his touch.  Ibiki wanted to feel his finger inside as he came! 

 

Jiraiya brushed chakra pulses over the area feeling his lover's entrance soften eager for the pulses inside.  The strength of his pulses increased as he pressed gently and he felt joy as Ibiki pushed back taking it inside. 

 

**Ibiki moaned, trembling as he resisted his climax as long as possible.  It had been a bit distressing to feel his lover's finger enter his body, but less so with each time and it was extremely hard to focus on anything but the overwhelming pleasure both his partners were giving him.  As he reached his orgasm he howled in rapture, the pulses of chakra traveling up inside him and the sensation of his Saiai's hand still skillfully drawing on him, kept his body hyper excited until he was too sated to cum anymore.  His exceptional beloved's finger slipped out trailing soft waves of chakra over his rim as the last waves of ecstasy still raced through him.**

**Ibiki groaned, too exhausted to speak for a moment but then teased, "I don't think you are supposed to sweat while taking a shower!"**

**Kakashi smiled and Jiraiya laughed**.

 

The ironic thing was he'd been concerned how Ibiki and Kakashi would react but it had been him that had the difficulty and they had been the ones to comfort and soothe.  His Koishii was very brave and Kakashi was stronger than he believed he was.

 

_Kakashi knew their lover was badly scarred on the back of his knees and that touching there was a restriction that Ibiki was trying to get past... but the way Jiraiya had reacted.  There was more to it than just being scarred, that was not a place he'd ever try touching without being asked.  He was so glad they had Jiraiya, he had to handle so much, he was always so strong coming up with solutions to problems.  It was a bit frightening to see him react like that_.

 

================================================

 

Kakashi had the day off since he'd just returned from a mission.  His Myobu had eventually relaxed at the bath house and now Jiraiya wanted to try something a bit different, he believed his lover was ready.  "Will you come have lunch with me by the Koi pond in the park?"

 

Kakashi looked very uncertain, but nodded.  Jiraiya was not surprised when his beloved put on a uniform and his mask.  As they walked out the door his Myobu became emotionless just as he always did.  Jiraiya had packed them a lunch although he wasn't sure his lover would be able to relax enough to eat.

 

When they arrived at the shaded area beside the pond; Jiraiya sat and, a bit reluctantly, Kakashi did as well.  He opened the basket and took out a sandwich, but his beloved just sat stiffly looking out over the pond.  As Jiraiya threw bits of bread out to the Koi, his lover remained woodenly looking out at the water. 

 

_It felt like everyone was staring at him, he couldn't eat, his stomach tight with tension.  He'd wait until Jiraiya was done, when he was ready they could return to their home._

 

This wasn't going as well as he'd hoped, perhaps he was not ready yet.  Jiraiya made the hand signs placing a Genjutsu around them and Kakashi looked at him in surprise.  Here, even if someone noticed the Genjutsu, it would not be considered strange.  Lovers often cast them around themselves so they could have privacy...

 

Jiraiya couldn't help a bit of amusement at the thought, yes privacy... one of his Angels had an exhibitionist streak and liked the thrill of having sex outdoors in lightly populated areas... like this park.  He'd cast many Genjutsu's here.  Jiraiya's amusement fled as he remembered the ugly scene that happened when his Angel left him.  Hakujou had not said anything, he'd given no indication that he wanted to 'see other people'.  

 

He remembered the day distinctly, it had been very painful when he'd come home to find another man tossing his belongings out of the apartment.  It had been one of the worst break ups he'd experienced.  He still felt sick and ashamed at the angry words Hakujou's new lover snarled at him... that break up held a special pain... the humiliation of not knowing and everyone watching his possessions thrown out the door like garbage... in the end they had become garbage, he'd just left, left everything and walked out the gate...

 

_Kakashi had pulled down his mask, his heart was hammering and he pressed against his lover's side and took his hand, "Don't be sad... I will picnic with you."_

_Jiraiya gave a forced smile, "I think I've changed my mind, I don't think I feel like being out in the village anymore."  He slipped Kakashi's mask back up and dismissed the Genjutsu.  Then rose and started back towards the house._

_Kakashi looked between Jiraiya's retreating form and the picnic basket he'd just walked away and left, then quickly went to join him.  His beloved was very upset, Kakashi darted anxious looks over at him, he was too distressed to care that people could see him expressing emotion.  "Jiraiya... are you ok?"_

 

Jiraiya paused and looked at his Myobu, he had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't realized how he was frightening him.   "Can I put my arms around you?"  The immediate nod Kakashi gave was proof of how distressed he was.  Jiraiya wrapped his arms around him and rapidly made the hand signs returning them to their living room. 

 

Even there Kakashi didn't release him.  Jiraiya stroked his back gently, "Myobu.  I'm sorry." 

 

Jiraiya kissed his temple, Kakashi removed his mask and stepped back just enough to strip before clinging to him again.  He slipped his hand into Jiraiya's shirt to rest on his chest, then tugged it open and pressed against his bare chest.  He'd really upset his beloved, this was a more extreme version of the reassurance he always sought before going on a mission.  He hadn't had contact or comfort as a child now that he had it, he found great reassurance in feeling his body against theirs.  Jiraiya slipped his shirt off and cradled him close, Kakashi lay his head against his chest again as he stroked his body.

 

When he wasn't clinging as much Jiraiya moved back just enough to remove his clothes, then embraced his beloved again.  Kakashi tightly pressed against him, his hand once more stroking his body as his head lay against his chest.

 

_Kakashi needed to feel him, the way Jiraiya had just walked away... not seemed to know he was there.  It felt like Jiraiya had rejected him... he'd not had a picnic with him, not relaxed like a normal lover and Jiraiya had gave up on him_.

  

"Myobu.  I didn't mean to upset you, my precious one."  Jiraiya felt him tremble and crooned, "Shhh... my wonderful beloved, so extraordinary... I am so lucky to have your love, I don't ever want to lose it."

 

Kakashi glanced up, then kissed him very softly.  "You gave up on me... walked away..."

 

"No.  My gorgeous Kitsune, I was selfish, lost in my memories and... there's no excuse.  I frightened you and I'm very sorry." Jiraiya kissed his brow.  "I will never leave you, never... I will stay with you always."

 

"I need you."  Kakashi quietly pleaded, although his fingers slipped down to feather over Jiraiya's cock the look in his eyes showed his words held much deeper meaning. 

 

Jiraiya crooned, "I need you, my precious Myobu... I want to hold you and kiss you, hear the cries of pleasure I can bring from your lips..."  He kissed his beloved's throat softly as he spoke, both the tease of his kisses and his seductive purr brought an immediate strong response.  Kakashi's breath caught and his cock hardened against him.  Jiraiya cupped his fragile lover's face placing kisses gently over it as he murmured, "and look into your eyes that are full of the love I couldn't bear to be without."

 

_Kakashi held back from pleading for Jiraiya's cock to fill him, he was sure his partner could see his desire... his desperation to feel their bodies connected and know he was giving Jiraiya pleasure... but he may not wish to, he may not want him.  He wanted Jiraiya's touch so very much, any touch he could get, it was more than just the powerful lust that had rose up in him at his skilled lover's caress._ [/i]

  

Jiraiya drew Kakashi back to the couch and sat, then brought him down straddling his lap, Jiraiya's legs parted spreading his enticing lover's firm cheeks and baring his tender entrance.  Jiraiya's fingers feathered over Kakashi's arousal teasing brushes as he dampened his other finger and slowly pushed it into his lover's unprepared passage.  He would sate his beloved's need without taking the chance his anxious partner would cause himself pain in his strong urge to feel him.

 

_Kakashi shivered in excitement and mewed, the feel of his lover's finger slipping into his tight body felt good... it felt large sitting inside him when his body had not been teased into loosening.  Kakashi moaned and clung to Jiraiya._

_Jiraiya was watching him intently, deep love in his gaze.   Kakashi panted, "I like it..."  his body now welcomed the digit, eager for the stimulation_.

 

Jiraiya knew he needed to be careful, not tempting his body into wanting them before pushing into his body gave a 'stretching' feel that mimicked being filled with his cock, but he could cause him pain if he was not very gentle.  "Do not move Myobu."

 

Kakashi nodded, his lips parted in erotic little whimpers of pleasure.  Jiraiya slipped his finger out and coated two very heavily.  Watching his face he pushed them at the tight entrance, pressing softly until the tight hold slowly gave to allow his fingers in, his sensual beloved cried out but it was in excitement.

 

_Jiraiya's fingers felt so big!  Like they filled him... he wanted to rock into them, but remained still.  Giving soft groans of delight as they sank in flush, then gasping out a surprised and ecstatic cry as Jiraiya's other hand stroked his cock and waves of chakra played along the engorged length with every stroke.  Kakashi's muscles clasped his lover's fingers and he moaned rapturously at the feel  of them in his tightly clenched passage_.

 

"So sexy."  Jiraiya purred.    Kakashi lay forward into him, the muscles of his tight ass contracting around Jiraiya's fingers and drawing on them.  He kissed his lover's throat and felt the strong spasm of his passage as he came. 

 

Kakashi lay snuggled into his chest as he slowly caught his breath, then looked up and almost timidly asked, "Will you... I want to feel your cock inside me, please?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, this was further proof Kakashi was seeking a connection, reassurance... his beloved was not aroused that would make it less of a tease for him, but also a bit more challenging.... Jiraiya would need to wait, he wanted to know his Myobu would not hurt himself and that his cherished lover was getting pleasure as well..  

 

He slipped his fingers out of his gorgeous partner and easily carried him into the bedroom, setting him on the bed on his back and laying between his parted legs.  Jiraiya wanted to groan as his turgid cock was pressed to the bed, but he resisted knowing Kakashi would feel ashamed for 'making him wait'.  Then Jiraiya began licking his balls and stroking his pelvis.  He was slowly arousing his beloved once more, his hands cupped his lover's firm cheeks and he parted them then licked his way down until his tongue was caressing the tempting entrance.  Licking it and pressing gently as it quickly loosened for him, but waited until Kakashi was flushed hard once more.

 

His Myobu's excitement escalated as the tease continued, until his beloved was writhing and mewing passionately, it was incredibly tempting but he'd never hurt his precious one.  Jiraiya moved up to lay on his back and drew his seductive lover's amazing body up on top of him.

 

Kakashi moaned and pressed back firmly into his erection, Jiraiya was breathless, desperately desiring to feel the caress of his partner's body around his aching cock but he caught his Myobu's hips, "Carefully... I don't want to hurt you."  Kakashi nodded and remained still as Jiraiya pressed his cock at the slick entrance feeling it give eagerly for him.  Slowly he pushed in, he tried to ignore the pleasure it brought and the rapidly escalating need.  His gaze remained on Kakashi's face ready to stop if he saw pain.

 

Kakashi placed loving kisses on Jiraiya's chest between ecstatic moans and shivered at the need to remain still as it pierced his body.   He gave rapturous cries at the feel of his partner's rigid length sinking in deep until it was seated at the base.  As his beloved gently rocked his hips Kakashi embraced and kissed him passionately, the slow rock felt amazing!  It quickly brought his climax and he cried out in ecstasy.

 

Jiraiya wanted to groan as his cock throbbed painfully at the tease of his lover's muscles drawing on his erection.  The urge to fuck him was strong, but not stronger than his resolve to not cause his Myobu pain.  He loved both his partners so greatly that the thought brought a surge of protectiveness and he cradled his beautiful lover to him, placing soft kisses on his face.  "You are so very precious to me."

 

_Kakashi smiled happily but he was aware his beloved had once more done everything he could to give him pleasure and, as was often the case, received no release himself.  Kakashi lifted off his lover's turgid flesh, although he wanted it inside him very much he was not being fair, he wanted Jiraiya to be happy, not frustrated.  Once off the tempting length Kakashi placed kisses over his partner's chest as his fingers teased the swollen head with chakra strokes until Jiraiya cried out in rapture at his orgasm.  Then he lay cuddled into his lover's side, just lightly caressing Jiraiya's body._

_Kakashi dwelled on the pain he'd felt when he thought Jiraiya didn't want him anymore.  It hurt his beloved that he didn't react right, not like a normal lover, he must learn to be a better partner or Jiraiya would get tired of him.  He loved him so much and Jiraiya said he loved him, but his beloved was so limited with him, he couldn't do anything with him.  How long would he accept having to give up all the things he enjoyed doing?  How long before he became frustrated by having a 'flawed' partner and not being able enjoy the same freedoms he'd have with a normal lover?  He couldn't let him go_.

 

Soon it would be time to walk up and meet Ibiki, although Kakashi was not visibly anxious Jiraiya knew he was.  He'd distressed him greatly, he'd been selfishly lost in his own thoughts and hurt his precious Myobu. 

 

\-----------------------------

 

Jiraiya noticed Kakashi now stood a bit closer even when they walked through the village and in to greet their lover.  As they walked into Ibiki's office his Koishii glanced over, then set the papers in the cabinet shut and locked it.  Although not clinging to him anymore he knew Ibiki could see Kakashi was uneasy.

 

**He could file those papers tomorrow, something had happened and Kakashi was more anxious than he'd seen him in a very long time.  Ibiki walked up and embraced his Saiai, kissing his face and cheeks lightly and feeling him pressing into his kisses seeking reassurance.**

**He hugged his beloved firmly, Jiraiya had told him that when very upset it was soothing for their partner to feel enclosed and protected by holding him a bit firmer than was normal.  His Saiai's stress melted away and he lay his head against Ibiki a moment then lifted his head quickly and looked for Jiraiya, when he saw him he reached out a hand and Jiraiya took it.**

**It was clear whatever had happened it had involved Jiraiya, so not another issue with someone touching his Saiai... but possibly an issue about someone touching Jiraiya.  The way he'd suddenly looked for him as if afraid to leave him out of his sight was very unusual.  Ibiki urged, "Let's go home, I'll cook for us."**

**Jiraiya softly laughed and a bit too lightly teased, "What would we do without you?  We'd starve."**

**Ibiki knew his Koishii had been attempting to ease the mood but at his words Kakashi's gaze lifted to meet Ibiki's with worry and his body pressed tighter against him.**

**Ibiki replied lightly to Jiraiya's jest but his eyes met Kakashi's lovingly.  "You will never need to find out, I won't let either of you get away and I won't ever leave either of you."**

**Kakashi's anxiety eased once more and he gave a little smile stroking Ibiki's face, "I am happy."  Then his smile faded and he said, "I need you, both of you."**

**Ibiki could smell the scent of soap on his Saiai's skin, it was likely his two lovers had had sex and showered before coming... needed them, this was not really a request for sex.  "I need you and Jiraiya, lets skip walking today."**

**Kakashi nodded, but then looked over at Jiraiya and relaxed as he nodded agreement to the proposal. His sexy partner stroked down Ibiki's body to his cock which responded enthusiastically to his soft caress and then stepped back.  Ibiki groaned, "Such a tease... a wonderful amazing tease.  I love you Saiai."**

 

Kakashi gave a full smile, it held Ibiki and Jiraiya mesmerized, as it always did.  They were the only ones to see that smile in all of Kakashi's adult life, the other villagers had no idea what beauty they were missing.

 

"So extraordinary."  Jiraiya murmured leaning in and kissing his temple.  Kakashi lay back into him, then looked a bit uneasy as he looked at Ibiki.

 

_He wanted Jiraiya to hold him and transport with him, but what if it made Ibiki felt rejected?  He didn't actually need Jiraiya to do it... but he still wanted to feel his arms, to feel safe and loved, and to know Jiraiya still wanted him._

 

Ibiki smiled,  "I'll be right there I want to do one last thing before going."

 

**Kakashi nodded and Jiraiya made the hand signs, then they were gone.  Ibiki remained looking at the empty space a moment thinking about his lover's behavior, then walked out and locked his door before leaving the building and transporting home**.

 

\--------------------------

 

Jiraiya and Kakashi waited in the living room for their lover.  He was sure his Koishii had not had anything he'd needed to complete, he'd given him a few more moments with Kakashi to soothe him.  Which Jiraiya immediately put to use by cradling his slender lover to him and placing soft kisses over his face as he vowed, "I will never leave, you and Ibiki are the center of my world.  Nothing could make me wish to leave you my precious Myobu."

 

Kakashi pressed into the kisses and stroked Jiraiya's chest, both looked over as their partner appeared.  Kakashi started to move away from Jiraiya, hesitated reluctant to move away from his touch, then went to kiss Ibiki.

 

Jiraiya smiled and walked over to brush a kiss over his Koishii's lips as well.  Ibiki cupped his head deepening the kiss and hearing both Jiraiya's low moan and the rapid excited breaths his Saiai was giving at watching them. 

 

_While they kissed Ibiki had bared Jiraiya's cock and now teased the tender flesh, Kakashi watched delightedly, then began stripping Jiraiya's amazing body.  As he drew down Jiraiya's pants he placed kisses over the firm cheeks and traced the part with the tip of his tongue_.

 

When Ibiki drew back, Jiraiya moaned at the urgent desire now coursing through him at the feel of both his lovers and looked back at Kakashi, his voice husky with passion, "Touch me my Myobu, feel my body eagerly begging for you."

 

_Just the tease in his tone had Kakashi's cock flushing harder with a powerful spike of need, his finger traced the damp entrance pushing gently and feeling the warmth of Jiraiya's body accepting his touch... encouraging it.  He whimpered and shivered at the feel of his lover.  The tight grasp tempted him now that he knew how that incredible hold felt around his cock and the sounds of pleasure his lover gave at feeling him moving within his body, but he still hesitated to do more than touch him._

 

**Ibiki smiled and watched his Koishii's face as he stroked his erection he was delighted at the increasingly fevered moans their lover was giving.  Jiraiya's hips now rocked into his touch and Kakashi's finger and he gave deep ecstatic cries.**

 

"I want you please Myobu... let me feel you moving in my body." Jiraiya urged, tempting his beloved further.  Kakashi was so excited he could only nod and he stripped his own clothes, grabbed the lube and Jiraiya felt his slick finger slip into his body.  "More... ah, your touch feels so good!"  He knew Kakashi was still a bit afraid of hurting him and now hesitated uncertain what to do.  Jiraiya encouraged, "I love when you fuck me..." 

 

_Jiraiya wanted him, he wanted to feel him inside giving him pleasure like the amazing man always gave them.  Kakashi whimpered, his reluctance quickly eroding under their combined needs, he drew more lube coating his cock and pressing into the hot grasp.  Jiraiya's moans teased him until he forgot his uncertainty and began thrusting into the extraordinary rapture of his beloved.  His hand stroked over his lover's taut body, feeling his muscles flex beneath his hands at the intense pleasure_.

 

As greatly as Jiraiya was enjoying this he tried to keep focused on his lovers.  He wanted to be sure Ibiki was not be upset by the fact he was 'restrained' between them and being fucked by their partner, but his Koishii seemed to be enjoying it.  Under his lovers combined stimulation it was becoming very difficult to focus on anything, but the rapture they were giving him.

 

**Ibiki cupped Jiraiya's head kissing him passionately as he neared his orgasm, teasing him until he broke their kiss to cry out.  His Koishii's cries were immediacy joined by Kakashi's as the contractions of Jiraiya's muscles around his cock brought his climax.**

**Ibiki delighted in their cries, although his cock was now painfully throbbing, this was the way it was supposed to be.  Him bringing pleasure to his lovers, without memories of his past haunting him and stealing the joy**. 

 

Jiraiya's gaze slipped down to his Koishii's enclosed erection, his fingers swiftly baring the tempting flesh.  Kakashi withdrew and moved to the side to watch raptly.  "Koishii,"  Jiraiya crooned teasing his lover with his voice as well as his hand as he caressed the turgid length lightly.  "I want to taste you... to hear your cries of rapture as my hot mouth encloses your hard cock, stroke my tongue over the flushed head... sinking to the base..."

 

**Ibiki groaned loudly and drew Jiraiya into a fevered kiss stopping the erotic man from reducing him to trembling in need, then broke the kiss, "You are amazing."**

**Jiraiya smiled and slipped down drawing his beloved's pants down and then off.  Then looking up at him with a teasing sparkle in his eyes as he sucked just the swollen head.**

**Kakashi's ecstatic gaze was on them Ibiki could tell by his breathing he was becoming excited by them, he would try to wait a bit longer... the chance to tease his Saiai was too tempting.  It was much more difficult than he thought, his need was so strong now, and he groaned, "Mmm... Koishii... your mouth feels so good!"**

 

Jiraiya realized Ibiki was using this to very effectively tease their partner and he released the engorged flesh.  Then fondled his Koishii's balls, bringing a loud moan from him as he purred, "I love how your muscles flex... your cock straining towards the hot tight grasp of my throat.

 

Kakashi gave a soft whimper that was followed by Ibiki's needy groan, his beloved had enough teasing, he needed release.  Jiraiya began working the swollen length in his mouth and cupped his lover's hips gently encouraging him to buck into the pleasure.   After the long tease, his partner quickly reached his climax, the rapturous cry of his Koishii as his hips bucked brought Jiraiya deep happiness.  He drew back to just sucking on the head, his tongue flicking against the sensitive flesh until Ibiki gave another cry and came once more.

 

Jiraiya released him and rose to kiss him softly, then groaned in delight as Ibiki deepened their kiss encouraging his tongue to slip into his mouth and teasing it.  When he broke the kiss Jiraiya was breathless... and Kakashi was smiling happily.  

 

**Ibiki's gaze dropped to the sated length of Kakashi's cock and he saw he'd began to harden at the tease.  He wanted to try to take his Saiai in his mouth, his gaze lifted to meet lover's.  Jiraiya smiled and encouraged, "Let's go to the bedroom."**

If Ibiki knelt this would be over before his Koishii even touched their partner, the sight would undoubtedly distress his Myobu greatly.  Perhaps if Kakashi was laying... this would be a wonderful step for them both.  It would ease Kakashi's concern he wasn't helping and tighten the bonds between him and Ibiki.

**Jiraiya encouraged Kakashi to lay on the bed.  Ibiki slipped up over him and as he kissed his way down to his pelvis Kakashi gave passionate cries.  His Saiai's cock was slowly hardening and Ibiki listened to his lover's cries trying to distract himself from his growing anxiety.  As he faced taking his Saiai in his mouth he hesitated.  Even when his beloved was making cries of pleasure it was not enough and he could not do it.**

**This was not fair to his Saiai, he deserved the same level of trust as Jiraiya... he should be able to do this.  Why was he hesitating?   Why couldn't he do it?  He made himself continue but Kakashi's cries grew softer as he placed kisses on the silky skin of his lover's erection and Ibiki could feel his Saiai's tremors, they had nothing to do with sexual need.  This was why, this was why he could not try to push past his fear, he hated upsetting his beautiful beloved, the knowledge he would, added to his own anxiety and he just couldn't move past it.**

 

Jiraiya was a bit disappointed, but this difficulty was not unexpected, just as when his Koishii could not have sex with Kakashi that first time because it was distressing to both of them.  This was something they would work on, but not tonight.  Jiraiya studied his Myobu a moment, he was still anxious, and while he could bring him to climax it felt important that Ibiki did... a reminder that while this was temporarily denied them, it did not change the rapture they felt at each other's touch.  "Come shower, " Jiraiya encouraged.

 

**Kakashi quickly rose from the bed, then looked ashamed, Ibiki rose and kissed him tenderly his Saiai should not be ashamed that this distressed him, "Jiraiya's right let's shower."  Kakashi nodded and his tension seeped away.**

**Once in the shower Jiraiya began 'washing' Ibiki, his slick fingers teasing his cock and balls until he was very aroused.  Kakashi watched in fascination, his gaze full of desire and his cock engorged with need.  When Jiraiya released his erection Ibiki drew his Saiai into his arms, their throbbing flesh pressed between them**. 

 

Jiraiya smiled, he loved watching his lovers.  Ibiki rocked his hips rubbing his cock against their sensual partner's hard length.  Jiraiya couldn't resist adding to the growing lust, he slipped around to behind Kakashi and nibbled his throat as he murmured, "Don't cum Myobu..."

 

Then moved away to watch, his Myobu was trembling in excitement now.  Jiraiya gave an amused smile and circled around behind Ibiki, he leaned forward and encouraged, "Tease his throat...".

 

**As Ibiki took the suggestion and nibbled on his Saiai's throat he cried out and writhed in rapture panting between cries.  Ibiki groaned as the motion tempted him further, quickly leaving him as breathless as his lover and he lifted his head from the tease of his partner's tender neck to moan.**

 

Jiraiya once more slipped around behind Kakashi, placing kisses up to his ear he purred, "Cum my beautiful Myobu."   Then flicked his tongue in the sensitive canal, Kakashi arched howling in rapture as he came.

 

**Ibiki immediately reached his climax, both the sensation of his lover's cock jumping between them and the seductive way his Saiai arched as he came brought a strong orgasm that left him completely spent.  He just held Kakashi for a few moments as they caught their breath but his eyes lifted to Jiraiya, he looked so happy... he wanted to always see him happy from now on and would try to bring him as much pleasure as he'd caused him pain over the years.**

**Ibiki released his Saiai and Kakashi turned to embrace Jiraiya, "I love when you tease me."**

**Ibiki nodded agreement and Jiraiya laughed, "That's good because I love teasing both my precious ones."**   

 

After finishing their shower and dressing  Ibiki walked into the kitchen and the two men followed and watched him cook, it was a wonderful routine and relaxing for all three men.

 

==========================

 

**The next day after Kakashi and he went into work, Jiraiya stopped in to talk and Ibiki was able to ask why their partner was anxious.**

**"I thought we could try having a picnic by the pond, Kakashi was uncomfortable there and so I placed a Genjutsu over us... but when I did, it brought back some very unpleasant memories.  I just wanted to be at home, I decided we should leave.  I was not going to enjoy staying and Kakashi was only becoming more stressed by it."   Jiraiya explained, "As we left I was lost in my bad memories and didn't notice how greatly I was distressing him.  He thought I was drawing away, that I had decided I didn't want him anymore because I was ignoring him.  I feel terrible, I hurt him a great deal with my selfish behavior and even though I try to reassure him he's still distressed by it."**

**Ibiki nodded, he could understand how his Saiai would feel.  The fact Kakashi often did not react the same way as others did, it left him feeling alone and isolated.  The idea of one of them, his only two people who understood and accepted him, losing interest and leaving him would be terrifying.  "I will work on reassuring him that neither of us are ever going to leave."  Ibiki caressed Jiraiya's face, "Do not blame yourself so much, we all have things that haunt us at times."**

 

Jiraiya kissed Ibiki tenderly and then gave a little smile.  "I suppose I should leave and let you work."

 

Ibiki smirked and teased, "As greatly as I'd love for you to stay I definitely would not get any work done."

 

Jiraiya laughed, "Ok, I'll be going.  I will be here to walk with you after work... will Kakashi be coming home tonight or does he have a mission?"

 

**Ibiki gathered his beloved close and nuzzled him, "I would tell you if he had a mission Koishii, always, no matter what the mission was.  I would not keep it from you and cause you anxiety."  He could see the hint of uneasiness in his lover's eyes, almost losing Kakashi to the grass nin would remain a ghost haunting him but then Ibiki was familiar with those kinds of 'ghosts'.  It was surprising how alike they all were in some ways, all three of them were afraid of losing this wonderful life they'd created together, they'd all been hurt so many times it was hard to believe it could last.**

**Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "I know, I just know there's always a chance he may have a last minute mission... I was visiting with Tsunade, so I would not have been at home if he stopped in before going."**

**Ibiki nodded, "He may be a bit late, but he will be home around the same time as I am done here."**

**Jiraiya placed a last kiss on his cheek before stepping back, "Then we can all walk home together, is there anything you'd like me to get for the evening meal?"**

**Ibiki scribbled down a short list and watched his lover walk out.  His thoughts remained on what Jiraiya had said about the park, being there had brought back bad memories for him.  Ibiki decided he could take a 'long lunch', all his paperwork was done and none of the missions his men were on were ones that were dangerous, his man on patrol could easily 'find him' if anything came up.**

 

\--------------------------------

 

Jiraiya was delighted as he saw his Koishii walk in, "You are back quite a bit earlier than expected."

 

Ibiki smiled, "After seeing you I couldn't get you off my mind."  His hand stroked Jiraiya's chest.  "I'm caught up at work and thought we'd have lunch.  Maybe at the park?"

 

The park... Ibiki's thoughts had not been about sex, but about how things had gone badly when he and Kakashi were at the park.  Jiraiya smiled, "We'll pick up something to eat on the way."

 

He felt bad that he'd made his Koishii worry, he would make sure Ibiki knew he was alright.  He would make sure this would be a good lunch break for his beloved and he would not let his memories interfere.

 

\-----------------------------

 

**He held Jiraiya's hand as they walked to the park and they sat by the Koi pond, the dappled sunshine coming through the leaves of nearby trees gave the area a relaxing peaceful feel.  Ibiki was determined this would be a pleasant memory for his Koishii, he smiled as Jiraiya cast a Genjutsu over them concealing them from view.  It would have been ok if he had not and he was about to say so when his beloved looked at him with adoration and asked, "Tease me."**

**His lover's request brought a moment of surprise and then excitement, how many times had Jiraiya teased them until they urgently needed him, often with little more than kisses and light brushes of his fingers... he like the idea of trying to get that fevered response in the same way.**

 

Jiraiya saw the excitement in his lover's eyes at the subtle dominance of the idea, being in control was good for him after the uncertainty of trying to work on pushing his limits.  And much like his strong Koishii it was time to replace the bad memories associated with this place with good.

 

Jiraiya groaned softly as his beloved drew him close and traced his lips with his tongue, then gave a surprised gasp at his lover's finger slipped into his shirt and circled his nipple making him arch into the sensation eagerly.   Ibiki kissed him passionately and Jiraiya felt the silky feather of his lover's fingers over his rapidly swelling cock, the tempting brush had his erection straining eagerly toward the stimulation and Ibiki broke the kiss to lightly kiss his throat and murmur, "So sexy... feeling your body press into my touch, picturing how you'll arch as my cock sinks into your eager body... crying out at the ecstasy of every slow rock of my hips as I fuck you..."

 

Jiraiya groaned, "You are so seductive!"

 

**Although Ibiki was the one teasing his lover, his Koishii's soft moans of pleasure and desire were a great tease for him and his cock now throbbed eager for his partner's touch.  Ibiki took Jiraiya's hand and brushed his lover's fingers over his arousal.**

**Jiraiya gave a loud groan, "That's cheating, now I want you so much I can't wait to feel you inside me!"**

**Ibiki laughed, "I think it would be best if we go home first... no matter how good your Genjutsu is!"**

 

Jiraiya smiled, "Yes, that would be best."  It wasn't the fact his beloved had brought his hand to touch his erection that left him nearly trembling in excitement as much as the fact he'd relaxed and done so even when in public... yes there was a Genjutsu around them but it still was a large step for him.

 

Jiraiya released the jutsu and they quickly made the signs to transport, when they arrived in the living room they embraced kissing passionately.  He  was excited as he felt his Ibiki cup his head deepening their kiss, his lips parting to allow Jiraiya's tongue in to tease his.  Although Kakashi wasn't there and they could push at his Koishii's boundaries without distressing their partner, Jiraiya only wanted to hear the fevered cries of his lover as they had sex. 

 

**"My amazing Koishii." Ibiki groaned as he felt the cooler room air on his skin, his skilled lover had been stripping him as they kissed.  Jiraiya's mouth left his, kissing his way down and bringing ecstatic moans from him as his talented mouth teased the tender flesh down to his bare chest, tracing the scars with his tongue.  Ibiki's cock throbbed at the intense hunger his Koishii's actions was causing to rise up in him, he wanted so much... to freely taste his lover's skin and lick his balls, to do all the things denied to him by his past without fear or anxiety.**

**Jiraiya led him over to the couch and when Ibiki sat he straddled his lap.  Then very slowly lowered down on his cock to the base.  The tease had both of them breathless and when his beloved started fucking himself on the swollen length, Ibiki wrapped his hand around his lover's cock stroking him as he watched his Koishii's face.  The sounds Jiraiya made, the cries of passion and desire in his eyes were nearly as arousing as the caress of his body stroking his erection.**

**Jiraiya arched back slightly and gave rapturous cries as he reached his climax, the ecstasy of his lover's cries as his muscles drew on his cock swiftly brought Ibiki's orgasm and he groaned, "You feel wonderful Koishii!"**

**As their bodies calmed Ibiki studied his beloved's face, both Jiraiya and Kakashi felt strong pleasure from being fucked, but he could not imagine how it could be pleasurable.  The Rain nin's cocks slamming into his body had brought no pleasure... it was not even a concept he even could have grasped as possible, no their actions only brought excruciating pain.  "What does it feel like for you... what is it about being fucked that makes you want it?"**

**Jiraiya nibbled his lip softly and Ibiki was stunned, his lover had never done anything like that before.  Although he'd felt his teeth it had been gentle, no pain, and exciting.**

**Jiraiya kissed him then drew back and answered, "What we do and they did are not the same... would it have excited you if I'd roughly bit your lip?"**

**Ibiki saw the point, the soft nibble, wishing to excite and give pleasure was not like what they'd done.  They had not wanted to give him pleasure, only pain... It was possible to do the same thing but in a way that brought them both pleasure.  Ibiki drew him into another kiss and kneaded the firm cheeks of his ass.  Bringing a  groan from him that was echoed by a delighted groan from Kakashi as he walked in and saw them.**

 

_"I am lucky, have two sexy lovers."  Kakashi stroked Jiraiya's back then, quietly asked.  "I want you."  Would Jiraiya deny him?  He and Ibiki had just had sex..._

_Jiraiya rose off Ibiki's cock and Kakashi's gaze remained on Ibiki's semi erect flesh slipping out of their lover's ass... he wanted to touch it to stroke the length and feel it harden further... he needed both of them, he never wanted either to walk away_.

 

Jiraiya smiled at Kakashi, kissed him tenderly and said, "I think the bedroom maybe a better place for us all."

 

Once in the bedroom Ibiki surprised Jiraiya by turning to fondle his balls and tease his sated flesh with light brushes of his finger while Kakashi stripped.  When their lover was bare Ibiki  lay Kakashi on the bed and parted his legs to kneel between.  Jiraiya was nearly as delighted as Kakashi, the chance to tease him at the park had been good for his Koishii, he had a relaxed pleasure on his face that had not been present very often in the last few days.

 

_Kakashi was so excited by Ibiki's wishing to prepare him that he shivered and mewed in delight.  Ibiki dampened his finger and circled the sensitive rim of his entrance, teasing him with his finger and his words.  "So sexy... I love the way you writhe and cry out as you are fucked..." and by the time he gently pressed his finger in Kakashi was so aroused he arched and gave an ecstatic cry_. 

 

**Ibiki watched his face as he teased him further, the love in his lover's eyes was riveting.  "The hot tight grasp of your body is so tempting my seductive Saiai..."  He stroked his finger slowly in his beloved, then slipped it out and teased his body with two.  His partner was getting very good at relaxing his muscles and it took less time than Ibiki had expected to have his lover so needy that when he pushed a third in Kakashi slowly rocked into them.  Ibiki drew his fingers out and shifted up to kiss him.**

 

Jiraiya had watched Ibiki and placed kisses over Kakashi's chest, occasionally flicking a taut nipple with his tongue.   His Koishii had taken a very active role, teasing him and preparing Kakashi... it felt good not to see hesitation in his actions.  When Ibiki slipped his fingers out Jiraiya drew his Myobu up to on top of him and felt him straddle his body, pressing down slowly onto his arousal giving a soft gasp then moan as the wide head of his cock slid through the ring of muscles and into his body. 

 

**Ibiki stroked his Saiai's back and watched Jiraiya's cock slipping into the tight hold of their lover.  Somehow this was all different than the way the Rain nin had fucked him... a nip not a bite.  It felt good to his partners and yet picturing the rigid length of Jiraiya's cock pushing into his own body brought a surge of distress.  Instead of drawing his hand away he continued touching his beloved and dropped it down further to stroking over the rounded cheeks of his Saiai's ass... Kakashi liked feeling this, the way his lover's muscles flexed as they had sex...**

 

_Kakashi felt the soft caresses of Ibiki's hand, he gave fevered moans and resisted cumming.  It felt so good, he didn't want it to end!  Jiraiya's big cock moving slowly in him and the light stroke of Ibiki's hand brought a feeling deeper than just sexual pleasure.  Being touched by them both made him feel... secure, wanted... loved.  And that was why he did not want it to end, but when Ibiki's finger traced around his filled entrance the tease was too great and he wailed in rapture, his body trying to clench down around the unyielding length filling him._

 

Jiraiya groaned softly, he could not buck into him to cum he'd hurt him, but Kakashi sat up slipping his up to his knees and begged, "Cum!  I need to feel you!"

 

He couldn't resist and his amazing Myobu had solved the problem of him hurting him, Jiraiya held off a few minutes more cupping his lover's hips and tilting them, then giving urgent thrusts as he came, hearing his beloved's howls of ecstasy and feeling the draw of his muscles as his cock hit his pleasure spot. 

 

Now sated, he let his slender partner drop down to the base and Kakashi placed soft kisses on his chest.  His Myobu's head suddenly lifted, his eyes surprised then questioning.  Jiraiya had a good idea what had surprised him, by the sensation of his Koishii's finger now brushing around their lover's rim and his cock, and his gaze was reassuring.  This was a good step for Ibiki.

 

**Ibiki had watched the ecstasy on his lover's face as he came, Kakashi had gotten strong pleasure from this, not pain.  When his Saiai lay back on Jiraiya, Ibiki's finger traced the stretched entrance lightly... he tried to believe that if it was in him he'd feel pleasure too... but he couldn't.  His finger dropped away and he lay down beside his partners**.

 

Jiraiya slowly lifted his Myobu from his cock then saw the surprised pleasure on Ibiki's face as Kakashi slipped over to laying on top of him.  He watching his Koishii lovingly caress him, neither man seemed interested in sex, just enjoying the feel of the other. 

 

**Ibiki smiled at his lovers and teased, "My long lunch has stretched out a bit further than I'd originally planned after being distracted by my sexy partners."   Jiraiya laughed and his Saiai kissed him tenderly.**

 

**Ibiki knew there was really nothing at work that he couldn't catch up on tomorrow.  "I think I'll make us an early meal."  Jiraiya and Kakashi nodded, they rose from the bed and they all went in to shower**.

 

======================================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 29**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 29: CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART (BRING ME THE HORIZON)


	30. DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 30)

**DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 30)**

=============================

 

In spite of their reassurances Kakashi remained very anxious after the misunderstanding at the Koi pond. Whenever he wasn't on a mission he'd follow Jiraiya every time he left the house, often he would remain concealed from others but Jiraiya could feel him.  He didn't mind, he wished his lover felt comfortable walking beside him but he understood it was less stressful for his Myobu this way.

 

Jiraiya's novel was now ready and he needed to go visit his publisher in a nearby town, Machihazure, it really wasn't much of a town more like a small group of buildings but his publisher liked it enough to live there. 

 

After he packed a few things in preparation to leave, he dropped by Ibiki's office.  His partner smiled and walked over to hold him tenderly in his arms,  "Kakashi will be back from his standard duty mission soon." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I will still be here." 

 

Ibiki kissed him and said exactly what they'd both been thinking, "You have to take him with you."

 

"Yes."  Jiraiya agreed, he knew Kakashi would be distressed the whole time he was gone.

 

**Ibiki stroked his lover's cheek, "I am assigning him to escort you, an important member of the Leaf village and guard you throughout your stay in Machihazure."**

**Jiraiya gave a soft smile, they both knew he did not need any 'escort or guard'  he was one of the three great Sannin and he was going to a small town, but it would be accepted as an official mission and give Kakashi the excuse to be gone several days.**

**Kakashi walked into the office a bit faster than normal and Ibiki could see his tension ease when he saw Jiraiya was there.**

**Jiraiya walked over and enclosed him in his arms, "I would not leave without seeing you."**

**Kakashi's eyes filled with anxiety at the word leave and Ibiki turned and picked up a slip of paper, "You are being assigned escort duty.  You will escort Jiraiya to Machihazure and remain with him as his guard.**

**Kakashi drew back from Jiraiya and walked over to snuggle against Ibiki, his eyes full of gratitude... and guilt.**

 

_He shouldn't do this, how could he leave Ibiki behind for even a few days... leave to follow Jiraiya... it was terrible and selfish of him._

_Ibiki cupped his face, "Saiai I want you to go, I want to be sure Jiraiya is ok... that nothing bad happens."  'Bad' could encompass many things, not just attacks or physical danger... but they were all aware it was an excuse.   Ibiki had seen his anxiety at Jiraiya leaving the Leaf Village for even a few days... it had taken the incident at the park to show him how devastating it would be to lose him._

_Ibiki smiled tenderly and held up the paper, "Look Lady Tsunade's signature is on it, she wants you to go and make sure he's safe too._ "

 

Jiraiya felt a strong gratitude towards his friend, her signature was not necessary for any low level mission but she was giving him support to reassure his beloved.   He would her back some little trinket, he always brought her something special, she often teased him about his 'bad taste' but the items he bought her were always lovingly displayed... no matter how ugly they were.

 

_Kakashi wasn't fooled, but it helped slightly and he wasn't sure he could have resisted anyway.  He'd have completed every mission he was gave as quickly as he could so he could go check on Jiraiya before returning to the village... it would have been very taxing but he knew he would've done it.  Perhaps that's what he should do.  Kakashi was about to shake his head but Ibiki kissed him and urged, "Go, it's your mission."_

_Jiraiya massaged his back softly, "Come with me Myobu."_

_Hesitantly he nodded, he felt tremendous guilt leaving Ibiki's side to go with Jiraiya... but what if Jiraiya didn't come back, neither he or Ibiki could bear that.  He had to go._

 

=====================================

 

Jiraiya had just dropped off finished novel to his publisher, he could feel Kakashi following from cover and watching him.  It wasn't that he was attempting to hide, just that his beloved preferred not to interact with others if possible.

 

Jiraiya walked through the small shop section of three grocery stores, and a handful of other stores.  He'd had not found anything for Tsunade and as he walked by the hot springs it came to him, he'd buy her a kokeshi doll they often sold them as souvenirs' at the hot springs in the villages around the Land of Fire. 

 

Immediately he found the right one a 5" doll with delicate little flowers on her kimono... Tsunade would pretend to hate it but he knew she'd love it.  As he left the hot springs with the souvenir, he had an unexpected and very unpleasant surprise.

 

"Jiraiya."

 

The familiar voice made him cringe.  Jiraiya looked back, frowned, then reluctantly turned to face his former companion, "Samoshii."

 

"I haven't seen you in a bit, have you missed me?  I know your body has..." His former lover smirked and teased, "Just think of all the wonderful things we could do together... let's go into the hot springs I'd love to see your sexy body... your cock eager for my touch..."

 

To anyone who didn't know Samoshii he'd have been a temptation, he was built nearly as solidly as Jiraiya and nearly matched him in height, they'd been a very striking 'couple', his ebony black hair and creamy complexion accented by Jiraiya's tan skin and snow white hair.  Samoshii was very handsome but it was all on the surface, he was so very ugly behind the attractive shell, cruel and manipulative. 

 

"I'm in a relationship, Samoshii."  Jiraiya stated bluntly, his companion had nothing to offer that he would ever want.  Samoshii didn't care for him, he never did, every word from his lips was a lie.  His former companion had taken great joy in letting everyone know his lover was the 'famous' writer of the Icha Icha novels... he'd been a status symbol for Samoshii, a prized trophy and an accent to draw attention to him.  He could not stand knowing others were getting what he felt was his... and in his eyes Jiraiya was no more than a possession and this wasn't the first time he'd shown up to 'reclaim his toy'.

 

"I can give you pleasures greater than any of your lovers... Remember?  I was the only person who was ever able to deep throat you."  He licked his lip, "I always loved doing it and hearing your cries... my mouth covering the hot flesh of your cock... my throat enclosing you, bringing you ecstasy greater than any other lover.   Can your new lovers give you that pleasure?  I doubt it.  Come let's spend some time together..."

 

As Jiraiya's cock hardened his eyes hardened as well, "You always come slithering out from under a rock  like a snake as soon as you hear I'm happy."  That Samoshii knew about his lovers did not surprise him, the calculating man was always 'well informed' prior to appearing to torment him.

 

Samoshii was not bothered in the least, his little smile slightly mocking, "I take it they can't, too bad... never to feel that ecstasy...  but you know **_I_** can give you everything you need.  That my touch is the only one that you truly desire... "

 

Jiraiya shook his head in disgust, he had truly had very poor taste in Companions and Angels, and Samoshii he regretted most of all.  "They give me more pleasure than you ever gave me or ever could." 

 

As Jiraiya walked away Samoshii's gaze was confident, "You will always want it, you know where I am.  Come to me and I'll give you what you want, everything you desire... the ecstasy no other can."

 

Jiraiya didn't even look back he just kept walking, his anger now turning to concern, Kakashi was with him.  His precious Myobu would have heard Samoshii's words.  Jiraiya paused and looked back the way he came, it ate at him that if he returned Samoshii would think he was right.  He wasn't, he would never want [u]anything[/u] from him but at this moment his former companion was in extreme danger and he couldn't ignore that even if he wished to.  The self centered man came from a very influential family, if he was to suddenly disappear it would not be something that would be simply dismissed.

 

As Jiraiya approached the area he just left he noticed Samoshii was nowhere in sight, Kakashi stood with his back to him.  He knew his beloved was aware he was there and yet Jiraiya approached him cautiously out of concern he'd further distress him, "Myobu..." 

 

Kakashi looked back his Sharingan eye was uncovered, the fiery red illustrating his anger.  It was possible he'd already killed Samoshii, but unlikely.  Even as skilled as his lover was, it would have taken longer than he'd been gone to dispose of the body.  "Where is Samoshii?" 

 

Kakashi looked away, "Gone." 

 

Jiraiya walked over and embraced his beloved.  Even if he'd doubted, he'd have known his Myobu hadn't killed him simply by the tone of his voice, and he also knew Samoshii had said something that had hurt his partner.

 

Damn man should be a con man, never was there a more slick talker than he.  Samoshii could convince anyone to believe anything... "Myobu, my gorgeous beloved, what did the foul snake say?"

 

"I'll never be as good as he is..." Kakashi answered softly.

 

In just the few moments he'd been gone his former companion had shook his Myobu's confidence and left him even more insecure.

 

"Is he really the only one who could do everything for you?  He said you could fuck him and not hold back... that he's the only one who had ever brought you the pleasure of really getting oral sex... take you in his mouth to the base... is that true?" Kakashi showed how shaken he was by leaning into him seeking comfort .

 

Jiraiya tried to tease but it fell short, he didn't want to say yes, but... "Of course he can he's a snake..."

 

Kakashi nodded and lay his head on his chest, "He said that you were free with him, that you miss it even if you will not say so..."  his worried gaze rose to meet Jiraiya's.  "He could do anything for you."

 

Jiraiya cradled Kakashi in his arms, "No, he cannot do all the things you do for me... the really important things... like love me.  His smile doesn't make my heart race like yours, his touch is cold and empty... yours brings me joy.  Every look of love from you is better than anything he could ever do."

 

Kakashi slipped his hand into Jiraiya's shirt laying his hand against his chest, "He said, you will go back to him, that you'd left lovers for him many times."

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "No.  He'd drove away several of my Angels by doing just what he did to you, trying to make you feel like you are not good enough... but you are more than good enough, you are better than he could ever be."

 

Samoshii had manipulated him so many times before he saw what his former companion was doing, driving away Jiraiya's current Angel or Companion and claiming they had 'grown bored of him.'.. and he'd fell for it, he'd actually been grateful for the reprehensible man's support when his heart was broken, believed the lies that he cared about him.  Then Samoshii would remain a few days or weeks ensuring the other lover did not return before walking out on him.

 

Jiraiya cuddled his beloved close his arms firmly around Kakashi, it was a gesture that helped calm him, it gave him security.  "All the lover's in my past were Angels, empty shallow relationships with people who would fly away without thought for me.  Or Companions, cold manipulators, self centered... shallow beings that only love themselves and view everyone around as pawns to be used and cast aside... like Samoshii.  Nothing he ever did was to bring me happiness only to manipulate me to get what he wanted."  Jiraiya softly nuzzled him and crooned, "Let's go back to the Inn.  I want to hold you and touch you, the man I want, the one I love."

 

Kakashi's eyes filled with love and he nodded.  Jiraiya made the hand signs to return to the inn room, he was very familiar with this room... it was one of many he'd lived in every time his heart was broken.  He should have told the inn keep he didn't want his 'usual room', but it came in handy that it was very easy to transport to since he knew every square inch of it... tomorrow he'd ask for a different room.

 

_Kakashi saw the sadness in Jiraiya's eyes for a moment, was he thinking about his other lover... thinking of everything he'd given up when he'd choose to stay with him and Ibiki?  Then his beloved smiled and kissed him and his doubts eased, Jiraiya loved them, he wanted to stay with them and promised he'd never leave_. 

 

Jiraiya caressed his beloved, stripping away his clothes as he kissed his lower neck and shoulders, if he kissed his gorgeous lover's throat they'd probably stay up all night having sex... which did not sound like an entirely bad thing.

 

He could feel his partner's soft hands stripping his clothes as best as he could and drew back enough to bare himself completely, groaning in pleasure as his extraordinary partner molded his body tightly against him.  The desire to hear his Myobu's cries was a temptation he had no intention of resisting. 

 

_Kakashi felt his lover's hands cup and knead his ass and mewed in pleasure at his touch then the pure ecstasy of his partner's mouth on his throat brought such strong desire that the only thing he could think about was feeling his body beneath his lover as he fucked him... but Jiraiya couldn't do that, he wouldn't even if he prepared him well._

_Kakashi whimpered both in need and also at the knowledge Samoshii was right... Jiraiya was unable to do so many things with him.._.

 

Jiraiya traced the shell of his beloved's ear and felt him buck against him as he gave breathless cries of passion, which became keens of pleasure as Jiraiya's tongue flicked over the sensitive canal.  The gentle thrust  of his tongue into the small opening brought a wail and a firm buck as his sexy lover came.  Jiraiya remained close, his warm breath teasing the damp shell as he purred, "I've never had a more seductive lover... I love hearing your cries and feeling your wonderful cock thrusting against me."

 

_Kakashi gave a soft excited whimper, his body struggling to become erect so quickly after cumming.  Jiraiya's hand enclosed the flaccid length skillfully teasing him until his cock ached with need again and he pleaded.  "Please I want you in me!"_

 

Jiraiya nodded slipping up to seated he grabbed the lube dampening his fingers as his sensual Kitsune straddled his lap.  Jiraiya circled his beloved's tight entrance with a slick finger listening to the ecstatic moans of his lover.  "So sexy!"

 

_Kakashi knew Jiraiya was very aroused, he could feel his partner's engorged length beneath him, his strong need was further reflected in Jiraiya's husky tone, but he only added another finger then carefully thrust them into his body.  "Please Jiraiya!"  Kakashi begged_.

 

Jiraiya nodded, slipped his fingers out and cupped his amazing partners hips.  Positioning him and allowing him to gradually drop down to take his cock into the hot grasp of his lover's ass to the base.  He watched Kakashi's eyes, but saw no pain only excitement.

 

The slow drop of his body, the tight hold enclosing the aching length, Jiraiya groaned at feel of him.  It was so very tempting and he knew it would only become a greater tease as he wrapped his hand around his lover's erection and lightly stroked.  Very quickly his enthralling Myobu was writhing on him giving urgent moans, his strokes became faster and firmer exciting him to louder cries of rapture

 

Jiraiya tried to ignore the hard throb of his cock as his lover neared his climax, then Kakashi panted, "I want to feel you cum!"

 

 Jiraiya gave a loud groan, "So very sexy... beautiful Myobu."  and released his rigid length allowing his lover to rise to his knees and embrace him.  Jiraiya thrust firmly as he came, Kakashi started to press down into the 'softer' buck of his cock and Jiraiya quickly caught his hips.  He lifted him off his lap laying him down on the bed and taking his precious lover's cock in his mouth, dropping to the base and tightening his throat muscles around the tender flesh.  Kakashi gave a rapturous cry his cock jumping again.  When Jiraiya released him he lay exhausted, his need sated to the point he could not be aroused again.

 

That had been alarming, his Myobu attempting to take his cock fully inside as he came, it had to be because of Samoshii's words.   Kakashi was definitely feeling threatened, it was possible his beloved may choose to kill him... that was a problem and he'd need to address it.   Jiraiya kissed his way up to his partner's soft lips and kissed him passionately.  Then lay on the bed and drew his lover up to lay on top of him.  Kissing his flushed cheeks.

 

After a few moments of cuddling and Jiraiya kissing his face tenderly he asked, "Please promise me you won't kill Samoshii.  He's very important..." That did not come out right and Jiraiya corrected. "From an influential family."

 

_Kakashi nodded, for his beloved he would not do it.  After a few more minutes of bliss, the two men rose and showered.  When they returned to the bed to sleep.  Kakashi lay snuggled against his beloved but sleep wouldn't come as he wondered what Jiraiya would have done when he saw his old lover if he hadn't came along.  Would he have met with him, gone places beside him... places he couldn't enjoy with Ibiki and him, like the hot springs... he had to believe Jiraiya would not have given in to having sex, but would he have **wished** to touch him... or be touched by him?_

_Samoshii's words haunted him, 'he was free with me... free to do anything he liked and I gave him pleasure like no other ever could.'  Jiraiya hadn't even been able to cum deep inside him and had stopped him when he tried to press into his buck... he always had to be so careful with him and his partner's words brought doubt once more, 'He's very important'.  Jiraiya hadn't meant it like that... no, he'd said he was from an 'influential family'... but the words only added to his lingering anxiety_.

 

"I love you so much my precious one."  Jiraiya cradled him tenderly, he could not come up with a way to soothe his beloved's concerns and he cursed the fact his vile ex-lover had found him... he had no doubt Samoshii had known he was coming to drop off his novel.  Jiraiya continued holding his gorgeous lover and stroking him softly until he was asleep, but it was now the early hours just before sunrise, Kakashi would not sleep once the sun rose.  Jiraiya sighed, he couldn't wait to go home.

 

\---------------------- 

 

_While Jiraiya was inside talking with his publisher Kakashi waited outside, a decision he regretted as Samoshii saw him and approached.  "Still here... so foolish.  It's only a matter of time... what can you possibly offer him?  Love?  Love comes and goes, Jiraiya's been in love with countless people over the years, you are no different, he'll get bored or realize how limited he is with you and walk away.  You should just leave now, you know there's no way he'll be willing to walk away from all I offer him... and do you really want to wait and hope for him to still want you after he tastes what it's like to be free again?"  Samoshii mocked, his eyes full of scorn.  "He will come back to me... he always does."_

_Kakashi watched him walk away, he'd wanted to protest, say that his beloved wouldn't desire the things Samoshii offered... but he wasn't certain.  It was possible he did miss those things, long for that freedom... all he knew was he couldn't lose Jiraiya.  If he decided to go he wouldn't be able to stop him no matter how hard he tried, he'd do anything not to lose him... but Jiraiya asked him not to kill Samoshii because he was 'important', so the easy solution was not an option_.

 

\--------------------------

 

As they walked back to the inn Jiraiya noticed Kakashi was staying right beside him, but he didn't get the impression he was being guarded, it was more like being clung to... the flash of uneasiness in his Myobu's eyes when he saw Samoshii  gave him all the answers he needed.  His sweet beloved was afraid of losing him... the foul man had spouted more of his lies into his ear. 

 

Jiraiya wanted very much to enclose Kakashi in his arms and kiss him but they were in the center of the little town, it would be distressing for his lover.  After seeing him shift a bit closer Jiraiya decided even if it did cause him distress it would not be as great as if they were in the Leaf where everyone knew them and his Myobu needed it very much.

 

_Kakashi was surprised as Jiraiya stopped, took his hand and drew him into his arms, he knew he should feel uncomfortable everyone was watching them and yet he wanted it so much that he melted into his touch_.

 

Jiraiya stroked his back gently, his wonderful Myobu looked up then lay his head against his chest a moment.  Jiraiya quickly made the hand signs and they appeared in their room at the inn.  Whatever Samoshii had said had upset his beloved much more than he'd thought.  Kakashi drew down his mask placing kisses over his neck, then up to meet his lips. 

 

"I need to feel you... please."  Kakashi softly begged, Jiraiya stripped his beloved then himself, tenderly kissed him and then drew him over to the bed to lay in his arms.  Kakashi stroked over his chest and stomach lightly. Then looked up but his eyes held sorrow not desire and he quietly asked.  "I need to feel you in me."

 

The look in his beloved's eyes was like he thought he'd be denied, Jiraiya nodded.  He wanted to tell his beautiful partner to let him know if he was hurting him, but it felt like the wrong thing to say.  It would be like confirming Samoshii's taunt that Kakashi could never be as good.  He could not say that like his Myobu had to be treated differently, like he needed to be cautious with him... this time he would have to accept that it would make his lover sore and that it was the right thing to do.

 

_Jiraiya rolled  to place him on the bed, reached over and took the lube, Kakashi expected him to carefully prepare him... he had no freedom with him... but to his surprise his beloved stroked a heavy coat on his cock, covered him and pressed firmly into him, although not rapidly, his swollen length sank steadily into him filling his body._

_Although it was a very 'uncomfortable' Kakashi welcomed it, the feel of his partner reacting without hesitation... free, not being cautious to make sure he didn't cause him any pain and covering him like he'd longed for so many times.  His exceptional lover passionately kissed his throat up to his lips and kissed him lovingly as his erection came to rest completely within him.  When Jiraiya broke the kiss he looked in his eyes.  Kakashi nodded, he wanted this._

_Jiraiya shifted his hips drawing back then pushing deep until Kakashi's body accepted longer strokes.  It was a bit painful, but he wanted this so much, to not feel any hesitation in his lover's actions.  Kakashi clung to his beloved grateful for the mild spasms of pain, for the feel of his lover moving within him without reservation._

_Jiraiya was careful but Kakashi was certain that even with Samoshii he was, it was the way his beloved was.  At the thought of Jiraiya's skilled lover, Kakashi pressed into his beloved's thrusts wanting to know that he was giving Jiraiya the same pleasure he could get from him._

 

Jiraiya could feel the way his smaller lover was braced into his strokes and knew he'd be very sore but did not stop only began teasing his throat bringing hopefully equally strong surges of pleasure to help with the pain.  He groaned softly, "Ah Myobu you feel so wonderful, I love feeling you."

 

_It was a chaotic blend of waves of strong pleasure and sharp spikes of pain, the pain was not pleasant and took away from the pleasure but he still wanted this, he could accept pain._

 

Jiraiya knew he'd cause a strong spear of pain when he climaxed, it would not be help by the way he was going to lift his lover's ass slightly, it would allow him a bit deeper making it a bit more painful but most importantly it would allow him to tilt his partner's hips so his painful buck would brush against his Myobu's pleasure spot.

 

His seductive beloved was quivering and mewing as Jiraiya's tongue reached his ear teasing it and when he lifted his hips slightly and bucked, Kakashi howled in rapture and came.  But then clung and pressed into Jiraiya's lighter buck and softly begged, "deep."  He groaned as his Myobu's strong legs linked around his waist drawing him deeper, the rapturous grasp, drew and rippled.  It was a very strong temptation, but he'd never have gave in if wasn't necessary, Jiraiya thrust in deep even knowing he hurt his cherished one and he remained buried as his cock jumped in the swollen grasp.

 

_Kakashi sighed, although he hurt much worse than he'd ever hurt before, he was blissful.  Jiraiya fucked him, his lover's cum was deep inside him..._

_Jiraiya was raining soft kisses over his face, his beloved didn't need Samoshii, he could give him the same pleasure, and even if he could not take his lover in his throat yet he was determined he would someday._

_They both knew it would be painful when Jiraiya withdrew but the pain wasn't what concerned Kakashi, would his gentle partner feel guilt that he was sore?_

 

Jiraiya kissed him deeply as he slid back until only the head of his cock remained, then broke the kiss nuzzled his ear and murmured, "I love you."  as he shifted his sated length out of the tight hold.  His beloved Myobu flinched but gave no cry.  "Let's go shower."  Waiting would only allow his muscles to knot and his pain to grow. 

 

_Kakashi nodded, rising from the bed hurt, but not so greatly that he regret anything they'd done, Jiraiya had done this for him and he was grateful that he did not look upset._

 

Jiraiya didn't ask if he was sore, he knew he was but there was no regret in his beloved's wonderful eyes, and at the peace on them he felt no regret either.  No he didn't get pleasure from this 'freedom'  like he felt at seeing the pure rapture on his lover's face but it had been the right thing to do.

 

They walked into the shower, as Jiraiya massaged his sore muscles he explained, "I am not gentle with you because I have to, my beautiful Kitsune, I am gentle with you because I enjoy to be.  You are everything I could ever desire in a lover.  I enjoy every touch of you... feeling your body grasp my fingers as they thrust into you...

 

Kakashi shivered and mewed as Jiraiya nuzzled his throat and purred, "Every cry of pleasure I get from you is so seductive, every tremble of your body so sexy." 

 

_Jiraiya's soft croon was very exciting but Kakashi's body was as sated as it could be and becoming aroused was just not possible.  Which was a good thing given how sore he was and how much more sore he knew he'd become later, it always got worse before starting to fade._

_"My amazing Myobu, I love you... always and forever."  Jiraiya vowed, his loving caresses were so wonderful._

 

Kakashi looked up at him, then cuddled into him and sighed happily.

 

Jiraiya gently washed him and carefully dried him then they returned to the main room where Jiraiya lay down cradling his lover against him, nuzzling him softly and kissing his neck and chest. 

 

_Kakashi pressed into his warm side, feeling his arm come to wrap tenderly around him.   The warm water of the shower had helped take away some of the pain, and the man he loved's touch took away a great deal more.  His lover was so amazing, he was very lucky to have him._

  

Jiraiya felt deep happiness holding his cherished partner, nothing but his lovers brought him this bliss and he would never leave either of them.  They would rest a bit, then he would order food and they'd eat.  They could stay another night but after the troubles he'd had with Samoshii he just wanted to leave, but it was not fair to ask that of Kakashi...

 

His beloved had wanted to be **_hurt_** because of what Samoshii  had said!  Jiraiya gave into the outrage, he'd had enough of the reprehensible man, after they ate he would go have a talk with him.  After that they would stay the night and leave in the morning... although if anything his lover would hurt more tomorrow not less.  Sadly, he knew this very well from years of experience.

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

After they ate Jiraiya announced, "I am going to meet with my publisher one more time before we leave."  In truth he really did not need to but it would not be unusual and it would give him a place to walk toward.  He had no doubt Samoshii would show up providing an opportunity to have a last talk with him, he would not let him hurt his Myobu anymore.

 

_Jiraiya didn't tell him to stay or rest, he was leaving it up to him if he wished to come, follow, or remain here just like before... he did not assume that because he was sore he'd remain... he loved his partner so much.  He protected and soothed but never treated him like he thought of him as weak._

_Kakashi nodded, Jiraiya kissed him and walked out.  Kakashi followed, with how strong he hurt walking beside him right now was not a good idea.  He didn't want to see his lover's gaze become distressed, so he'd stick to the trees and follow him... it brought stronger pain but it was worth it not to cause his beloved distress_.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya saw Samoshii right before he saw him and for the first time since his former companion made an unwelcome appearance, Jiraiya approached him.  "Stay away from me and stay away from my lovers. "

 

"That one you brought with you?"  Samoshii waved his hand dismissively and replied disdainfully, "That one is freakish... heard the other one is worse.  If you're that desperate get a dog, don't settle for people that are lower than one."

 

Jiraiya's eyes blazed, "You have no idea how close you are to dying..."

 

_Kakashi wanted to look away, Jiraiya was warning him that one of the 'freaks' was going to kill him... if hadn't promised Jiraiya he wouldn't kill him, the man would be dead already, perhaps he was a freak.  _

_"One more word to him or about him and I'll make sure you won't live long enough to eat your next meal."  Jiraiya's voice had not rose but the tone sent an icy chill racing down Kakashi's back._

_Samoshii looked surprised and uneasy, "Are you threatening me?!"_

_Kakashi had never seen his lover so angry, even when Zonzai had touched him... he was serious.  The ruthless tone of Jiraiya's reply made his tone before seem almost friendly._

_"It's not a threat, it's a guarantee.  Don't test me."  Jiraiya turned and walked away, Samoshii gave him a nervous look and wisely decided to leave without a further word.  Kakashi watched the man a moment then followed his beloved._

 

As Jiraiya walked his anger was swept away by concern, he knew Kakashi had followed him, he should not have confronted Samoshii in front of him.  "Myobu, I'm sorry."

 

Kakashi leapt down from a tree and snuggled against him, Jiraiya was grateful this situation had happened on the outskirts of town where his precious Myobu wouldn't be as distressed about expressing emotion.  Just like last time he'd lost his temper around Kakashi he looked confused, expressing strong emotion verbally was not something he could do and it surprised and made him uneasy that Jiraiya and others could and did. 

 

_"You were angry."  It was surreal seeing his calm, understanding lover express hostility.  Like the world had 'changed' when he wasn't looking._

_Jiraiya nodded, his fingers gently massaging and loosening Kakashi's sore tensed muscles.  "I am done here, we should go home now."_

_Kakashi nodded, but his beloved didn't release him and Kakashi made no attempt to draw back so they remained embraced for a few moments longer.  When Jiraiya released him and he stepped back, the tension he'd felt since the first day in the small village had melted away._

_Everything was ok now, they were going back to Ibiki... going home where he could relax his guard a bit.  Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya, there was no sign of the powerful anger he'd felt._

_They returned to the inn pack and left, the further they got from the town the more it felt like a dark cloud had lifted._

 

============

 

**As his lover's walked in Ibiki could see his Saiai was very sore... and watching the way he moved it was not hard to guess what was wrong.  It didn't make sense, Jiraiya didn't like causing them pain and he'd obviously caused a great deal since his Saiai was extremely good at hiding being in pain... he just had to wait, his partners would explain**.

 

Jiraiya was a bit uneasy, it would be obvious to Ibiki that their lover was sore... very sore, traveling had not 'improved' anything.  As he greeted them Ibiki's gaze rested on Kakashi a bit longer than Jiraiya, then he greeted them both with passionate kisses, "I missed you both."

 

Kakashi smiled happily, "We missed you."

 

Jiraiya was surprised and grateful, Ibiki had just accepted it, trusted him and knew that there was a good reason.  It felt good to feel trusted, the fear his partner would become angry was a large weight lifted from his shoulders.

 

_Kakashi cuddled against Ibiki, he hadn't thought how it would look to their partner, once again he'd put Jiraiya in a position that could have caused their lover to distrust him.  He'd just wanted it so much... but Ibiki had trusted them, when he could, he'd explain.  He could have seriously upset Ibiki... he was grateful he hadn't_.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya was not going to take a chance that his former companion would decide to test him, he did not wish to kill him but he would not let him hurt either of his lovers.  Thankfully now that they were back in the Leaf village there was an easy way to prevent it to coming to the point where he would need to do something so drastic. 

 

Tsunade would ban him from the village and make it well known to his family that he was unwelcome in the Leaf, as well as inform the gate guards that he should not be let in.  It was unlikely that either precaution was necessary but it was best not to take any chance. 

 

So, although he'd just gotten home, Jiraiya playfully explained, "I need to drop in and see Lady Tsunade, I bought her a trinket and I wouldn't want to break her heart by not coming to see her."  His lovers nodded accepting he wanted to talk with his friend and Jiraiya left.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

_As Jiraiya walked out Kakashi hugged Ibiki and gave a muted involuntary hiss as his muscles spasmed.  His Ibiki tenderly stroked his face, "Come, I bet a warm shower would feel good."_

_They went into the bedroom and stripped, Ibiki's cock was erect and for a moment he looked longingly at it.  He knew his lover didn't expect anything and their bodies would calm in a bit, still he wished he could feel his beloved in him._

_When they walked into the spray, Ibiki gently kneaded his muscles loosening them as Kakashi tried to find the words to explain._

_"Jiraiya... he has so many..." Kakashi gave a weary sigh. "One of his past lovers was there, he offered Jiraiya what 'no one else could give him'..."  Kakashi frowned,  "He can take him in his throat... and he  doesn't have to be careful fucking him... Jiraiya kept telling me he did not want him but Samoshii was so certain."_

_Kakashi stroked Ibiki's chest softly, he knew it teased him but he just needed to feel him, it was reassuring to be able to talk about it.  "Samoshii said Jiraiya will always want what he could give him... that he's the only one that Jiraiya would be able to fuck without having to give up his pleasure and be careful not to hurt... the only one that can truly give Jiraiya oral sex.   That he'd always long for the freedom and pleasure he could give him."  Kakashi looked somberly in his beloved's eyes, "That he'd never feel that pleasure again if he did not return to him."_

_Kakashi now cuddled into Ibiki enclosed by his arms again, it was very soothing.  "I wanted Jiraiya to feel free to do what he could with his former lover... not have to be careful."   Kakashi had realized as they'd traveled home... Jiraiya didn't like hurting anyone and he'd done it for him, he'd 'made' his beloved do something he found distressing... the knowledge brought guilt._

 

_"Jiraiya accepted that I wanted that and was less cautious but explained, he wants to be gentle, enjoys it and the freedom  Samoshii offers is not something he wants.  I shouldn't have wanted Jiraiya to do that... I was selfish, I know I hurt him and I am so glad I didn't hurt you."_

 

**Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "I trust you both."  His Saiai was quiet, there was something more he needed to share, Ibiki could see a hint of confusion in his beautiful eyes as he stated, "Jiraiya got angry at Samoshii... he threatened to kill him if he didn't stay away from me..."**

**Ibiki nodded and reassured, "Jiraiya is not a person who is easily angered but when he feels the person he loves is threatened... that changes very quickly.  Several years ago we had a man try to rob the house... the only thing that saved his life was the fact he passed out while I was talking to Jiraiya... while I was trying to convince Jiraiya not to kill him.  I'm certain without a doubt, Samoshii would be dead if he hadn't listened, and the man had just enough brains to realize it too."**

**That was after he went and got his poor broken Koishii from the Land of Lightning, He'd hurt Jiraiya so many times  and now he could physically give him great pleasure but wouldn't do it.**

 

_Kakashi nodded, he was not bothered by the idea of Jiraiya killing Samoshii, only a bit uneasy about Jiraiya's expression of anger... and now confused by the look on Ibiki's face.  His beloved looked very grim, Kakashi waited and Ibiki quietly admit, "I don't have a gag reflex anymore."_

_Kakashi was confused for a moment longer, then nodded as he understood and embraced his lover.  He understood his beloved's frustration, Ibiki could take Jiraiya in his mouth to the base physically, but mentally he could not bear it.  Now he wished he had not told Ibiki what Samoshii had said, the taunts that Jiraiya would never know that pleasure again_.

_Quietly Kakashi asked,  "Does Jiraiya know?"_

_Ibiki nodded.  Kakashi held his beloved and stroked his back, it was all he could do, he could not take back his words no matter how greatly he wished he could._

 

\--------------------------------

 

_They finished their shower and Ibiki dressed, "I need to go back to work for a bit."  Kakashi nodded, he understood, it was his beloved's job to secure any classified items that the ANBU he had sent on missions brought back when they returned.  But he wished he could stay, it still hurt inside that he'd upset Ibiki with his words._

 

**As much as he wished he didn't have to go, he had to return to work for a bit longer, he had men coming in from missions tonight and he needed to be there to secure the information they'd acquired.   Besides that he felt it was important to be there waiting for them to return from any potentially dangerous mission, for some of his men, he and their fellow ANBU were the only family they had.  Ibiki knew how that felt, for so many years that was how he'd felt too.  He still felt his men were part of his family, they always would be, but he was not alone any longer and had a deeper love from his partners... he was very blessed.**

 

====================================================================

 

Tsunade quirked her eyebrow, "A kokeshi doll?"

 

Jiraiya laughed and nodded, "A sweet little girl with a flower kimono."

 

She looked dismayed, but as he handed it to her, her fingers stroked over the smooth surface, her expression soft.  When she looked up she remarked playfully, "What am I supposed to do with a doll... should have brought me sake."

 

In spite of her protests she still cradled the doll in her palm and he could see she loved it.  "So how was your trip?"

 

Jiraiya sat on the windowsill.  "That's something I wanted to talk to you about."  When Shizune walked in to set a paper on Tsunade's desk, she handed her the doll, Shizune smiled at Jiraiya then left with the doll.

 

Tsunade turned her attention back to Jiraiya waiting seriously to listen to his dilemma. 

 

"Remember Samoshii?"

 

Tsunade curled her lip as if confronted with something disgusting, "I wish I could forget, I swore I would kill him so many times, only to have you talk me into letting him get away with his acts of cruelty."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Big mistake... he is one that has kept returning like a rat to the pantry, perhaps I should have let you kill him."  Jiraiya was only half joking.  "He was waiting for me in Machihazure, must have found out I was bringing a manuscript to my editor...  The encounter with him was just as distasteful as it usually was... but with Kakashi there it added to the problem.  I'd hoped that during this short trip I could ease Kakashi's doubts and give him security once more."

 

Tsunade scowled, "Not likely with that calculating rat hovering around." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, "He caused a great deal of distress for Kakashi.  In the end..." Jiraiya looked sheepish, "I told him I'd kill him if he went near either of my lovers ever again."

 

Tsunade laughed, but as embarrassed as Jiraiya was about his flash of temper, it was the truth.  If Jiraiya had been brought to the point where he felt his loved ones were threatened, anger or not, his words were true.  Jiraiya would kill him to protect them.

 

"Which brings me to one of the reasons I'm here..."

 

Tsunade nodded, "I'll put him on the banned list on the gate and notify his family that if he trespasses on our surrounding area he will be treated like an enemy... they can determine what that would entail for themselves."

 

Jiraiya relaxed and smiled, "You're priceless."

 

"You better believe it!  So when can we sneak out to the bar for a bit?  You left me without an accomplice for my mischief for almost a week." The humor in her gaze lightened his spirits, everything would be fine now.

 

Jiraiya laughed, "How about tomorrow?"

 

"I'm holding you to it." she replied with a smile.

 

"I won't let you down."  Jiraiya assured.

 

Her eyes warmed, "No, you never let me down, thank you Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya gave a little wave and walked out of her office.  Shizune had the doll on her desk and as he walked out she smiled, "Don't let her fool you, she loved the doll.  Soon we will run out of room on the shelves of the main room and she's talked about converting an entire wall to a shelving unit... she has every treasure you've ever given her since you've first met.  Even when she was gone from Leaf she'd stored them safely.  You mean a great deal to her." 

 

Shizune was relieved, this all had worked out in the end.  Tsunade smiled so much easier now, handled her duties with less defiance, having Jiraiya live here had been good for her.  Their bond brought stability.

 

 Jiraiya smiled, "She means a great deal to me as well, we are the last 'family members' the other has." 

 

He waved and continued down the hall and out of the building.  Jiraiya was happy, he had the three most important people in his life here beside him, he couldn't ask for anything more.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

When Jiraiya walked in Kakashi rose and walked over to embrace him, Jiraiya was about to tease him about the fact his nude body was very tempting, but the look on his face said he was very disturbed about something.  That and the fact Ibiki wasn't present sent a stab of fear through him, but he pushed it away and concentrated on his Myobu.

 

Kakashi lay against him and his eyes filled with sadness, "I told Ibiki what Samoshii said... I wish I hadn't."

 

Jiraiya gathered him gently in his arms, and when Kakashi pressed against him he tightened his arms around him protectively.  His Myobu was very upset, but there was no way he'd have known that telling Ibiki would hurt him.  "Everything will be ok, I promise, we can handle this, we can handle anything together."

 

This was the words that Kakashi needed to hear and he looked up with adoration.  "Together." 

 

Jiraiya nodded and kissed him, "Where is Ibiki now?"

 

_He wasn't alone anymore, he had people who loved him that would help solve any problem... It felt so good.  He loved his partners so much, nothing was too much to handle if he had them to support him.  "He had men coming in from missions, he'll be back in a little while."_

 

Jiraiya felt a surge of relieve, then urged.  "Come, lets lay on the bed, I wish to massage you."  Kakashi nodded and walked in to the bed looked back trustingly at him.  Jiraiya placed a kiss on his temple.  "Lay on your stomach my precious one."

 

When Kakashi lay on the bed Jiraiya straddled his body resting all his weight on his bent knees so he wouldn't put pressure on his lover.  He drew the massage oil, it was a soft sandalwood scent that was very soothing, and he started at his beloved's neck working slowly down his partner's back and pausing at his lower back and ass for several moments massaging him until his muscles were loose before continuing down his thighs to his feet.

 

_Kakashi felt like he was melting into the bed it felt so wonderful, he had never felt so at peace before the first time his beloved massaged him.  When Jiraiya moved off him, Kakashi turned over... there was one part of his that could never be relaxed when his skilled lover's hands were on him... and Jiraiya smiled his eyes darkening in desire as he saw his erection._

 

"You are so incredibly seductive my Myobu."  Jiraiya placed kisses over his pelvis as he shifted down to breathe warm moist breaths over the now throbbing length of his cock.  Jiraiya licked the swollen head slowly and purred, "Mmmm... I love the feel of you... the taste of your skin, the way your cock feels in my mouth... the erotic cries of rapture you give as your body bows up into the pleasure of my mouth."

 

Kakashi gave a pleading little whimper, then a ecstatic cry as Jiraiya's mouth covered his erection and dropped down to the base.  Bobbing quickly on it then lifting his head to blow over the needy flesh, but he knew he should not be teasing him right now, his muscles were sore.  He covered the tender length and skillfully brought the sensual man to his climax.

 

Jiraiya slipped up to straddle his partner's body, but kissed him deeply before starting to massage him from his neck down to his feet.  His Myobu's sated cock twitched in interest, but he was unable to become aroused and by the time Jiraiya reached his feet his beloved was nearly asleep.  Jiraiya lay beside him and gathered him close. 

 

Sleepily Kakashi murmured," That first time you massaged me... you lulled me to sleep with your touch... I will remember it always... it was the first time I'd slept so peacefully..."  He sighed happily, "I felt safe."

 

His amazing Myobu snuggled against him and soon was asleep, Jiraiya lay softly petting him.  All the doubts and fears, all the pain... it had all lead to this perfect love, he was more blessed than any other person in the village, his lovers were worth every moment of sadness.

 

============================

 

**Several days had passed since his lovers return, every one of those days he'd thought about what Jiraiya's ex-lover had said to his Saiai.  Samoshii was wrong _he_ could give him that pleasure and he was determined to try tonight while Kakashi was gone.**

**Kakashi was not sore any longer and was gone on a 3 day light duty mission.  Ibiki smiled as he remembered how Iruka had asked about Jiraiya and Kakashi daily until they returned.  Iruka was a good man and a good friend.**

**When his Koishii came to walk him home from work Ibiki kissed him passionately, as he broke the kiss Jiraiya groaned and lightly teased, "You got me so excited I'm not sure I can walk!"**

 

But the tease had just started as Ibiki's hand slipped down to brush his fingers over the confined length and  Jiraiya moaned, "Koishii!"  Then wrapped his arms around his lover and made the hand signs to bring them back to their house.  His lover's mouth now caressed Jiraiya's throat and he felt Ibiki free his cock.   Jiraiya's pants pooled around his feet and he stepped free as his beloved striped his shirt off as well. 

 

Jiraiya decided his Koishii's tease deserved a bit of 'retribution' and he easily stripped his beloved's clothes off, baring his sexy body.  Ibiki kissed him passionately again, then trailed passionate kisses down to his neck, his beloved had him so excited he trembled!  He cried out in pleasure at the suckles and kisses his Koishii teased his throat with, and retaliated by circling Ibiki's nipples with light brushes until they were taut peaks begging for his mouth.  This was wonderful! 

 

Jiraiya was so excited that when his beloved wrapped his hand around his turgid cock Jiraiya cried out with every stroke until he came, then cradled his amazing lover close and kissed him passionately. 

 

**Ibiki broke their kiss, if he didn't do this now he wasn't sure he'd be able to... he slipped down to before Jiraiya.  Although his lover was not erect he was feeling more anxiety than he had the last time he'd knelt before him.  It was enhanced by what Kakashi had told him... Samoshii's taunt that his exceptional Koishii would 'never feel that pleasure again'.**

**He could give him that pleasure, hesitantly he caressed Jiraiya's balls then licked his flaccid length.   He could do this, he would do this... give his beloved that pleasure.  Ibiki covered his lover's flaccid length, easily teasing him hard... hard like all the cocks that pounded into his body... slammed into his throat... no this was not them and he could do it... but those memories remained and made his heart pound so hard he thought he'd be sick.**

 

Jiraiya could see his beloved was becoming very anxious as he hardened and urged, "Koishii, please kiss me... let me feel you, the man I love, in my arms."

 

**Ibiki released his lover's erection and rose to feel his beloved's loving arms gather him close, his tender kisses felt so good.  Jiraiya wasn't _them_ , his Koishii deserved the pleasure he could give him and he'd keep trying until he could give him that pleasure**.

 

So this was why his beloved had been teasing him, hoping if they were aroused that it would be easier to attempt this.  His Koishii tried so hard, fought against the things that were holding him back.. he drew his brave partner over to the couch.  Jiraiya sat and urged Ibiki down to straddle his thighs.

 

**Ibiki wasn't sure he could do this, that he could bear being fingered right now, his emotions and thoughts felt so chaotic inside.  But his lover didn't touch his ass, only placed a hand on his back drawing his chest close and sucking his nipples, teasing them with flicks of his tongue.  Then slipping a hand down to gently fondle his balls, sending soft pulses of chakra flowing over them, and licking the tender scars of his chest.  His beloved teased him until he was shaking with his urgent need and he begged.  "Please Koishii, please touch my ass."**

**Jiraiya's hand circled around to trace the part and Ibiki stunned them both by leaning into him spreading his legs wider in a wordless plea for the wonderful touches to go between.**

 

Jiraiya continued teasing his beloved's rim while he dampened his other finger and the slick digit replaced the other.  Very lightly it circled until Ibiki was moaning and  pressing into the pleasure, "Inside please!"  Jiraiya was surprised, but slipped his finger in and slowly moved it inside his lover's body.

 

"More... please Koishii! " Ibiki groaned.

 

 Jiraiya cupped his face and kissed him, "You never have to plead Koishii, I will give you anything just ask."  The soft begging words was making Jiraiya a bit uneasy, and he decided this would be a good time to put an end to this, after this he needed to talk with his beloved, it felt all wrong.

 

Jiraiya slipped his finger out and sent chakra into his lover's body as two pressed slowly in, the power of the waves of chakra steadily growing until Ibiki gave a rapturous moan as he reached his climax.  Jiraiya pushed deep and stroked soft pulses of chakra over his pleasure spot as he gave another hard buck fully sating his needs.

 

Asking for things was good, but for his Koishii to 'beg' for him to do something was not good and to do so after being on his knees was just plain distressing!  Jiraiya caressed his beloved's face, "Koishii I worry about you... in truth it frightens me a bit to hear you beg me to 'please' do something sexual..."

 

**Ibiki nodded, yes it had made him feel a bit uncomfortable too.  He kissed his lover gently, "I'm sorry I upset you Koishii.  Everything is ok, I promise."**

 

Jiraiya nodded, then traced the tender scar tissue of his lover's throat with light strokes of his tongue,  Ibiki was slowly hardening again and Jiraiya purred, "What do you want Koishii?  I will give you anything you desire."

 

Ibiki sighed and lay against him, although his words were soft Jiraiya heard them clearly.  "I don't know what I want any more... I'm just so tired of being afraid to do things... frustrated..."

 

His beloved was sitting, his body relaxed... with his fingers still inside him!   Curiously Jiraiya wiggled his fingers.

 

**Ibiki looked up in surprise... he'd for gotten they were inside him... accepted the feel of them... He did know what he wanted now.  "I want you to continue... I want to feel pleasure at three fingers stroking the inside of my body."**

Jiraiya didn't remove his fingers only lightly cupped his lover's head drawing him into a passionate kiss.  As Ibiki began breathlessly moaning Jiraiya slipped his fingers out slicked three and rested them against his beloved's entrance as he returned to passionately kissing his throat.  Ibiki rocked his hips slightly, pressing against them, then stopped and just lay his head against Jiraiya's shoulder.  Although his eyes were closed Jiraiya could feel the distress and frustration flowing through his brave partner and could hear it in his tone as he said, "I can't do this... not right now.  Just hold me." 

**Sometimes he could do so much, others he could barely accept sexual contact, he knew he distressed his Koishii.  Jiraiya was gently placing kisses over his shoulders and massaging his back as Ibiki continued to lay forward with his head bowed against his lover's shoulder and tried to explain, "It's like walking into still water and never knowing if there suddenly going to be a drop off... sometimes the walk goes well... but sometimes it's the drop off, suddenly nothing stabile beneath my feet... I never know."**

**Jiraiya, tenderly cupped his chin and drew his face up placing a loving kisses on his brow, he soothed, "Don't fear the drop off, Kakashi and I will always be there beside you to pull you back into the safety of our arms."**

**Ibiki cradled his Koishii's face, "You are exceptional in every way, I love you."  After they kissed softly Ibiki said, "Let's go shower."**

**Jiraiya nodded, while in the shower his Koishii's touches held only love, not desire and they calmed him.  He'd tried pushing too hard and ended up so conflicted that touching his lover and being touched had lost all joy.**

**===============================**

**END OF CHAPTER 30**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 30: DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN (ALESANA)


	31. ONE STEP CLOSER (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 31)

**ONE STEP CLOSER (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 31)**

\-----------------------------------------

 

_Gennai reached forward to grab a mission report paper too and Kakashi looked over at him, the look in his eyes was cold and hard leaving no doubt he'd be severely injured if he touched him.  He wasn't in the best mood and now he just wanted to get done and go see his lovers._

_Gennai slowly drew his hand back, "I'll wait."_

_Kakashi took the paper, turned a walked over to his usual perch while writing his mission brief.  Jiraiya and Ibiki didn't want him to refrain from reacting, they accepted him.  This brought a rush of warmth, they accepted him._

_He would do anything to keep them... Samoshii would not ever tempt Jiraiya again... he couldn't allow Samoshii to take Jiraiya, not him or anyone, he and Ibiki needed him and no one else could have him._

_He'd kill everyone of Jiraiya's 'angel' or 'companions' that attempted to take him.  Jiraiya may say he would not be interested but Kakashi didn't believe in allowing a threat to survive, whether to protect the village or his lovers._

_He felt guilt that he'd broke his promise to not kill Samoshii, but it could not be helped, the threat had to  be eliminated._

 

\-------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked serious as he told Jiraiya, "It's come to my attention that your former lover Samoshii is missing."**

**Ibiki understood his Saiai, it was not surprising that he'd done it.  Kakashi had been an ANBU since childhood, the way he viewed the world was a bit different than most people.  He did not quite understand why something that would put an end to a 'threat' should not be done, but in this case his odd logic could easily become a major problem.**

 

Jiraiya nodded, he knew what Ibiki was thinking and he agreed.  Samoshii disappeared, along with the fact their partner was gone on a mission at the time made him certain Kakashi had completed his easy mission quickly and taken a 'side trip'. 

 

It did not greatly upset him that Samoshii was dead, it was bound to happen eventually when you spend your life callously using others and he could not find sympathy in his heart after knowing how many people he hurt without regards for their feelings.  The thing Jiraiya and Ibiki found disturbing was that once more Kakashi was feeling insecure enough that he felt he had to guard him from others who may want him.  If one of the nin or villagers felt like a threat he could possibly kill them too.  This was something he needed to find a resolution to.

 

**Ibiki gave his beloved a kiss and Jiraiya caressed his cheek, "Tell Kakashi I'm in the missions office."  Ibiki nodded and watched his amazing lover walk out.**

**He knew Jiraiya could handle it, as to the missing man, he was a spoiled rich boy from family money and was often disappearing briefly, until he needed more money.  It would still be months before they suspected there was something serious going on and at least a year before they began to consider him having been injured or killed.  It would not trace back to the Leaf Village and he was certain the remains would never be found**.

 

\-----------------------------

 

**Ibiki smiled as his Saiai walked in to his office and kissed him.  Jiraiya would take care of this situation, of that he was confident and he'd leave it to him.  Kakashi remained in his arms a few moments longer then stroked his face, "Jiraiya and I will be back to walk home with you later."**

**Ibiki nodded, "I love doing that with you and Jiraiya... but he isn't at home right now, he's at the mission office."**

**Kakashi nodded, but there was a hint of anxiety in his eyes. "I will go find him."**

**Ibiki kissed him again, "I love you Saiai."**

**Kakashi gave a radiant smile, "I love you, we will meet you here."**

**Ibiki watched his beloved walk out then sat at his desk once more, when Jiraiya had told him to tell Kakashi he was at the mission office.  He didn't ask why, but he knew somehow it was to handle the 'problem' that had arose.  They were so very lucky to have Jiraiya, Ibiki went back to scanning the patrol records for anything that had been flagged as unusual.**

 

\--------------------------------

 

_When Kakashi walked in the office he saw Jiraiya seated on the corner of the mission desk... by Kotetsu,  smiling at him... no, he wouldn't let_ _anyone_ _have him!_

 

Jiraiya felt bad for 'using' Kotetsu as a way to address this issue, but he would not let him get harmed.  The notoriously promiscuous man was looking up at him and laughing at a humorous taunt .  Jiraiya seemed to be paying attention to him, but in truth he was watching Kakashi as he approached.  His Kitsune radiated hostility in his movements, but when he stopped before him he surprised Jiraiya by brushing his hand softly, a gentle plea for attention. 

 

Jiraiya turned away from Kotetsu, his body language indicating he dismissed him and had no interest in him now, and gave Kakashi his whole attention, "I am here waiting for you, although you were only gone briefly I missed you very much." 

 

Kakashi wanted to be held, the love in his partner's eyes was so wonderful.  Kotetsu glanced over and saw the way Jiraiya was looking at Kakashi.  He smiled, "Go Kakashi, I can fudge this report.  Jiraiya looks like he really missed you."

 

Kakashi nodded and surprised Jiraiya once more by leaning against him, "I want to be home."

 

Jiraiya made the hand signs and they appeared in their living room, Kakashi drew his mask down  and Jiraiya gave him a soft kiss, "I am always tempted to go with you but I can't leave Ibiki alone like that, I do not ever want to hurt either of you.  I wish I could be at both your sides all the time, I need you, in every way my beautiful Kitsune."

 

Jiraiya placed adoring kisses over his face as he murmured,  "You and Ibiki are the center of my world, only my two partners bring sunshine into the dark." 

 

"Mmm..." Kakashi groaned happily,  pressing into his light kisses.  Then drew back a bit and looked in Jiraiya's eyes,  "You know I killed him."

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his temple and replied, "I suspected so." Then looked seriously in his eyes, "Please trust me my wonderful Kitsune.  Trust my love, give me your faith and know that nothing anyone could ever offer is enough.  I only want my partners... always."

 

_Kakashi nodded and snuggled into him, although extremely aroused, this... being held and feeling the deep love his partner felt was the only thing he wished for.  As he lay into his lover's body he understood what his beloved was saying... this feeling he felt was the same as what Jiraiya felt.  This 'warmth' was a greater draw than anything sexual... their need for each other emotionally bound them together._

_Jiraiya wouldn't give in, he would never be tempted by the shallow feelings he'd get from sex with another, he wanted this.  Kakashi kissed him, "I will not doubt you."  He lay his head against Jiraiya's chest, softly he said, "I want to be able to hold your hand to show everyone how deeply I love you... but I can't."_

_Jiraiya gently nibbled his throat making him gasp and then shiver at the spike of lust that swept through him.  "That will come in time.  You are already moving towards that goal."_

_Kakashi looked up as he caressed Jiraiya's chest, "I want to learn to take you and Ibiki in my throat."_

Jiraiya gave an affectionate smirk, his Myobu was delightfully blunt, it was often surprising the things he said but there was always a reason even if you did not understand it at the time.  This however he understood perfectly.  After the things Samoshii had said to his lover this did not surprise him. 

 

Jiraiya almost denied it was possible to take him in his throat then he remembered it had been 'impossible' to fuck his slight beloved and yet Kakashi had found a way.  He would not deny it was a possibility some day but for now... "My gorgeous Kitsune, we can work on teaching you to accept Ibiki in your throat and not worry about me yet."

 

Kakashi stroked his face, "I can't learn, Ibiki won't be able to accept it."

 

His Myobu was right, with the difficulties his Koishii was currently having, 'learning' with him was not a good idea.  "Ok, then with me... but only to teach you how to relax your throat muscles, not to take me deep in your throat yet."

 

Kakashi nodded, his gaze excited.  Jiraiya smiled with a hint of amusement, his seductive partner really loved learning things he could use to drive Ibiki and himself wild with desire.  Kakashi began immediately stripping him, his Myobu was very enthusiastic and 'yes' meant right now... well, there was no reason not to begin immediately.   Ibiki wasn't home and wouldn't be home for several hours yet.  Jiraiya lead his beloved into the bedroom.

 

"You have already began to learn, many times you've came close to taking him in your throat, right?"  Jiraiya caressed his lover stripping his clothes as they talked.  "Just like how you tease your body into wanting to loosen so you can feel me inside.  Press gently if the muscles are not willing, rise away and try again with the next drop.  Don't force it, let your body come to accept the feel of a cock pressing lightly and for it to stop reacting  to the soft press of it."

 

Kakashi nodded, then looked excited as Jiraiya lay on the bed.  He delightedly took Jiraiya's erection in his mouth and began slowly bobbing deep on it.  Jiraiya felt his lover's throat muscles relax a bit more with every soft press, his incredible Myobu already was extremely close to reaching his goal.  Jiraiya struggled to ignore the intense pleasure and observe his beloved.  He wasn't having much luck 'ignoring' the ecstasy, he panted and gave muted groans, then a louder one as he felt the head of his cock slip into the tight grasp.

 

His whole body shook at the urgent need that rose up in him, but it was not a need he would ever be able to give in to.  "Just the head my Kitsune... no more."  The tight hold released his engorged length as Kakashi drew back and Jiraiya wasn't sure how he was going to bear the powerful tease again, but he would bear it and he would not give in to his strong desire.

 

_Samoshii's words came to him again, 'He will never know that pleasure again.'  Kakashi was determined he would learn to give his beloved that pleasure... but not now.  He would listen to his partner, to try right now he'd undoubtedly fail and it would upset Jiraiya greatly, he wouldn't do that to his extraordinary lover._

_Again he slowly pressed down then drew back until his throat muscles loosened in acceptance and took the head of his lover's cock in his throat again.  Jiraiya gave a soft whimper but remained perfectly still.  Kakashi drew back, then released his partner's erection and looked up, "Can I touch you?  I know I'm teasing you but..."_

 

Jiraiya stroked his gorgeous lover's face and reassured, "I am ok my beautiful Myobu, yes please touch me."

 

He didn't want his beloved to feel guilt or decide to give up on learning to do something that he wanted to learn... it was going to be very hard not to 'react' to his touch.

 

Kakashi returned to teasing him with every soft press and as his throat loosened once more and the engorged head of his cock slipped into the exquisite grasp again, the further tease of his lover's fingers fondling his balls brought a barely muted urgent cry.  Jiraiya panted rapidly now trying to calm himself even slightly but he knew he was doomed to fail.  The sight of his enthralling partner taking his cock in his mouth... the sensations of his beloved's throat grasping him and the light caress of his balls brought a desperation to buck into the temptation and cum that was stronger than any he'd ever felt before.

 

_Kakashi paused as long as he could, feeling the way his partner's arousal felt in his throat and gently stroking his lover's balls... when he drew back Jiraiya was shaking so hard that he immediately released his erection and slipped up over him._

_He'd give Jiraiya a different kind of pleasure, he would not make his beloved wait and prepare him or need to go slow... he'd fuck his amazing lover._

 

Jiraiya raised his legs wantonly begging for him to fuck him.  Kakashi pressed in and Jiraiya struggled not to buck down onto the coveted feel of his lover's rigid length, He did not wish to distress him and his Myobu was always worried he'd hurt him.

 

Kakashi nuzzled his ear, "I trust you."

 

Jiraiya was stunned and grateful his Myobu trusted him.  Kakashi knew he would not allow him to cause pain, he believed in him.  He eagerly cried out pushing down into the spear of his beloved's cock and rocking rapidly, moaning in ecstasy.

 

_His lover's hands cupped his ass, kneading it and drawing him closer, urging him to fuck him with stronger thrusts.  Then Jiraiya arched beneath him and cried out in breathless howls of rapture that were immediately joined by Kakashi's as the powerful contractions of his beloved's body demanded everything from him.  His lover was amazing in everything he did, he brought pleasure like he'd never imagined was possible before getting his incredible partners._

 

The two men lay panting hard as Jiraiya  cradled his gorgeous beloved to him, "Thank you Myobu, for your trust..."  Jiraiya smirked as he added,  "and some truly exceptional sex."  

 

It was a touch humorous that they both held the same fear, hurting their partner, Kakashi because of inexperience and Jiraiya because of his size, but in time his lover's fear would be calmed.

 

Kakashi smiled, then stroked his face, then his gaze turned serious once more, "This is not fair to you... I do not need to learn."

 

Jiraiya kissed him deeply then replied, "I cannot say you do not tempt me... you do more than any other lover but it also gives me pleasure to know you are filling one of your desires.  I wish for you continue to learn, as long as you desire it."

 

Kakashi sighed happily, laying on top of him and resting his head against his chest as he caressed him tenderly.

 

"Why did you wish to touch me, my amazing Kitsune?"  Jiraiya was sure he knew the answer, and that it was not an attempt to tease him further.

 

Kakashi looked up his gaze so open and honest, "You were giving me so much pleasure I wanted to express how greatly I was enjoying it... I'm sorry it teased you more."

 

No one was like his precious Kitsune, how could this stunning man remain looking so innocent and open, he hid nothing... "Myobu, touch me as much as you wish, do not worry that you are teasing me, just remember I _want_ your touch no matter how much it teases me... and knowing you stroke my body as an expression of your pleasure makes me want it even more."

 

Jiraiya didn't know how he was ever going to bear this again, the memory would make him painfully engorged before his beautiful beloved even began!  And yet he felt incredibly lucky to have this chance to give his treasured partner something he desired.

 

_Kakashi smiled, he was so blessed to have his lovers and he wanted to give them as great of pleasure as they gave him with every loving touch.  He kissed Jiraiya's chest then looked up with delight as his beloved gave a soft moan.  He would not take him in his mouth again right now, it was very tempting but so was this chance to just touch him.  He placed kisses over the firm expanse of his partner's chest and licked his nipple, Jiraiya's body eagerly responded and Kakashi felt the hard length of his lover's cock beneath him.  He wanted, Jiraiya in him but he wasn't sure he'd agree... "Can you... rock against me... press softly like I do when I want to tease my body into wanting you inside... Please, I won't move."_

 

Jiraiya smiled and placed kisses over his beloved's face, normally this would make him uneasy but his lover had cum and was not as urgently needy now... of course that would change, but he trusted him.  "Yes, my sweet Myobu."

 

Jiraiya reached over and took the lube dampening his lover's entrance copiously, both because it would make the feel of his erection gliding over the sensitive area feel even  better but also because if he was going to gently press his cock would need to be slick so he would not hurt him.

 

Kakashi looked extremely excited, not just aroused but delighted by the agreement, it then occurred to Jiraiya he had not really done this with his Myobu... he done things like this, but not the same as what his lover had watched him and Ibiki do.  Jiraiya positioned his reawakened erection against the part of his partner's ass feeling him drop his legs to straddle him and lay his head back down on his chest happily caressing and kissing it.  His lovers were so amazing, Jiraiya kissed his head.  Then slowly rocked his cock against his beloved's tender rim, Kakashi gasped and shivered looking up, "That feels good!" 

 

Jiraiya chuckled, he kissed him and lovingly teased, "It's supposed to."

 

As his arousal rubbed against the tender area Kakashi gave loud cries of ecstasy and true to his word he did not move.  Jiraiya could feel his lover's entrance soften, eager for his cock to enter and the rock of his hips was firmer now the entrance parting slightly with every rub.  His wonderful Myobu shivered in pleasure as he pressed, then continued rocking and then pressed again.  He could tell his cock entering at this point would not hurt if he was careful, although his beloved's body was eager for him he was still tight having not been stretched. 

 

Jiraiya pressed the head of his cock against the hot temptation and heard his lover's moan of delight then shifted away to rub over the area again.  Kakashi did not protest only kissed his chest and throat passionately.  Jiraiya pressed again and the head slipped into the tight hold his enticing Myobu trembled and moaned then resumed kissing and stroking his chest.  Jiraiya slowly slipped in, he paused as he heard Kakashi's soft gasp.  His beloved looked up to meet his eyes, his gaze dark with desire, "It feels so good it's hard not to cum!" 

 

Jiraiya felt a wave of relief and relaxed, continued sinking in to the tight grasp and moaning in pleasure.  When seated fully inside his lover he kneaded his ass then traced lightly around his partner's filled entrance, groaning both at the glorious feel of his beloved's body enclosing him and at the seduction of feeling his ass stretched around his swollen length. 

 

Kakashi panted, "Oh, you feel so good!"

 

Jiraiya could feel the soft shiver his lover was giving at not moving, his precious one was so perfect, "I'm going to tease you with chakra."  Kakashi gave a delighted nod, clinging to him as Jiraiya's finger traced his rim sending pulses deep into his body and listening to the ecstasy of his cries.  His sensual Kitsune  was whimpering at his need to cum, Jiraiya's fingers moved away and his arms wrapped around his beloved holding him firmly as he nuzzled and kissed his throat up to his ear.  Kakashi howled his muscles jumping as he instinctively tried to writhe.  Then feverishly cried out in rapture as his body rapidly contracted around Jiraiya's hard cock and he was teased through several strong orgasms until he lay panting on his chest.  

 

Jiraiya smiled, and his arms loosened his hands just gently cupping his lover's hips.  Although his cock pounded with need, painfully engorged this brought him deep pleasure.  Kakashi didn't lift his head but glanced up his gaze slightly apologetic, "I know I'm teasing you... you feel so good inside me... can you..." the guilt in his gaze grew as he asked, "Can I stay like this just a few more minutes?"

 

Jiraiya stroked his faced lovingly, "You can stay as long as you wish my precious Myobu."

 

Kakashi gave a happy sigh, "I really like feeling you." 

 

Jiraiya kissed his brow, "I'm glad."

 

_After a moment, Kakashi looked up and smiled, "Ok I will get off you."  His hands covered Jiraiya's encouraging him to guide him, he didn't want to cause his partner any distress.  He wanted Jiraiya to be willing to do this again,  the feel of his lover's engorged cock completely filling his body was so perfect!_

 

Jiraiya gently kneaded his hips as he drew him slowly up placing light kisses over his upper chest.  then brushing a low pulse of chakra around his lover's rim as he slipped the head from beloved's body, Kakashi shouldn't be sore, but he remained cautious.

 

Once he'd lifted him free his Myobu shifted off his body to lay beside him, his finger tracing a soft steady chakra pulse over the turgid head of his cock and watching his face.  Jiraiya groaned, his muscles jumping, Kakashi rose up to sitting his gaze intent.

 

Jiraiya knew he was watching him react and gladly gave in, moaning and bucking up into his touch. Kakashi's lips were parted, his gaze excited, he wrapped his hand around Jiraiya's cock as he brushed chakra over his balls.  Jiraiya gave urgent moans thrusting up into his hand.  Kakashi watched shivering in delight and traced the chakra down behind his balls.  Jiraiya rapidly bucked up into his grasp and the incredible tease slipped further down to rest sending pulses over his rim as Jiraiya cried out feverishly cumming hard and continuing to thrust cumming until he was spent. 

 

_Kakashi lay down beside his panting lover, tenderly stroking his chest, "You are so sexy!"_

_Jiraiya cupped his hips drawing him up on top of him and kissing him passionately, then laughed softly, "You amaze me."_

_They were coated in sweat and cum, and Kakashi couldn't be happier, Jiraiya kissed him then teased, "I suppose we should go shower now."_

 

Kakashi nodded, he caressed Jiraiya's chest once more then rose off him and the two men went to shower.  They had just enough time to shower... and change the cum soaked sheets before walking up to meet their lover.

 

================

 

**Jiraiya and Kakashi walked in both embracing and kissing him.  Ibiki studied his lovers with amusement, it was easy to guess what they'd been doing all afternoon.  He was sure the issue with his Saiai's jealousy had been solved as well**.

 

_Kakashi wanted to touch his lover, he'd wanted to touch them both so very much in the short time he'd been gone on the mission, but first... Kakashi stroked Ibiki's face and stated bluntly, "I killed Samoshii._ "

 

**Ibiki nodded, his Saiai was aware he probably already knew but wished to be honest and open with him.  He cupped his beloved's head kissing him passionately, that was done, now in the past and not worth dwelling on.  His sensual lover mewed into their kiss and Ibiki smiled as he drew back, even when he'd definitely had his need sated he still reacted with passion to him, "My sexy lovers, let's go home."**

**They walked out of the ANBU building, although Kakashi remained expressionless as they walked, Ibiki noticed he walked a bit closer now, his fingers occasionally brushed one of theirs.  His Saiai did not seem insecure and he was pleased to realize his beloved was becoming more comfortable displaying emotion.**

 

_When they walked in the door Ibiki caressed Kakashi  and Jiraiya lightly then, stated he'd go start their evening meal and walked into the kitchen.  Kakashi was worried, he looked at Jiraiya as Ibiki turned to walk into the kitchen, but his experienced partner gave him a reassuring look, "He's fine, just needs a bit of time."  Kakashi nodded his tension easing, Jiraiya knew what to do and if he said Ibiki was ok then he was, he would give him affection and wait._

 

**He was a bit worried Kakashi would take it as a rejection and he was about to back out when his lovers walked in, their expressions relaxed and they sat to watch him cook the same as always.  Ibiki was relieved that he didn't need to explain, he just didn't want to face his issues yet.**

 

\---------------------------------

 

**After their meal Ibiki cleaned up with his lovers, when done together, washing and putting up the dished was fast and easy.  They continue talking about happy memories of the past, Kakashi's were limited to the time since they stabilized their relationship between the three of them and often was about sparing with Jiraiya which he loved doing.  Ibiki enjoyed hearing about them, the slight teases and playful gestures they did before and after they spared.**

**The dishes were now done and the kitchen clean, Jiraiya and Kakashi had been very affectionate but had not taken it further.  Ibiki wasn't sure how he felt, he wanted to touch his lovers but he was not sure he wouldn't 'freeze up' again.**

 

_Kakashi looked over a Jiraiya, he wanted to do something to relax their partner, something intimate but not sexual... as he looked at Jiraiya he knew.  "I want you to teach me how to give a massage."_

 

Jiraiya smiled, it was perfect, as someone instructing he could not be the one being massaged and since  Kakashi was the one learning then he could not be the one being massaged...

 

Ibiki looked a bit amused, but Jiraiya could see the gratitude beneath his amusement, his Koishii really did wish to be touched but he wasn't sure how he'd react to sex right now.  This would be a bit tricky...  Jiraiya decided blunt would be the best way to deal with some of the possible issues.  He stroked Ibiki's cheek, "How do you feel about Kakashi massaging you?  You will be nude, his body straddling your hips, can you bear that right now?"

 

Ibiki looked thoughtful, then nodded, "I think I will be ok with it." 

 

Kakashi nuzzled him softly, "Please tell me if I make you uncomfortable?" 

 

Ibiki smiled lovingly and kissed him, "I will Saiai."

 

The three men walked into the bedroom and Ibiki stripped, it was clear he felt a bit uneasy and Jiraiya urged, "Myobu you need to take your clothes off so you do not stain them with oil." 

 

Jiraiya sat beside Ibiki as he lay down on the bed on his stomach, "Koishii lay on your back please."  Laying on his stomach right away was not a good idea, it would only increase the chances that this would cause him distress.  He rolled over and Jiraiya tenderly stroked his chest, loving caresses not meant to arouse.  Ibiki drew a deep breath and released it, some of his tension had  eased.

 

Kakashi sat on Ibiki's other side, now nude as well.  Jiraiya noted his Myobu was erect, that would not be a good thing.  He rose and walked around to sit beside him, drew massage oil and wrapped his hand around Kakashi's erection, stroking him and smiling fondly as his seductive lover writhed then cried out in release.  Jiraiya brought a towel over and cleaned him up, now he could straddle their partner without causing him distress.

 

Ibiki had watched them, his eyes dark with desire but had not chosen to join in.  Jiraiya warmed the oil and  dotted the expanse of Ibiki's chest with it.  "Lightly." Jiraiya showed Kakashi how to loosen the muscles without teasing their partner and instructed. "The weight of your touch is very important with him, too light and it will only tease him."  Their lover's skin was heavily scared and the scar tissue was very sensitive, "But not too firmly."  For the same reason as not too light, the scars were tender. 

 

_Kakashi watched seriously and mimicked his experienced lover's movements,  Jiraiya's hands guiding him until the pressure was correct.  Jiraiya watched Ibiki's face between demonstrating and Kakashi found himself doing the same.  He could see when his touch was right, the relaxation on his lover's face and the slight distress when his touch was too light or too heavy._

 

**In spite of his misgivings Ibiki found himself relaxing, the feel of being massaged was familiar and soothing.  The love in both his partners eyes, was not desire it was adoration.**

 

Kakashi had remained to the side and Ibiki had relaxed enough that Jiraiya was sure he would not become upset if Kakashi straddled him.  "Straddle his hips now so you can work evenly on all his chest muscles, keep your weight off him if possible, it makes it easier to move and more comfortable for him."

 

Kakashi moved over to straddle his hips as he worked down the expanse of Ibiki's chest he shifted back.  All of a sudden his eyes widened in surprise and he glanced behind him.  Kakashi had 'discovered' Ibiki was erect, he looked so surprised as the hard flesh rubbed against his ass that Jiraiya couldn't help laughing softly and Ibiki looked amused.  

 

_Kakashi's attention returned to meet Ibiki and Jiraiya's gaze, he saw their amusement and looked curiously at Jiraiya as his skilled lover explained, "Becoming erect is not unusual..."_

 

**Kakashi nodded but he looked uncertain as he met Ibiki's eyes, he gave him a reassuring look, "You can touch me Saiai, it's ok."**

**Just watching his lovers as Jiraiya taught their partner, and the intent concentration of his Saiai was relaxing.  They were not touching him sexually, but as Kakashi continued massaging him he'd realized he did not feel alarm at being touched, even if it had been sexual... thus leading to the quite eager reaction of his cock.**

**Kakashi shifted off him and dampened his hand, wrapped it around Ibiki's erection and skillfully stroked.  The silky oil made his touch pure rapture and Ibiki quickly rocked into the pleasure until he cried out in ecstasy as he came.  His beloved imitated Jiraiya's action cleaning him up then slipping over his prone form and resuming his massage.  Ibiki was both amused and filled with love.  His Saiai did not assume that because he became aroused that it was an invitation to have sex... his wonderful lovers filled him with joy.  "Come lay beside me."**

**His gaze swept from Kakashi to Jiraiya.  "I want to feel my lovers beside me."**

**Kakashi rose off him and lay down snuggled against his side, they watched Jiraiya rise and remove his clothes.  Ibiki heard the quiet whimper Kakashi gave as their partner's impressive erection was bared.  He doubted his Saiai even knew he'd made that soft sound of longing.  Jiraiya lay beside him and Ibiki urged, "Lay against me, I want to feel you."**

**Jiraiya rolled on his side and embraced him, his rigid length rested against his thigh, Ibiki caressed both his lovers tenderly.  "You two are amazing and I am very lucky to have you."**

**Both his partner's lovingly petted his chest.  Ibiki got the impression that although they were aroused they did not expect anything sexual... they were extraordinary, the love in their eyes was the soothing reassurance he needed.  He did not have to worry about if he reacted badly, his lovers could handle it.  "Jiraiya, I want to feel you."**

**Jiraiya's hand enclosed his sated flesh stroking it until Ibiki was giving lusty moans.  Then his Koishii released his needy length slipped up to sit straddling his hips, positioned his cock and sank down taking it into the tight hot grasp of his body.  Ibiki groaned deeply at the ecstasy, "You feel so good."**

**Kakashi's hand had continued softly petting him, he'd not taken this as an invitation to touch him sexually and Ibiki gave breathless moans at the slow rise and drop of his lover's body stroking his cock and urged, "Saiai... please, touch me, I want your touch."**

 

**Kakashi's slick fingers circled his nipples and occasionally lightly flicked the erect point before teasing the other, his eyes full of adoration remained meeting his.  Then his hand brushed down over the taut muscles of Ibiki's stomach and feathered over the tender scar-marked skin.**

_Ibiki gave a loud moan, his hips bucking up into the rock of Jiraiya's body.  Kakashi watched his lovers intently, Jiraiya was seated astride Ibiki, rocking his hips... it was extremely exiting!  He loved watching them!_

_Kakashi's gaze dropped to Jiraiya's enthralling cock, then wrapped his hand around it sending a low hum of chakra through his palm as he stroked the engorged length.  Jiraiya gave a deep moan and Kakashi's eyes lifted from the flushed head to his lover's face, his breathless cries a strong tease then back up to meet Ibiki's gaze._

_Ibiki groaned, "Saiai you are so sexy!"_

 

Jiraiya saw how this was exciting both his lovers, his body tightly clasped around his Koishii's erection firmly stroking Ibiki's swollen flesh as he cried out in passion.  Kakashi's hand remained stroking just the head now and teased to fevered need, Jiraiya bucked urgently,  fucking his tightly clenched body on his lover's rigid length and bringing ecstatic howls from him. 

 

Ibiki clasped his hips, bucking rapidly as he gave in to his climax.  Kakashi stilled his hand, resting a finger in the tip of Jiraiya's engorged cock and sending a strong pulse playing down over it.  Jiraiya arched, wailing in rapture as he came, and the powerful contractions of his muscles teased the last few urgent thrusts from his beloved before he lay spent.  Kakashi released his gratified length and Jiraiya lay down lightly covering Ibiki and kissing his throat. 

 

Jiraiya purred in his ear "Our lover needs some attention..."  Ibiki nodded his body calming as he caught his breath.

 

Jiraiya shifted over to sit between his Myobu's thighs.  His hand teasing his balls as the other stroked his cock, Kakashi mewed and whimpered rocking his hips and then gasping and rocking them faster giving fevered moans.

 

**Curiously Ibiki sat up and slipped down to watch what Jiraiya was doing, his finger rested in their lover's ass and clearly he was sending chakra waves up into their partner's body.  Kakashi rocked into his hand, fucking himself on Jiraiya's finger, until he cried out in rapture.  Then his Saiai howled his hips bucking as Jiraiya released his cock, dipped his head to take him in his mouth and quickly dropped down on it to the base.**

**The ecstatic cries of rapture his beloved gave would have excited him greatly if he hadn't been sated to a point he could not become aroused.  Kakashi wailed and bowed up as their lover's skilled tease tempted his body until it could give no more, then collapsed panting on the bed his cheeks flushed and hair damp.**

_His talented lover amazed him!  Jiraiya had taken him in his throat as he came and fucked his ass with his finger sending glorious pulses of chakra into his passage... he was exhausted and blissful.  His body so satisfied he couldn't become aroused again even if he wished to._

 

They lay resting and caressing each other for a moment before going to the shower, there they tenderly washed each other, dried and then went back into the bedroom to sleep.

 

===================================

 

After their partner left for work, Kakashi and Jiraiya returned to the bed, Kakashi had the day off since he'd just come back from a mission.  Jiraiya lay cradling his beautiful lover as he thought.

 

Kakashi sighed and lay his head against Jiraiya's chest, brushing his fingers over the expanse, then lifted his head and looked him in the eyes, "I want to do like Ibiki."

 

Jiraiya looked curiously at him but just massaged his lover's back gently and waited for him to find the words.

 

_"I want to push at the areas... the things I cannot do but want to, I want to go to the bathhouse again... and the park... I want to do all the things I can't do, to get past my discomfort and be free to do whatever I wish with you."  He wanted to do everything and not watch with longing as others did the things he wanted to._

_Jiraiya nodded, then placed a soft kiss on his throat.  Kakashi's breath hitched and he shivered at the tease._

 

Jiraiya laughed, "Would you like to go spar?"  Kakashi nodded happily.  "and then go to the bath house again?"

 

Kakashi's eyes filled with uncertainty, his nod was a bit hesitant but Jiraiya could see he really did wish this.

 

=========================

 

_Sparring with Jiraiya was one of his favorite things to do on his day off, and while they spared he had no time to think about having agreed to go to the bath house... but now they were done sparring.  Kakashi steeled himself to do it... he needed to do this, to have a normal relationship with Jiraiya.  Even if his beloved wouldn't leave it still was not fair that he was so limited in what he could do with them._

_As they approached the bath house he hid his uncertainty, but he was sure his partner could see it.  They walked in and once more Jiraiya placed the Genjutsu over the doors so no one would enter, to everyone the bath house would seem to be closed.  Kakashi wished he could tell him he did not have to... but he did, there was no way he could face baring himself in front of others... at least not yet.   Jiraiya turned and enclosed him in his arms and murmured softly, "Let's get these clothes off." then tenderly kissed him and released him from his arms._

_Kakashi slowly began to strip, but as Jiraiya removed his clothes he was immediately distracted by the tempting sight of his erection... he remembered the way his partner's had felt inside him as they sat in the warm water._

Jiraiya saw his lover's rapt gaze and smirked, "Myobu... you must finish undressing if we are to go into the hot spring." 

 

Kakashi molded his very aroused body against him and Jiraiya gave a soft playful groan, "If we keep this up and we'll need to postpone this so I can bring you home and feel your body pressed to mine in a much more intimate way."

_Kakashi mewed and shivered as his beloved nuzzled his ear, but nodded stepped back and quickly removed his remaining clothes.  Soon they were ready to go out to the pool.  Kakashi hesitated a moment in the door and felt Jiraiya's body cupping him from behind, his erection pressed against the cheeks of his ass.  Kakashi's heart raced and he gave a delighted cry at the tease._

_Jiraiya chuckled, and stepped back, without further thought Kakashi walked out beside his lover.  Slipping into the hot water and feeling the soft caress of the current.  Jiraiya drew him close, but sat him on his lap, turned him away and massaged his back... Kakashi felt deep pleasure at his touch, although he'd hoped to feel his beloved in him again this was so very relaxing._

 

Jiraiya's hands reached his lower back, he heard his sexy Myobu's breath catch and his hand slipped around to enclose Kakashi's needy length.  He began lightly stroking the shaft as the waters slow current teased the sensitive head.  His lover whimpered in delight, it only took a few minutes before he had him writhing laying back into his broad chest his eyes closed as he gave rapturous cries at the astounding dual stimulation. 

 

Jiraiya's hand slipped down and fondled his balls until he was giving fevered moans, then placed his thumb at the base pressing down to block him from cumming as his mouth lowered to lightly nibble and kiss his soft throat.  The silky skin was so sensitive that Kakashi's body trembled hard at the tease and he could barely draw breath between his gasps and moans.

 

He could feel his Myobu's body tense and his soft buck as he tried to cum... Jiraiya affectionately smirked, the tease of the water was growing stronger as his lover's cock became increasingly sensitive, engorged with urgent need.

 

Jiraiya purred, "I can't wait to bring you home and feel you my enticing Kitsune..." 

 

Kakashi looked back with passion dark eyes, rose up slightly and Jiraiya gasped as his lover's hand enclosed his cock and positioned it at his tempting entrance.  Then moaned loudly as the tight grasp gradually sank down on the turgid flesh.  Now he was nearly as breathless as his lover and he slowly rocked his hips moving in his beloved gently and giving soft cries at the tease.

 

Kakashi shivered in delight and whimpered "You feel so good... your cock filling me... moving in me..." 

 

Jiraiya groaned, "You're such a tease my seductive Myobu."  He have a soft buck and Kakashi arched, his cock jumping as he tried to cum and was denied.  He was now panting, and squirming erotically at the ecstasy of the waters caress over his furiously engorged cock, the head so sensitive he was trembling with need. 

 

Jiraiya softly nibbled his ear and teased "Don't come my sexy Kitsune, then released his erection cupped his hips and lifted him up off the swollen length of his cock groaning at the powerful temptation.  He set his lover on the edge of the pool and teased, "How long can you resist cumming?"

 

As Jiraiya's mouth covered and dropped to the base his partner whimpered and gave wanton cries of need, but did not cum.  Jiraiya lifted his mouth looking up at his trembling lover, he wouldn't tease him any longer.  "So sexy... let me feel you buck, I want to feel the hard jump of your cock in my throat." 

 

_Kakashi shivered at the seductive tone of his lover, it was a greater tease than anything his beloved had done up until now.  When Jiraiya dropped to the base, his hot tight throat grasping his cock, Kakashi wailed in rapture bucking up urgently as he gave in to the overwhelming pleasure and came.  Jiraiya now pinned his hips as his mouth stroked and drew on the over stimulated length, Kakashi tried to writhe crying out feverishly then gave a louder cry of rapture as his partner teased him into a second hard orgasm._

 

Jiraiya released his beloved's sated length, his lover trembled panting at the strength of his climax and he cradled his beautiful partner against him.  They would not be getting back into the hot water, his Myobu's over stimulated flesh could not take the tease... and Jiraiya wasn't so sure his own turgid pounding cock could bear the further tease either.  "Come my cherished one, let's grab our clothes and go home."

 

_Kakashi nodded, but his eyes dropped to Jiraiya's engorged cock, he wanted to be able to give his lover pleasure like he'd gave to him... but he couldn't take him in his throat yet._

_Jiraiya drew him into the warmth of his arms and kissed him, "This... just feeling the man I love in my arms brings me so much more pleasure than an orgasm."_

_Kakashi  smiled, "You make me happy."_

_Jiraiya massaged his back softly and then moaned as Kakashi's fingers feathered over his swollen length.  Kakashi didn't care if others on the female side heard, he wanted this so much!.  "Can I suck you? "_

_Jiraiya smiled tenderly, "Yes, you can do anything you wish Myobu, I enjoy every kiss, every touch, every moan or cry... I enjoy everything you are or can do, my cherished one."  He cupped his face as he kissed him, then asked, "I only ask you, please, do not try to take me in your throat."_

_Kakashi stroked his chest, "I know that would cause you anxiety and I would not do anything that would cause you distress."_

 

Jiraiya felt a bit guilty that he had worried he would, he trusted his precious one, but Kakashi had been very hurt by Samoshii's words.  Taunted by his lie that it was a pleasure that he urgently craved... while it felt amazing, it wasn't the greatest pleasure.  The greatest pleasure was one his wonderful partners gave him every day, their love.  More pleasure than anyone else could ever give him, he got just from feeling their touch and knowing those caresses were being given by someone who loved him.  "Thank you Myobu, I trust you."

 

Kakashi's soft hand enclosed his throbbing erection, slowly stroking it as he watched Jiraiya's face.  He groaned at the unconscious seduction in his lover's bi-colored eyes, the tempting part of his lips... then his beloved slipped down to kneel before him and looked up to watch his face as his tongue flicked over the flushed head.  Jiraiya's moan was loud and passionate.  "Oh Myobu!  You feel incredible!"

 

His gorgeous Kitsune  cupped his balls, fondling them gently as his mouth slipped down to cover his rigid flesh.  He started sucking and licking the highly sensitive length with such astounding skill that Jiraiya gave ecstatic cries of pleasure.  The tease was so great that his beloved easily brought him to climax.

 

_Kakashi felt his lover's balls draw up and released him, licking the shaft as Jiraiya's hips gently bucked,  Then he looked up with a playful smile, ran a finger through his partner's cum and sucked his finger.  He remembered how that teased both his lover's and was delighted by the husky sound of Jiraiya's voice as he groaned, "So sexy!"_

_Kakashi rose smiling happily and his beloved drew him into a deeply passionate kiss that had both men's cocks starting to harden once more.  Jiraiya broke the kiss to whisper in his ear, "I want to feel all of you lets go home."  His hot breath over the sensitive area brought a shiver and an enthusiastic nod._

 

\---------------------------- 

 

As they appeared in their bedroom back at the house Kakashi didn't move from his arms, Jiraiya kissed his throat as his fingers teased Kakashi's erection with light brushes.  His incredible lover gave wanton mews of delight, then increasingly urgent cries as the tease of his touch was magnified by soft pulses of chakra.  Jiraiya bushed a chakra stroke up between his firm cheeks and over his enticing entrance and his Myobu bucked against him with a ecstatic cry as he came.

 

Kakashi was so excited, he wanted to feel the head of his lover's cock slip into his throat and his cries of rapture!  Jiraiya kissed him tenderly then groaned into their kiss as Kakashi enclosed his arousal in his hand, "I want to feel you in my mouth..."

 

Kakashi had wanted him to do 'the same things he did with Ibiki'.  Jiraiya found that a wonderful idea and  decided to apply some of the things he and Ibiki were doing to his Myobu's urge to learn how to take them in his throat . "If I cum before you start we can continue longer, it will not tease me as greatly."

 

Kakashi smiled and nodded, relieved they'd found a way to allow him more time.  He really did love teasing Jiraiya until his cock was engorged with need for him, but he didn't like that his beloved was teased until his balls ached, past the point it brought him pleasure.

 

 Kakashi dropped down to his knees before his partner, his cock was so very tempting!  He wanted to feel it inside his body again but he wanted to taste him very much as well.  He stroked Jiraiya's cock until his lover's climax swept through him and, as it bucked, he gladly covered it for the softer thrusts.  Then immediately began to tempt it erect again, as Jiraiya hardened he started taking him deeper...

 

Jiraiya immediately flushed hard at the tease and Kakashi began drawing on the tender flesh with his mouth gently pressing down until his throat muscles accepted it and taking the head in his throat pausing and caressing his balls before drawing back.  His fingers continued fondling his lover's balls, he was so excited that it took less time for his throat to loosen and accept Jiraiya.  Every time he'd pause ecstatically fondling his balls, he was aware of how greatly he was teasing his partner and when Jiraiya was trembling in need he released his cock and slipped up over him.  Pushing into the exquisite gasp of his beloved's body and moaning as the urgent rock of his lover's hips stroked his needy flesh.

 

Jiraiya was pleased that this was leading to Kakashi becoming more relaxed about topping... Perhaps he'd show him some new positions... but not bowed, just the slim risk Ibiki may come home and see it was not worth the pleasure.... no, perhaps spooning... although not the same, that would give similar sensations as the thrust of his cock rubbed along the front of his passage...

 

Kakashi lay on top of Jiraiya feeling his lover's body grasping his sated length, he wanted this freedom with Ibiki, not to fuck him but to not have to worry his touch was upsetting him... he felt a wave of guilt.  Ibiki was not denying him anything, he had a very good reason to feel fear at many of the touches he wished to do.  Jiraiya had taught them so much, helped them get past their limits, showed him pleasures unlike anything he'd pictured... with him all problems would be solved, he just needed to wait.  "I love you."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I love you Myobu, always and forever."

 

Kakashi smiled happily, withdrew from his body and they rose.  They needed to shower now then walk up to meet Ibiki.

 

====================

END OF CHAPTER 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 31: ONE STEP CLOSER (LINKIN PARK)


	32. SOMETHING BETTER (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 32)

**SOMETHING BETTER (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 32)**

===========================

 

Jiraiya stopped by to see Ibiki on the way home from visiting with Tsunade.  Kakashi would be home soon now, he'd had an early mission, but his Koishii wouldn't be free until the end of the day... he wished Ibiki would be free to come home as well but this was his job.  As he walked into his lover's office he wondered if it felt unfair to his partners that he got to be alone with them both, but they did not ever get to spend time together without him.  Would that be  something they desired?

 

Jiraiya needed to know, he wanted both his cherished one's to be happy and have all their needs met including private time for his partners to enjoy each other without him if they wished.  Ibiki rose and walked over to kiss him tenderly, "I enjoy your visits." 

 

Jiraiya looked seriously at Ibiki as he embraced him and asked gently, "Koishii, would you like time alone with Kakashi?  You and he never get to spend time together without me."

 

**Ibiki smiled lovingly, "You are not excluding the other partner when you spend time with Kakashi or myself alone.  You do not purposely choose it, I love spending time with you both, just as I'm sure you would love to spend all your time with both Kakashi and I.  I am not longing for time alone with just you or just Kakashi, our time alone just works out that way sometimes because of our jobs."**

**Ibiki was surprised by the question, but glad his Koishii had asked, he didn't want him to worry about it.  "It is a bonus that these times, when you are with either just I or just Kakashi, happen to make getting past my limits a bit easier because we don't need to worry about Kakashi being distressed and that you are free to do things with Kakashi that may be anxiety provoking for me."**

 

Jiraiya stroked his back and placed a kiss on his throat, he was delighted when he felt his Koishii's cock jump against him and looked in his eyes with a playful smile then leaned forward to flick his tongue over the hollow behind his lover's ear.  Ibiki groaned and teased, "You had this planned... to come tempt me to leave early." 

 

Jiraiya kissed his throat and purred, "You don't need to leave work I can take care of this here."  His fingers feathered over Ibiki's arousal.  Then it occurred to him that he didn't know how his Koishii felt about the chance of being over heard... although he was not distressed by showing emotion in public anymore this was more than simply showing emotion and it was possible this was a bit too 'public'.

 

Ibiki didn't look upset, he looked amused and replied, "Oh, I'm sure that would not be a good idea... I want to feel you and you are quite passionate in your cries.  All my men would be busy trying to take care of their erections and no one would be able to go on missions."

 

Jiraiya laughed, "Yes... I suppose that could pose a problem."

 

Ibiki embraced him close and nuzzled Jiraiya's throat as he murmured.  "We do however have many empty floors, I think we could find somewhere... more suitable."

 

"Koishii!"  Jiraiya groaned at his beloved's husky purr, his cock now eager for his lover's touch.

 

**They walked down to a lower floor, this area was not in use any longer, when the building had been first built the whole top floor had been high security and guarded heavily, it had been a very unstable time, but in these times of peace the rooms up on the first floor had been put to use and it was no longer necessary to have everything on the lower floors.**

**Ibiki led his beloved to the room that had once been his office, it had been impractical to bring the heavy furniture upstairs and his office furniture had been replaced with new, leaving this room fully furnished.**

**They walked in and he closed the door behind them.  Jiraiya was removing his clothes shamelessly, unbothered by his nudity or the unusual surroundings.  Ibiki felt a slight reluctance, it felt more than a bit odd to be removing his clothes like this, but the hint of uncertainty disappeared at the desire in his lover's eyes at the sight of him.**

**Jiraiya groaned as Ibiki stripped, his voice thick with passion, "Oh Koishii!  You are so sexy, so very tempting... I'm not sure where I want to place my mouth first!"**

 

His lover's solid muscular body, every sculpted area begged to be touch to be kissed and stroked... his broad chest, his flat abs... his muscles flexing in his thighs with every step he took over to embrace him... not to mention his very enticing erection!  "I want you Koishii, I need you!"

**Only his partners could make him feel like he was truly sexy...   Jiraiya seemed to know his thoughts and corrected, "Anyone who saw your body would want you, you are far more sexy than you believe."**

**Ibiki gave him a loving kiss, "I do not care if others would desire me, all that matters is that I have two absolutely amazing lovers who want me." No one else could compare to either of his partners, they were exceptional in every way.**

 

Jiraiya stroked his back lightening his touch slightly as his hand swept over the firm cheeks of his lover's ass.  He was delighted when Ibiki moaned, his cock bobbing at the tease.  Jiraiya turned and lay back into his beloved, moaning along with his Koishii at the pleasure of feeling his lover's swollen length pushing into his body.

 

**Ibiki was glad he didn't need to try to hold back his cries, he didn't think he could even if he wished to as his cock was welcomed eagerly into his lover's incredible body.  Ibiki kissed and licked the top of beloved's shoulders as he slowly fucked him.  Jiraiya gave deep moans of ecstasy that teased him, his desire escalating rapidly and his hand slipped around to enclose his Koishii's engorged flesh.**

**As Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's erection his partner's hips rocked gently into the stimulation and he gave passionate cries.  Ibiki wanted  to make his lover desperate for him and hear his fevered howls.  Ibiki brushed away his Koishii's hair, placing kisses and flicks of his tongue over the highly sensitive area at the back of his beloved's neck.  His lover's body eagerly responded, the ripples of muscles along his taut stomach and faster rocks of his hips was accompanied by louder breathless moans.**

 

Jiraiya gasped and trembled at the rapture of his lover's mouth, but the thing that gave him the most pleasure was feeling the wonderful firm embrace of his beloved's arms wrapped around him.

 

Jiraiya tilted his hips so his lover's cock hit the perfect area inside him and, as he reached his climax, he tightened his muscles around his Koishii's rigid length.  Ibiki moaned ecstatically as he came, continuing to stroke Jiraiya until he gave another buck and satisfying him completely.

 

"Jiraiya, I love  you." Ibiki placed a kiss on the top of his shoulder. 

 

Jiraiya looked back, his heart filled with deep love for his precious Koishii. "I could not be happier, I love you and Kakashi so deeply."   Ibiki withdrew and Jiraiya turned to embrace him, as greatly as he wished he could remain in his beloved's arms to spend time just touching him and kissing his body tenderly... it would have to wait.  "Let's go shower, I think I kept you from your job for long enough."

 

Ibiki laughed, "Yes, I suppose I should get back to work."

 

Jiraiya caressed his cheek, "I love hearing you laugh Koishii." 

 

"Until you came into my life, it held no joy."  Ibiki kissed him and they went to the open bay shower in the locker room area.

 

Jiraiya enjoyed gently washing his lover, brushing over his skin and feeling his muscles flex under his hands.  Ibiki enjoyed it greatly as well and soon both men were very aroused.  Jiraiya wrapped his hand around their erections, thrusting slowly and enjoying the feel of his partner's hard cock rubbing against his.  Jiraiya gave a cry of delight as his Koishii's finger pressed into his body, moaning as every rock of his hips moved the digit with in him, the dual stimulation was pure ecstasy!

 

Jiraiya's hand stroked over the firm cheek of his lover's ass, then dared to go a bit further tracing the part with little pulses of chakra.  Ibiki groaned and to Jiraiya's delight softly asked, "I want to feel your fingers."

 

His finger slipped between and, as they thrust faster, his finger rubbed over his beloved's rim teasing him with stronger pulses that brought faster urgent thrusts until Ibiki came.  Jiraiya pressed into his lover's thrusting finger and quickly climaxed as well.

 

As Ibiki slid his finger out he kissed him and teased, "Perhaps it might be better for me to wash myself."

 

Jiraiya smiled and agreed, "Yes.  I just can't keep my hands of my sexy Koishii."

 

Ibiki kissed him tenderly then they washed and partner returned to his office while Jiraiya went home to wait for his cherished Myobu.

 

==============

 

Kakashi walked in and Jiraiya enclosed him in his arms.  Before he got 'distracted' by his sensual beloved, he asked.  "Myobu, I get to spend time alone with both you and Ibiki, do you ever long to have private time with just you and Ibiki?"  It was important to be sure his other lover held no desire to have private time with Ibiki.

 

Kakashi looked surprised, "No.  We both can't be here all the time or we could always be together, I like having you both." 

 

_Kakashi stroked down Jiraiya's body to graze over his confined erection, then slipped his fingers in to his pants feeling the silky skin covering the flushed length.  He wanted to feel it in his mouth.  "I want to take you in my mouth."_

_Jiraiya smiled and nuzzled his throat softly getting a low whimper, then answered, "Yes, my silver Kitsune."_

_Kakashi eagerly bared his lover's cock, then watched avidly as he stroked the enticing length, listening to Jiraiya's breathless cries.  When his beloved climaxed Kakashi sank down to his knees after the first buck of his lover's hips and delightedly sucked as Jiraiya gave a softer buck.  He continued fondling his balls until he could get no more from him before beginning to tease his cock erect again, pressing into the slowly hardening flesh and taking it in his throat, happily caressing his thighs and cupping his balls_.

 

Kakashi had the skill of relaxing his throat muscles well on its way to mastered and Jiraiya wrapped a hand around his shaft allowing for him to press down and take more of his cock in his throat.  The sensations were exquisite!  Jiraiya groaned, "Myobu you feel so good!" 

 

Jiraiya wanted to cry in pleasure as his partner's incredible mouth began stroking his aching flesh, sinking down on it then drawing back and continuing the powerful tease. 

 

He would only allow his beloved to take part of his cock in his throat, but then that would be enough to allow his Myobu to learn to take their lover in his throat.  It did not take long for the exquisite tease to bring Jiraiya's orgasm again. 

 

_Kakashi rose and they walked over to sprawl on the bed, although he was aroused he loved just being held sometimes, it made him feel safe and loved.  Jiraiya often put he and Ibiki's needs before his own,  it felt good that he'd brought him pleasure and filled his desires_.

 

As they lay resting Kakashi snuggled against Jiraiya, his tone was soft and uncertain like he wasn't sure if he was saying something wrong.  "Wish... I'd like to be able to touch Ibiki's ass when he was fucking you, tease his entrance, but it will upset him." 

 

Jiraiya massaged his back tenderly as he replied, "Maybe.  Some things are not able to be done at this time, but it doesn't mean they will always be excluded... just wait a bit longer Myobu, we are getting so close to reaching that point.  Don't be afraid to ask, you are not doing anything wrong by asking."

 

Kakashi looked up and stroked his face, "Is he becoming more comfortable with your touch there?" 

 

Jiraiya nuzzled him softly, "He's becoming more relaxed with both our touches, he wants this so bad, he's trusting both of us to help him finally be free of his past."

 

_Kakashi vowed he'd be stronger, he would learn not to react with distress when Ibiki tried things, he needed to be able to help him more.  He was broke from his thoughts by the feel of Jiraiya's fingers brushing very lightly over his balls.  Kakashi mewed and a bit breathlessly begged, "I want to feel you in me."_

 

Jiraiya nodded, he grabbed the lube and just continued to cup his beloved against him as his slick finger pushed between the rounded cheeks of his lover's ass and traced over his sensitive rim.  He passionately kissed him as his finger slid in and Kakashi eagerly whimpered into their kiss but did not break it.  Very quickly his Myobu's body loosened, the long tease of sucking Jiraiya's cock had left his body eager for the feel of him inside. 

 

Soon Jiraiya was able to fuck his beloved's tempting body with two fingers.  When the muscles fully relaxed, he slipped his fingers out and pressed three in.  He paused as his lover's body flexed around them, not in protest, but in excitement and then welcomed them in.  After a few strokes Jiraiya drew them out and urged his enticing Myobu to lay on his other side, his back resting against his chest.

 

_Kakashi  lay embraced by his lover's body, he was eager to feel his partner fucking him and thrilled by the new position._

_Jiraiya lay behind him scooping a leg up to bare his entrance, gently pressing into his prepared body, then carefully rocking, the slow thrusts of his cock into his body was so astounding that it nearly brought tears to his eyes the ecstasy too extreme to cry out he just gasped and whimpered._

_Kakashi glanced back, his partner's gaze was full of love and his joy at his ecstasy... this wasn't a tease he was giving him the most pleasure he could, focused solely on him and brushed a kiss over his lips before placing soft kisses over his shoulder and back.  The slow silky strokes over the nerves of his rim was so wonderful that even as his need built he didn't want to give it up!_

 

Jiraiya gently rocked, then drew a rapturous cry as he circled his hips and resumed the cautious thrusts, his cock rubbing over his lover's tender entrance with every stroke.  Kakashi was trembling now and Jiraiya pressed all the way in rocking a bit faster but remaining deep.  He was well aware of the way his beloved would react, giving fevered wails but unwilling to move and allow his cock to slip back from where it was buried deep inside him. 

 

Kakashi  urgently begged, "Not yet please."  He took Jiraiya's hand placing it at the base of his erection... his Myobu had taken a great liking to being denied release until his body burned with need... very sexy!  Jiraiya nibbled at his throat softly, his lover's cock jumping in his grasp as he tried to cum,  then teasing him until his turgid length jumped again but was denied.  His beloved's muscles rippling around his cock was a temptation strong enough to make _him_ want to beg! 

 

"Cum in me please..."  Kakashi was trembling hard and panting out his words between rapid moans and whimpers,  "Deep, right  there, let me feel you please!"

 

Jiraiya groaned, he wanted that very much, he needed to trust him and believe his amazing Kitsune would not ask for anything that would hurt him... still he'd have to be careful to only give a small buck, with his cock seated to the base there would be less force but he could still hurt him greatly... Jiraiya gave a breathless moan as Kakashi howled in another denied orgasm, then gave in to his need to cum.  Bucking softly and remaining pressed deep as his hand released the base of his lover's erection and he stroked him to his desperately desired climax.

 

Kakashi wailed in ecstasy, trying to writhe, but Jiraiya's hand now held his hip keeping him firmly pressed into his cock.  Although sated it remained semi erect at the continued spasm of his lover's muscles around it and he gave a few gentle bucks.  His beloved howled in rapture, his cock jumping again at Jiraiya's cock rubbing over his pleasure spot.  As he calmed Jiraiya smiled tenderly and gave his flushed cheek a kiss.  "You amaze me Myobu... so seductive your cries bringing me greater pleasure than I could ever imagine."

 

_Kakashi panted as he tried to catch his breath, his whole body tingled at the intensity of his orgasms... but what brought him the greatest joy was that his lover was fully in him, his wonderful cock still deep inside his body, he loved the feeling of connection it brought... and he'd cum!  He was fully inside him and he'd cum, that brought him a deep pleasure and a feeling of being loved.  "Can you stay there... just a bit... I really like feeling you inside me."_

_His partner nuzzled his throat and Kakashi gave a shocked gasp, his cock twitching in an effort to respond to the tease but he was too sated and Jiraiya gave a soft laugh and purred, "Yes, my gorgeous Myobu."_

_Kakashi knew he shouldn't ask but his lover's words about wanting him to ask for the things he desired gave him encouragement, and this would be the one time he may_ _agree.  "I want to feel you cover me... when I'm on my stomach."_

_Jiraiya looked sad, "I'm sorry Myobu... that I can't do."_

_Kakashi nodded, he hadn't really expected him to agree, he was always so very careful not to cause him pain... maybe he thought it would hurt?_

 

Jiraiya could see the disappointment in his lover's beautiful eyes, and the acceptance.  Jiraiya placed adoring kisses over his throat as he withdrew, feeling his beloved shiver in pleasure. 

 

He wished he could do that for him... it wasn't that he'd hurt him, he could support his weight partially on his forearms... no, he would not hurt his Myobu, but it would his Koishii.  Jiraiya just couldn't take that chance, seeing him 'pinning' down their lover would be very traumatic for his beloved.

 

Gently Jiraiya tried to explain, "My precious Myobu... Ibiki..."

 

_Kakashi's eyes widened slightly and he nodded.  Jiraiya was right to not wish to cover him!  He was not afraid of hurting him, he had just thought of the one thing Kakashi had not thought of... Ibiki, the slim chance of their partner walking in just as he had that first time he'd gotten Jiraiya to fuck him... no, they could not take that chance_.

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his beloved, he could see his Myobu understood how dangerous it would be and agreed.  This turned out to be a good decision as only moments later Ibiki walked in, smiled at the sight of his sweaty partners, stripped and joined them on the bed.

 

**Ibiki kissed both his lovers, then stroked his Saiai's soft pelvis as Jiraiya rolled on to his side to watch.  He wanted to work on doing more with Kakashi, he wanted the same level of trust with him and for there to be no difference between his two lovers.  He wanted to be able to give them both everything and to enjoy every touch they gave.  It was a goal he was going to actively strive for.**

 

_Ibiki kissed his way down his body to his sated cock.  Kakashi looked surprised, then glanced uncertainly at Jiraiya.  Their experienced lover's gaze reassured him and Kakashi tried not to worry, Jiraiya believed in Ibiki's ability to do this so he should too.  And he'd just vowed to be more supportive of his efforts to move past his current limits_.

 

**Kakashi gave a loud gasp as Ibiki's tongue stroked over the tender flesh and he quivered in pleasure.  He had not been certain he could do this but his doubts were swallowed by a powerful wave of excitement as his Saiai reacted in delight to his actions.**

**Ibiki covered the soft length, teasing it with his mouth, tempting breathless cries of ecstasy from his beloved.  He knew Kakashi was sated, still he wanted to hear him cry out at the feel of his mouth as he reached his climax, but he wasn't certain about it, if he reacted badly... No, he could not take the chance he'd upset his Saiai.  As his partner hardened he drew back and stroked the rigid length, watching his lover's face as he gave urgent cries and then came.**

**Kakashi was exhausted, he shouldn't have teased him to orgasm but... Ibiki's gaze slipped down to his Saiai's cock, the cum damp head a temptation he resisted although he desired to lick it.**

 

_Kakashi shot a confused look over at Jiraiya, Ibiki was looking at his sated flesh but he didn't seem distressed... not really, he looked... conflicted.  Again his beloved's calm gaze soothed his worries, if Jiraiya wasn't worried then it was ok._

 

**Ibiki looked up and met his Saiai's concerned gaze, then lay down beside him and gathered him in his arms his sexy body laying on top of his, he just wanted to hold him and feel his perfect body.  Kakashi gave a contented "Mmm..." and cuddled into him, it felt so good and his lover's happiness made everything feel like it could be handled in time**.

 

Jiraiya smiled, both his partner's looked so at peace, slowly all the past damage was being healed.

 

=======================

 

Jiraiya was done with his errands and had not started on his next novel yet so decided to drop in and talk to his Koishii.   Kakashi's longing to have him cover him was not something new, he'd wanted this for a long time.  It bothered him that his Myobu was denied something he desired so much and decided to bring it up to Ibiki.   Jiraiya smiled as he walked into his lover's office.

 

Ibiki rose and embraced him, "This is always a pleasant surprise, I'm glad you stopped in, I will be a bit late coming home.  Shouldn't be too long.  Kakashi's on a standard mission and should be back soon."

 

Jiraiya nodded and kissed him lightly.  Then replied, "There is something I wanted to talk to you about."

 

Ibiki looked curious, his hand stroked his partner's arm tenderly.

 

Jiraiya nuzzled Ibiki's throat then placed a soft kiss there... he was getting sidetracked from what he'd come to talk about and he got to the point, "Koishii, our lover wants something, but we don't wish to upset you... he wishes me to cover him while he's on his stomach."

 

Ibiki looked uncertain, but after a moment nodded.  Jiraiya caressed his face as he looked him in the eyes, "I will not move on him... can you accept this, know that I'm not hurting him, not trapping him beneath me."

 

Ibiki drew a deep breath, "I'm not sure how I'll feel, but I don't want any of us to have to hold back anymore... even if things are upsetting I do not want to avoid them."  Ibiki kissed him, "Please give our lover what he wants, do as he wishes you to."

 

Jiraiya nodded, he wanted to be sure Ibiki understood what he'd wished to do, it would make it less upsetting if he walked in on them.  "My strong Koishii, I love you.

 

Ibiki smiled, "I love you."

 

Jiraiya teased, "I better go before I beg for you to take me to your old office for sex."

 

Ibiki gave a soft amused snort, "Tempting... yes, I will see you at the house in a bit."

 

Jiraiya gave his beloved one last kiss then left to go back to their house.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

**After his Koishii was gone Ibiki thought on Jiraiya's words, his Saiai wished to be covered... What was he getting out of this?  Why would he want this enough that Jiraiya would ask to be free to do it for him?   Did the feeling of helplessness excite his partner?   Ibiki felt a chill and fought back his memories... no, he didn't think that was it.  So not submission...**

**Ibiki put it out of his head to think further on later, he could ask his Saiai when he got home**.

 

====================================

 

_Kakashi heard a soft noise, as he passed by the file storage room his step paused as he tried to decide what he wished to do.  He knew that sound, someone was crying and he knew Iruka was in there.  Kakashi turned and walked into the room.  Iruka looked up then quickly tried to wipe his tears away and gave a forced smile, "Are you looking for something?"_

_Kakashi shook his head and studied Iruka's face a moment, Iruka was having a difficult time holding back his tears.  This was not something he knew how to do... comfort someone.  He sat on the corner of the spare desk it was the only thing he could think of doing, make Iruka aware he was willing to listen_. 

 

Tears slipped down Iruka's cheeks once more.  "I really thought I'd found the one... someone who would remain beside me, love me... I was wrong."  He drew a ragged breath and released it in a hopeless sigh.  "I don't know why I believed... is there even someone out there for me?"

 

Iruka's question was rhetorical and he was surprised when Kakashi replied, "There is. You're a good person."

 

_Kakashi knew the way he felt, he'd felt that way for years, he wasn't sure why he said it, but the words eased the sorrow in the friendly man's eyes.  Iruka gave a little smile, "Thank you."_

_Kakashi nodded._

_Iruka dried his face, "I should get to work.  Thank you for caring."_

_Kakashi rose and as Iruka walked out of the room followed behind, then continued down the hall and out the door to go meet Jiraiya_. 

 

Iruka felt much better, his lover leaving still hurt badly, but the fact Kakashi had cared helped.  He thought there was someone for him... he was a honest person and if he thought that then he couldn't give up hope.  Kakashi had suffered great losses in his life but his one... or ones, were finally beside him.  Iruka just needed to wait a bit longer and not give up hope.

 

===================================

 

Jiraiya rose to greet his beloved as Kakashi walked in, his Myobu looked very deep in thought

 

_Kakashi had thought about his urge to help Iruka... care... 'thank you for caring'.  It was the first time he'd tried making someone who was upset feel better... besides his partners.  His blunt reply had helped, he hadn't said any flowery or soothing words... and yet his words had helped.  It was a bit confusing but he felt good that it had helped_.

 

Jiraiya enclosed him in his arms waiting for his lover to be ready to talk, his Myobu was becoming so much stronger.  He still had difficulty expressing his emotions at times but he could see signs that his beloved was opening up and he was less guarded with his emotions.

 

"Iruka was sad, he's lonely." Kakashi looked up and stroked Jiraiya's face lightly.

 

Jiraiya nodded, "We know how that feels, I'm sorry he's upset." 

 

Kakashi's hand slipped down to caress Jiraiya's neck, "He looking for his 'one'  the person who will stay and love him forever."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I'm sure he'll find the person it just takes time."

 

_Kakashi snuggled against Jiraiya, "I am lucky I found the ones I need."  Kakashi stroked over his chest, "I want to touch all of you."_

_Jiraiya smiled affectionately, "Gladly my Kitsune."_

_He stepped back and removed his clothes.  Kakashi looked from Jiraiya's cock up to his eyes, then quickly stripped and embraced him, "I love the feel of you."_

_His hand softly brushed over his partner's shoulders and down his back then around his hips and over his pelvis.  Kakashi kissed his chest and his hand slid down to stroke Jiraiya's thighs.  Although Kakashi's body was very aroused, he was mesmerized by touching his beloved._

_Warm... his skin so silky... Kakashi slipped down caressing Jiraiya's inner thighs and gave him a surprised look as his lover's cock jumped, he'd been so caught up in feeling his body tracing the muscles under the soft skin that it came as a surprise that he was teasing his partner.  It made sense..._

_Kakashi rose and molded his body against his beloved's again, his swollen flesh pressed against his lover's erection.  Jiraiya drew him over to the bed laying him down and laying beside him caressing his body, Kakashi gave a delighted mew at his exquisite touch_.

Jiraiya encouraged his lover to lay on his side and dampened his finger's teasing the tight passage until it relaxed.  Kakashi was already breathless with excitement his cock weeping precum at the pleasure of being prepared.

 

Jiraiya cupped his beloved's leg lifting it to fully bare his entrance and rubbed the head of his cock against it before slowly pressing in, as he did he flicked his tongue over the hollow behind his ear hearing his howls of need.  Seated fully inside his lover he circled his hips and enclosed the turgid length of his partner's cock in his hand stroking it expertly.  Even breathless with rapture Kakashi gasped, "Please cum in me!"

 

Jiraiya groaned, he stroked his beloved to his climax and as his body contracted circled his hips teasing him into stronger clenches of his passage around his erection.  He remained pressed into the rapture  careful to only give a light buck as he came in the incredible grasp.  Kakashi was breathless and Jiraiya softly caressed him as he calmed then offered.  "Myobu, would you like me to cover you?"  When Kakashi nodded, he cupped his slender lover to his body and he rolled to place him beneath him.

 

Kakashi was stunned his heart hammered in excitement he'd thought Jiraiya would cover him from the front... it was hard to believe he was really doing it!  He'd wanted this for so long... his delight quickly  ebbed.  "Jiraiya, what if Ibiki comes home?"

 

Jiraiya kissed his back tenderly, "It's ok Myobu, Ibiki and I talked about this earlier."

 

His precious one sighed contentedly and relaxed beneath Jiraiya.

 

_This felt good, he loved the feel of his lover's body molded to his, covering him... his sated length inside his body, he felt so happy.  It probably wouldn't have been important to someone else, he'd never know, but for him it was being wanted, loved, needed... it felt so good_.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki felt a chill as he walked in, Jiraiya was laying on top of Kakashi.  Ibiki almost turned and left but he forced himself to stay and as he stood numbly looking at them he saw Jiraiya was placing light kisses over Kakashi's back, and he listened to the soft murmur of his Koishii.**

**"I love you so much my amazing Myobu... every smile you give is like a precious gift... I always wish to make you happy." Jiraiya crooned.**

**Ibiki saw the relaxed way his Saiai lay, the contented smile on his face...  He felt the same way as his Koishii, he wanted to always make them happy... this made his beloved happy... contented, like when Jiraiya and he would hold him close... an embrace... for his Saiai it was a loving embrace.**

**Ibiki walked over and sat on the bed beside them, Kakashi's eyes filled with concern and Ibiki stroked his face lightly, "It's ok Saiai... I'm ok.  I want my partners to be free to do anything they want to do."**

 

Jiraiya had been aware Ibiki had entered the house and he'd known his Koishii was standing in the door, but he continued laying a top Kakashi.  He believed this would be good for his beloved if he could bear staying, it was another memory from the past that needed to be replaced with a more positive memory.  Jiraiya placed a soft kiss on the back of his Myobu's neck, then rose off him. 

 

**Ibiki refused to look down, he knew Jiraiya had been in their lover while on top of him, but that was too overwhelming to think about at this moment.  His Koishii rose drawing him up and Kakashi slipped off the bed delightedly stripping him.**

**Ibiki moaned as his Saiai sank down before him drawing his pants off, he had no idea how provocative he was without even trying... the picture of seduction!**

 

Kakashi met Jiraiya's eyes and he nodded encouragement, he knew his Myobu wanted to take Ibiki in his throat.  He knew his lover could do it, Kakashi had easily acquired the skill of relaxing his throat muscles and had no problem taking the first part of Jiraiya's cock in his throat. 

 

_Kakashi wanted to try this, he was a bit uncertain, he didn't want to upset Ibiki but the memory of his vow to help his beloved more in getting past his restrictions helped sway him towards doing as he'd wished to do for so long.  He couldn't be so hesitant to try things, that would not help his partner._

_Kakashi  slipped down to before Ibiki looking up into his eyes to see if it distressed him, Ibiki stroked his cheek,  he didn't looked anxious.  He moaned as Kakashi licked over the swollen head, then drew on it and teased the tender flesh a few minutes before starting to stroke the engorged length with his mouth._

 

Jiraiya watched, his lovers were incredible.  He could not promise Kakashi that Ibiki would not react 'badly', but they could handle it if he did and he really believed it was important for his Myobu to continue helping Ibiki move past his restrictions.  He truly wanted freedom and they would continue to work on all the aspects that he was still having difficulties with.

 

As Kakashi dropped down further his cock, now pressing slightly into his throat, Ibiki looked over at Jiraiya, he moved to cup his Koishii from behind and kissed his throat as a distraction.  His beloved  was looking very uneasy about Kakashi's actions.

 

**Ibiki's heart pounded hard, he would not stop him, he would not give in to his anxiety... the memories were so difficult to suppress.  The cries of rapture they gave as they pounded into his raw throat... he tried to believe this was not the same... his Koishii's kisses felt good, but he needed a stronger distraction.  Softly he asked, "Jiraiya I need to feel you against me... rock against my ass please.** "

 

Jiraiya nuzzled him and pressed against him, lightly rocking his cock against his ass, just having watched his sexy Koishii's body be bared had him nearly erect again.  Even though the pleasure had to be strong, Ibiki's hesitant little moans was a further indication that he was becoming more distressed.

 

**Ibiki felt a strong wave of alarm as he felt the head of his cock now sinking fully into the tight heat of his beloved's throat.  When he came he'd hurt his Saiai... like they'd hurt him so many times.**

**Jiraiya's arousal was replaced with his finger rubbing and sending light pulses of chakra flowing over his sensitive entrance.  Ibiki pressed slightly into the tease, he was uncertain and having difficulty accepting the pleasure his Saiai was giving him, his growing anxiety was too strong.**

**Jiraiya nuzzled and purred, "Will you accept me inside?"**

**Ibiki knew Jiraiya meant his finger not cock and nodded, he needed something to distract him from panicking.  He couldn't hurt his Saiai... the pain... he couldn't do that to him!**

**The strong hum of chakra from Jiraiya's finger brought a soft cry of delight as it slowly pushed in.  The pulses of chakra continued getting stronger the more it sank in.  His Koishii wrapped a arm around his waist, holding him and easing the fear he'd buck, into the rapture of his lover's mouth.  Jiraiya's  mouth teased the tender scars of his throat, powerful surges of lust were flowing through him now.  It was difficult to think of anything but the pleasure, the sensation of Kakashi's mouth slipping down to take him into his throat was one more surge of astounding ecstasy and his need to cum was escalating rapidly**.

 

"Myobu show him how much you love this, how much pleasure it is giving you to feel his cock moving deep in your mouth." Jiraiya urged.

 

Kakashi caressed Ibiki's thighs and fondled his balls, Jiraiya turned his full attention on Ibiki, "He wants you, he wants to feel you, can you give him what he desires Koishii?  Can you cum for him?"  As he talked his finger continued to stroke Ibiki's passage, the waves of chakra growing slowly to the point his lover was breathless with steady waves ecstasy.

 

**Ibiki wanted to cum, the extraordinary pleasure tempted him greatly, Jiraiya's finger slid out and both arms enclosed his waist.  The feel of his Koishii's arms tightening and holding him firmly gave him the courage to give into his orgasm.  Jiraiya held his hips tight and they didn't buck as he cried out in rapture cumming in the tight grasp.**

**As his climax ended he felt a spike of distress but before he could became afraid he'd hurt his Saiai, Kakashi rose up and began kissing him passionately .  Ibiki's distress slowly faded away as he responded to his beloved's fevered kiss.  Jiraiya's grasp had loosened and he was placing kisses over his shoulders and licking the scars, he lifted his head and purred softly,  "Feel how you excite him, you gave him a great deal of pleasure... fulfilled one of his desires.** "

 

Jiraiya noted that Ibiki hadn't even noticed the taste of cum in their lover's mouth, he was sure it wasn't cum that was the problem, although his Koishii was developing a bit of anxiety about it, it was linked to something more.

 

Jiraiya smiled as Kakashi drew back from their kiss and embraced Ibiki happily, "Thank you, you gave me the freedom to do what I've wanted to for a long time... for the first time I wasn't watching and wishing it was me.  It was me feeling you and knowing you were getting strong pleasure from me."

 

**Ibiki gave him a soft kiss, "You always bring me strong pleasure Saiai... with every touch and every cry."  Jiraiya had held him and prevented him from bucking, teased his ass, he couldn't have done it without him.  It had frightened him, but he didn't regret it, not when it brought his beloved such happiness.**

**His Saiai had liked doing it... wanted to do it, enjoyed him cumming in his throat.  Ibiki felt a wave of sorrow, that was a pleasure he'd probably never have, he couldn't even take his lovers cumming in his mouth without waves of anxiety taking all pleasure away.**

 

Jiraiya felt the slight slum of his beloved's shoulders, this was one of his strongest concerns, Ibiki feeling discouraged.  "Let's shower."

 

His lover's nodded and they went in to shower before having their evening meal.

 

======================================

 

The following day Kakashi had a mission that would keep him gone over night, when Ibiki came home Jiraiya brought up his concern, "I know that Kakashi taking you in his throat was difficult for you.  You looked sad and frustrated afterwards, Koishii."

 

Ibiki nodded and sighed softly, a defeated hopeless sound that nearly brought tears to Jiraiya's eyes, "I am frustrated.  Do you really think one day I'll be able to freely do as I desire?  It doesn't seem like it."

 

Jiraiya gathered his lover close and stroked his back.   "Yes, you will gain your freedom.  You are so strong, I know you will.  You have accomplished so many amazing things, done more than any other man could have achieved, I have never met anyone more extraordinary.  The strength you have shown and continue to show is beyond what anyone could ever believe possible.  You have survived horrible abuse and endlessly worked to regain the freedom you desire."

 

Jiraiya looked him in the eyes as he spoke, "It will all work out in the end... it's been a long hard trip but you've come so far, although we have a bit more to go it's getting close, you will reach your goal."  He could see his words were not enough, "Koishii, I want to touch you."

 

Ibiki nodded, Jiraiya slowly stripped his clothes off, placing kisses over his scarred torso, licking his nipples and freely exploring his body without hesitation.  Stroking down his thighs as he drew his pants off and taking his now swollen length in his mouth, his experienced touch fondling Ibiki's balls as he slipped to the base, and his finger slid between his lover's firm cheeks to lightly brush over his rim. 

 

**Ibiki moaned, the pleasure was so strong that for a moment he didn't realize that Jiraiya's other hand had dropped down and feathered soft strokes over the back of his knee, although he didn't feel pleasure at the sensation it did not bring as a strong a spike of distress as it once had.**

**His beloved released his cock and as he rose his hands slipped up to rest on his ass gently kneading his cheeks.  Jiraiya kissed him tenderly then circled around to behind him embracing him firmly and rocking his erection against Ibiki's ass**.

 

Jiraiya nearly groaned as his Koishii's muscles relaxed allowing him to rub over the sensitive rim, it was so tempting to give into passion but this had a point and he stilled.  His engorged cock rested against his lover's entrance,  he placed kisses over his partner's neck, then softly asked.  "Do I frighten you?"

 

**Ibiki answered honestly, "No."**

**"Has anything I've done caused you to feel fear?" Jiraiya's soft soothing tone helped calm his worries.**

**Ibiki now saw what Jiraiya had been doing.  "No, nothing caused fear."  His beloved had just pushed at nearly all of the restrictions he'd had... any one of them would have brought terror and possibly aggression in the beginning of their relationship and yet now they brought no fear and no horrible memories that stole his joy.  Ibiki felt a tear trail down his cheek, "Koishii I love you so very much."**

**Jiraiya released him shifted around to embrace him from the front, kissing his tear away and tenderly stroking his back.**

**"It is thanks to you, I didn't even try until you came into my life, from the first moment I kissed you, you started healing my damage and helping me find the strength to continue to fight for what I want.  With your love... everything changed you have brought me so much joy and so much freedom, you brought me and Kakashi together, then gave us both your love and trust... there are not words enough to say how grateful I am that I earned your love."**

 

"You have changed my life too Koishii, no more pain and loneliness no more fear that I will be tossed aside, love from two men that will love me and support me, and I can love and support for the rest of my life...  The strength was always there inside you, before even that kiss you'd already achieved so much more than most men could.  You will reach your goal my love with every day we get so much closer."

 

**Ibiki kissed him then replied, "Yes, I will reach it."  It was so easy to become discouraged to only see what he could not do and forget all he could, all the wonderful things he'd gained.**

**Jiraiya drew him into the bedroom and urged him to cover him, both men moaned in delight as Ibiki's hard cock slowly pressed into Jiraiya's body.  "Mmmm you feel so good Koishii."**

 

Jiraiya groaned and as his lover moved within him he rocked into the pleasure crying out.  Their movements becoming more fevered as they approached their climax until the rapture overwhelmed them and they gave into their orgasm.   After they lay embraced for a while just stroking each other and enjoying the feel of their beloved's body, although they were both aroused once more.  

 

\-----------------------

 

_[i]Kakashi easily completed the basic mission, eager to return to his lovers he decided he'd write up the mission log the next day since according to the mission plan he would not have been back until then anyway.  He went home and promptly to their bedroom.  As he walked into the room, his breathing hitched at the sight of both his partners their riveting bodies exposed, their wonderful erections..._

_He stripped his eyes glued to the seduction of his lover's bodies.  Jiraiya and Ibiki drew him down between them caressing his body passionately._

_Jiraiya ran small pulses of chakra from his neck down to his chest, grazing lightly over his taut nipples.  Kakashi gasped, arching into the extreme pleasure, whimpering and shivering in need as Jiraiya's lips followed the tingling path, sucking gently on the quivering flesh.  As the teasing fingers traced his hip bones, he cried out in wanton mews and writhed but the enticing touch did not go to his needy cock only v'd around the engorged length... over his balls before trailing up the swollen shaft to rest on the flushed head circling the soft hum over the tip as Kakashi howled and squirmed._

 

**Ibiki's rapt gaze remained glued to his Saiai's turgid cock as Jiraiya began stroking him slowly.  Seeing his Koishii's hand caressing their lover's erection tempted  him and brought a strong desire to hear his beloved crying out in ecstasy at his mouth teasing him to orgasm, but he wasn't sure he could or that he should take the risk of upsetting his partners if he expressed distress**.

 

Jiraiya saw the way Ibiki was watching his strokes and his hand began only stroking the rigid shaft leaving his Myobu's urgent cries tease him, when very aroused his Koishii had less trouble taking bold steps forward.

 

**Kakashi whimpered and trembled, panting out soft pleading mews, precum dotting the tip of his cock.  His sensual lover was a tremendous temptation, Ibiki dipped his head and licked the drop, hearing his Saiai howl in pleasure at the feel of his tongue.**

**Jiraiya's hand enclosed the shaft, his fingers teasing Kakashi's balls and Ibiki felt only excitement as he began licking and sucking on the tender head.  His lover's fevered cries grew until, he was nearing his orgasm, when Ibiki drew back his cock jumped as he came.  Then Ibiki covered the sensitive head sucking and flicking his tongue over the swollen tip as his beloved's body trembled in pleasure and he came until his body could not be tempted into giving anymore.  His enthralling Saiai was trembling and panting as he tried to calm and Ibiki passionately kissed him.**

 

Jiraiya was very relieved, the eager way Ibiki had sucked and teased the head of their lover's erection had been without fear, even the taste of his cum had not caused distress... this was the answer, Ibiki could  even tolerate having Kakashi cum in his mouth when Jiraiya's hand enclosed the shaft removing the 'threat' that he would buck into his mouth... they could gradually work on his accepting more of the shaft as he became used to the feel of their beloved cumming.

 

**The erotic cries of their lover had both Jiraiya and Ibiki very aroused now,  he encouraged his Koishii to lay down and covered him but it wasn't to fuck him.  It was an offer of pleasure that he knew both his partner's would enjoy as much as he did.  Ibiki positioned Jiraiya's cock to rub over his rim, Jiraiya groaned loudly.  Slowly rocking his hips Ibiki dipped his head and murmured, "Tease me, I know Kakashi loves watching your cock thrusting against my ass."**

**Jiraiya gave a playful smirk, but his eyes were dark with passion, "A very tempting offer.** "

 

As Jiraiya thrust up between the firm globes he cupped his lover's ass, kneading the cheeks of his ass, when his beloved only gave moans of delight he took it a step further spreading the muscular cheeks and baring his entrance fully as his cock rocked smoothly over it.

 

**Ibiki felt a chill as his Koishii spread the cheeks of his ass but the increased stimulation of his cock slipping over the bared rim brought ecstatic cries that grew fevered as he felt the soft drip of lube over the bared flesh**.

 

_Kakashi was so excited he was trembling!  Jiraiya's spreading Ibiki's cheeks looked so extremely arousing that his cock was rapidly flushing with need.  He took the lube and dripped it over the area hearing the loud moans of rapture his lovers gave as their slick flesh rubbed faster.   Kakashi whimpered at the temptation, he wanted to touch Ibiki so much!  He finally gave in to caressing his back, his eyes glued to the sight of his partners urgently thrusting against each other._

_The loud cries as they reached their climax and came were a tease, but not as greatly as the sight of Ibiki's entrance covered in Jiraiya's cum!  He shivered and clenched his hands against the urge to stroke his finger through the cum... to dip his head and lick it from his lover's ass...  He gave a longing whimper, both of his partners looked over and Kakashi nervously looked away.  Jiraiya said it was ok to ask but he couldn't, it would upset Ibiki.   Jiraiya gently caught his wrist drawing him down to kiss him.  "We want to know what you were wanting to do._ "

 

**Ibiki wasn't sure he really did want to know, the way his Saiai had been looking at his ass with such desire left him a bit uneasy.  He was certain Kakashi didn't want to fuck him, but it was a bit more difficult to believe when his beloved was aroused and looking so intently at his ass.**

**"Please tell us Myobu."  Jiraiya coaxed.  Kakashi's eyes held a hint of guilt, he shot a quick glance at Ibiki then met Jiraiya's eyes and replied, "I wanted to lick your cum off his ass."**

**Jiraiya looked a touch amused, but mainly thrilled at the idea, "Mmmm... Myobu... you are so sexy!"**

**Ibiki nodded, once again he'd totally misunderstood, and the idea of his lover wishing to lick their partner's cum from his ass did sound very arousing!**

 

Kakashi looked surprised and relieved, "I love watching you both thrusting against each other!"  Ibiki looked at Jiraiya and nodded.

 

 Jiraiya smiled at Kakashi and urged, "Lick him Myobu."

 

Kakashi's eyes filled with excitement and he slipped down, his warm tongue eagerly stroking over his partner's rim.  Ibiki gasped and moaned loudly, Jiraiya could feel the bob of his lover's cock as his sated body slowly grew aroused at the incredible stimulation.

 

Jiraiya's hands still cupped his ass, spreading the cheeks, Ibiki cried out and trembled in ecstasy as their lover's tongue lapped then softly probed his ass. 

 

Jiraiya felt the surprised jump of Ibiki's body and the rapid flush of his cock and knew his Myobu was now rimming their beloved, gently he encouraged, "Taste his body... listen to his moans at the feel of your tongue..."  Then teased his Koishii looking in his eyes and purring, "the hot stroke of your lover's mouth eagerly tasting you... the rapture of feeling the soft laps teasing just inside your body..."

 

_Kakashi was ecstatic as his lover's muscles relaxed further at Jiraiya's soft croon, his tongue now thrust into the tight hold and he curled the tip as he licked out before thrusting his tongue in again.  Ibiki was giving breath less fevered cries and he felt his muscles ripple, his lover crying out in rapture as he reached his climax.  Reluctantly he lifted his head, he should not tease Ibiki anymore, his beloved was exhausted.   As Ibiki shifted off their lover's body he caressed Kakashi's cheek and said, "I love you Saiai. Please don't be afraid to say what you desire, even if I cannot do it I will not be upset at you."_

_Kakashi slipped up to lay beside him and stroked his chest gently, "I don't want to hurt you, when the things I do bring you pleasure I am happy."_

 

**Ibiki smiled at his beautiful beloved, "When the things I do bring you pleasure I am happy, ask if I can't do it we can find another way to fill your desire."**

**Kakashi smiled, "I will."  Then looked at Jiraiya added,  "I love both of you so much."**

**His Saiai had no idea how stunning he was when he smiled, he would do everything he could to get that smile.**

 

Soon they rose, showered and made their meal, this touching each other and making love before going to eat was now the routine, they could not wait to touch each other at the end of the day.

 

==============================================

 

**Ibiki decided to leave a bit early, he had been aroused most of the day, he hadn't been able to get his mind off the cries his Saiai had given as he sucked on the head of his cock.  After finding such strong pleasure in sucking on his beloved's cock he want more... he wanted all of the pleasure he once had back and he was going to fight hard to get it.**

**When he walked into the house Jiraiya gave a delighted smile walking over to embrace him, then glanced down as he felt Ibiki's arousal pressed against him.  His lover's cock eagerly responded and Ibiki's fingers feathered over the swollen length.  His Koishii groaned, "Such a tease!"**

**Ibiki kissed Jiraiya's throat passionately, "Koishii I want to take you in my mouth... here.  I want to really suck your cock."**

 

Jiraiya was extremely aroused, but his partner's words sent a chill through him... Here... as in standing with his beloved knelt before him... while erect...  He tried his best to not react in alarm but he was sure his lover could see it.  "Why?"  The one word was more a plea than a question.

 

Ibiki caressed him, "With you I can try anything... you can handle my reactions and soothe me.  I'm tired of not being free to do anything I desire."

 

Jiraiya didn't attempt to hide his concern, "Do you desire this?  Is this something that is important to you?"

 

Ibiki cradled his face and kissed him tenderly, "Yes, I need my memories to be good ones and to leave the other memories in the past, not let them haunt me."

 

Jiraiya nuzzled him and softly replied, "Then I will be brave just like you my strong Koishii, we will face this together." 

 

Ibiki had knelt before him briefly several times,  but he'd not been aroused and he hadn't allowed his Koishii to remain after he'd began growing erect... he'd asked him to come up and kiss him.  The memories brought a greater conviction.  He was holding his partner back, it was possible Ibiki would already have taken this step if he hadn't stopped him, and his Myobu was not here so he would not become distressed if things did not go well.

 

Ibiki stroked down Jiraiya's body even after the fright of his lover's words his body was too excited to calm.  His beloved's hand enclosed and stroked his engorged length, Jiraiya gave a soft moan at his touch and Ibiki urged, "I need to hear you, to hear your pleasure... please."

 

Jiraiya gave in, crying out in passion at the exquisite sensations of his lover's hand on the hard flesh, "Koishii!  It feels so good!  I love your touch!"  Jiraiya knew it would be easier if his beloved was aroused and panted out between moans, "Yes, please Koishii... tease me!"

 

**Ibiki's cock throbbed at the seductive cries of his lover, "So sexy... Jiraiya you are so amazing!"  His hand circled and stroked the turgid length his other hand cupping his balls and brushing the sensitive strip of flesh between them and the tempting entrance to his partner's incredible body.**

**Jiraiya arched into his strokes giving fevered cries then a loud moan as his climax swept through him, his cock bucking in Ibiki's grasp.  Ibiki watched his lover's face as he panted at the strength of his orgasm.**

**Then his gaze slipped down to the damp head of Jiraiya's cock, he wanted this to go well, his Koishii was doing this for him.**

 

 Jiraiya took Ibiki's cum damp hand and sucked on his first finger bringing a loud groan from his beloved, he needed to keep him extremely aroused.  Jiraiya released his finger and guided his lover's damp hand  to trace down his chest to his pelvis.  Ibiki took the tease and licked and sucked the cum damp trail down to his cock, gradually sinking down to crouched before him.

 

Not only was that to arouse him but to slowly get him used to the taste of his cum so there would be no chance he would feel strong alarm as he licked his cock.  It was similar to the first time Ibiki had licked Kakashi's cum off his chest, a bridge to take some of the uncertainty away.

 

**Ibiki looked up into his Koishii's loving gaze then back to his damp flesh, he licked the soft head and felt a rush of excitement as Jiraiya gave a low moan.  The sound brought the urge to take the silky flesh in his mouth and feel it as he licked and sucked on it... he wanted to feel his lover's cock in his mouth, hear his beloved's cries of pleasure and he focused on only that, trying to tease louder urgent cries from his Koishii.  Although Jiraiya's cock was now erect he continued focusing on his attempt to get fevered wails of rapture from his partner, his hand cupping Jiraiya's balls**.

  

Jiraiya felt a spike of distress so strong that he nearly backed away, he prayed his precious lover would not take him in his throat... that was much too large a step!

 

But as his beloved teased him to his climax he did not take him in his throat, he released his cock from the damp heat of his mouth, and his hand enclosed and stroked it once more.

 

**Ibiki drew back as his lover came, and stroked his cock until he gave another buck.  Then shocked a cry of ecstasy from his beloved as he took his Koishii's cock in his mouth, sucking and stroking the length with his mouth until Jiraiya gave a gentle buck and a small jet of cum.  The feel of the soft buck was distressing, but he refused to think about anything but his lover and slipped up to kiss him passionately**. 

 

Jiraiya broke the kiss to gasp breaths, "Koishii!  I love you so much!  That was incredible, you wishing to touch me made everything so wonderful!" 

 

Jiraiya was breathless at the intensity of his orgasm, the anxiety had heightened the sensations and watching his beloved sucking his cock, mind blowing! 

 

**He needed to kiss him to feel his passion, he needed this to be nothing like his past, Ibiki pushed those thoughts away.  He placed kisses over his lover's throat and drew him into another deep kiss, one that Jiraiya did not draw back from but met with an equally strong passion, his mouth teasing Ibiki's tongue drawing softly and bringing urgent groans from him**. 

 

Jiraiya waited for his Koishii to break the kiss, he should not have drew back before, his beloved had needed his kiss .  Jiraiya worked on enticing him with skillful little darts against his lover's lips and felt a spike of pleasure as Ibiki welcomed his tongue into his mouth and teased it.  Jiraiya's hands brushed over his partner's back, tempting him until his beloved was softly bucking against him in need.

 

Ibiki drew back from the kiss, "Koishii I need to feel you, I need to feel your body."

 

Jiraiya nodded, helping strip his beloved, then lay on his back and moaned in delight as his partner covered him, thrusting into him and urgently fucking him. 

 

**Ibiki worried for a second that he was being too rough, he needed him so much!  But his beloved was giving rapturous cries, rocking into his thrusts and arching to take him deeper,  Ibiki moaned his lover was one of the most erotic men he'd ever met!  "Cup my hips Koishii!"**

 

Jiraiya understood his request and tilted his lover's hips to hit the perfect area inside him.  Then arching and howling in rapture as he rocked into the thrusts, teasing himself into multiple orgasms and hearing the cries of ecstasy from his beloved as his body drew on his cock until both lay sated and exhausted on the bed.  Jiraiya stroked his face, "How could I ever have been so blessed to get such an extraordinary man.  You amaze me more with every day my precious one."

 

**Ibiki replied, "Koishii you deserve me and so much more, Kakashi and I are blessed to have you."  He was going to have Jiraiya keep guiding his hips until he could hit their pleasure spots without help, he wanted to always give both his lover's the most pleasure he could.**

 

After several minutes of remaining with Ibiki's sated length in him and his body covering him Jiraiya had a much greater understanding of what his Myobu had craved.  Ibiki and he had considerably more mass to them than Kakashi and they rarely remained covering him, he was missing out on the moments of pleasure that came from just remaining embraced and feeling the contentment of their sated bodies.

 

After a shower and meal they returned to the bedroom and lay holding each other until they grew tired, then Jiraiya slipped from Ibiki's bed and they slept peacefully.  Ibiki's dreams were becoming less frequent now, further proof his Koishii was healing the 'wounds' from the terrible abuse he'd suffered.  They'd probably never be completely gone, but they would continue handling them together.

 

==========================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 32**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 32: SOMETHING BETTER (DEFUELD)


	33. SOMETHING DIFFERENT (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 33)

**SOMETHING DIFFERENT (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 33)**

**=========================================**

 

Jiraiya and Kakashi continued visiting the bath house, but Jiraiya was beginning to suspect they'd never actually be able to go when others were present... neither could keep their hands off the others bare body.  Still it added an interesting twist to the concept of 'relaxing at the bath house'... he'd have to see if he could work it into a novel somewhere.

 

This attempt at going to the 'public' bath house was no exception.  Once in the water, Jiraiya began to feather light brushes over his beloved's engorged cock, his partner was irresistible. 

 

His lover arched into his touch and mewed.   Jiraiya drew him up to sit on his lap, facing away and his Myobu lay back against his chest as his fingers continued teasing his beloved's erection.  When Kakashi was breathlessly moaning and squirming on his lap, Jiraiya's hands returned to cup his partner's narrow hips and lifted his provocative lover up over his turgid length.  Kakashi gave a ecstatic cry as he carefully lowered him down on it.

 

_It felt so good!  Kakashi whimpered in need at the feel of his lover's wide head pushing slowly into his body, but that tremendous tease was nothing compared to the feel of Jiraiya's arousal rubbing over the front of his passage as he lowered him.  Kakashi gasped and gave a wanton cry as his partner's cock continued grazing over his pleasure spot.  Jiraiya paused, held him tightly against his chest  and placed his palm on his pelvis pressing gently as he rocked his hips to rub over the area a few more times._

_Kakashi panted, his urge to cum nearly overwhelming between the soft stroke of water over his cock and the feel of his beloved's erection gliding over that perfect place inside him.  Jiraiya gradually lowered him until he was at the base and purred, "Sweet Myobu... you feel so good."_

_Kakashi couldn't speak his body trembled in need, he took Jiraiya's hand and brought it to his cock.  His lover understood what he wanted and his thumb rested pressed at the base, stopping him from cumming as the tease escalated.  Jiraiya's other hand brushed over the swollen length and caressed his balls, until Kakashi writhed in pleasure crying out passionately and fevered with need._

 

Jiraiya was teasing himself as much as his beloved, the tight hold and powerful contractions of his partner's passage around his cock tempted him greatly and his lover's cries of passion were an even greater tease! 

 

After a few minutes Jiraiya groaned lifting the exquisite body off his aching flesh,  set him on the edge outside the water.  His thumb remained blocking his lover's release as his mouth drew on the swollen head of his beloved's cock then gently probed the slit with his tongue, enjoying his partner's breathless moans.  When Jiraiya freed his lover's cock it was turgid with need, the tip flushed red and Kakashi was so aroused he just shivered and whimpered between rapid pants.

 

Jiraiya blew softly over the engorged flesh, Kakashi gasped at the tease, then cried out as Jiraiya once more dipped his head to take the erotic man's cock into the hot moist enclosure of his mouth.  He sucked the rigid length as Kakashi came, then continued flicking his tongue over the over sensitive head of his cock.   Slowly drawing back to suck firmly on the head once more, drawing more blood to the swollen tip and again teasing it with light flutters of his tongue until his lover howled and arched into his mouth as he came again.

 

Jiraiya rose and cradled his exhausted partner in his arms.  "You're so sexy.  I think we are done here, lets grab our clothes and I'll bring us back to the house."

 

_Kakashi nodded, his heart still racing at the long tease and powerful orgasm.   He was beginning to like the bath house a lot, although he didn't think they were using it the same as the other people did._

 

=====================================

==============

 

**As Ibiki sat at work with his finished paperwork before him he dwelled on one of his many problems.  He hadn't been able to get the memory of Jiraiya's cock in Kakashi out of his mind, and last night's anxiety about 'pinning' his Saiai was proof it was not a problem that would just go away... they needed to work on his limits more... he had the afternoon free, no reports would be coming in until later that day he could take a 'long lunch'**.

 

\--------------------------

 

**Jiraiya looked up in surprised pleasure as he walked in the door, "Koishii."**

**When his lover walked over to kiss him, Ibiki deepened the kiss and slipped his hands beneath his partner's shirt, stroking lightly over the warm soft skin.  When he drew back he stated, "I want your touch Jiraiya."**

**Jiraiya tenderly kissed his face, "Gladly Koishii I will give you anything you want."**

**What he wanted... Well, he couldn't really say he wanted it, but he needed to work on accepting Jiraiya's fingers... and eventually his cock... that thought did not help with his strong anxiety.**

 

Ibiki sounded a bit uncertain as he stated, "I want to feel your fingers inside me, teasing my body."

 

Jiraiya nodded and led his beloved into the bedroom and kissed his lover's body as he undressed him.  His Koishii caressed him as Jiraiya removed his own clothes and lay on the bed on his back, he didn't miss the flash of uncertainty that showed in his partner's gaze for a moment, then Ibiki covered him.

 

**The idea of being touched was disturbing, but what was even more disturbing was that he'd started to enjoy it and now he was feeling anxiety about it again.  Was he really even making progress?  Every time he felt he was, something brought anxiety once more and he lost the progress.  He was determined he would not lose this, he could push past this anxiety.**

**Jiraiya massaged his back gently and Ibiki felt his stress melt away, he loved his lover's touch, it brought pleasure.  They kissed as the soothing caress moved down to his lower back, Ibiki groaned in delight, "Your hands feel wonderful Koishii!"**

**Jiraiya smiled, "I am glad I can give you this pleasure, I only want to bring you pleasure Koishii."**

**Ibiki resumed kissing him passionately even as he felt the enticing knead of his lover's hands on his ass, it felt good, not distressing.**

 

Jiraiya drew lube as his fingers traced the part of his lover's ass.  He felt no tension from him, Ibiki seemed to be enjoying his touch, but he had not forgotten the way he'd been hesitant to ask for him to touch him inside and watched his face for any sign he was growing uneasy.

 

His finger slipped between the firm cheeks and he lightly feathered over the highly sensitive area.  Ibiki still did not look uneasy only very aroused, he broke their kiss to moan and place tender kisses over Jiraiya's shoulders and throat.  His breathing rough with his growing need. 

 

Jiraiya brushed chakra waves over his beloved's rim and his lover pressed down taking his finger inside with a delighted cry.  Perhaps he'd been wrong... Ibiki did not seem reluctant at all.

 

**Jiraiya's finger stroked very softly into him.  Soon Ibiki was rocking into it moaning at the wonderful sensation.   His Koishii slipped his finger out and placed two at his entrance, circling lightly and sending a teasing pulse of chakra through them to play over the area.  Ibiki groaned and pushed down into them, as they sank slowly in, his heart drummed hard and he knew it was in anxiety.   Still as the thrilling waves of chakra hummed inside him, it tempted him into faster rocks, as he rocked into his lover's touch the pulses of chakra steadily climbed until he was panting and moaning.**

**Then his partner's fingers slipped out and he felt three fingers softly brushing his entrance, the feel of the thickness that would press into him sent a spike of panic through him and he drew a deep breath closing his eyes and trying to deny his quickly escalating distress**.

 

No, he had not been wrong, his beloved was afraid.  Jiraiya's fingers dropped away, "Koishii... if you do not want them inside do not make yourself do it."

 

Ibiki opened his eyes and looked seriously at him, "Tease me with them, please just tease." 

 

Jiraiya nodded, this had a good chance of causing him further distress but he would not deny him.  Ibiki looked very anxious, something was bothering him, this was not the time to do this.  He needed to soothe his beloved until he could talk about what was distressing him.

 

But he did as his Koishii asked, dampening his three fingers well he returned to stroking and sending teasing chakra pulses over his lover's sensitive rim.  Ibiki rocked his hips rubbing against them and Jiraiya's fingers stilled.

 

**The exquisite pulses continued and Ibiki began rocking his hips faster against the pleasure.   He remembered the way the chakra felt deep inside him, he wanted it and yet it was very  difficult to face taking the gathered width in without being so fevered with need that he could not think about what he would do.**

**He felt Jiraiya's fingers begin to move away again, he could force himself past this, he wouldn't lose the progress they'd made.  He just needed to try harder, "Koishii... I want this so much, it frustrates when I can't do these things, please just keep them there let me keep trying.** " 

 

Jiraiya nodded, this was really important to his beloved, his three fingers would remain but he was going to try to do something more to help his lover's body want them.  Jiraiya's other hand slipped down to tease his partner's ass with a soft hum of chakra... but the fingers that would go inside gave a stronger steady pulse.  Ibiki's hips bucked at the strong tease, then pressed back against the gathered fingers.

 

"Imagine that strong pulse flowing up inside your body, bringing waves of pleasure..." Jiraiya purred, "can you feel it..." 

 

**He wasn't sure at this point which was stronger his frustration or his anxiety.  Ibiki pushed back firmer and the rhetorical question was answered... panting as he resisted clenching down in denial, he finally gave in to the powerful surges of distress and just drew away, "I can't, I want to but... I think it's too much, I'm trying not to resist and..."**

 

Jiraiya eyes widened and his hand dropped away, "No, Koishii!  No, you have every right to refuse, if your body does not want them it is ok to accept that.  It is not healthy to think of this as trying not to resist them.  Let your body accept or not... I promise the time will come when your body will welcome the stimulation, but remember always that this is supposed to bring your body pleasure not something you need to try to endure."  Jiraiya brushed his cheek gently, "Please talk to me."

 

Ibiki kissed him then responded, "I just can't accept it, not right now... Jiraiya, I'm not sure I will ever be able to watch you fuck Kakashi on his stomach.  The idea of you fucking him, of him trapped beneath you... it's horrifying."

 

Jiraiya nodded.  "The fact I was in him as I covered him caused you distress.  I did not fuck him like that Koishii, we lay on our sides.  Like when we are laying and I rock against you from behind."

 

Jiraiya placed kisses over his face as he soothed his beloved, his hand tenderly stroking his upper back, as he confirmed, "So it wasn't really that I was covering him as much as that I was on top of him when I was still in him..." 

 

He should not have done that, sometimes it was difficult to balance filling the desires of his Myobu with trying not to cause his Koishii distress... it had been getting easier as Ibiki's restrictions fell away, but this was completely understandable.  It had reminded his beloved of his past and right now the feel of something pushing into his body felt 'threatening', he couldn't relax and accept the pleasure with that haunting him.    "We do not want to distress you, we can simply not do things like that or try to be sure it's not around you." 

 

**Ibiki didn't want to have them restricted from doing things they wished and he didn't want this to be a problem, but it was.  He sighed softly, "Another issue, every time we solve one another shows up."**

**Jiraiya stroked his throat and gently smiled, "Think of it as climbing a ladder, we pass difficult things and they are behind us.  Even if we find more difficulties ahead we will get past them and they too will be behind us.  Koishii, even with these difficulties that are there, we can get over them.  We are getting close to the top.  It's been a long climb, but one I am so proud of you for making, you are so strong.  Do not let anything make you lose hope."**

**Ibiki smiled, "You are incredible.  You and Kakashi are what keeps me looking for the 'top' and trying to reach it."  His smile faded as he made a decision, "Koishii, I have to work to overcome this... I think you need to cover me like you did Kakashi."  He wanted to add 'without your cock being inside me' but that went without saying, his lover would not do that.**

 

Jiraiya could see the distress in his partner's eyes and shook his head, "Trust in me Koishii, that is not the way.  Can you trust me?"

 

Ibiki looked at him seriously, "I trust you."

 

Jiraiya kissed him, "Will you lay on your side and let me feel your body against mine?"

 

**Ibiki nodded, he moved off his beloved, but felt a momentary chill when Jiraiya urged him to face away, to lay with his back against his lover's chest.  After a moment he relaxed, this was not alarming they'd done this before, it felt good.  Feeling his Koishii position his erection between his legs brought a wave of excitement.**

**Jiraiya's fingers feathered light chakra pulses over Ibiki's cock teasing him until he was thrusting forward into his hand, every rock of his hips as he thrust into his lover's hand, stroked Jiraiya's swollen length and it did not take long for both men to reach their orgasm.**

 

Now that their needs were satisfied, he could start working on the problem gradually with Ibiki.  Jiraiya's sated cock lay between his partner's thighs, as he leaned forward to kiss his beloved's face he encouraged, "Tell me where to stop, it should be when you first start to feel anxiety."

 

**Ibiki nodded, as Jiraiya's body shifted so he could kiss more of his face, his body was pressed to Ibiki's pushing him over slightly onto his stomach.  Ibiki found he could bear more than he'd thought, although partner was only partly covering him, he was nearly on his stomach when he said, "Stop."**

**Jiraiya kissed his way back over his throat to the back of his neck, his weight easing back, even without the weight Ibiki was reluctant to roll back onto his side.  His Koishii's kisses had turned to soft licks, and the tip of his tongue traced the sensitive scar tissue.  Ibiki moaned, it felt so good!  As his lover's mouth traveled across his back, Ibiki shifted more onto his stomach to feel the wonderful sensations continue over to the other side.**

**Jiraiya's teasing licks traveled up to his shoulder trailed over the scars of his neck, Ibiki groaned his body remained too sated to become aroused, but it still felt incredible!  His beloved's sated flesh lay against him, it felt familiar not threatening even though his body was now angled far forward.  As his lover leaned forward to continue the tease his body almost completely covered him.  Then Jiraiya began rolling back onto his side, Ibiki felt very little hesitation as he asked, "Koishii please stay." He could do this**.

 

Jiraiya was surprised but remained partly covering his beloved kissing his back and neck.  He was so proud of his Koishii as he continued rolling onto his stomach, Jiraiya didn't move, didn't try to cover him any more than he was, only tenderly stroked and kissed his back.

 

**Ibiki lay on his stomach although it made him a bit uneasy, the strokes of his back were very familiar.  As he and Jiraiya fucked his Koishii caressed him like this... the kisses were like when his partner was cupping him from behind while standing... without knowing it they'd been working on this all along.**

**Although Jiraiya's body did not completely cover him he now believed it was possible some day soon it would not cause fear... anxiety for a while but not fear.  Ibiki rolled back to his side feeling lover's body shift to once more lay cupping his.**

**Ibiki looked back, "I can get over this difficulty, I'm further than I thought I was... I can reach the top, with you and Kakashi's love I can get there."**

**Jiraiya kissed him.  "Yes, my strong Koishii."**

**He was very grateful for his lovers, Kakashi 's gentle understanding nature, the acceptance he showed even when there was problems or he was denied the things he desired... and Jiraiya was his anchor, the one who showed him that he was making progress and found ways for him to reach beyond his limits.  It was so easy to over look all the things he'd gained, so much had changed that he couldn't even remember some of the small things that once cause him fear, he had so much more freedom now.  Yes, they still had major obstacles to work through, but just thinking of all he'd gained brought him joy.**

**The two men remained laying together a few blissful minutes, then rose and went to shower.  As they walked into the shower Ibiki turned and lay back against his lover.  It felt good, he liked the feel of his Koishii and he knew this pleasure had been denied to him in the beginning.  Now he couldn't imagine not having the enjoyment it brought.  Ibiki stepped away lathered his hands and began washing Jiraiya, he dropped down to wash his beloved's legs.**

 

Jiraiya could see the joy on Ibiki's face at the freedom he had to do it, to just concentrate on the feel of his lover under his hands and not feel fear.

 

Ibiki rose, "If you and Kakashi wish to have sex like that then do, even if I'm there, if I find it too distressing I will leave the room, but I don't want you to have to deny our partner something he desires."

 

Jiraiya nodded and placed a kiss on his cheek, it was unlikely he'd have sex with their lover like that, it would hurt him.

 

\-----------------------

 

**After showering and dressing Ibiki returned to work, his partners would come walk with him at the end of the day just like always.  He was very relieved to find his thoughts clear and focused once more, the knowledge that Jiraiya had been in their lover as he covered him brought a hint of discomfort, but nothing like the terrible anxiety he'd had before.  He'd felt Jiraiya 'cover him' many times, embracing him from behind it was not something to dwell on, he could handle these things**.

 

====================

 

When his Myobu walked in Jiraiya greeted him with a passionate kiss that was enthusiastically met and returned.  He stripped away his gorgeous lover's clothes, kissing every new area he'd exposed until his beloved was bare, his hands stroked over the sensual man's body, enjoying every inch of his partner.

 

_Kakashi whimpered softly in need but he did not want Jiraiya to stop, yes he was very aroused but these caresses felt so incredible he wanted to feel them everywhere!  Every tender caress was more than sexual, although very arousing, his partner's touch was so loving... he needed that so much._

 

Jiraiya felt his beloved trembling beneath his hands and took his hand drawing him into the bedroom, then stripped with help from his exited lover.  When Jiraiya lay him down on the bed, he kissed his way down to lay between his seductive Myobu's legs, licking and sucked on the sensitive area.  Kakashi gave needy mews as Jiraiya mouth slipped down to lick the tender entrance to his body.  Teasing the tight muscles as they eagerly loosened for him, his tongue gave soft thrusts into the enticing grasp of his partner's body. 

 

Jiraiya smiled at his sexy lover as he slid up to beside him, encouraged Kakashi to roll onto his side and cupped the slender frame with his. 

 

_Kakashi was thrilled!  His lover was going to fuck him like this, just like he had last time!  Jiraiya's damp finger pushed slowly into the depths of his body, it felt like it reached so much deeper in this position... he rapidly loosened his muscles and pleaded to feel two of his beloved's long fingers inside him.  "More please!  I need you!"_  

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh and slipped the finger out, pressing two in, and purred in his lover's ear, "I love to hear your fevered pleas... so sexy."  Kakashi gasped in delight at his partner's warm breath feathering over his ear.

 

_Yes, they definitely sank deeper in this position... the wonderful sensation of them thrusting into the depths of his body brought a powerful longing.  He wanted Jiraiya in him, to feel his cock sinking deep, filling his body with the rigid length!_

_Kakashi gasped then moaned ecstatically as his partner's fingers slipped out and the skilled lover placed his top leg over his fore arm lifting and fully baring his slick entrance.  Jiraiya carefully pushed in, the feel of his huge cock sinking in brought delighted cries._

_The gradual stretch of Jiraiya's cock filling him was almost enough to make him cum!  As his lover's full length came to rest filling him, the experienced man circled his hips and gave very slow gentle thrusts.  After the tease of being prepared Kakashi was struggling against his need to cum, he didn't want to lose this pleasure... not even for the ecstasy of an orgasm!  But when his beloved began placing kisses over his neck, the temptation was too great and he begged, "Please cum in me!_ "

 

 Jiraiya teased his beautiful Myobu's erection, lightly stroking the engorged length, then traced a light hum of chakra down the shaft over his balls to under and teased the tender strip of skin back to his lover's entrance.  Kakashi's enticing lips were parted in fevered cries of need.

 

 Kakashi he gave a loud moan as he came, Jiraiya groaned as the tightly clamped muscles contracted around his cock and gave a soft buck, then remained deep leaving the draw of his lover's body sate his need as he released his partner's leg to rest with the other. 

 

Kakashi was still quivering in pleasure, laying on their sides and Jiraiya cupping him as he fucked him felt amazing!  He still thought about how it had felt to have his beloved covering him, his sated flesh deep in his body as he placed kisses over his back.  "I want to feel you... your body cover me."

 

Jiraiya wasn't surprised that his Myobu wanted it, he'd wanted it for a very long time and had been refused.  Ibiki wanted him to continue to do the things their lover desired, and it helped that he was sure his Koishii would not be coming home early.  Jiraiya nodded and kissed his shoulder lovingly, "My precious one."

 

Although he was not really aroused he was still semi erect just at the feel of his lover's tight body grasping him, he would need to be careful not to place too much weight on him.  As he rolled to place his slender partner beneath him he felt his cock sink a bit further into his beloved's tight body, Kakashi's breath hitched softly. 

 

Jiraiya watched him intently, but he saw no pain in his expression.  Kakashi lay relaxed beneath him but he could feel by the way his lover was breathing that he was growing aroused... still his cherished Kitsune lay quietly and did not seek stimulation, just accepted the longed for feel of Jiraiya's body covering his.

 

His beloved was so accepting, his gorgeous partner always putting aside the things he wanted and accepting what he was given.

 

_Jiraiya placed adoring kisses over his back, they felt so good.  He could not to ask for more, this alone, having his lover cover him was a pleasure he'd desired for a long time and he would not risk losing it.  Kakashi gave a startled cry of pleasure as Jiraiya shifted his hips... he needed to calm himself, his beloved would not have sex with him like this... now that he'd felt that soft rock it would be very difficult not to ask for more, but he could not ask._

 

Jiraiya heard his lover's excited cry but hesitated, then concluded, he wasn't erect... it should not hurt him.  Jiraiya shifted his hips again and Kakashi moaned quietly.  As he began gently rocking his hips, his Myobu gave a low moan, his voice very quiet as if he thought it would make Jiraiya stop, "That feels so good."

 

Jiraiya continued very cautiously rocking, moving his cock slightly in the tight hold, his beloved's cries of ecstasy were so sweet and it slowly teased him hard.  Jiraiya kissed the rim of his ear, "You must tell me if you feel any pain."

 

Kakashi whimpered in delight, then a bit breathlessly he promised, "I will not let you hurt me."

 

Jiraiya slowly circled his hips and heard his enticing partner's moans, his body trembling in excitement.  He kept gently rocking and circling his hips until Kakashi was giving loud urgent cries.  Then his beloved begged, "I want to be on your lap!  I want to feel you cum in me!" 

 

His precious lover's words brought a surge of love, his Myobu understood in this position did not sate his body, it was not possible for Jiraiya to actually thrust into him like that and once more gave a solution to bring them both pleasure.

 

Jiraiya withdrew and sat, his sexy lover quickly straddled him taking his cock into the tight heat of his body again, but remained on his knees and only took him in halfway as he pleaded, "Fuck me!  I want you please!"

 

Jiraiya groaned, enclosing him firmly in his arms and placing fevered kisses over his extraordinary partner's shoulders as he rapidly bucked up into the amazing hot grasp of his beloved.  His Myobu's cries of delight were too exciting to resist and he bucked  cumming then moaning in ecstasy as he came again before he dropped Kakashi to the base and rocked his semi erect length in him, his hand enclosing and teasing his lover's cock until his beloved arched and cried out in rapture as he reached his climax.

 

_Jiraiya had moved while fully within him!  That always brought a very strong orgasm, the excitement of knowing his lover was buried within him.  His beloved had done this for him, trusted him... it was so incredible, his partner was always afraid of hurting him but he'd trusted him!  He loved Jiraiya so very much, Kakashi lay forward with his arms wrapped around his partner.  He could not be happier than he was when with his lovers, all the years of loneliness melted away and he felt protected and loved.  He sighed happily, "I love you Jiraiya."_

 

Jiraiya smiled his beloved was so very seductive with his cheeks flushed and his soft lips parted in ecstasy.  Jiraiya cupped his face and kissed him tenderly, "I love you my precious Kitsune."

  

Jiraiya cradled his lover to him and stroked his back as he thought about what they'd done, he hadn't thought it was possible to have sex with his small partner like that... Kakashi was becoming more experienced, his body accepted more now.  Things that would have once brought him a great deal of pain in the beginning were now able to be done, although carefully.  He'd never had a lover stay with him so long and it was a surprise that he was starting not to have to be as cautious.  It helped ease his concerns that he had a level of trust in his Myobu that far exceeded the level of trust he'd had with any of his Angels or Companions.   He'd always need to be careful, but that was something that was natural for him.  Jiraiya smiled down at his beloved, he was so blessed to have two such amazing men as partners.

 

=================

 

Ibiki looked up as his lovers walked into his office, it was time to walk home... home, the word felt so warm and comforting.  He hadn't had a home before, only a house.  Then Jiraiya and Kakashi came into his life, now it was truly a home, a place of love.  Ibiki kissed Jiraiya and gathered their sensual lover in his arms, then smiled as he smelled the scent of soap on his Saiai's skin.  It was not unusual and yet it brought him happiness to know his partners had each other even when he couldn't be there.

 

The walk home was filled with surprises, both good and bad, Ibiki was amazed as Kakashi slipped his hand into his before they had even left the busy market section of the village.  It was brief but meant so much.  "Thank you my precious Saiai."

 

Kakashi looked up for a moment there was unguarded emotion in his eye, love, very softly he replied, "I love you."  The emotion was swept away as a distracted nin almost bumped into him, the man reached out to catch himself...

 

_Kakashi was stunned as Jiraiya appeared between the man and himself, the nin's hand landing on Jiraiya's arm to steady himself.   Kakashi watched them as he shifted a bit further away and stood beside Ibiki._

_"Oh!  I'm so sorry I really just wasn't watching where I was going!"  The Shinobi , released Jiraiya's arm looking very apologetic._

_Jiraiya smiled kindly, "It's ok, are you alright?"_

_The nin nodded and laughed, "Thanks, I'm fine... wouldn't have been if I'd run into Kakashi!"_

_Jiraiya's gaze turned cold, his smile faded, "No, I would have been very unhappy."  Then Jiraiya's friendly smile returned, "I'm glad you are alright."_

_The young man looked a bit uneasy and nodded, "Thank you, I need to be going."_

 

Jiraiya nodded and resumed walking with his lovers, he was uncomfortable with how he'd reacted to the Chuunin's comment  about running into Kakashi.  The hostility he'd felt was disturbing, it had been an accident, not something the nin had done intentionally...

 

**Ibiki looked over at Jiraiya, he looked lost in thought.  Ibiki knew his gentle partner, he was bothered by the man's words... and his own reaction to them.  Jiraiya was a very kind man, but his need to protect the ones he loved was very strong.  He was glad his Koishii had saw the nin in time, this could have 'damaged' the progress Kakashi was making towards relaxing his guard in public**.

 

_Kakashi looked at Jiraiya, then took his hand.  When Jiraiya looked down his eyes were filled with love, "Myobu, I am ok."_

_Kakashi nodded but didn't release his hand for a few more moments.  Jiraiya had saw the man stumble and instantly placed himself between them... his beloved had known it would be upsetting and protected him... he moved so quickly!  His partner was holding back a great deal when they sparred... the idea was not disturbing, in fact it made him happy, as he grew stronger Jiraiya would always continue to be a challenge_.

 

Jiraiya smiled, there was no harm done.  Ibiki gave him a loving smile, yes, everything was just fine.  When they walked in the door Jiraiya was surprised as both his lovers began removing his clothes kissing his body tenderly. 

 

**Jiraiya constantly reminded him how extraordinary he was and how lucky he was that he hadn't lost this amazing man's love.**

**"You protected me..."  Kakashi smiled cuddling against Jiraiya.**

**Jiraiya kissed him and drew Ibiki into his arms as well as he replied, "I will always protect both of you."**

**Ibiki caressed his cheek, "We know and we will protect you."**

**The legendary Sannin could easily protect himself and did not truly need protection.  What could have taken as a humorous comment by another was taken very seriously by Jiraiya**. 

 

"Thank you, my Koishii and Myobu, you are everything to me."  Their vow to protect him meant so much, they held his heart for now and always.  They would not leave him, they would remain to support him and fill his life with joy.

 

_They had completely bared their lover's body and Kakashi made no effort to resist stroking Jiraiya's wonderful erection as he looked up to watch his partner's face, then over at Ibiki.  "I want to watch you fuck Jiraiya."_

_He loved the sounds of their moans and cries, they aroused him very much!  He loved watching their extraordinary bodies, they way Ibiki's muscles flexed and the sight of his cock pumping into their lover._

_Kakashi drew back and the three men went into the bedroom.  As Kakashi stripped, he watched Jiraiya's experienced strokes over Ibiki's body strip the clothing away until both men were bare.  Ibiki slowly  caressed Jiraiya, his hands slipping down to his pelvis and Kakashi was surprised by the interest Ibiki showed in Jiraiya's erection.  He didn't look distressed or reluctant in fact he seemed to be very aroused by the way their partner's cock gave a little jump and flushed harder at his touch.  Everything they did was always so exciting and both his lover were... "So sexy."_

 

Ibiki and Jiraiya looked over at Kakashi's statement, but it was clear their lover was enjoying watching them and so they continued.  Jiraiya teased his Koishii's body with light strokes as his hand slowly moved down to fondle his cock.  When he lay on the bed, Jiraiya drew his lover down over him, nuzzled his beloved's throat and moaned, "I love feeling your cock... against me... in my mouth... but most of all, inside me."

 

Ibiki gave him a soft kiss, "I agree with Kakashi... so sexy."

 

Jiraiya brought his legs up to bent and groaned in delight as his beloved pressed into his body, but his Koishii did not fuck him.  Ibiki circled his hips teasing him and enjoying listening to his gasps and deep moans .  Jiraiya caressed his back tenderly as his partner began to slowly move within him. 

 

_Kakashi had sat on the bed and gave an excited shiver, he loved watching his lovers... he wanted to touch Ibiki, to stroke over his ass... maybe Jiraiya would finger him after.  Kakashi placed the lube beside Jiraiya's hip and returned to watching Ibiki's cock thrusting into Jiraiya's body_.

 

Jiraiya felt the lube placed beside him and it brought an idea, he wasn't sure how his Koishii would react, but his beloved wanted them to do the things they desired.  He dampened his finger and stroked down to his partner's ass, slipped the slick digit between his lover's firm cheeks and rested it lightly against his rim, sending a low hum of chakra playing over the area. 

 

**As Ibiki fucked him his Koishii's finger brushed over the entrance to his body.  He had seen Kakashi place the lube by Jiraiya's thigh and was not surprised as much as uneasy as his partner's damp finger stroked over the sensitive area.  It felt good, a bit hesitantly he pressed back and took his beloved's finger in, with every thrust of his hips as he fucked Jiraiya, his lover's finger fucked him... the feel of it was so amazing that his need swiftly over came any doubt.  He rocked faster, moaning loudly as he reached his climax, he felt the finger continuing to stroke and the incredible stimulation brought another firm buck**.  **Even the feel of it slipping out, the chakra teasing his rim, felt good**. 

 

Jiraiya had wanted to bring his Koishii strong pleasure, remind his body of the ecstasy that came with feeling something moving inside him... it had worked very well.  Ibiki had enjoyed it greatly, as did their lover, Kakashi's eyes were dark with desire as they lifted from watching Jiraiya's finger and his cock wept precum down the swollen length.

 

**Ibiki rose off Jiraiya, his eyes dropped to his Saiai's erection again, his finger traced over the swollen head and Kakashi whimpered at the rush of need he felt.  Ibiki looked at Jiraiya, he'd rolled onto his side and was watching them**.

 

He had intended to take his Myobu in his mouth but when he saw his Koishii's interest in their lover's cock he decided to wait for a moment, he wanted to see what Ibiki would do.  The interest his beloved had shown when touching his cock earlier was promising.

 

**Ibiki thought about how taking his Koishii in his mouth brought loud exciting cries of ecstasy from his lover, he wanted those cries from his Saiai.  He wasn't certain he could do this without strong anxiety, but he wanted to very much so he was going to try to do it.  If it caused him distress and his Saiai got upset by his reaction, Jiraiya could handle it.**

**The hint of anxiety he felt right now was minimal enough that he could ignore it.  Ibiki urged his beloved to lay down.  Kakashi looked a touch uneasy but not greatly, and all Ibiki's hesitation disappeared at his lover's fevered cry of pleasure at the first soft swipe of his tongue.  His Saiai was so sexy!**

**As Ibiki caressed his lover's engorged length he cried out in ecstasy.  The sounds were so arousing that all thought but tempting more fevered cries from his beloved were swept away.  Ibiki released his cock and watched his Saiai's face as he gave rapturous moans.**

 

Jiraiya lay beside Kakashi teasing his nipples and urged Ibiki, "Tease him more, don't let him cum yet..."  This had two purposes, first his Myobu loved it but also, his Koishii would feel more confident and enjoy it more if all 'threat' of his lover cumming was removed.

 

Kakashi looked over at Jiraiya and shivered in delight at his partner's words, then at Ibiki and gasped. "Please!"

 

**Ibiki gladly placed his thumb at the base blocking his seductive lover's release and resumed teasing him with his mouth.  Kakashi writhed at the extreme pleasure and he gently pinned his Saiai's hip as he continued sucking and stroking his tongue over the turgid flesh, he was delighted as he listened to the cries of ecstasy from his beloved and sat back watching his beautiful Saiai's face again.  Unable to writhe his partner grabbed handfuls of the sheet tightly, his eyes squeezed closed at the intensity as he gave fevered howls of lust.**

**Ibiki lifted his thumb allowing his release and let go of his hip, Kakashi arched up wailing in rapture as his cock jumped in powerful spasms of pleasure as he reached his urgently desired orgasm, then collapsed, breathless and exhausted on the bed.  Ibiki slipped up to cradle him, his cheeks were flushed and his hair damp with sweat.  "Saiai you are so amazing!"**

**Ibiki brushed his lips over his panting lover's and heard his soft mew.  Ibiki drew back and laughed, "So sexy."**

 

Jiraiya watched the two and smiled, this had went very well.

 

===============================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 33**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 33: SOMETHING DIFFERENT (GODSMACK)


	34. BITTERSWEET MEMORIES (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 34)

**BITTERSWEET MEMORIES (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 34)**

 

================

 

Ibiki had knelt before him and gave him oral sex a few times and seemed to be slowly becoming more used to feeling him in his mouth, but Jiraiya was still surprised when his beloved asked...

 

"Koishii, I want to try to take you in my throat."  From the serious intensity of his gaze it was clear Ibiki knew this would be difficult but he really did wish to try.

 

His partner's request should have been expected and yet it wasn't, Jiraiya was not sure if it was a 'good' idea.  Kakashi was on a mission, so it would not cause him distress, but...

 

Jiraiya brushed away his distress at the thought and focused on his lover, not what he wished to do.  He kissed his beloved tenderly and then replied gently, "It is too soon Koishii, I do not think it is time yet."  He stroked his partner's back and asked the question that would decide if he should try.  "When you take me in your mouth, do you feel anxiety?  Uncertain... when my hips buck do you still feel a chill?"

 

**Ibiki nodded, he kissed his lover thankfully.  Jiraiya was right, it was too soon... and yet he desired it greatly.  His hand slid down to caress his partner's cock and Jiraiya moaned, "Koishii, that feels wonderful."**

**Ibiki looked from his Koishii's loving eyes down to his erection then up to meet his eyes.  His beloved's eyes held encouragement, he was accepting that he wished to kneel before him again. Ibiki wanted those memories gone most of all... he wanted to remember only his lover's cries of passion as he felt his partner's cock in his mouth.**

**Jiraiya was erect, this time he wanted to take him in his mouth without bringing him release first.  His beloved caressed his cheek, Ibiki could see understanding and acceptance in his Koishii's adoring gaze.   He was about to kneel when Jiraiya asked, "Please touch me.  Let me feel your hands stroking my body, bringing me pleasure with your touch."**

**Ibiki caressed his lover's exceptional body stroking over his chest and teasing his nipples as he gave soft delighted moans.  Ibiki felt a thrill at the sound and the feel of his beloved's body under his hands felt so familiar.**

**Jiraiya didn't want him to kneel before him like he was servicing him... every time he took his Koishii in his mouth, his beloved would subtly reminded him that his should be part of enjoying each other's bodies.  The tension that Ibiki hadn't realized he'd felt now seeped away, this was making love... giving pleasure and receiving it.   Jiraiya's hands massaged his back and shoulders, loving soothing caresses that helped keep him focused on the present, not the past .**  

**Ibiki's hand slowly stroked over his lover's pelvis and he began kissing Jiraiya's chest as he slipped down to tease his cock, gently brushing over his balls and inner thighs and hearing his Koishii's delighted cries as his hand glided over his sensitive skin.**

**Jiraiya gave a low groan as Ibiki's fingers traced up his erection and panted out ecstatic cries as he licked the swollen head.  He watched Jiraiya's face and enjoyed the sight of his lover's pleasure, and did what his Koishii had often done to him and Kakashi, placing soft sucks and kisses over his arousal and teasing the turgid flesh with strokes of his tongue until he was getting fevered howls of need.  Then covered the swollen length and slipped down, taking it in his mouth, concentrating only on the ecstasy of his beloved and teasing more exquisite breathless moans from him.**

**It was very exciting seeing how much pleasure he was giving his partner.  As he caressed the hard flesh with his mouth, he felt his lover's thigh muscles flexing, but he knew his extraordinary Koishii would remain still.  Doing this and hearing his beloved's ecstasy had only strengthened his urge to take Jiraiya in his throat, Ibiki released his cock stroking it slowly as he licked his balls.**

 

Jiraiya was delighted, more by the fact he was not just giving him oral sex... but actually enjoying and tasting his body reacting and doing what he desired.  This was wonderful!

 

Ibiki kissed his way up his body, his hand still slowly stroking his cock, and nuzzled Jiraiya's ear, "Please let me take you in my throat."

 

Jiraiya caressed his beloved's face and relented, "Do as you desire my love, touch me and kiss my body however you wish... you bring me so much pleasure with every touch you want to give me."

 

**Ibiki groaned softly as his lover's fingers feathered over his erection, then dropped away allowing him to sink down before him.  As he took his partner's cock in his mouth, his hand cupped his balls and his finger rubbed over the tempting entrance to his body.  Jiraiya gave loud moans, "You are so amazing Koishii!"**

**Ibiki's mouth slipped along the hard length as his finger teased Jiraiya's rim, a rush of arousal swept through him as he felt his lover's muscles relax welcoming the press of his finger into the hot grasp of his body.  He dropped to the base trying to keep his thoughts more on the feel of his finger stroking into his Koishii's body than what he was doing...**

**His attempt was not as successful as he'd hoped, Ibiki quickly drew back.  His heart was pounding a bit too hard and he was losing the enjoyment he'd been feeling at kissing and teasing his lover's body under strong surges of fear.   Ibiki slipped back to the tip, sucking and teasing cries from his beloved by flicking his tongue over the turgid head.**

**His finger now pumping into his lover's body teased him, his cock throbbing and his need escalating, but he wanted to feel Jiraiya's muscles clench around his finger as he came.  He began moving faster on his beloved's rigid length drawing on it at the top of every bob and listening to his urgent cries.  Ibiki wanted this, he wanted to feel his Koishii's body drawing on his fingers, to hear his cries of passion.**

**As his lover's balls tightened to cum, Ibiki dropped to the base, his finger resting deep in his extraordinary partner and listening to his howls of rapture.  Never before had he heard such spectacular loud wails of ecstasy from his beloved, he tried to remain focused on them and on the feel of his lover's body contracting around his finger as he felt the jump of Jiraiya's cock in his throat... But the feel of it brought an overwhelming wave of fear.  His finger slipped out of Jiraiya's body and his hands quickly grasped his hips, but his lover was not bucking roughly into his throat.  His Koishii still did not move.**

**He wanted to back away, his heart pounding hard enough that he could feel it hammering against his ribs.  But he did not release his beloved's cock, only drew back and sucked, feeling Jiraiya's last soft jets in his mouth.**

 

Jiraiya knew it had frightened his brave lover, but he had not backed away, his strong Koishii wanted to get past this and he would support him.  Ibiki released his sated length and rose to embrace him, not kiss but grasp him tight. 

 

Jiraiya gently massaged his back and placed kisses on his shoulder, waiting for his beloved to be ready to speak.  His grasp slowly loosened, and finally he spoke softly, "That was terrifying... but I do not regret doing it.  This is what I want and I won't let the fear take it from me." 

 

**When Ibiki drew back slightly and met Jiraiya's eyes they were soothing, not alarmed, understanding... his Koishii stroked his face and his voice was deeply loving, "My strong beloved, my precious one, you amaze me with your strength.  I love you so much."**

**The fact he saw no distress in Jiraiya's eyes helped, although Ibiki wasn't entirely sure why.  He would not try to understand it right now, right now he wanted to feel his Koishii's love, "I need you to kiss me."**

 

Jiraiya understood and tenderly kissed him pouring all his love into the adoring kiss, then slowly heating it to passion.  Soon he was getting soft moans from Ibiki and his beloved was ecstatically kissing him, his  partner's tight hold was now in pleasure and rapidly growing desire.  When Ibiki had rose his beloved had not been aroused.  He'd been badly frightened by what he'd done, but he didn't regret it so Jiraiya couldn't feel regret either, only pride in his brave lover.  Now his Koishii's cock was flushed with need once more.

 

Jiraiya believed it would be 'good' for Ibiki to see and feel him giving him oral sex, to feel the rapture he'd given him.  It would possibly help him handle the fear, but this was his choice.  "Koishii would you like to feel the pleasures of my mouth or my body... as I slip my mouth over the swollen length, teasing cries of ecstasy from your lips... stroking your balls and bringing you powerful waves of pleasure..."

 

**His lover's words enflamed his need so greatly that, if he didn't stop his beloved, he'd make him cum!  Ibiki groaned and covered his mouth in a playful kiss stopping his words, "So sexy.  I would like to feel your mouth on me Koishii."**

**He knew why Jiraiya had offered that first and he agreed, he needed to link this to the pleasure he had been giving him.  To feel the ecstasy and know this was the powerful pleasure he'd been giving his beloved.**

**Jiraiya kissed him then trailed kisses down his torso, imitating the tease that Ibiki had done to him.  Ibiki moaned, he remembered kissing his Koishii like that, hearing his cries just as he now moaned in delight.  His beloved's every action was similar to what Ibiki had done to give him pleasure, and the knowledge that these astounding sensations were what he'd been giving his lover excited him further.**

**As Jiraiya took him in his throat his hands cupped Ibiki's hips, a loving gesture that mimicked the panicked grasp he'd done to his Koishii.  Ibiki cried out in rapture as he reached his climax, cumming in the amazing tight grasp of his lover's throat.  The knowledge that he was able to give his partner this ecstasy was worth that strong fear he'd felt... there was no doubt in his mind that he would take Jiraiya in his throat again, many times, and one day he'd only feel pleasure.**

**Now Ibiki knew why Jiraiya's lack of distress had made everything easier... belief.   Jiraiya's acceptance and his not growing distressed, it was support and the belief that he could do these things, that he would move past all the things that held him back.  His Koishii truly believed that he'd reach a point where he'd be free of the past and his belief in him reassured and strengthened him.**

**When they rose and went in to shower Ibiki stroked over his lover's spectacular body, enjoying the feel of him, and the freedom he'd gained to do it.  Jiraiya smiled, "That feels fantastic Koishii."  Ibiki wrapped his arms around his beloved, embracing him and replied, " You are wonderful."  He kissed him, then released him, lathered his hands and washed him slowly.  So many little things felt so good, things he'd never pictured himself doing.  He'd had no idea how incredible it would feel just to touch him, to enclose him in his arms and kiss him.**

**After washing they heated up leftovers, ate them, then returned to lay together caressing each other until they grew tired.  Jiraiya still could not sleep beside him but he was beginning to think even that may one day be possible.**

 

====================================

 

Jiraiya had cut up fruit or breakfast and traced them over his lips while 'eating' them, tempting Ibiki into leaning in to lick the juice from his lips.  It was a strong tease of them both, but still extremely enjoyable.  This bit of playful humor before going in to work had his Koishii smiling, he loved seeing Ibiki smile and his beloved always looked so relieved and happy when he did it. 

 

So many things that were 'lost' were found again and Jiraiya truly believed Ibiki would be 'free' of all his restrictions soon, he was achieving new things daily, making bold leaps forward.  It wasn't really about the sex, it was about being able to leave the past behind and not let it hinder the way he lived his life in the present and future.

 

Now that his beloved had gone to work Jiraiya decided to go visit with Tsunade.  He had not started his next novel, only began gathering ideas for it and being out with Tsunade would be a pleasant break.  Their talks were now not so much about the past as the future, the renovations to many of the older buildings and talk of the villagers.  After all they'd been through it was time to move forward, Jiraiya could see that it had been him that had helped keep his friend mourning the past.  His sorrow had been a weight dragging her down, she was happier and healthier now, although she still drank quite a bit it was no longer to the point of passing out.

 

As he walked through the village he thought about his lovers, but then that was not unusual, they two amazing men were nearly always on his mind.  His Myobu would be getting back from his mission about the same time as Ibiki was usually done with work, after visiting with his friend, he would meet them at the ANBU building and they would all walk home together.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Iruka smiled as Kakashi walked in and started writing up his report, the reserved man had looked at him as he walked in, studied his face as if making sure he was ok... it made him feel good.  That small action felt as good as if Kakashi had called out a 'hello', just the knowledge he cared... Kakashi was a very special person, he was so glad he had Jiraiya and Ibiki, the three men were perfect for each other.

 

_Kakashi subtly looked around the office while seeming to be busy writing up his report, nothing seemed off... and Iruka seemed well.  He had not liked seeing him sad, seeing the gregarious man's smile made being in the mission office less distressing, even when others got a bit too near.  The memory of Iruka's anger at Zonzai for touching him made him feel less alone, it felt good to have someone who cared that being touched was upsetting for him... and Iruka hadn't thought he was wrong to react to it._

_Thought of the way Iruka reacted brought up memories of the way his lovers had reacted, he couldn't wait to feel Ibiki's arms around him... this had been a standard mission so after this he could go see his partner and he was sure Jiraiya would walk home with them._

_He finished his report and walked over to the mission desk.  Iruka smiled as he handed it to him, "Have a good day off."_

_Kakashi thought about how Jiraiya responded, it was  the only way he knew what he was supposed to do sometimes.  "Thank you... I will."_

_The mission's office was getting a bit too crowded now and Kakashi was glad he was done with his report.  He felt a wave of relief as he walked out of the Admin. building and into the market, although there were a lot of people in the market at this time of day he didn't feel so closed in._

_As he walked he subtly watched the mothers and children in the busy market area... he didn't really remember what his mom was like.  He couldn't even picture her face, he was too young when she 'disappeared'... he was still not sure what happened he was simply told she was dead.   His father did not talk about her, there were no pictures... she was just gone._

_Even though they were not close, the lost of his dad a few years later hurt, it was only made worse by the knowledge his father had chosen to leave him by killing himself... from then on he was alone._

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki looked up as his wonderful Saiai walked in then rose to kiss him softly,  "Jiraiya isn't with you?"**

**Kakashi shook his head, but he did not look worried, "He will come soon."**

**Ibiki nodded it was good to see Kakashi was becoming more relaxed, more secure in his belief that  Jiraiya would stay with them.  "Yes, I'm sure he'll be here very soon."**

 

_Kakashi didn't feel quite as confident as he sounded, not seeing their partner as he walked from the missions office to the ANBU building and not finding Jiraiya here was making him a bit uneasy.  He could trust Jiraiya, it wasn't that as much as not knowing where he was.  He needed both his partners so much, he couldn't ever bear to lose them...he tried to calm himself,  he knew Jiraiya would arrive soon._

 

**Ibiki saw his assumption was wrong, his lover was a bit anxious, it was clear that Kakashi had expected Jiraiya to be here already.  Ibiki kissed his brow, "Saiai he is probably spending time with Lady Tsunade."**

**Kakashi nodded, then looked over at the door. "He's here."**

**A moment later Jiraiya walked in, his Saiai always amazed him with the way he instantly pinpointed peoples chakra signatures, he was a very gifted Shinobi and yet there was something fragile about him that made Ibiki want to protect him.**

**Jiraiya immediately smiled at seeing his lover's holding each other he gave them both a kiss.  Ibiki released Kakashi and kissed his temple, "Let me just lock up these papers and we'll go."**

 

_Kakashi nodded and slipped over to be wrapped in Jiraiya's arms now that both his lovers were here he was content, Jiraiya's hands softly massaged his back.  "I love you Myobu... how are you feeling my Kitsune?"_

_Kakashi stroked his face, "Ok now."_

 

Jiraiya had noticed the way he'd been looking intently at the door when he walked in.  Although he was trying to relax and trust that nothing would happen to take the people he loved from him, he had little in his past to base that belief on.  Unlike himself, his Myobu did not have even the brief times of love he'd had with his Angels to ease his loneliness. 

 

The walk home was quiet, but not uncomfortable, Kakashi's eyes dropped down to Ibiki's hand a few times but he did not try to take his hand.  In spite of this Jiraiya got no impression of anxiety he just looked thoughtful.

 

_He loved both his lovers touch, the feel of their bodies against him and he loved when they both hugged him.  It made him feel so happy, like their love was a warm blanket wrapped around him... he wished he had the words to tell them these things but it was so difficult to find the right words._

_Just thinking about his partners bodies being pressed to his was arousing and he was glad they were almost home, he needed to touch them and feel their touches._

_As they walked in the door he turned to stroke Jiraiya and felt Ibiki's hands caressing his back.  He looked over his shoulder at him, "I want you."_

_Ibiki nodded and started stripping away Kakashi's clothes reaching around him and embracing him as he bared his body, brushing his hands lightly over his sensitive skin as Kakashi gave excited shivers.  He wanted Ibiki to fuck him while they were standing, so he could thrust against Jiraiya and feel his cock rubbing against their partner's as Ibiki fucked him._

_His eyes rested on Jiraiya's cock as his lover stripped, then enclosed the enticing length in his hand stroking over the hard flesh for a moment before he turned to help remove Ibiki's clothes.  As he finished removing Ibiki's clothes, he caressed his beloved's chest down to the silky skin of his pelvis and listened to Ibiki's delighted moan at his touch.  He wanted them both so much!  He gave a momentary hesitation and when he saw both his lovers look at him curiously he risked asking.  He was nervous about upsetting Ibiki, but they told him to ask for the things he desired, he looked in Ibiki's eyes and bluntly stated, "I'd like you to fuck me here... standing and to feel Jiraiya's cock against me."_

 

**Ibiki was uneasy about the idea of fucking his small lover when he was trapped between Jiraiya and himself... Jiraiya kissed him, but just like Kakashi he waited without trying to convince him, only waited for his decision on if he was willing.**

**He wanted Kakashi to feel able to ask for the things he desired... and he wanted to fill those desires.  He had to try, Ibiki nodded, "Kiss me Saiai."**

**Kakashi leaned into him, kissing him passionately and his doubts eased a bit.  His tempting Saiai's engorged flesh pressed to his was very arousing!**

 

Jiraiya went and got the lube, then set it beside his knees as he knelt behind his Myobu, parted the firm cheeks and stroked his tongue over the tight entrance.  Kakashi shivered and mewed into his kiss with Ibiki.  Jiraiya was amused, their lover was so seductive, he teased the tender rim with strokes of his tongue until the muscles eagerly gave to let his tongue slip into his beloved's body.

 

_Kakashi whimpered softly, this was an incredible tease!  Ibiki's passionate kiss while Jiraiya teased his ass very quickly had him so aroused he trembled.  But the temptation grew with the press of his partner's slick finger into his body, it excited him so much that he struggled not to buck back into it.  Jiraiya kissed the cheek of his ass as he pumped his finger into him._

_Kakashi's breath caught and released in a muted moan as he felt the finger slip out and the tease of two fingers... they pumped a moment then pressed deep and when his lover scissored his fingers... it felt so good he nearly came!_

 

Jiraiya smiled, teasing him further with short strokes, curling his fingers slightly to rub over the walls of his passage.  Kakashi whined at the tease and Jiraiya placed another soft kiss on his ass cheek before withdrawing his fingers and rising.  Their lover was extremely aroused and his body very eager for more stimulation, Ibiki would not cause him any pain.

 

**Ibiki felt his beloved's excited quiver, his Saiai's engorged cock flushed harder and pressed firmly against his own, it tempted him greatly.  When Jiraiya rose, he broke the kiss and turned their slender partner to face Jiraiya.  Slowly he pushed into the hot grasp of his lover's body, feeling the eager flex of his partner's muscles around his cock.  Softly he groaned, "Saiai you feel so good!"**

**Kakashi panted, "I love feeling you inside me!"**

 

Jiraiya could see how urgently aroused Kakashi was and his hand rested at the base of his erection blocking his orgasm as Ibiki pressed in to the base.  His thumb remained at the base as his beloved began slowly fucking their lover.  Jiraiya watched his Koishii's face a moment and, when he saw no distress, his other hand began feathering pulses over the swollen head and shaft of his Myobu's turgid cock. 

 

Ibiki groaned, teased by the grasp of Kakashi's muscles tightening, his strokes grew faster.  Kakashi gave loud wails of rapture, shivering between the intense stimulation from both his lovers.  Jiraiya loved seeing the ecstasy on his partners faces and hearing their cries of pleasure.

 

_Kakashi was breathless with the powerful waves of ecstasy sweeping through him.  Jiraiya's hand moved away and he wrapped his arms firmly around him.  Kakashi gave fevered moans rocking his engorged cock against Jiraiya's and struggling against the desire to cum.  He did not want to give this up!  This was nirvana, both his lover's embracing him, giving him waves of overwhelming pleasure!_

 

Jiraiya looked Ibiki in the eyes as he tightened his grasp around their lover, he knew Kakashi would get a thrill out of being enclosed firmly between them, but he wasn't sure his Koishii could bear it.

 

**Ibiki tried to remain centered in the present listening to his lover's cries and braved to wrap his arms around his Saiai to rest on Jiraiya's back... pressing their small partner between them as he gave his last firm thrusts.  Kakashi howled in rapture trembling and crying out as Ibiki bucked into the tight grasp sating himself and felt the strong contractions of his Saiai's muscles as he reached his climax.**

 

Jiraiya was so proud of his Koishii, he'd put aside his anxiety to give Kakashi what he desired.  Jiraiya could feel the tension in him as he grasped his waist and was sure this had been difficult for him, but his strong Koishii had done it.

 

**Ibiki felt Jiraiya's soft caress, his gaze was understanding... and proud, it gave him the strength not to immediately back away and they remained cupping their lover between them.  Although this caused anxiety it had felt good too and he was glad he'd done it.**

 

_Kakashi looked back over his shoulder at Ibiki, "You did this for me, thank you."  He was not sure he should say it, so many times he was just too blunt... but it was ok, his lovers liked that about him, "I loved feeling enclosed between you and Jiraiya... I feel wanted."  Having both of his partner's giving him pleasure like this had been even better than he'd ever imagined!_

 

**Ibiki kissed him then placed kisses over his shoulders, "You are wanted, now and always Saiai." He remained with his lover firmly cradled between them.  This was worth any anxiety he felt as he did it, his partner felt deep happiness at feeling them cup his body between them.  His beloved's greatest fear was that he would lose them, he knew feeling enclosed gave him security and this was something he would gladly do again for him as often as he wished.**

_Kakashi lay his head against Jiraiya's chest, Ibiki's sated cock still rested inside him as both his lovers held him... it was perfect.  He looked up at Jiraiya, as much as he wished he could feel his other partner inside him, he also wished to watch his lovers fuck.  "I want to watch you and Ibiki fuck."_

_He looked back at Ibiki and saw his amused smile, his cocks soft jump inside the grasp of Kakashi's body as it tried to harden was proof that he was in enthusiastic agreement about fucking their lover.  Ibiki lightly teased, "Really... hmm, I think I could do that."_

 

Jiraiya smiled and stroked Kakashi's cheek, his Koishii's fond smile at their smaller lover brought a playful question.  "How would you like us to do it?" 

 

Kakashi looked surprised then extremely excited.  "Can you straddle him so I can touch you?" 

 

Kakashi glanced back at Ibiki hopefully and he gave a soft laugh, "Anything you desire my sexy Saiai."

 

_The three men went into the bedroom and Ibiki lay down on the bed, Kakashi crawled up to beside him caressing his chest as he watched their partner stroke Ibiki, teasing him until he was giving soft needy moans.  Kakashi kissed Ibiki's chest, then slipped down to watch as Jiraiya straddled Ibiki's hips, positioned his erection and dropped down to the base on it.  Kakashi's fingers traced Jiraiya's entrance,  their partner's cock filled him, his body grasping the hard length... it was so arousing!  He slipped up slightly watching his lovers enthusiastically fuck and shivering in excitement wrapping his hand around Jiraiya's cock so every rock of his hips fucked his hand.  Looking between his lovers faces and watching the ecstasy on them, he felt joy, until he got their love he'd never felt this way. This excitement and joy... and contentment._

 

**The rapture of Jiraiya's body was so great that Ibiki was barely able to resist cumming, but the look on their partner's face as he watched them made the struggle worth it.  Kakashi was panting he was so excited and his eyes were dark with desire.  It was more than lust he desired them, desired to feel them, to hear their cries and enjoy their pleasure... his Saiai was incredible!   Ibiki moaned and urged his beautiful lover, "Tease him with chakra!"  **

**Kakashi looked delighted, and it was immediately clear he had started to send chakra through his fingertips by the fevered cries Jiraiya gave**.

 

Jiraiya looked at his seductive Kitsune and moaned, Kakashi was driving him wild with need, he tilted his hips and his Koishii's cock rubbed over his pleasure spot bringing his climax.  Ibiki thrust up into him moaning and bucking into rippling depths as he reached his orgasm. 

 

_Kakashi drew his hand back and watched his lovers as he licked Jiraiya's cum from his hand, both his partners groaned and Kakashi smiled, "I like touching you and watching you fuck."_

 

"I can see that."  Ibiki teased.  Jiraiya rose off him, kissed Kakashi, and three men went to shower.  There was no doubt in any of their minds that it would be a 'long shower' full of tender caresses.  

 

======================================

 

After they had a quiet breakfast together, Kakashi and Jiraiya kissed their lover and watched him walk out the door to work.  Then Jiraiya wrapped his arms around his beloved's sensual form, "What would you like to do today?"

 

Kakashi looked down at Jiraiya's erection, Jiraiya smiled, he grew aroused just feeling his tempting lover in his arms and when his Myobu's gaze lifted his gaze was filled with desire.

 

_"I want you in me."  Kakashi replied bluntly.  Jiraiya rarely fucked him if Ibiki was home, he wasn't sure if it was because it may upset their partner, so he rarely asked.  If it was upsetting to Ibiki it was not worth the pleasure he'd get from it and he could wait for these chances to feel his wonderful lover's cock inside him._

_Jiraiya kissed him passionately, his hands stroking over his body molding Kakashi to his hard body, then broke the kiss to suck on the top of his ear.  His tongue feathered over the area and teasing him with the knowledge of how spectacular it would feel as it teased the entrance to his ear.  Kakashi trembled and clung to his lover as he gave soft moans at the exquisite sensations, then begged, "I want to touch you."_

_Jiraiya placed a kiss on Kakashi's neck, getting another shiver of pleasure then released him and let his arms drop, freeing him.  Kakashi opened his shirt stroking lightly over his beloved's chest then kissing it tenderly.  Then slipped around behind him and stripped Jiraiya's shirt off, caressing the warm skin and enjoying the way his lover's muscles flexed under his hands._

_He loved Jiraiya so much!  He embraced him from behind and lay his head against his partner's body for a moment just enjoying his scent.  Jiraiya didn't move, but his tone was full of love, "Myobu, you are so precious to me, every touch you give me fills me with happiness."_

_Kakashi released him and circled to in front of him, kissed him, then placed kisses over his firm abs.  He slipped down, unfastening his beloved's pants to stroke over the soft skin of his pelvis.   Jiraiya moaned, the sound teased and yet brought deep happiness as well.  Kakashi loved these times of getting to slowly touch every part of him.  When he freed his partner's swollen length, he was very tempted to take it in his mouth, it was hard to resist but he continued drawing his lover's pants down to pooled at his feet and Jiraiya stepped free._

_Kakashi rose looking at his nude lover, and placed a kiss on his chest, his fingers feathered over Jiraiya's erection then circled around to caress the cheeks of his ass.  Gently kneading them, stroking down the part and feeling his beloved's cock give a soft jump at the tease.  Kakashi's finger slipped between brushing over his partner's entrance as he watched the way Jiraiya's cock eagerly reacted... Would he ever be able to touch Ibiki like this and see only pleasure at his touch?_

_The thought was sobering and his finger slipped away as he stepped back just enough to strip his clothes off then molded his body to Jiraiya's again.  "I need you in me... I don't want to be prepared, can I?  I promise I won't cause myself pain."_

 

"Yes my beautiful Kitsune."  Jiraiya led him over to the couch and sat on it, stroking lube over his cock.  Kakashi straddled him on his knees, positioning his body up over the well lubed length and pressed, then lifted slightly.  Then surprised a gasp out of Jiraiya by rubbing his erection lightly over his rim before pressing again.  Jiraiya cupped his face and kissed him, his Myobu was teasing his body and his muscles were quickly loosening as his desire grew.  Again his gorgeous lover pressed, then eased up slightly shivering in need and giving soft whimpers of pleasure.  He rubbed his rim against the swollen tip again and when he pressed down on it once more the head of his cock slipped in.

 

_Kakashi moaned, the minute flash of pain was nothing more than a tease now.  He loved the feel of his lover's arousal pushing through the loosened muscles into his unprepared body, loved feeling the flex of his muscles around the width... and the slow drop as his partner's cock sank into his tight body.  He was grateful Jiraiya allowed it, he'd never known this ecstasy until he'd been allowed that first time._

_He still enjoyed being prepared, but sometimes this was what he really wanted, this gradual stretch of his body and feeling his lover filling him full.  Kakashi gave a happy sigh as he came to rest on his bent legs, he was nearly at the base, it felt outstanding!  He wished Jiraiya would truly fuck him like this, he would not let his beloved cause him pain.  Jiraiya expressed such deep sorrow at any sign of pain, if it was painful he'd rise up on his knees until it wasn't.  He shouldn't ask, it was very distressing to his partner, the fear he'd hurt him took his pleasure away.  But he really wanted to feel his lover cum deep inside of him, and Jiraiya had covered him... maybe he would.  "I want to feel you, I want you to cum inside me_."

 

Kakashi placed soft kisses over his throat, he was sitting with his legs bent beneath him resting seated on his knees, he had not rose up to half way and was nearly at the base.  Jiraiya wanted to deny him, he would hurt him... his gorgeous Kitsune looked in his eyes with longing, then a flash of sadness swept through his gaze and immediately turned to acceptance. 

 

His partner always gave up things he desired, accepted being denied, it wasn't fair to him... but he couldn't do this.  Kakashi wanted his trust, but sadly even that he did not fully get and his beloved accepted that too.  He deserved to be able to get the things he desired.  Jiraiya relented, he could cup his Myobu's hips, he would watch his lover's face and be careful.  At any sign of pain he'd draw him up to on his knees.

 

_Jiraiya nodded and caressed him as he slowly rocked his hips.  Kakashi moaned, "Oh you feel so good... I love feeling you inside me..." Jiraiya kissed him and as he drew back from the kiss Kakashi asked softly, "Can I touch you?  Stroke your chest?"  He knew it would tease his beloved, but he loved touching him so much!_

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his ear getting a needy mew, "You can do anything you wish."  But even as he said it they both knew that wasn't true, there were many things his Myobu desired that were just not possible.  Being caressed would tease him, but he could resist becoming too excited. 

 

_As his body loosened more he rocked softly into Jiraiya's careful thrusts, Kakashi watched his beloved's face as he teased his nipples, although he knew it was exciting Jiraiya his slow strokes did not become faster or harder.  Kakashi relented, this was not something his lover could accept, he would rise up to halfway so he could hear his partner crying out in pleasure._

 

Jiraiya saw the little flash of sadness again, it was only because he was watching his eyes so intently for signs of pain.  He felt the flex of his lover's leg muscles and knew he was going to rise up, he hadn't seen any pain from him... which meant the sadness was because his Myobu knew he wasn't trusting him.  Jiraiya's hands firmed on his hips, gently encouraging him to remain down and kissed him, "Please, no pain."

 

Kakashi gave him a loving smile, "I promise, I will not let you cause me pain."

 

Jiraiya hesitated then released his hips, caressing his back as he rocked faster into the incredible ecstasy of his lover's body and groaned, "My amazing Myobu!"

 

_Kakashi felt a thrill as he felt his beloved's tension ease, he was trusting him!  He rocked into his partner's thrusts, at first cautiously then gradually faster as he felt no pain.  He was so excited by the freedom that it was difficult not to cum and listening to Jiraiya's moans made it nearly impossible!_

 

Jiraiya groaned his lover's body felt so spectacular!  But it would hurt him if he bucked firmly as he climaxed, he bucked very gently and his beloved rocked forward into the soft thrust crying out in rapture as he came.  His perfect Myobu remained pressed into his softer bucks and his partner's muscles continued rippling and teasing him until he was sated.  Then Kakashi lay against his chest and placed a kiss there, "Thank you for trusting me."

 

Jiraiya massaged his beloved's back, "You deserve my trust."  That was the truth, his Myobu did deserve his trust and yet he still hesitated to fully trust him time and time again.

 

======================================================

 

The next day Jiraiya got some unexpected news, his publisher wanted to meet about  turning his novel into a movie and he needed to go to meet with him and the producer.  The town his publisher lived in, Machihazure, did not bring good memories for his Myobu... of course there was no longer any chance of running into Samoshii... but he was not going to meet his publisher and the producer _there_.

 

The town where he was to meet with the producer and his publisher was one that he had never wished to see ever again.  The all too familiar Port town did not bring up good memories, but he just tried to keep in mind it would only be for a few days.

 

Jiraiya was disturbed and went to go talk with Ibiki.   He was sure his Koishii would already know, he was one of the first people to find out anything that had to do with the village or its members.  It was likely he was expecting his visit, but Kakashi would not know yet and Jiraiya was not looking forward to telling his sensitive Myobu.

 

\-----------------------

 

**Ibiki rose as his lover walked in, when he read where his Koishii would be going he'd nearly put in for leave himself... but then his going along would not have helped.  Both times Jiraiya and he had been in the Port town it was because he'd hurt his partner badly.  He wished he could send Kakashi, but neither he nor Kakashi could go at this time.  There were some important missions coming up, as ANBU Commander he had to be here to assign them and receive the reports.  Kakashi was one of his top ANBU and he was needed for some of the missions.**

**"Jiraiya."  Ibiki walked over and embraced his Koishii, he didn't know what to say, there was nothing that could change what had happened in the past.  "I wish I could go or send Kakashi with you, but I can't, I need him for a few of the planned missions... he's essential."**

**Jiraiya smiled tenderly and stroked his face, "I know, your jobs are very important, the village's safety must come first.  I wouldn't want anything I ever do to place it at risk.  I will be fine, it's only a few days, then I'll be back."**

**Ibiki nodded but inside he wanted to ask him not to go, that place was full of so much sorrow.  Jiraiya cradled his face kissing him gently, "All that is in the past my Koishii, don't worry I will be ok."**

 

He didn't plan on leaving until tomorrow morning and if he traveled fast, hopefully, they could get this done so he could come home quickly.   Now it wasn't as much the fact he was going to the Port town that had Jiraiya very uneasy about going, his Kitsune was scheduled for ANBU missions... what if he got badly hurt? 

 

Gamaken would be bringing his badly injured lover to him in the Port town instead of directly to Leaf where he would be safe and healed quickly... But this worry was foolish.  Even if Gamaken delivered his beloved there, he could just transport them both to Leaf.  It would require summoning  Gamabunta, but in spite of his gruff manner there was nothing Gamabunta would not do to help him if he was in trouble.  Twice he'd seen his Myobu badly injured, he dreaded ever seeing it again, but it was likely he would.  As one of the top ANBU Kakashi was given the most dangerous missions.

 

Ibiki stroked his face breaking him from his highly morose thoughts, "Koishii do you want me to tell him?"

 

Jiraiya smiled softly, "No.  I will tell him."

 

**Jiraiya looked so sad, Ibiki wished there was any way he or Kakashi could go, but there wasn't.**

**His exceptional Koishii could see he was worried and kissed him tenderly, then reassured. "I will be ok, please don't worry.  I'm going to visit Tsunade now."**

**Ibiki kissed him tenderly again, "I'll be done here at the usual time."**

**Jiraiya stroked his neck as he replied, "I will be back here by then."**

 

\------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya walked into his friends office and sat on the corner of her very messy desk. "Hey... busy?"

 

Tsunade gave a devilish smirk, shoved the pile of papers off her desk into the trash can and said, "No, I think I just got all caught up."

 

Jiraiya laughed, "Shizune is going to pull them back out."

 

Tsunade feigned a frown, "Leave me have this moment of victory."

 

Jiraiya raised his hands, "I saw nothing."

 

She laughed, and then teased, "I hear your smut is being made into a movie."

 

Jiraiya shrugged, "Yes, it might be... I have to visit the port to talk to my publisher and a producer about it."

 

Tsunade's smile faded, "You have to meet them there?"

 

Jiraiya nodded.   Tsunade sat back in her chair, "So how do you feel about going?"

 

"It's not my favorite place, but that's not what is bothering me about going." Jiraiya gave her a sheepish smile, but he knew Tsunade could see right through it.  "I worry... it's foolish but I don't want to leave Ibiki and Kakashi alone."

 

She teased, "Mother Hen..."  Then her eyes turned sympathetic, "It's understandable Jiraiya, I promise this time I will protect your precious ones."

 

Jiraiya took her hand, "It's not your fault, we were both just naive kids, neither of us ever imagined Oro was capable of such cruelty." 

 

Tsunade nodded and slipped her hand free, pouring them both a cup of Sake from one of her many hidden bottles.  She sighed, then forced a smile and tried to sound light hearted.  "They will be ok, I'll keep an eye on them."

 

Jiraiya nodded, then changed the subject, "So how is it going on convincing the council to authorize the building of a new Academy?"

 

Tsunade gave a disdainful snort, "Doddering fools won't accept where we want to build it, they say that disintegrating old building is 'historical', although not a single one of them can remember why.  They won't let us tear it down or even renovate it... the building is going to come crashing down and they'll probably say the rubble is historical."

 

Jiraiya laughed, "You have your hands full on that one... that's the third area they've rejected."

 

Tsunade shook her head in disgust, "No, it's the fourth."

 

Jiraiya relaxed, listening to his friends rants got his mind off his worries for a bit.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi nearly smiled when he felt Jiraiya approaching, he was hoping he'd be waiting with Ibiki at the ANBU HQ, but this was even better.  Walking through the village was always so much easier with his lovers beside him, even if expressing emotion was still uncomfortable._

_Jiraiya smiled as he began walking beside his partner, "Myobu, I love when I get the chance to walk to the ANBU building with you."_

 

Kakashi glanced up and for a moment there was love in his eyes, then they returned to looking at the road ahead, but replied, "Being near you makes me feel good."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I'm glad my cherished Myobu."

 

Should he talk about it now?  He didn't want Kakashi to feel they were keeping secrets from him... no, not in public where he could not freely react.  As they walked through the ANBU building to Ibiki's office, they got a few glances, but it was a familiar routine.  Still, if the ANBU guard didn't watch for signs of something amiss then they could be compromising their HQ and endangering their fellow ANBU.

 

Ibiki looked up and smiled as they walked in and shut the door, Kakashi's tension melted away and Jiraiya regretted that he had to cause him distress, he needed to tell his beautiful lover about the 'trip' he had to take.

 

Jiraiya gathered his beloved in his arms and kissed him, he would be blunt about it, Kakashi dealt better with that then dragging it out and having him worry.  "Myobu, I have to go on a trip for a few days."

 

Kakashi looked up his eyes now sad... but even worse was the hint of betrayal in them.  Jiraiya stroked his face, nothing was worth causing his lovers sorrow.  "I won't go Myobu, forget that I said it."

 

Ibiki now joined them and soothingly rubbed Kakashi's back, "Saiai, this is important.  They want to make one of Jiraiya's books into a movie, it's a big honor."

 

Kakashi felt both his partners hands caressing him and fought with his selfish urge to accept Jiraiya's offer to not to go... to keep him from getting something that would make him happy... No, he couldn't do that.   "I want you to go."

 

Jiraiya kissed him, "Are you sure?  I will not go if it distresses you."

 

Kakashi looked between his partners and then replied honestly, "It will distress me, but the thought of you not going because of me is more distressing... you need to go."

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

Their evening meal was somber, after they lay just caressing each other, trying to reassure each other  and yet no one was soothed.  Sleep was a long time coming for them all.

 

=============================

 

**Jiraiya had left that morning,  it had been difficult reading in the patrol report of him going out the gate alone... three times before he sat in his office and read that... none of them were times where it turned out to be a good thing, only the start of a great deal of pain.**

**Ibiki was surprised when Tsunade sent a summons, he immediately locked up all confidential documents and went to go see the Hokage.  When he walked in she got right to the point.  "Don't send Kakashi on anything dangerous while Jiraiya's gone."**

**Ibiki studied her face, she was worried, "Jiraiya would want me to send him on his assigned missions."**

**Tsunade looked away, "I don't care, that's an order... " then her voice softened, "He can't lose another person he loves."**

**Ibiki understood how she felt, right now she wasn't the Hokage, she was someone who wanted to protect the person she loved.  "Lady Tsunade, you have no idea how much I wish I could promise Kakashi would never be injured again, but I can't.  What I can say without a doubt is Kakashi loves being an ANBU, he loves protecting the village... I can't take that away from him, we just need to trust in him."**

**Tsunade nodded, but didn't look at him, Ibiki's natural reservation fell and he spoke to her like he would to someone who loved Jiraiya as much as he and Kakashi did.  "A long time ago, before we all became partners, Jiraiya gave Kakashi a piece of parchment.  He keeps it on him for every mission... even the ones that are not ANBU, it is part of his uniform and he always has it on him beside his heart."**

**Tsunade looked at Ibiki.**

**Ibiki explained, "On that parchment is a summoning that will be activated by blood, Jiraiya arranged for Gamaken to be summoned if it is activated and for him to bring Kakashi to Jiraiya.  I know Jiraiya will not let him die, we have to trust them."**

**Tsunade nodded and replied softly, "That sounds like my 'Lion'... he always looked for ways to keep me safe, worked out solutions  before I was in danger.  I kept telling him he was a mother hen, but I was always grateful for everything he'd done.  I understand.  Put Kakashi on the missions you need him for."**

**Ibiki nodded and walked out, he felt the same way about putting Kakashi in danger, but this was the job he loved, he would believe in his Saiai.**

 

==========================================

 

END OF CHAPTER 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 34: BITTERSWEET MEMORIES (A BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE)


	35. ANYWHERE BUT HERE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 35)

**ANYWHERE BUT HERE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 35)**

 

\----( **DAY 1** )-----------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya had waited to leave as long as he could and now he would need to travel swiftly to get to the port to meet with his publisher and the producer.  From the moment he walked out the gate he felt like turning around and returning to the village.  Nothing was more important than his lovers, but it was important to his publisher, both for the great amount of money they would receive as well as the fact it would promote both the sales of Jiraiya's other books and be good for his publisher's company.

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

_Jiraiya had left that morning, they'd decided it would be best to say goodbye at the house before he left but even still he'd followed and watched him walk out the gate.  He was sure his partner had known he was there, and all he'd have had to say was for him not to go and he wouldn't, but he just watched him leave.  There was nothing to be said that had not been said many times last night and that morning._

_Kakashi sighed as he walked in the door of their house, he was trying not to let it distress him, just as he'd promised Jiraiya.  He needed to keep busy, but with him gone he had nothing to do, he could barely remember how he'd filled his time off before he received the love of his partners... cleaning his weapons, patrolling the village watching people live their lives, training... there had been no one to spar with._

_It was his day off... Jiraiya and he would have sparred... went to the bath house... had sex...  none of the three were possible this time.  The only thing he could do was clean his weapons, although they were already clean and sharp, then he could train by himself.  He would miss sparring with Jiraiya and he wished he could spar with Ibiki, but it was just not possible.  Ibiki was his Commander and it would be inappropriate, he'd never gotten to spar with him, and as long as he remained an ANBU he never would._

_Kakashi decided he'd go visit Ibiki before going down to train, he could clean his weapons after when he returned to the house to wait for his lover to come home.  The walk to the ANBU building was a further reminder of how things had changed, now he was very aware of how others were doing things beside the ones they loved... talking and laughing, and he felt very alone._

_Should he even be going to visit Ibiki at the ANBU building?  It felt ok to do it with Jiraiya, but without him it just seemed inappropriate, just one of the ANBU going in to see the ANBU Commander on his day off.._.

 

**Ibiki saw his Saiai walk in, he knew his lover well, although few others would know it his beloved was very depressed.  Ibiki rose and crossed to him, drew him into his arms and kissed him.  Kakashi leaned into the kiss but it did not feel like it was done in passion, only anxiety.  "What's wrong Saiai?"  He knew Kakashi was upset about Jiraiya leaving but he wanted his lover to feel able to express his thoughts, not to just assume he knew how he felt.**

**Kakashi looked up his eyes guilty, "I shouldn't be here.  I'm one of your men and it's my day off... one of your ANBU should not be coming to..."**

**Ibiki hugged him firmly and he felt his beloved's tension ease.  "You are my lover, if you are not working you are not one of my men, you are my partner."**

**Kakashi looked relieved, Ibiki was glad he asked and not assumed he knew, that was not something he wanted his Saiai to worry about.  He knew his two lovers usually sparred on Kakashi's days off and it was likely he was going to train.  "Are you missing Jiraiya?"**

**Kakashi nodded, now he made no attempt to hide his anxiety.  Ibiki kissed him tenderly and reassured,   "I am too, but you know he's safe and will be back as soon as he can."**

**Kakashi snuggled into him and sighed, "I know... It's hard to continue like everything hasn't changed, we always spend my days off together."**

**Ibiki smirked.  Kakashi's eyes filled with humor and he protested, "We do more than just have sex... I miss sparing with him too."**

**Ibiki nodded, it had been nice to see that small spark of happiness at his 'teasing look', his beloved had changed so greatly since they began their relationship.  He stroked his partner's back gently, "I wish I could spar with you... I'm sorry.** "

 

_Kakashi nodded, that really was not something he should do as his Commander, the other ANBU would feel like he was being treated different.  He would go train now and let Ibiki return to work, he couldn't be a burden on him just because he missed Jiraiya.  "I will go train now and see you when you come home tonight."_

_Kakashi kissed him and felt his lover's arms loosen, for a moment he wished they would remain tight around him, changes made him very uneasy and Jiraiya being gone was a very big change, he was an essential part of his everyday life_.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

**After Kakashi left and went down stairs to train, he sat down and picked up the morning patrol report, it really held no interesting information pertinent to anything currently happening in the village or with relation to other villages. He'd already read it once but he was caught up on his paperwork and really didn't have anything better to do than to scan through it again.**

**Hebi knocked softly, then came in to remove out-of-date and confidential papers that would need to be burned.  Hebi was one of his top ANBU, he did not go out on missions anymore because his leg had been badly injured and it was not safe.  But what seemed a 'menial janitorial' type assignment on the surface was actually the very highest top level job that one of his ANBU could possibly get... and Hebi was the only one trusted with the job.  No one, but Ibiki himself was to see the documents in the box to be burned, what Hebi was trusted with was the highest level of security there was, disposing of the classified materials.**

**Hebi would always remain one of his top ANBU, he was invaluable to keeping the ANBU building running fluidly, he was his trusted advisor and his pipeline to issues with his men so he could resolve any problem quickly.  He valued his opinion on all things, so the times he stopped to talk Ibiki listened seriously.**

**The veteran ANBU paused after picking up the box, looked at him seriously and quietly spoke, "Sparing is essential training, a valid use of time, you should go spar with your lover."**

**Hebi was always straight to the point and Ibiki could speak freely with him.  "I can't, he's one of my men."**

**Hebi shook his head, "Go spar with your lover when not on duty Kakashi is not one of your men he is your partner and all the men understand that."  Hebi continued out the door and down to the lower floor to burn the documents.  **

**Ibiki thought on Hebi's words, they were nearly the same as the ones he'd just said to his Saiai.  He could take Hebi at his word, his men did not look at the time Kakashi wasn't on duty as special treatment of one of his men, they considered him his lover.**

**He looked over at the clock, he did have the time, and he could not deny the times he was able to spar with someone had always been calming, the exercise helped release tension... What was he doing sitting here making excuses why he should?  Ibiki rose and walked down the hall taking the flights of stairs down to the lower level training areas.**

**He walked into the locker area stripped and dressed in clothing that was easier to move in.  Although his everyday uniform was in no way restrictive since he had to be able to move and fight at a moments notice, just like all his men.**

**Kakashi was standing in the center of the room looking at the door as he walked into the training room.  His amazing Saiai had felt his chakra signature, probably the moment he'd started down the stairs.  "I'm going to spar with you."**

**His partner shook his head seriously, "You shouldn't."**

**"Hebi told me I should, that all my men were fine with me sparring with my lover they do not consider you as ANBU when you are not on duty."**

**"Hebi saw me down here..."  Kakashi left the rest unsaid but it was clear that he knew Hebi had seen how sad he was.  His Saiai looked so relieved and thankful, again Ibiki couldn't help comparing him to the man he'd known before, when he hadn't known the extraordinary man loved him.  His beloved was becoming more expressive, not only around Jiraiya and he, but also he'd relaxed a slight bit around a few others like Hebi and Iruka.**

**Ibiki stripped off his outer tunic and took his position on the floor, Kakashi looked at him intently a moment, then stated. "You are very sexy."**

**Ibiki laughed, "Jiraiya said something similar."**

**Kakashi nodded, then walked out and took his position, suddenly serious and focused.   As they sparred Ibiki was stunned at the speed his beloved could move his fluid strokes controlled and crisp, wasting no energy and leaving no opening.  By the end of their match both were breathing heavily but not having gotten in more than two actual contact strikes each**.

 

_Kakashi was thrilled, this had been incredible!  The difference in fighting skills had made it a spectacular challenge, Ibiki calculated his blows for maximum effect.  Not swept in and continually attacked, but the strikes he'd made had been very hard to block and even though he'd successfully block them the force would numb the area for a moment.  Very efficient use of his strength and mass.  Although neither had landed many strikes, he was sure he'd come out the worse physically, he would have a few bruises from blocking the powerful blows.  It had been wonderful, better than he'd ever imagined!_    

 

**Ibiki walked off the sparring floor and, as his lover walked off, he drew him into his arms kissing him, "You amaze me Saiai."**

**Kakashi smiled, "I liked this, will you spar with me again?"**

**Ibiki nuzzled his neck getting a shiver of delight from his beloved and replied, "Yes, Saiai."**

**The two men went into the locker room and stripped, Ibiki's eyes rested not on the bruises, they were expected, but on his captivating lover's erection.  When his gaze lifted to meet Kakashi's, his beloved's eyes were filled with desire.**

**"I really wish I had time to take you home my sexy Saiai... but we'll just have to make due."  Everything about his gorgeous partner was so tempting!**

**Kakashi's eyes widened and he mewed softly as Ibiki drew him into his arms, kissed him passionately and when Ibiki broke the kiss it was to groan, "Saiai!"  His lover's skilled hands were teasing his cock, tracing chakra over the tender head.**

 

_Kakashi wanted his lover in him... but he knew he couldn't ask, not preparing him would be very upsetting for his partner, he would be too worried about hurting him.  Ibiki drew him into the shower and held him in the warm spray, kneading his ass cheeks as they rocked their swollen lengths against each other, groaning in pleasure and breathlessly moaning until they reached their climax._

 

**Ibiki remained embracing his beloved a few moments more before he kissed him lovingly, "I'm sorry I can't go to the bath  house."**

**He'd liked to have suggested his Saiai go by himself but he was sure he would not be comfortable going, it was a shame since his forearms were bruised and Ibiki was sure his shoulder joints would be sore later... Kakashi wasn't the only one that no one would spar with.  Long before his capture by the Rain nin he'd already reached the point where no one was willing to spar with him unless he 'went easy' on them... but then if he did, it was not really sparring.**

**Ibiki turned his beloved in his arms and began massaging his shoulders, combined with the warm water it would help loosen the muscles it was the best he could do.**

 

_Kakashi was surprised. and then began the grow aroused at feeling him behind him.  "Will you... thrust against me?"  It was all he could ask for and he wasn't sure how his partner would feel about even that.   As a reply his lover's hard cock rocked against the part of his ass and Kakashi moaned in delight_.

 

**The sound of his lover's moans excited him, not just sexually, although it did that too, but that he could bring his Saiai such strong pleasure.  Ibiki cupped his small partner back against him as he rocked against the part between his firm cheeks.  He was surprised, in not an entirely good way, as his beloved pressed back into his thrusts.  He felt a momentary uneasiness,  but reasoned with himself in an attempt to calm his distress.  He could do this, he was not thrusting into his lover, and this was not the time to be having 'issues' his partner needed his stability to feel secure.**

 

_Kakashi felt his partner's muscles stiffen and started to ease away, but Ibiki wrapped his arms around him in a wonderful protective hold, nibbling on his throat and teasing his ear.  As his beloved rocked his cock smoothly between his  firm cheeks, he groaned, "Saiai, you are incredible!"_  

 

**His enthralling lover was trembling in excitement and giving breathless cries.  Ibiki moaned, as he reached his orgasm and flicked his tongue in his partner's ear, enjoying the way he tried to writhe as he cried out in rapture and came.**

**Ibiki placed a tender kiss on his brow and chuckled softly, "As is often the case, we are not getting any cleaner by taking a shower."**

 

\--------------------------

 

_After a more thorough shower both men dried and dressed, Ibiki to returned to his office and Kakashi went home to wait until his lover could return.  There really wasn't any way to know when his partner would be able to leave, everything depended on how the assigned missions went._

_Kakashi wished he knew how to cook, it would be wonderful to have something simple waiting for them to eat when he got home.  But he did not know how to cook anything and didn't even know what ingredients he'd need to make a meal._

_He felt uneasy going out to the market place, but he could go get some ramen from Ichiraku's, he wouldn't have to go into the busier areas of the village for that, it was located near the outer market area_. 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

**Ibiki could smell the outstanding aroma of Ichiraku's miso ramen the moment he walked in the door, Kakashi walked over to caress him, "I thought we could have ramen."**

**Ibiki smiled, then kissed his amazing lover, his Saiai knew he'd be late and had not wanted him to have to cook.   "It smells great."**

**He didn't release him, for a few moments he held him and softly kissed him until Kakashi relaxed into him.  It was very important for his precious lover to feel deeply loved, Jiraiya being gone was very stressful for him**. 

 

_Kakashi snuggled against his partner, everything was ok, Ibiki was here and Jiraiya would be back soon then everything would be the way it was before._

_Feeling his beloved's body against his reminded him of earlier in the day... the exceptional man's muscles flexing as he moved.  Although focused on sparring at the time, now he was free to think about the impressive sight of his lover's body as he sparred.  He was glad he'd been able to see his lover spar and very grateful it had been him that got to spar his incredible partner.   _

_Sparring with Ibiki had brought to mind a few of the other times he'd seen him fight... although the last time wasn't so pleasant.  Seeing the man he loved coated in blood and fighting the loathsome Orochimaru while Jiraiya desperately tried to stop the invading army of Orochimaru clones... that one was still a disturbing memory... but even that had a bit of good in it.  The look in Ibiki's eyes when he saw him perched on the wall waiting for Orochimaru to be backed into his reach was a good memory.  If Ibiki and Jiraiya had died that day his life would have never become this, he would not have known how wonderful it felt to be loved and wanted._

 

**The expression on his beloved's face was a bit worrisome and Ibiki decided that the ramen could wait a bit longer, he wanted to hear his partner cry out in pleasure and wipe the anxious look from his face.  Ibiki nuzzled his lover's throat, "I need to touch you Saiai... to feel the man I love beneath me."**

**Kakashi looked surprised, then delighted, his hands slipping beneath Ibiki's shirt to stroke gently over the sensitive scarred expanse of his chest.  Ibiki groaned, "Your touch is heavenly Saiai."**

 

Kakashi unfastened Ibiki's shirt and placed kisses over his chest, occasionally flicking his tongue over a scar and bringing a ecstatic moan from his beloved.  Kakashi wished Jiraiya was there too, teasing them both with brushes of his fingers and tempting words.

 

**Ibiki led his Saiai into the bedroom, stripped his lover's clothes off, then his own.  Kakashi lay on the bed as he undressed, watching him, his gaze appreciative as it traveled over his body, and the interest he showed was demonstrated by every soft jump of his cock as he flushed harder.  Ibiki was tempted to lick his partner's cock but if he grew upset there was no one to help them deal with the situation.**

**It was astounding how much they relied on Jiraiya's love, support and understanding, he was the stability that he and Kakashi needed so greatly.  As he kissed his enthralling lover's body he listened to the urgent cries he gave, the sound always excited him greatly, as did the knowledge that this incredibly sexy man desired him... wanted him!**

 

Ibiki lay down on top of him licking his nipples and teasing his throat, Kakashi could feel his partner's engorged cock pressed against him and gave in to his need, "Please fuck me... I want you in me!" 

 

Ibiki felt so good laying on top of him, but his beloved would not fuck him until he'd prepared him well, it was a bit easier to wait knowing how much his partner feared hurting him... both his partners.  He didn't want to always have to be treated so carefully, but he would accept it rather than ever upset either of his lovers.

 

**Ibiki groaned softly, "You are so tempting Saiai!"**

**He slipped down to between his partners legs, placing kisses over his inner thighs as he drew lube and then teased the sensitive flesh of his entrance, feeling it loosen to accept his touch inside.  Ibiki's finger slid inside the tight grasp, his desire was rising rapidly at the enticing tight hold and the sight of his beloved's excitement.  Kakashi's inviting lips were parted, panting at the sensation of his finger pumping into his body.  His seductive lover's eyes were dark with lust and his hips rocked into the thrusts of his fingers.  Ibiki groaned slowly working another finger in and hearing his partner cry out in pleasure.**

**He wished the feel of fingers inside him brought the same untainted ecstasy to him as it did for his Saiai... maybe it would someday, but for now he would enjoy the things he was now free to do.   Ibiki cautiously pressed another finger into the tempting grasp slowly stroking until his beloved's muscles relaxed in eager welcome.  Then once more slipped up to cover him, feeling his Saiai draw his legs up to bent.**

**Carefully he pushed in, feeling his lover's shivers of need and his own growing lust, but held back from fucking him.** **Ibiki kissed him, then slowly rolled his hips.**

 

_Kakashi gasped arching up into him. "That... do that again... please!"  Both his partner's were such spectacular lovers!_

_When Ibiki rocked his hips then repeated the slow circle, Kakashi cried out and clung to him, wrapping his legs loosely around his beloved's waist and pleading, "I need you so much, want to feel your powerful body.  Your muscles flexing as to thrust into me!"_

_Ibiki gave a soft groan and began carefully fucking him, his strokes gradually growing faster as he became sure he would not hurt him._

_Kakashi trembled and cried out breathlessly, "Oh... you feel so good!"  He wanted to rock into his lover's thrusts but didn't, he wouldn't take the chance it would distress him._

 

**As the fevered men reached their climax Ibiki teased Kakashi's ear, his fast pants of pleasure caressing the damp skin and making his beloved writhe and cum again... to his surprise his Saiai retaliated by tracing the scars on his throat with light strokes of his tongue, Ibiki gave a moan of ecstasy his hips bucking again and the two men now lay sated.**

 

This was one of the times Kakashi valued most, the feel of his satisfied lover covering him, the sensation of his cock still inside him connecting their bodies... this 'bond' made him happy and all the troubles in his everyday life melted away.

 

 

==== **(DAY 2)** ==================================

 

Jiraiya frowned.  It was only his first day in the port town and yet it felt like he'd been away from his lovers for weeks.  From the moment he met the producer he'd been frustrated.  The famous producer, Nanibou Gouman, was very arrogant and felt no urge to conclude their deal quickly.  Often, in just the last few hours, Jiraiya had wondered if he listened at all. 

 

Wahon, his publisher, looked no more thrilled at listening to the producer's 'ideas' than he felt.  Gouman was not proposing any serious changes to his novel, this should have been a fast and easy signing of papers, but the self important man wanted to 'fill them in' on every detail.  Jiraiya was certain it was just that he was glad for a captive audience.

 

"I need to meet your lover, the character is based off of her right?"  The producer insisted.

 

Jiraiya was barely listening to the self important man, but Gouman's insistent  statement immediately caught his attention and turned the conversation serious.  This he would not waiver even slightly on, he  firmly shook his head, "No, you do not need to meet him."

 

Wahon mainly quietly watched, but Jiraiya's reply brought a quick nod of agreement from the reserved man.  The publisher knew him well after so many years, that was not an option, he knew Jiraiya did not involve his partners in matters to do with his novels.

 

Gouman shrugged, "I'll just talk to him and I'll get a feel for the character, then I'll typecast a female for the role to attract the young female movie patrons we will be gearing this film towards."

 

"No."  Jiraiya corrected a bit more firmly.  "You will not approach my lovers, cast whatever type of character you choose, but do not harass my partners."  He was serious, this was not something he'd ever agree to no matter how insistent Gouman was.  Still, he knew the egotistical man would continue to try to convince him for the rest of the night so ended the discussion,  "I am tired."  Jiraiya rose, "This is not up for negotiation, you will not contact my lovers in any way." 

 

Jiraiya's publisher also rose and quietly walked away, it was clear he'd had enough as well.   Wahon disliked conflict and noise, it was the reason he lived in a very small town and why Jiraiya came to him instead of him traveling.

 

Jiraiya turned and walked out the door, he returned to his suite.  Sitting there was very depressing, but he couldn't take anymore of the producers unending monolog.  He wanted to go down and get a drink, but to his dismay he'd been given a room in the very same inn where he'd threatened to destroy it because of how they were treating Ibiki... in other words the place fell nearly silent every time he was in the tavern.

 

Jiraiya sat on the bed looking out the window at the cove and the boats along the shore, this did not make him feel any better.  The despair he'd felt as he got on the boat for the Land of Lightning was made very fresh by the sight.

 

Jiraiya debated trying to find another tavern but concluded that it was very likely he'd be treated the same, by now everyone knew about his behavior... no, he'd remain here.  He was still very worried about Kakashi, even knowing that if he was badly injured he'd be brought to him by Gamaken... and he missed both his lovers greatly.  This was just the first day in the port town, how long would he need to stay?

 

 

==== **(DAY 3)** =================================

 

Gouman had to travel very swiftly and he was exhausted, booking the coaches had been expensive, but all this would be worth it.  He would ask around as soon as he got to the village and find out who Jiraiya's lover was.  He'd just talk to him for a bit, then return to the waiting coach and hurry back to the port, he was sure his assistant was successfully keeping the author and his publisher from finding out he'd left. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi was tense, he completed the ANBU mission he was on, he'd pulled it off but nearly lost the rookie ANBU assigned to provide back up.  Right now Usagi was being healed by the ANBU healers, but Kakashi had delivered the scroll to Ibiki and left.  He did not sit by the man to see if he survived or died, he was in the care of healers, and nothing he said or did would change the outcome... Usagi would either live or die._

_He hated having missions with others for this reason.   Many of his fellow ANBU feared him, some thought him cold or cruel... it wasn't that he did not care if his peers got killed, it was that their safety was in their own hands.  If he could help without affecting the mission he would, but if it would affect the mission they were on their own. The missions he was assigned were involving things more important than one man's life and they were out there for the same reason he was, they were willing to give their life to complete the essential mission.  If they were not willing to die to complete the mission then they should not be there._

_It never bothered him before... being thought heartless... or maybe it had and he'd just buried it with every other feeling he'd had.   He couldn't bear the villagers watching him right now, he wasn't normal and he never would be._

_Kakashi ducked out of sight and made the hand signs to appear in the living room... he'd take a shower then he wasn't sure what he'd do, it was highly unlikely Ibiki would be home tonight... he had many important missions going on.  He did not want to be sitting at home alone missing his lovers, he decided he would check in at the mission desk and see if there was any missions available... solo missions._

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

**His Saiai had looked stressed, the man who'd been assigned as backup had not been ready for such a high level mission... he'd be ok, but Ibiki knew his beloved was conflicted.  He hadn't stayed to find out if the man was alive, but Ibiki knew it was because his lover felt guilt every time he choose to complete a mission over abandoning it and bringing his teammate to safety.  As an ANBU it was the right choice, but it ate away at him inside... they really needed Jiraiya home, they both had come to depend on his support.**

**Ibiki wished he could leave to go talk to his Saiai, but it just wasn't possible, he had other men on dangerous missions and essential information to secure.  The Hidden Grass Village was showing signs of 'unrest'... in other words there was a power struggle going on, the village elders and many of the ruling council members had been assassinated.**

**What the Hidden Grass Village did about that would affect relations between the villages.  Ibiki was in the process of determining if it was a completely internal power grab or the efforts of another village to weaken the village and invade.  It was a well known tactic of the Hidden Rain Village... if it was the Hidden Rain Village he had to know if they had plans to cause problems for the other villages, such as The Hidden Leaf Village.  Security would need to be tightened in the Leaf Village until more information was known... it was likely he'd be here all night and his beloved would be alone.**

 

 

==== **(DAY 4)** =========================

 

Gouman sighed, he was finally in the Leaf Village... not very friendly people.  It had been a bit complicated convincing the men at the gate to let him come in and he hadn't anticipated this much difficulty finding the man.  When Gouman asked around, people had been reluctant to talk, but eventually he found the right person and got a description.  Hmmm... platinum blonde hair, slender build... but he heard the man wore a mask, that was not something that would work.  Top actresses were notoriously vain and asking one to even partly cover her face would put an end to her signing on for the movie. 

 

Gouman waited for Kakashi, Jiraiya's lover, to walk by then stepped out in front of him, stopping him and asking, "You're Jiraiya's lover right?" 

 

He'd just antagonize him a little and see how he reacted, it would give him a good start on defining the character so he could cast it.  Kakashi just looked at him with a indifferent gaze and waited.

 

Gouman grinned, "I asked around... he and I just spent quite a bit of time together in the port city.  He's quite a lover.  I haven't had that much fun in a long time, he wanted you to know he may be gone a bit longer than he'd planned.  He seemed as eager to continue this 'vacation' as I am, I told him I'd let everyone here know so we could continue 'spending time together'."  He gave a lecherous smirk, but Kakashi's expression didn't change.

 

_He didn't believe him, Jiraiya didn't want anyone but he and Ibiki, and this was a waste of time.  He had just returned from both an ANBU mission and standard mission back to back and wanted to be in the quiet of his house.  He turned and started to walk away.  He sensed the movement behind him just as the lewd man grasped his arm and swiftly turned, striking him fluidly in the solar plexus and then face.  Then he resumed walking as the man dropped down and lay in the street trying to get air into his lungs and not choke on the blood from his shattered nose._

_Kakashi's skin was crawling at the foul touch, only the fact he could not express emotion kept him from swiftly whipping through the hand signs and appearing at home.  As soon as he could step out of sight he immediately made the hand signs._

_He quickly stripped his clothes off as he went to the shower and scrubbed at his lower arm.  Shuddered at the memory and washed his arm again, he wished Jiraiya was here.  Right after he showered he'd go spend time with Ibiki, he needed to be near one of his lovers._

 

**Ibiki scanned the report and shook his head, only one thing saved that man from being a corpse, Kakashi had heard him move and held back the force of his strikes.  The man was an idiot provoking a nin and it was especially dangerous right now.  Ibiki locked up all his paperwork and stepped outside the ANBU building, then he made the hand signs and appeared in the living room.**

**He was very concerned, they were used to Jiraiya being there to soothe them, but their partner wasn't here and his Saiai had been alone and distressed since he'd returned from his ANBU mission.  He knew Kakashi had chosen to take a standard over night mission rather than stay home, he was probably exhausted, and now a visitor to the Leaf Village had touched him.  This time he would make the time to take care of him just as he should have the night before.  His men could easily find him if anything happened, the missions were complete and reports were in, he could take a few moments to calm his beloved.**

**Ibiki walked into the bedroom, he could hear the shower running, he'd known Kakashi would be here.  He stripped his clothes off and walked in to cup his lover from behind, placing soft comforting kisses over his Saiai's shoulders as his hand covered the now reddened area of his partner's arm.  His beloved's hand flexed at the urge to continue scrubbing the 'feel' of the man's touch away, but he stilled, his eyes on Ibiki's hand covering the area.**

 

_Even though the skin was sore, his lover's touch felt good... soothing.  He relaxed back against his beloved feeling the solid warmth of him.  Then turned to face him and Ibiki brought the abraded forearm up, placed a light kiss on it then caressed his cheek, "It's gone, only my touch remains."  Kakashi nodded and lay against him, his hand laying over his partner's heart_.

 

**"I don't like it... I hate the feel of it... I wanted to hurt him so much."  Kakashi softly stroked Ibiki's chest as he spoke as if trying to soothe him.  He enclosed his Saiai a bit more firmly and heard his lover give a deep sigh, his tension ebbing away under the reassurance.**

**The 'funny' thing was, as harsh as what a civilian would think Kakashi reacted, in an ANBU's eyes he'd barely reacted at all.  Even some 'regular' nin would feel he reacted with restraint.  ANBU were trained to kill anything that threatened them or their mission, and his gorgeous lover had been ANBU since he was a child.  He grew up with the training to kill threats immediately as part of his everyday life... it left him isolated and unable to function as a normal villager could, his values askew and no practical knowledge of any other alternatives.  It would not have seemed wrong to have killed him and yet his partner had not.  "My beautiful Saiai, I'm sorry he touched you, I know how it distresses you."**

**Kakashi looked up cupped his cheek, "I'm ok, I'm sorry I made you worry.  I think I'll return to the ANBU building with you, I want to go train.  Can we transport?  I don't want to walk."**

**Ibiki nodded, no he was not 'ok' he was shaken and distrustful.  He had just returned from 48 hours of active mission status, he was worn out, but now too anxious to relax.  Ibiki washed his beloved rubbing and loosening his muscles, then they dried and dressed... Kakashi in full uniform once more.**

**The two men made the hand signs and appeared outside the ANBU HQ, when they walked in his Saiai went to the stairs leading down to the lower training levels.**

**Ibiki walked into his office and pulled out the reports he'd been reviewing when he'd gotten the patrol report about the man touching his lover.  He picked up the new patrol report that was placed on his desk, nothing of interest... aside from the fact Tsunade had Nanibou Gouman, the man who'd touched Kakashi, pitched out the gate and banned him from ever returning.  From the report it was clear she'd been 'dangerously' upset, with her strength it was possible she would have killed him if it wasn't for Raidou stepping forward.  In his usual quiet respectful manner he convinced her that he would remove him... Ibiki noted Raidou was not gentle, the man did not get up for quite a bit after Raidou 'removed' him from the village.  The reserved man did not like anyone upsetting women... and as an ANBU he was particularly displeased with him grabbing his peer.**

**Nanibou Gouman had gotten lucky again, there were times when Tsunade was more dangerous than any nin and one was when she felt Jiraiya was threatened.  She felt a very strong need to 'protect' them for Jiraiya, she was the second person who could have very easily killed him for his act of stupidity.**

 

_Kakashi did not feel comfortable in the ANBU building right now, he'd hoped it would be calming but it was a reminder that he still didn't know if Usagi had survived.  He tried to focus and  trained hard trying to work off the distress he still felt at being touched while walking through the village, the uncertainty of not knowing if Usagi was ok... and the knowledge that many of his peers would be looking at him like he was a monster..._

_His chakra flared and the chidori he was striking the training dummy with shattered the wood, completely destroying it and turning the wood into shards that covered the floor.  Training right now may not have been the best idea, Kakashi made the hand signs appearing at home again._

_He couldn't walk right now, if someone accidentally touched him he may hurt them very badly... When his lovers were with him he didn't feel as exposed, like everyone was watching him... he felt safe.   He missed Jiraiya so much._

_If he stopped walking through the village again it would make Jiraiya sad, when it was time, he would walk to the ANBU building so he could walk with Ibiki home.  Just like he and Jiraiya always did, even if he felt uncomfortable, he wouldn't let what happened change that._

 

 

==== **(DAY 5)** =============================

 

Jiraiya was growing more uneasy with every day that passed, this was taking so long.  He hadn't even been talking to the producer for the last three days, only the assistant and all she could do was nod and say, 'I'll talk to him about that...' or  'I'm sure he's almost ready to finalize the papers...'

 

This was just a waste of time, she didn't have the authority to make any decisions.  He was trying to have patience, but it was clear this was some kind of delaying tactic and he was losing what little patience he had left.  He worried about his lovers constantly and longed to feel them in his arms, he should not be away from them.

 

\--------------------------

 

_After Ibiki left that morning, Kakashi walked through the village to the missions office.  Although he could have taken the day off after the missions, there was no point.  He had nothing to do and sitting in the house alone was not pleasant, it only made him miss Jiraiya more.  He didn't sleep well now, he kept waking up because he something was 'off', he didn't feel the familiar warmth of his partner beside him.  He was hoping there would be a mission to take his mind off missing his lover and the other things plaguing his mind right now._

_To his disappointment there were no missions available, he did not wish to be out in the village and he  decided to go home.  Iruka stood waiting as he walked out of the ADMIN. building and when Kakashi glanced over, Iruka quietly asked, "May I walk with you?"_

_Kakashi nodded, he was a bit uncomfortable, but not as greatly as he usually was when people were so near and Iruka walked with enough distance between them that he would not accidentally touch him.   He didn't look over at him, but he was aware of every look the gregarious Chunin gave him._

_Iruka looked over his eyes worried, "I heard about that stranger grabbing you... are you ok?"_

_Iruka's concern surprised Kakashi into glancing over, then his gaze returned to the street before him again, but he answered, "I am ok..."  he hadn't planned to say anymore but his words came without hesitation.  "Why do you care about me?"_

_Iruka smiled softly, "You are a good person, I like you."_

_Now Kakashi was really confused, "I hurt people."_

_Iruka nodded, but replied, "Many people do, but the real pain they do to others is lying and deceiving others.  You are honest and your words when you speak can be trusted.  Defending yourself from being touched, your rights violated, is not wrong."  Iruka paused, and Kakashi stopped to look at him, "I'm probably causing you distress by walking with you, I just wanted to make sure you are ok."_

_Kakashi was silent for a minute as he thought about it, then honestly replied, "You are not distressing me."_

_Iruka gave a happy smile, "I am glad, if you don't mind I will walk with you a bit more.  I need to go this way to meet someone in the park."_

_Kakashi quietly replied, "I don't mind."  He was surprised that this wasn't as uncomfortable as it once would have been, he was used to walking beside his lover's now... somehow this was a bit like that.  With Iruka beside him he didn't feel like he was being watched as much.  Before he'd received his partners love he often slipped through the trees or transported places, he had not walked along the road... before he couldn't accept the attention.   Just as Jiraiya had promised, things were getting a bit easier... at least this one thing was_.

 

 

==== **(DAY 6)** =====================

 

Jiraiya was ready for another day of unproductive  nonsense from producer Gouman's aide, but was shocked to see Gouman there waiting to talk instead.  He studied the producer with concern, Gouman looked terrible, two black eyes and bruising over his clearly broken nose.  Someone had hit him... very hard, "What happened?  Are you ok?" 

 

As he approached Jiraiya could tell by his stiff movements that his ribs were taped, whoever did this had done more than hit him, someone had beat him up pretty badly. 

 

"Yes..."  Gouman looked embarrassed and a bit annoyed as he stopped before Jiraiya.  "Your lover did not react well to me going to talk to him."

 

Jiraiya's concern disappeared and he looked at him coldly for a moment, then gave a very disgusted shake of his head.  "You went to talk to him even after I directly stated for you not to.  What did you say to him?"  It could not have been Ibiki, his Koishii was extremely gentle, he had to have upset Kakashi very much.

 

"Well, it wasn't exactly my words, he just ignored those and tried to walk away."  Gouman replied, his tone indignant.

 

"Tried?"  Jiraiya inquired with rising hostility.

 

"Yes, he hit me and then walked away!  I only reached out and took his arm..."  The producer's voice faltered as he saw the fury in Jiraiya's eyes.

 

Jiraiya was fighting his urge to swear, "You have no idea how much I want to hit you right now, but I'm not sure I'd be as careful not to kill you as he was."

 

Gouman blanched and verbally back pedaled, "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to upset either of you." 

 

Jiraiya gave him a scornful look, "I am quite sure you did mean to upset him, maybe not with your touch but your words."  Jiraiya walked away he was furious and he couldn't even look at the fool right now... a stranger to the Leaf village and he grabbed Kakashi... damn!  Beaten was nothing, he was lucky to be alive and he wouldn't remain alive if he didn't get away from the fool right now. 

 

Now he knew why they'd only been dealing with Gouman's assistant for the last few days, right after talking to him about wanting to 'meet' his lover, and being told not to, the man had went to go do it anyway!

 

It took a bit to calm, but as he did he debated just leaving.  The 'negotiations' were not important and he truly did not care if they made the novel into a movie.  All he could think about was his lovers and ever since leaving he been worried about his Myobu.   Hearing Kakashi had been 'threatened' made him want to be home holding and kissing them even more than before.  He should not be here, he should be home with his lovers making sure nothing happened to either of them.  Jiraiya didn't care if the tavern fell silent, he got a bottle of Sake and sat watching the door, deep in thought about what had happened.

 

The fact that the fool had to be hurting quite badly after traveling with taped ribs, did not calm his anger much but it helped slightly.  But more than angry he was worried, his Myobu was touched by a stranger, it distressed him greatly being touched by his peers and the fact it was not even someone from the village that he was familiar with... it had to have been very hard for him to handle.

 

Wahon came and sat down at the table, his publisher gave him an understanding look, he'd known Jiraiya for a very long time.  Seen the heartbreak he'd lived and understood what was going through his mind.  He coaxed, "Just stay until tonight, if he doesn't get the remaining papers ready we'll walk."

 

Jiraiya looked at his friend thankfully.  Wahon was willing to leave and drop the negotiations, it would mean the end of the movie deal; loss of quite a bit of money and the chance to promote Jiraiya's other novels but he was willing.  "Thank you."

 

Wahon nodded, poured himself a cup of sake and sipped, "He seriously thought he should get an idea what your lover was like so he could cast a female lead that would match the character... even after you told him you didn't want him 'interviewing' them.  Unbelievable stupidity." 

 

Wahon had seen Kakashi when Jiraiya had come to drop off his finished novel, although they had not spoke, he'd been a bit intimidated by the 'deadly calm' of Jiraiya's partner and clearly thought the producer had to have completely lost his mind to approach him.

 

Jiraiya nodded, he'd calmed greatly and one thing came to mind that he now found highly amusing and he was sure his friend would find it amusing as well.  "The Leaf village has medical healers."

 

Wahon thought about it for a moment then softly laughed, "He still had a broken nose!"

 

Jiraiya smiled,  "And taped ribs.  They didn't heal him... that was probably Lady Tsunade's doing."

 

Wahon nodded and sipped on his sake, "So your friends doing well?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, "She's well."

 

Wahon smiled, "Glad to hear it."

 

The two men relaxed, sipping on the bottle of Sake and neither was surprised when it was Gouman's assistant that delivered the final contract to them to be signed.  Jiraiya signed the form, rose and went to go pack up.  It was done, he'd leave tonight.

 

 

==== **(DAY 7: EVENING)** ====================

 

_The last few days had been hard, the missions had been very stressful and physically challenging, but what had really made the days difficult was the emptiness he felt every time he thought of Jiraiya... and the nights of waking up because 'something was wrong' only to remember he was gone._

_Kakashi was grateful the day was over and Ibiki was home, the house felt so empty when neither of his lovers were there with him.  His partner walked into the shower and embraced him_.

 

**Kakashi looked tired and Ibiki knew it wasn't just the multiple missions he'd been assigned.  He was glad they were done, his Saiai was not sleeping well and he'd been worried that he would be injured on a mission.  Now that the missions were complete he could send Kakashi to go be Jiraiya's ANBU security... he was sure Tsunade would sign off on it.**

**His Saiai lay back in his arms and softly said, "Ibiki, I need Jiraiya to come home."**

**Ibiki nodded, "Your missions are done..."**

**Kakashi's head suddenly whipped over to the door, Ibiki was not surprised as Jiraiya walked into the bathroom.  He stripped his clothes then wrapped his arms around their slender partner to enclose him between Ibiki and himself with a worried look on his face**. 

 

"Are you ok Myobu?"  Jiraiya held him protectively, "I told him not to come here, I'm so sorry."  He kissed his temple.  "I was so upset when he said he touched you, I wanted to come home immediately."

 

Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's face tenderly, "I'm glad you're home, we missed you."

 

"I love you Koishii," Jiraiya massaged Ibiki's back and kissed him lovingly, "I missed you both so much.   I needed to come back, I can't bear being away from you both."

 

Kakashi looked up and stroked his face, "I love you."

 

Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, "I love you my precious Kitsune.  I should have been here and kept him from touching you."

 

_Kakashi lay his head against Jiraiya's broad chest it felt so good to lay against him and hear the steady beat of his heart.  "You didn't know he'd come, you told him not to.  I am ok, don't worry."  Then he looked up at his partner and stated, "I hit him... twice."_  

 

His Myobu was not proud, simply stating it because he wanted him to know, much like when he told Ibiki he killed Samoshii... there was a pure honesty to him.  It was like it did not occur to him to hide the truth from them.  He lay his head back against Jiraiya's chest again.

 

"That is not wrong my cherished one, you are allowed to react how you feel.  You look tired my Kitsune." Jiraiya stroked his beloved's back, feeling him in his arms brought him joy.  Kakashi nodded, although he  didn't lift his head from against Jiraiya's chest, he looked relieved at the confirmation that he did not react 'wrong'.

 

_Kakashi sighed his tension melting away as he lay with his head on his beloved's chest, protectively embraced between his lovers he felt happy.   Everything would be fine now, Jiraiya was home and he wouldn't leave again.  Kakashi smiled, "I like to feel both my partners holding me."_

 

**Ibiki nuzzled his Saiai's neck and placed a soft kiss there, "I love the feel of you in my arms."   Kakashi gasped, his lips parted in a pant as he looked back over his shoulder at him.  From the amused smile and desire in Jiraiya's gaze it was clear Kakashi's body had eagerly responded to the temptation.  Ibiki's cock had swollen with need just feeling his sexy lover against him and now that Kakashi was aroused there was no doubt Jiraiya was as well.**

 

_Jiraiya's finger stroked down his chest, circling his nipple with light waves of chakra that slowly teased him to urgently aroused.  Kakashi didn't want to give up the wonderful feel of both his lover's, not even to be prepared, he looked back at Ibiki, "Please thrust against me."_

_Ibiki groaned, his voice husky with desire as he replied, "That's an offer I would not refuse even if I could my seductive Saiai."_

 

Jiraiya smiled his hand continuing down to enclose Kakashi's erection, stroking slowly as Ibiki thrust against the part of their lover's ass.  His hand only stroked the shaft teasing him until his cries were fevered and he was bucking into his hand seeking more stimulation.  Ibiki moaned loudly as the rapid thrusts quickly stroked his cock.

 

Jiraiya watched his two lovers, their cries were so sweet, he'd missed them every moment he'd been gone.   His sensual Myobu's pleading mews turned to loud gasps as Jiraiya's thumb rested at the base of his erection and his finger brushed a pulse of chakra over the engorged head at the top of each stroke.  His urgent cries were quickly joined by Ibiki's.

 

Jiraiya was surprised and delighted when his Koishii drew back and slipped his cock between their lover's thighs, every thrust rubbing Kakashi's balls until he was too breathless to cry out.  Then Jiraiya lifted his thumb and stroked his cock fast.  His enthralling beloved howled as he bucked into his touch, his thigh muscles tightening around Ibiki's swollen length and both men cried out in release. 

 

_It was good his lovers had him cupped between them he was trembling so hard at the strength of his orgasm that his legs were weak!  His partners were amazing!  Kakashi lay against Jiraiya's chest caressing him and delighting in his strong chest muscles as his lovers kissed.  He could feel Jiraiya's hard cock pressed against him, as his partners broke their kiss, Kakashi glanced down at Jiraiya's erection then back at Ibiki. He smiled and nodded, and they turned their attention to teasing Jiraiya's tempting body._

_Kakashi brushed his fingers over the tender skin of his lover's pelvis, then traced an enticing path up the hard length of his cock as Ibiki slipped around to behind Jiraiya._

 

**Ibiki placed kisses over his Koishii's back his hands lightly brushing over the cheeks of his ass and tracing the part.  Jiraiya's soft moans and the flex of his muscles as he remained still was very quickly arousing him.  The feel of his body beneath his hands brought joy along with his rapidly growing desire.**

 

Jiraiya felt Ibiki's cock harden and leaned back into his partners body, feeling Ibiki's arms wrap around his body, his hands stroking adoringly over the sensitive skin of his chest and stomach.  He needed them so much!  Longed for their touches and kisses the whole time he was gone... hungered for their caresses and words of love so greatly!

 

_Kakashi's hand enclosed his rigid flesh and fondled his balls as he watched Jiraiya's face delighting in the moans of ecstasy every caress from he and Ibiki brought from their beloved.  This was how it was supposed to be, both his lovers touching and giving each other pleasure, filling him with happiness at every cry. And both his lovers giving him pleasure and getting pleasure from him... this was perfect and he could never ask for more_.

 

**Ibiki cradled his Koishii to his body and pressed slowly into the tight hold, both men groaned loudly at the pleasure.   Jiraiya's muscles grasped and flexed wantonly around his rigid length, tempting him until he gave in and started fucking him.  His delighted lover rocked his hips meeting his every thrust and gave loud cries of ecstasy as every thrust forward drove his cock into Kakashi's teasing grasp.  The pleasure grew so rapidly  that they quickly reached their orgasm, both giving rapturous moans as they sated their bodies**.

 

Jiraiya relaxed against his Koishii, Ibiki remained embracing him as their bodes calmed, but Kakashi slipped down to in front of him and dipped his head licking the cum from the head of his cock.  Jiraiya groaned at the tease and stroked his face, "Gorgeous Kitsune."

 

He could feel Ibiki cock jump as his lover's sated flesh tried to harden within him, their sensual partner was the ultimate temptation but his Koishii's needs were satisfied and his body just couldn't respond no matter how extremely erotic their beloved was.

 

_Kakashi looked up to see both his lovers looking down at him, their eyes dark with desire, he smiled.  It always made him feel good that he could excite them and give them pleasure like they gave him. He rose and caressed Jiraiya's chest lightly._

_Ibiki groaned as he withdrew and teased, "Between our seductive lover and the wonderful feel of your body you make me wish we could do this all night!"_

 

Jiraiya laughed as Kakashi's curious gaze fell to Ibiki's gratified cock, but he didn't tease him and the shower continued as it usually did.  The three men kissed and washed each other, the strokes of their hands over their partners more caresses of love than the intent to wash them.

 

**When they'd finished and dried, Ibiki looked over at his lovers, "I have not cooked a meal yet. I can whip something up for us."**

**Jiraiya looked guilty, but asked, "I just want to hold you both for a bit longer... but I'm sure you both are hungry."  He gave a sheepish smile, "It feels like I was gone so long... can you tell me... things I missed?"**

**Ibiki embraced him and Kakashi stroked his back softly, their partner felt insecure, he feared losing any part of the time they had together... he feared losing them.**

 

He couldn't help feeling like he'd 'missed' parts of their life together, he'd lost lovers so often in the past that he worried about missing all the little things that happened every day.  Those 'little things' had been the only thing he'd had to hold on to when his lovers left... but Ibiki and Kakashi would not leave.

 

Everything was ok, his partners were giving him understanding looks and their gentle caresses soothed.  He drew a deep breath and released it along with his tension.  He felt a better now, he could see his lovers understood his strange request and the reason behind it.  Jiraiya smiled, "You and Kakashi can fill me in on anything that happened while we make our meal."

 

Ibiki smiled tenderly, kissed him and Kakashi nodded, they went to the kitchen and as Ibiki cooked everything felt... right.  He was home.

 

=================================================

 

END OF CHAPTER 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 35: ANYWHERE BUT HERE (HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS)


	36. NOTHING COMES EASY (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 36)

**NOTHING COMES EASY (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 36)**

=============================

 

Several months had passed since his signing the contract for Nanibou Gouman to make a film based on his last novel.  The news it had been released and was doing very well should have been good news, but it looked like it would only bring further complications.

 

Jiraiya had come to sit with his friend, he was troubled and she usually put things in perspective with her dry humor.

 

Tsunade relaxed back in her chair studying him, she could see something was bothering him.  "Hear the film based on your novel is out... that was quick."

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "The self important fool probably started working on setting everything up and getting everything ready for filming long before he asked for the rights to use my novel.  In his eyes there would have been no way I could ever have said no to someone so famous... he almost lost that gamble and right now I wish I'd have walked away and never gave him the right."

 

Tsunade smirked and teased, "Still angry about his grabbing your lover?"

 

Behind the playful taunt Jiraiya saw a stubborn set to her jaw, even if he 'forgave' it, Tsunade never would and the man would remain banned from entering the Leaf village.

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "Although I still find that very difficult to accept, for many reasons, but it's not because of that."

 

Tsunade studied his face curiously and Jiraiya went on, "The movie is... popular."

 

"Why do you sound like that is not a good thing?"  Tsunade asked seriously, all humor had fled at his grim tone.

 

Jiraiya sighed, "They want me to go on a movie promotion tour, book signing and being interviewed."

 

Tsunade immediately replied, "Refuse if you don't want to do it."  It was clear in her tone that she didn't want him to go.

 

Jiraiya smiled affectionately, but corrected.  "It's not that simple... if I do that, there will be an endless stream of interviewers, fans and producers trying to get a deal to make movies of other books all coming here."

 

Tsunade laughed and tried to lighten his spirits, "Sounds great for the market and shop owners."

 

But he knew that his friend was aware that wasn't the real problem.  "As my lovers, Ibiki and Kakashi will be in the center of all this... people approaching them trying to interview them... harassing them... Tsunade, it will be hell for them." 

 

She nodded somberly, she knew both the men very well.  Ibiki would find it very distressing, but try to hide it... Kakashi, well another incident like the one with Nanibou Gouman was very likely to happen... possibly many times.  "I can try banning  the reporters from the village, but you know it will only stir them into a greater frenzy."

 

Jiraiya gave her a thankful look, but they both knew it would not work.  "Even if they were kept out it would be like a festival grounds outside the gate.  Then there's still the 'Love' letters... ridiculous gifts... Not to mention the few who will openly hostile about me and my 'porn', sending barely veiled threats and slurs."

 

Tsunade sighed, her words were playful but they were stated with grim seriousness, "It's hard being Mr. Popularity."  She poured herself a drink and one for Jiraiya.

 

Shizune came in with papers and was about to chastise them, but her playful act of annoyance disappeared at the serious looks on their faces.   She leaned against the window sill, "What's the issue?"

 

"Jiraiya's movie's popularity is starting to cause complications... we are brainstorming.  They want a book signing to promote the film."  Tsunade looked over at her partner with undisguised affection, her 'aide' was taking this seriously.

 

Shizune looked deep in thought for a moment, then nodded, "The influx of reporters will be difficult to handle.  It will be difficult to keep security tight when you won't be able to check everyone out, we may end up having some security issues..."

 

Jiraiya looked at her in alarm, he was so focused on his own selfish problems, he hadn't even considered that he'd be placing the village in danger.  He met Tsunade's eyes, for him that had made the decision absolute, "I can't stay here."

 

Tsunade immediately wanted to protest, but Shizune was right, she had cut to the serious core of the issues.  But it only took a moment for Tsunade to realize that for her, and his lovers, it was worth the extra work just to keep him here.  They would find solutions to these problems.  She'd made up her mind, "We'll deal with the issues... I want you to stay here Jiraiya."

 

Shizune didn't protest only showed her adaptability and keen mind by beginning to work out plans.  "We should limit it to a set time frame, you will be available for those days only.  We can let everyone know that if the producers and fans cannot get here during the time frame they will have missed their opportunity, no exceptions."

 

Jiraiya smiled at her, he was going to protest his friends insistence that he stay in the village, but Tsunade's very capable 'aide' was already setting up the plans to make it work.  "Thank you Shizune."

 

Shizune smiled and walked over to subtly brush her fingers over Tsunade's, "I can't have you making everyone sad by leaving."  Shizune met his eyes and stated confidently, "Everything has a solution and we will find one to any issues that arise."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I suppose I should get out of here and let Tsunade get some work done."

 

Shizune nodded and chastised, "I'm going to walk out of the room, when I return there better be no sign of... mischief."  She looked pointedly at the Sake bottle, "Now be a good girl and wrap up your play date."  Clearly Shizune had been acquiring a sense of dry humor from her lover.

 

Tsunade scowled at her, then laughed, "Ok, I suppose 'good girl' it is."  They all knew that they'd need to get the plans made up and set in motion quickly, for that she was willing to be a 'good girl'.

 

\-----------------------------

 

Jiraiya was glad he'd gone to talk to his friend, things seemed a bit less like a looming disaster.  He remained a bit solemn as he walked towards the mission office to meet his Myobu so they could go walk with their partner when he got off work... he'd miss this so much.  He'd miss all the delightful little things like stroking his Koishii's hand in public, walking through the village talking about their day... he just needed to remind himself it wouldn't be for long.  For now he still had these pleasures and he would try not to think about it.  They hadn't even set a date or finalized any plan, he had time.

 

Jiraiya looked over as Kakashi drifted up to beside him, he hadn't noticed his lover walking out of the Admin. building,  he moved so silently and Jiraiya had been deep in thought.  Now they headed to see if Ibiki was ready.  Knowing soon he'd be unable to do this, he wished he could touch his Myobu's hand, but he wouldn't do anything that would make his beloved uncomfortable.

 

_Kakashi could feel Jiraiya was unhappy, he was a bit too quiet, and he wondered what was bothering him, when they got to the ANBU  building they could talk... but he didn't want to see his partner sad, he looked up then back at the road ahead, "You are unhappy._ "

 

Jiraiya was surprised when his Myobu softly spoke, his gaze was on the road ahead but he walked a bit closer than he often did.  "A bit.  It's nothing to worry about my Kitsune, I promise." 

 

_Kakashi looked up again and nodded.  He wanted to touch Jiraiya, he was grateful when they walked into the ANBU building and he moved closer so their fingers brushed as they walked to Ibiki's office_.

 

His beloved was so precious, he was trying to soothe him, even though they'd been in public.  When they walked into Ibiki's office and closed the door Jiraiya caught his hand drew down his lover's mask and kissed him tenderly.  "You are my beautiful Myobu, you bring me peace and happiness."

 

Kakashi smiled and cupped his cheek, then looked over and reached his hand out to Ibiki.  He had just locked up the last of his documents in preparation to leave and he walked over to embrace them.

 

[b] **Something was bothering his partners, they could talk about it now and then they could walk home without the tension looming over them.**

**Jiraiya caressed them, "I am so blessed to have you."**

**Ibiki stroked his back and waited.  Jiraiya gave what was supposed to be a comforting smile, but it just seemed like a plea for reassurance.**

**"I was asked to do a book signing, I was thinking I would have to go somewhere... it's going to cause problems."**

**Kakashi looked worried, but just waited, Ibiki caressed his arm lightly as they listened to what was troubling their lover.**

**"Tsunade wants me to stay here, in spite of all the troubles it will cause her... but it won't just cause her troubles, it will cause you both troubles as well... unwanted attention."  Jiraiya explained very apologetically.**

**Kakashi lay his head against Jiraiya's chest looking up at him as he stroked him gently.  "I can accept it... I can accept anything to keep you here."**

**Ibiki caressed his Koishii's face and nodded, "We can handle any problems that occur."**

 

His lovers reaction was expected and yet it eased his heart knowing that they accepted the trouble, just as Tsunade and Shizune had.  This life he had now was nirvana, he felt enclosed in love and protected... he finally found where he belonged and the people who brought him more happiness than he'd ever dreamed having.  "You both are so amazing... let's go home now.  It should be at least a few days before we'll need to start dealing with it."

 

His lover's nodded and the three men walked out of the office and down the road to their house.  Although a bit quieter than usual, it was peaceful and Jiraiya's stress melted away, these were not things they would have to handle yet.

 

_Kakashi watched his lovers at first it was because he was still a bit uneasy, but as the walk continued, his eyes rested more on their bodies than their faces.  He wanted to touch them and feel their touches, he wished they had transported but his lovers enjoyed walking and it made Jiraiya happy that he was becoming more relaxed._

 

\---------------------------------

 

**As they walked in the door, Kakashi immediately stripped, and then began removing Ibiki's clothes.  His Saiai circled around behind him to stroke his back while he removed his shirt.** **Ibiki felt Jiraiya's skilled hands helping strip him, every caress a tease that was easily matched by the exquisite feel of Kakashi now licking and sucking on his sensitive skin. The feel of his Saiai's lips on the scarred flesh drew ecstatic moans and his cock throbbed at the wonderful sensation**.

 

Jiraiya cupped his face and kissed him tenderly, Ibiki's response was heated and their kiss quickly deepened to a fiery passion. 

 

Jiraiya broke the kiss and watched his Myobu finish removing their partner's clothes as he removed his own, then embraced his now bare lover, enjoying the silky brush of his Koishii's hands over his chest.  He watched Kakashi place soft kisses over Ibiki's back.  He wasn't sure exactly why he did it but it felt like the right thing to do as he gently grasped Kakashi's hips, drawing him forward to cup their partner from behind and they stood with Ibiki enclosed between them.

 

**Ibiki felt a chill at the sensation of Kakashi's rigid length against his ass as the two men enclosed him, then Jiraiya nuzzled his brow and quietly coaxed, "Let me feel you rock against me Koishii.  Please let me feel your tempting cock thrusting against me... teasing me with the delight it will bring me as we fuck."**

**Ibiki groaned at the surge of lust his beloved's words brought and rocked his hips, his cock rubbing  against his lover's.**

 

_Kakashi was a bit uncertain, Jiraiya held his hips keeping him pressed against Ibiki's ass.  As Ibiki started thrusting against Jiraiya, Kakashi's erection rubbed along the part of Ibiki's ass... was he really ok with this?_

_His doubts quickly eased, he trusted Jiraiya, if he didn't think their lover could accept it he would not be urging him to cup him like this.  Kakashi placed tender kisses over his beloved's scarred back, the rub of his cock against his lover quickly had him giving needy mews and pants_.

 

**Ibiki heard his Saiai's delighted cries, hearing his sexy lover's pleasure was very arousing!  The ecstasy of his cock thrusting against his Koishii, along with the tease of his Saiai's erection rubbing along the part of his ass, was enflaming his desire until he gave in relaxing the muscles and letting his Saiai's thrusts to go between the cheeks.  This was no different than Jiraiya... he could trust his beloved.  Although he thought that, it remained hard to relax and enjoy it like he did with Jiraiya.  "Saiai, I need... more."  He didn't know how to explain that he needed a distraction, but then Jiraiya's hand dropped to lift Kakashi's hand up to his chest.**

 

_Jiraiya had directed his hand up to their partner's chest and Kakashi felt a spark of chakra play over the back of it.  He understood what his lover desired and started brushing Ibiki's chest with light chakra strokes that grew stronger until Ibiki was urgently bucking against Jiraiya_.[/i]

 

Jiraiya dipped his head to kiss his Koishii's throat as he drew Kakashi's hips tightly forward, so the rub of his cock was firmly over Ibiki's rim and he murmured, "You have the right to tell me to stop."

 

**Ibiki was uncertain, the stimulation was tremendous, but... Ibiki drew a deep breath and tried to relax completely, then replied loud enough for both his precious lovers to hear, "I trust you."**

**He really did trust him, Kakashi would never hurt him just like his Koishii would never hurt him.  He wished it was easier to give his Saiai the same level of trust as he gave Jiraiya, but in time everything would be easier.**

**Kakashi cried out as he came, Ibiki felt a chill at the buck of his cock and the sensation of his cum, but the anxiety only lasted for a moment.   Then Jiraiya released Kakashi, turned in his arms, offering the pleasure of his amazing body.  Ibiki groaned as he pressed into the rapturous hold of his partner's body.  He wasn't sure how long he could resist cumming as his Saiai returned to stroking his back and his Koishii moaned ecstatically at his every thrust.**

**His sexy lovers were driving him mad with lust, he desired them so greatly!  The final tease came when Kakashi slipped around to before Jiraiya, stroking his cock as his beloved gave fevered cries and bucked urgently into his hand.  Ibiki gave in to his body's demand thrusting deep and cumming.  He continued rocking and, as Jiraiya shifted his hips, he gave another buck that brought a rapturous cry from his Koishii as Jiraiya reached his climax.**

**All three men were breathless, Kakashi was panting in excitement at the sight of his lovers passion.  Ibiki groaned as he withdrew and his Saiai stroked his chest happily, "You were enjoying having me thrust against you?"**

**Ibiki replied truthfully, "Yes Saiai."**  

 

Jiraiya turned at smiled at his partners, Ibiki's reply brought a sense of relief, he was glad his Koishii had been ready for this.  The happiness on his Myobu's face was further confirmation that this had been the right thing to do.

 

Kakashi smiled and cuddled into Ibiki, "Thank you for trusting me."

 

Ibiki kissed him tenderly then caressed Jiraiya's face, "Let's go shower then I'll make us something for our evening meal."

 

=========================================

 

The next day Jiraiya waited in the missions office for Kakashi to return from his mission,  Iruka had said he'd pulled a very fast mission and should be back soon.  The office was nearly empty, everyone had gone to lunch except Iruka.   The two men talked about the village and the plans for a larger academy.

 

When Kakashi walked in Iruka turned, "I think I've ignored my responsibilities long enough, I should do some filing."

 

Jiraiya walked over to his beloved, he was surprised to see a flash of happiness in his Myobu's eyes when he walked in and saw him.  Kakashi was more relaxed in public than he'd ever seen him before... of course it was currently only Iruka in the office and he had his back to them conveniently 'filing some reports'.

 

_Kakashi looked across the missions office at the only other person present, Iruka had turned to the file cabinets sorting through papers in it, he was remaining 'busy' and not watching them.  Iruka was giving him these moments to enjoy his lover's touch without worrying about everyone watching him.... Kakashi was thankful for his understanding.  It felt good that he had someone besides his partners who understood him, even a bit._

_Jiraiya enclosed him in his arms nuzzling his throat and he couldn't help giving a little whimper, he wanted Jiraiya, needed to feel his flesh pressed to his lover's intimately.   He could feel his partner's erection pressed to him and feathered a soft brush over it before lifting his hand away._

_Iruka hadn't turned around, but noted lightly, "Your mission was pretty self explanatory, why don't you and Jiraiya go, I can fill out a standard form."_

 

Jiraiya smiled, he was sure one of the reasons Iruka had said that, was one of the same reasons he would not turn around.  Iruka was aroused... his lover's muted whimper could make even a straight male flush hard in need.  His lover was pure seduction, and he was certain Iruka was not straight, very few nin were.  He was tempted to tease Iruka by saying, 'Oh I don't mind waiting while he fills out a report'... but he would be teasing his Myobu too and his beloved was far too tempting to resist any longer.   "Thank you Iruka."

 

The small man nodded, "Have a good day off Kakashi."

 

Kakashi stroked Jiraiya's face as he replied with very little hesitation, "I will... thank you."

 

Jiraiya was proud of his Myobu, he was making impressive progress at learning social interaction.  As they went out into the empty hallway Jiraiya decided they would not walk, he wanted to hear his beloved's cries of pleasure as he touched him and the thought made walking not a very practical... or comfortable, option. 

 

Jiraiya knew Kakashi could easily transport but took the opportunity to tease his lover a bit more.  He drew him close, cupping his captivating Myobu's body from behind with his and feeling his beloved shiver at the feel of his erection pressed against his ass.  Jiraiya kissed his throat and murmured, "I think it would be best if we don't walk." 

 

Kakashi whimpered urgently, Jiraiya wasn't even sure he'd heard what he'd just said, his Myobu was now extremely aroused.  Jiraiya smirked, he loved how incredibly responsive his lover was, in truth that had been as great of a tease of himself as it had been of his beloved.  He made the hand signs and they appeared in the living room.

 

_Kakashi quickly removed his own clothes then helped Jiraiya remove his, he needed  to feel his partner's warm skin beneath his fingers and eagerly caressed his beloved's bare chest.  He panted as Jiraiya grabbed the lube dampened his fingers and drew him into his arms again.  Their erections lay beside each other tempting him, but not as greatly as the knowledge his lover's finger would soon be inside him bringing waves of pleasure._

_Jiraiya's hands trailed lightly down his body to his ass, one kneading the cheek as his slick finger rubbed softly over his rim.  Kakashi mewed and trembled wanting to beg to feel it inside but also not wanting the exquisite brush of his lover's finger to stop._

_Jiraiya's next action firmly swayed him towards the urgent desire to feel his fingers inside.  The tempting finger rested over the center, waves of chakra teasing just barely inside his body and Kakashi moaned pressing back to take it into his tight body... then looked up worried that he'd distressed Jiraiya.  But Jiraiya's eyes held only desire as he pushed slowly into his passage, then shocked a buck from him by sending a strong pulse of chakra deep inside him._

_Kakashi rocked his hips, his body eagerly welcoming the feel of his finger and when he slipped back to just inside the rim, Kakashi shivered in anticipation, then groaned loudly as it slid out and two gently pushed at his entrance, he want to buck back into them but remained still._

 

Jiraiya could see his beloved's desperate need, he'd teased him too long... he pressed his fingers in feeling the muscles eagerly grasp his fingers then relax to allow them deep.  His Myobu's body had loosened enough, if he was careful he would not hurt him.  Jiraiya drew him over to the couch, took the lube stroking his engorged length with a slick hand bringing a longing whimper from his lover. 

 

_Kakashi gasped and trembled in excitement as Jiraiya turned him away, cupped his hips and drew him down slowly on his erection.  His slick passage welcomed the width into the tight hold, and he was delighted by the sensation of it filling him.  As he came to rest with Jiraiya's cock seated to the base he panted and shifted his hips slightly.  When this did not cause pain he gave a careful rock, in this position his lover felt so deep!  Kakashi moaned and lay back against his beloved's chest, enjoying the feel of his partner's hard flesh seated fully in his body.  The sensation of his body stretched around the swollen length of his cock was incredible, it brought such need that he trembled with anticipation at the thought of it moving inside him._

 

Jiraiya enclosed his cock and stroked, he almost told his beloved to tell him if he was hurting him, but stopped himself.  He needed to believe his Myobu would not let him cause pain, but it was difficult... It helped that Kakashi now chose to remain still and let Jiraiya rock slowly into him as he stroked his cock.  Jiraiya watched his partner, the joy on his face as he caressed him, his every cry was so exquisite.  He rested his thumb at the base of his lover's turgid length as he continued teasing those addictive cries of passion from his gorgeous Kitsune.

 

_Kakashi cried out in rapture as Jiraiya ran a trail of chakra up his shaft, he arched keening, his body remained bowed into the ecstasy, fevered by the overwhelming sensations as Jiraiya gave soft bucks against his pleasure spot.  He could feel his lover's very swollen cock deep inside him with every hard contraction of his muscles.  "Jiraiya, you feel so good!"_

 

Jiraiya groaned at the seductive grasp and draw of his partner's body around him; the bowed form allowing gentle bucks and bringing increasingly desperate cries of need from his beloved as his muscles flexed powerfully.  Every time his lover tried to orgasm the draw of his muscle grew stronger.  It was time to end this, his Myobu was too tempting and he would not give in and hurt him. 

 

Jiraiya released the base of his lover's arousal, stroking him rapidly and listening to his wails of rapture in an attempt to distract himself from his need for release.  As his beloved's orgasm started to fade, Jiraiya rocked in him and brushed chakra over the slick head of his cock until his beautiful lover howled as he came again. 

 

Jiraiya smiled, his fingers moved away and he enclosed his sweat soaked partner in his arms placing light kisses on his shoulder.  Then slowly eased him up until only the swollen tip of his erection remained in the perfect grasp of his lover's body.  He groaned loudly at the tease as he shifted his cock free of his Myobu's captivating body.

 

Kakashi turned, straddling his thighs, brushing chakra over the head of Jiraiya's cock and leaning forward to lick his nipples.  Jiraiya cried out in rapture as he was allowed release, sating his need and bring waves of gratification.   Now his Myobu slipped forward, their satisfied bodies unable to grow aroused for the moment, and he placed tender adoring kisses over Jiraiya's chest.  "I love you Jiraiya."

 

Jiraiya cupped his chin and kissed him deeply, he could feel Kakashi's body trying to respond, but only broke the kiss to look sincerely in his lover's eyes, "I love you Myobu, I need you my cherished one... everything about you, the loving caresses and passion, the smiles and cries of pleasure... just feeling you near me brings me so much happiness."

 

Kakashi smiled and hugged him, "I am glad."

 

After a few more moments of stroking their partner's bodies, Jiraiya teased, "I suppose we should shower now so we won't be late going to get Ibiki."  Kakashi nodded.

 

The two men showered and, after they dressed, walked out to go get their lover from work.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

The walk home with their partner was wonderful as always, and when they walked in the door Jiraiya turned to caress Ibiki.  He stroked very slowly down his Koishii's enticing muscular body, by the time he reached his beloved's cock it was swollen with desire.

 

_Kakashi watched as he removed his clothes, his own cock flushing with interest at the sight of his lovers touching.  He loved watching them, hearing their cries of pleasure and seeking their bodies react.  Jiraiya was always doing exciting and unexpected things, and Ibiki's moans were one of the sexiest sounds he'd ever heard!_

Jiraiya slipped down to his knees as he drew Ibiki's pants off and freed his lover's erection.  He saw the flushed head of his Koishii's cock bead with precum at just the heat of his breath over the turgid flesh.  Kakashi watched them breathlessly and Jiraiya teased them both as he mischievously  leaned forward, stuck out his tongue and gathered the salty dew from the slit.

 

**Ibiki moaned, "My sexy Koishii!"  Then cried out at the intensity of his pleasure as his lover's mouth enclosed the tender flesh and swiftly dropped to the base.  Very slowly Jiraiya drew back, by the time he had slipped back to the head Ibiki was giving low groans, trembling at the seduction of his partner's skilled mouth.**

 

Jiraiya released the hot length and took it in his hand as he licked and sucked on his balls.  "Mmm...",  Jiraiya moaned in delight as he enclosed his lover's ball in his mouth, the soft vibration over sensitive area brought a ecstatic cry from his beloved.  He'd teased Ibiki enough; Jiraiya freed the tender orb and took his partner's cock in his mouth again, bobbing and caressing his tempting arousal with his mouth, then dropping to the base.  Ibiki cried out in rapture as his orgasm swept through him, Jiraiya released the gratified length and rose to kiss his Koishii passionately.

 

**After a moment, Ibiki broke their kiss but only to remove Jiraiya's clothes. and he smiled as Kakashi molded his body to Jiraiya's from behind kissing his back as his hands stroked over his lover's pelvis, tracing around the base of his cock and teasing him to needy groans**.

_Jiraiya urged, "Fuck me, my beautiful Kitsune."_

_Kakashi looked uncertainly at Ibiki, he was afraid he'd find it disturbing... or worse think he wanted to feel Ibiki's body grasping his cock.  He still much preferred to be fucked, but he didn't think he could bear to wait until they prepared him.  As he studied Ibiki's face Jiraiya began rocking his hips, rubbing Kakashi's turgid length with the temptation of his ass._

_Kakashi decided he couldn't risk it, but Jiraiya softly asked, "Please Myobu... I want to feel your body against mine..."  His voice dropped to a sensual purr, "Your cock thrusting in to me until I'm breathless, crying out with every deep stroke..."_

_Kakashi whimpered, he needed him so much!_

_"Fuck him Saiai."  Ibiki encouraged.  "Do not avoid things because it may be upsetting."_

_Kakashi nodded, he was doing it again, hesitating when he should be helping Ibiki to get past his limits.  Ibiki wanted them to do anything they desired... but it was difficult to do things his lover may find distressing._

_Kakashi pushed into the hot grasp of Jiraiya's ass, gasping at the incredible pleasure.  He remained uncertain, but as the pleasure rapidly grew, he soon grasped Jiraiya's hips fucking him urgently and listening to his rapturous cries._

Ibiki's hand wrapped around Jiraiya's cock stroking it as his Myobu fucked him.  Jiraiya moaned deeply, excited by the knowledge his Koishii was enjoying touching him... wanting to touch him!  But he did notice even through the ecstasy of his Myobu's cock thrusting into him... his beloved was remaining directly in front of him, unable to see their partner fucking him.

 

His beautiful lover's cries teased him, his beloved urgently desired release.  Jiraiya tightened his muscles around his partner's engorged length and Kakashi gave a rapturous howl as he came.  Jiraiya resisted giving in, he wanted to have his Koishii fuck him... just as he'd given Ibiki oral sex after his beloved had taken him in his throat that first time.  He wanted Ibiki to associate the pleasure their partner had felt with his own pleasure, to feel the ecstasy and know that it was what their lover had been feeling... it may help take some of the anxiety away.  But given that Ibiki was uneasy, it would be best if it was not from behind and in a position where his Koishii was in the dominant position. 

 

Kakashi was placing kisses over his back and Jiraiya groaned softly at the wonderful sensation, his Koishii was looking at where his hand enclosed Jiraiya's erection.  His eyes lifted and as Kakashi slipped around to stroke Ibiki tenderly.  Jiraiya purred, "I want you Koishii."

 

_Kakashi was a bit surprised Jiraiya hadn't cum, but he knew there had to be some reason why Jiraiya felt it important that their partner fuck him now and his being erect had definitely aroused their lover.  Kakashi smiled as Ibiki groaned and teased, "How could I ever resist an offer like that from one of the two sexiest men in the village?"_

_Kakashi was delighted, he loved watching them!  They went into the bedroom and Jiraiya lay on the bed encouraging Ibiki to cover him._

 

Jiraiya wantonly drew his legs up to bent, eager to feel his beloved thrusting into him.  Ibiki moaned, nearly as loud as Jiraiya did as he slowly pushed into his slick passage.  "Oh Koishii!" 

 

Jiraiya was breathless at the intense pleasure, his body now hyperaware after resisting cumming while his sexy Kitsune fucked him.  He clung to his beloved, his urgent need teasing his lover until he was rapturously crying out as he fucked him.

 

_Kakashi hesitated, he wanted to touch Ibiki's ass, but he didn't want to upset him... should he do it?  His lovers wanted him to do the things he desired to do and yet he always resisted.  Kakashi drew the lube over and coated his finger with the slick fluid... he still wasn't sure if he should, but he was going to do it._

 

**Ibiki felt a chill race down his spine as Kakashi slipped a slick finger between his ass cheeks to rest lightly against his rim.  As he fucked Jiraiya his Saiai's slick finger stroked over the highly sensitive area with every thrust of his hips.  Although he'd felt a momentary spike of distress, he was glad Kakashi was touching him just as his Saiai always touched Jiraiya, without hesitation... This was what he wanted, his lovers to do the things they desired without fearing he'd react badly.  He continued feeling flashes of anxiety but also strong waves of pleasure.**

 

_Kakashi looked at Jiraiya, he was a bit uncertain, but the experienced man didn't have to reassure him as Ibiki moaned softly and asked, "Please keep touching me Saiai."_

_Kakashi's doubt faded and his sent light pulses of chakra over his beloved's rim._

 

**Ibiki groaned, the pleasure he'd felt before as Jiraiya's finger fucked him while he fucked his enthralling Koishii tempted him, but he wasn't sure he could make himself press back into his Saiai's finger and he was certain his lover would not do it without that encouragement.**

**Jiraiya moaned and teased Ibiki, "I love when our beloved touches me... the exquisite waves of chakra teasing... tempting me until I urgently want that pleasure inside... the astounding rapture of the waves of Chakra flowing up inside of me..."**

**Jiraiya's words helped, the reminder of how wonderful it felt.  Ibiki pressed back and he felt his Saiai's finger slip in, the sensation brought a hard flinch, but Kakashi didn't draw it out.  His lover's finger remained still, allowing him to move away or to fuck himself on it... it was sending a low steady chakra waves up inside him.  The enticing chakra was quickly wiping away Ibiki's doubts and he pressed back further feeling the rapturous pulses flowing up into his core and moaning in ecstasy as he resumed fucking Jiraiya working his Saiai's finger in his body.**

**Ibiki now gave breathless moans at the intense pleasure brought by the duel stimulation of both his cock and ass.   The ecstasy of it brought his orgasm very quickly... but the sensation of his muscles clenching around his Saiai's finger brought a another strong wave of anxiety.  As Kakashi slipped his finger out, he sent a strong pulse of chakra over his sensitive entrance.  Ibiki howled and bucked hard, Jiraiya tilted his hips and both cried out in a stronger orgasm, fully sating their need.**

**Ibiki withdrew and lay on the bed, drawing his Saiai and Koishii close.  The love they had for him had been the hand reaching out to rescue him from the chaotic waters of his past, he'd been trapped in a place that had left him without hope.  Together with his lovers anything was possible.  After a few moments of bliss, they rose and went to shower.**

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

**The morning routine was so familiar and felt so right, quietly drinking their coffee and tea and occasionally stroking each other's hand or arm.  This brought him deep happiness, this comfort and reassurance that it would be forever, they'd never leave him.  Ibiki kissed both his seductive lover's tenderly, then left to work.**

 

Jiraiya watched the front door close then looked down at his Myobu, "Do you want to spar?"

 

Kakashi molded his body to Jiraiya's their cocks eagerly responded and Kakashi's eyes were dark with desire as he replied, "I want to feel you in me."

 

Jiraiya nibbled the top of his ear, "I think that's a wonderful idea my enthralling Kitsune."

 

_Kakashi gave a soft whimper of pleasure and rising need, he led Jiraiya over to the couch, took the lube and dampened his hand stroking the swollen length and listening to his beloved's moans.  The sound teased him as much as his hand was teasing his lover._

_Kakashi straddled Jiraiya's lap, teasing his body until his lover's cock easily entered and sinking down to seated fully at the base on his turgid cock, "Please... cum inside me.  I won't move."   He'd felt his partner fully inside him several times, even had his beloved gently rock... it did not hurt.  After the last time, as Jiraiya thrust into him, he was sure his lover would not hurt him doing it._

 

Jiraiya was uncertain, his beloved was seated completely, facing him and not on his knees... his cock was fully within him... he couldn't... could he?  Kakashi said he would not let him cause pain... if he was careful...

 

Then his gorgeous lover lay forward, his face laying against Jiraiya's chest as he caressed him tenderly, it was a profoundly loving gesture.  He could not deny his beloved.   Jiraiya stroked down his back over his ass, parting the cheeks to brush his finger lightly around the filled entrance.  Kakashi gave a shiver and mewed, but did not move as Jiraiya rocked his hips into the tight grasp of his partner.  His lover was so amazing, he could feel the ripple of his muscles as he resisted moving.  His precious one... "Myobu, you can move, I trust you." 

 

Kakashi placed kisses over his chest and sucked on his budded nipples, but remained still until Jiraiya moaned and gave a gentle buck as he came, then sat up and looked in his eyes as his hips rocked into the smaller light bucks.

 

Jiraiya urged, "Lean back slightly." 

 

Kakashi did and gave a loud cry of ecstasy as Jiraiya's soft buck rubbed over his pleasure spot, then Jiraiya laid his hand firmly on his beloved's pelvis and gave a few gentle bucks that had Kakashi writhing and giving fevered howls as he came.

 

When his sated lover collapsed forward against him, his need calmed, Jiraiya kissed his shoulders and massaged his back, "You are so precious Myobu."

 

Kakashi looked up cupped Jiraiya's face and kissed him deeply, "I loved feeling you cum fully inside me, when you said you trusted me and I could move... that made it so much better."

 

Jiraiya said time and time again both to himself and his extraordinary partner that he'd trust him, but the truth was he rarely completely trusted him... he must always trust him completely.  Looked like Ibiki wasn't the only one trying to get past the issues in his past.  Jiraiya cradled his beloved's cheek, looking in his eyes sincerely, "I should always trust and believe in you."

 

_Kakashi stroked his chest softly, "I understand."  He'd been sure after the last time that he'd gotten 'experienced' enough that he would not be hurt, but he accepted that it was distressing to his lover and tried not to ask for anything more than what he was comfortable doing._

 

_Jiraiya shook his head, "You are not them, all the Angel's and Companions that abused my trust, you are my amazing Kitsune and I want you to ask for the things you desire, ask for my trust if I seem hesitant... it will remind me that you, my beloved deserves the trust I give.  You will not hurt yourself."_

_Kakashi smiled,  nuzzled Jiraiya's throat and promised.  "I want to always make you happy, I will never hurt you like that."_

_Kakashi rose to his knees and brushed Jiraiya's hair away from the sensitive back of his neck kissing it and making his partner's breath catch.  Delighted by the soft gasp and the slight jump of interest from Jiraiya's cock inside him, he continued licking and sucking gently on the area.  His beloved groaned, his cock rapidly hardening inside him.  Kakashi drew back and looked in his eyes, his finger circling his lover's nipple.  "I want to tease you... I want to hear you desperate for me... crying out..."_

 

Jiraiya groaned and gave a soft laugh, "Just your words are a very good start!  Tease me Kitsune... make me beg for you."

 

Kakashi gave a delighted smile, his fingers now tracing around the erect buds of Jiraiya's nipples and rolling them gently.  Then one of his beloved's hands dropped to bush chakra over his balls and Jiraiya gave a breathless moan, he would remain still and let his Myobu enjoy driving him wild with desire.  Always before he worried he'd become too rough and hurt his lover, but now he could relax and fully enjoy the way his sensual partner was making him desperate to move in the tight grasp of his body.  He would not worry that his slender lover had his now very engorged cock fully within him, he would trust.

 

Kakashi's body tilted forward his enticing entrance provocatively bared, a temptation Jiraiya greatly wished to touch, but he did not.  Without the distraction of getting to touch him the tease was much more intense, every touch was ecstasy.  The tip of his Myobu's tongue circled his nipples, then his mouth closed over one sucking the gathered bud and flicking it with his tongue.  Jiraiya trembled, his cock now so swollen with need that he gave little pleading whimpers between his cries. 

 

Kakashi released the tender peaks to the cooler air of the room rose up to the point  where the head of Jiraiya's throbbing length was barely with in him, then sank very slowly down.  Jiraiya cried out, panting hard, and when his beloved repeated the overwhelming tease he gave a loud needy groan. 

 

Kakashi looked nearly as desperate as he felt and stopped half way down sweeping the hair from the back of his neck and placing a kiss there before feverishly pleading, "Fuck me!" 

 

Jiraiya moaned loudly cupping his lover's hips and bucking rapidly into the tight hold.  He needed him so desperately and his Myobu's cries of ecstasy brought a strong need to cum, he resisted his need listening as Kakashi cried out in ecstatic howls, until his beloved begged "Cum!  Fill me!"

 

Jiraiya gave a loud moan, the need in his lover's tone brought his urgently desired orgasm and he cried out bucking up hard, then roughly again.  Kakashi dropped to the base and leaned back slightly as he gave a last gentle thrust and cried out in rapture as he reached his climax.  Kakashi was flushed, his body as sweat soaked as Jiraiya's was.  "I love you so much my Myobu."

 

_Kakashi sighed happily, Jiraiya had remained still allowing him to tease him to as desperate as his extraordinary skilled lover always made him.  He'd gave in to his need without hesitation, fucking him urgently... and waited until he'd told him to cum!  "I liked that."_

_Jiraiya stroked his cheek, Kakashi could see by the look in his eyes that he understood all he was trying to say but lacked the words to tell him._

"I liked it too my precious one, you amaze me."    It had been very... liberating, to not feel the need to hold back and the excitement his Myobu expressed made it even better.  His beloved had known to remain raised even after he'd reached his orgasm, his exceptional lover could feel he was still too aroused and waited until he'd calmed his need before sinking down.  He'd been so wrong to not trust in him.

 

_Kakashi wanted today to be special, to try to show Jiraiya how greatly he loved him and try to move past his 'limits' and be free to express his love in public... he wanted to be able to touch his hand as they walked, to smile and relax.  "I want to have a picnic with you."_

_Jiraiya's smile was so adoring it made Kakashi even more determined, this time they would stay, and they would spend time together like other people did with the ones they loved._

 

The two men went in to shower and Jiraiya gently massaged his Myobu, his beloved wanted to work past his limits and in time Jiraiya was sure he would succeed.  Hopefully he could get his partner relaxed and make it a bit easier for him.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

_When they got to the park, Kakashi sat and tried to calm, but he just couldn't relax enough to eat, instead he watched Jiraiya and tried to believe no one was watching them.  The ploy was only partly successful and brought an unforeseen complication, looking at his enthralling partner it was difficult not to be aroused... everything about him made him desire his lover's touch._

 

Jiraiya could see how hard his Myobu was trying... and that his sexy lover was becoming aroused, that would not make this any easier on his partner.   After a few moments Jiraiya decided to put a halt to this attempt before it caused his beloved too much anxiety.  He made the hand signs and placed a Genjutsu over them, no one could see them now.

 

Kakashi looked apologetic, "I tried... I'm sorry..."

 

Jiraiya leaned in, drew down Kakashi's mask and brushed his lips softly over his gorgeous lover's, "You did very good my Kitsune... I put the Genjutsu up because I wish to hold you and I don't want to cause you distress."

 

"I wanted this to be special, for us..." Kakashi's words faltered and his cheeks flushed as Jiraiya drew him over to straddle his lap... but he just resumed kissing his precious one as his hands gently massaged his partner's back. 

 

When he broke the kiss he stroked Kakashi's cheek tenderly, "You are my beautiful Kitsune, every moment I get to spend with you is special.  Thank you for going on a picnic with me."

 

Although both men were now very aroused Kakashi just hugged Jiraiya and lay his head against his shoulder.  "I want to be free to do all the things others do with their partner... to show everyone how much I love you and Ibiki."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "That will come in time."  He rubbed his back lightly, just enjoying the feel of his wonderful lover in his arms, things couldn't be more special than every moment he spent by his partner's sides, no matter where they were. 

 

They sat quietly with Jiraiya massaging his back until their bodies calmed, then Jiraiya urged, "Let's clean up here and we can go see if Ibiki can come home yet."  He studied his Myobu's face, "Would you like to stop at the fish stall and get some Kari for Ibiki to make?" 

 

_Kakashi only hesitated slightly, then nodded.  The market place would be very busy at this time of day, but he could do it, he would walk with his lover and try not to notice anyone but him.  Having a picnic had not gone well but he was determined this would._

 

Jiraiya thought about Kakashi's anxiety as they walked, perhaps he'd feel a bit more comfortable if he was familiar with some of the villagers.  It was too much to ask for him to comfortably talk to any yet, but he would get a bit of familiarity with them as Jiraiya greeted them.  As he walked with his Myobu he called out hello to the people he knew and they waved back, Jiraiya didn't stop to talk with any but these greetings were a beginning. 

 

When they'd pass a person Jiraiya had called out to he'd talk a bit about them, then they'd continue quietly for a few moments.  "They just had their third child, Rikka got the son he'd been hoping for, he loves his precious daughters but wanted someone to teach fishing and hunting... and to pass his shop on to." 

 

_Kakashi occasionally glanced up at Jiraiya, his partner knew many of these people and they knew him, this was the way people in a village were supposed to be... maybe one day he would know some too but it was hard to imagine.  Even still he enjoyed hearing Jiraiya tell little things about them... some of these were people he'd watched while sitting in a tree observing the village, for years that was the only 'contact' he'd had with any of them, hearing these things helped him understand some of their behaviors he'd puzzled over._

 

When they reached the fish market, Jiraiya looked over the many fish, he was not in a hurry to buy one, not when he saw the effort his amazing beloved was making towards talking to the vender's wife.  Sakanaya was a very sweet woman, very soothing and accepting. 

 

_Kakashi was looking at one of the fish, he didn't recognize the type.  A small woman slowly walked over, her soft voice was warm and friendly, she didn't directly talk to him as much as answer the question that he'd clearly had, "This is a very unusual fish to get at this time of year, we were lucky to get it, I hear it tastes wonderful."  She studied the fish and smiled, "The rosy color of their scales makes it almost too pretty to eat."_

_"I want to buy one."  Kakashi was surprised to hear himself speak it.  It sounded so normal, like he did this all the time, but in truth he'd never approached any of the venders._

_The woman gave a soft laugh, "Perhaps I'll take some home too, everyone deserves something special now and then.  I will wrap this up for you."_

_Now that he'd spoken to her he was a bit uncomfortable, would she wish to carry on a conversation with him?  What could he say?  He had no idea what he'd do if she did... would she try to touch him when he took the fish from her?_

 

Jiraiya smiled and walked over to stand beside his beloved, that had been a bold step for him and he was looking a bit tense.  When the woman returned she held out the package and Jiraiya took it, as he paid he smiled thankfully at her.  "This is a very good fish, I'm glad he picked this out."

 

She nodded wisely, "I am too, I'm very sure you and your partners will enjoy it."

 

Now that they had the fish, Jiraiya and Kakashi continued to see if their partner was ready.  Jiraiya was glad he'd chosen that fish stall.  Sakanaya was very intuitive and had been careful to remain relaxed and keep the conversation light, it was a good experience for his reclusive Myobu.  "Sakanaya is a very nice woman, she often cooks any fish she's gotten an ample supply of and gives them to families in need.  Her husband adores her, they've known each other since they were very young and they always had a strong bond with each other."

 

Kakashi was much further towards his goal than he thought, he was learning to interact with the villagers, once he could do that, being watched wouldn't feel so threatening.

 

\-------------------------------

 

**Ibiki watched his lovers walk in and rose to greet them, after giving his partners a kiss, he looked curiously at the bag with the fish.  "Are we having Kari tonight?"**

**Jiraiya smiled and caressed Kakashi's cheek, "No, not Kari, Kakashi picked a very nice Madai."**

**Ibiki was delighted, yes the fish was a fantastic choice, but what made it even more special was that his Saiai had chosen it.  From the proud look in Jiraiya's eyes it was clear Kakashi had spoken to the vender.  "Saiai thank you for getting such a good fish, I will make something very special tonight."**

 

_Kakashi smiled and stroked Ibiki's arm, it felt very good that his partners knew how difficult it was and were proud he'd done it.  He wasn't sure if he'd talk to one of the villagers again anytime soon, but it had not been terrible and he was happy he'd done it._

 

===================================================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 36**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 36: NOTHING COMES EASY (GODSMACK)


	37. THE POWER OF BELIEF (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 37)

**THE POWER OF BELIEF (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 37)**

 

 ===================

 

**Tonight was the night, he would take the last step, no matter how much he feared it.  He watched his Saiai crying out in rapture as Jiraiya's mouth teased him to the edge, his hips bucking as he sought relief... his partners were so extraordinary, he never imagined having one incredibly sexy lover and he was blessed with two.  It was time to move forward towards a healthy relationship with them and leave the past behind.**

**His Koishii was smiling, his hand had replaced his mouth as he teased Kakashi.  Ibiki's eyes slipped from his beloved's face to his engorged cock... soon his Koishii's cock would be inside him... his partners found pleasure in feeling their lover's cock thrusting into them... but right now the idea of receiving pleasure from it seemed unlikely... he could do this, he would do this, he put it off long enough.**

 

Jiraiya noticed Ibiki was very quiet, he seemed deep in thought, something was disturbing him.  It was time to bring his gorgeous Myobu's climax.  "My seductive Kitsune."  Jiraiya purred as he looked into his amazing bi-colored eyes.  Then he covered his beloved's tempting erection again, shifting down to take it in his throat and lifting his thumb.

 

_Kakashi howled at the intensity of his climax as he was allowed to cum.  Even after his orgasm he felt small waves of pleasure as his partner slowly slipped his sated flesh from the ecstasy of his mouth.  He looked over at Ibiki, although their lover seemed to be watching them... and aroused, something felt wrong.  Kakashi looked back at Jiraiya, but he could see he had also noticed and was now gently caressing their lover's chest._

 

Ibiki groaned and gave a soft laugh, "You two are so sexy it's unbelievable... Koishii, I want to feel you thrusting against my rim."

 

Jiraiya kissed him and purred, "I love your body, feeling you covering me..."  His Koishii was very aroused and the request was not unusual, Ibiki knew their partner loved watching his cock thrusting against his ass.  Jiraiya lay down and stroked his back as his lover covered him, then gave a delighted groan at the feel of his Koishii's fingers on the turgid length of his cock as he positioned it to rub against the part of his ass.  And when his beloved started rocking, the pleasure was enough to make him breathless between his long deep moans, Ibiki's moans of ecstasy quickly joined his.

 

**Ibiki lay atop his Koishii, his beloved's swollen length rubbing against his rim felt so good... he couldn't believe he was going to try this, but this was a step he wanted to take.  Ibiki looked over at Kakashi his beautiful eyes rested with longing on Jiraiya's cock, this wasn't something to dread, his Saiai enjoyed this pleasure greatly... this strong pleasure.**

**Ibiki stopped rocking against his lover's erection but did not move away and it remained pressed against the entrance to his body.  As he lay on Jiraiya, he looked at his wonderful Saiai and urged, "Tease me with Chakra, I want to feel your touch."**

**Kakashi looked delighted, then a bit nervous as he studied Ibiki's face.  Clearly his beloved knew he was going to try something that would cause him anxiousness, but his partner had no idea how great of a step he was going to make... that he was 'ready' to try being fucked by his Koishii.  As his Saiai's soft fingers teased  his ass, the ache of his need was building quickly.  Ibiki moaned in pleasure then looked up at Jiraiya, "I want you."**

**Jiraiya nodded, his erection pressed lightly as Kakashi's fingers slipped away... the firmer press of his lover's rigid cock was making him anxious.  He looked up at Jiraiya, "I need you in me."**  

 

They'd talked about this, his Koishii believed the buck of his cock entering would be less distressing than slow press in would be, Jiraiya was not in agreement and he had hoped Ibiki had changed his mind.  He wanted to tell him 'no' but this was a large step and his beloved had the right to do it his way.  The only thing he could do was try to distract him from the spike of pain and try to keep his body from clenching down, he reluctantly nodded and his fingers teased Ibiki's nipples with strong waves of chakra.

 

Jiraiya could see Kakashi knew, his eyes distressed, and tried to soothe him. "I love you both so much."

 

Ibiki met Jiraiya's eyes and pushed firmly down.  Ibiki's muscles clenched tightly at the knowledge of what he was going to do before he even dropped down and he gave a sharp gasp and low cry, closing his eyes at the strong pain, his body tensed in fear.  Jiraiya had tears trailing down his cheeks and he rained kisses over his beloved's face he didn't have to look at Kakashi, he knew he was crying.  It was more than the fact their lover hurt, it was the knowledge of how much this frightened him... how he'd feared it and had tried to trust.

 

"Oh, Koishii..." Jiraiya's hands massaged him tenderly, trying to loosen his clenched muscles.  He knew the tight grasp his beloved's body had around his erection was only making it worse, his lover's muscles were now spasming around the source of his pain.  He wanted to hold his precious Koishii, and he was sure Kakashi did too, but that would not be a good idea.

 

Jiraiya was proud of his Myobu as he wiped away his tears and then lightly traced chakra down Ibiki's spine.  His voice, although husky, was full of love not the sorrow they felt.

 

_Kakashi wanted to comfort Ibiki, he felt so helpless, all he could do was try to tell him how greatly he loved him  "We love you so much.  You are everything to us, every moment beside you makes me so happy, I never knew joy or love until you.  When you first kissed me I thought that I had to be dreaming because I'd loved you for so long and never thought you'd ever love me..."_

 

"You are so amazing my Koishii, so strong... the day you first kissed me is one of the best memories I have... so many of my most cherished memories are of you and Kakashi.  You are so precious to us."  Jiraiya spoke softly, trying to reach through the fear and draw their beloved back to the present.

 

**Ibiki lay still, his eyes closed and his body hurting, this pain was very familiar and it would only get so much worse when they started fucking him again...  so many men pounding into him, blood running...**

**The voices, gentle and full of love... the tender caresses... the pain was fading a bit... it wasn't _them_... it was his lovers, the men he loved, the men who loved _him_.  Ibiki lifted his head and looked back at Kakashi, "Touch me Saiai, I need your touch, I need you."  He needed to feel their love and to try to lock away the terrible memories again.  That was then, what the Rain nin did was in the past... in the present he had two men that loved him deeply, and that he loved.  Ibiki lay his head down on Jiraiya.  "Koishii... I'm sorry.  I didn't listen, you knew.."  Jiraiya had tried to dissuade him, tried to change his mind, he hadn't believed he should buck down... and he'd been right.**

**Jiraiya kissed his temple lightly, "You are so incredible, so special, my cherished one.  All I want is to give you pleasure and happiness."**

**His Koishii continued massaging him, Ibiki saw his Saiai was watching them, his face pale and anxious.  Jiraiya soothingly crooned to him, "Myobu, come lay beside us."**

**Kakashi shifted up to lay on his side beside Jiraiya, his chakra strokes still sending calming waves over Ibiki's body like a soft warm hand caressing him below the skin**.  

 

_Kakashi was watching Ibiki and Jiraiya, confused and upset he had no idea what to do to help..._

_Ibiki  jumped slightly and he lifted his head to look at him,  Kakashi realized his fingers had slipped down further than he'd thought, down his beloved's spine to his tailbone and while deep in thought his fingers had remained there.  "I'm sorry."_

_Ibiki's intense gaze was not angry, "Do that again."_

 

Kakashi ran a light chakra stroke down his back, then paused at his tail bone.  Ibiki's breath caught and Jiraiya's heart filled with hope... their wonderful partner had found the answer!  Ibiki's body was unclenching and his breathing had quickened.  The chakra stimulation of his nerves at the base of the spine was a very strong distraction and helped to escalate the rush of endorphins that would ease his pain.

 

As Kakashi continued sending a steady low stream of Chakra into their beloved Jiraiya massaged his muscles with a stronger hum of Chakra.  Ibiki sighed relaxing on Jiraiya's chest, his muscles unclenching from around his erection.  After a few moments his body had completely relaxed.  "Koishii, are you ready?  We will try to ease your pain as you lift off me."

 

Ibiki shook his head.  Jiraiya thought he was indicating he was not ready to handle the pain yet, but his words corrected that.  "Although I did it in the worse way possible, you are in me and I would not like to give up the progress."  Ibiki kissed him and added, "I am, however, very willing to do as you say."

 

 Jiraiya was determined he would 'fix things' somehow, otherwise it would be very difficult to do this again if his Koishii ever decided to... he'd felt only pain, no pleasure, and now his body would once again try to deny anything entering even if he tried relaxing.

 

 Jiraiya thought about it, "Can you bear being touched on your ass or will it frighten you right now?"

 

Ibiki replied honestly, "It  will frighten me, but I believe I can be touched."

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "You are so strong, I am amazed by you.  You have such strength to do this, I think you should stay on me."

 

Ibiki nodded agreement and Jiraiya tried to focus on how to change this from a complete loss to at least a partial victory.  He looked over at Kakashi, "You have the most incredible touch, tease him with Chakra, give him pleasure." 

 

Kakashi looked uncertain, but nodded.  Jiraiya caressed Ibiki's face, "Just stay as you are, enjoy the pleasure he can give you."

 

**Ibiki nodded, but he felt uncertain as well, after causing himself strong pain he wasn't sure pleasure was possible.  His belief was quickly dispelled as his Saiai sent pulses of chakra over his rim, the pain had lessened greatly.  He'd experienced much worse, his body was familiar with the strong pain...  He gave a surprised cry of ecstasy as Kakashi sent a little burst of chakra up his passage, Jiraiya also gave a delighted cry.**

 

Jiraiya saw his Koishii's reaction to the tease, and he was starting to think their lover's light chakra strokes  could work, Ibiki's body was familiar with that pleasure.  And when his intuitive Myobu had seen their partner slipping into dark thoughts, the surge he'd sent into Ibiki and himself was a very good distraction from them.  Jiraiya could feel his beloved's muscles loosen further and his body slip down a bit, Jiraiya watched his lover, he was sure Ibiki knew that his cock was slipping in but the continued tease from Kakashi kept him focused on his touch and the muscles remained relaxed.

 

**Ibiki concentrated on his lover's actions and tried to not let the fact he could feel Jiraiya's cock sinking in register... then his Koishii began tracing the scars on his throat with teasing little licks and Ibiki moaned.  Both his partner's watched him with deep love, their touches gentle caresses that soothed and reassured him, his lovers were more than he could ever dream he'd have... both were so exceptional.  Ibiki gasped and looked back at Kakashi, who was watching him almost curiously as his fingers brushed his inner thighs and he groaned, "Saiai!"  His beloved's touch was wonderful!**

 

_Kakashi was delighted by the husky sound of his partner's voice, Ibiki was enjoying his touches... they were exciting him!  He was bringing him pleasure, he'd wanted to help him and he was happy he'd found a way_.

 

Jiraiya could feel his beloved's body was now completely enclosing his erection, his lover's muscles remained loose but Jiraiya didn't think it was a good idea to even rock... No, tempting his Koishii into moving and fucking himself like he had on his fingers was a better idea, it left Ibiki in complete control of the depth and speed as well as set it apart from the things his abusers had done.

 

Jiraiya watched Kakashi's expression, his Myobu was doing better too... but there was something that concerned him.  Kakashi still could not touch the backs of Ibiki's knees, everything would fall apart from there... it was an area that was still very traumatic for their partner and right now it would terrify him.  Kakashi's gaze slipped over to meet his and Jiraiya could see he was being careful not to go any further down than his thighs.

 

_"Beautiful Myobu."  Jiraiya purred, his voice held deep love.  Kakashi smiled, shifted up to kiss him, then caressed Ibiki's back as Jiraiya's fingers brushed down over their lover's ass._

 

Jiraiya's finger lightly traced around his Koishii's rim, then sent a small wave into his body, it was an extreme tease of himself but well worth it when his lover's hips shifted a bit at the pleasure.  He continued the enticing brushes, followed by sending a wave inside.  Ibiki moaned, his hips shifting then giving a little rock, then he froze.  Jiraiya watched his partner's face, his fingers continued the tempting chakra strokes, his beloved didn't look afraid, he looked surprised. 

 

**Ibiki met his Koishii's gaze, Jiraiya's eyes held a touch of humor, but also joy.  Clearly his partner knew... his prostate was stimulated by Jiraiya's wide shaft.  As he'd rocked on it he felt a hint of the ecstasy that he could get, between that temptation and the way his lover's were teasing his body with chakra, he was becoming very aroused.**

**His beloved was not fucking him, his lover remained still... just like when he'd pushed down to take Jiraiya's fingers into his body, he could choose if he wished to move and how much.  Cautiously he moved on his Koishii's arousal... again he felt the hint of pleasure, but he still remained uneasy after the strong pain of taking Jiraiya's cock in**.

 

"Ibiki, my Koishii, I love touching you and feeling the man I love's body against mine."  Jiraiya crooned lovingly breaking his partner from whatever thoughts were beginning to make him distressed.  Ibiki kissed him tenderly.

 

_Kakashi watched his lovers intently, then shifted down to watch Jiraiya teasing their lover, he was surprised and excited as he saw Ibiki rock slightly.  He knew Jiraiya could give Ibiki pleasure, he was sure everything would be ok now._  

 

**Ibiki rocked a bit more and moaned as his cock rubbed against Jiraiya's stomach.  His need was steadily growing, eroding away his hesitancy.  He moved a bit faster, the feel of his beloved's cock slipping along his passage as his lover's chakra teased his rim felt good, but it was the small tastes of that incredible pleasure that tempted him.**

**Jiraiya asked affectionately, "Could I cup your hips?"**

**Ibiki nodded and, a bit hesitantly, replied. "Yes."**

**Jiraiya's hands lifted and gently massaged his sore muscles down his back, then down to lightly cup his hips.  When Ibiki rocked again on his lover's erection, his beloved cupped and tilted his hips and a powerful surge of ecstasy swept through him.**

**As his climax flowed through him, he gave fevered cries of rapture, the pleasure so intense he was panting as he rocked faster and bucked against his beloved's stomach.  Then he lay still on his amazing Koishii as the astounding pleasure faded slowly.   Ibiki drew a deep rough breath, "I had no idea... that pleasure, I've never felt anything like that, incredible..."  The pleasure was strong enough that the continued small flashes of pain from his rim was not a distraction.**

 

Jiraiya massaged his back softly, "That is the ecstasy you give to Kakashi and I."

 

Kakashi nodded, "I love the feel of you in me... then you give me this strong pleasure."  Jiraiya could see his Myobu's cock was now flushed hard at the sound of their lover's moans.

 

Ibiki looked at Jiraiya seriously, "I want you to cum in me." 

 

Jiraiya almost answered  'No',  but Ibiki asked, "Please Jiraiya." 

 

He hesitated to deny him, but cradled his Koishii's face and explained, "I'm afraid I'll frighten you."  No, he didn't just think it, he [u]knew[/u] he'd frighten him.

 

**"You might," Ibiki agreed, but then added, "but I do not want to keep hesitating to try new things."  He looked at Kakashi then back at Jiraiya, " _We_ can handle if it frightens me."  Jiraiya was still erect... he'd been aroused since before he'd given their lover oral sex.  He was always placing their needs ahead of his own.  He wanted to know he was bringing him pleasure too, that his Koishii wasn't once again selflessly giving and not receiving pleasure.**

**Kakashi smiled happily, but Jiraiya replied cautiously, "I'm not sure that's a good idea."**

**Ibiki nodded and accepted, "If you do not think it's a good idea we won't."  He'd learned his lesson about ignoring Jiraiya's warnings.**

 

Jiraiya thought about how Ibiki had looked as he'd watched him and Kakashi...  His beloved wanted more, he wanted the freedom... his partner wanted to try this, he could not thrust into him but... With Kakashi's help...  "Yes Koishii, we will handle if it frightens you."  Jiraiya caressed him lovingly as their sexy partner's captivating touch began gliding around where Ibiki's body enclosed Jiraiya's engorged length.

 

As Jiraiya grew more fevered he felt the weight of his intuitive Myobu's body pinning his legs, lessening the chance he'd buck hard.  It would be alarming enough for his Koishii to feel the jump of his cock and the sensation of him cumming inside him.  

 

**Ibiki gave soft breathless moans at the feel of Kakashi's chakra tracing his rim.  He could feel Jiraiya's cock eagerly swelling within him and tried to concentrate on the delighted groans coming from his Koishii, his beloved's eyes remained on his.  Ibiki rocked slightly and a wave of pleasure tempted him into continuing ... his partner's erection filled his body and every slow rock stroked it over so many wonderful places inside him.**

**Jiraiya was giving cries of need that echoed how Ibiki himself felt, breathlessly his lover asked, "Can I touch your hips?"**

**Ibiki felt a spike of excitement, "Yes Koishii."  Last time had been such extreme pleasure, he wanted more.  Jiraiya's hands brushed gently down to cup his hips, his cries of rapture urgent and yet his gaze remained vigilantly on Ibiki's face.  He gave a soft whimper as he held back, "Are you sure?"**

**Ibiki nodded, he was sure, even if it was terrifying he wanted to know his lover was not quietly enduring the pain of his engorged cock.**

 

Jiraiya was determined that this would bring his beloved more pleasure than fear, there was no doubt in his mind it _would_ bring fear.  His hands tilted his Koishii's hips and at Ibiki's next rock Jiraiya gave in to his climax crying out in ecstasy as his orgasm surged through him.

 

**Ibiki felt the slight buck and the jump of his partner's cock within him, a chill washed through him but was swept away immediately by a flood of powerful rapture as his Koishii's arousal rubbed against the perfect place within him, he moaned loudly and rocked into the jump of his lover's cock, the surge of pleasure even stronger than before and prolonged by the stronger waves of chakra that flowed from his Saiai's fingers.  Ibiki came then gave another rock and moaned loudly as he completely satisfied his urgent need.**

**Once more breathlessly he lay on top of his lover, only now Jiraiya was as breathless as he, after a moment Ibiki stroked his cheek and kissed him.**

**Jiraiya caressed his back and, when Ibiki broke the kiss, he asked seriously, "Did I frighten you?"**

**Ibiki nodded, "But only for a moment and then thinking of anything but the overwhelming pleasure was impossible."**

**Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, "I love you."**

 

Jiraiya was exhausted, both from the stress and even from his climax after such a long 'tease', but there was still something he had to do... but not until after he met this next obstacle.  Ibiki needed to rise off him... he'd be sore, his body was not used to this kind of 'activity' and even after the spike of pain as his cock left Ibiki's body, his beloved's muscles would be sore... hopefully not too greatly, he hadn't remained inside this long with Kakashi and he hadn't cum within him...  from the look in his eyes Ibiki knew it was going to hurt to lift off.  Jiraiya massaged his lower back, "Relax Koishii..."

 

Ibiki gave him a skeptical look and Jiraiya was a bit amused as he corrected, "No, just relax a moment."  He hadn't been urging him to loosen his muscles, that was not a practical thing to say at this time.  It was not something he could do, he'd only wanted his beloved not to become uneasy, it would only make the muscles tense further and his lingering anxiety was doing that already. 

 

**Ibiki tried to relax, to forget for a moment what he'd have to do and just enjoy the feel of his lover's hands caressing him.  Kakashi's soft chakra strokes and the massage of his Koishii's hands felt very good, soothing, and he calmed.**

**Jiraiya nuzzled his throat, "Do you trust me?"**

**Ibiki didn't reply for a moment then answered, "Yes, I trust you."**

**He hated that he paused before replying to his beloved, it shamed him that he doubted for even a minute.  His lovers only wanted to give him pleasure and he could always trust them completely.**  

 

Jiraiya kissed him, "I will not hurt you..."  _not yet._ He could not prevent there from being pain as the head of his cock left his beloved's body, but not yet.

 

Jiraiya continued kissing him lovingly as he slipped his Koishii up, his kisses continued down his lover's throat as he continued slowly drawing him up until just the head of his cock rested within. 

 

**Ibiki looked at his gentle beloved then over at Kakashi,  these men loved him, they would never hurt him.  The pain of lifting off Jiraiya would not be anything strong, not really.  The pleasure he'd felt and the joy he'd seen on his lovers faces was worth this small bit of pain.  Ibiki lifted off his beloved, the sudden sharp pain made his heart pound in fear but the feel of his partners still caressing him made the fear quickly fade.**

 

Jiraiya kissed his beloved's face, he'd have spared him this if he could but it was not possible.  If there was a next time it would not hurt so bad, the fact Ibiki had forced his body down on his cock had added to the pain he'd felt lifting off of him.  There wouldn't be anything rough like that next time... but he wasn't sure if his Koishii would ever wish there to be a next time. 

 

Kakashi had been aroused a very long time now, listened to them climax more than once, a strong tease and yet he had been completely focused on taking care of them.  Jiraiya wanted to take care of his needs, but did not want to release Ibiki, comforting him was important right now.  But Kakashi's need was important too, his Myobu was so precious and the extraordinary man was ignoring his intense need so he could soothe their partner just as he had throughout this.

 

**Ibiki was aware of Kakashi's need and that it would have to be Jiraiya taking care of it, he was too sore to do so... Ibiki's fingers brushed over his Saiai's turgid length, Kakashi whimpered, it had to be a very painful by now.  He looked at Jiraiya and urged, "Koishii, I want to watch you touching our lover."**  

 

Jiraiya smiled, he knew that was his Koishii's way of saying he was fine and he could release him to give their lover pleasure... still he may as well make it 'entertaining'. As Ibiki shifted off Jiraiya, he could see it was a bit painful for him, but there was no alarm or distress in his eyes.

 

Jiraiya turned his attention to their needy partner, and purred, "What do you want Myobu?  For me to take you in my mouth and suck that enticing hard cock?"  Kakashi shivered his gaze rapt as Jiraiya moved over to beside him and leaned in, licking slowly up his lover's throat towards his ear where he murmured, "Or maybe to feel my body enclosing your throbbing cock, the warm tight heat..." 

 

Kakashi gave a loud whimper at the tease, drew a ragged breath and brushed his finger over Jiraiya's lips and he drew his enthralling Kitsune's finger in, sucking on it and teasing the tip.  Kakashi's eyes lingered on his mouth, but his other hand slipped down to trace a chakra stroke over Jiraiya's cock in a playful taunt of his own.  Jiraiya's breath caught, his cock swelling with need and he released his lover's finger, cupped his hips and lifted him onto his lap.  His hand wrapped around their erections and he stroked them together as Kakashi gasped and gave loud moans of delight.

 

**Ibiki was very amused by his amazing lover's, the two playful men took his mind from how his body felt as he watched them tease one another.  Kakashi arched into Jiraiya's touch mewing wantonly,  although in a bit of pain Ibiki sat up and cupped his Saiai from behind sucking and licking his throat up towards his ear.**

 

Jiraiya smirked as Kakashi trembled between the two strong temptations, unable to decide which to press into....behind that playful smirk lay relief and joy, he was sure Ibiki was aware of it.  His Koishii had chosen to move and to join... his body not too sore to wish to be a part of the tease of their lover, and his mind undisturbed enough that he was very noticeably enjoying himself.... slowly hardening until erect once more.

 

Kakashi wailed in rapture as he reached his orgasm, then panted between cries as Ibiki's tongue traced the shell of his ear, his body too excited to calm, he remained semi erect and in seconds was very aroused once more.  Jiraiya had released his Myobu's rapidly reawakening cock and their lover turned towards Ibiki with desire in his eyes, but also a bit of hesitation.  "I want you... in me."

 

**Ibiki nodded, he was not so sore that he'd refuse to bring pleasure to his lovers.  He was surprised as Kakashi took the lube from Jiraiya and dampened his hand, then stroked his cock.  Still sitting beside him on the bed, he saw his Saiai hesitate once more, and was curious what his partner wanted to try.  No matter what it was he would find a way to fulfill his desire.**

**"Please Saiai... anything." Ibiki urged.**

 

Kakashi glanced back at Jiraiya who gave an encouraging nod, he knew his Myobu was worried that his not being prepared would upset their partner.  But Jiraiya trusted them, Kakashi would go slow and not hurt himself and his Koishii would accept it. 

 

As Kakashi straddled Ibiki's lap, Ibiki looked surprised, but not alarmed.  Their slender lover remained on his knees, worried that he would become upset as he felt his body lower onto his erection.

 

**Ibiki was very surprised and yes a touch uncertain, but when he looked at Jiraiya he didn't look alarmed, if his Koishii had thought their partner was going to hurt himself he'd have stopped him.  Kakashi dipped his head, kissing Ibiki's throat and licking the sensitive scar tissue.  His body lowered and pressed down on his cock, Ibiki was aware Jiraiya was watching without concern and he relaxed, his hands gently cupped his Saiai's hips.**

**His sexy lover's body lifted, lowered and pressed again... now Ibiki was extremely excited, his beloved's lithe body moving on him pushing down like a tease on the swollen head of his cock then moving away.   Ibiki kneaded his firm ass and felt the light press again, his lover's body was loosening a bit more each time**.

 

_Kakashi drew back from kissing his throat and watched his eyes as he pressed and the head of Ibiki's cock slipped in, it sent a mild pain spike, but it was more of a discomfort than real pain.  Ibiki didn't look upset but he was definitely not relaxed.  Kakashi paused there and resumed kissing and teasing his throat.  After a few moments his body loosened further allowing him to drop down to the base._

 

**Ibiki saw his beloved was worried about him and he cupped his partner's chin drawing him into a passionate kiss, he trusted his lovers.  Kakashi's tight body enclosed his cock, but his Saiai did not move, only responded ecstatically to his kiss**.

 

_Ibiki had accepted it!  Trusted him, known he would not injure himself.  "I love you."_

_Ibiki stroked his face, "I love you my precious Saiai."_

_His lover's hands gently kneaded his ass cheeks, Kakashi gave a delighted mew and slowly rocked his hips.  As his body continued to loosen his movements became faster until he was fucking himself upon his partner's hard flesh and moaning in ecstasy_. 

 

**Jiraiya watched them, very evidently enjoying the sight of their pleasure.  Ibiki moaned, his hands delightedly clasping Kakashi's ass as his lover lifted and lowered on his cock.   Very quickly they neared their climax.  Now Ibiki was uneasy, he didn't want to hurt his Saiai, right now he didn't think he could bear it.  But as his beloved reached his orgasm he lifted slightly, embraced him and urged, "Buck please!"**

**Ibiki groaned and thrust up firmly his cock jumping within his lover as he reached his climax.  Yes the movement sent a spike of pain through him, but it was well worth it as his Saiai writhed and cried out in rapture.  Their bodies sated Kakashi sank down to the base and rested his head against Ibiki's chest, "Sorry... I forgot you were sore."**

**Ibiki hugged him and his gentle voice held amusement, "It was well worth it, my sexy Saiai!"  Kakashi looked up, his expression delighted and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him as Ibiki softly kissed him.  Then Kakashi slowly lifted up off his gratified length.**

 

"Let's go shower."  Jiraiya urged.  He wanted to massage Ibiki while in the warmth and try to ease his discomfort, although he didn't seem bothered by it.  He saw Kakashi, could use one as well, his was mainly tight muscles from being aroused for so long.

 

======================================

 

A few days had passed since that attempt and Ibiki had shown no major distress about it, his body had not been sore long at all... in fact if it hadn't been for forcing himself down on his erection his Koishii probably wouldn't have hurt at all...  sadly, his body was very familiar with being fucked.  Still the incident brought up an issue that needed more 'work' before they tried anything like that again.

 

His body reacted with resistance to the press of his cock, it was only natural given the horrors he'd endured, but they could work to put it in the past.  He wanted to give his beloved the freedom to chose to do anything that he wished once more.

 

Kakashi was on a late mission, he wouldn't be home for a few hours, so he and Ibiki had some time to try working on this problem before relaxing and enjoying their sensual partner.

 

When they walked in the door, Jiraiya turned to kiss his Koishii passionately, he could feel his partner's cock flush hard against him and feathered his fingers over the rapidly swelling length.  Jiraiya broke their kiss and led his beloved into the bedroom.  Slowly stripping his exquisite body, licking and kissing the exposed flesh as his fingers continued unfastening and drawing his lover's clothes off. 

 

**Ibiki's cock throbbed at the temptation as his partner sank down before him, drawing his pants off.  Jiraiya looked up and his tongue gave little flutters against the sensitive head.  Ibiki moaned as his cock eagerly reacted to the offered pleasure.**

**His beloved placed a soft teasing kiss on the swollen head then rose, removed his clothes and urged,  "Lay on the bed for me Koishii."**

**Ibiki lay down and gave a low groan as his extremely seductive lover lay between his legs.  Then his partner's amazing mouth teased him further, sucking and licking his balls, driving him to needy moans and cries of ecstasy.**

 

Jiraiya urged his beloved to bend his knees and was relieved when he did it without hesitation.  Jiraiya was having a bit of a hard time remaining focused on helping his lover, his Koishii's cries of delight aroused him greatly, but he couldn't give in and just take his beloved in his mouth like he wished to.  Slowly his tongue trailed down and teased his partner's rim with light strokes.  Ibiki's enthusiastic cries encouraged him to continue, he showed no anxiety so far.  

 

Jiraiya dampened his finger with lube and teased his Koishii's body, feathering lightly over the tender rim of his ass until Ibiki was giving urgent cries.  Then slowly pressing a slick finger in as his mouth hovered over his lover's enticing cock, breathing moist hot breaths over it that made it strain for the tempting hold that was just out of reach. 

 

**Ibiki moaned his need growing so rapidly he was breathless.  "Koishii!"**

**Jiraiya looked up playfully as his tongue flicked over the engorged tip.   Ibiki could feel his lover's fingers slip out and two press in, but his need made trying to concentrate on anything but the tease of his cock nearly impossible!   His beloved sucked on the throbbing head as his fingers moved inside of him.  Ibiki was ready to beg and even the feel of his partner's fingers slipping out and three pressing slowly in did not distract him from the ecstasy of his lover's mouth finally dropping down over his aching flesh.  The tight moist grasp brought fevered moans from him and while he was aware of his Koishii's fingers slowly moving inside him it was far too difficult to concentrate on anything but the feel of Jiraiya's skilled mouth drawing on his cock.**

 

Jiraiya was pleased this was going well, he wasn't sure his Koishii would be able to bear this anymore, but it seemed that fingers were not a problem... his three fingers now moved smoothly in his beloved's body, stroking steadily into him as he took his lover to the base with every drop down onto his turgid length.  He continued until Ibiki cried out in rapture at his climax, then his fingers pressed deep and he brushed chakra pulses over his partner's pleasure spot feeling his beloved's hips buck, then again as his body was teased into another powerful orgasm.  Ibiki panted as Jiraiya lifted his mouth from his sated flesh, his fingers remained buried within him and giving light rubs and occasional soft pulses of chakra over his prostate, little enticing brushes that slowly tempted him until he was hard again.  Then his fingers slid out and he rose up over his lover, positioned Ibiki's cock and sank down upon it with a loud moan. 

 

**Ibiki groaned, "So sexy!"  His hands cupped Jiraiya's ass kneading the firm cheeks as he bucked up into the incredible pleasure of his lover's body.  His partner's muscles drew teasingly on his cock with every rise, tempting him until his hands clasped his beloved's hips and he urgently bucked as he came.  Jiraiya's hips shifted slightly and he felt his Koishii's exquisite body contracting around him as he climaxed.**

**Ibiki's hands slipped up to his waist drawing him down to lay on top of him and stroking his back as they caught their breath.  "You are so perfect."**

 

Jiraiya smiled lovingly, Ibiki hadn't seemed disturbed when he used the word used so often by the ones who abused him... he knew it still brought bad memories, but in time it may become something that would cease being a source of pain.  "You are extraordinary, my amazing partner, so strong and I am very blessed to have you."

 

Ibiki kissed him, "I could never have come this far without the love and support of you and Kakashi.  I want so much... and you are helping me get to the point where nothing holds me back.  I love you, my Koishii."

 

After laying cuddled a few moments, Jiraiya suggested, "Let's take a shower, Kakashi will probably be gone a bit longer."

 

Ibiki nodded and they went in to shower, when his lover turned on the water and walked in, Jiraiya slipped into the shower behind him.  He cradled his beloved gently from behind, his hands stroking slowly over his stomach and he felt his Koishii lay back against him, his body relaxed.  Jiraiya was reluctant to shatter this wonderful moment but as he felt his partner's breathing quicken he continued stroking down to brush lightly over his pelvis.  Ibiki gave a soft moan, the sound was very enticing and Jiraiya could feel his own body responding.

 

Jiraiya lightly feathered his fingers over his lover's erection, teasing his need until he was moaning loudly.  Then enclosed the engorged flesh stroking him slowly and feeling his Koishii's hips rock into the temptation.  He almost felt like he was betraying his beloved by doing something that would distress him and hesitated to continue for a moment, then took his cock rubbing it against Ibiki's rim.

 

**As Ibiki thrust into his partner's hand he could feel the way Jiraiya was rubbing the head of his cock firmly against his entrance, not pressing in, but every rub brought the anxiety he would.  Jiraiya placed a kiss on his shoulder and gently asked, "Should I stop Koishii?"**

**Ibiki wanted to say yes... he wanted to move away, but nothing would ever change if he didn't continue trying to move past his fear.  "No... I want to enjoy this, not fear it."**

**Jiraiya kissed his ear and murmured, "Can you trust I will not hurt you?"**

**His beloved's voice soothing, this was the man who loved him, he would not hurt him.  Ibiki nodded, he couldn't speak right now his throat was dry and tight with fear.  He tried to calm himself, but as his lover's cock moved away and his damp finger circled his rim, slick with lube, Ibiki's heart pounded rapidly.   As much as this was frightening him he didn't want to say stop, he wanted to trust.**

**Jiraiya nuzzled his throat, "Remember you can say stop and I will... always, I will always listen my precious one."**

**Ibiki nodded drew a deep breath and relaxed as much as he could, "I trust you."  If his beloved pushed his cock in it would be because it would not cause him strong pain...**

 

Jiraiya could see the flex of Ibiki's muscles, his whole body was tensed at the belief he would push in, that assumption had to be corrected or his lover would not be able to relax.  "Koishii... I will never press into you without your acceptance." 

 

**Ibiki drew a deep breath, his fear ebbed, although he remained very anxious it was controllable.  While his heart still raced, some of his tension slipped away, "I want to feel your touches Jiraiya please continue."**

 

Jiraiya placed kisses over his beloved's throat, his fingers stroking subtle waves of Chakra over his balls and making him wish to stay completely still so he could feel more.  Jiraiya carefully held his cock exposing only the first part of the head, he would not take the chance his lover would move and his erection would enter him.  That was not what he desired, and would negate all he was trying to achieve.  He was trying to get Ibiki's body used to the firm press of his cock without clenching, he began rubbing the tip against the slick entrance firmly, as if he would push in but not firm enough to enter.

 

Ibiki flinched, but as Jiraiya continued his body relaxed accepting that the sensation would not turn to pain.  Very soft and husky he said, "It feels good." 

 

Jiraiya knew the husky tone of his lover's voice had more to do with anxiety than passion.  "You have the right to say stop, the right to move away."

 

**Ibiki's heart hammered harder, he knew his partner was going to do something distressing.  Jiraiya remained still, the head of his cock now not rubbing against him but pressing firmly against his slick entrance... he had to believe in his Koishii he had to trust, but his breath caught sharply at the feel of its insistent press.**

 

Jiraiya heard the fear in his lover's quiet gasp and reminded, "If you cannot bear it move away."  Nothing could be accomplished if it was terrifying him, his body could only accept it if he could relax and trust.

 

**Ibiki drew a deep breath and released it, "No... I will not move away, continue Koishii."  Jiraiya would never press in without asking him first, no matter how it felt, his beloved would not push into his body.**

 

Jiraiya continued pressing firmly then easing back, he could feel the muscles loosen as his lover's body began to trust.  He continued pressing until the area loosened allowing the head of his cock to start to push through.  Then shifted his arousal away, slipping the slick flesh between his partner's thighs and stroked his Koishii's semi flaccid length as he slowly but firmly bucked.  At the sensation of him thrusting between his thighs and rubbing against his balls, Ibiki's cock rapidly hardened.  Jiraiya continued 'fucking' the area and stroking his cock until his beloved was growing fevered with need. 

 

Jiraiya wanted to groan, as he shifted his erection out from the ecstasy of his lover's thighs.  It was extremely difficult to 'tease himself' so greatly, but he would never give in and push into his Koishii.  He reminded himself this was more important than sexual gratification, again he cupped the head of his cock and rubbed it firmly against his beloved's slick entrance.  Although Ibiki tensed a moment, he relaxed and to Jiraiya's joy moaned at the feel of the firm rub of his rim.  His partner was trusting and accepting the pleasure!

 

They both reached the point where they urgently needed release.  Jiraiya positioned himself to thrust between his lover's thighs as he skillfully stroked him, playing chakra over Ibiki's aching cock until he was bowed into his touch crying out in rapture as his body was allowed release.  Then gave a deep moan and bucked as his partner tightened his thighs, finally cumming and satisfying his own strong need.

 

**Ibiki lay resting against his beloved for several moments, both because after such a long tease and the tension he'd was wore out, but also because he needed this time to think.  The firm press... like he was going to thrust into him had been very alarming at first... but as he trusted it had felt good.  He understood the idea behind his lover's actions and felt so very blessed to have someone so incredible.  His Koishii was taking away the fear so he wouldn't immediately tense when he felt the head of his cock pressing at his entrance.  Ibiki truly believed that with this extraordinary man he could eventually learn not to fear it, and perhaps one day he'd even find only pleasure in it**.  

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

_Jiraiya and Ibiki were laying beside each other stroking each other affectionately when Kakashi walked in, the sight of his lovers nude bodies was very arousing, but what made him quickly strip and slip up to lay on the bed beside Ibiki was the love... he wanted to feel their loving caresses even more than sex_.

 

**Ibiki smiled at his wonderful Saiai and urged him to move over to between him and Jiraiya.  As the sensual man moved to lay on top of him Jiraiya moved closer and rubbed his back.**

 

_Kakashi remained laying contentedly on top of Ibiki as his lovers caressed him._

_"Precious Myobu, I am happy you are back."  Jiraiya said as his fingers brushed his cheek tenderly._

_Kakashi lay his head on Ibiki's chest and his hand gently stroked Jiraiya's warm skin as he looked at him.  "I love you both so much... this makes me happy."_

 

**Ibiki tried to hold back his moan, but there was no way he could hide the interest his cock was taking in his enthralling lover.  Kakashi lifted his head to look at him, "I want you in me."**

**Ibiki placed a kiss on his throat, "I could never deny you my beautiful Saiai."**

**Kakashi got a slightly hesitant look in his eyes, "I want you in me now."**

**Jiraiya caressed him and clarified, "You don't want to be prepared, you want to feel him inside filling you..."**

**Kakashi looked surprised, "Yes, to feel his cock inside, filling me... please."  He looked at Ibiki, "Can I?  I promise I won't hurt myself."**

**Ibiki nodded, today was a day for trust.  His lover had not hurt himself last time he'd done it, and their partner would never leave him do something that would hurt him... "Yes Saiai, I trust you."**

**Kakashi smiled, dropped his legs to the bed straddling his body and kissed him lovingly.  Ibiki broke the kiss to gasp as Jiraiya stroked a slick hand up his cock and positioned it to rub against their lover's rim.**

**Ibiki cupped his hips gently as his beloved slowly rocked his hips rubbing his entrance against his erection.  Kakashi gave little shivers and panted softly at the pleasure... his Saiai was so sensitive, so responsive to every touch, he was amazing!  As his lover moved against his swollen length he could feel him press lightly down on to his cock, then relax, until his body was giving slightly with every rub.  Kakashi stilled, and pressed a bit more firmly, then resumed rocking his hips**.

 

Jiraiya felt a deep love for both his lovers and happiness as his gorgeous Myobu 'tested' to see if his body would accept Ibiki inside... instead of continuing when he was still a bit too tight he'd resumed teasing himself.  Jiraiya smiled, the seductive little cries their beloved was making had to be teasing his Koishii greatly as well.  He watched their sensual partner still and press firmly again, the swollen head of Ibiki's cock slipped inside. 

 

_Kakashi remained still, placing tender kisses over Ibiki's chest as his body flexed around the temptation of his lover's erection, then loosened to allow him to drop down to the base.   He moaned, "You feel so good!  I love the feel of you... how your cock fills me full."_

_He couldn't really explain but this brought more than just sexual pleasure when he did this taking them into the tight hold of his body, feeling their cock completely filling him full he felt connected to them much more intimately._   

 

**Ibiki gave an amused groan, "You are a seduction unlike any other... so provocative without even knowing how incredibly sexy you are!"  His Saiai's body enclosed his cock in the tight hot grasp, tempting him and he could feel his erection flushing harder at the amazing sensation.  Kakashi shifted his hips slightly, gave a soft moan and did it again.  As his lover's body loosened Kakashi began rocking his hips, his extraordinary body stroking his cock and Ibiki gave long moans at the depths of his pleasure**.

 

Very soon both his lovers were crying out in ecstasy, the urgent rock of Kakashi's hips met with light bucks.  Jiraiya smiled as he saw his Myobu rise to his knees lifting and lowering his body on their partner's engorged length until Ibiki cried out in rapture as he reached his climax.

 

**Ibiki felt a flash of anxiety at his hard thrust, but then realized his beloved had been on his knees and if it had been too rough he would have lifted up.  Instead his Saiai now lay down on him kissing his chest and he softly pleaded, "Buck."**

**Ibiki gave gentle thrusts as his beloved cried out and came.    Kakashi now lay still, hugging him lovingly as they caught their breath.**

 

His Myobu looked over at him then down to his tempting erection, Jiraiya gave a soft laugh at the clear interest he showed.  His Koishii caressed their partner tenderly, when Kakashi rose off his sated length and lay between them, they both began teasing him. 

 

Ibiki's finger circled his nipples as his mouth lightly nibbled at his lower neck.  Kakashi cried out and trembled, his cock starting to flush hard once more.  Jiraiya's hand enclosed their lover's cock, stroking slowly and encouraging his rapidly growing arousal.  He continued caressing the sensitive flesh until his beloved was arching into his touch.  Then released his enticing cock and guiding his Myobu to straddle his hips.

 

_Kakashi was so excited he was breathless!  Jiraiya had positioned him straddling his body on his knees facing away!    Kakashi quickly he looked at Ibiki to see if this was upsetting him, but he looked fascinated and reacted to his look by brushing his finger over his arousal.  Kakashi gave a delighted little shiver at the tease, then a mew as Jiraiya cupped his hips, guiding him into rocking his hips._

_Kakashi moaned loudly, panting out cries of pleasure at the feel of his lover's erection rubbing against the back of his passage, it felt so wonderful!  Then Ibiki wrapped his hand around his cock and powerful waves of rapture flowed through him, he cried out rocking into his partner's touch and fucking himself on the hard length of Jiraiya's cock._

_Jiraiya gently cupped his hips, not restraining him... trusting him, the idea excited him further and he gave fevered cries of ecstasy as he urgently thrust into Ibiki's tempting grasp  and when he felt the soft bucks of Jiraiya's hips it felt too good to hold back.  He arched into Ibiki's hand as he came. but as his orgasm swept through him he lifted up on his knees and delighted in the feel of  Jiraiya bucking harder as he came.  Both men were breathless but Kakashi lifted up off Jiraiya's gratified flesh and lay happily between his partners again._

 

**Watching his erotic lover writhing in pleasure was nearly enough to arouse him once more, but his body was far too sated to respond.  He smiled at Jiraiya, it looked like they'd need a shower again but this time with their cherished partner.**

 

==========================================

 

The day Jiraiya had dreaded had finally come, Shizune had made all the arrangements and the book signing would start tomorrow.

 

**Ibiki had assigned two men as personal protection for Jiraiya, Kakashi and Hebi.  They were his two top ANBU, the council had agreed that the two top ANBU would be Security for the Sannin stating that he was a 'very important member of the Leaf Village' if anything happened it would 'make the Leaf village look bad'.**

 

Jiraiya had some doubts if it was a good idea, they were placing Kakashi in the spot light but didn't argue only asked, "Ibiki... he has to be in ANBU uniform whenever he's with me..." 

 

Jiraiya drew a deep breath, as he released it he felt very depressed, "and I won't be able to walk with you home... or be seen in the village with either of you."  He embraced his Koishii, "I need to protect you two, I can't risk you and I won't subject you to this 'Devil's Carnival.'"

 

Ibiki stroked his face tenderly, "We understand, I wish we could support you more through this."

 

Jiraiya forced a smile, "I will be fine, I've handled this all before..."  his smile disappeared, "but I never had so many precious people to protect.  I will do everything I can to keep this from affecting you and Kakashi... and all the other villagers... You know I should not be here."

 

Kakashi walked in right as Jiraiya said it and wrapped his arms around him from behind, "You belong here.  I won't let anything go wrong."

 

Jiraiya smiled, the deep love in his eyes meant so much.  His beautiful Kitsune was the sun in his world and Ibiki the earth, he could not live without them. "My amazing Myobu, I know you'll protect me."

 

Kakashi replied seriously, "I will not react and cause you problems... or embarrass you."

 

Jiraiya was appalled, he turned and wrapped his arms around his small lover, "You will never cause me problems, never!  You react anyway you wish, I trust you and nothing you could ever do would embarrass me my gorgeous Myobu."  Jiraiya drew Ibiki close, "I do not want you to change anything about yourself, either of you, I love you and you both are the most important part of my life.  Nothing is as important as my partners, your happiness is everything to me."

 

Ibiki took Kakashi's hand and stroked it with his thumb as he reassured him, "Just do as you would for any mission Saiai, I know you'll do well.  I trust you."

 

Again Jiraiya worried if it was a good idea for his cherished lover to be his guard, to have to watch people blatantly solicit him, some were quite determined... he wasn't concerned Kakashi may hurt one, he was concerned that watching this all day would make him distrustful and uncomfortable around others again.  But it was decided and he knew Ibiki had chosen both Kakashi and Hebi based on experience and skill, he accepted they would be his security, they'd deal with any issues that came from it.

 

**"Are we ready to go  home?"  Ibiki caressed Kakashi lightly, he was wondering if his Koishii was right, his Saiai's statement about not doing anything that would embarrass Jiraiya was disturbing.**

**Jiraiya looked a touch embarrassed, "I know no one is here yet... or supposed to be here.  But can we just transport?  I just don't want to take any chances..."**

**Ibiki nodded, Kakashi stroked Jiraiya's face and reassured, "It will be ok."**

**Jiraiya and he made the hand signs and were gone.  Ibiki walked out locking up his office stepped outside the ANBU building and made the hand signs to join his lovers.**

 

=================================================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 37**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 37: THE POWER OF BELIEF (ICE NINE KILLS)


	38. NEVER ALONE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 38)

**NEVER ALONE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 38)**

 

==================

 

_Ibiki had gone to work, as usual, but Jiraiya didn't have to show up in the market square for a few more hours.  Kakashi would soon need to go and get in his ANBU uniform, then he and Hebi would come get Jiraiya, but he knew just what he wanted to do for the time they had.  He urged Jiraiya to sit on bed and straddled his lap, rubbing his partner's cock against his entrance and teasing himself until he urgently desired Jiraiya's touch... everywhere!  His whole body ached for his skilled lover's caresses and when he pressed down on his beloved's engorged length it slipped into his eager body._

_"Don't let me cum." Kakashi begged and drew his knees up to rest on them as his beloved nodded. As much as he hungered for him, he really wanted to hear Jiraiya crying out and fevered with passion.  His lover's touch was ecstasy, slow tempting strokes that enflamed his need until he urgently bucked as he tried to cum.  Jiraiya blocked his release, continuing the enticing strokes of his cock and now gently rocking in his body._

_"Please, will you stay still?  But this will tease you..." Kakashi panted, and then whimpered in delight at the continued caress of his lover's hand on his turgid flesh, "Please, tease my cock with chakra._ "

 

Jiraiya knew what he was doing now...  yes, it was going to be a strong tease, but his Myobu was not worried, he trusted him and knew even if it tempted him greatly he would not move.

 

Jiraiya brushed teasing pulses over the engorged length of his beloved's erection, feeling his lover's passage tighten, the spasm of his muscles as he tried to cum and was denied.  The grasp of his gorgeous Myobu's body kept getting tighter, and the ripples of his muscles drawing on his cock stronger.  Kakashi's urgent cries were quickly joined by his, the grasp of his lover's body now tight as a fist around his cock and he panted at the temptation.  His beautiful Kitsune gave fevered moans and slowly rose up on his knees, rising until halfway up the throbbing length, whimpering in need he begged, "Cum with me!"

 

Jiraiya lifted his thumb and bucked up ravenously as beloved howled in rapture, his muscles giving rapid hard contractions as he was allowed to climax.  Jiraiya cried out as he came, and gave a few more  thrusts as he stroked up his lover's cock, sending a wave of chakra through his hand.  Kakashi arched into the pleasure and, as Jiraiya gave a last small buck, his sensual Myobu sank to the base.  His legs wrapped around Jiraiya and tightened, sinking the soft thrust deep and giving a moan as his muscles gave another contraction around the sated length.  Kakashi sighed contentedly, hugging him and laying his face against his chest.  "I liked that... I didn't hurt myself."

 

Jiraiya cupped his chin drawing his face up and kissing him, "I know and it felt very good."  Kakashi happily smiled and nodded, he could see relief in his precious lover's eyes at the reassurance of his trust.

 

Jiraiya lay back drawing his beloved down to cover him, cradled him to his body and rolled over to cover him, his gratified flesh sinking a bit deeper into his partner but most importantly covering his slender  lover the way he desired.

 

"Jiraiya..."  Kakashi panted then wrapped his arms around him.  "Thank you, this feels so good." 

 

Jiraiya placed a kiss on his flushed cheek.  "You amaze me, you are so perfect my Myobu."

 

That had been intense, he'd trusted that Kakashi wouldn't allow him to hurt him, and he hadn't... his beloved had known how very excited he'd been and rose up halfway so Jiraiya could buck as hard as he wished and it would not hurt him.

 

Jiraiya rested a bit more of his weight on his smaller partner, he knew his lover enjoyed the mild 'dominance' of the action, it was not unusual to feel that urge... it wasn't helplessness that he craved, it was that the feeling of being lightly 'pinned' gave him a secure feeling a feel of being wanted and protected.  His Kitsune had lacked the protection and security other children had received as they grew up.  Although Jiraiya felt no 'dominance' over him it was a desire he could fill for his wonderful beloved.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi walked into his Commander's office with Hebi for a final brief before going to escort Jiraiya.  Ibiki looked up at the two men and nodded, "The mission remains the same, the Hokage has strict orders that Jiraiya be protected from all threats, you are authorized to use any means to fill this directive.  Dismissed."_

_Kakashi followed Hebi from the room, Ibiki had stated they were to use 'any means'... including killing the threat. Tsunade was worried, but he would not let anything happen to Jiraiya and the ANBU assigned to the mission with him was a highly experienced operative.  Kakashi trusted him above all others, Hebi would not let anyone threaten Jiraiya_.

 

==================================

 

It did not take long after Jiraiya arrived in the market square for the first of many 'small incidences' to happen.  The man ran up and grabbed his arm, it did not seem like the ANBU security reacted but Jiraiya could see they were on high alarm and any sign of a problem would take the man down without hesitation... this he was certain about and not only because Kakashi was one of the Security on this 'mission'.  He knew Tsunade and he had no doubt she'd made it clear she wanted any trouble 'neutralized' immediately. 

 

He was causing Tsunade a great deal of stress, worrying about him worrying about the village, extra paperwork and handling the demands of both the council and the self important 'upper echelon' that showed up at any big 'event' to try to stay in the limelight... they could have the limelight for all he cared, all he wanted was to be alone with his lovers again.

 

Although his bodyguards did not seem to have moved much, their positions were a very clear warning and highly intimidating.  The man's hands quickly dropped and he gave them a nervous look before holding out one of Jiraiya's new novels and asking, "Will you sign my copy?  I love your work!" 

 

Jiraiya nodded but as he opened the crisp book it did not seem to have been read, was it a gift to woo a female he had his eye on?  "Who would you like this to be made out to?"  Jiraiya gave an amused smile as the man flushed and sputtered, "Yumi... how did you know?"

 

This brought a real laugh and Jiraiya teased, "I am pretty familiar with the 'interactions of couples'."  The man nodded and thanked him as he took the signed book, then turned and walked away.

 

The next incident later that day could have turned very bad very quickly,  the man quickly walked up began to draw something from his bag with a flash of metal... and was immediately disarmed, not by Kakashi but by Hebi as Kakashi shifted from beside Jiraiya to a guard position before him.

 

The veteran ANBU  did not take chances.  The man looked shocked, Jiraiya knew he was still confused what happened.  The movie prop weapon was now residing in the ANBU security agents palm, he'd relieved the man of the potentially dangerous object before he'd even gotten it fully out of his bag, inspected it and now offered it handle first to Jiraiya. 

 

The man looked very shaken but Jiraiya was without sympathy for his mild fright.  On entering the village everyone was given the same list of regulations, the first was 'NO WEAPONS OF ANY TYPE WILL BE CARRIED', they were to be turned in at the gate.  Anyone who did not agree was not allowed in, the man should be glad it had been an ANBU that relieved him of the 'weapon', it was very realistic and another Leaf Nin may have thought it real.  Detainment and expulsion from the village was the least of his concerns, all the nin were on high alert and it could have gotten him badly injured. 

 

Kakashi had shifted to the side once more he moved so fluidly that it was not noticeable until you realized he was standing to the side once more.  Jiraiya didn't take the fake weapon, he would not sign it as the man had hoped, to do so would be to encourage others to try the same foolishness.  He looked at Hebi and gave a slight shake of his head.   Hebi stepped back made a hand sign, the patrol dropped down and took the weapon then disappeared. 

 

Jiraiya  now looked seriously at his disappointed 'fan', "You will be able to reclaim it when you leave the village.  I would suggest any other weapons or items that resemble weapons be turned in at the gate immediately." 

 

The man sighed and nodded, he looked so dejected that Jiraiya pulled a copy of one of his novels out of the bag he'd brought, signed it and handed it to him.  The delighted man thanked him profusely and walked off with a smile.  Jiraiya had brought a few of his novels to give out but most people had brought their own copy to be signed.  The next person walked up and Jiraiya's tedious day continued.

 

\------------------------

 

When it was time for the shops to close Jiraiya left as well.  Kakashi remained in uniform and in guard position, as did Hebi, as they walked home.  Jiraiya wished he and Kakashi could walk up to meet Ibiki and walk him home, but he would not give anyone a sign that they were his lovers, no one knew and it was best it stay that way.

 

Jiraiya's ANBU guard stopped at the door of his house, when he walked in both men made the hand signs disappearing... but Kakashi was only transporting into the living room.  Jiraiya wove a Genjutsu around them until he was sure the windows were covered.

 

Now in the privacy of their home Kakashi removed his mask and Jiraiya kissed his cherished lover, then commented.  "Did it distress you when the man drew the 'weapon'?"

 

Kakashi shook his head and stroked his chest as he replied, "I had already identified it, it was not a functional weapon, but I would have verified it. I am grateful for Hebi verifying it... I am not so gentle.  He is... good with diplomacy..."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "But even if you had not been 'gentle' he was knowingly breaking a serious rule, it was justified."

 

Kakashi lay against his chest, still in his ANBU uniform, he looked troubled.  "I'm not sure I should be one of your security, I'm a mission ANBU... I would have reacted without restraint." 

 

Jiraiya kissed his temple, "You are judging yourself too harshly my Kitsune."  Jiraiya nuzzled his ear softly and murmured, "I trust you Myobu, nothing will change that."

 

Kakashi gave a small shiver and looked up his eyes now dark with passion.  "I want you."

 

Jiraiya kissed his lover's throat then lead him into the bedroom stripping away his seductive partner's clothes.   Then groaning in delight as his beloved slowly removed his, placing kisses over his now bare chest.

 

_Kakashi was very aroused, his hands swept over Jiraiya's sexy body, "I want to tease you."_

_Jiraiya smiled, "Please do Myobu."_

_Kakashi gave an excited shiver and lightly brushed seductive waves of chakra over his nipples as his other hand slipped down to free his beloved's cock, he wanted to take it in his mouth but resisted.  Resisting became a bit more difficult as he sank down to draw Jiraiya's pants off and he gave the head a soft lick that brought a loud delighted moan from his lover._

_Kakashi rose caressing his partner's enticing body, cupping his balls and running his finger over the silky skin behind them, then asked, "Please lay."_

_Jiraiya lay down on the bed, and Kakashi lay down beside him and kissed his way down to the tender skin of his pelvis, but continued to resist the strong desire he had to feel his beloved's cock in his mouth_.

 

Jiraiya was breathless just from the tease of his lover's mouth, his cock giving soft throbs.  Kakashi brought over the lube and lightly circled Jiraiya's rim with a slick finger and he gave a breathless cry at the captivating sensation.  His lover's touch was nirvana!  Kakashi had such soft hands every brush of them would have been a strong tease without chakra, and with the added stimulation of chakra, his touch was nearly overwhelming ecstasy!

 

_Kakashi smiled, Jiraiya didn't need to be prepared but he had been missing the astounding pleasure it brought, it was so much more than to loosen muscles.  Slowly as if preparing him he sent sparks of chakra over the sensitive area, Jiraiya gasped then groaned, his muscles jumping as he resisted bucking down into the temptation._

_Kakashi was delighted and pressed the finger gently in sending a soft wave of chakra up inside his partner and hearing his ecstatic cry.  Kakashi was growing desperately aroused at watching him but he was determined to resist as long as possible.  He stroked his finger in his lover's body then slipped it out and teased his beloved's entrance with two before pushing in and sending stronger pulses up into the hot grasp.  Jiraiya was panting and trembling softly, clearly enjoying it immensely, which made resisting the urge to taste him a bit easier.  Kakashi drew them out and circled his rim with three before slowly pressing them in and sending strong waves of chakra up into his core listening to him cry out as he fucked his ass with them._

_His eyes rested on Jiraiya's extremely engorged length, he really loved the feel of his lovers cocks in his mouth.  The sensation of his tongue sweeping over the smooth hard flesh exploring every inch and tracing the place behind the head of his cock, stroking over the area until his beloved was giving urgent moans, probing the slit to taste his precum... his partners  bodies were spectacular._

_Kakashi gave in to the temptation to take it into his mouth and bobbed on it eagerly.  He wanted to feel Jiraiya cumming in his mouth and released him to urge "Let me feel you cum"._

_Kakashi sucked on the head and stroked the shaft, then drew back from the enthralling length as he pressed his fingers deep and sent a powerful surge of chakra up into his beloved's body.  Jiraiya arched howling in rapture as he climaxed and Kakashi gave an ecstatic cry.  Quickly he dropped down to suck his cock as his lover 's hips gave softer thrusts and then flicked his tongue over the head getting a loud moan and a last buck._  

 

Kakashi released him and looked up as he sent a low hum of chakra through his fingers as he slipped them out.  Jiraiya gave a soft groan his body trying to become aroused once more and as Kakashi rose up to lay beside him he laughed and kissed him, "You are very good at driving me wild with need Myobu..."  

 

Jiraiya's finger brushed over the turgid head of his beloved's rigid length and Kakashi gave a loud moan bucking into the touch.  "Would you like my mouth or to feel my body grasping your cock?"

 

His Myobu gasped,  "I want to feel your body!" 

 

Jiraiya gave a big smile and spread his legs as his partner covered him, Kakashi whined softly as he tried to press in gently.  Jiraiya cupped his face and reassured, "You will not hurt me, and you prepared me very well." 

 

Given this reassurance, Kakashi gave a urgent cry, thrusting into the depths as Jiraiya moaned and encouraged, "Ah you feel so good!" 

 

As Kakashi feverishly fucked him and gave seductive little whimpers of pleasure and desire, Jiraiya flushed hard.  He rocked into his partner's thrusts, then tightened his muscles around his lover's turgid flesh.  Jiraiya felt deep satisfaction as his beloved howled in rapture and gave several deep bucks as he reached his orgasm.  Jiraiya tilted his hips and cried out as he came, his muscles continuing to flex around Kakashi's cock as his Myobu bucked into him and fulfilled his desperate need, then lay panting on top of him. 

 

Jiraiya massaged his back smiling down at his precious lover, Kakashi was exceptional in every way.  He'd forgotten the pleasures of being slowly fingered, he'd been teased until his body ached to feel the thrust of a cock... he'd never felt so free with any of his past partners.

 

They rose, showered and lay waiting for their lover to come home.  Kakashi caressed Jiraiya's chest as he thought, then looked up and announced, "I wish we could go walk with Ibiki."

 

Jiraiya nodded and smiled adoringly at his extraordinary partner, he wished that too but it was even more wonderful that Kakashi longed for it, once walking through the village had been highly distressing to him,  his Myobu was getting so much stronger.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

Ibiki had made a decision while walking home, a few days had passed since the first time he had taken Jiraiya inside his body... it was time to try again.

 

His nude and incredibly sexy lovers were in the bedroom, laying and caressing each other.  The sight was enthralling, his partners bare bodies brought an immediate reaction from his own and his Saiai's eyes filled with excitement as he stripped.  His beloved's riveting eyes lingered on his erection a moment before rising to meet Ibiki's.

 

_Kakashi could see a hint of anxiety in Ibiki's eyes and did not touch him even as he lay on the bed beside them.  He just waited for him to talk, what he said surprised Kakashi, but he noticed it had not surprised Jiraiya at all._

_Ibiki's eyes held a hint of distress, "I want to try again, I want to feel you in me.  Tell me what to do._ "

 

Jiraiya stroked his beloved's body both soothing him, but also judging his tension, "Just lay on top of me Koishii, let me feel your amazing body on mine."

 

**Ibiki nodded, even though he 'wanted' this his muscles were tensed and he felt anxiety about being 'touched'.  But the touch of his beloved was not what he'd expected, Jiraiya's loving caresses and massage of his body both relaxed him and was a reminder that this was the man he loved... all he wanted was to give him pleasure... he wanted that pleasure and there would be no strong pain like last time, this time he'd listen to Jiraiya.  Kakashi was tenderly stroking his upper back and shoulders, loving touches that helped calm him**.

 

Jiraiya could see his lover thinking through how he felt, this was good, he never wanted his Koishii to just do something if he wasn't sure it was what he wanted.  Ibiki's muscles had tightened as he thought but relaxed a bit as his gaze became certain. 

 

"Will you kiss me Koishii?"  Jiraiya urged.

 

**Ibiki gave a little groan at the seductive purr of his lover, then kissed him passionately.    When they broke the kiss he could feel the knead of Jiraiya's hands on his ass, but it was as if he was just enjoying the feel of him.**

**Jiraiya moaned softly, "You feel so wonderful on top of me, I wish to rock against you... can I?"**

**Ibiki reached down to position his Koishii's cock against the part of his ass, he was a bit uncertain now, but reminded himself they had done this many times, brought each other pleasure by feeling their bodies rock against each other.**

**Jiraiya slowly rocked his hips and Ibiki moaned at the incredible feel of it teasing his ass, he  looked over at Kakashi and urged, "Touch me... please Saiai."**

**Kakashi gave him a loving smile and his fingers stroked gently, the chakra pulses so subtle that at first he didn't even notice but as they grew they amplified his need.**  

 

[i] _Kakashi was delighted as Ibiki moaned, watching their partner's cock thrusting against Ibiki's ass was a tremendous tease.  Kakashi gave a soft whimper as his own cock flushed harder and he brushed his fingers over his aching flesh._

_He was surprised to see Ibiki watching him, his gaze rapt, his voice was husky with desire, "My sexy Saiai."_

_Kakashi imitated the way he stroked his partner's cocks, then whimpered again, this time in pleasure and growing excitement as Ibiki remained watching him intently.  Kakashi teased himself, rotating his hand as he stroked his throbbing flesh, but it was Ibiki's reaction to the sight that truly thrilled him. Ibiki groaned, his breathing rapid in excitement, his eyes slipping from his face down to his erection then lifting to watch his face again with his eyes darkened in passion.   Kakashi held back from his climax, teasing himself as his lover watched in lust, his beloved was extremely aroused at the way he cried out and arched as he bucked into his hand and came._

_Ibiki groaned, "Saiai... you have no idea how sensual you are as you writhe... the seduction of your parted lips._ "

 

Jiraiya nodded, he'd taken the distraction to dampen his finger and his other hand massaged down his beloved's body, tracing the part of his ass with light pulses of chakra but not pressing between.

 

**Ibiki moaned softly, as the waves played over his ass, he quickly decided he wanted the ecstasy of it on his rim.  His legs dropped to the sides straddling his Koishii and baring his entrance to his skilled lover's fingers, the feather of his fingers brought deep groans of pleasure and the strong desire for more.  Jiraiya's other hand joined the tease the slick finger rested against his rim a moment.**

 

Jiraiya was waiting to see if it frightened or made him anxious but saw no sign of it so slowly rubbed the slick digit around the tender flesh of his beloved's rim.

 

**Ibiki groaned louder, the sensations brought by his Koishii's slick finger felt so intense and with every time it brushed over the center it sent a stronger pulse over the area.  Ibiki felt his Saiai's fingers lightly stroking his body, he was so aroused by his lovers that his cock was engorged with need, pounding softly in demand for more of the astounding pleasure.**

**Ibiki panted as he met his Koishii's eyes and saw no denial in them as he pressed down taking his partner's finger inside.  He froze for a moment at the knowledge he was being prepared for being fucked, but his Saiai's fingers now rest at his tailbone sending chakra pulses into his body and tempting him into sinking down to take Jiraiya's finger all the way... but it wasn't enough he wanted more and he rocked his hips into his lover's touch.**

**Then the extreme pleasure was gone as Jiraiya's finger slipped out, his body was desperate to feel those addictive pulses within again and as two slick fingers trailed over his rim he pressed down only to have them move away.  Then they returned, continuing to tease his rim until Ibiki urgently desired to feel them inside and when they paused he pushed down taking them in.  Immediately the strong pleasure resumed, Ibiki rocked on them stroking the glorious pulses all along his passage, "Ah Koishii!"**

**The ecstasy built until he was approaching his climax then withdrew.  Ibiki groaned, the overwhelming need to feel them inside again prompted him to try to drop down upon the thicker width that teased his rim.  Ibiki pressed down and as the gathered fingers entered he felt a powerful surge of the incredible waves of pleasure.  Ibiki rocked slowly on them wanting to feel those wonderful pulses deeper and soon was moving on them faster, trying to get the overwhelming  rapture further into his body.**

**When the gathered fingers slipped out Ibiki trembled in need, he was growing desperate to feel the intense pleasure and pressed down into the slick thickness that lingered at his entrance.  The sudden realization it was Jiraiya's cock sent a chill through him, but then the hard length moved away and the teasing waves continued.   The exquisite sensations once more only playing over his rim, Ibiki wanted them inside again so much that when the pulses stopped he pushed down again.**

**Again he felt the sensation of the slick head of Jiraiya's cock but his lust had grown to a point he needed to feel something moving in him and a bit hesitantly he pressed against it and as he did the wonderful strong pulses around his entrance continued.  Ibiki's body loosened and as he pressed firmer, the pulses of chakra stroking down his spine from his Saiai's caress rested at his tail bone and an equality powerful pulse played over his rim from his Koishii's fingers.  He pressed into the ecstasy and felt the spike of pain as Jiraiya's cock slid through the ring of muscles into his body, a wave of fear raced through him, but with the powerful pulse of chakra on his tail bone as a distraction the fear faded...**

**He still felt uneasy, but the memory of how Jiraiya's cock stroked over that intensely pleasurable area within tempted him.  His powerful need, heightened by the tease of their chakra, brought his decision.  He slowly dropped down on his partner's erection to the base, then paused a moment.  The feeling of it deep within was a bit disturbing but as the pulses tracing his rim and resting at his tailbone continued, Ibiki rocked his hips.  His heart was drumming rapidly and, as he felt his lover's cock move within him, he couldn't tell if it was fear or ecstasy that was leaving him breathless.**

 

Jiraiya cupped his hips gently urging him to stop, "Koishii, kiss me."  Ibiki had to be certain he wanted this, he looked very conflicted and needed this time to steady himself.  This must be a completely consensual act, for there to be no doubts, no hint of the terrible emotions tied to the trauma of his past.

 

**Ibiki kissed Jiraiya, the love in his extraordinary partner's eyes and the tender way he kissed him calmed his heart beat.  Kakashi looked concerned and Jiraiya softly asked, "Did we tease you into something you do not want?"**

**Kakashi's cheeks tinted as he said, "I just was so excited by your cries and..."**

**Ibiki shook his head and urged him, "Lay beside us I wish to touch you, to feel both my exceptional lovers. " Kakashi lay beside them and he stroked his face affectionately, "Neither of you teased me into something I do not wish, I promise you.  Although I felt a bit overwhelmed by my two incredibly sexy partners that is not really a 'bad' thing.  It made it hard to concentrate on any one thing, but I think we have to go a bit slower."**

 

Jiraiya massaged his back, the strong stimulation had kept his Koishii from thinking of the past so his body did not tense as he entered him, but had left him feeling like he was not in control.   It was understandable, he needed to feel all this was actions he was enjoying with them not things being done to him.

 

**Ibiki felt so lucky to have both his partner's love.  Although his cock still throbbed with need he wanted to take it slower, the intensity was too much.  He just wanted to feel his Koishii, the enticing glide of his arousal within him, and the loving caress of his Saiai.  His finger stroked his beloved's cheek, "Saiai, I want your touch..." he met Jiraiya's eyes, "and to feel you move within me."**

**Both his lover's nodded and as Ibiki cautiously rocked his hips, Kakashi swept gentle pulses of chakra down his spine.  The pulses felt more soothing than stimulating, although there was no denying his body was very enthusiastic about the sensation.**

**As Ibiki slowly rocked his hips he grew more confident, the seduction of that strong pleasure Jiraiya could give him was very tempting, but he wanted to see... "Jiraiya, I want to feel you move within me, will you rock your hips?"**

**Jiraiya did not look reluctant, he smiled tenderly, "Yes Koishii.** "

 

Just like he'd stilled Kakashi's movements and carefully rocked his cock, he did so with his Koishii.  He was proud that even now Ibiki wished to take it further.  Jiraiya heard Ibiki's surprised gasp and smiled, his partner was amazing, so sexy!

 

**The feel of Jiraiya moving within him was different than when he moved on his Koishii's hard length... these sensations were a slow steady seduction the pleasure stronger than before but not overwhelming.**

**Ibiki moaned and relaxed into his Koishii, feeling his partner's cock gently stroking his passage.  Every movement brought that teasing hint of the deep pleasure his lover could give him and the caress of his Saiai trailing chakra over his back and tracing his spine added to the temptation and the ecstasy.**

**Ibiki groaned softly, "I love your touch Saiai...  and the feel of you moving inside me Koishii."  Jiraiya gave him a tender smile, his eyes full of adoration,  both his lover's brought him strong pleasure but more than that, they made him feel deeply loved.**

**Jiraiya's hands lightly massaged his hips and as Ibiki's body loosened eager for stronger stimulation, the slow rock was a bit faster, but not thrusts... the wonderful slick flesh rubbing over his rim and the inside of his body.  He began rocking into the pleasure, his body extremely aroused and his desire now very strong.  Jiraiya looked in his eyes with love, only love showed although he knew this was teasing his Koishii.**

 

Ibiki's voice held a bare hint of uneasiness, but most of all need, "Please can I feel... "

 

Jiraiya gave a loving smile, he was beginning to crave the stimulation of being 'fucked' and remember the extreme pleasure.  "Can I cup your hips Koishii?"

 

Ibiki immediately replied, "Yes.  I want this."

 

Jiraiya studied his eyes, and as he tilted his hips he stilled Ibiki's movements.  Then gave soft bucks up into his beloved as Ibiki gasped, then cried out in ecstasy.  Jiraiya loosened his grasp a bit allowing his Koishii to rock into his thrusts and listening to his precious lover moaning ecstatically as he came, but his partner continued rocking into the rapture seeking more. 

 

Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya then placed his fingers at Ibiki's tailbone and sent a powerful pulse of chakra into the area.  Ibiki's hips rocked into his cock again, Jiraiya felt the strong contraction of his lover's body and the continuing ripples as he reacted to the intense pleasure of a second orgasm.  But even if he had not felt it, the rapture of his beloved's cries left no doubt of the extreme pleasure he felt.

 

Jiraiya was very proud of his intuitive Myobu, he'd helped bring the powerful waves of ecstasy of a second orgasm without Ibiki having to 'fuck' himself any more.  

 

**Ibiki relaxed on top of his Koishii, his body still tingling at the lingering pleasure... the feel of Jiraiya's cock resting inside him as his body continued reacting to the powerful pleasure felt good... not 'strange' like before...   "You didn't cum."  That was a part of having sex he enjoyed as greatly as an orgasm, possibly even more, hearing his lover's cries of rapture and knowing he was giving him that powerful wave of pleasure**.

 

Jiraiya smiled gently, "No, not this time." 

 

Ibiki had gotten no strong pain or fear from this, he needed these pleasant experiences to help him put everything that happened away, to completely separate this from the abuse in his past.

 

Ibiki stroked his cheek, "Please Koishii... I want to hear your pleasure.  Kakashi can pin your legs, I want to feel the jump of _your_ cock inside me."

 

Jiraiya nodded, and accepted his beloved wanted to 'replace' his bad memories with good ones, it was something they all wanted.  For the 'ghosts' of Ibiki's past to be swept away and to only remember the pleasure they gave and received from each other.

 

Slowly he resumed rocking his hips, his erection slipped along his lover's slick passage, the tight grasp and long tease had brought a strong yearning for release but it was something he could ignore... the fact his partner did not wish him to ignore it aroused him further.  Jiraiya panted in ecstasy and breathlessly cried out, "Koishii, I love the feel of you!" 

 

**Ibiki was very excited to see the strong pleasure on  his Koishii's face, he was too sated to become aroused but it brought him deep satisfaction.  Both his lover's cries of rapture filled him with joy, he was so blessed to have their love**. 

 

_Kakashi straddled Jiraiya's legs, he was worried the feel of his body 'behind' Ibiki would be distressing and stroked down his spine with a soft hum of chakra.  He didn't really have to try very hard to 'pin' Jiraiya's legs, their partner was astounding in how great of control he had, his muscles flexed but he did not really move much even as he gave in to the deep pleasure of his orgasm_.

 

**Ibiki only felt a momentary flash of anxiety as his Koishii moaned in rapture and his cock bucked within him.  He concentrated only on his lovers, both the seductive sounds of his beloved's ecstasy and the warm relaxing glide of his Saiai's hands massaging down his spine wiped away any hint of distress.**

**Kakashi moved off Jiraiya's legs, but remained sitting to the side lovingly stroking his back.  Ibiki caressed his Koishii's face tenderly, "I love you."  He looked at Kakashi, "I am the luckiest man alive to have such extraordinary men love me."**

**It would be many more times before his anxiety and flashes of fear eased... Ibiki paused, he was surprised at the revelation... he intended on doing this again... many more times... incredible!  Jiraiya and Kakashi had changed his whole life with their love and understanding**.[/b]  

 

Jiraiya could feel how relaxed his partner was, at this moment he didn't fear there would be pain as he withdrew... but that might change.  Ibiki looked lovingly in his eyes, "I know you will not hurt me... tell me what you wish me to do."

 

His beloved's passage was damp with his cum, it truly would not hurt, not like the discomfort of his sore body before, although the head of his cock leaving the tight hold of Ibiki's body would still bring a flash of pain.  His Koishii's muscles would be a bit sore after, but no strong pain.

 

**Jiraiya smiled, barely hidden relief behind the sincere adoration in his gaze.  "It will feel good, slowly slipping up off my cock, enjoy the silky stroke..."**

**Ibiki nodded, and he was surprised when Jiraiya was proven very right, the slick flesh rubbed along the inside of him like a tease and even knowing there would be a brief flash of mild pain as the head left his body seemed inconsequential after the amazing pleasure**.

 

Ibiki showed no distress as the head slid out, he did not seem bothered at all, his exceptional beloved!  So strong!  Ibiki kissed him deeply then rose off him.  To Jiraiya, and Kakashi's, surprise he slipped up to seated against the headboard, took Kakashi's hand drawing him up to straddle his lap and kissed him passionately.

 

**He loved both his partners so very much and this was more than just the urge to touch his Saiai, although he definitely did wish to do that after seeing his lover stroking his cock and crying out so temptingly... this was also a reassurance that he was fine... he really was not hurt or distressed.**

 

Jiraiya smiled as he watched Ibiki's fingers tease their lover's erection, then decided to join.  Ibiki looked at him as he moved to beside them and urged, "Touch us, please Koishii."

 

Jiraiya's smile widened, Ibiki wanted him to arouse him... that he'd gladly do.  Jiraiya's hand enclosed their cocks and sent low pulses of chakra through his fingers to tease them as his hand stroked and circled tempting his lovers to urgently aroused.

 

**Jiraiya's touch was amazing, but what made him almost immediately hard was the wanton mews their lover gave as he trembled in pleasure.  Ibiki groaned, his voice husky as he caressed his beloved's cheek, "So sexy!"**

**Kakashi turned his head, caught his hand and drew Ibiki's finger in his mouth, sucking softly as his tongue flicked and stroked over the pad.**

**Jiraiya laughed as Ibiki gave a loud groan his cock now rigid with extreme need.  Kakashi released his finger and asked "Please... I want you in me."**

**He looked like he expected to be denied, but Ibiki had no intention of denying his seductive lover, he traced his damp finger around Kakashi's nipple as he purred, "I want you Saiai."**

 

Kakashi gave a little excited whimper and then a thankful gaze at Jiraiya as he drew lube and coated Ibiki's cock, an action that brought a hiss of pleasure and need from his Koishii.  His sensual Myobu gasped as Jiraiya's finger stroked lube around his entrance, pressing gently until Kakashi's muscles welcomed his well coated finger inside then he slipped his finger out and gladly watched his lovers ecstasy.

 

_When his partner positioned the head of his cock at his entrance Kakashi he shivered happily and rubbed his rim against it .  Softly pressing, then lifting to kiss him passionately, and then pressing again.  By the time he did it the third time the head of his beloved's erection slipped into his tight body.  Kakashi moaned in delight at the feel of his lover inside him, then nervously paused and studied Ibiki's eyes, but he saw no anxiety... his partner trusted him!_

_Kakashi began hungrily kissing him, after a few moments he slowly dropped down to take his beloved into him to the base. Ibiki groaned in pleasure and Kakashi kissed his throat ecstatically, his trust made everything so perfect!  As his body loosened he carefully rocked his hips, his body was now every eager for the pleasure and  loosened rapidly until he was rising and falling on the glorious length crying out in joy at the feel of his lover_. 

 

**Ibiki gently kneaded his ass cheeks and gave soft bucks into the drop of his body until his Saiai was breathless with ecstasy and he braced down eagerly as Ibiki gave rapid shallow thrusts up.**

**Ibiki felt the cup of Jiraiya's hands cover his where they rested on Kakashi's hips, and the way he angled their lover's hips.  Then groaned as Kakashi howled in rapture at his climax, the draw of his Saiai's body so strong that Ibiki was panting, overcome by the intense  pleasure.  He bucked up into the powerfully contracting passage until he couldn't resist it any longer and then gave a cry as he gave into the ecstasy, filling his beloved's body with his release.**

 

It had never been pain that had been the issue, only fear and now they had a wonderful start on banishing that for good.  Jiraiya was filled with joy, they would continue having occasional issues but nothing that was not able to be handled, it felt like all the bad was behind them now.   They'd come so far and reached further than he'd ever dreamed they could do this fast, he'd known his Koishii could do it, but that he was able to do it so quickly showed how extraordinary and strong his beloved was.  It was time to shower and massage his amazing lovers, then they could go make their meal.

 

===========================

 

As Jiraiya 'met ' his ANBU security outside and started up the road towards the market square he dwelled on the only source of comfort he had, this would be over soon.  Only a few more days, he  couldn't wait to be able to do all the things he'd longed for... to walk with his lovers and to feel Ibiki's fingers softly stroke his palm.

 

 Once in the square Jiraiya took a seat where he was expected to, was swarmed by the fans and listened to the pleas of the amateur producers that hoped to make a name for themselves by getting the rights to make a film based on one of his other novels.  Although it did no good, he explained every time that they needed to talk to his publisher, it was not a decision he could arbitrarily make.

 

A crackpot predictably showed up, one or two always did every time there was a book signing and it did not surprise Jiraiya when he was approached.  The irate man stood yelling insults and condemning him for his 'sick mind'.  Jiraiya patiently waited for him to tire, to speak only gave the man fuel to continue and soon he would storm away, it wasn't something he hadn't had happen dozens of times in his life.

 

Everything was going as predicted when the man threw something at him, Kakashi had quickly shifted to block the object, but now Jiraiya was furious at the 'attack' on his beloved.  He wanted to seriously  injure the man and barely held back.  Only the knowledge it would shame his Myobu if he 'rescued one of his security' stopped him.  His beloved remained blocking the man from Jiraiya, but there was no need to worry.  It took less than a second after the man's foolish act for Hebi to have swept his legs out from beneath him.  He now straddled the man, his knees resting on his forearms pinning him helplessly to the ground, his kunai drawn and laid across his throat.

 

There was a calm ruthlessness to him that was more frightening than if he'd been angry.  Umi leapt down from a tree and without a word Hebi rose and Umi drew the man up taking him away.  Hebi had sheathed his weapon and now both Jiraiya's security stood unobtrusively to the side once more.

 

Anyone had not been looking their direction would not have even known something happened, it was swift and quiet, the problem neutralized without anyone becoming alarmed.  The zealot would spend some time being questioned to make sure this wasn't part of a larger threat then removed from the village and banned, under the threat that to return would be considered an act of aggression against the Leaf Village and would be 'handled accordingly'.

 

Jiraiya tried to relax, but he wanted to hold his Myobu so much.  The object would not have hurt him, at least not badly.  It had been a mangled copy of one of his novels, but that didn't matter, only that the man had threatened his precious lover.

 

Hebi subtly looked at him, Jiraiya nodded, the gentle chastisement put everything in perspective.  Kakashi had done his job, this was what his partner was supposed to do and he had to accept and respect his beloved.  He had no doubt his lover felt the same way about the man trying to throw something at him, but had refrained from attacking the idiot, he did as he was supposed to and protected Jiraiya as Hebi eliminated the threat.

 

When the evening finally came Jiraiya was mentally exhausted,  being gracious to every fawning producer and the publisher who tried to convince him they 'would be good for his career' had wore away his patience until he'd had difficulty being polite in his denials.  What he wanted most right now was to feel his lovers touches, to kiss them and let the love in their eyes sweep away all the irritations of the day.

 

Hebi and Kakashi escorted him home then disappeared, Jiraiya was very thankful that the experienced Jounin choose to do the daily report so he could be with his Myobu.  Jiraiya walked in and waved a Genjutsu over the room as his beloved quickly cuddled into him.  It had not occurred to him that Kakashi was far from used to the crackpots and their, usually verbal, attacks.  His gorgeous Kitsune had been shaken by the addled man's hostility.

 

Jiraiya cradled his beloved and crooned, "This happens, sometimes there's a few... 'strange' individuals.  It's over and I'm so proud of you.  I did not handle it as well as I usually do and if Hebi hadn't immobilized him I may have hurt him."

 

Kakashi looked up in surprise, but his voice was worried.  "Did the things he say hurt you?"

 

Jiraiya gave a small smile, "No.  I've heard much worse, nothing he said would bother me..."  Jiraiya looked seriously down at him and stroked his face, "When he hit you with the book I was extremely upset." 

 

Kakashi hugged him and slipped his hand into his shirt to lay over Jiraiya's heart.  "I am ok... I don't like people threatening you... it's hard not to react."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "But you did very well my beautiful Myobu, I love you so much."

 

Kakashi sighed, "If he'd hit you, I would have killed him... it would have upset people."

 

Jiraiya massaged his lover's back calming him, "He would never have hit me, you would not have allowed it."   If the man had hit him Tsunade would have probably killed him if Kakashi hadn't and they would have needed to get the fool out of the village quickly.  His friend was 'volatile' at times, but her 'passion' was one of many things he adored about her.

 

\-------------------------

 

**Ibiki walked in and saw his lovers holding each other, Hebi had said that while Kakashi had not 'threatened' the attacker , for a moment he'd thought Jiraiya would 'injure' the man.  That was very like his Koishii, and a consideration he had not taken into thought when assigning Kakashi to be their lover's bodyguard.**

**Jiraiya would not have reacted well if it had been something more serious than a novel that was thrown and hit their partner... and Tsunade was probably ripping her hair out in fury right now after reading the daily summery of village activities.**

**Instances would happen, they would handle them.  The crazed man had not been part of a larger plan, all would be fine.  He tenderly embraced his lovers, Kakashi looked at him curiously, then feathered his fingers lightly over the cloth covered length of Ibiki's rapidly hardening cock.**

**Jiraiya laughed as Ibiki groaned, "So tempting the two of you are enough to drive me wild!"**

**Kakashi looked fascinated and bared his lover's erection, wrapping his hand around the eager length and slowly stroking him.**

 

_He loved touching them, Ibiki felt so good that Kakashi's cock now strained at the front of his pants as  urgently as his partner's.  He began stripping away the restrictive cloth of Ibiki's clothes, as Kakashi bared his beloved's sexy body, Jiraiya stripped himself and then began stripping him .  He looked back at Jiraiya, although Ibiki's erection was a strong tease, his lover still felt a bit uneasy when he took him in his throat.  No, he wanted to watch Ibiki's face as Jiraiya sucked their partner's cock.  "Jiraiya I want to see you sucking his cock."_

 

Jiraiya smiled, "Gladly."  He placed a kiss on Ibiki's throat, "Let's go into the bedroom."

 

The three men went into the bedroom and Jiraiya urged his Koishii to lay down, then kissed his way down his body.  As he reached their lover's pelvis, Kakashi circled Ibiki's nipple and caressed his chest softly as he watched.  Then looked over at the night table, took the lube and set it by Ibiki's thigh... he looked uncertain if he should have done it, but his Myobu's worries were swept away by the hunger in Ibiki's dark eyes.

 

Jiraiya had continued down and lay between his legs, kissing his inner thighs, but not touching all the areas that were now desperate for his touch.  He wanted to try something; would his Koishii still enjoy being fingered if not enticed by chakra into pressing into his touch?  Jiraiya flicked his tongue over his beloved's sensitive rim, teasing his body with the light flicks until when he stroked over his partner's entrance it quickly relaxed accepting his tongue inside.  After a few minutes of rimming his sexy lover, Jiraiya drew back and dampened his finger with lube.

 

**Jiraiya's finger teased his entrance, brushing gently over the rim of his ass before slowly pushing a slick finger in, his mouth now hovered over Ibiki's throbbing cock breathing moist hot breaths over it that made it strain for the tempting hold that was just out of reach.  Ibiki moaned his need growing so rapidly he was breathless.  "Koishii!"**

**Jiraiya looked up playfully as his tongue flicked over the engorged tip lightly.**

_Kakashi wanted to whimper he was so aroused by his extraordinary lovers!  The husky groan Ibiki gave at Jiraiya's tease was incredible!  He loved watching them; his gaze slipped from Ibiki's face to Jiraiya's fingers pressing into him then back to his lover's face.  Ibiki was enjoying this, there was no uncertainty on his face!_

**Ibiki could feel his Koishii's fingers draw out and two push in, but they did not feel alarming and his growing hunger left trying to concentrate on anything but the throbbing of his cock nearly impossible.  Jiraiya sucked on the swollen head as his fingers moved inside of him, Ibiki was ready to beg and even the feel of his partner's fingers slipping out and three pressing carefully in did not distract him from the ecstasy of his lover's mouth dropping down over his aching flesh, the tight moist grasp brought fevered moans from him and while he was aware of his beloved's fingers slowly moving inside him it was far too difficult to concentrate on anything but the feel of Jiraiya's skilled mouth drawing on his cock.**

 

Jiraiya was pleased this was going well, he wasn't sure his Koishii could bear this without being teased with chakra... his three fingers now moved smoothly in his beloved's body, stroking steadily into him as Jiraiya took him to the base with every drop down onto his turgid length until his partner cried out in rapture at his climax.  Jiraiya's fingers pressed deep and he swept chakra pulses over his lover's pleasure spot feeling his beloved's hips buck, then again as his body was drawn into another powerful orgasm. 

 

Ibiki panted as Jiraiya lifted his mouth from his sated flesh, his fingers remained buried within him and giving light brushes and occasional soft pulses of chakra over his prostate, little teases that slowly tempted him until he was hard again.  Jiraiya drew his finger's out, stroked lube up Ibiki's erection, then rose and purred to their partner, "Myobu... I want to see our lover's cock sinking into your tight body."

 

Kakashi's eyes widened and he gave a delighted cry, Jiraiya glanced up to see if Ibiki would trust their lover not to hurt himself even as aroused as he was... his Koishii didn't seem worried.

 

**Ibiki watched his Saiai straddle him his seductive lips parted in an excited pant, but his beloved did not take him into his body, his amazing bi-color eyes were filled with powerful lust but he only asked,  "I want you to rock against me... to feel your cock rubbing against my ass."**

**"So sexy... my sensual Saiai..."  Ibiki groaned, he was now extremely aroused by the feel of his slender partner's enthralling body on top of him, his swollen length pressed between them.  He positioned his cock to rub against his beloved, then gave a deep ecstatic moan as his Saiai's legs dropped to the sides, his lover's rim eagerly bared to feel his strokes.**

 

Jiraiya smiled at the loud groan Ibiki gave, and watched their lithe lover shiver in pleasure as Ibiki's cock rocked against his ass.  Then he brushed light chakra pulses down his gorgeous Kitsune's spine, teasing louder passionate cries from his riveting partner.

 

_He needed more!  Slowly Kakashi eased back and the head of Ibiki's cock slipped into his body.  He rose to seated rocking his hips, he remembered how aroused his beloved had been when he'd watched him masturbate.  As he rocked his hips, his hand wrapped around his cock and slowly stroked it.  Ibiki's eyes rested on the tease, his hands cupping Kakashi's hips and bucking softly into the drop of his body._

 

**Kakashi's fevered cries excited him almost as much as watching his beloved's hand stroking his cock.  Ibiki groaned, his partner was so extremely arousing!  As his Saiai climaxed he arched and his muscles contracted, Ibiki gave a urgent thrust into the tempting draw of his lover's body and came.**

 

_Kakashi looked over at Jiraiya's erection with longing then up to meet Ibiki's gaze, he was still a bit worried the things he did were going to be disturbing to his lovers, but lifted off Ibiki's sated length and traced a finger over the head of their partner's engorged cock.  He wanted to feel Jiraiya inside him like when they were at the bath house but..._

"My Kitsune... what is it you desire?"  Jiraiya saw the flash of guilt in his beloved's eyes but he answered honestly, "To feel you in me like at the bath house, to lay back against you and feel you cupping me as you stroke me."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "Such a enticing offer... yes Myobu."  His lover looked surprised, but quickly moved over to where he was seated.  Jiraiya cradled his hips turning him away and slowly lowering his beloved down on his erection to the base.  Kakashi gave seductive little mews of pleasure, his cock flushing hard and voice breathless as he moaned, "You feel so good!"

 

Jiraiya lightly brushed his fingers over his lover's balls then up the shaft to the head, before enclosing his enthralling partner's arousal in his hand.  Tempting loud cries from his beloved and a delighted gasp as Jiraiya's thumb rested blocking his release, the tease was growing steadily stronger.  It left his cherished Kitsune  panting and Jiraiya lay back on the bed, easing him back to lay on top of him.

 

Kakashi's eyes widened as he felt the soft rock of Jiraiya's hips and he felt a thrill as he realized his partner was going to fuck him like this!  Laying on his back on top of his lover's body, Jiraiya's wonderful rigid length seated deep inside him.

 

Kakashi gave fevered moans as Jiraiya carefully rocked, his Myobu's body was slick with cum and he had no intent of  being 'rough' with his beloved laying like this.  He would not thrust, only slowly rocked his hips, his erection rubbing lightly against his lover's pleasure spot and teasing him.  His thumb remained blocking his orgasm, as the soft rub against the front of his passage continued, his beloved's muscles contracted hard as he tried to cum.  The gentle rocks continued until Kakashi gave another urgent cry, trying to climax, but was denied... then Jiraiya's thumb lifted and he embraced his Kitsune firmly as he continued slowly rocking.  Kakashi wailed, trying to writhe in rapture as he came.  Then lay breathless on top of Jiraiya  and he released him, his hips now still and his caresses loving brushes of his fingers over his chest.

 

Kakashi looked up, "That was... incredible!"

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, his sensual lover's body tightening and contracting around him had left him painfully engorged, but it was worth it to give his beloved this strong pleasure.  Then it occurred to him his Koishii may have been alarmed when he'd held their lover tight, it had been necessary, he couldn't let him writhe while laying like this, it would hurt him, not [u]could[/u] but [u]would[/u] and that was not something he ever wanted.  He trusted his Myobu, but teased to such powerful lust his reaction while cumming would not have been a conscious choice.  Jiraiya studied Ibiki's eyes but he wasn't the only one, Kakashi was looking over as well, his gaze slipped down to Ibiki's erection then rose, "Ibiki... Jiraiya needs you, he needs to cum."

 

Ibiki's voice was husky with desire, "I would love to take care of that."

 

Jiraiya was a bit surprised, Ibiki did not seem disturbed at all, only extremely aroused.  Slowly Jiraiya  lifted his small lover's prone form up enough to withdraw.  Kakashi rose off of him and watched in delight as Ibiki lay back Jiraiya slipped up over him positioned Ibiki's cock and sank down upon it with a loud moan. 

 

**Ibiki groaned, "So sexy!"  His hands cupped Jiraiya's ass kneading the firm cheeks as he bucked up into the astounding pleasure of his lover's body and his Koishii cried out rocking urgently into his thrusts.**

**Jiraiya howled in ecstasy his muscles contracting powerfully as he came, the rapture of his long denied orgasm sweeping through him.  Ibiki bucked up in to the exquisite hold of his lover's body as he reached his climax, feeling his beloved's muscles rippling and teasing him until he was too sated to grow aroused again.**

**Although all three men were now sated, Ibiki was a bit concerned, it wasn't fair that Jiraiya always put them first.  Kakashi was clearly thinking the same thing.  As his Koishii lifted off him and lay on the bed, Ibiki and Kakashi enclosed him between them lovingly caressing and kissing his body.  He never wanted Jiraiya to ever doubt that they loved him just as greatly as they loved their other partner.  His assurance that he enjoyed watching them still didn't make it feel right.**

 

Jiraiya felt content and this was the only place he ever wanted to be, beside his lovers, his cherished partners were the only thing that truly mattered.

 

====================================

 

The next few days went without incident and the only notable deviance from the usual tedium was brought by an adorable toddler.

 

A woman stopped near by it looked like she was a bit nervous and waiting for her chance to talk with Jiraiya,  her little girl slipped her hand out of her mothers, walked over and wrapped her small arms around Kakashi's knees, "Ki, Ki..."

 

_Kakashi looked down at her then over at his teammate, children were often used as diversions to keep others from seeing what the adult was up to.  He scanned the crowd, Hebi was also watching the people diligently unaffected by the toddler hugging Kakashi's knees.  He wasn't sure how he felt about being touched by the child, but it was easy to ignore it and to stick to his mission._

 

Jiraiya saw the woman look around, then her eyes widened and she almost lunged towards her daughter.  It was clear she wanted to, but was afraid they'd take it as an attack... it looked like they were from a rural village it was unlikely they'd ever been around a nin.  An ANBU was an intimidating sight, Jiraiya smiled, except to a little girl obsessed with cats...

 

Jiraiya knelt down beside her and said, "He's a pretty kitty isn't he?"  She released Kakashi's legs and smiled.  Jiraiya lifted her in his arms, up to look at the 'kitty', "He's a very shy kitty, but I'm sure he liked your hug.  Let's give you to your mother."

 

She nodded happily, Jiraiya transferred the toddler to her mother who looked nervously at them gave a hesitant smile and rushed away.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

**Kakashi was home with Jiraiya now, Hebi came in to give a verbal report as he had every day since he and Kakashi began the mission as Jiraiya's body guards.  The usual report done, Hebi gave in to amusement, his eyes sparkled, "I'm sure you read in the patrol report that Kakashi was cuddled and pet by a toddler today?"**

**Ibiki nodded, as he read the patrol report he'd found that bit very amusing, "I'm sure he was thrilled."**

**Hebi gave a little smile, "Oh, I'm not so sure that would be the term I'd use, however Jiraiya was very entertained... tell Kakashi I say it's good to be a 'pretty kitty'.  He may not think he's a diplomat, but I think he handled it very well, she was not afraid."**

**Ibiki nodded, he was glad the ANBU uniform did not have any areas where bare flesh could be touched, this would not have been humorous if it had.  With Kakashi's aversion to being touched... it could have been highly distressing for him.**

**Hebi's wise gaze met his, "Even if she'd touched bare flesh he'd have been ok, a bit uneasy but ok, it may even have been good for him... the innocence of a baby holds no threat."**

**"Hmmm, you may be right.  It's such a powerful aversion, but there's no telling how he'd feel if it was from a very young child."  Ibiki looked sincerely at him, "I feel more comfortable knowing you are by their sides."**

**Hebi smiled, "I feel honored, your partners are very good men.  Soon this will be over and we'll all be able to relax a bit."**

 

==================================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 38**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE REMAINING CHAPTERS.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM... ARE ALL NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORYLINE
> 
> 38: NEVER ALONE (AMITY AFFLICTION)


	39. CIRCUS FOR A PSYCHO (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 39)

**CIRCUS FOR A PSYCHO (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 39)**

 

==================================

 

The amount of people waiting to talk to him and get their novels signed had not lessened yet, but Jiraiya had needed a break and decided a walk would do good to relax him.

 

Jiraiya and his ANBU escort were walking through the village square and he stopped for a moment to talk to a vender.  The first indication something was amiss came as he 'felt' Kakashi stiffen.  Jiraiya looked back to see the toddler from the other day had escaped her mother again,  she was grasping his beloved's finger.  

 

Jiraiya studied the market, he was not unfamiliar with children being used as a distraction... during the Second Shinobi War infants were left in 'abandoned' houses, when their 'rescuer' would pick them up they'd trigger the paper bomb hidden beneath the infant... war was truly hell and he wished that had not been the memory brought by seeing the small child clinging to Kakashi's finger.

 

_Kakashi was looking around the market, he wasn't sure, but twice seemed a bit more than a coincidence... he noticed Jiraiya wasn't smiling anymore, he looked very grim.  Hebi was also on alert, Kakashi continued watching the area trying to ignore the little hand clinging to his finger.  But he noted when Hebi studied the child intently for a moment then returned to surveillance._

_Now Kakashi knew what had both Jiraiya disturbed and Hebi uneasy... he'd heard of many nin being killed picking up babies during the Second Shinobi World War, the town would be empty all the villager's killed... few could turn their back on a crying infant, the babies were just convenient bait.  The fact they saw no mother near had all three men looking for trouble._

_"Ki, Ki?"  The toddler was growing frightened by everyone ignoring her, tears slipped down her pink cheeks.  Kakashi signaled the patrol and Umi leapt down he tried to pick up the toddler by her armpits and she began wailing and clung to his legs._

_Kakashi gave a slight shake of his head, Umi would need to take his position while he brought the child to be left at the hospital.  It was either there or the ANBU HQ neither were places they really wanted her if she was being used as a weapon, but the hospital was better equipped to handle her if she wasn't._

_Jiraiya turned around and knelt, his hand very softly stroked the toddlers back, the baby turned towards the comfort... But Kakashi knew his partner was trying to sense any weapon that may have been placed on her.  Then Jiraiya gingerly picked her up and calmly stated, "I will carry her, she has to go to the ANBU  building."_

_Kakashi felt a chill run down his spine, then he was once more focused and Umi disappeared, by the time they reached the ANBU building all the specialists would be ready.  Both Kakashi and Hebi now walked to the side one slightly before him on the left and the other slightly behind him on the right, enclosing Jiraiya in a ring of protection between them.  Jiraiya was ashen and Kakashi knew it was in fear... not fear for himself but for the small child he carefully carried.  He could hear his lover murmuring in a playful way to the child, but he only heard little bits_.

 

"Where is the nice lady?"  Jiraiya did not expect an answer but there was always a slim chance she would react to a question in some way that was helpful, and it kept her from squirming.  "Did you come see the kitty by yourself or did the lady bring you?"  That's why they used very small children and babies, they couldn't give any information... but they were wrong, the Yamanaka clan had many skilled members that were ANBU INTELLIGENCE.  They made a mistake choosing one old enough to remember faces.

 

The toddler whined at being held awkwardly and squirmed.  Jiraiya switched to things more likely to entertain her while still having the possibility of gaining information.  "You like the kitty, when we get inside you can pet him, but you need to stay still right now or you'll scare the shy kitty."  He was sure he was 'talking above her age level' but then he didn't usually deal with children.  Even if she didn't really understand what he was saying she seemed to get the idea, she stopped squirming and relaxed, popping her thumb in her mouth.

 

Jiraiya smiled, she was so beautiful and the world was so cruel.  He wondered if she'd been taken from her mother to be used here or if the woman they'd seen her with was actually her mother, there were so many questions.

 

**Ibiki was waiting outside when Jiraiya walked up and gently set her down, he knelt and offered the child a toy, a soft white cat doll.  Ibiki sent Umi for it as soon as he reported, it worked well, she sat down playing with it.  Occasionally looking up at Kakashi and squealing happily before returning to squishing the cat doll in her arms.**

 

Jiraiya was relieved but they were not out of the woods, he looked at the group of ANBU, "Please step away... I'm going to unfasten the back of her dress."  There was a high chance this would detonate the paper bomb he was certain was hidden beneath her clothes.   Ibiki looked stricken, but rose and waved everyone back, his face once more emotionless. 

 

**Jiraiya was going to risk himself again... he was always placing others above himself... Ibiki focused this was not the time for emotion.  He watched his partner very carefully unfasten the buttons, but the experienced Shinobi did not peel her dress back**.

 

Jiraiya drew a deep breath, it was affixed to both her skin on her back and the dress.  When he was slowly pulling it off her soft skin it would be at least uncomfortable, and possibly painful... she'd move.  It was a backup plan to get rid of the child in case the bomb did not get triggered by being picked up.  How was he going to keep her still while he did this?  He had no choice someone else had to hold her.  "I need her to stay still..." 

 

Jiraiya didn't even need to complete the question Kakashi had saw how the bomb was attached, he knew she'd have to be kept still, he walked forward and knelt before the infant.  She was instantly mesmerized, "Ki, Ki!"

 

Kakashi didn't know what to say, he held out his arms like he saw the mothers in the market do for their babies.  The baby rose and happily went into his arms and he enclosed her in a hug. 

 

Jiraiya spoke softly, "Hug the kitty tight, the kitty wants to hug you.  Kitty is shy don't move or you'll scare him... ok, now hug him tight."

 

**Ibiki's heart pounded in his chest, although visibly he looked calm he was terrified.  This could not be happening it was like one of his worst nightmares, one small wrong move and he'd lose them both... no, he could not think of that, he needed to remain focused.  Able to react correctly no matter what happened.**

 

Kakashi felt the tiny arms gasp him and enclosed her tightly, Jiraiya peeled the adhesive loose.  The baby wailed and tried to move.  Kakashi dipped his head, "Hug me, I'm scared."  She began wailing louder but clung to Kakashi tighter and Jiraiya got it loose,  sliced the fabric of her dress and removed the section that held the bomb.  He set it on the ground and one of the Bomb Containment team enclosed it in a shield... it was over.

 

The baby was crying and clinging to Kakashi and he quietly said, "You made kitty happy."  She looked up, she was still softly crying, but she stroked his mask and then his hair, "Ki, Ki."

 

Ibiki felt like laughing but it was mostly just relief, he gestured at Kakashi and Jiraiya, "I need you two in my office." 

 

They nodded, as Kakashi rose with the baby, Hebi picked up the cat toy and gave it to her.  She clung to it, her long lashes were damp with tears but she did not look frightened, just wary.  She didn't know why she hurt and did not associate it with the people around her... even through this horror she remained innocent.

 

Hebi waved one of the medical team forward, she did not usually wear an ANBU mask but she choose one that looked like a fox... it was close enough.  When she held out her arms, the toddler looked at Kakashi, then her uncertainly.

 

"I'm mommy cat... purr... purr... will you play with me?"  Her words worked the toddler squealed "Ki, ki!" and held out her  arms to the 'mommy cat' Kakashi handed her over.  As the medic and toddler walked away, Hebi followed.  The medical team would handle her until the hospital staff came for her.  The abrasion on her back would be healed and Hebi would remain near to watch for the ones who'd sent her and to protect her.

 

**Kakashi turned and walked into the ANBU building, then office, beside Jiraiya.  Ibiki followed behind and closed the door.  Then Kakashi took off his mask and tossed it on the chair, Ibiki grasped him and drew Jiraiya forward so they embraced their lover between them.  "I have never been so terrified in my life... that was torture worse than any I endured.  I wanted so much to be beside you both, I wanted to be selfish and to die beside you.  If you both died..."**

 

Kakashi looked very distressed as placed kisses over Ibiki's face.  Jiraiya knew his sensitive Myobu was overwhelmed he didn't know how to react and what to do.  Jiraiya gently stroked his Kitsune's back, both his partner's needed to be soothed, but he knew the crisis was far from over.  This was only a first attempt, if they could not find out who or why this happened there would be another attempt.

 

_Ibiki was crying!  He made him cry!  "I'm sorry."_

_Ibiki gave a sad smile, "You did what you are supposed to do, you risk your life to save the village... just as I did what I was supposed to do, live to protect the village."_

_"I made you cry... I don't want to make you cry."  Kakashi replied, his anxiety growing, to his relief the words he needed came just as they had with the little girl.  "I want to make you smile all the time, you have been sad enough in your life."_  

 

**Ibiki kissed him, "In my heart I'm always smiling ever since the day I got your love."  He looked up and met Jiraiya's gaze, "And your love.  You both have made my whole word bright and brought me so much joy."**

**He knew better than to even think his Koishii should have handed the child to someone and not placed himself at risk, Jiraiya would always be willing to give his life to protect everyone in the village.  And Kakashi was the only one who'd had any chance of holding the child completely still... they had done what they had to do.  It took several minutes of embracing his lovers before he could calm himself enough to ask the important question that needed answering.  "What did you find out Jiraiya?"**

**He knew the experienced Sannin would have tried to get information from the child.  Jiraiya shook his head, "It's up to Intelligence, she's too young to tell us anything."**

**"How did you know there was something wrong?"  Ibiki knew it was mostly intuition but there may be other clues that could be uncovered.**

**Jiraiya sounded a bit tired as he replied, "There was no mother anywhere in sight, and  I remembered yesterday she did not call her by name not even once.  Mother's always call their child by name when they want them to come, but she didn't...  and the reluctance she showed at approaching my ANBU security... it all just felt wrong." Jiraiya was soothingly massaging his back as they talked.**

**Ibiki looked seriously at them, "You may not be safe yet."  What was the goal, was the plan to take out Kakashi causing chaos and an opportunity to get to Jiraiya... or that Jiraiya would feel familiar with the child and pick her up, like he had last time, triggering the bomb?  Or was it something solely to do with Hebi or Kakashi?   It could be an preemptive attack on the village, an effort to take out the two strongest ANBU... There were far too many unanswered questions.  "Someone was watching you, they choose to release the child in the crowded market."**

**Ibiki went over and unlocked his file cabinet, gathered the patrol reports and Intel. on suspicious visitors.  "I really want to stay with you, but Lady Tsunade has to be briefed."  He hadn't talked to Hebi either, when he returned he would get Hebi's report.**

**Jiraiya looked very worried, "I need to go to her..."**

**Kakashi stated, "I will go too."** [/b] 

 

Jiraiya laid a hand on Ibiki and made the hand signs as Kakashi made his own and all three men appeared in her office.  Tsunade leapt up, crossed to Jiraiya and hit him in the arm, "How could you do that!  Jiraiya!  Stop trying to get killed!" 

 

She had immediately laid a hand on his arm healing the area she hit and now not frantic with worry she just looked exhausted.  "So someone used a tactic from the Second Shinobi war... any idea who the target was?"

 

"No." Ibiki replied with regret, placed the papers he brought on her desk, "I want your input on the activities of some of the visitors to Leaf and see if you recognize any faces...  Jiraiya and Kakashi you need to look through as well, pick out any you've seen nearby three or more times and we'll try to narrow it down from there."

 

Tsunade looked somberly at Jiraiya, "How is the baby?"

 

"Healthy, only a palm size abrasion, a quick easy heal."  Jiraiya soothed and some of the tension left her shoulders .

 

Tsunade sighed and looked gratefully at Kakashi, "Thank you."  Then turned her attention to the papers, there was so much more she wanted to say, but she knew the attention would make him uncomfortable.  She was extremely grateful no one had died, without Kakashi holding the baby Jiraiya would have killed himself trying to remove the bomb... even with Kakashi's fear of being touched, he'd still chosen to hold her.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Several hours later all four of them were worn out, they hadn't gotten any further than before.  Jiraiya sat in the window looking out, it filled him with sadness that even after all this time someone would think of using a small child as a weapon.

 

_Kakashi walked over to beside him, he wanted to be held; it all had happened so quickly, all the emotions were too much to handle.  Jiraiya brushed his fingers over his hand, Kakashi almost turned to see if Tsunade was watching but forced himself to believe she wasn't... it was probably true.  He leaned into his partner and felt the warm loving embrace of his arms._

_Jiraiya gave him a soft kiss and asked quietly, "What did you whisper to the baby?"_

_Kakashi paused and then answered, "It just came out... 'Hug me, I'm scared.'"_

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Me too.  I didn't want it to be you, but you were right to step forward.  You held her when no one else could have."  And now he understood her petting Kakashi, even as she still cried at the pain and fear she'd felt, she'd been trying to comfort him... she was so precious.

 

Kakashi looked conflicted, "It didn't feel wrong... I didn't feel the distress I do at someone, beside you or Ibiki, touching me."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Maybe because she was a innocent baby, someone who could not understand what was happening and was frightened."

 

Kakashi lay his head against Jiraiya's shoulder, "I'm glad I held her... I don't want her to be afraid anymore."

 

**Ibiki and Tsunade were listening to the two men talk, Ibiki looked at Lady Tsunade, "Jiraiya is a miracle worker... all those fools he called Angels, he is the real angel, pure heart and selfless, he works miracles."**

**Tsunade smiled softly, "Yes."  Then looked at Ibiki, "How are you doing?  Watching both the ones you love in danger and not joining them, you are a strong man Ibiki."**

**"Being strong would not have helped me, if they had died my whole world would have ended too... I can't imagine trying to survive that and living in the emptiness again.  It would be worse than being tortured."**

 

Tsunade nodded, she was very familiar with that pain. 

 

\--------------------------

 

Before leaving Tsunade's office they decided the book signing would be put on hold, they couldn't let it be known that someone had tried to detonate a bomb in the market place, it would cause panicking.  The guests to the leaf village would be told Jiraiya had food poisoning.

 

Then the three men transported to their house, it left his amazing Myobu drained but part of that exhaustion was brought by the stress they all felt.  They stripped and went in to shower, although their bodies grew aroused at the sight of their lovers none of them wanted anything more than to hold and touch each other.  After the shower they somberly ate, occasionally stroking each other's arm or hand.

 

**That night Ibiki asked, "Will you both sleep beside me?"  Both his lovers immediately nodded, although they should have feared he'd wake from a dream and hurt them, neither showed any reluctance... and Ibiki knew he wouldn't be sleeping tonight anyway.  Even if he'd been able to, he knew his dreams would have been filled with horrors that would make sleeping Hell.**

 

Jiraiya knew his Koishii would not sleep, it was very probable that none of them would, this had been a very brutal reminder of how quickly they could lose everything.

 

====================================

 

In the morning Jiraiya walked with his lover's to the ANBU building, he was not willing to take the chance his partners  would be injured on the way and insisted that he would walk with them.  The walk was filled with tension, all three men watching intently for danger and it was a relief when they reached the security of the ANBU building. 

 

Hebi joined them and Jiraiya transported directly into his friends office, he would not walk anywhere and Kakashi and Hebi were staying in the ANBU building.  They were working on investigating possible motives... his lovers were safe for the moment and he'd do anything to make sure they remained safe.  Jiraiya knew he was the most likely target, all this had not started until they held the book signing.  He would not let his partners be endangered again... or the villagers.

 

\-----------------------

 

**As Hebi handed him the detailed report, the veteran ANBU looked grim, "Looks like I was wrong... the innocence of a baby does hold threat."**

**Ibiki shook his head, "No, the baby held no threat, the ruthless people who used her did and her touch did not alarm Kakashi, just like you knew it wouldn't.  You all handled the situation exactly like I would expect, with skill and compassion."**

**Hebi nodded, took the surveillance photos  and looked through them, his gaze determined, but in the end they had no more to go on than before... only the memory of the woman's face.  It was possible she'd already snuck out of the village prior to her description being given to the men on gate duty... but that did not rule out others that may have been part of the plan still remaining.**

 

=======================

 

Jiraiya was very depressed at the thought of leaving his lovers again, even for a few days, but he knew he was doing the right thing.  It had taken a lot of convincing to get his friend to agree that it was best he left the village for the remaining days of the signing, but the deciding factor was the knowledge that many of the villagers would have been killed if the bomb had been triggered while Jiraiya was in the Market square.

 

He'd decided he'd go to the port city, it was far from Leaf and familiar to everyone, thus easy for his 'fans'... and attackers, to find.  Now he had to tell his lovers his decision...

 

\-----------------------

 

**Ibiki watched his Saiai seriously a moment, then simply showed him the report.  Jiraiya would be coming here to tell them himself, but Ibiki believed it would be best for them to have a few moments to talk before he came.  Jiraiya would be anxious enough and he needed Kakashi to understand the necessity... but his beloved just read the report and nodded.**

**Kakashi was not surprised, Ibiki could see his intelligent lover had already reached that conclusion himself.  Jiraiya had to finish his book signing outside the Leaf village, the risk to the villagers was too great.  He should have known his Saiai would already have thought it through.  Then Kakashi proved he'd put more thought into it than just realizing what would need to happen...**

**Kakashi looked resolute, "I will take care of everything here.  Go with Jiraiya, he has to go and you are the best person to go with him... you can protect him and won't react wrong. "**

**Ibiki wanted to protest that his Saiai wouldn't react wrong, but after this attempt on Jiraiya's life...  the chance his lover, a Mission ANBU, would seriously injure someone whether right or 'wrong' was a strong possibility.  "I won't leave you here alone... I can send Hebi."**

**Although he offered they both knew he couldn't, Kakashi and Hebi must stay in Leaf.  If the intent was to eliminate two of the strongest ANBU then one of them leaving the village would only make everything easier for them.  The Cat was well known, a skilled assassin and the one that could slip through any defense and obtain the scroll or item he was after... and The Serpent was known to have the keenest mind and could find a way to complete the mission no matter what obstacles were in the way, many countries would be ecstatic if they heard either ANBU had been killed.**

**Kakashi snuggled against him and replied, "I will miss you both so much with every minute you're gone... but I have to stay here and I can run ANBU operations... I need you to go make sure nothing happens to  Jiraiya."**

Jiraiya walked into his Koishii's office and saw his Myobu cuddled into their partner... they knew.  It wasn't surprising but it really didn't change the sorrow he felt at leaving them again.  Kakashi held out his hand as Jiraiya walked over and the smaller man drew him close.  

 

_Kakashi looked up at Jiraiya, he placed a light hand on his partner's chest but did not slide it beneath the cloth, he didn't want to show Jiraiya how disturbing this was.  His lovers were worried about him and he needed to show them that he'd be ok._

_Jiraiya nuzzled him, unfastened his shirt and slipped Kakashi's hand in to rest against his heart.  Then kissed his brow, his gaze full of deep love.   "My cherished one."_

_Kakashi felt a bit less anxious, the gesture had come to mean so much, it brought him peace feeling the slow steady beat of his beloved's heart.  "Ibiki is going with you."_

_Jiraiya looked stunned and immediately protested, "No, we won't both leave.  Ibiki has to stay... I don't want you to be alone."_

_Kakashi sighed softly his tension seeping away as he stood between his lovers, Ibiki cradling his body and his hand on Jiraiya's chest.  "I want him to go... I need you to be safe, please let him come."_

_Jiraiya looked over at Ibiki, but their partner was leaving it up to him to decide._

_"Please Jiraiya... so I don't worry." Kakashi asked, he was already worried and they hadn't even left yet, he had to know his lovers were safe.  Ibiki wouldn't let anyone hurt Jiraiya, and Jiraiya would protect Ibiki._

 

Jiraiya could see this was very important to his partner and he nodded.  They would need to leave tonight... it was a three day journey to the port.  But, more importantly, he didn't want his presence in the Leaf village to endanger anyone again.  There was no telling how long it would be before they made another attempt.

 

============

 

**Ibiki divided the duties to maximize effectiveness, Hebi would run ANBU missions and taking in classified items and information.  Kakashi would have full control over interrogations and investigations... it was unlikely he'd have to interrogate anyone and that was a good thing.  It was likely he'd kill the one he was interrogating or shatter their mind, but Ibiki was certain he would get any information needed from them.  This divided duties would allow his Saiai to focus on finding out who was targeting Jiraiya and why, it would be the only thing his beloved could concentrate on right now and it would not be fair to ask he take on all the other duties when distracted by it.**

**Ibiki felt very reluctant to leave his Saiai, he didn't want him to be alone, but this was the safest place for him.  He needed to know both his partners were safe above all.**

**Jiraiya stroked Kakashi's cheek then made the hand signs to transport home, his Koishii would pack for them both while Ibiki set up everything at the ANBU Headquarters so he could leave.**

 

\--------------------------------

 

**After Jiraiya was gone, Kakashi lay against him, a few minutes longer, then looked up seriously and asked.  "While you both are in the port town put his bad memories away, replace them with good ones."**

**Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "I will Saiai."  His lover wanted him to help their partner place the past behind him and bring him happy memories of the town... his Saiai was so incredible.  They were very lucky to have his love.**

**Kakashi kissed him softly, "Go, I will see you both in ten days."**

**Ibiki stroked his face again then released him and walked out the door.**

 

[i] _Kakashi remained looking somberly at the door, both his lovers were gone... he was alone again.  No, it  was good that Ibiki had went with Jiraiya... he couldn't be sad, Ibiki would make sure nothing happened to Jiraiya.  Hebi walked in and unlocked the file cabinet before sitting down with a stack of mission briefs._

_Kakashi walked over and pulled the folder with all the information they'd gathered in their investigation of the threat against Jiraiya.  He sat in a chair reviewing it and thinking about what course to go in.  Should he make a stronger attempt to identify the woman or concentrate on the visitors that were most likely to be involved?_

_Kakashi found the quiet presence of Hebi relaxing and soon he was completely focused on the case.  He would solve this so his beloved would be safe again._

 

=====================================( **DAY 3 after leaving the village** )

 

**The trip was unpleasant, it had rained quite a bit during their trip, now they were in the port town.  Cold and damp, they'd gratefully stripped the moment they got to their room at the inn.  "Let's go warm up in a shower." Jiraiya urged.**

**Ibiki was in complete agreement, his eyes roamed over his lover's firm ass as they walked into the shower.  Jiraiya looked back at him with a little smile and teased, "I can think of better ways to warm up certain other areas."**

**Ibiki gave a soft laugh, his hand stroking lightly down his partner's back and ass, in spite of his playful words his Koishii remained somber and Ibiki wondered if it was being back in this accursed town or worry about leaving their lover behind in the Leaf Village.  Possibly both, he needed to relax him, they could handle anything that happened and soon they would be back in the Leaf village with their partner again.**

**Kakashi's words came to mind, his Saiai wanted him to replace the bad memories of the town with good ones.  He was right, time to chase the 'demons' that dwelled here away.**

 

Although the sight of his lover's body was very arousing his 'spirits' were not high, this town only further emphasized how quickly joy could turn to despair and the knowledge that Kakashi was alone filled him with sorrow.  His poor Myobu, he feared being alone again...

 

Ibiki cupped his cheek breaking him from his unpleasant thoughts and gently reassured, "Everything will be ok, I'm worried about Kakashi too.  Lets wash up, then I want to lay and hold you."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "I would like that."  Ibiki tenderly caressed his body as he washed him, it felt so good, so soothing... he loved his partners so much, his Koishii's touch helped calm his anxiety even as it excited his body.  Jiraiya rinsed then began washing his amazing lover.

 

**Ibiki gave a soft groan, "You're touch is magic Koishii."**

**Jiraiya smiled and kissed him, "I was just thinking the same thing."**

**Jiraiya slipped around behind him, washing his back lightly, no matter how light his touch Ibiki couldn't help being very aroused by it.  "Koishii, I want to feel your body against me."**

 

"Gladly."  Jiraiya embraced his beloved from behind stroking over his chest and down to his pelvis as he placed gentle kisses over his lover's scarred shoulders.

 

Ibiki pressed back into the rigid length of Jiraiya's erection.  His voice was soft but tinged with wonder, "I never pictured being able to accept this... but now I can accept it and enjoy it... you're extraordinary Jiraiya.  Please let me feel you rock against my ass."

 

Jiraiya traced the sensitive expense of his lover's throat and rocked his hips, he was filled with happiness as he felt how his beloved's body remained relaxed.  His incredible partner was enjoying it!  His hands covered Jiraiya's arms encouraging him to hold him a bit tighter... Jiraiya's cock was pressing against his lover's rim, rubbing firmly but his Koishii showed no signs of distress.

 

**Jiraiya continued thrusting against his ass as his hand began slowly stroking Ibiki's cock, he groaned at the tease and bucked back into Jiraiya's strokes... rocking his ass against his lover's engorged cock.  "Cum against me Koishii."**

**Jiraiya continued his tempting strokes until Ibiki cried out in rapture as he came.  Jiraiya bucked against his ass, rocking slightly the slick feel of his cum making his cock slip smoothly over his rim, and bringing waves of pleasure that prolonged his orgasm.  As Jiraiya's desire was satisfied he reached down rubbing his finger over the slick entrance,  Ibiki gave a soft moan, "Your touch feels good."**

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his beloved's throat, his Koishii wanted to continue reclaiming all he'd lost after his 'abuse' by the Rain nin.  His lover was so strong, determined to get his freedom and he'd come so far.

 

Although they'd handled many issues, many remained and they would continue working on them until they too were in the past.  After they washed and dried each other they were both aroused again, they went in to the bedroom and Jiraiya lay face down on the bed, "Will you rock against me?"

 

**Ibiki couldn't reply for a moment, his throat dry and his heart pounding in alarm... pin him...  He tried to reason that it wasn't any different that if Jiraiya was standing... but it was.  Standing Jiraiya could move away from him... laying his Koishii was trapped beneath him.**

**Jiraiya turned over and drew him down to lay on top of him, stroking his body tenderly.  Ibiki was glad his lover didn't apologize for frightening him, there would be times he would be alarmed, frightened... even terrified, but they could not let that stop them... he wished to try, to never be held back by anything.**

**Jiraiya cupped his cheek, "I love you."  Then kissed him and gently teased, "Koishii you could not pin me even if you wished to, I promise I am not trapped in the slightest."**

**Ibiki knew his partner's  words were the truth, his lover was far from helpless.**

 

Jiraiya could see his Koishii needed additional proof, but he would not do anything that would remind his lover of struggling or 'fighting' him, instead with one hand he whipped through the hand signs and disappeared from beneath him. 

 

Ibiki rolled over and looked at where Jiraiya now stood beside the bed with surprise, then laughed.  "You are amazing Koishii."

 

Jiraiya slipped onto the bed beside him and caressed his chest lightly, "I feel that way about you several times a day my wonderful beloved."

 

Ibiki stroked his cheek, "I want to try."

 

Jiraiya was proud of his partner, he wanted to try doing something that he found distressing.  "So strong Koishii, my extraordinary one."  He wouldn't loosen his muscles, Ibiki was not ready to take that step, they would just rock. 

 

**Jiraiya rolled onto his stomach and lay relaxed, Ibiki took the lube spreading it over his cock.  His Koishii remained completely relaxed even as Ibiki covered him.**

**Ibiki's erection slipped between his lover's cheeks, rocking slowly and bringing loud ecstatic moans from his partner.  It was extremely exciting hearing his delighted cries and Ibiki thrust faster, his tension easing as his pleasure grew.**

**Ibiki stilled, he wanted to try something... he rubbed the head of his erection firmly against Jiraiya's entrance, like his Koishii had done when he was trying to get him used to the feel of his cock pressing.  He didn't want to push in and his intuitive partner seemed to realize that, he did not loosen his muscles although he lay moaning in ecstasy at the tease of his rim he did not ask or expect more... it helped, knowing his lover accepted whatever he could do, it gave him the strength to try to go further.  Ibiki placed a light kiss on his beloved's neck,  his heart pounded harder as he said, "I want to try to press in."**

**"That sounds wonderful my strong Koishii."  Jiraiya relaxed his muscles, but it took several minutes of teasing his need by rubbing against his beloved's rim before Ibiki dared to push slightly.  Jiraiya moaned softly, "Mmm... you feel good Koishii."**

**Ibiki studied his lover's face, he knew he wasn't causing him pain, his partner was enjoying the careful press of his cock.  He pressed a bit firmer and felt the head of his cock slip through the loosened muscles into his beloved, in spite of the pleasure... his heart hammered and he wanted to withdraw.**

**Jiraiya sighed happily, "Will you kiss my shoulders Koishii?"**

**Ibiki dipped his head to kiss his partner's shoulders but remained still, his muscles tensed.  His lover's breathless delight was in his every soft moan, Ibiki's tension slowly ebbed until he calmed and sank in to the base.  The feel of his beloved's body was so familiar even when laying on top of him, he remained kissing his Koishii's neck but the hot firm grasp of his lover's body continued to tempt him until he gave a hesitant rock.  Jiraiya groaned, "I love the feel of you inside me... the feel of your body cupping mine, your kisses over my back, you give me so much pleasure my Koishii!"**

**Pleasure... he was giving his lover pleasure, not hurting him... he gently rocked again and heard his beloved's delighted moan... cautiously he began moving in his partner, it felt good... very good and still he could not relax and accept the pleasure.  He could not thrust into the enticing tight heat, only carefully rock, he could not bear if he hurt him.**

 

Jiraiya decided his beloved had tried this long enough, they needed to end it before he grew too anxious, "I want to be on top of you Koishii watching your face as you cry out in rapture..."

 

**Ibiki gave a soft amused groan, he knew his lover was teasing him to soothe him and giving him acceptance that he could not bear it yet... he withdrew and lay on the bed.  Jiraiya covered him kissing his chest and flicking his nipples with the tip of his tongue.  Ibiki moaned, breathless with ecstasy, as his Koishii rose, positioned his cock and dropped down to the base.  Jiraiya rocked his hips steadily and urged, "Buck Koishii!"**

**Ibiki started giving firm thrusts up into the drop of his lover's body they had grown so fevered with desire that they urgently fucked.  Jiraiya arched letting his cock rub over his pleasure spot and tease him, but resisting cumming.  Ibiki groaned as his beloved's passage steadily tightened around his hard length and tempted him until he could not resist his need for release and cupped his partner's hips as he gave his last rapid bucks.**

**Jiraiya cried out in rapture his muscles grasping and flexing around Ibiki's cock until they both lay exhausted but sated.  Ibiki feigned a groan, "Now we'll have to shower again!"**

**Jiraiya lay down on him, lovingly kissing him, then replied, "I suppose so... perhaps we'll even get washed and clean while we are there... I can't make any guarantees, not with my sexy Koishii in there."**

**Ibiki laughed, "We'll just have to do what we can."**

 

==========================

 

_Several days had passed, Kakashi still watched the door every moment he was at the house.  He knew they wouldn't return for several more days, but he missed everything about them.  His life was so empty without them and he couldn't imagine trying to live without either one.  He used this painful longing to help fuel his investigation into the attack on Jiraiya, often not returning to the house for more than a brief nap before returning to the ANBU building._

_He was studying every patrol report from the first day of the book signing to the day of the attack intently, there had to be something he was missing.  He would solve this so his lover would be safe, it was the only thing he could think about... that and how desperately he missed them._

 

==============

 

The last days of Jiraiya's book signing were hectic, moving it to the Port town had brought a great deal of people who had not been able to travel to the Leaf village and the port was a larger town.  Although the producer was there as well, Nanibou Gouman avoided being anywhere near him.  He wasn't as thick as Jiraiya had thought, he'd looked at Jiraiya then Ibiki and made the correct assumption that Ibiki was his partner... and the incorrect, but very convenient, assumption that touching this one would get him killed.  The sight of Ibiki had almost made him wet his pants he was so terrified, the irony was that the man was in more danger from Jiraiya himself than his gentle calm lover. 

 

**Although they were still not delighted to be in the port town, nothing alarming had happened as of yet and they were relaxing slightly.  But Ibiki couldn't relax much, something was strange about this whole thing.  It didn't make sense that the assassin that had tried to kill Jiraiya hadn't tried again.  Someone cruel and heartless enough to use a baby as a weapon would not just give up after one failed attempt so Ibiki remained focused on the crowds as his beloved talked to fans and producers, and signed books.**

**The first few times Jiraiya's publisher saw him the quiet man had looked uneasy, but by the second day Wahon had relaxed and they actually enjoyed the time they spent together with him.  Ibiki liked the unobtrusive manner of the man, his thoughtful observant looks at the people as they approached Jiraiya gave Ibiki the feeling of having a second set of eyes watching for trouble.**

**He was grateful for the assistance, it was much more dangerous here than the Leaf village and the potential attack could be anything.   The people here in the busy town were allowed weapons and the crowds made watching the people in the area difficult, both things he'd known, but the crowds were greater than he'd anticipated.  He should have brought one of his ANBU intelligence with him, out of uniform of course.**

**All their meals were brought by a trusted source, the inn that had treated them so well after their return from the land of Lightning.  Both Jiraiya and, to Ibiki's surprise, himself had become a very important patrons to the owner.  His daughter was often the one delivering the food and every time she asked if they wished her to stay and serve them.  They did not, but it was a nice gesture since going to the restaurant right now, while Jiraiya's fans were gathered in the city would have been difficult and potentially dangerous.**

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

**As the day ended, Jiraiya and Ibiki returned to their suite, the inn owner had insisted they take the finest room, the space was not as important as the fact it had two beds so neither man had to sleep on the floor.**

**Ibiki had spent the walk back to the room thinking of his Saiai, he missed their lover greatly.  This was different than having him gone on a mission, knowing he was waiting at home for them... his thoughts shifted to the words his beloved had said before he left, give Jiraiya good memories to banish all the pain in the past that was associated with the port...**

**Jiraiya gave a playful smile as they walked up the stairs towards their room, then purred, "I can't wait to take your cock in my mouth, to feel the hard flesh with my tongue as it brushes over the swollen length... to tease the slit and..."**

**Ibiki groaned, "Keep that up and I'll be too aroused to walk!"**

**Jiraiya laughed, "Oh we can't have that, it would be quite shocking for the other patrons for me to take you in my mouth here..."**

**Ibiki smirked, "Yes, I suppose it would be a bit surprising for them... I'm not sure if it would be unexpected."**

**Jiraiya laughed, "Yes, well, living up to my 'reputation' in that way is something better avoided."**

**As they reached the room Ibiki's cock was straining at the front of his pants eagerly, his Koishii's teasing words had been a very effective seduction and he couldn't wait to bare his beloved's body.**

**Jiraiya clearly had a similar thought as soon as they closed the suite door he was unfastening Ibiki's shirt kissing his way down to his swollen cock and he groaned in delight as Jiraiya freed the throbbing flesh.   In moments his skilled lover had him panting as he struggled to resist his orgasm**.

 

Something was bothering Ibiki, Jiraiya released his beloved's erection, his Koishii's muscles were flexing at the effort he was making to resist his climax, "Koishii... why don't you wish to cum?"

 

**Ibiki looked down at his sensual lover, "I want you to... touch me inside, I want to feel your fingers bringing me pleasure..."  Ibiki drew a deep breath and quietly finished, "I don't want to become alarmed, I want to enjoy it and the only way I can be sure I won't react badly is by being very aroused."**

**Jiraiya rose cupped his face and kissed him lovingly, "Koishii, I love you... Relax and enjoy the pleasure I can give you right now, don't worry so much if something distresses you we can handle it."**

**Ibiki sighed, "You have so many bad memories in this town... because of me, I only want to see happiness this time."**

**Jiraiya placed kisses over his sensitive throat and softly murmured, "I regret nothing, I am happy anywhere I am with you Koishii."**

**Ibiki groaned, breathless with ecstasy as Jiraiya's hand enclosed his aching cock and stroked it.  He arched into his experienced lover's hand, moaning loudly as he gave in to his orgasm.**

 

Jiraiya removed all Ibiki's clothes, "You are so sexy Koishii!"  Then he urged him to lay on the bed and removed his own clothes, slipping up to between his beloved's legs and kissing his inner thighs, tracing the deep scars with his tongue.  His partner very rapidly hardened again and Jiraiya coaxed him to bring his legs up to bent then teased his rim with light flutters of his tongue. 

 

Jiraiya took the lube and dampened his fingers as he took one of his lover's balls in his mouth sucking softly and caressing the trapped flesh with swipes of his tongue.  Ibiki's breath caught sharply at the overwhelming pleasure.  Jiraiya released the first and took his other in his mouth as his finger stroked around Ibiki's rim sending light pulses of chakra over the tender area and tempting him into wanting them inside.  He a wave of deep love for his partner as he moaned in delight. 

 

By the time Jiraiya released his ball his Koishii was pressing eagerly into the seduction of his fingers, slowly he pressed in and stroked his finger in the hot grasp as he sent stronger pulses of chakra into his beloved's body.  Ibiki's cock jumped at the tease flushing harder and he gave a groan of rapidly increasing need.  Jiraiya slipped his finger out, then teased his lover's entrance with two, now sending a steady low hum of chakra through his fingers into his partner.

 

**Ibiki groaned, and pushed down on them, rocking into the temptation of Jiraiya's fingers, he wanted more... his body craved the ecstasy of his lover's fingers deep inside... no, he wanted... the thought brought a bit of uneasiness but he wanted to feel Jiraiya inside him.  The thought of wishing it was still very stunning, it was something he'd never imagined wanting,  for years his beloved had said when he was ready he would enjoy it and his Koishii had been right.**

**Although he still preferred to be the one inside his lovers, it was wonderful to have the choice and it did give him extraordinary pleasure... yes, he wanted Jiraiya inside him.  "I want to straddle your lap."  Saying it brought some anxiety but not too greatly.**

**Jiraiya's fingers slipped out and he watched him with a smile as they sat up.  Ibiki straddled his Koishii's lap and kissed him, enjoying how Jiraiya cupped his head lightly as he deepened their kiss.   The tease had grown strong and both men moaned, their cocks swollen between them...**

**Jiraiya's hand wrapped around Ibiki's cock stroking him and cupping and teasing his balls with his other hand.  Ibiki moaned his anxiety swept away by the familiar pleasure of his lover's touch.  As he grew more excited, Jiraiya's finger softly feathered over the slick entrance to his body.  Ibiki moaned remembering the enthralling rapture of his lover's fingers inside him as he prepared him... eager for more of the intense pleasure he pressed into the light brushes.  Moaning loudly at the feel of his lover's fingers as they slipped in stroked the inside of his body, he wanted more... deeper and after a few more minutes of rocking into them he lifted slightly and his Koishii's fingers slipped out.**

**Although uneasy, it wasn't as greatly as before and he desired the feel of Jiraiya's cock stroking deep inside him... Ibiki positioned Jiraiya's erection, he remained a bit anxious but the love in his Koishii's eyes soothed him even as his beloved's husky voice teased him.  "Feel the silky glide of my cock as it rubs over your entrance... imagine the ecstasy of that wonderful caress inside you..."**

**Jiraiya cupped his hips but it was neither to encourage or restrict him, they softly massaged his hips as Ibiki slowly lowered down to take him inside.  At the first press of Jiraiya's cock against his entrance he paused, "I don't think I can do this."  His body was prepared, he knew his lover would not hurt him and yet his anxiety was growing stronger once more.**

**Jiraiya gave him a loving smile, "Then don't, do only what gives [u] you[/u] pleasure Koishii."**

**Ibiki felt deep well of love for his partner, "You are incredible."  Ibiki stroked Jiraiya's chest down to his pelvis, "Want to... I want you in me, here... where I first told you I loved you."**

**Jiraiya kissed him tenderly, "One of the best days of my life."**

**He could still feel the light press of Jiraiya's arousal at his entrance, but now it didn't feel as 'threatening' and Ibiki found he wanted to feel it rubbing against him.  He traced the silky head firmly against his rim and moaned at the amazing pleasure, he could feel the slight give of his body around it.  He knew his beloved would not move, he would not press in, and he really did want to feel his cock inside.  Ibiki took Jiraiya's hand and brought it to his cock.**

**Jiraiya stroked it with soft brushes of his fingers teasing his need and the muscles relaxed further.  The small spike of discomfort as his lover's cock entered his body wasn't even really pain and, with his rising desire, it was easily dismissed.  As he slowly lowered down on his beloved's erection he moaned at the ecstasy, every movement of his partner's cock was a seductive stroke over the nerves of his entrance and even the sensation of his Koishii filling him brought a wave of excitement.  Jiraiya's lips were parted in a pant as he quietly reacted to the rapture of Ibiki's body enclosing him and his beloved's eyes watched his face with adoration.**

**When Ibiki rested at the base Jiraiya resumed stroking his cock lightly, teasing his need and making his body eager for more.  Ibiki rocked his hips slightly, the movement brought waves of pleasure and he moaned, then continued softly rocking.**

**Jiraiya gently gathered him close, nuzzling and placing tender kisses on his throat. Then guided his hips as he carefully rose and sank down.  It felt wonderful and Ibiki repeated the motion, gradually growing faster.  "Koishii, let me hear you cry out, let me hear the ecstasy you feel as you move within me."**

 

Jiraiya gave in, moaning loudly at the strong pleasure he felt, his Koishii was not becoming alarmed and he could relax a bit.  Slowly he rocked into Ibiki's drops and heard his beloved's cries grow louder, Jiraiya groaned at the sound,  "Oh Koishii you have no idea how sexy you sound, the sound of your moans is so tempting!  Can I tilt your hips?"

 

Ibiki quickly replied, "Yes!"

 

When Jiraiya tilted his hips and a surge of rapture swept through him so powerfully that he gave a loud cry as he came. 

 

Jiraiya smiled, he loved his partners so much and he was grateful they had reached a point where he could give his Koishii this powerful wave of pleasure. 

 

**Ibiki cupped his beloved's head drawing him into a passionate kiss, "You are incredible."**

**Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "So are you Koishii."  He trailed his finger through Ibiki's cum that dampened their abs and sucked it off his finger, then gave a playful smirk as Ibiki groaned.**

**He was very aware his Koishii had not climaxed, his partner was always so careful with him and Kakashi.  Jiraiya cupped his hips lightly as Ibiki rose off his cock, then kissed him and encouraged, "We should shower and dress before our hostess shows up with the food.**

**Ibiki nodded but as he followed his beloved into the bathroom he had no intention of leaving his lover aroused.  Once in the shower he caressed Jiraiya's engorged length, stroking him as he panted and moaned.  Then stated, "I wish to take you in my mouth... in my throat."**

**Jiraiya nuzzled his cheek and placed a kiss there, "Koishii you can do whatever you wish."**

**Ibiki didn't miss the subtle emphasis on the word ' _you_ ' but that was all that his beloved said and his gaze held no worry.  Jiraiya was sure he could do it and that if he did it was his choice to do so, not that he thought he was expected to.**

**Ibiki kissed his way down his lover's body his hand appreciatively stroking his enticing Koishii, as his hand slipped around to the firm cheeks of his partner's ass he heard Jiraiya's delighted moan.  His hand remained stroking over it as he continued to sink down to his knees, Ibiki watched his beloved's face as he caressed the turgid flesh of his cock.  His partner was very aroused, Ibiki licked his cock and it beaded with precum, it was a bit surprising that this didn't cause him anxiety.  His fingers now traced the part of his lover's ass, then pressed in to tease his Koishii's rim,  when he pushed firmer  Jiraiya groaned and his body eagerly welcomed his fingers inside.**

**Ibiki's fingers stroked in the hot tight grasp of his partner's ass, the temptation had his own cock flushed hard and he decided he wanted to feel his lover's body.  Ibiki released Jiraiya's erection, his fingers remained deep in the tease of his beloved's body a moment more then slipped out and he rose.**

 

 Jiraiya was delighted as Ibiki kissed him and when he broke the kiss he turned and moaned in ecstasy as his beloved's cock pressed into his body.

 

Ibiki had not become afraid, he'd freely chosen what he wanted to do and that made everything even better.  His Koishii didn't feel that he had to do anything and was not being held back, not being limited on what he could do... he was choosing what he wished to do, and doing it, it was wonderful!   "I love the feel of you Koishii!"

 

**Ibiki delighted in the cries of rapture his beloved gave even as he moaned at the feel of his lover's body grasping and drawing on his cock.  His hand slipped around to stroke his partner's erection and Jiraiya's moans became increasingly fevered.**

**His sexy lover's urgent cries was a temptation that left Ibiki nearly as desperately aroused as his Koishii!  When Jiraiya arched, his cock jumping in his hand, Ibiki resisted giving in to his climax, stroking the slick flesh as he fucked his beloved's spasming passage faster and Jiraiya cried out again.  Now he allowed his orgasm to sweep through him, he bucked deep as he came and remained holding his beloved close as they tried to catch their breath.**

 

=============================

 

_Kakashi stood looking down at the little child that he'd held as Jiraiya removed a paper bomb from her back,  they'd nicknamed her 'Junsei'.   Someone had used her as a weapon, it could not have just been that woman... he would find out who for her as well as for the safety of his lover._

_Although he'd thought he was just coming to see Junsei to try to get any lead on how to proceed with the investigation, now he had to admit it wasn't why he'd came.  He wasn't sure why but he'd needed to see she was ok.  He wore his mask because it may be familiar to her._

_The toddler saw him dropped her toy cat and grabbed his leg, "Ki... Ki."_

_The nurse looked surprised as she picked up the doll, "She hasn't let go of this toy since she arrived..."_

_Kakashi looked at the nurse then down at the child, she remembered him... he was wanted more than the toy.  He squat down and the small hands gently pet him, "Ki... Ki..."_

_The child was ok... she wasn't frightened.  She was safe.  Kakashi stroked her cheek lightly, her touch didn't distress him... then he realized the nurse was watching very curiously and his hand dropped.   It was strange for an ANBU to appear, and to have come to see the child..._

_After a moment he rose and took the toy from the nurse, then knelt and handed it to the little girl.  Softly he murmured, "Take care of him.  I will not let anyone harm you."  Then rose, the toddler hugged the cat doll and smiled.  Kakashi turned and hopped out the window disappearing into the trees._

 

\----------------------

 

Tsunade needed a walk, at least that was what she told herself, she was so worried about Jiraiya after the failed attempt on his life and his leaving that she couldn't focus on the scrolls she was supposed to review on a proposed trade agreement.  The hospital was a relaxing place to walk and it soothed her to check in on the patients and see them recovering from whatever tragedy had befell them.

 

She was walking by a few gathered nurse when she heard something that caught her attention and she paused listening.

 

The young woman laughed, "I never imagined watching an ANBU snuggling a child."

 

Tsunade stepped forward looking the girl sternly in the eye, "Follow me."

 

The girls eyes widened and she paled slightly as she nodded and followed the Hokage, she was not sure what she'd done but it was evident the Hokage was 'displeased'.

 

Tsunade continued walking, to remain still would draw attention and she preferred her conversations not be casually listened to.  "You stayed in there when Junsei was being visited... why?"

 

The inexperienced nurse looked surprised, "Um... I thought... I should."

 

The girl did not understand what she'd done, it was very unlikely she'd ever been around ANBU before.  As an ANBU they could not reveal their identity, in staying she'd definitely made visiting the child difficult for Kakashi... and twice as much by the fact he did not feel comfortable expressing emotion. 

 

Tsunade firmly corrected, "Listen and make sure your friends know too, Neko and Hebi are her guardians, you will respect them and always leave the room when they visit her.  It is hospital policy that if any ANBU that comes to see someone in the hospital, you are to leave the room unless asked to stay.

 

The girl nodded, "I just wanted to be sure she was safe..."

 

Tsunade quirked her eyebrow in disapproval, "If she's not safe with one of the top ANBU then there is no one in the Leaf Village with whom she is."

 

She flushed and nodded, "I understand my Lady."

 

Tsunade watched her for a moment then stated, "Good.  You are free to return to your friends... and be sure they understand the policy on ANBU visitors."

 

The girl nodded quickly, turned and rushed off... As Tsunade continued walking, her irritation seeped away and she gave a little smile.  Kakashi had come to visit Junsei... amazing.  She just hoped the silly intern hadn't made him too uncomfortable and reluctant to check in on her.  Junsei was a very loving child, they were still trying to find out what town she was from so they could be sure her mother was not alive before allowing her to be adopted.

 

Perhaps she could stop in and see her, the tiny sweet child was a soothing balm to irritated nerves.

 

===================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 39**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL CHAPTERS ARE NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORY LINE...
> 
> 39: CIRCUS FOR A PSYCHO (SKILLET)


	40. HOLD ME NOW (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 40)

**HOLD ME NOW (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 40)**

**=============================**

 

It had took 3 days to reach the port town and he'd agreed to 4 days of book signing... they only had one more day then the signing would be over and they could make the return trip.  Ten days was far too long to be away from their lover and they both were very eager to return to him.

 

**As they returned to their suite for the night Jiraiya smiled and asked, "Koishii I want to feel your exquisite body under my hands, can I massage you?"**

**Ibiki laughed, "I could never say 'no' to that offer, you have the most amazing touch my Koishii, I would love to feel you massage me."**

**Both men stripped and Ibiki lay on the bed on his back as his partner went and got the massage oil, just watching his sensual lover walk across the room had him flushed hard.  When he returned, Jiraiya smiled and kissed him tenderly.  Then his beloved squirt some oil in his hands, warming it, and  stroked his hands over Ibiki's shoulders and very slowly worked his way down his arm, loosening the muscles all the way down to his hand.**

**His beloved truly had incredible hands, he'd never imagined someone could do so many wonderful things with their hands.  Jiraiya returned to massaging his chest then over to the other shoulder repeating the glorious soft knead down his other arm.**

**When his lover returned to his chest again, Jiraiya kissed him lightly then straddled Ibiki's hips resting his weight on his bent knees as he continued down.  Being massaged was highly arousing, but it was worth the tease, he could feel the love in every caress of his Koishii's hands.**

 

Jiraiya looked up debating if he should stroke his beloved to climax before continuing but decided his Koishii wasn't too 'uncomfortable' and could wait a bit longer.  Jiraiya slipped down to sit on the bed at his lover's feet.  He took one foot and rested it on his thigh raising it enough to massage all the way around his partner's calve, as he did he lightly stroked over the heavily scarred area behind his knee.

 

They had come far on this issue too, his beloved did not show distress at his touch, when he could see him.   They still had problems occasionally when he'd be giving his lover oral sex and would brush his fingers over the sensitive area, his Koishii didn't move away but Jiraiya could feel his muscles jump at the urge to... they'd get there eventually, one day he would feel no anxiety when they were touched.

 

**[b]Ibiki felt the tender caress of the back of his knee, but the sensation did not seem distressing only familiar, his lover often massaged him and stroked there.  Jiraiya released his relaxed leg and brought the other up repeating the wonderful slow knead and caresses.**

**When his Koishii finished massaging his leg he felt so relaxed, he would turn over now, but there was something he wanted to try when he did...  Ibiki looked down at his beloved, Jiraiya never straddled him as he massaged his back.  Although Kakashi had, Jiraiya had not... His Koishii was larger and heavier than their slender partner... and erect.**

**He knew it was likely it would be highly distressing, but he wanted to try, nothing could be accomplished by not taking chances.  "Will you straddle my hips like Kakashi did while massaging my back?"**

**Jiraiya smiled gently, "Yes Koishii, I will do anything you ask, you are so very precious to me."**

**Ibiki knew Jiraiya was aware this would probably not go well, but that he accepted that and believed they could handle it if he reacted 'badly'.  Ibiki rolled over and felt his beloved move up to beside him... as his lover straddled his hips he felt the soft brush of Jiraiya's cock against his ass and he felt a wave of terror sweep through him, even knowing it was his partner he couldn't help his panicked cry at the fear of being pinned beneath him.  "No!"**

**Jiraiya moved off him and lay beside him caressing his upper back his eyes soothing, "My strong Koishii... so brave, I love you so very much."**

**Ibiki remained watching his Koishii trying to calm his heart beat, he'd love to believe he could bear to try again but the truth was it would not go any better a second time.**

Ibiki had not rolled over although he clearly wished to, his muscles jumping in reaction to his strong wave of fear and Jiraiya did not think doing anything further tonight would be good for his Koishii.  It had been a very large step to take, too large but he was sure his beloved would relax and be ok.  Ibiki was one of the strongest men he'd ever met.

 

**He was not ready for that step yet...Ibiki rolled onto his back feeling his Koishii's light soothing caresses on his upper chest.  He may not have reacted well this time but he wouldn't give up the progress he'd fought for.  Ibiki stroked down his partner's body, caressing his pelvis then wrapping a hand around his Koishii's engorged length, enjoying the feel of his hard flesh.  This was his partner's cock, the man he loved, he would never hurt him, "I want to feel you on top of me."**

**Jiraiya smiled as his lover's finger stroked the sensitive skin behind his balls, "Gladly."**

**His beloved slipped up over him, covering him, it wasn't threatening when he could see him and he wanted to go further.  "I want to feel my cock rubbing over your rim..."**

**Jiraiya gave a playful smile but his affectionate gaze showed him how proud his partner was of him for every little step he took.  He didn't want to give up trying to move forward, but he needed a few moments... to just enjoy the feel of his lover's body.**

**Jiraiya stroked a slick hand up his cock and positioned it to rub over his rim.  Ibiki rocked his hips, the smooth glide of his cock over his beloved's tempting entrance brought loud moans of ecstasy from them both, teasing them greatly.  Ibiki stilled, he was very excited but not fevered with need, it was time to try something a bit less threatening than being fully covered when on his stomach... which brought to mind what his Koishii had done to help him when he was feeling uneasy about seeing Jiraiya inside their small lover while on top of him.  "Please cup me from behind."**

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "You are extraordinary... yes Koishii."  Jiraiya rose off him and Ibiki rolled to lay on his side facing away, just that was a gift of trust when he'd just reacted very strongly to being covered while on his stomach.  His reacting really wasn't so surprising... Ibiki still had trouble accepting covering him and Kakashi when they lay face down as well.  But Jiraiya was proud, his lover had not let these  difficulties turn into obstacles, he was beginning to try to find ways to solve the problems himself.  His beloved would grow more confident by finding different routes to achieve what he desired to do and to solve things himself when things became too distressing. 

 

Jiraiya molded his aroused body against his partner's, his hand slipping over Ibiki's side to enclose his cock.  Ibiki groaned, "You feel so good... even the press of your cock against me."

 

Jiraiya kissed the base of his neck and murmured, "I am glad." 

 

Slowly Ibiki pressed back against his engorged length and then urged, "Rock Koishii... I want to feel the pleasure of you thrusting against me."

 

"Mmm, sexy Koishii."  His lover was strong and finding his way past the problems that remained was very important... Jiraiya debated a moment then kissed his ear and purred, "I want to use lube, I want you feel my cock stroking over your entrance and hear your cries of rapture at every slow thrust... to feel your cock throbbing in my hand as I stroke you..."

 

**Ibiki groaned, he knew his lover's words were more a question than a tease and quickly nodded , he knew his Koishii would give him incredible pleasure and he could be trusted completely.  His beloved had 'asked' because he didn't want there to be any more anxiety, he wanted him to know what he would do so it wouldn't distress him, but there was no way he could be distressed by the exquisite feel of his partner's actions.  All his anxiety from before was swept away by the ecstasy of his lover's slick cock rubbing over his rim, the silky caress felt so wonderful that in seconds his cock was flushed so hard it ached and every stroke of his beloved's hand brought an ecstatic cry.**

 

Jiraiya was careful not to rub too firmly, entering him like this would be an extremely bad idea and he would never frighten his Koishii like that.  This would bring only pleasure, a reminder that the feel of someone behind him was not threatening.

 

**Ibiki groaned, his partner's cock felt so fantastic, for a brief second he thought about asking him to press in but it was just a momentary thought, he knew could not bear it right now... instead he asked, "Koishii, cover me a bit like before."**

**Jiraiya positioned his cock between his thighs and rocked his hips, teasing his balls and placing light seductive kisses and strokes of his tongue over his scarred back**. 

 

Ibiki moaned breathless with ecstasy, he was not tensed or even seemed uncomfortable with being slanted forward a bit.. Jiraiya stroked his beloved's cock and heard his delighted cry as he reached his orgasm, Jiraiya's loud moans quickly jointed his lover's as his Koishii's thighs tightened slightly and he reached his climax as well. 

 

For a few seconds they lay catching their breath then his beloved surprised him by rolling forward to lay completely on his stomach.  Jiraiya remained cupping him from the side kissing his sensitive back tenderly.  His partner was so extraordinary, he was relaxed, trusting him, it was a trust he'd never break and Jiraiya remained beside him lovingly kissing and stroking him.

 

**Ibiki felt deep pleasure at the feel of his lover's warm body molded to his side, he wished it was possible to sleep beside his Koishii... he knew he couldn't yet, but now he was certain one day he'd be able to.  Even this he could reach, he had not thought so many things would ever be possible, but over the years his dreams had steadily lessened.  Although they had not grown any less terrible, they came less often now.  One day he'd feel both his partners beside him as he slept.**

========================

 

_Kakashi read the patrol report and noted the gate guards found a woman collapsed on the side of the road near the gate, she was in the hospital being observed.  Kakashi read the description carefully, although the description was not exact, it reminded him of the woman who'd been with Junsei and tried to use her as a bomb.  He would go over to see and question the woman... as he walked Kakashi thought of the small child, the way she had clung to him, he missed his partners so much..._

_He heard the alarmed trill of a bird and looked up but it was too late as a weapon hit him in the back of the head knocking him unconscious._

_Kakashi regained consciousness to a surge of extreme pain, his breath was drove out by the force of a kick to his stomach.  It took less than a second to understand his situation, he'd obviously been taken from the Leaf village and the strong pain he'd just received was immediately joined by another, as the man towering over his prone form kicked him in the gut again.  Kakashi tightened his stomach muscles trying to protect his internal organs, it was very hard to think of a way out of this mess when the two men continued slamming his body with makeshift weapons, taunting him as they kicked and hit him... incredibly hard to think, his mind was fuzzy, but if he didn't it was just a matter of time before they killed him._

_He felt his bones snap under the powerful blows, he was lucky they were having too much 'fun' to hit him in the head again, but from how greatly he hurt he knew time was running out... very soon the large amount of damage would send him into shock and he'd die._

_Kakashi thought of Jiraiya and Ibiki and he felt a fierce anger, they would not take him away from his partners!  He had two people who loved him and he would not let these men take that from him!  He would return to his lovers and feel their wonderful touches and kisses!_

_Kakashi gathered his chakra, using his fierce anger to focus and condense it, they should have made sure he couldn't move... Kakashi rolled forward on his stomach and released the chakra he'd gathered in his hands in one huge burst.  He heard his attackers loud terrified cries then silence he wasn't sure if he'd killed the two men but it was not likely they'd be rising again soon with as huge of a chidori he'd released... if not dead they were certainly unconscious._

_Kakashi sighed, it had been a brutal beating, he hurt all over but it was not life threatening, he'd just rest here until he had the strength to move.  He'd fell for it... like a Genin he'd fell for their trap and they almost succeeded in killing him, but they hadn't, all he had were 'a few' broken bones._

_They obviously were not familiar with nin, they underestimated the amount of chakra he was able to emit in one huge burst... he was very tired, he'd just rest a bit before trying to figure out how he would get back to Leaf._

_The deep black of unconsciousness quickly over took him._

 

=====================================

 

Jiraiya was worn out, not as much physically as mentally, he'd had enough of this circus.  As he and Ibiki walked into the tavern the innkeeper waved him over.  Jiraiya got ready to try to smile and sign yet another novel or movie prop, but the man held out a note.

 

"Sir... you have a message... first time I ever got something delivered by a slug... a talking slug, small little thing to be carrying a message... good thing my daughter wasn't on desk duty, she hates bugs..."

 

Slugs were not bugs... A chill washed through Jiraiya, Lady Tsunade's slug!   He glanced at the note and  gasped, "No..."  Jiraiya turned to Ibiki and insisted, "We have to go!"

 

**Jiraiya had paled and was in a panic, as they ran out the door he explained, "It wasn't me!  It was never me, they were after Kakashi!"**

**Ibiki swore vehemently as Jiraiya summoned Gamabunta and begged, "Please, I need you Gamabunta.  I have to get to the Leaf village, Kakashi is in danger."**

**Gamabunta gave a soft grunt,** **"Get on, hold tight to him." He gestured lazily at Ibiki, but even Ibiki could see the Chief Toad was nowhere near as 'relaxed' as he appeared, it shook him to see Jiraiya so frantic.** [/b]

 

Jiraiya drew Ibiki up and begged, "I have to cover you."

 

Ibiki nodded, he lay and Jiraiya covered him with his body, pinning him beneath him.  He had a chakra link with the toads, he would not fall off, when he drew chakra to his hands and feet he was as good as part of the toad.

 

Three powerful leaps and they were there, Gamabunta was winded from the great quantity of strength he'd used to leap the distance and vanished.  They were right outside the hospital and they rushed in Tsunade shook her head, her eyes very distressed, "Kakashi has many broken bones, he's badly injured but he won't let me touch him!"

 

As Jiraiya walked into the room Tsunade tried to keep Ibiki there, "The only reason he's here is because he was unconscious when we found him." 

 

**He was aware she didn't want him to go in, and he remained.  He trusted Jiraiya, everything would be ok now.  She attempted to calm herself but she looked no less upset, her gaze drifted over towards the door before catching herself.**

 

"He's been wearing out all the nin!  He's got five in there right now."  Tsunade dryly remarked trying not to let him see how frightened she was, it was much worse than she wanted him to know, "Plus two on the floor below and two on the floor above."

 

She felt guilty trapping him, but she would not let him leave, "He has a incredible amount of chakra when frightened, but we couldn't let him leave, he had over three very serious breaks."  It was a lie and she was sure Ibiki knew that, but she just couldn't tell him the truth.  Kakashi had so many broken bones that she had only healed his head injury and internal injuries first, hoping she could get him completely healed by the time he regained consciousness... she didn't succeed and she was very worried about further internal injuries from his struggles to leave the hospital.

 

**Ibiki nodded, "That many broken bones, he could never have healed by himself."  He tried to redirect her, there was nothing she could do until Jiraiya calmed him.  Trying to rein in his own distress Ibiki used the time to get essential information.  "Do we know why he was targeted?"**

**Tsunade nodded, her attention diverted from the room. "One of the people involved was quickly found, she was brought to me and _persuaded_ to speak... then Hebi filled in the details."**

**From the vicious tone of Tsunade's voice he had no doubt it had been her doing the 'persuading' of the woman... he almost asked if the woman was still alive, but that didn't matter at the moment.**

**Tsunade looked slightly disgusted as she explained,  "Revenge, Samoshii told someone that the nin with Jiraiya was dangerous, a savage killer... then he disappeared not long after.  His family hired the two men and the woman just went along with it, the baby was one of the men's child, she doesn't know what happened to the mother but given the fact he had no problems with blowing up his own small child it's not likely she's alive."**

**Tsunade glanced over at the door to the room where Kakashi and Jiraiya were, she was not hiding her distress very well, but then she continued.  "This fiasco started when the woman was 'found' on the side of the road by the gate, collapsed for no known reason, we couldn't find anything wrong with her so we were keeping her for observation.  I believe Kakashi must have thought something was strange about it and since she was being kept at the hospital, he was coming to question her.  He didn't know her very worried  'husband' had came to the gate and was let through to go to his wife.  The man must have surprised Kakashi and knocked him out."**

**One of the doctors walked out of the room with a very sullen look on his face, Tsunade watched him coldly a moment then continued, the worry gone from her eyes now she just looked angry.  "When they got Kakashi back here, Hebi started piecing things together.  I got a report stating the patrol had seen the 'husband'  helping his 'wife' out of the village to bring her home... the wife, it seems, was Kakashi."**

**She glance over at the doctor who was done pacing in agitation outside the door and was about to leave,  and snapped. "Stay."  The man blanched and nodded, Tsunade returned to her explanation, "The woman had snuck out of the hospital, but had been unable to leave the village yet. She was waiting for the guards to change so they would not recognize her as the 'wife' who'd already went out the gate with her husband. "  Her eyes glittered and her tone was harsh.  "I plan on making the family pay dearly for the pain and suffering of both the child and Kakashi... the would be assassins are in three of your cells."**

**Ibiki nodded, if the doctor had come out then everything was under control, the man looked annoyed not worried... at least not worried until he realized Tsunade was 'displeased'.  Ibiki could see Tsunade wished to talk to the doctor and he needed to talk to Hebi.  He would return in a bit, "I will go start the paper work on them for a report for the council."  She nodded and as he walked away he noted her militant stride over towards the doctor, the man should be glad she'd calmed slightly or he may have been the one requiring treatment and not the one 'giving' it.**

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Jiraiya walked into the room, five nin were struggling to keep a containment bubble around his beloved.

Jiraiya could see Kakashi was frantic and it was a struggle to remain calm seeing him terrified and trying to remain upright on a broken leg, he was panting hard like he couldn't catch his breath and Jiraiya could see from his posture that he had many fractures and broken bones all over his body. 

 

"Let me go!" Kakashi demanded, but there was fear in his voice, not anger.

 

"Myobu." Jiraiya called soothingly.

 

Kakashi's head whipped over, unfortunately the movement dropped him to the floor but he immediately began fighting to get up.

 

"Can I touch you?  Can I hold you please my cherished one?  I need to hold you so much... please, seeing you like this hurts me so much."  Although he tried not to cry at the sight of his beloved, a tear rolled down his cheek.  Kakashi had stopped trying to rise and remained still, slumped in a heap on the floor. 

 

_He was so tired, his eyes down on the floor, as his lover approached his head lifted and he saw the damp trail of a tear.  It brought him deep sorrow that he was causing his partner to cry, "Please Jiraiya, hold me, I need you."_

 

"When ever you wish my amazing Kitsune." Jiraiya knelt and Kakashi tried to put his arms around him, he was unable to bring them up that high, they were both broken and yet even with them broken he'd make himself move his fingers to make the signs for the transportation jutsu many times.  The men who'd been trying to contain him dropped down to sit on the floor, exhausted. 

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "I'm going to pick you up and lay on the bed with you."

 

"With me?"  Kakashi asked softly, he was so tired his head bowed again, now that he wasn't panicking his exhaustion and pain was setting in.

 

"Yes." Jiraiya replied gently, he was glad neither of the doctors had tried to approach.

 

Kakashi, quietly replied, "Please hold me now." Although nearly whispered,  Jiraiya could hear the longing in it.

 

"Always and forever Kitsune."  Jiraiya tried not to let the cries his beloved gave stop him, Kakashi would not bear their touch to be healed, but if he lay with him he could comfort and calm him.  He lay his Myobu on the bed, and lay beside him.

 

Although he lay like a dropped rag doll on the bed, his leg lay turned in an unnatural position Kakashi softly begged, "Please... I want to lay on you... I want to feel you with my whole body."

 

Jiraiya didn't tell him that it would hurt, they both knew it would.  He tried to carefully draw him up but his lover had so many broken bones it was difficult to find a place to grab him.  There was no doubt Kakashi was in agony by the time he lay on him, he was ashen, sweating and panting rapidly.  Jiraiya brought his arms up then dropped them to the bed, "Myobu, I want to hold you so much but I can't do it knowing I will be causing you more pain."

 

_Kakashi lay breathless in pain, but he nodded very slightly. "I want to feel you hold me."  He was not stupid, he knew what Jiraiya was asking, but thinking about his touch gave him something to focus on besides the knowledge he'd be touched.  As the doctor touched him Kakashi cringed, or tried to, his muscles were too damaged and fatigued to obey and it was little more than a twitch.  He wanted to move away, only the desire to feel Jiraiya hold him kept him still.  His whole body tensed and trembled, sending powerful spasms of pain through him, but even the pain was not enough to 'forget' he was being touched and he averted his face trying to accept the horror of the stranger's touch._

 

Jiraiya could feel the healer's odd chakra, he'd never noticed before but some wave length were similar... others not, he shook his head at the doctor and pointed to the other doctor.  The first stiffly walked out of the room as the second walked over.  His Myobu was not handling this well, he was stressed, exhausted and in a great deal of pain.  It was possible he'd refuse to be touched again, he wasn't going to take the chance his beloved would change his mind about being healed. 

 

Jiraiya held up his hand, the doctor looked confused, then nodded and sent chakra into his hand. Jiraiya nodded, it was enough like his that it would be difficult for Kakashi to know the difference in his worn out state.  Jiraiya lightly trailed soft strokes of chakra over his partner's back as the doctors hands moved over the expanse.  After a moment, the man looked surprised and the look of amazement grew to excitement.

 

Jiraiya understood, with this disaster they made a break through.  Whether it was because his lover's body was familiar with his chakra or because of Jiraiya's steady low stream of chakra being fed into him, he didn't know which,  Kakashi's body was healing deep.  Although not perfectly, it was healing through to the bones on the other side, his breathing became easier as his fractured ribs healed. 

 

_Kakashi could feel the odd chakra flowing into him but with Jiraiya sending chakra into him he could concentrate on that, then the loathsome touch moved down away from where his lover was touching him and it was impossible to ignore it, the feel of the stranger's touch made his skin crawl_.

 

Things started getting tense as the doctor's hand stroked down his Myobu's arm to his wrist, Kakashi shivered and gave a anxious whimper.

 

They ran into a more serious difficulty when the doctor started running his hands down his leg.  Kakashi trembled and softly pleaded, "I don't like this, I don't like being touched, please Jiraiya tell him to stop."

 

Jiraiya looked at the doctor, "Stop.  Lift your hands from him and move away."

 

The doctor looked stunned and hesitated, Jiraiya repeated much firmer, "Take your hands off him and move away."

 

The doctor did, then angrily turned and left the room.  Jiraiya kissed his beloved's shoulder, "I love holding you, feeling you under my hands and the warmth of your body against me."

 

_"I do too." Kakashi replied wearily.  The feel of his lover beneath him made him long to have Ibiki beside him, but he could not go home and enjoy that as long as his leg was still broken._

 

Tsunade stepped inside the door a moment then turned to go, Jiraiya knew it was an offer, it would be fast and easy for her to do it now that she wasn't being fought.  But he was leaving it up to his precious Kitsune, if he could not bear her touch yet then they'd wait.

 

_Kakashi knew she was there, he could feel her chakra signature.  "I..."  He drew a deep breath, it felt good to do it without pain, he'd taped his ribs up many times, it was often weeks before he could breathe normally without twinges of pain.  It helped knowing he was not helpless, Jiraiya told the doctor to stop and go away when he couldn't bear his touch.  "Heal me."_

 

Tsunade walked over and rested four fingers mid thigh then knee and again on the calve.  She wasn't sure if it would help but it wouldn't make things worse so she talked with Jiraiya as she positioned Kakashi's badly broken leg properly and began to heal it, this would take a bit more 'work' than the other.  "So Jiraiya done with this movie nonsense?"

 

Jiraiya gave a soft strained laugh, "Very, I plan on signing papers giving my publisher the authorization to deal with the producers and directors on my behalf, and am going to make it clear I will not accept signings, interviews or anything else along that line, nothing that will disrupt my life or take me away from my partners."  His friend was letting Kakashi be 'invisible', talking normally as if he was not there so it was like he was listening in, involved without the expectation for him to speak, nod or make any response.

 

"Good..." Tsunade added, "and I'll make it clear that to attempt to solicit you will get to tossed from the Leaf village and banned."  She could feel Kakashi's muscles loosen as the pain faded and very soon he was sleeping. 

 

Jiraiya smiled down at his Myobu.  Tsunade was done in minutes, she healed all remaining breaks and patched up any other damage as she commented.  "Dr. Zouchou said you kicked him out after he touched Kakashi."

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "I did not kick him out, but I could not allow him to try to heal Kakashi, not once I realized Kakashi is sensitive to the wave length of chakra... it may be a small part of his resistance to being healed.  Dr. Zouchou's did not match the chakra wave lengths that I touch him with." 

 

Tsunade held up her hand and Jiraiya laid his against it and they fed chakra into their palms.  She dropped her hand, "That's interesting... and the second one was close?  He said he could accept your chakra and use it."

 

Jiraiya shook his head, "No, I believe because they were similar, my chakra being fed into Kakashi let his healing chakra penetrate deeper... like a boost to keep it going."

 

Tsunade smiled, "Well, I will let you two sleep, Ibiki went to do the paperwork for the would be assassins... Kakashi damn near killed them and I gave serious thought to finishing it when I saw him.  I don't know exactly what they did, but they did massive blunt force trauma.  I kept Ibiki out because I'm pretty sure it would not bring back good memories."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "I do enough worrying for the both of us."

 

Tsunade smiled sadly, but only replied, "Rest now."

  

\------------------------------------

 

**As Ibiki walked out of the hospital he saw Hebi walking towards the door, by now he'd received the report of Ibiki and Jiraiya's arrival and was coming to see him.**

**Hebi's real name was Onken Yuusui but Ibiki would always address him by his ANBU name, it was a reminder that no matter what Hebi was doing he was one of his top ANBU and that would never change.  But he'd never run into a situation where he'd needed to address him in public and it felt a bit odd to call him by his formal name.  "Onken."**

**Hebi looked over, then crossed to stand before him, his tone was low and discreet and yet there was no effort to hide the distress in it.  "Is Kakashi ok?"**

**Ibiki nodded, "Jiraiya is with him, he will be just fine, I'm sure once Jiraiya calms him he'll let Tsunade fix his injuries."  The look in Ibiki's eyes acknowledged that he was aware it had been more than a 'few broken bones'.  "Walk with me."**

**Hebi nodded, remaining still drew attention to them, people did not pay attention to others conversation when they were walking.**

**Hebi spoke somberly, "I am very relieved he is being healed... I failed you both... no, I failed Tsunade as well, I failed to protect Kakashi and keep the village secure."**

**Ibiki met his eyes, "You did not fail, I made a mistake splitting up the duties.  In doing so I caused this to happen.  If I had just placed you, or he, in charge you both would have been aware of what the other was doing instead of having to act alone.  It could have just as easily been you who was the target, I risked you both."**

**Ibiki liked Hebi, he didn't protest or try to make light of the error he'd made, just accepted Ibiki was partly to blame and did not dwell any further on blame.  It was in the past now, "Sir, I'd like to interrogate the assassins."**

**Ibiki thought a moment and nodded, Hebi was right to think it would be very hard not to let his emotions cloud his judgment.  Hebi was a skilled interrogation specialist as well as a top ANBU, he would get every bit of necessary information and do it without his emotions coming into the situation.**

**\--------------**

 

Hebi would take care of the interrogation, so Ibiki would not need to struggle to maintain his professionalism.

 

As Ibiki went to his office to compile a report for the council Hebi went to the lower level cells and interrogation rooms, little more than bare rooms with a chair and a camera in the far corner to record the subjects behavior and what was said.

 

In minutes Hebi had the burly one that had abducted Kakashi sitting in the interrogation room, his sightless eyes looking forward, Kakashi's 'attack' had blinded both his attackers.  Hebi took advantage of the distress he would feel at being unable to see him and circled him as he spoke, "You are going to tell me everything about your plan to assassinate Kakashi Hatake."

 

"Why should I?!"  The man blustered, although he was not very successful at hiding the nervousness in his words.

 

Hebi reached out and grasped his left hand snapping the first finger then released his hand.  Then he continued walking around the man as he blandly commented, "You know... it's very likely you'll be blind for life... it's a hard life... full of accidents..."

 

"I won't..."

 

Hebi grasped his hand again snapping his second finger then releasing it as the man howled and cradled his hand to his body.  Calmly Hebi continued, "So many things that could so easily go wrong...  you could fall and break an arm.."  Hebi tapped his shoulder very softly and the man flinched away, crying out as he fell from his chair.  The touch had not hurt him, but it was not necessary for it to hurt him.  The 'leader' was unraveling, the terror at his helplessness left him trembling as he sat on the floor and he yelped.  "Don't touch me!  I'll tell you!  I'll tell you everything just... don't touch me!"

 

Hebi spoke from behind him, "That sounds intriguing... tell me everything you can think of, if it's interesting I may sit down to listen."  Hebi shifted to the man's left, "But it would have to be interesting... I become restless when the story lacks details."

 

The man quickly told him everything he could, this had been the 'difficult' one... they were often the easiest ones.  The more arrogant and 'powerful' the person was before being captured the easier it was to completely destroy their confidence and get all the information that was necessary from them, bullies were essentially cowards that used their size or strength to intimidate... those advantages being taken away left them with nothing and they showed their cowardly nature. 

 

This had not brought him pleasure or satisfaction, it was not torture, simply a form of persuasion that would simplify his interrogation of the two others.  Before waving the ANBU  guard forward to take him back to his cell, Hebi finished the process, "Blind for the rest of your life... all the men and women you've hurt looking for you... you will be helpless as they do horrible things to you... never knowing if they are near or what they will do."

 

The man was crying brokenly as the ANBU lead him away, back to the cell beside his cohorts.  Hebi wouldn't even have to touch the others, listening to their leader's hopeless sobbing would leave them both shaken enough that they'd make no effort to resist and would tell him everything.

 

He had no sympathy, these men and woman were worse than the enemy.  Only someone who'd given up all the good and kindness in their heart could use a baby as a weapon, it was not something that could be forgiven even if they had remorse for doing it, but they did not even hold remorse, only regret and disappointment that they did not succeed.  Hebi thought on the information he'd gathered from the first to formulate the questions he'd ask the other two failed assassin. 

 

By the time he'd completed the interrogations of all three criminals he had a complete answer to all the questions they had needed answered...

 

Although Kakashi hadn't worn an ANBU mask when in Machihazure and he was wearing one while guarding Jiraiya during the book signing.  The assassin had not known what he looked like aside from that their target was a 'white haired man' that had guarded Jiraiya when in Machihazure.  And a white haired man was one of the ANBU guarding the Sannin for the book signing.  Jiraiya and Kakashi were the only white haired nin they saw and they figured if their target had guarded him in Machihazure then it was likely he'd be the guard now.

 

They now knew the first time the woman had approached them, she had been looking for a way to get close so she could study Kakashi but remain unmemorable... she didn't know Jiraiya's novels.  The toddler 'surprised' her by going directly to Kakashi, she'd had no idea the child loved cats... it made things easier, they then knew if they 'released' her near Kakashi that she'd go directly to him.

 

The imprisoned men and woman awaited the council's decision, he was certain it would be death, he'd take care of that too and would make it 'known', by leaking the information, that it had been himself that had 'brought their deaths' not Ibiki.  Hebi had no one that would mourn his death, and the Commander and his lovers had suffered enough, he would not take the chance Ibiki would be targeted, although it was a remote chance... the saying that there was no honor among thieves held true on a much deeper level among the men and woman who'd sold their souls to kill for profit.  Their peers would only feel contempt for them because they had failed to complete the 'job' they'd been hired to do.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

**When Ibiki returned, Tsunade was just walking out of the room.  She smiled, "Kakashi's resting."**

**Ibiki nodded, when he entered the room he saw Jiraiya laying on the bed, Kakashi lay on top of him now asleep.  Jiraiya had looked over as the door opened and now held out his hand to him.**

**Ibiki walked over and took it, stroking the back lightly with his thumb.  Jiraiya looked nearly as exhausted as Kakashi... further confirmation that it had been very serious.  "I just dropped in to see how you both are doing.  I will return in a bit, let's just let him rest."**

**Jiraiya nodded quietly.  His Koishii was very somber, this had put a serious fright in them all.  Ibiki stroked his face and kissed him gently.  He looked down at his Saiai, he wanted to touch him but he didn't want to risk waking him.**

 

Jiraiya saw the longing in Ibiki's eyes as he looked at their lover and urged, "Koishii, touch him, your touch is familiar and soothing, you will not wake him."

 

Ibiki stroked his Kakashi's back tenderly, "I can't wait to hold you both, to feel my partners in my arms and know it's over and he's safe."

 

Jiraiya nodded, his beloved was so strong, his devotion to the village was exceptional.  His loyal Koishii continued working when all he wanted was to stay by their sides and not leave.

 

**Ibiki rested his hand on Kakashi's back watching him as he felt his partner's deep steady breaths... he was ok... Ibiki looked up at his Koishii and saw understanding in his eyes.**

**Jiraiya took his hand , drew him down into a soft kiss, "We didn't lose him, he's here.  Go do the things you need to, we will be here resting."**

**Ibiki nodded, but rested his hand on his Saiai's back a moment longer before leaving to return to the ANBU building for Hebi's report on the interrogation of the assassins, then he had to go meet with the council before he could return to his lovers**.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi didn't sleep long, he woke to the feel of his lover cradling him in his arms, it felt wonderful but his thoughts were on what happened and why_.[/i]

 

Kakashi was healed now, but just remained on top of him stroking his chest, but not in an effort to arouse him, his Myobu was deep in thought. 

 

Softly his Kitsune stated, "Samoshii's family was angry... ."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Yes, I suppose they were."  Angry or not hiring an assassin... or in this case three assassin, that used a baby as a weapon was unforgiveable.

 

Kakashi sounded uneasy, "I was supposed to pick up the child... they said anyone else would have."

 

Jiraiya truthfully replied, "Possibly a low level Shinobi would, but no ANBU would let the child distract them from possible danger... they would not have picked her up, they would have continued their mission and if possible protect the child, but the mission is most important.  You ensure the safety of the village, that has to come before rescuing a child."

 

Kakashi looked up, Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "Did Hebi abandon his assigned mission and pick her up?"  It was a rhetorical question.  "When she appeared in the market, did I immediately pick her up?   You did not act any different than any experienced Shinobi.  You could feel something was wrong about it and did just as you should."

 

Kakashi lay his head down again but his body wasn't as tense now.  "Iruka would have picked her up, he's kind."

 

Jiraiya agreed, "Yes he's kind, but he's not going to miss the indication that something was wrong.  I am not sure if he would have picked her up, but I would hope not.  In a crowded market, the paper bomb would have killed many of the villagers nearby when it ended the toddler and her rescuer's life."

 

Kakashi commented  softly, "Her name is Junsei... right now."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "It is a good name."  Junsei meant pure... it was interesting his Myobu knew what she was being called, he was beginning to be more in touch with the villagers.

 

_Kakashi nodded and lay quietly with his head on Jiraiya's chest.  Iruka was... nice.  No one would have ever targeted him... he wouldn't have killed Samoshii... "Do you wish I was... kind?"_

_Jiraiya gave him a gentle squeeze, "No, you are not Iruka and I wouldn't want you to be him.  I love you just as you are."  Jiraiya kissed his temple, "You are my amazing gorgeous Myobu, and I would not change a single thing about you."_

_Kakashi's tension slipped away, his hand lightly stroking his lover's chest. "I'm glad you and Ibiki are back.  I need you.  It was hard, but you both are back now."_

_Ibiki walked into the room and over to stroke Kakashi's back softly, "We missed you so much, we need you Saiai."_

_Kakashi lifted his head and looked at his lovers, "I want to go home."_

_Ibiki smiled, "Yes, I think it's time we go home so we can hold you and touch you Saiai."_

_Kakashi rose, he looked down at his uniform then at Ibiki, there were several partial footprints and other marks of the violence he'd endured very evident on the cloth.  He was worried Ibiki may find these distressing, he wished he had been able to get rid of this uniform just like Jiraiya had the first when it had clear knife cuts._

 

**Ibiki stroked his face, "It's ok Saiai."  His beloved looked so guilty... and now it occurred to him that the last time his lover had been badly injured there had been no uniform when he arrived home... "Everything is ok, I promise."**

 

Kakashi looked relieved, he glanced back at Jiraiya.  "I don't want to walk."  

 

Jiraiya nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder.  He wouldn't let him use any chakra, his body was still trying to recover.  Kakashi stroked Ibiki's face, then they made the hand signs and appeared in the living room.

 

But Kakashi did not move away from him, he leaned back into him and reached out to draw Ibiki close.  Ibiki smiled and they cupped their slender lover between them, Kakashi sighed happily and relaxed.  Jiraiya met Ibiki's eyes and saw he agreed, their partner was not as 'alright' as he seemed, physically he was healed but this had frightened him. 

 

His Saiai **drew his arms tighter around him and pressed back into Jiraiya.  They understood what he needed, Jiraiya and Ibiki enclosed him firmly between them, for anyone else this would be like being 'pinned' but for his Saiai it was reassurance and love.  Those were things he'd never deny either of his treasured lovers**.

 

_Kakashi knew he was probably upsetting his partners and he softly explained, "I will never allow anyone  to take this from me... here I am loved."_

_"Deeply loved." Ibiki agreed and Jiraiya kissed him tenderly._

_His lovers continued holding him protectively between them until Kakashi reassured, "I'm ok... I never want to lose this."  He would never leave them, he do anything possible to always return to them._

**Ibiki kissed his temple gently, then urged, "Let's go shower."   Then his Saiai would need some food and rest to recover his chakra.**

**Kakashi looked anxious as he removed his clothes but relaxed when he was bare and his nude partners joined him walking in to shower.  Ibiki knew he'd been worried there would be bruises or marks, he was afraid of upsetting them, but nothing could be more upsetting than knowing they'd left him alone, unprotected and he'd almost been killed.**

 

_They finished their shower, washing each other tenderly, dried, then they went to watch Ibiki make their evening meal.  When Kakashi sat on the stool, Jiraiya cupping his body from behind, he was filled with joy at the familiar routine, this was the way it was supposed to be, they were all together again._   

 

=====================

 

_When he woke in the morning he felt so well rested, he hadn't realized how tired he'd been, it was probably one of the reasons his mind had been wandering and he hadn't heard the leader of the assassins behind him._

_He had not slept this well since before his lovers had left, the feel of Jiraiya beside him and Ibiki so close had finally gave him the deep sleep he'd needed.  Waking up with his beloved beside him had brought a powerful wave of joy, everything was perfect now that he had both his partners beside him again.  Kakashi fought against the desire to caress Jiraiya if he did they'd all become aroused, and he and Ibiki would be late going to work_.

 

**Ibiki smiled at his lovers, there was no doubt both were attempting to resist having sex.  It would make he and Kakashi late, but it wouldn't be the first time, and his Saiai had been working very hard the last few days... and been very badly beaten.  He was well aware his beloved's injuries had been far more extreme than Tsunade had wanted him to know.**

**His partners had rose from their bed, their bodies aroused but still resisting their desire... he was extremely happy to be back home and with both his lovers once more.  Watching his sexy partners as they went to dress brought the urge to feel them, it was not one he wanted to resist.  "Come lay with me."**

**Both his lovers immediately came over, each laying on the opposite side of him, cradling his body between theirs and caressing his sensitive skin.  Ibiki groaned, then gave a soft gasp as his Saiai's hand slipped into his sleep pants to enclose and slowly stroke his cock**.

 

The desire in Ibiki's eyes as he'd asked them to come lay beside him had wiped away  all thought of resisting their own desire.  Jiraiya caressed the scarred expanse of his beloved's chest and stomach, bringing nearly as many fevered cries as the tease of their sensual partner's hand.   When Jiraiya dipped his mouth to trail the stripes of tender scar tissue with his tongue his Koishii moaned feverishly. 

 

_Kakashi brushed beneath the head of Ibiki's cock with soft waves of chakra that had his lover bowing up into his hand as he stroked him.  His partner was so sexy!  He had to see his beloved's hard flesh, he slipped his hand out of his lover's pants and pulled them down.  Then groaned in delight at the sight of his partner's flushed length, quickly dipping his head to feel it in his mouth, his tongue stroking over the swollen tip.  His own cock throbbed eagerly at the sight, but he was too excited at the taste of his lover to think about his own need_.

 

Jiraiya could see his Myobu was fascinated... and very aroused, he had no idea how greatly he was teasing their partner.  Ibiki's breathless moans of quickly escalating need were so wonderful, he'd missed this every moment of their time away, seeing the delight their sensual lover had at touching and tasting them and hearing his rapturous cries as they touched him.

 

_Kakashi eagerly caressed the exquisite length with his mouth, cupping the hard length with his tongue as he slipped down to the base.  Feeling his beloved's cock slip into his throat brought a surge of pleasure so strong he whined as he slowly drew back._

 

**Ibiki gasped and panted, although very aroused feeling his cock slide onto his Saiai's throat still caused a flash of uneasiness, but that was swept away as he grew more fevered with need.  It was astounding the rapture his lover could give him!  His partner's hand was fondling his balls as he drew back to suck on the head, his tongue stroking over the swollen flesh with obvious delight, then he dropped to the base again.**

**Ibiki gave fevered moans, but felt a stronger spike of distress as his Saiai stroked over his rim, his beloved drew back and sucked on the shaft, flicking his tongue over it**.

 

_He liked the feel of his partners, to feel their bodies react eagerly to his touch, but he did not brush over Ibiki's rim again.  He had gotten too excited and forgot... he would have touched Jiraiya like that, teased his ass, but it had frightened Ibiki_.

 

**Kakashi lifted his head and watched him as he resumed stroking his cock until Ibiki cried out, bucking into the rapturous hold as he climaxed.  After the first buck his Saiai shocked a cry from him by quickly covering his arousal and sucking it eagerly, whimpering in pleasure as he caressed his balls.**  

 

_Kakashi shivered in delight, Jiraiya was teasing his ass!  A slick finger slowly stroked into him as he sucked Ibiki's cock and teased everything he could from his lover's extraordinary body... Kakashi gave a excited whine as Jiraiya's finger slipped out and two slick fingers slid into his body, they stroked for a moment before shifting out and leaving him longing to feel his lover inside him.  Kakashi released his beloved's gratified length and watched Jiraiya slip up to caress Ibiki's cheek, murmuring softly to him in a husky purr.  Both his lover's were so very tempting_!

 

[b] **After gasping out loud cries of rapture as his beloved teased him through multiple orgasms, his Saiai left his cock slip free.  Now sated and sweat soaked on the bed, he tried to catch his breath.  Jiraiya was smiling fondly down at Kakashi, then met Ibiki's eyes, "He loves the feel of you... the taste of you... even as you received pleasure from him you brought  him strong pleasure."**

**Ibiki drew Jiraiya into a kiss and murmured, "I want to take him in my mouth."  He wanted this very much but still worried he'd react in a way that would upset his Saiai... Jiraiya was here, he could calm their beloved if he grew upset**.

 

Jiraiya smiled and encouraged, "I'm sure he'll love it."  He could see his Koishii really wanted to do this, even though he  still  hesitated.  He was aware Ibiki had felt a bit distressed at their lover taking him in his throat... and more than just a bit when he felt Kakashi's touch on his rim... these were all things they would continue to work on until no anxiety remained.

 

**As Kakashi rose up to lay beside him, Ibiki rolled onto his side caressing his Saiai's engorged length and listening to needy mews he gave at his touch.  Then placed kisses down his pale skin as he slipped down to lay between his legs, Kakashi looked surprised, then very excited.  Ibiki lightly licked the head of his lover's cock and felt his beloved tremble as he cried out in delight.**

**Ibiki hesitated, his Saiai was very aroused,  he continued licking the area but could not convince himself to take his lover's cock in his mouth and he drew away**.

 

He knew how to help... as well as tease loud howls of rapture from their partner.  Jiraiya sat up and drew his seductive lover into his lap facing away.  His beloved's body was slick with lube, although tight, he lifted their slender partner up slightly and lowered him slowly down to the base on his cock.  His Myobu's cock flushed harder at the sensation of his large cock filling him.  Jiraiya enclosed him in his arms firmly, tempting passionate cries from him by placing soft kisses over his sensitive throat.

 

**Ibiki looked at the way his Koishii cupped their partner, Jiraiya was in him but it was not distressing...  the firm grasp looked loving.   He also noticed his Koishii's thumb rested at the base of their lover's cock... Kakashi would not be able to cum.  His beloved's cries were so wonderful and now Ibiki felt no reluctance to taking the turgid length in his mouth.  He teased it with draws and flutters of his tongue, listening to his Saiai's fevered howls.   Kakashi was so sexy**!

 

_Kakashi cried out in shock and would have writhed if it wasn't for Jiraiya's grasp.  He looked down to see Ibiki sucking his cock.  The sight added to the powerful hunger he felt, his partner's mouth caressing his cock as his body was filled with his other lover's hard length... astounding!  The idea made him so excited that if Jiraiya hadn't blocked his release he'd have cum just at the knowledge_!

 

**It was obvious Jiraiya was delighted by the passionate cries their lover gave and Ibiki could tell their partner's body flexing around his erection was teasing him greatly, but he seemed to be enjoying the long tease.  His Saiai's cries were so thrilling that he'd have been extremely aroused if his beloved hadn't sated him so completely**.

 

Jiraiya could feel his Myobu's body tense around him, his cries so enthralling as he tried to cum.  When he glanced down at Ibiki... he could see why their enticing lover was now fevered with need, his Koishii was taking the head of  their partner's cock in his throat.  Jiraiya felt a surge of deep love for his Koishii, he worked so hard to get back the freedom to do everything he wished to do.

 

**He wanted to take him fully in his throat and hear his lover's howls of rapture as he came, to know he was giving his beloved that ecstasy... but he couldn't.  He would not be able to bear feeling his cock buck.  He drew back and enclosed his Saiai's cock in his hand, stroking it as Jiraiya lifted his thumb and relaxed his hold.**

**Kakashi howled in rapture his hips giving a strong buck that sent a chill through him at the thought of having his mouth there as his lover came**.

 

_Kakashi moaned loudly at the feel of Jiraiya hard length filling him, every hard contraction around the rigid length felt spectacular!  He rocked slightly teasing a few more hard contractions of his muscles around the width.  As he trembled at the rapture of his orgasm, he heard his partner's loud groan at the tease.  His beloved's cock engorged with strong need and filling his body felt fantastic_!

 

**Ibiki was watching them, then enclosed Kakashi's cock and stroked, tempting his lover hard and watching in delight as his Saiai writhed and rocked on Jiraiya's needy flesh.  He was delighted by the loud moans his lovers were giving.**

**Kakashi arched and begged Jiraiya, "Buck!  Cum!  Let me feel you filling me!"**

**Kakashi's words brought a touch of unease, but mostly excitement, his Saiai was teasing their lover with his words and had slipped up to his knees, raising his body slightly.  Jiraiya groaned, grasping his hips, but Ibiki didn't get the impression that their partner was being held in place.  The hold seemed more an expression of his rapture and Ibiki could see it excited both his lovers as Jiraiya bucked up urgently, then again as Kakashi reached his climax.  Ibiki continued to stroke him, keeping his lover's body aroused and tightly grasping Jiraiya's cock as his Koishii gave a last firm buck.  Both men now sated, his Saiai dropped to the base and lay back against Jiraiya looking content**. 

 

_Jiraiya kissed his temple then urged Ibiki to move up and kissed him deeply,  "I'm so very blessed."_

_Ibiki caressed them both tenderly, Kakashi smiled, the feel of his lover's cock inside of him and the loving caress of his other partner made him feel so good.  Even if is lover was not hard, his cock still filled him, and the touches that would've teased his need now just brought joy.  He could not become aroused, but he'd longed for his lover's touches the whole time they were gone and the sensation of being filled and caressed made him feel wanted_.

 

\--------------------------

 

**Now showered and dressed, they went to the kitchen.  After they drank their morning tea and coffee, Ibiki kissed his Saiai tenderly, "You do not need to come in, I can give you time off."**

 

_Kakashi shook his head, "No, it would be because I'm your lover... I will pull missions.  I can't make the other nin have to take on extra missions so I can... rest."  He doubted he'd actually be resting, the desire for his lover's touch and to touch him made it extremely unlikely_.

 

**Ibiki nodded, he didn't try to convince him, but the truth was it wasn't just because he was his lover.  Kakashi often pulled some of the worst and hardest missions, his skills were too essential to the missions and he often pulled almost twice the amount of missions as his other ANBU....  and standard missions on top of that.  Kakashi was his ANBU, as well as his lover, and after the ordeal he'd just been through he was exhausted.  "No ANBU mission, standard mission only."**

 

Jiraiya saw the concern in Ibiki's eyes, this did not ease his own worries.  He stroked his Myobu's face, "I want to ask Iruka to give you a light mission."  He would not do that without his lover's permission.

 

Kakashi studied his face, then looked at Ibiki again and nodded, "I will only take a light regular mission."

 

**Ibiki kissed him, "Thank you Saiai."  He was very relieved both as his Commander and lover, he worried about him being injured because of an error caused by exhaustion and could not have assigned him a mission.**

 

_Kakashi felt so happy, his lovers made him feel so special and he wanted to be near his lovers more than anything after being separated for so long. A short mission would be good then he and Jiraiya could spend time together and soon Ibiki would be free to come home_.

 

===================================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 40**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL CHAPTERS AFTER THE FIRST FEW ARE NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORY LINE...
> 
> 40: HOLD ME NOW (RED)


	41. WHERE I WANT TO BE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 41)

**WHERE I WANT TO BE (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 41)**

**=========================================**

 

His Myobu would be here in a moment, he'd walked with Ibiki to work then would come here.  Jiraiya smiled at Iruka, but he couldn't find it in him to make light of everything that had happened.  "Please, a tired nin needs a short, easy, mission.  He's been working too hard and had a bad couple of days."

 

Iruka's eyes slipped over to the one remaining nin in the office, as he walked out Iruka looked at Jiraiya, it was clear word had gotten around about a 'disturbance' and rumors were being passed as to what exactly had happened.

 

Iruka didn't ask, only replied, "I see... maybe this tired nin should take the day off.  I can give any missions to the other nin, nothing important is happening."

 

Jiraiya gave a little smile, "He is insistent... he doesn't want to burden his peers with extra missions."

 

Iruka nodded, "I will give him a light, fast duty."

 

Jiraiya felt a well of gratitude, Iruka was a very good friend to them all, even when kept in the dark about what was happening he did his best to help them.  "Thank you."

 

A group of nin wandered into the office and Iruka smiled, "It's not a problem." 

 

Jiraiya waved as he walked out and Iruka began handing out the set of assigned missions and duties to the next wave of available nin.

 

\-------------------

 

Jiraiya decided he'd drop in briefly to see his friend, he felt very guilty that this mess he'd created by doing the book signing here had caused her a lot of stress.  Also,  he'd bought her a 'trinket' just as he always did every time he traveled.   He'd bought her a beautiful netsuke of a fish peaking out of a patch of seaweed while in the port city.  It was amazingly realistic, made by a well known master artist of the craft.   He'd met the creator, a very modest and self effacing man who'd been delighted that he'd liked the carving and explained that he was far from a 'master'...  according to him there were no masters of the form.  Netsuke were an evolving art form, you had never completely learned it, nor were you a novice, the intricacy of the carvings were in constant development from a basic form to netsuke that were so realistic you expected them to breathe, and even the oldest sculptor would not call himself a master. 

 

The artist may not have thought himself a master but this extraordinary piece was what you'd expect from a highly skilled man who loved creating the small works of art, a real treasure and he was glad he'd found it for his friend.  As he walked into her office she looked up and smiled but her eyes were serious, "How's Kakashi?  Did he get some rest?"

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Yes, he planned on just jumping back into ANBU missions, but Ibiki convinced him to take something light from the regular mission roster."

 

She nodded, "He's not one to slow down, even when he should."

 

 Jiraiya nodded and replied somberly, "I just want to ask him not to go on missions... to stay safe in the village."  He shook his head, "It is very selfish of me... he loves being a nin... loves being ANBU.  I just need to find some way to accept it... I have lost so many people in my life,  I can't face losing him."

 

Tsunade's eyes filled with guilt as she studied Jiraiya's face then replied , "I just keep screwing up... I let Kakashi get grabbed by that idiot producer... now this.  I promised I'd protect them, but I let him get..."

 

"Shhh."  Jiraiya soothed.  "This is not something you have control over, just as you could not have known my family would die and I couldn't have known Dan and Nawaki would.  Life is often not kind... but we enjoy the time we have with our loved ones and find ways to accept what may happen in the future."  

 

Jiraiya wasn't sure if he was speaking to himself or to his friend... his words were the only ones he had for himself as well as her.  He tried to focus on only the present and his friend, "You came to him and healed him as much as possible before he woke, that's all I could ever ask of you.  If we could see the future we'd go mad trying to stop all the tragedies that happen to those we know and care for... I have to accept that I cannot protect him from those tragedies... but it's hard."

 

Tsunade nodded, she knew the pain he felt, she'd experienced it herself and watched him suffer it.

 

 Jiraiya felt a fresh wave of guilt, after all the stress he'd caused her now he was burdening her with his worries.  "Come to lunch at Shushuya this afternoon."

 

Tsunade nodded, "I'm free... well, free enough, I'll meet you there at 2 o'clock." 

 

Jiraiya smiled and waved, "I really should go, I want to be there when Kakashi returns from his mission."

 

Tsunade watched her friend walk out and sighed wearily.  If Jiraiya had found Kakashi there wouldn't have needed to be any involvement from the council, as soon as he saw what they'd done he would have slaughtered them without a moment's hesitation.  Jiraiya would do anything to protect the ones he loved... but in the end there was nothing they could do but hope and pray.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya sat on a bench watching the market place, after visiting with his friend he felt too low to go see the nin in the missions office yet and often inspiration for stories came from unexpected sources.  It was incredible how different the Leaf village was than most of the other towns and villages he'd visited.  People looked relaxed and content... they talked happily with each other.  Few places were like this, often the people in the other places were stiff and distrustful, their expressions reserved, they almost seemed to radiate stress.

 

It was a beautiful day, he'd remain here a bit watching the people, then go see if his Myobu was back from his mission yet... he'd been in such a hurry to leave that he'd forgotten to give his friend the Netsuke.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya sat on the window sill near Iruka listening to him talking about things his students were working on as he waited for his precious Myobu.  When Kakashi walked into the missions office there was undisguised joy on his face and he crossed to Jiraiya.  He hesitated slightly as he looked at Iruka and the emotion on his face was hidden once more but less carefully, his eyes still held happiness at seeing him.

 

Jiraiya rose and walked over to greet him,  "Myobu", Jiraiya caressed his cheek, "Would you like to come with me to go to lunch with Tsunade?"

 

Kakashi looked conflicted, "She's your friend... I will be interrupting."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "You are never interrupting and always wanted." 

 

_Kakashi stroked his beloved's neck softly.  He really would be interrupting, but he had no friends of his own he could invite.  Then he thought about how Iruka had been concerned after hearing about 'the stranger grabbing him'.  He knew Jiraiya liked Iruka... and he felt a bit more comfortable with him than any other beside his partners._

_Kakashi looked up at his lover, "Iruka was worried about me after I was grabbed by the stranger."_

_Jiraiya nodded, "He knows how being touched hurts you and he cares about you."_

_"I think..."  Kakashi hesitated, this was such a strange idea, choosing to be around someone besides his lovers... but Iruka made his time in the missions office less stressful...  Iruka wouldn't touch him and he cared.  "Can Iruka come visit with her too?_ "

 

Jiraiya hid his surprise behind a loving smile, "I'm sure Tsunade would enjoy having him visit too, he's a very nice person."

 

Kakashi nodded and Jiraiya encouraged, "You could go ask him, I'm sure one of the others can take over on the mission desk."

 

The two men walked over to Iruka's desk and he looked up with a friendly smile. 

 

Kakashi looked at Jiraiya, he'd wanted to ask Iruka, but there were so many people around.  The love and understanding in his partner's eyes gave him the strength and determination to 'forget' the other nin were there.  Kakashi looked at Iruka, he looked curious, but calm... relaxed.  Yes, he wanted him to come, "Will you come to lunch with us?"

 

Iruka looked surprised, then delighted, "Yes, I would enjoy going to lunch with you.  Just a moment I'll get someone to cover the desk."

 

Iruka could barely contain his happiness, he couldn't believe the reclusive man had asked him to go to lunch with them!  

 

Iruka drew Kotetsu aside, "Please cover my duty, I have something to do that's important to me."

 

Kotetsu smiled and teased, "Ok, but you owe me one...  no crappy missions for a week will do." 

 

Iruka laughed and countered, "One day."

 

Kotetsu gave a feigned sigh, "Ok, deal.  Have fun."

 

Iruka returned to Jiraiya and Kakashi, the slender shinobi was standing noticeably closer to Jiraiya and he could see how much Kakashi wished to touch him.  "Are you sure I'm not interrupting?"

 

Jiraiya was going to answer, but Kakashi replied, "I want you to come."

 

Iruka nodded and smiled, as they left the Admin. building and walked through the village Iruka wondered where they had chosen to go to lunch... probably Ichiraku's Ramen, the food there was amazing!

 

Then Jiraiya lead the way up to a restaurant Iruka had never been to before, although he'd never been in it he knew it by reputation... Shushuya 's!  They were going to lunch here?!  Only the highest echelon ate here, he wasn't dressed to go to such a fancy restaurant!   Iruka was very uneasy, he'd make a fool out of himself in such a fine restaurant.  Jiraiya walked in, but Iruka hesitated before walking in the door and looked over at Kakashi.  The reserved man remained emotionless and yet somehow Iruka knew he was uneasy as well... knowing another felt the same way and understood how he felt made it easier.

 

Iruka's concerns about his clothing not being appropriate were immediately put to rest, as they entered the restaurant the hostess led them to a private room.  Iruka was surprised to find the Hokage there, and already sipping on some of the restaurants famous Sake.  It made sense, she was Jiraiya's close friend, it had just surprised him a bit.

 

"Lady Tsunade."  Iruka greeted her and she casually waved a hand, "Sit, we'll have Dim Sum."

 

Iruka nodded and sat, Jiraiya sat beside his friend and poured a cup of sake.  The two friends struck up a low conversation.  Jiraiya and Tsunade were sipping on the Sake, Iruka knew he should pour himself a cup, he didn't want to be rude but he did not ever drink.  Alcohol made him sick to his stomach at the first sip, even mixed drinks.  His eyes slipped over to Kakashi and he was relieved to see he was not drinking either.  Iruka was grateful when the hostess noticed this and brought green tea for Kakashi and himself.

 

_Kakashi noticed Iruka looking at him every time he was uncertain, then relaxing... it felt strangely good to know he was helping Iruka not to be anxious.  He'd never thought that others felt the same anxiety he did when things were unfamiliar... that revelation helped ease his own nervousness somewhat.  There were things that were the same about them... did others beside them feel this way sometimes_?

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

After his friend talking about the idiot producer that morning,  Jiraiya decided to mention having seen him.  "When I was at the book signing I saw Nanibou Gouman... I was surprised he'd dared to come."  

 

"How's his nose?"  Tsunade asked mockingly.

 

Jiraiya shrugged, "Looks like it didn't heal perfectly, but it healed and that's good enough."

 

Tsunade frowned, "I was just too angry at what he'd done to let him stay in the village long enough to be healed."

 

Jiraiya nodded, "Even if you had healed him he may have ended up in the same state after I found out he'd come here after I told him I would not allow it... and quite probably in much worse shape after I found out he'd grabbed Kakashi."

 

Tsunade gave an understanding nod, "He should be glad Raidou stopped me from killing him... but I hear that by the time he was left outside the gate he wished I had killed him.

 

Jiraiya nearly laughed, although his Myobu had broken his nose, Raidou had gave him the cracked ribs... Raidou was not the type to give in to anger, he had not 'beat him up', he'd purposely chosen to injure him in a way that would bring the most pain as he traveled back to the port town.  Every slight bounce of the carriage would have been excruciating!  "Well, when he saw Ibiki this time he looked like he was going to wet his pants and we barely even got a passing glimpse of him the rest of the time I was in the port town."

 

The reason he and Ibiki had returned early was not something that either of them wished to dwell on over a meal so Jiraiya commented, "You don't mind that we brought Iruka?"

 

Tsunade shook her head, but looked curious, Jiraiya anticipated her question and answered it, "Kakashi had wanted to invite him."

 

Tsunade gave a happy grin, "Jiraiya, you are amazing..."

 

Jiraiya shrugged and laughed softly, "Not me... but I have two incredible partners that work hard to overcome the obstacles in their life."

 

\--------------------------------

 

_Iruka looked uneasy, he should talk to him about something... but he had no idea what to talk about.  This wasn't something he'd ever had to deal with before, he invited him but it seemed it may not have been a good idea, he had no experience dining with others... except his lovers._

 

Tsunade looked at Kakashi, he had a Genjutsu up so he could drink tea, he appeared to be sitting calmly with his mask up as he watched them, then she looked over at Iruka.  She could see Iruka was feeling a bit uncomfortable in this environment and included him in a conversation he was likely to have a lot of input on.  "I'm having problems finding a site to build the new academy on... any ideas, the council has shot down every suggested site I've come up with."

 

Iruka looked thoughtful, his tension eased as he considered possible locations,  "A bit closer to the training fields would be ideal... and a bit safer for the villagers.  The students aim when practicing... well dangerous does not even begin to describe the results!" 

 

_Kakashi was glad when Tsunade and Jiraiya included Iruka in their conversation, he didn't want Iruka to be anxious and he looked so relaxed and happy now.  Kakashi listened, but mostly he just enjoyed holding his lover's hand under the table... just being near him brought him so much happiness._

 

Tsunade and Jiraiya laughed, Iruka noticed Jiraiya held Kakashi's hand under the table stroking it with his thumb.  Kakashi looked a bit more comfortable now as well, the remainder of the meal was easy banter about the village and, while Kakashi did not join in the conversation, he seemed interested in the discussions.

 

_Kakashi was so glad his lovers were back, it didn't matter that they were in public he delighted in every look and touch of his beloved and soon Ibiki would be coming home then both his partners would be near, their love was everything he could ever wish for._

 

============================

 

After their meal Tsunade and Iruka returned to work, he'd given the netsuke to his friend and she'd loved it... and, to Jiraiya's surprise, actually admitted it.  There was no way you could not appreciate the fine details and see the hard work and love in its creation.  Iruka had raved about it and even Kakashi looked at it with fascination.

 

_Kakashi felt happy, his extraordinary beloved beside him as they walked.  Although he'd love to just go home and have sex with him, he wanted to get more comfortable in public so he could show his lovers how he felt about them even when in the village... maybe hold their hand.  "I want to go to the park with you."_

_Jiraiya looked down at him and smiled, "That sounds wonderful, my gorgeous Kitsune."_

_Kakashi tried to relax as they walked to the park, it was not easy, he felt like everyone was watching him.  He tried to ignore the feeling and studied how the other people behaved with their partners as they walked.  Once there, they sat in a now very familiar spot, the same place they always sat.  Kakashi was sure Jiraiya did it on purpose, giving him a 'familiar area' to help him relax.   He saw other couples holding hands and laughing as they tossed bread to the fish.  After a few minutes of looking out over the pond Kakashi looked over and very quietly commented, "Next time we'll bring bread for the Koi."_  

 

Jiraiya smiled, his Myobu was incredible!  Then his partner did something that made him very happy, his beloved shifted his hand over to lay beside his on the ground, the sides touching,  they remained like that a few moments then Kakashi's hand slipped up to cover his.  Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "You make me so happy my strong Myobu." 

 

Kakashi looked up although he still looked tense he softly asked, "I want to kiss you."

 

Jiraiya smiled, made the hand signs for a Genjutsu and brushed down his beloved's mask.  Kakashi shocked a low playful groan out of him by slipping up to straddle his lap, he stroked his face, then kissed him tenderly.

 

_Kakashi could feel Jiraiya's cock swollen beneath him, it was a very strong temptation.  "I want to go home... I need you."_

_Jiraiya nodded and kissed him softly, "I need you too Myobu."  As Kakashi's fingers feathered over his erection, he purred  "Mmm... my sensual Kitsune."_

_Kakashi laid his head against Jiraiya's chest, "I always make us leave."  It wasn't fair to his partner, other couples spent time together, went places together... but he didn't._

 

Jiraiya thought a moment then decided it would not distress his beloved, his finger traced the part of his ass and he teased, "We could stay here, but I think the house would be more appropriate for what I wish to do my enticing Kitsune."

 

Kakashi's eyes widened and he shivered, his voice now husky with desire he agreed, "Yes, we should go."  He lithely rose giving Jiraiya a very captivating view of his tempting length straining at the cloth of his pants and then his beloved whipped through the hand signs and was gone.

 

Jiraiya laughed, dismissed the jutsu as he rose and made the hand signs appearing in their living room, his nude and extremely seductive partner immediately molding his amazing body to his and bringing a groan of lust from Jiraiya, "Sexy Myobu."  He lead Kakashi to the bedroom and guided him to lay down on the bed.

 

_Kakashi's heart drummed in excitement as his lover encouraged him to lay on his stomach, and he watched Jiraiya strip baring his incredible cock... he wanted to feel him inside so much... but would he be afraid he'd hurt him?_

 

Jiraiya drew lube and coated his erection, watching Kakashi trembling in excitement.  Then lay down lightly covering his gorgeous partner, his swollen length resting along the part between his beloved's rounded ass cheeks.  Softly he rocked, his mouth teasing his lover's throat with little strokes of his tongue until he was whimpering in need.  Then purred in his ear, "Spread your legs my Kitsune."

 

_Kakashi did and gave a loud moan as the rub of his partner's cock grew firmer... was he going to trust him?!  Would Jiraiya really.... Kakashi gasped and gave a rapturous cry as his question was answered, slowly his beloved pressed into his body, although there was a small flash of pain as the head entered it only made him more ecstatic, his lover trusted him!  He hadn't had to beg, he was going to cover him like this!  Kakashi moaned breathless with desire as his partner's engorged flesh gradually filled his body.  "You feel so good!"_

_Jiraiya sucked on the tip of his ear causing Kakashi to cry out, but he panted hard and resisted cumming.  When his lover came to rest fully inside him, he rested a bit more weight on him.  This brought such strong pleasure Kakashi couldn't find the words to express it.  "Jiraiya I love you!"_

 

Jiraiya smiled tenderly, his beloved was 'enjoying' this immensely... "My beautiful Kitsune, your hot body feels so wonderful embracing my cock... you are my perfect Myobu.  I love to feel you trembling in ecstasy." 

 

Carefully he drew back slightly, then sank deep, then did it again as he listened to the exquisite sound of his lover giving rapturous cries.  As his partner's body loosened Jiraiya rocked his hips very slowly, each time coming to rest fully within his beloved's incredible body.  This was much deeper than he usually 'fucked' his partner, and he hadn't prepared him, but he trusted his lover and still offered, "What would you like my gorgeous one?"  

 

Kakashi moaned and very breathlessly replied, "This!  Just this!  Ah, Jiraiya, you feel so good!" 

 

Jiraiya smiled, his heart lighter.  He was right to trust in his beloved, his Myobu would not cause himself pain.  His lover's cries were growing fevered and Jiraiya drew back, tilted his hips and very slowly pushed in, rubbing a bit more firmly over his beloved's pleasure spot.

 

Kakashi howled, his muscles rippling and contracting hard as a intense wave of rapture swept through him and he came.    Then cried out again as his lover repeated the slow press, the overwhelming ecstasy continued until he lay breathless on the bed, his body sated.  It was wonderful!  Jiraiya didn't rise off him just remained on top, covering him lovingly while his engorged length rested inside his body.  "I like this... is it ok?"

 

Jiraiya kissed his lover's throat, he wasn't sure exactly what his beloved was asking; if it would upset Ibiki... if he was uncomfortable, or if this had made him uneasy.  He answered all three, "This is perfect.  Ibiki wants you to have everything you desire, I trust you Kitsune and I love the feel of your body enclosing my cock."

 

Kakashi sighed happily, he was completely relaxed, his face blissful, "Yes, this perfect..." he looked back at Jiraiya, "Thank you... I love you so much." 

 

His lover trusted him, trusted he would not let him hurt him even in a position Jiraiya would be anxious about.  Kakashi closed his eyes and just enjoyed this moment.  "I love the feel of you all the way in me, the feel of your body on mine."

 

After a moment he opened his eyes and glanced back, "I want to take you in my mouth."  Kakashi felt Jiraiya's cock give a little eager jump inside him at his words.[/i]

 

"I would love that my precious Myobu."  Jiraiya slowly withdrew he heard his lover's breath speed and knew it was teasing him.  Even as spent as he was his sexy partner's body wished to respond.  He gave a soft chuckle and kissed his shoulder as he withdrew completely then rose off his beloved.  Kakashi lithely rolled over and as Jiraiya laid back he slipped down to between his legs, stroking his balls.  Jiraiya moaned, his lover's hands were amazing!  More than release Jiraiya wanted to see the excitement on his partner's face and resisted his growing urge to cum.  "Tease me Myobu... make me desperate to feel your incredible mouth."

 

Kakashi looked delighted and nodded, his fingers now brushing chakra over Jiraiya's turgid length as he fondled his balls.  Jiraiya cried out in rapture and enjoyed watching his partner's excitement as the powerful waves of ecstasy flowed through him.  Then gave fevered moans as his Kitsune's wonderful mouth covered and teased his nipple with soft draws and flicks of his tongue.  Very quickly he was trembling at his need to cum... and at the extreme sensations of his lover's skilled touch on his engorged flesh.  He was aware his beloved was aroused again and when Kakashi begged, "I want to feel you as you cum... I want to fuck you." 

 

Jiraiya nodded eagerly, then groaned loudly as Kakashi asked, "Roll over."

 

Jiraiya hadn't been fucked like this in a very long time and just the idea made resisting his orgasm even more difficult.  He rolled over and gasped, "Fuck me Kitsune!"

 

_Kakashi hesitated then thrust in, he was always afraid he'd hurt him, but Jiraiya's cry was of delight.  Urgently he fucked him, tempted so greatly by his lover's moans that he was barely resisting cumming!  He attempted to do as Jiraiya had and thrust against his beloved's pleasure spot, he felt his lover's hips lift slightly then the astounding ecstasy as Jiraiya climaxed.  His partner cried out in rapture, his muscles drawing and contracting around Kakashi's swollen length.  He kept bucking into the tease even as he gave in to his powerful need to cum and he heard his lover's passionate cries, the glorious draw of his muscles milking him until they both lay exhausted on the bed_. 

 

"You are incredible, my beautiful Myobu." That had been astounding pleasure... and he did enjoy the feel of his enthralling lover relaxed on top of him, but after a few moments sighed, "We should shower before we go get Ibiki."  Kakashi nodded and rose off him, when Jiraiya rolled over he drew his beloved down to kiss him and playfully joked, "or maybe we should go like this and tease him..."

 

Kakashi's eyes widened then filled with happiness and amusement, "It would make him very aroused."

 

But neither was serious and, after a few moments of cuddling, they rose and showered.

 

\------------------------------------

 

[i] _As they walked into Ibiki's office he couldn't help but remember Jiraiya's words... the idea of his lover becoming aroused here was very exciting!  He wanted to hear his lover's moans and feel his cock in his mouth.  The walk home seemed like a very long wait... he could ask for them to transport, but his partners enjoyed walking through the village, it was part of their routine_.[/i]

 

Jiraiya smirked, he could see Kakashi's interest in Ibiki and his Koishii was very aware of it too.  Guess he'd teased his sensual Myobu with the idea of seeing their lover aroused.  Looked like they'd be transporting home.

 

Ibiki was intrigued, his Saiai was studying him intently... one part of him more than the rest and that part eagerly responded.   When Ibiki approached his partners his beloved's fingers brushed over his rapidly swelling cock, "Saiai..."  Ibiki groaned.  "You are so tempting!"

 

Kakashi's breathing was rapid giving away how excited he was at Ibiki's reaction, but neither of his partners expected what he said next.  Kakashi looked up from softly stroking his fingers over the rigid length and bluntly stated, "I want to take you in my mouth, here."

 

Jiraiya met Ibiki's eyes.  He didn't look disturbed, not really, mainly stunned and very conflicted.  Jiraiya was sure Kakashi hadn't even thought that this maybe something distressing to their partner, and that assumption was confirmed as Kakashi's eyes slipped away and he quietly said, "That was wrong, I shouldn't have asked for that."

 

**Ibiki was uncertain how he felt about the idea, but his lover's reaction made up his mind, he took his Saiai's hand and placed it on his now extremely aroused cock... his body was very much for the idea.  Ibiki nuzzled his beloved's throat, then placed a tender kiss on the sensitive area and heard his lover's breath catch them sped in excitement.  He was very grateful as Jiraiya provided a solution, "Your down stairs office would be a more comfortable place."**

**Ibiki nodded, he looked over and stroked his Koishii's face.  "I love you."**  

 

_Kakashi smiled as he watched them, his lovers were so extraordinary, the love in both his partner's eyes made everything perfect.  Jiraiya kissed Ibiki softly and placed a hand on his shoulder, then surprised Kakashi by drawing him close to his body and made the hand signs._

 

**As Jiraiya dropped his hand Ibiki just continued looking at him in surprise for a moment, he'd just transported all three of them... he just kept forgetting how powerful his gentle Koishii was!  Jiraiya smiled, his eyes full of amusement at having surprised them, then kissed Kakashi's temple and released him.**

 

Kakashi circled around to in front of Ibiki, stroking over his cloth covered erection.  Jiraiya saw a hint of uneasiness in his beloved's eyes again and nuzzled Ibiki's neck, "Can I hold you Koishii?"

 

Ibiki's eyes were full of love as he smiled and replied, "Yes."

 

Jiraiya cupped his body from behind kissing his neck and stroking his back as Kakashi sank down to before him and freed his cock.  Their partner looked up with joy and then placed a kiss on the flushed head that brought a groan from not only Ibiki but Jiraiya as well.  Their lover had no idea how incredibly  seductive he was! 

 

Ibiki felt Jiraiya flushed hard against his ass, but it brought no anxiety.  He was very aware of why his Koishii had wished to hold him like this, it was like the first time Kakashi had taken him in his throat, soothing and reassuring... protective.  Ibiki was surprised as he realized how much he loved that feeling; his lover wanting to protect him, it felt wonderful. 

 

He gasped, then moaned loudly as his skilled Saiai took his cock in his mouth stroking it with his tongue as he moved on it, his hands fondling his balls teasing him further.

 

_Kakashi moaned happily around his beloved's rigid length, he loved taking his partners in his mouth, tasting them and feeling their bodies react to his actions.  He was enjoying this so much!  His finger slipped behind his lover's balls brushing the tender strip of skin behind them, teasing the sensitive area... then realized where he was touching him.  He drew back and watched his beloved's eyes for anxiety, but Ibiki was not disturbed by his touching him there!  He felt strong relief and it gave him the courage to ask, "Can I take you in my throat?"_

 

Jiraiya felt the slight stiffening of Ibiki's muscles at their lover's question, it had caused a touch of anxiety, but he just remained massaging his back.  This was his beloved's decision and he would not encourage him.

 

Ibiki groaned, "Sexy Saiai... I would love you to."

 

Jiraiya smiled, he had been sure his Koishii would push aside his anxiety and let their lover give him pleasure... and he'd make sure it brought both his partners only pleasure.

 

**Kakashi looked so delighted that Ibiki knew he'd done the right thing, his Saiai enjoyed doing it... and Jiraiya would not let him hurt their lover, it was ok.**

**Eagerly Kakashi covered his cock again, teasing him with his mouth until he was urgently aroused.  He didn't even notice the soft presses of his Saiai's throat at first, but the rapture of his lover's throat accepting him into the tight heat was not something he could 'miss'.  Ibiki cried out, the slip back and continued tease quickly had him trembling at the intense pleasure.  Every time his beloved took him in his throat he ecstatically stroked his thighs and balls.  Ibiki was breathless, he was coming to a point where he would not be able to deny his need and he could feel the firm grasp Jiraiya had on his hips reassuring him.   His remaining worries disappeared and he welcomed the rapturous grasp of his Saiai's throat as he gave in to his orgasm, his cock jumping in the tight grasp.  His beloved drew back then immediately took him in his throat again, shocking a cry of ecstasy from him as his cock jumped again in the rapturous grasp.  Jiraiya's tender kisses and strokes of his tongue over his sensitive neck made every strong wave of pleasure even more powerful and he was grateful for his Koishii's firm grasp... his lovers were incredible!**

 

_Kakashi drew back releasing his beloved's sated flesh and watched the way their lover relaxed into Jiraiya's arms, his breathing rapid as he tried to catch his breath.  Kakashi smiled happily, together they'd brought Ibiki great pleasure!_

_It felt so good to know he could give his partners strong pleasure, he remembered how it had once been, he'd longed to give them as much pleasure as they gave him and hadn't known how... this made him so happy.  Kakashi rose and kissed Ibiki softly, then gave a low groan of delight as his lover wrapped his arms around him and deepened their kiss.  Jiraiya's hands cupped Kakashi's hips tenderly, the feel of his hands resting on him made the kiss even better, it felt like Jiraiya was involved, not being brushed aside._

When Ibiki broke the kiss he asked, "I want to feel you both hold me."

 

Jiraiya nuzzled his ear, "We would be glad to embrace you any time you wish."  'Hold' had bad connotations for his Koishii and this was not a good time to cause him stress, this needed to be a pleasant experience so his beloved could learn to relax and enjoy their partner taking him in his throat. 

 

Ibiki's muscles loosened in trust, "Yes, embrace me." 

 

_Kakashi snuggled against Ibiki, laying his head against his chest as he placed his hands on Jiraiya and they hugged their partner.   Ibiki smiled softly, "I love you both so much, I never imagined being so happy."_

_Kakashi nodded, "I feel the same way."_

_Jiraiya kissed Ibiki's shoulder and stroked Kakashi's back, "I will love you both always."_

_Kakashi felt deep contentment, this was worth fighting for and he'd never let anyone take him away from his lovers, no matter what it took he would always return to their arms._

 

\----------------------------------

 

Although Jiraiya was aroused he was not uncomfortably so, by the time Ibiki had cleaned up in the bathroom and they left the lower level his body was beginning to calm... for the first time in a very long time they may actually eat before enjoying each other's touches again... an amusing thought.

 

_They were all relaxed as they walked home, in his case it was not evident to anyone but his lovers but that's all that really mattered.  Kakashi even brushed fingers with both his partners a few times.  When they reached the very outskirts of the village where few people remained out at the 'late' hour, he looked at Ibiki then Jiraiya... he wanted to kiss them but he didn't think he could.  He subtly looked around, no one would see, probably... Would it hurt Jiraiya's feelings if he just kissed Ibiki?  Or Ibiki's if he just kissed Jiraiya_?

 

Jiraiya saw the slight tension in his Myobu's posture and shifted a bit closer to ask gently, "Is something wrong?"

 

Kakashi glanced up, then back at the road as he softly replied, "No... not wrong."

 

Ibiki looked surprised and happy as Kakashi took his hand for a few minutes, "Thank you Saiai."

 

Kakashi looked over at him, "I love you... both of you."

 

Then Jiraiya knew, "You want to kiss him?  You will not upset me..."

 

Kakashi looked up at him solemnly, "I want to kiss you both." His eyes returned to the road.

 

Ibiki gave him an reassuring smile, "Saiai, I would love if you kissed our partner, it would make me happy not upset."

 

_Kakashi looked at him, his gaze did not return to the road, he wanted to look to see if anyone was watching but did not as he stopped and after a moment drew down his mask, "Please kiss me."_

_Ibiki nodded, he gathered him close and kissed him tenderly, when he drew back Kakashi looked around a bit nervously but didn't draw up his mask and asked, "Jiraiya please kiss me."_

_Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "Gladly beautiful Kitsune."_

_His hand lightly cupped Kakashi's face and he gently kissed him.  When he drew back, Kakashi slipped his mask up and looked at Ibiki then Jiraiya.  "I like your kisses."_

_As they began walking again his fingers bushed both his partners... then the unpleasant memory of laying at the feet of his assailants and knowing he'd never feel his lovers touches ever again ended his indecision.  He slid his hands into his partners and remained holding them as they continued home._

 

Jiraiya was proud of his Myobu, but he knew why his beloved had been trying so hard and it brought a touch of sadness... he'd nearly died and they would never have felt his embrace again, or he theirs.

 

**Ibiki was glad when they got home he needed to hold his lovers, they both looked sad, he gathered Kakashi to his chest and reached out to draw Jiraiya forward to cup their partner between them Jiraiya and Ibiki stroked each other's back as they place soft kisses over their beloved's face and shoulders.**

 

Jiraiya loved his partners so much, Ibiki had known they needed this, it soothed them all and brought them peace.  When all had calmed they went in to make their evening meal, the night was a bit quieter than usual filled with tender adoring caresses.  That night Ibiki lay in their bed beside them as they relaxed to fall asleep, Jiraiya and Ibiki cupped Kakashi between them.

 

_Kakashi sighed happily, he felt so warm and loved enclosed by his partners, and he was quickly asleep_.

 

Ibiki and Jiraiya continued holding him until Ibiki grew tired, then he rose from the bed and all three men eventually slept.

 

\------------

 

**When he woke in the morning he saw Jiraiya still holding Kakashi and wondered how much sleep his Koishii had gotten.  His partner was watching their sleeping lover's face, he looked up somberly at Ibiki then tried to hide his anxiety... his Koishii could hide nothing, his honest eyes always told the truth**.

 

Kakashi opened his eyes and smiled at Jiraiya, "You held me all night?"

 

Jiraiya lightly teased, "I could not resist, my gorgeous Kitsune is too riveting for me to sleep."

 

His Myobu's smile faded, his eyes worried, "You did not sleep?"

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "I promise I slept, I just wanted to feel you in my arms all night."

 

Kakashi nodded, his expression relaxed again.

 

Technically Jiraiya told the truth, yes he'd slept... but not for long, he'd had a dream that his beloved had died and he hadn't found out until he returned to the village.  He vividly remembered the anguish in Tsunade's eyes as she told him, and along with his grief, he remembered trying unsuccessfully to comfort Ibiki... it was too tragic to fall asleep again. 

 

Jiraiya didn't want to let Kakashi go, but he made himself release him and both his partners got ready for work as he went out to start the tea and coffee, he needed a few minutes to try to bury the fear he knew his Koishii saw in his eyes.

 

====================

 

**Ibiki looked up, he was aware she was coming, and had a very good guess why.  If Tsunade dropped in, not called him to her office, it was something that concerned Jiraiya and not the village.  Upon entering she got right to the point,  "Jiraiya's very... uneasy, he was shaken by what happened with Kakashi."**

**Ibiki nodded, he could see the fear in his Koishii's eyes as he watched Kakashi walk out the door this morning.  He understood Jiraiya's fear, "Kakashi will be back from his mission very soon, I'm sure you know he followed him."  He'd noted it in his report and he was sure she'd read the morning patrol's report.**

**She nodded and gave a worried sigh, then replied, "He's not going to want either of you out of his sight.  Ibiki you need to keep Jiraiya... near, the next few days are a bad time for him."**

**Ibiki nodded, from the look in her eyes when she said it was a 'bad time' for him it was clear she was referring to the fact he lost his family very close to this day... and almost losing Kakashi so close to the date had not helped make the days any easier.  "Although it will not be easy, I promise, I will find some way to try to comfort him and I can take Kakashi off duty for a few days."**

**Tsunade shook her head, "You know he would not want you to, he knows how much Kakashi loves being ANBU, it will fill him with guilt."**

**Ibiki nodded, "I will talk to him about it... it's all I can do.  How are you?"  He knew she'd been one of the first to find Jiraiya's family and had to tell him.**

**"One of many of the worst days of my life."  She shook her head, "The sight was something I will never forget no matter how greatly I wish I could... no... No, I don't wish I could.  Jiraiya should not be the only one left with the memory of that Hell."  She sighed wearily, "Just talk to him... I'll try talking to him too."  She turned to leave, then paused and turned back, "Tell Jiraiya that while you both were gone Kakashi visited Junsei... it should bring him a bit of happiness."**

**Ibiki nodded and when she left rose and pulled the remaining patrol reports for the time while they were gone, he needed to read through them and now he could have 'a bit of happiness' from them as well.**  

 

\--------------------------------

 

_Kakashi glanced over at where Jiraiya stood and then he continued his mission.  Although he couldn't see him he knew he was there, still he focused on the mission and retrieved the information he'd been sent for_.[/i]   

 

Jiraiya felt guilty, he couldn't run out after him like a 'mother hen' every time he was on a mission and yet even as he chastised himself he couldn't make himself leave until he saw Kakashi had the document and had left the 'enemy' camp safely.

 

Jiraiya appeared back in the village, it would take his beloved a few more hours to get here.  Would he be angry?  Would he think he did not trust him?  Jiraiya shook his head and gave a weary sigh, he wouldn't blame him for being angry at his checking up on him like he was a Genin... but he couldn't bear seeing his Myobu badly hurt.  Too many times had his precious one nearly died, he just couldn't allow that even if it made his lover furious at him.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

_Kakashi placed the document on his Commander's desk and gave his verbal report.  Ibiki nodded, "You are on 'rest'."_

_Kakashi relaxed, he was not on duty anymore, his mission done he could wash and put on his regular uniform... but he still had to go to the missions office and see if Iruka had a mission for him._

_"Saiai."  Ibiki rose and hugged him, "Jiraiya's waiting outside, go home with him.  I will let Iruka know you need the day off."_

_Kakashi nodded, his words didn't make sense... why would he need the day off?  Still he was grateful to be able to go spend time with Jiraiya.  He kissed Ibiki, then swiftly walked out to turn in his equipment so he could go to be with their partner_.

 

\----------------------------

 

Jiraiya remained outside the ANBU building to wait for his Myobu, he couldn't go in and let his Koishii see how upset he was.  Kakashi came out and they started walking to the house together, Jiraiya didn't touch him although he desperately wished to.  Softly Jiraiya asked, "Are you angry at me?"

 

_Kakashi looked up at him then back at the street, he wished he wasn't in public, Jiraiya looked so very anxious.  He looked up again and tried not to notice anyone but his lover, even though he knew the market area was very busy, he stopped and embraced him, "I want to be home._ " 

 

Jiraiya made the hand signs and they appeared in the living room, now he made no effort to hold back his distress, but he only had a moment to feel it as Kakashi whipped off his mask and began kissing him passionately.  Jiraiya was stunned, then grateful.  His Myobu was not mad, and he'd saw how upset he was and embraced him in public.  He cradled his cherished lover to him and when Kakashi broke the kiss his eyes were dark with desire but his words were serious, "I could never be angry that you wish to make sure I'm ok."

 

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, "I don't want you to feel like I don't believe in you..."

 

_Kakashi lay his head against Jiraiya's chest, caressing his neck. "I know you believe in me.  I love you."  He wanted to explain, it was frustrating not being able to find the words to express his thoughts.  It was why, even now, the things he said were often blunt.  "I feel safe.  I want your love, I want you to care... "_

_Jiraiya stroked his face tenderly and confirmed, "You don't mind if I come to watch you."_

_Kakashi nodded, his partner knew what he was trying to say, he always did, it felt good that his lovers always understood.  Jiraiya hadn't come before, he would have known... he was very worried this time.  He wanted his partner to come to check if he was worried.  "I don't want you to be worried, I want you to come."_

_Jiraiya hugged him tightly, "I can't lose you Myobu, I couldn't bear the pain..."_

_Kakashi stroked his face then kissed him gently, "I love you."  He understood how Jiraiya felt, he couldn't bear to lose him or Ibiki either... he wanted to touch and hold their hands in public, to show that he loved them.  His partners deserved to be treated like he loved them, it probably looked like he didn't even care that they were beside him._ [/i]

 

"I want to go to the park with you."  Kakashi stated, looking up at him seriously.

 

Jiraiya nodded, going to the park often did not work out as well as they hoped but after the last time... it seemed he was becoming a bit more relaxed.

 

He was surprised when Kakashi put on only the shirt, pants and mask of his uniform.  He looked uneasy and Jiraiya resisted asking if he wished to put on his gloves, vest and hitai-ate.  As they walked out the door his Saiai was noticeably uncomfortable and Jiraiya guided them towards the least occupied routes. 

 

[i] _Kakashi wasn't sure he could do this, he wanted to but... everyone was looking at him now and he wished they could just go back home.  He needed to do this for his partners, he had to show them how much he loved them.  People who loved each other touched in public and held hands, they did not walk places not even looking at them.  He did wish to look at them, to touch their arms and hold their hands but he felt so distressed by people watching him when he was walking through the village.  He wasn't sure how to do like others, how to smile and forget the people all around him._ [/i]

 

Once there they sat and Kakashi sat stiffly, looking out over the pond.  Jiraiya smiled as his Myobu took his hand, then looked down at the sensitive skin, skin he never bared in public... so soft.  Coming here should be about getting to enjoy each other and the beauty around them.  Jiraiya placed a Genjutsu over them and his lover looked over at him in surprise, "You don't have to..."

 

"I want to."  Jiraiya drew his beloved over to straddle his lap and stroked him gently.  "You are so very precious to me." He drew down his Myobu's mask and placed kisses over his face.  "I don't want anyone intruding on my time with you, I just want to be able to hold you and feel you in my arms.  I just realized I don't want others watching, even in passing, I want us to be able to enjoy this place together, just us... is that ok?"

 

Kakashi smiled and lay against him.  "It's perfect."  He drew a deep breath relaxing, "It is nice here... I like this."

 

Jiraiya cupped his chin and kissed him, "Myobu, you do not have to come out without wearing the things that make you comfortable to show your love for me.  It doesn't matter if others know you love me, only that I know it, and I do."

 

"I want people to know."  Kakashi stroked his arm.

 

"Why?"  Jiraiya smiled tenderly, he was sure he knew the answer and it was one that had surfaced many times.  His beloved's problems, much like Ibiki's difficulties, had been a part of them for half their lives.

 

"I want to be... normal."  Kakashi's gaze swept over the other couples in the park then returned to him.

 

His lover's answer was just as he expected, Kakashi felt different all his life, first because his incredible talent even at a young age and also because of losing both parents.  Becoming an ANBU while still a child had helped isolate him, just as Ibiki becoming ANBU  Commander had further isolated him.  Jiraiya nuzzled his cherished Kitsune and replied, "I want you to just be you, relax, don't force things and do what you feel like doing.  In time it will become easier... you'll  just react naturally how you feel." 

 

Jiraiya lifted his soft hand and placed a kiss on the palm.  "And there is no such thing as normal.  You are you, I am me, Ibiki is himself... we don't need to act like anyone but who we are."

 

[i] _Kakashi laid a hand on his chest, "I want to touch you, but I don't want to tease you."  Touching his lovers made him feel secure, he didn't feel alone and knew his loneliness was over forever.  He had people to love him now._

_Jiraiya opened his shirt and lay Kakashi's hand on his bare skin, "Do not worry about that, touch me however you like, I love your touches... and if they become too arousing we can just leave."_

_Kakashi smiled, he hadn't thought of it like that, he'd worried about needing to stay as long as possible... coming here had been something he'd only found anxiety in, now without the pressure he was enjoying it.  They could leave whenever they liked, they did not have to try to stay._

_Kakashi shifted his hips closer, he could feel his lover flush hard beneath him and his own cock responded eagerly, but he just remained running his hands over Jiraiya's chest.  "I like feeling you."_

_Jiraiya nodded, his eyes held desire, but even greater than the desire they held love.  Kakashi stroked down his chest to his stomach but did not go any further down only lifted his hand and wrapped his arms around his beloved, hugging him.  The soft breeze and sound of the river, the feel of his lover... it was wonderful._

_After a few more minutes of sitting cuddled against him, the tease had grown too strong and Kakashi rocked his hips slightly, "I want to feel more of you... can we leave?"_

_Jiraiya smiled, "Whenever you wish Myobu."_

_Kakashi rose and they made the hand signs appearing in their living room.  Jiraiya gathered him close and kissed him, Kakashi gave a low whimper and rocked his hips at the temptation, he wanted to feel every part of his beloved against him.  Although his fingers feathered over his erection for a moment, they then lifted to his chest._

_Jiraiya softly purred, "What do you want my precious Kitsune?"_

 

Kakashi looked like he expected to be denied, "To feel you sink deep into me, I want to be covered... on my stomach."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "Yes my Kitsune."

 

Kakashi gave a happy smile and immediately began stripping.  Jiraiya was a bit amused at the fact his beloved always took 'yes' as right that very moment.  But most of all he was very aroused, his lover's behavior was incredibly seductive and his cock now throbbed eagerly, he nearly groaned as he freed the engorged length from the confinement of his pants.

 

He led his beloved to the bedroom and watched the agile body fluidly climb onto the bed and lay on his stomach looking so very tempting that this time Jiraiya did groan as he flushed harder.  He hissed softly as he coated his erection with lube and then covered his Myobu, lightly pressing against his tight entrance as his mouth teased passionate cries from his beloved with gentle nibbles over his neck.  Kakashi's body quickly loosened enough to let the turgid head in, he knew it gave his Myobu a flash of pain as he entered, but accepted that it excited his partner and tried not to dwell on it.  Jiraiya moaned, "Kitsune you feel wonderful."  After pausing a few moments to let his lover's body adjust, he slowly he sank in.

 

_Kakashi gave delighted cries at the incredible sensation of his lover filling his body, his beloved's cock sinking deep inside him felt so perfect.   By the time Jiraiya's erection rested flush Kakashi was shivering in ecstasy and trying not to cum.  Then Jiraiya rested some of his weight on him, just having his lover fully within him, his body covered by him was so arousing!  And the slow stroke of the hard flesh over his pleasure spot when he was already so aroused made it impossible to resist his need any longer, he gave a deep moan his passage contracting powerfully around his beloved's cock as he came_.

 

The contractions of his lover's muscles as he climaxed was a strong tease, but easy to resist when he could hear his beloved crying out in passion and trembling in rapture.   Jiraiya gently circled his hips hearing his seductive Myobu gasp and moan,  he gave soft delighted mews, then gave a louder moan as Jiraiya rocked his hips carefully.

 

_His lover was amazing... he felt so exquisite and every shift of his cock within him brought flashes of pleasure that quickly had him very aroused once more.  Jiraiya nuzzled his ear and sucked on the tip as he rocked slowly again_.

 

His partner's rapid breaths and delighted moans were better than any orgasm, he breathed warm soft breaths over his damp ear and flicked lightly over the center.  His Myobu was trembling in pleasure, his cries becoming urgent.  He circled his hips again an heard his beautiful lover cry out as he came again.  He was panting, the waves of ecstasy continuing to flow through him as Jiraiya began carefully fucking him.

 

His beloved's body was eagerly accepting him now, loose enough he would not hurt him.  Jiraiya cautiously drew back then, pressed deep, reassured his lover's body was ready he slowly began thrusting into him.  His Kitsune's rapturous howls excited him even more than the tight grasp of his body.  Jiraiya nuzzled his ear, "So sexy." 

 

As his partner reached his orgasm once more Jiraiya sank deep letting the hard spasms tease him and gave several soft bucks into the contracting passage, moaning as he filled his lover with his cum.  They lay enjoying the last surges of pleasure, their bodies finally sated and Kakashi gave a contented sigh.

 

Jiraiya smiled, his beloved's blissful expression was so wonderful and he was glad he was able to fill his needs... he hadn't trusted him for so long and his Myobu had just accepted that.  He loved him so greatly the thought of something happening...  No, he would not think of that, not now.  Jiraiya placed a gentle kiss on the back of his precious lover's neck, then slowly withdrew from the embrace of his partner's body. 

 

_Jiraiya lay on the bed and gathered him in his arms.  Kakashi softly stroked his cheek, Jiraiya looked so sad.  He wanted to say something to take away his sadness but he had no idea what to say.  "I love you Jiraiya."_

_Jiraiya smiled the sorrow replaced with adoration, "My cherished one, I love you always."_

_Kakashi snuggled against his lover and they remained lovingly holding each other until 'necessity' encouraged them to go shower_.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

**As his partners walked in Ibiki could see Jiraiya felt a bit better.  He was very aware why his beloved had not come in earlier and it had been difficult not to go out to him, but he knew his Koishii would feel guilty about 'taking him away from his job' to try to soothe him and only Kakashi could actually ease the distress he was feeling.**

**He locked up his paperwork and kissed his lovers, "We can go now."**

 

[i] _Kakashi nodded, he was dressed in his full uniform once more and as Ibiki opened his office door for them to walk out, he hid all emotion.  Inside he was conflicted, he wasn't sure how to act around Ibiki when they were in the ANBU building, but not in the office.  Was he supposed to remain 'professional', treat him like his commander?  He'd never wished to try expressing emotion in front of his peers before and he wasn't sure he could anyway, but if he could, how would the other ANBU feel about it?  He wasn't on duty, but would it be inappropriate?_

_As they walked towards the outer door he remained thinking about it and his eyes met Hebi's.  Hebi nodded and addressed Ibiki quietly, "I hope you and your partners have a good night sir."_

 

**Ibiki nodded, "Thank you."   Although not high priority missions, his dependable right hand man had volunteered to be there until the final mission log was turned in to secure them.  Having him to depend on made everything easier and his thanks was as much for that as for his farewell**.

 

_Kakashi met Hebi's eyes again and gave a slight nod, Hebi had addressed Jiraiya and him as Ibiki's partners... Ibiki wasn't his commander now, he could behave however he was comfortable without worry he was being out of line... he wished he could in some way show his love for his partners, but even here was too public to be something he was able to do._

_As they walked out the main door he brushed his fingers over Ibiki's hand but it was the best he could do at that time.  He'd wait, Jiraiya said it would become easier and he trusted him._

 

Jiraiya appreciated Hebi's subtle reassurance of Kakashi by addressing them as Ibiki's partners... Kakashi was slowly forming a friendship with Hebi... his beloved now had two besides his partners he was coming to trust.  Kakashi was learning how to interact, in time he would stop feeling so exposed and uneasy in public.  His discomfort stemmed from the feeling of being different and he was starting to see the similarities he had with others.

 

As they walked through the village Jiraiya noticed Kakashi looked over at them more, he seemed a bit more relaxed and noticeably seemed to be listening to Ibiki talking to them, even responding with a nod to questions.  When they reached the less populated section of the village he hesitated then slipped his hand into theirs.

 

**Ibiki smiled at his Saiai, "You make Jiraiya and I very happy."**

**Kakashi glanced over and softly replied, "I'm glad."**

**Ibiki had been thinking about Lady Tsunade's words but had still come up with no further idea on how to reassure Jiraiya, all he could was talk to him and support him.  He wasn't sure how to broach the subject, he was sure his Saiai had known Jiraiya was there and maybe even why.**

 

When they walked into the house Jiraiya gathered his partners close, he knew Ibiki had probably been worried about him all day.  He looked at both his wonderful lovers and gave a little sheepish smile, "I know I'm acting like a mother hen..."

 

"Not hen..." Kakashi looked thoughtful, then stated.  "Your hair reminds me of a lion's mane..."

 

**Ibiki smirked as his Saiai concluded, "You're our Lion... strong, calm, and fiercely protective."**

**Jiraiya groaned, "Did Tsunade tell you to call me that?"**

**Kakashi looked curiously at Jiraiya and shook his head, "Does she think so too?"**

**Ibiki couldn't wreak the close friends teases by telling them why they were called by the playful nicknames... that what seemed like a taunt was praise.  One day they'd tell each other.**

 

As they stripped to shower all three men were aroused and Jiraiya decided they could take care of that problem first.  Holding each other, while very loving, and feeling their lovers bodies against their own had been very tempting.

 

Once in the warm spray, Jiraiya wrapped a hand around his partner's cocks, stroking them as they moaned in delight.  Ibiki's hand joined his and, as Jiraiya's hand drew back, Kakashi joined hands with Ibiki.  The two men rocking into their joined hands, their erections rubbing and making them breathless at the ecstasy.  Jiraiya smiled, it was very arousing.

 

Jiraiya cupped his sexy Myobu from behind, rocking his hips and rubbing his swollen flesh against his firm ass, his lover's cries became fevered his thrusts faster and tempting Ibiki until he too was urgently aroused.

 

Jiraiya placed kisses slowly up his beloved's sensitive throat to his ear where he breathed soft warm breaths over the shell.  Kakashi trembled crying out loudly, then howling in rapture, his hips bucking as he reached his orgasm.

 

**Ibiki moaned teased as much by the sight of his lover's ecstasy and cries of passion as the divine sensations of their cocks rubbing and his climax immediately followed**.

 

_Ibiki released their sated lengths and Kakashi pressed back into Jiraiya's thrusts, the engorged flesh parting the rounded cheeks and brushing his entrance.  The sensation was incredible and in moments he reached a second orgasm, but as he felt Jiraiya's cock buck he wished he could have felt him give that firm buck inside of him_...

 

**Now that there needs were satisfied they washed each other, dried an went out to make their evening meal, Ibiki was involving them more now after seeing how they enjoyed cooking beside him.  This was how he wished every day could be, quietly enjoying the night with both his lovers, it was everything he could ever wish for**.

 

========================================

 

**The following morning, after Ibiki gave Kakashi his mission, he asked, "Saiai, please go see Jiraiya before you go."  He remembered how quiet Jiraiya had been that morning, although it was a short mission and not terribly difficult or dangerous,  he wanted to give their partner all the reassurance he could.   Kakashi nodded and when Ibiki released him made the hand signs and disappeared.  Ibiki was always stunned how easily he could do it, there were strong chakra blocks on the ANBU HQ he should not be able to do that... his Saiai was amazing.**

**Technically this should have been his lover's 'rest day' after his mission the day before, but Kakashi would be able to deliver the scroll in half the time it would take his other available ANBU and it was not a strenuous mission.**

 

\---------------------------------------

 

Jiraiya smiled as his beloved appeared, "Myobu, it is good to see you."  Jiraiya enclosed him in his arms and kissed Kakashi's temple.  "You are going on a long mission?" 

 

He was trying not to show his anxiety, but he was not successful.  Kakashi looked up and stroked his cheek, "No, I will be back quickly.  I just wanted to see you before I go... Ibiki's worried."

 

Jiraiya caressed his lover's back gently, "I will go see him after you leave."

 

Kakashi nodded and cuddled against him a moment longer then drew back, "I will return soon."

 

Jiraiya nodded and tried to fight the spike of panic that shot through him as his beloved made the hand signs and disappeared.  He'd go talk to Ibiki, reassure him... and find out where their lover's mission was, then he'd go watch his Myobu for a while.

 

==============================

 

**END OF CHAPTER 41**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL CHAPTERS ARE NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORY LINE...
> 
> 41: WHERE I WANT TO BE (EYES SET TO KILL)


	42. NO MORE SORROW (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 42)

**NO MORE SORROW (JIRAIYA'S LAST ANGEL PT 42)**

 

===============

 

**Jiraiya walked in and Ibiki rose to kiss him, "I love seeing you during the day Koishii."**

**Jiraiya smiled and caressed his cheek, "Kakashi said you were concerned."**

**Ibiki nodded.  Kakashi had just left on his mission and Ibiki was sure his Koishii was planning on going to watch, this wasn't healthy for him to think constantly about their partner getting hurt.  The way their lover had so easily transported from the ANBU building brought to mind a way he could help soothe his Koishii.  "Jiraiya come sit with me a few minutes."**

**Jiraiya nodded, but he looked over at the door before he came over and sat beside him.  Yes, they definitely needed to talk about what happened, Ibiki took his hand gently stroking the palm with his fingers as he looked in his beloved's eyes.   "I agree that Kakashi going on missions is difficult, but he is strong, you have to trust in him.  When the assassins took him, he didn't just lay helpless, he fought back against his attackers... very successfully."**

**Jiraiya did not look reassured and Ibiki didn't blame him, the death of his family was a horror that would haunt him for the rest of his life.  There was no way to change what happened in the past, they could only try to handle the future.**

**"You know he's extremely skilled... I don't think even he knows how very strong he is.  The gate guard's report states he 'emit a corona of chakra bright as the sun'.  At that great of a distance, to be seen, much less light up the sky... the chakra wave had to have been phenomenal.  The ANBU on patrol inside the village saw the bright light flare suddenly then disappear.  That tremendous discharge was what led them to Kakashi and his abductors... although no one had yet found out he was missing. "**

**Jiraiya nodded and acknowledged quietly, "He is strong."  He knew he couldn't just keep following his Myobu on every mission no matter how greatly he wished to.**

**Ibiki  agreed, "Very.  The massive retinal and nerve damage the medics found when they examined his attackers was unlike anything they'd ever seen before... Both men will have blindness for life."   Ibiki didn't add that the three would-be assassin would probably not live a long life anyway.  He was sure Jiraiya knew that, and with Tsunade 'involved' it was certain the council elders would decide that 'putting them to death' would send the right message to others intending to commit an act of aggression on a member of the Leaf village.**

**Ibiki looked in his beloved's worried eyes, "Train him, that is what you can do.  Teach him and make him even stronger, that is something you can do Koishii... by doing this you are protecting him.  He's resourceful and highly skilled, and with you sparing with him he gets even more skilled day by day.  We can only do so much."**

**Jiraiya gave a slightly sad smile, "I know."**

**Ibiki kissed him softly, then offered the other bit of information Tsunade had told him, it was sure to bring his lover pleasure.  "While we were gone Kakashi went to see Junsei, he visited her in ANBU  uniform so she'd recognize him and he let her 'pet' him again."**

**Jiraiya was surprised, "Kakashi visited her?"**

**Ibiki nodded, Jiraiya smiled, his eyes filled with joy, "It's a healthy step, forming connections to people in the village... he is starting to feel like a part of it and not watching from the outside.  He could bear her touch, he's getting less uncomfortable about the intimacy of a touch... at least from a very small child.  I am proud of him."**

**Ibiki smiled, "He is a remarkable man."**

**Jiraiya rose, "I will let you get back to work... perhaps I'll go visit Tsunade."**

**Ibiki nodded, "Kakashi will be back soon and I will be ready at the usual time, we will walk home together."**

 

Jiraiya smiled and kissed him then walked out the door, as he walked through the village he thought about the bit of good news his Koishii had told him, it was a good distraction from his urge to follow Kakashi.  The fact that it was known that Kakashi allowed her touch meant that a person had stayed in the room, and yet he'd still allowed Junsei's touch. 

 

Knowing someone had been in the room with his Myobu and the toddler and he'd accepted her touch made him wonder what would have happened if they had been left alone... would he have held her again?  There was no way of knowing.

 

\---------------------

 

Kakashi knew it was alarming to others when he did it, but he had a photographic memory about locations and performed a transportation Jutsu to travel the last part of the trip to deliver the scroll.  He wanted to get back to Jiraiya and spend time with him.

 

\-----------------------

 

Jiraiya decided it would be best that he not go see his friend, he was not hiding his anxiety well and he didn't want her to worry about him.   He sat at his desk with the notes he'd taken to write his next novel but he just couldn't concentrate and was putting them away as he felt the familiar and surprising presence of his Myobu. 

 

_Jiraiya smiled and crossed to him looking delighted to see him, he embraced him and massaged his back.  Kakashi knew that his partner was very happy to see him, but also that the stroke down his back was his lover checking his chakra to see if he'd over exerted himself.  He didn't mind and snuggled happily into his touch... when he'd returned and reported to Ibiki he'd expressed the same concern.  But they both could see he was ok, he had not over taxed himself, it had just been that easy to complete the mission._

_Jiraiya kissed him softly, "I heard you went to visit Junsei while we were gone."_

_Kakashi stroked his beloved's chest then slipped a hand beneath to rest against his heart and replied, "She likes the cat doll."_

_Jiraiya smiled, cupping his hand to his chest, "The white cat, like you, I hear it is her 'precious treasure' and she always has it with her."_

_Kakashi looked up and smiled, "She set it down... when she saw me she set it down and came over to me... I felt... special."_

_Jiraiya hugged him and kissed his temple, "I'm glad she was able to give you that while we were gone, you are very special."_

_Kakashi slipped his hand from his lover's shirt and stated, "I want to spar."_

_He hoped Jiraiya would want to.  They hadn't sparred in a while, with all that had been going on it had been pushed aside, he loved sparing with his partners and he missed it. The mission had been very easy and Jiraiya was anxious about him going on missions so he could use the work out to relieve stress... not that sparring with him was a great work out for his lover, but it was fun for them both._

_"Are you sure?" Jiraiya stroked his back lightly. "You just came back from a mission."_

_Kakashi nodded, "It was not a hard mission and I miss sparring with you."_

Jiraiya thought about what Ibiki said, _'this is how you can protect him'._ "Yes Myobu, let's go spar."  His beautiful lover looked delighted, he needed to do this with his cherished Kitsune much more often.

 

Jiraiya changed clothes and they walked to the ANBU building.  As they walked through the village  Kakashi looked more relaxed than he'd ever seen him in a public place.  He didn't hold his hand but he walked closer and occasionally brushed his fingers against his hand.  The gesture was very reassuring, he would train his beloved make him so strong he could fight back no matter what the situation was... Ibiki had said he had fought back, he'd taken out his attackers himself... but he'd still been too injured to return to Leaf.  He'd make him even stronger, his Myobu had great untapped potential.

 

==========

 

Once in the training room Jiraiya swore to himself he would take this seriously, Kakashi could be a serious challenge to him some day if they kept training.  He would keep training his beloved until he could beat him in a sparring match!

_Jiraiya's 'attacks' were a bit more serious now and Kakashi felt a thrill as he evaded the skilled blows and took the offensive. Before he spared with his lovers it had been so frustrating, no one had been willing to spar with him, now he had two men that challenged him, it was fantastic!_

_Suddenly Jiraiya 'took him off his feet' with an unexpected move.  Although he partly blocked it; the force of the blow propelled him back and, as he hit the floor, he rolled and sprang back to his feet and took a defensive stance.  Jiraiya gestured ending the training and walked over to him, gathered him in his arms and kissed him._

_Kakashi was worried Jiraiya would be upset that he gotten hurt, but his kisses were loving not distressed.  And although he rubbed at the shoulder he'd struck, it was a massage, the steady pulse of Chakra slowly relaxing the area.  It really wasn't anything, a few areas beside his shoulder would also be a bit sore, but nothing that would impair him on a mission and he truly believed any good sparring match should leave a few sore areas_ **.**

Jiraiya knew his beloved would be bruised, but not badly enough that he'd need healing, even if his partner would allow it.  _Even_ though he hurt his precious lover, he could not be anything but proud.  His Kitsune had immediately recovered his feet and had been ready to continue sparring... not many men would, being hit hard enough to throw them back nearly the entire length of the training room would've shook them.  "Strong Myobu... I love you."

 

Kakashi smiled, then his cheeks tinted slightly, "I'd like to go to the bath house."

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh and teased, "Oh really..." then the humor faded and only love remained, "I think that's a wonderful idea."  It was mid day, no one would be using it and he could massage his beloved as he sat in the hot water, that would lessen any bruising and relax him... well, maybe not exactly 'relax' they'd definitely have sex.... 

 

The two men went to the bay shower to wash the sweat from their bodies, Jiraiya cupped his partner from behind and nibbled Kakashi's throat lightly. His beloved gasped and shivered in pleasure laying back against him and tilting his throat to allow Jiraiya's mouth to tease him as his cock flushed hard and eager for his touch.

 

**Kakashi's lips were parted in rapid excited breaths and soft cries of delight.  Jiraiya wrapped his hand around his engorged cock slowly stroking it as his mouth moved up towards his sensitive ear.  His lover's moans growing more passionate as his body quivered at the tease.  Jiraiya cupped his balls and rested his thumb at the base of his erection.  This earned a very excited whimper and as he teased the head of his cock with his other hand his partner's cries grew fevered.  Soon his body was arched into his touch as he gave loud breathless cries.  Jiraiya's mouth reaching his cherished Myobu's ear brought several hard bucks and louder moans of ecstasy and need.  He flicked his tongue in his beloved's ear canal and lifted his thumb stroking him quickly, he howled in rapture thrusting rapidly as he was allowed release.**

**Jiraiya held his panting lover as he calmed and regained his breath.**

**Kakashi looked up, "I love when you do that."**

**Jiraiya smiled and kissed his temple, "I love hearing your cries."**

**"I want to take you in my mouth."  Kakashi stated hopefully.**

**Jiraiya nodded and released his beautiful partner watching the sensual man turn with desire in his eyes, it amazed him and filled him with joy that even when sated his beloved wanted him.**

_Kakashi kissed his way down Jiraiya's body pausing to tease his nipples before continuing down, as he slipped down he kissed and licked the silky skin of his lover's pelvis, Jiraiya moaned and his cock gave a soft jump. This brought a desire to taste him that could not be denied any longer.  He took the head in his mouth and sucked, stroking his tongue over the flushed tip then teasing the hole with soft probes and laps of his tongue, Jiraiya gasped and gave an ecstatic cry.  After teasing the tender flesh for a few moments he released it licking from the head down to the base and sucking on the shaft as his lover's cries grew louder.  He wanted to taste him so much!  Kakashi covered the length dropping down and taking as much as he could in his mouth, caressing it with delighted strokes of his mouth over his tempting erection... he wanted to learn to take him in his throat but Jiraiya didn't want him to._

Jiraiya stroked his cheek, he knew his Kitsune wanted to be allowed to try to take him in his throat, in this he must trust as well. 

_At his soft caress Kakashi drew back releasing his cock and looked up, seeing the acceptance and love in his partner's gaze.  A spike of excitement swept through him as Jiraiya gave a little nod, he was allowing him to do as he longing to... to try learning to take him in his throat!_

_Delightedly he covered the swollen length again, now he did not need to be careful not to allow his lover's cock to press against the entrance to his throat and just that brought a thrill.  He was ecstatic at feeling his beloved's arousal push lightly against it with every bob... the way he'd not been allowed since learning to take Ibiki in his throat.  He listened to the urgent moans of his lover, the freedom to do this was wonderful.  He was not ready for trying to take him all the way in his throat, it may take months but he knew eventually he could do it._

_The soft strokes of Jiraiya's hand on his head were accepting and he felt his throat loosen a bit more with every light press until it was growing deeper each time.  When the head of Jiraiya's cock slipped in Kakashi felt the jump of his leg muscles as he resisted bucking.  His fevered moan was so glorious! He paused, his hand fondling his lover's balls, then drew back and again pressed forward taking the large head in his throat.  Jiraiya was trembling, his cries urgent as, Kakashi drew back to just the tip.  He flicked his tongue over the needy flesh, then slid down to take the engorged head in his throat again_.

 

Jiraiya was trembling at the intense pleasure, he wasn't sure how much longer he could resist cumming!  Even past his fevered lust he felt his wonderful lover cup his balls, feeling them tighten as Jiraiya trembled harder in desire.  Then he drew back, releasing his erection and stroking as Jiraiya howled in rapture at his orgasm.  He gasped loudly as Kakashi took the head of his cock in his mouth for the last gentle buck then slipped down to take it in his throat again as the last spasms of his orgasm swept through him, he gave a ecstatic cry at the tight grasp around the tingling flesh.

 

_Kakashi drew back releasing his lover's cock and rising, Jiraiya gathered him close and kissed him passionately._

_It had brought him great pleasure to feel his lover's cock like that and hear his cries... maybe next time he could try taking the head of his cock in his throat for the last soft jet of cum._

_"You are amazing!"  Jiraiya embraced him firmly placing kisses over his face._

_Kakashi closed his eyes and gave a happy sigh.  Then looked up, "Thank you for allowing me to do this, I love feeling you."_

_Jiraiya smiled and stroked his cheek, "I am glad to give you something you enjoy Myobu...", then teased, "Especially when you look so sexy doing it."_

_Kakashi caressed his chest tenderly then stated,  "We should wash."_

_Jiraiya chucked, "Yes, I suppose so._ "

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

_After getting washed, the two men walked to the bath house, Jiraiya cast a Genjutsu over the door just as he always did and they began to strip.  Kakashi watched his partner undress, his eyes slipping down to his cock, even when not aroused the length was impressive.  He loved taking it in his mouth, but most of all he wished to feel him inside..._

 

Jiraiya looked over and laughed, his beautiful lover was looking at him with desire, and he had not gotten very far in his undressing.  His cock flushed at his partner's intent gaze and he teased, "How am I going to be able to feel my sensual Myobu if he is wearing all those clothes?"

 

Kakashi mewed as Jiraiya began aiding in the removal of his clothes, shivering in pleasure at every brush of his fingers.  Once bared and ready he didn't even pause as he followed Jiraiya to the hot springs,  as they sat in the water Jiraiya feathered his fingers over his enticing lover's nipples, teasing them to gathered peaks that were further stimulated by the soft current of the water.

 

Jiraiya swore his beloved was the most seductive man he'd ever met, no one excited him so quickly!  His  needy mews and pants... the way his lithe body writhed in pleasure... Jiraiya's cock was now very engorged and it was going to be a strong tease but he nuzzled his lover's ear, "I want to feel your sexy body on me." 

 

_Kakashi gave a delighted cry and straddled his hips as Jiraiya continued teasing his nipples and brushing his fingers over his pelvis.  He was so aroused he was shivering, he positioned the big swollen length, groaning and stroking over the tempting flesh before slowly sinking down and taking it into his unprepared body.  It felt so wonderful he panted at the rapture of the hard cock filling him and by the time he rested at the base Jiraiya was nearly as breathless as he, "Can I rock?"_

_"Yes, my gorgeous Kitsune, tease me until I'm begging for you, until every rise and fall makes me cry out..." Jiraiya purred._

_Kakashi whimpered, "Jiraiya!"_

_Jiraiya chuckled softly, cupped his face and kissed him.  "Yes Myobu, rock."_

_Kakashi wantonly rocked, arching in so every slow thrust rubbed his turgid length against his partner's taut abs until he was so fevered he gasped breaths between cries of ecstasy.  He took and brought Jiraiya's hand to his cock.  "Please don't let me cum_."

 

Jiraiya nodded his thumb resting at the base he drew his provocative lover close and nibbled his throat up to his ear but paused, his hot breath feathering over the sensitive shell, "No matter how greatly it teases me Myobu, I will gladly do so."

 

Jiraiya thrust gently into his rocks and embraced his lover to him teasing his throat and brushing around his filled entrance.  Kakashi bucked urgently howling in pleasure, his beloved was enjoying this greatly, he would give him one last tease before allowing his release.

 

 

Jiraiya lifted him to stand on the edge, of the pool, "Don't cum yet Myobu."  Kakashi nodded, whimpering at the effort to resist as Jiraiya rose out of the water and placed a Genjutsu around them.  "Let me taste you my amazing Kitsune." He knelt before his trembling lover and licked his cock from the shaft to the head before dropping down to the base.  He listened to his beloved's howls as he pushed a  finger into him, sending chakra waves over his prostate as the sensual man keened in rapture, bucking into the welcome of his throat until too sated to cum.  Jiraiya slipped his finger out and released his gratified length, then rose to cradle his Myobu to him.

 

Kakashi lay against him panting at the intensity of his orgasm.  Then looked up at Jiraiya and smiled, "Looks like I was the one that was teased until desperate."

 

Jiraiya kissed his temple, and rocked his turgid cock against him, "You still can hear my urgent cries for you my incredible Kitsune.  Tease me." 

 

Kakashi looked delighted, his hand enclosed and drew on his cock as he sent a soft hum of chakra playing over the tender flesh tracing the head and sending a strong pulse down inside. 

 

His beloved had no idea how often he was reduced to desperation by him and their partner, the intensity of pleasure his lovers brought him was made all the more tempting by the knowledge they loved him and wanted to give him all the pleasure they could. 

 

Kakashi sank to his knees sucking Jiraiya's balls as his finger pressed into the hot grasp of his ass, teasing him the way he'd just teased his enthralling beloved with the astounding pleasure of Chakra strokes over the walls of his passage and pulses that flowed deep inside.  His lover drew back to watch him his bi-colored gaze was on Jiraiya's face, his eyes dark with desire.  The sensations of both his finger and mouth had left Jiraiya breathless with ecstasy and, as his partner's hand cupped his balls fondled them softly, Jiraiya was trembling at the strength of his need.

 

Kakashi released him and slipped his finger out, he was aroused again and begged, "I want to fuck you can we..."

 

Jiraiya grasped him, his throbbing cock pressed to his captivating lover was an even greater tease as he made the hand signs.  Now in the bedroom Jiraiya lay on the bed and drew his legs up to bent.  His Myobu was thrilled by getting to tease him, he would wait to cum, let his beloved tease him all he desired.

"I want to feel you around me as you cum!"  Kakashi pleaded.

 

Jiraiya groaned at the tease of his words and the feel of his beloved thrusting into him and fucking him rapidly had Jiraiya howling in rapture in seconds.

 

Both men were now fevered with need and fucked urgently until Kakashi gasped, "Please cum with me!"

 

Jiraiya tilted his hips and cried out in ecstasy, the rapid hard contractions teasing his beloved to fevered thrust until he howled in rapture as he came.

 

Both men were exhausted, they lay embraced a few minutes and Jiraiya kissed the tip of his ear, "You feel good inside me."

 

Kakashi sighed, "I love you."

 

When they rose, Jiraiya slipped on pants and urged, "Go start the shower I'll get our clothes and be right back."

 

Kakashi nodded and Jiraiya made the hand signs, his gorgeous beloved was getting very good at teasing him to desperate need.  He gathered their clothes lifted the Genjutsu over the door and made the hand signs to return.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

Ibiki heard the shower when he walked into the house and stripped to join his lovers, as he walked in he was surprised to only see his Saiai, but he knew Jiraiya was somewhere near... he also noticed his beloved had several deep purple bruises marking his pristine ivory skin.  As Kakashi turned to look at him and smiled, Ibiki's eyes rested on the very large bruise on his shoulder, but he only walked up and gathered his lover gently in his arms and kissed him.  "You and Jiraiya sparred."

 

Kakashi nodded, his eyes growing worried, "I'm not hurt."

 

Ibiki nuzzled him and his beloved's breath caught sharply at the pleasure, Ibiki murmured softly in his ear, "I know, Jiraiya would not injure you and I'm glad you and he sparred."  In spite of the bruises he knew if his Koishii had believed he'd injured him he'd have talked their beloved into being healed.  "So where is Jiraiya?" 

 

Kakashi blushed slightly, "We got very excited and left our clothes at the bath house."

 

Ibiki gave a soft laugh, "I see."

 

Kakashi had remained with his sensual body pressed against him, he'd been erect since he'd nuzzled his Saiai and heard his delighted gasp... Ibiki's fingers feathered over his lover's nipples.  Kakashi shivered in pleasure and began licking and lightly kissing the scars covering his chest.  Ibiki groaned giving a soft buck against his enthralling partner, Kakashi's eyes filled with excitement his hand enclosed Ibiki's cock and caressing it, "I want to take you in my mouth."

 

Ibiki gave another soft playful groan, "I could never resist an offer like that Saiai."

 

_Kakashi immediately kissed his way down Ibiki's body as he sank down to his knees and eagerly licked and sucked his partner's swollen length, then took it in his mouth as his fingers fondled and sent waves of chakra flowing over his balls.  Ibiki closed his eyes crying out at the ecstasy_.  

 

\--------------------

 

Upon arriving in their home, Jiraiya immediately heard deep moans of pleasure and smiled, his Koishii had gotten home early.  Walking into the shower he saw Ibiki crying out in pleasure as Kakashi sucked his cock.  His lovers were so incredibly sexy!  He joined them, cupping his Koishii lightly from behind and stroking softly over his ass as he placed teasing kisses over the scarred expanse of his back and neck.

 

[b] **Ibiki groaned as his Koishii joined in on Kakashi's efforts to drive him mad with pleasure.  Kakashi was now stroking his aching length and fondling his balls, with the added temptation of his Koishii's touch the pleasure was so strong his orgasm swept through him.  He moaned in gratification and his Saiai continued stroking him until he gave another cry and a last hard buck.**

**They embraced him lightly between them and kissed his shoulders and chest for a few moments then began washing him.  How on earth did he get so blessed to have two such extraordinary partners?**

  

====================

 

_Jiraiya had started sparring with him more now,  Ibiki too and with every time he sparred with his lover's he learned so much!  He now was able to judge when it was best to evade instead of block Ibiki's strikes and even acquired many of their moves, although they were not as effective being used against the one who was experienced in the move.  Best of all Jiraiya's anxiety slowly lessened, it helped that the day of his families death had passed without anything distressing happening._

_Kakashi had drawn a long mission, he was a bit worried about taking this mission.  It was not ANBU, it was S Class... but that wasn't what he was uneasy about.  He'd be gone several days, he didn't like leaving his lovers and the mission would be escort of a dignitary.  Those missions were always longer than estimated due to the over indulged men's insistence on their comfort being the most important thing._

_He was all ready to go, he'd said goodbye to Jiraiya and Ibiki but there was still something he had to do before he could go.  Kakashi looked at Hebi, he wasn't comfortable expressing emotion but this was an emotion he wanted to express very much.  He needed to be sure they were safe, "My partners... I want... Will you please protect them... I need them."_

_Hebi's eyes were full of understanding and sincerely he replied, "This time I will not fail, nothing will happen to them, I will always do everything within my power to keep them safe... and you as well._

_Kakashi felt uncertain what to say, but realized Hebi was ANBU, his brief words would be understood.  "You did not fail me and I know you will not fail them."  Hebi didn't fail to protect him, Kakashi knew he'd been careless, exhausted, he hadn't been aware of his surroundings... no matter how skilled, everyone made mistakes, it was why he wanted Hebi to watch over his lovers._

_It wasn't until just then that Kakashi realized, Hebi was alone... just as he and Ibiki had been before...  "Thank you."_

_Kakashi went to meet his peer at the gate, the man they were to guard had insisted on having two escort and since he was paying well, Tsunade was for the idea.  Genma would be going on the mission as well... he wished it was Asuma, Genma talked too much._

 

\-------------------

 

Jiraiya walked into his friends office and sat on the window sill, he gave her an affectionate smile.  "You didn't have to send another Jounin."

 

Tsunade wasn't surprised that Jiraiya knew that the mission had not called for two nin, that she'd convinced the man to pay for two to be 'assured of his safety'.

 

Jiraiya reassured, "I have been training with him, I am confident he can handle any threat."  And his Myobu had been doing ANBU missions as well.

 

Tsunade frowned, "You are not the only one he scared the hell out of, and I haven't been training him.  Give me a break, I'm tired of saving you and Kakashi's lives."

 

Jiraiya smiled at her sarcasm, but his eyes were full of understanding, "We have caused you so much stress."

 

She shrugged dismissively; but they both knew, from the time he returned to watch Mikomi and fell in love with Ibiki, he'd brought chaos to her life.  Tsunade looked intently at him, "Don't you even start that, having you stay has relieved even more... I have a drinking buddy, someone to talk to about all the crap I deal with every day.  Having you here has been a blessing... not that you heard that from me."

 

Shizune walked in with a stack of papers and caught the last of Tsunade's words, she looked at Jiraiya, "Well you did hear it from me, she needs you..." she looked at Tsunade and teased, "She's been much more productive since you came to live here."  Although said as a tease Jiraiya could see she was sincere in her words that he was valued.

 

Jiraiya smiled, he was thankful for them both, "Well I suppose I should get out of here and let her be 'productive'."

 

Tsunade feigned a scowl, "Sure, just abandon me to the mounds of papers that will soon come crashing down around me."

 

Jiraiya laughed and teased, "Better learn that Fire Jutsu quickly."

 

She snorted, "Would serve them right if I did."

 

Jiraiya waved and went out to visit his Koishii at work, then he'd do some writing until it was time to go walk home with him.

 

\------------------------------------------

 

[b] **Ibiki smiled as his beloved walked in, then rose to kiss him.  "I love seeing you during the day."**

**Jiraiya caressed his back, "I'm glad, I love visiting."**

**Ibiki remembered  how happy it had made his Koishii to 'see him for lunch', and there was something he wished to try.  "I'm free for lunch."**

**Jiraiya's lips curved as he playfully inquired, "Oh really, and what do you wish to have for lunch?"**

**He took Jiraiya's hand brushing it over his swollen cock and watching his lover's eyes darken with desire, then returned the tease smoothly, "I'm sure I'll think of something."**

**Jiraiya stroked his face, "May I transport with you?"**

**Ibiki nodded, he didn't normally do that because it seemed like he was flaunting a 'rule' but the truth was that it was not actually a rule... transporting out of the ANBU building was an impossibility, or so it was thought until his partners proved him wrong.**

 

Jiraiya cupped him to his body, delighting in the feel of his lover's hard flesh pressed against him as he made the signs.  When they appeared in the bedroom he started kissing his way down Ibiki's body as he stripped his clothes.  Ibiki groaned in pleasure, his cock eagerly responded to the temptation flushing harder.  When Jiraiya had bared him, his partner surprised him as he did the same, and paused to suck the head of Jiraiya's arousal.

 

**His Koishii moaned, "Everything you do feels so good!"**

**Ibiki was aware his beloved was still careful with his words, but he was growing more comfortable and less things made him uneasy.  Still he was grateful for his lover's caution...  although his words were not very likely to be distressing, Ibiki was growing very uneasy at the thought of what he was going  to try.  He wanted to do this, he wanted to be free to do anything without hesitation, Jiraiya often laid on top of him as he fucked his Koishii... he could do this...  "Jiraiya, I want you to cover me."** [/b]

 

Jiraiya nodded, he could see this was something more than Ibiki wanting to fuck him, his Koishii looked nervous and it was then that he guessed what his beloved wished to try.  It was a big step, with his fear of being pinned, but he would support him in his attempt.

 

"I want you... in me."  Ibiki asked quietly.

 

Although his Koishii had hesitated, Jiraiya could see he still wished to try.  He lay down atop his beloved watching to see how he was doing on accepting it with the knowledge that he would have someone inside him.  Jiraiya placed loving kisses over his face, and lay still his erection pressed to his lover's letting his beloved get used to the fact he was aroused. 

 

**Ibiki drew a deep breath, Jiraiya's eyes held acceptance, he was not going to tell him it was not a good idea or tell him to say stop if it became too distressing.  His Koishii was trusting him to tell him if it was too much... trusted him to know if this was something he could do... believed in him that he could do it... yes, he wanted this.**

 

The anxiety in his lover's dark eyes had not lessened, but they were not uncertain any more, his Koishii wished to do it.  Jiraiya rocked his hips, the swollen length of his cock rubbing against his partner's brought a delighted moan.  Ibiki's legs slipped up to bent, but Jiraiya remained rocking against his erection, teasing him.

 

**The slow thrust of his lover's hips was the same as when he moved inside him... memories of the strong pleasure of feeling his Koishii's cock stroking the inside of his body tempted him.  When Jiraiya shifted down a bit to rub the head of his erection over his rim it only brought a bit of nervousness, nothing unmanageable.    Jiraiya pressed gently, then went back to rocking, now rubbing his cock over his entrance with every long stroke.**

**When his Koishii pressed again, his muscles gave slightly and Ibiki felt a touch of the pleasure he could receive if he could accept his beloved inside.  Jiraiya went back to rocking and after a few moments pressed again.  Ibiki's hands cupped his ass encouraging him and the press grew firmer.**

 

Jiraiya could feel the powerful waves of ecstasy as the ring of muscles parted and accepted his cock, but his focus was on his Koishii.  Ibiki was quiet,  he didn't look frightened just... waiting, his hands rested lightly on his ass.  As Jiraiya's rigid length slowly slipped in his beloved gave a deep moan his hands once more clasping his ass encouraging him.

 

**It felt amazing!  The steadily stroke of his lover's cock over his rim and into his body was incredible!  When Jiraiya was fully within him, his Koishii kissed him tenderly, a kiss Ibiki turned passionate.  He'd never thought that it could feel different being covered, but it did and it felt wonderful!**

 

**Jiraiya carefully circled his hips and Ibiki had to break the kiss to cry out at the intense pleasure, but it only got better as his lover slowly slipped back a bit and then slid in once more, Ibiki moaned, "Koishii!  You feel so good!"**

 

His Koishii was enjoying this, all his hesitation had fled!  His beloved's breathless words of powerful arousal brought Jiraiya more pleasure than anything sexual ever could.  He loved his brave Koishii so much!  Jiraiya was filled with joy, his hips slowly rocking, his cock teasing his lover's body until Ibiki was steadily moaning. 

 

**Gradually his lover's strokes grew faster and the pleasure built until Ibiki cried out in rapture as he came, grasping his Koishii tightly as his body contracted and drew on his partner's engorged length.**

**Ibiki caressed his lover as he caught his breath, "You didn't cum."**

**His Koishii always placed he and Kakashi's needs above his own, it was a bit disturbing even if he understood why his beloved was doing it this time.**  

 

Jiraiya shook his head placing kisses over his face.  "Not like this... not yet.   I just want you to feel pleasure Koishii."  Cumming would frighten his beloved, the buck and feel of his cum would bring terrible memories in this position. 

 

This had went so well and the pleasure of an orgasm was not worth frightening his lover.  In time they would reach the point where it would bring some anxiety, but not fear.   He wanted this memory to be about the ecstasy he'd felt in this position.

 

[b] **Ibiki kissed his lover tenderly, then groaned as Jiraiya carefully circled his hips, "Koishii!"**

**His partner's cock teased his pleasure spot with slow rocks and circles until Ibiki was very aroused once more.**

**As Jiraiya began slowly moving within him Ibiki moaned, "Oh, you feel good like this!"**

 

His Koishii's hands cupped his ass encouraging him to move faster, his beloved's body matched his so perfectly and Jiraiya didn't have to worry his weight was crushing his lover beneath him.  Jiraiya gasped as his beloved began bucking into his thrusts, and dipped his head to tease the sensitive expanse of his throat panting soft breaths over the damp flesh. 

 

**Ibiki could feel the tremble of his lover, the pleasure he was giving him and urged, "Cum with me please Koishii."  The sounds of his beloved's ecstasy brought a deeper pleasure to the wonderful sensations sweeping through him, and he wanted to hear his partner's cries of rapture as he reached his climax even if it brought him fear**.

 

"Anything you desire my extraordinary Koishii."  Jiraiya tilted his hips, his cock stroking firmly over his beloved's pleasure spot and felt Ibiki arch into his thrust crying out in rapture as he reached a powerful orgasm.  His partner's cries sounded so exquisite and Jiraiya continued rocking against the area hearing his lover's ecstasy peak as he teased out his climax.  Then he pressed deep and remained as his hips gave a soft buck, his orgasm bringing a rapturous cry.

 

**Ibiki felt a spike of powerful distress, but focused on his lover, stroking over his body and feeling the familiar body beneath his hands kept him focused on the present.  He did not regret asking his Koishii to cum, hearing him moan in ecstasy brought Ibiki a deep satisfaction.**

 

Jiraiya kissed him, he didn't ask if it frightened him, they both knew it had, but it was what his beloved wanted and he wouldn't deny any step his partner truly wished to take.

 

Ibiki lovingly caressed him, "You are so sexy, I love hearing you cry out in pleasure."

 

Jiraiya smiled, "You amaze me more with every day that passes."  His Koishii was an extraordinary man and he loved both his lovers so deeply, they were the center of his world.

 

As Jiraiya withdrew he placed kisses over his beloved's chest.  Ibiki groaned and teased, "If I wasn't so spent that I could not become aroused you'd already have me half hard again!"

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "I can't help wanting to touch and kiss my enticing lover."  His beloved's body really was spectacular, every scar did not take away from the 'perfection' of it.  Every scar represented his courage and loyalty, his Koishii was so very exceptional, he overcame things that would have destroyed most men.  Day by day he took back all the freedom that the Rain nin had taken from him.

 

They rose from the bed and went in to shower,   Jiraiya delighting in the firm body and flex of Ibiki's muscles as his soap slick hands stroked over his lover.  Ibiki groaned in pleasure and Jiraiya kissed him, "You are so tempting... I love touching you."

 

**Ibiki kissed him and began washing his beloved, feeling the way his breathing sped at his touch, his desire evident even if his cock had not grown erect once more, the feel of his lover's arousal was slowly bringing a response from his sated length.  No one was more seductive than his partners, even when sated the temptation of their bodies made his own eager to respond**.

 

The intent of their touches had rapidly changed to teasing caresses of desire, it was to be expected, giving their lover pleasure and hearing them cry out in passion was one of the most wonderful ways to express their deep love.

 

Very soon his Koishii was erect again.  Jiraiya's hand wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking only the lower half, as his finger traced around his partner's entrance.  He felt it loosen, welcoming his finger into the hot grasp... Jiraiya stroked slow and deep as his lover's body heated with need.  Then drew them out and slipped two in gently thrusting into the depths as his sexy Koishii cried out and rocked back into his fingers. 

 

He began slowly teasing his beloved's throat and upper chest as Ibiki's moans grew increasingly fevered.  Then sank his fingers deep and stroked his cock faster, his hand now caressing the entire length, while sending strong pulses up into his lover's core.  He felt joy as he listened to his partner's cries of rapture and he felt his cock jump repeatedly in his grasp, his Koishii finally arching into his touch and giving a last loud moan as he thrust up a final time fully satisfying his powerful desire.

 

**Ibiki embraced him as the last waves of pleasure swept through him and he felt his lover's teasing touch slip out of his body.  He wanted to give his beloved intense pleasure like he gave him, to see him crying out in rapturous howls.  "I want to take you in my throat."**

**Jiraiya kissed him, "That sounds wonderful Koishii."**

**Ibiki kissed his way down Jiraiya's body, teasing his nipples with soft draws and flicking the gathered peaks with his tongue before continuing down to the silky skin of his pelvis.  He remained there for a moment, listening to his lover's deep moans.  Then slowly licked up the shaft to just below the head teasing the sensitive area with flicks of his tongue.  When his mouth covered the turgid length of his beloved's erection,  he paused once more enjoying his partner's cries and linking them to his actions,  focusing on finding ways to bring louder breathless cries from his Koishii.**

**As he began taking the hard flesh into his throat, he could not deny it made his heart race and it brought mild flashes of fear, but he refused to let that prevent him from giving his lover all the rapture he wanted so badly to give him.  When he felt the jump of his partner's cock in his throat as Jiraiya came, his muscles flexed at his desire to yank away... but his lover's hands did not cup his head.   This was his beloved, he wanted to feel him cum and know it was bringing him rapture as Jiraiya did so often for him.  He sucked on the softening length as he slowly drew back, then release his partner's gratified flesh and rose to kiss him.**

 

Jiraiya knew it had frightened his Koishii and his answering kiss was one of reassurance and love not passion, he needed to help his beloved remember this was not the same as those in his past.  When Ibiki broke the kiss he stroked Jiraiya's face, "I love you."

 

Jiraiya closed his eyes in pleasure as his precious Koishii kissed his throat softly, then kissed his lips again before they parted, this time washing themselves or they'd never get out of the shower.  

 

\---------------------

 

After their shower Ibiki returned to work for a bit and Jiraiya sat down to write... it was very easy to do so with the memories of his Koishii moaning, his muscles flexing as he gave into the rapture and came... so sexy!

 

=====================

 

_Kakashi couldn't wait to see his lovers, the mission seemed to have taken forever and yet he knew it had only been a week.  Genma hadn't ceased yammering about inconsequential things the entire time, he didn't need a response or any encouragement... in fact even the obvious disinterest Kakashi showed had not altered his peer's behavior._

_The dignitary had briefly been a source of annoyance as well, displaying interest in him that Kakashi put a halt to with the quiet comment, 'When placed in a choke hold it only takes 2 minutes to die.'_

_In truth it could take up to 4 minutes with a carotid choke hold, but he'd never had anyone last longer than 2 minutes.  Complete compression of both the carotid arteries was a very fast, easy and quiet way to remove a threat._

_As Kakashi filled out the mission report he subtly studied Iruka, there was no other nin in the mission office at this time of day and he found it almost relaxing to watch Iruka quietly filling out paperwork and filing it._

_He'd thought many times about how Hebi was alone... he knew how it felt to be completely cut off... a shadow drifting through the village, an outsider..._

_Kakashi had never gotten involved in other's lives but somehow he knew that the two men should meet.  Hebi was ANBU, only ANBU... he'd been raised since early childhood in Root and when Root was disbanded, he'd been one of the first ANBU in the new organization, he'd never had a 'normal' life.  In many ways he and Hebi were very similar, and the isolation Hebi still lived ... now Kakashi knew it didn't have to be that way.  Iruka was a good person and even if Hebi had only him as a friend he wouldn't be so isolated from the rest of the nin._

_As Kakashi turned in his report he looked seriously at Iruka, then nodded, he was sure.  "I want you to meet someone... he is like me._ "

 

Iruka smiled, "I would love to meet him."  _'He is like me...'_   He wondered what Kakashi meant but did not press for information,  _'like him'_... alone?  Quiet?  Well no matter what way they were similar, he liked Kakashi and if he thought they should meet he was sure it would be someone who he could get along with...  meet him... he already knew all the nin, so he wasn't a nin?  But if the man was _'Like him'_... as in he was ANBU... well then it was possible he'd ever actually met him...  "Just let me know where and when you'd like me to meet him."

 

Kakashi nodded, Iruka took the report and smiled, "Have a good day off."

 

Kakashi softly replied, "Thank you... I will."

 

As he walked out Iruka returned to his paperwork but his mind dwelled on the way Kakashi had 'relaxed' since Jiraiya came into he and Ibiki's lives.  Jiraiya was very good for him, he hoped one day he'd find someone that brought him the same kind of deep love they shared.

 

\-----------------------

 

_Kakashi decided to drop in and see Ibiki before going home and spending time with Jiraiya... he wished Ibiki could come home too but soon he'd be off and he and Jiraiya would walk up to the ANBU building so they could all walk home together_.

 

**Ibiki rose as his beloved walked in, he hadn't been on an ANBU mission, this was a visit from his _lover_ not one of his men and Ibiki gladly gathered his Saiai close kissing him tenderly.  Kakashi looked up his eyes full of love and sighed softly, "I missed that and everything else while I was away...  I probably will not get many escort missions now."**

**Ibiki looked curiously at him and he elaborated, "I threatened to kill the dignitary."**

**Ibiki nodded calmly and teased, "And not Genma?"**

**He had no doubt the man had done something to earn his lover's words, Kakashi did not speak to anyone unless he had something that needed to be said, even then it was brief and to the point.**

**Kakashi shook his head his eyes held humor but he replied 'seriously', "I was tempted, but I thought of all the paperwork you would have to do if I did."**

**Ibiki was delighted, he loved when his Saiai 'teased him back'.  "I appreciate you thinking of me."**

**Kakashi cuddled into his chest and replied honestly, "Every moment I was gone, you and Jiraiya were always in my thoughts."**

**Ibiki cupped his chin drawing him into a kiss and answered, "Jiraiya and I thought of you every moment as well."**

**Kakashi's body had taken the contact as an invitation and his Saiai was flushed hard against him,  Ibiki feathered his fingers over his erection.  "So tempting."**

 

_Kakashi gave a soft gasp and rocked into his touch, it had been days since he'd felt his lover's bodies against his, he wanted Ibiki so much... but he was keeping his beloved from his work.  Then all thought of resisting his desire fled as Ibiki nuzzled his ear and purred, "I want to take you in my mouth."_

_He trembled in excitement, yes the offer of sex was wonderful but it was the fact his lover wished to take him in his mouth that made it impossible to even think of denying!  "Yes!"_

_He hesitated a moment, they could not do that here... "Can we go down to your old office?"_

_Ibiki nodded, and teased softly, "Will you strip so I can touch all of you my sensual Saiai?"_

_Kakashi eagerly nodded, turned and leaned back against him and made the hand signs so they appeared in Ibiki's former office._

 

**Ibiki was stunned, "You amaze me."  His lover had easily transported with him!  Yes it wasn't a great distance but it was in a building that was made to deny any transporting!**

**Kakashi turned and stroked his chest, his eyes now worried, "Is it ok that I brought you with me?  I'm getting better at managing my chakra since I started training with you and Jiraiya."**

**This was not the time to dwell on that, his beloved was very aroused, "Yes Saiai, it is ok.  Now let me see my sexy lover's bare body."**

**He started stripping away Kakashi's clothes, kissing and licking at his sensitive skin.  This was more than just the desire to feel his beloved, he didn't want anything to... go wrong.  This way he would be very aroused and it would be easier not to let anything cause him anxiety.**

**Ibiki groaned at the sight as he removed his beloved's pants, sinking down to lick his tempting erection as he drew them off.    He remained down before him, his partner's deeply loving eyes watching him.  Ibiki enclosed the head of his cock and teased it with flutters of his tongue as his lover cried out in passion, the sounds were so erotic, and extremely arousing!  Ibiki slipped down to the base and drew back, then began steadily stroking his Saiai's sensitive length with his mouth and listening to his gasps and breathless moans every time he'd take him in his throat.**

**His heart was hammering, but he was not willing to let his fear stop him, he would take his beloved in his throat as he came... the thought sent a spike of panic through him but he remained determined, his Saiai deserved the same trust as his Koishii.  He cupped his lover's hips trying to accept the fear**.

 

_Kakashi cried out, trembling as he grew desperate to cum, Ibiki wasn't drawing back... no he could not cum in his mouth!  He would not frighten him like that. He took Ibiki's hand and pushed it down to cup his balls, hoping his partner would understand_.

 

**His Saiai did not want to cum in his throat... Ibiki cupped his amazing lover's balls and as they tightened he drew back and enclosed his beloved's cock in his hand, stroking him as he bucked into his hand, arched and cried out as he climaxed.  Although the sight brought a touch of anxiety Ibiki reminded himself that his Saiai had not wished him to take him in his throat, he hadn't wanted to buck into his throat as he came... this wasn't what he'd ever do in his mouth.**

**Ibiki enclosed the tip in his mouth, circling his tongue on the over sensitive head and teased a last jet of cum from his beloved...  then kissed his wonderful lover's body as he rose, then cradled his face and kissed him tenderly,  "I love you, my Saiai."**  

 

_Kakashi reached down to touch his partner's engorged length then dropped his hand, "I teased you."_

_Ibiki gave a soft laugh, "You are so sexy that I'm nearly always aroused when I'm near you.  Let's go shower Saiai."_

_Kakashi nodded and as he watched his beloved strip he longed to feel him inside... this was not the time, he'd wait... although his body was already trying to respond at the sight.  Ibiki turned on the shower and drew him into the spray.  Kakashi could feel his lover's turgid length pressed to him and when Ibiki turned him and embraced him from behind his cock quickly responded.  For a moment he hoped, but he knew his partner would not push into him_.

 

**Ibiki pushed his aching flesh between his lover's thighs, rocking into the pleasure as his hand enclosed and stroked his beloved's cock.  He had felt the eager shiver his Saiai had gave, he had wanted to feel him inside... that sounded fantastic, but he couldn't, not like this.**

**With the dual stimulation of Ibiki's hand on his cock and his thrusts rubbing his balls it took very little time for his lover to reach his orgasm and when he tightened his thighs Ibiki cried out in pleasure bucking as he sated his strong need.**

**Ibiki remained cupping him, tenderly caressing his beloved's chest for a few more minutes then they washed and dressed.**

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Once in his office again, Ibiki kissed him, "I will see you in a few hours."**

**Kakashi stroked his cheek nodded and walked out, just a bit longer then he could go home with his amazing partners**.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Walking in the door felt so good... this was home, here he was loved and happy.  As Jiraiya rose, walked over and drew him into his arms he was in bliss.  The only thing that could make this better was feeling Ibiki's arms too.

 

Then his wish came true as Ibiki appeared and enclosed him from behind, this was more than he'd ever dreamt of having, this was nirvana right here in his lovers arms.

 

**Hebi had came to visit him after Kakashi left and 'reminded him' that no missions were currently underway, and nothing essential was happening in the village.  That all his men could easily find him if anything pertinent came up... and that he'd be there... in other words he said go home and spend time with his lovers.**

 

Jiraiya smiled, he was sure Hebi had some involvement in this, Jiraiya's smile faded slightly.  Hebi was still feeling guilty about Kakashi getting abducted.  The whole time Kakashi had been gone, Hebi had checked in on him, and he was sure Ibiki had seen him near more often as well.  It was not his fault, sometimes things just happened, life was like a river unpredictable and chaotic at times.

 

_Kakashi looked up, Jiraiya looked a bit sad for a moment then smiled at him and nuzzled his throat, "I think we are all wearing too much clothes."_

_Kakashi eagerly nodded, his partners released him and they went to the bedroom._

 

As they stripped Kakashi's eyes rested on Ibiki's cock then slipped over to Jiraiya's, there was longing in his eyes.  Although he hesitated to ask, it was very clear he wanted to feel them without being prepared.

 

 Jiraiya smiled as he saw Ibiki sit on the bed, stroke lube over his erection then cup Kakashi's hips and draw him back over his lap.  Allowing their seductive lover to slowly drop down on his cock to the base.

 

Kakashi moaned, his eyes closed in ecstasy and his tempting lips parted in rapid breaths.   His Myobu was so enticing that Jiraiya softly groaned his cock giving a very 'interested' jump and flushing harder.

 

**Here he could do what his Saiai had longed for... He'd never felt anything like this, in this position the pleasure of the tight hold slowly enclosing his turgid flesh in the heated grasp was nearly overwhelming!  His lover's body wrapped around his cock, stroking him as he sank very deep in his beloved's tight body.  Just as Jiraiya had done he embraced their slender partner tightly and Jiraiya delightedly took their lover's erection in his mouth, smoothly dropping to the base as Kakashi  howled at the strong pleasure and feel of Ibiki within him**.

 

_He was struggling not to give in to his strong need, knowing how this would tease Ibiki, his body tightening around his cock... Jiraiya took him in his throat and he tried to writhe at the rapture.  As his skilled partner continued working his arousal in and out of the astounding pleasure,  he didn't think he could resist cumming any longer.  Jiraiya drew back, releasing his throbbing cock to the cooler air of the room, his thumb rested pressed at the base as he blew over the aching length.  The sensation of the warm breath caressing his swollen flesh was exquisite!  Ibiki's fevered cries grew louder, teasing Kakashi's urgent need, Jiraiya sucked on the flushed head then lifted his thumb and dropped to the base.  Kakashi howled in rapture his body contracting repeatedly around the rigid flesh with in him as his orgasm swept through him, then Ibiki started giving soft bucks, breathless with powerful waves of ecstasy Kakashi cried out as he was teased through multiple orgasms. His muscles rippling around the glorious feel of him._

 

**When Ibiki's arms loosened Kakashi lifted slightly, arching as Ibiki moaned loudly and gave in to the rapturous hold of his lover's contracting body.  Every buck up bringing softer contractions of his Saiai's the wonderful hot passage until he was completely sated.  Kakashi sank fully to the base and rested against him blissfully.  Ibiki loved him so much, his beloved had lifted so he wouldn't feel distress bucking into him as he came, his Saiai was amazing.**

 

Jiraiya drew back and smiled he loved watching his captivating lovers fevered with passion, and he caressed them as they relaxed and tried to catch their breath.  Then Kakashi looked over at Jiraiya's erection with longing, he was not surprised when his Myobu's gaze met his then dropped to his cock again.  His beloved was not aroused, at least not yet, but this need was more than the astounding rapture of sex, it was a connection and reassurance of love.  "Yes Myobu." 

 

Kakashi rose off Ibiki and kissed him passionately, then heard Kakashi give a soft whimper after they broke their kiss as Ibiki's finger brushed gently over his rim.  "So sexy, I want to see your body wrapped around Jiraiya's cock Saiai."

 

Jiraiya was more than happy to fulfill his Koishii's desire, he lay on his back and Kakashi slipped up to lay on top of him, his legs parted to straddle his body.  Jiraiya just lightly stroked his beloved and trusted him as he allowed his seductive Kitsune to press slowly down on his erection.  His Myobu placed kisses over his chest and gave a delighted cry as the wide head slipped into his slick passage. 

 

_Slowly he dropped as he watched Jiraiya's face, he was worried he would have upset him but Jiraiya rocked his hips slightly and Kakashi relaxed, moaning at the ecstasy of feeling his lover's big cock sinking in.  It brought deep satisfaction as well as pleasure, he'd longed for this intimate connection with his partners the whole time he was gone_.

 

**Ibiki watched, he couldn't help but think the sight should have brought him anxiety but it didn't, he trusted his lovers and seeing his beloved's slender body spread wide around Jiraiya's cock was arousing!  Ibiki took the bottle of lube dampened  two fingers and brushed the slick digits around his Saiai's rim.  Listening to both his lovers cry out in delight.**

**His Koishii very slowly rocked into their partner's body, soon the two men had reached a point where they were so aroused they cried out breathless with ecstasy with every thrust.  Gradually Jiraiya rocked faster and Kakashi rose to seated.  Then Jiraiya took Ibiki's hand and placed it on their lover's pelvis, he understood and gladly joined in teasing his partners.   With his hand pressed lightly on his Saiai's pelvis every smooth rub brought his lovers powerful waves of pleasure.... and as Kakashi's body tightened in an orgasm both his partners cried out in rapture.  Jiraiya gave a small buck then a firmer one as he completely sated his need.**

 

Jiraiya looked over at his Koishii and noted his beloved was aroused... he laughed, he suspected he would be if encouraged to touch their sensual lover as he fucked him, with the way this was going they'd probably  be having a very late evening meal!

 

 

==============================

 

Kakashi had a day off after returning from the escort mission and after Ibiki left to work Jiraiya asked, 

"I want to go see Junsei, see how she's doing, would you like to come with Myobu?"

 

Kakashi nodded, "I need to be in my ANBU uniform."

 

Jiraiya smiled affectionately and nodded, he'd only planned to look in on her but his beloved was willing to go in and visit with her and he wanted her to remember him.  _'I felt... special.'_

He was thankful for the small child's gesture of affection to his Myobu while they were gone and this was a good sign.  Kakashi was wanting to interact with her, she would be the first villager he would have a strong connection with.

 

\-----------------------------

 

_When they walked into the ANBU building, Jiraiya went in to sit with Ibiki while he got in uniform._

_After he got in uniform, as he walked back up to go with Jiraiya, he saw Hebi.  It was strange to voluntarily go talk to someone, but he didn't want him to be alone like he was for so many years._

_"I want you to meet someone... Iruka... he is a good person."  Kakashi was unfamiliar with trying to have a 'casual' conversation and was grateful when Hebi didn't require an explanation._

Hebi nodded, "I would like to meet him, I believe he is a very wonderful man from the reports I've read on him and I have seen him in the market place a few times."  Since he was a single man he did not have much shopping to do but he had watched the friendly nin talking to the villagers. 

 

As a school teacher he held a very important job, molding the next generation into strong Shinobi and instilling the values they would need to be happy in their lives, he seemed to be doing a exceptional job.

_Kakashi nodded, then continued up to Ibiki's office where Jiraiya waited._

\------------------------------

 

_As they walked in, Junsei smiled in delight, carefully set her cat doll down and went to Kakashi.  The experienced nurse slipped out of the room leaving the two men with the sweet little girl._

_Kakashi crouched down to her level.  She stood before him and gently pet him, "Ki, Ki."  But then her small hands grasped the ANBU mask._

_He stiffened slightly as she lifted his mask, he was afraid it would upset her, but the toddler did not even seem disturbed as she pushed the ANBU mask off and stroked his hair, "Ki, Ki."_

_Kakashi's silk mask remained but she did not try to remove it, to his surprise she hugged him 'tight' and pet his hair again, "Ki, Ki."_

_His tension seeped away, she had seen he was nervous and tried to comfort him like she had when he was holding her and had said he was afraid._

 

Junsei released him went over to her cat doll and brought it over to offer to Kakashi.  Jiraiya smiled, she was very adorable... and he was certain she was empathetic to some degree, she may have a lenient talent that would surface as she grew, there was no telling if her mother's family like had a Kekkei Genkai.

 

_Kakashi took the cat doll a moment, then handed it back and Junsei smiled._

_It made him feel good, she liked him even without the ANBU mask and she had shared her precious cat doll with him.  Kakashi watched her, then stroked her cheek, "Take care of him... I will protect you."_

_Kakashi rose and Junsei happily hugged the cat doll as he put on his ANBU mask.  Then Jiraiya stepped out, returned with the caregiver and they started from the room._

_"Ba... Ki, Ki."_

_Jiraiya and Kakashi looked at her in surprise, then Jiraiya and the nurse laughed.  Junsei had learned a new word, 'bye'._

_Kakashi glanced at the nurse but then softly replied, "Bye Junsei."  before he and Jiraiya left._

 

_Junsei would be going to live with her new family soon, she would be ok.  He would be near and just as he'd promised, he'd protect her._

 

"She's a wonderful child..."  Jiraiya commented, Kakashi nodded, he was quiet, but that was not unusual... especially since he was still in his ANBU uniform.   That precious child charmed everyone around her, even Tsunade which never really liked children much was seen walking around the hospital with the little girl in her arms.

 

Jiraiya knew his Myobu was still thinking about how he felt at her touch.  "Her new family decided not to change her name, she will remain 'Junsei'."

 

Very softly Kakashi answered, "I'm glad." 

 

_She was special, he would watch over her, no one would ever hurt her._

_The two men walked back to the ANBU building, Kakashi had to put away his uniform and then they'd see if Ibiki was ready to walk home._

 

===============

 

**END OF CHAPTER 42**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL CHAPTERS ARE NAMED AFTER ROCK SONGS FROM BANDS I LISTEN TO THAT IN SOMEWAY TIE INTO THE CHAPTER STORY LINE...
> 
> 42: NO MORE SORROW (LINKIN PARK)


	43. NEVER HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter

CHAPTER 43: NEVER HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE

 

MORNING:

 

Jiraiya smiled, Ibiki did not need to go in quite yet and Kakashi would not be too late to the missions office, he'd apologize to Iruka later... this would bring his Koishii a deep happiness and besides being extremely 'entertaining' it would make his Myobu feel included in something he could see was special to both Ibiki and himself.... this time he'd make it a bit different, something that would be special for them all.

 

Jiraiya had cut the cold fruit into sections and set it on the tray to bring his lovers a unique 'breakfast in bed', he also included two other interesting things... warm chocolate syrup and a bowl of chipped ice.

As Jiraiya walked back into the bedroom he found his lover's cuddled together in bed, both his partner's looked over at the smell of the cut fruit and he could see Kakashi's 'interest' as his cock immediately flushed hard.  Jiraiya set the tray down on the table beside the bed, sat down beside Kakashi and selected a piece of melon.

 

Then rubbed his selection slowly over Kakashi's taut abs... Ibiki groaned at the tease and their sexy lover hissed and then moaned deeply in surprise and delight as Ibiki's warm mouth followed the cold trail.... 

Jiraiya smirked slightly and caressed his beautiful Kitsune's pelvis softly, distracted by the caress Kakashi didn't notice that he had dipped his finger in the warm chocolate syrup.... as Ibiki drew back Jiraiya's finger traced the warm chocolate in swirls up Kakashi's chest... circling his nipples.  Then popped a ice chip in his mouth and licked a cold trail up the sticky path and around Kakashi's now tightly budded nipples... Kakashi mewed softly, then gasped as Jiraiya's cold mouth closed over one of his nipples drawing on it  then flicking it with his icy tongue.

 

As Jiraiya's mouth heated the sensations became more intense... Kakashi bowed up into Jiraiya's mouth panting.  In moments Ibiki and Jiraiya had their sensual partner writhing in ecstasy, Ibiki had begun to 'paint' the hollows of their slender lover's hips with a strawberry and thoroughly lick the area clean.  Kakashi trembled at the tease and Ibiki smirked as he pinned his Saiai's hip lightly and placed a ice chip in his mouth before taking his beloved's turgid cock in his mouth, stroking his cold tongue over the swollen head.  Kakashi howled his cock straining for the stimulation and when Ibiki released it from his mouth his cock jumped hard as he reached a powerful climax.

 

Jiraiya gave a little laugh, ""I think some retaliation is in order..."  His panting lover nodded and  drew him down to kiss him.  Ibiki shocked a gasp from Jiraiya as he selected another cold slice of fruit and traced it down Jiraiya's spine to his tail bone, his warm mouth following the path with flicks of his tongue that had Jiraiya trembling and moaning into their kiss.  Then he had to break their kiss to cry out at the warm brush of a sticky chocolate coated finger tracing spirals over the cheeks of his ass, followed by soft sucks and teasing strokes of his Koishii's tongue. 

 

Kakashi shivered in excitement at the sounds his lover's were making, his cock quickly responding and he rocked his hips rubbing his erection against Jiraiya's.

 

Jiraiya gasped and gave a fevered cry as Ibiki took an ice chip in his mouth and began teasing his rim with his cold tongue.  His lover's had quite effectively turned the table on him!  "Koishii!"  Jiraiya gasped, then moaned deeply. 

 

Ibiki laughed, "I think I like the new additions to the fruit tray."  

 

All three men were very aroused now  and Kakashi gave an excited nod, kissed Jiraiya, then bluntly stated, "I want to feel you inside me."

 

Jiraiya slipped up to seated and he drew Kakashi up to straddle his lap facing away.  His sexy Myobu's cries had him desperately aroused, but he would not do anything to ever cause him pain and as aroused as they all were it would be best of he prepared his beloved well.

 

He teased Kakashi's rim until he was panting at the depth of his need, then pressed his finger into the tight hold of his lover's ass, nibbling his throat and making him squirm eagerly.  Kakashi's muscles flexed hard around the thick digit then loosened in acceptance.  Now Jiraiya started working his finger in and out of the seductive hold of his body, he pushed deeper as his sensual lover mewed and pressed down into his fingers, then he brushed a chakra stroke over his sensual partner's pleasure spot and gradually added another finger.

 

He loved listening to his cries and knew Ibiki now blocked their enthralling lover's release.  Kakashi's body loosened very quickly, desperate for more.   Jiraiya knew he'd teased him enough, his body was ready, and cupped his ass and lifting him and letting him sink down slowly taking his aching cock into the nirvana of his body.

 

_Ibiki kissed Kakashi passionately, Kakashi gave a deep groan into their kiss at the surge of rapture he felt as Jiraiya's cock slipped through the ring of muscles into his body._

_The slow rock of Jiraiya inside him... the tease of Ibiki's caresses was so strong he shook with the power of his desire._

**Kakashi keened and arched, but Ibiki blocked his release pressing at the base feeling the contractions of the smaller man's muscles as he tried to cum, he was fevered with passion and he rocked his hips ecstatically panting and giving the most enthralling whimpers and rapturous mews.**

_He was trembling in pleasure as the brush of Ibiki's fingers over his cock and balls, along with the slow even strokes of Jiraiya within him, brought increasingly powerful contractions as he tried to cum, and soon he was crying out loudly at the extreme pleasure of their touches._

 

Kakashi rose up on his knees as Ibiki released and stroked their lover's aching flesh, he arched and gave howls of ecstasy as he was allowed to cum.  Jiraiya cried out in ecstasy as the hard contractions of their lover's amazing body brought his release and he bucked into the glorious sensation.   Kakashi dropped to the base for Jiraiya's last soft stroke, and lay back panting against their lovers chest.

 

Kakashi wasn't the only one panting, Jiraiya had struggled to keep his strokes slow and even when his body ached to thrust fast and deep... his balls burned at his denying the overwhelming need to cum...  but holding his quivering lover, feeling his blissful sighs as his body calmed made the effort worth it.   Jiraiya wrapped his arms around his waist and placed soft kisses over his shoulders, "Your moans are so addictive..."

 

Kakashi lay his head back on Jiraiya's chest, his eyes held a hint of insecurity and the gesture looked more like a need for reassurance than weariness,  "I need you both... in every way." 

 

**Ibiki  drew him up off Jiraiya's sated length and he held the slender man cradled gently to him, "I need _you_ in every way too, I will never leave you and neither will Jiraiya.  You are so precious to us."**

**Jiraiya massaged his back lightly, "You and Ibiki are everything to me, I don't want to ever be away from you."**

**Kakashi sighed happily, "This is... right, like we were meant to be together, it feels so good." Then he looked over at Ibiki and bluntly asked, "I want you even now, even while my body is sated I crave to feel your body covering mine your cock thrusting into me..."**

**Ibiki groaned cupped his face kissing him passionately, and teased.  "You tempt me so greatly."**

**Kakashi brushed his finger's over Ibiki's turgid cock, "I need to feel you in me."**

**"I could never deny you my Saiai."  Ibiki lay him down on the bed and kissed his throat up to his ear as he pressed into his slick passage.**

 

_Kakashi panted hard he wanted this wanted it so greatly, the need to have his lover filling him so great that he trembled with it, stoking his lover's back, as Ibiki's cock thrust slow and deep, and earning excited cries from him and making his body eagerly respond to the pleasure.  He knew his beloved was becoming desperate to cum after having watched him and Jiraiya, and he was getting close again too!_

_Kakashi wrapped his legs around his lover tilting his hips up into his strokes in a wanton plea for more._

_He wanted it so greatly that as Ibiki reached his climax Kakashi grasped his ass trying to draw him deeper, Ibiki groaned and rocked teasing out his orgasm until too sated to continue.   Kakashi cried out ecstatically at the urgent bucks of his lover's hips, as he completely sated himself within him and the feel of his body around his lover's sated flesh._

_As he lay he panted in satisfaction,  Ibiki kissed him softly, "You are so incredibly sexy and I am so lucky to have your love."_

 

**Ibiki swore he loved his partners so deeply that he'd do anything to make them happy, "You and Jiraiya are the precious center of my world Saiai, the one thing that matters more than anything else ever could.  I will give you anything."**

**Kakashi kissed him again his gaze loving, "You both have already gave me everything I could ever want, all I want and need is both your love."**

 

Jiraiya now lay beside them and caressed their bodies, "You have that, you will always have that precious Myobu."

 

They would need to shower... all three were very sticky, both in fruit juice and with sweat after the activities 'tasting fruit' had brought about, after a few minutes of caressing his partners, they rose to shower.

 

As they showered they lovingly stroked each other under the soft spray of the shower, enjoying feeling the ones they loved and placing light kisses over each other's body.  Although the three men were sated, this time was cherished.  The love they felt made them feel secure and at peace, no matter what chaos came in their day, these moments brought a stability that all three men had needed for so long. 

 

_Kakashi felt such strong joy every moment he was with his lovers, it was hard to remember now how it had felt to live that cold empty life he'd had before.  Which brought to mind Hebi, no one should be alone like that.  Today he would talk to him about Iruka again._    

 

============================

 

_He was so happy, Jiraiya and Ibiki made his life... perfect.  Hebi needed this too, this acceptance and happiness.  Kakashi had  talked to Hebi this morning and all that was left was to talk to Iruka, talking to people was still very awkward... but it was getting a bit easier, he didn't feel as uncomfortable with Iruka and Hebi, it felt like they accepted him and did not expect him to act like the other Shinobi._

_When he entered the missions office Iruka smiled, he did not seem disturbed that he was late and simply searched through the missions before offering one.  Kakashi took the mission scroll from Iruka... he felt a bit more relaxed since they were the last two people in the office.  Iruka looked up at him with a friendly expression that helped ease his discomfort at speaking, Kakashi softly stated.  "The person I want you to meet... like me... he's going to be at Ichiraku's at noon."_

_Iruka smiled happily, "I will go there for lunch."_

_Uncertain what else to say Kakashi nodded awkwardly then walked out to do his mission.  He was sure this was right... Hebi needed Iruka, he shouldn't be alone anymore._

 

\---------------

 

_The mission had not taken much time and had not been physically taxing, as he walked into their house Jiraiya put his writing away and walked over to gently kiss him.    Kakashi felt his body heat with desire, that was normal he felt that way every time his beloved enclose him in his arms.  He wanted to feel his nude lover's body against his, but he could resist, he wanted to go spar.  "Will you come spar with me?"_

_Jiraiya smiled lovingly, "Yes, my beautiful Myobu, I would love to."_

_Jiraiya made him so happy, the wonderful feelings his word and touch brought... and the feeling of value and acceptance he'd get from having Jiraiya and Ibiki spar with him... he never imagined life could be so incredible!_

 

=======================

 

Their sparing had been intense, his amazing Myobu was getting very good at reading his body language and predicting his movements.  No one knew how extremely talented he was, he'd never had anyone to challenge him and now that he did he was improving at a unbelievable rate. His beloved had no idea how amazing he was, in every way.

 

They entered the bathhouse and Jiraiya 'sealed it', just as he always did, but now it was more for the fact that he knew he'd be unable to resist his sensual lover than any discomfort from his beloved.  Both men were very aroused as they stripped and walked out to the hot spring and it was not surprising when Kakashi slipped up to straddle his lap, both their cocks swollen and eager.  Jiraiya rocked his hips slightly and Kakashi's eyes lit in excitement, "I need you in me."

 

Jiraiya gave a soft laugh, "That sounds like a very tempting offer... and not one I will refuse."  Jiraiya teasing words ended in a groan as his beloved immediately straddled him and pressed slowly down on his cock.  Jiraiya panted at the tease of the waters current on his shaft as the exquisite grasp of his lover's body dropped slowly down to cover it.  Jiraiya moaned, "So sexy... you feel so good."

 

_As Kakashi settled at the base he leaned into his lover and lay his head against his chest.  Jiraiya trusted him... really trusted, he did not hesitate or become anxious he'd hurt him, that was another thing that made everything so wonderful... trust._

 Jiraiya gently kissed his temple, "And _this_ feels so much better than good, I love the feel of you lovingly embracing me."

 

Kakashi looked up, "You make me happy... even when I'm gone on a mission I can think of you and feel good." 

 

Jiraiya kissed him, "I'm glad.  You and Ibiki make me very happy."  Kakashi squirmed slightly on his cock and Jiraiya teased gently as rocked his hips, "So happy, in so many ways." 

 

_Kakashi mewed, rocking his hips and slowly fucking himself on the turgid length, Jiraiya felt amazing inside him!  Kakashi kissed his throat and breathlessly begged, "Cum in me... Let me feel the wonderful sensation of your cock moving in me... please."_

Jiraiya kissed his ear and purred, "How could I resist my sensual lover's amazing body?  Yes, Saiai."

 

_Kakashi gave a soft whimper at the teasing brush of warm breath over his sensitive ear and feel of his beloved's lips on it.  His body ached to feel his amazing lover... the sound of Jiraiya's cries of ecstasy were too thrilling to deny, everything about him made him so aroused!_

Jiraiya had never experienced this, these hot spring exploits were something only his amazing Myobu and himself had shared... as experienced as he was, his lovers still brought new amazing pleasures with their every touch and their eager delight in his body.

 

His Myobu arched into him and begged, "Please... don't let me cum... I want to feel by body clasped tight around you as your cock jumps inside me." 

 

Jiraiya rocked his hips, then bucked and groaned, Kakashi's legs wrapped around his waist and the hot water swirling around his taut balls was such a glorious feeling that his release came very easily.  Even as he came the current of the waters continued teasing him into soft bucks into the welcoming grasp of his lover's body.

 

Now very sated he rose lifting his fevered lover off his sated length setting him on the side of the pool and dropping down to take his cock in his throat as his hand cupped his lover's balls and sent low pulses of chakra over the tightly gathered orbs.  Kakashi's loud howls of rapture were one of the sweetest sounds he'd ever heard, no one had ever brought him such joy as his lovers.

 

===========================

 

Iruka was excited, meeting someone he'd never met before!  He walked a bit faster and when he arrived at Ichiraku's it was not hard to guess who it was he was there to meet.  He didn't remember ever talking him before, although he'd seen him a few times... he was very sexy... Iruka's cheeks tinted and he quickly pushed those thoughts aside. 

 

The man rose, "Hello Iruka."

 

Iruka smiled, "You have me at a disadvantage, I do not know your name."

 

It was a bit difficult to ignore how his heart sped as the man rose, he was taller than himself but only slightly, but that wasn't what sent a surge of lust through him.  It was the fluid ease of how he rose... graceful in a masculine way, he could almost picture the way his muscles flexed beneath his clothes... Iruka tried to draw his attention back to civil conversation.

 

The man laughed softly, "Onken Yuusui."  His eyes held mirth even as he waved to the chair beside him.  "Would you please sit and eat with me?"

 

Iruka's eyes fell to Onken's hands and his cheeks tinted again, he never had reacted so strongly to anyone before!   Just looking at his hands brought thoughts of being caressed by them...  once more he tried to steer his thoughts back into less 'carnal interest', he did not know anything about this man...  and now he was very certain he wished to know _everything_ about him!  

 

Hebi was aroused and very intrigued, Iruka had seemed like a fascinating man from what he'd known of him before, but  in person he was very captivating, he had a wonderful mix of shyness and passion in his eyes.  He was very thankful Kakashi had decided they should meet.

 

Iruka nodded and sat, Kakashi was right, his friend was very easy to like, a relaxed confidence and gentle eyes.   Iruka tried to place him... Onken Yuusui.  He wasn't sure but he believed someone had once said there was a weapon repair place at the farthest outskirts of the village... it was only open by appointment.  Yes, he'd told Shinta to try going there to repair his father's decorative katana after the boy had 'borrowed' and damaged it.  "You are the owner of the weapon repair shop?"

 

Hebi gave a friendly smile, "Yes, I really don't do much business."   In time Iruka would figure it out, he was a very intelligent man, but for now this worked.  He was certain this man was someone he'd like to spend much more time with.

 

===================================================

 

They were back at the house and just leaving the shower when Ibiki walked in, Kakashi went over and molded his nude body against him, getting an instant response from his. 

 

Jiraiya joined them and gave Ibiki a deeply loving kiss, "You are early Koishii."

**Ibiki groaned and kissed them both passionately before answering, "I was done with everything a bit earlier than normal and thought I'd meet you both here.**

**Kakashi looked up, "How did you know we'd be here?"**

**Ibiki laughed, "I heard you both were training and I'm familiar with what comes after that."**

**Jiraiya smiled and nodded, "Seeing his sexy body all sweat covered... his clothes clinging to his body..."**

**Ibiki groaned, "What a tease, now I'll be picturing that every time I hear you two are training."  He could feel Kakashi flushing hard against him and it enflamed his own need.  Jiraiya had slipped around to cupping him from behind and was skillfully stripping him.**  

 

Jiraiya was amazed, his strong Koishii had come so far, Kakashi was erect against him, he was cupping him from behind and stripping his clothes... and Ibiki was completely undisturbed, only a few years ago they would never have been able to do _any_ of these things!

 

As he finished undressing Ibiki, Jiraiya watched with interest as Kakashi urged him to sit down on the bed, then positioned himself straddling his lap.

 

_Kakashi rested on his knees, his back against his seated lover's chest, straddling his lap and slowly pressed down to take the engorged flesh deep, sinking the swollen length into his body to the base and hearing  Ibiki moan deeply.  Ibiki's hands rested very lightly on his hips and Kakashi could feel them tremble.  The evidence of how greatly his lover desired him was a tease and it was difficult to move slowly, only rocking his hips... he wanted this to last and wanted to resist fucking himself urgently on Ibiki's incredible cock as long as he could._

 

**Ibiki was glad he was able to surprise them, he definitely wouldn't have wanted to wait to walk home with them... of course they'd handled that issue a few times, he was thankful his old office on the lower level was left fully furnished.  Ibiki felt Jiraiya behind him, his mouth teasing his sensitive neck.  Between his two partners he was quickly too aroused to think of anything but the extreme pleasure of their actions.**

 

_Soon Kakashi was lifting and lowering on the rigid length, delighting in the feel of his beloved and feeling the deep pleasure he was giving Ibiki in every jump of his muscles and tremble of his body.  Now he gave in fucking himself faster, but cupped Ibiki's hands to his hips and begged, "Let me feel you buck into me!"_

 

**Jiraiya stroked chakra brushes up Ibiki's spine adding a stronger urgency to his thrusts, the tease was incredible!  Ibiki groaned and panted as he began bucking up into every drop, crying out in ecstasy.**

**"I love the feel of you!" Kakashi wantonly moaned. The stroke of his saiai's body on his cock left him nearly whimpering it felt so good!**

 

_Ibiki gave another deep groan and his bucks grew faster, Kakashi braced down into every firm buck delightedly before lifting and dropping once more.  He rose up slightly on his knees allowing Ibiki greater movement and giving rapturous cries as Ibiki's hands tightened slightly and he began rapidly thrusting up into him, their bodies meeting and driving his cock into the needy depths.  To Kakashi's delight Ibiki's one hand slipped from his hips to rest on his pelvis pressing and making every thrust rub against his pleasure spot.  As Kakashi neared his orgasm he arched back, resting his head against Ibiki's shoulder as he howled in ecstasy, resisting his desperate need to cum until he was quivering in desperation then giving in and crying out as he_ climaxed _, dropping down so his rippling passage embraced Ibiki's cock and moaning as Ibiki urgently bucked then sank deep as he came within him._

 

Jiraiya watched them with a loving and very aroused smile, but as they caught their breath resisted the temptation to touch them and only suggested.  "We should go make our meal."

 

Ibiki's gaze slipped down to Jiraiya's erection and he groaned.  Jiraiya's smirk grew, his Koishii's cock obviously gave a 'jump of interest' in Kakashi's body by the way their sensual lover's bi-color eyes widened then darkened in desire. 

 

Jiraiya shook his head in amusement, this could go on all night, "Let's eat before continuing to sate our 'other hungers'."

 

Ibiki laughed and helped support Kakashi as he rose off his sated flesh, "Yes, we miss a lot of meals this way..."

 

Still they all went in to wash, and somehowresisted the desire to touch each other... but after they ate there was no doubt in any of the three men's minds what they'd be doing.

 

=====================

 

Ibiki would not be off work for a bit and Tsunade and Shizune were in a council meeting, Jiraiya decided he would go visit Iruka for a bit before going to see his Koishii.  Normally he'd spend some time with Kakashi, it was actually his day off after a regular mission, but his Myobu was gone on an ANBU mission...  Jiraiya remembered when these times when Kakashi was gone had been about healing his Koishii's 'damage', now that was in the past and these moments were only filled with pleasure.

 

Iruka looked up as Jiraiya walked in and smiled as the gregarious man sat on the corner of his desk looking down with genuine pleasure, "You look good today."

 

Iruka gave a slight smile but couldn't help widening it as he thought about why he felt so wonderful.  "Since meeting Onken I have been so happy."

 

Jiraiya nodded, his eyes warm and understanding, "Love is a wonderful feeling."

 

Iruka looked around the empty office then quietly continued, "I'm becoming... attached him much faster than is probably right... Every time I look at him I can feel my body heat with need, my breathing quicken and my skin ache for his touch..." Iruka blushed and looked away, "I barely know him, you must think me a fool..."

 

Jiraiya laughed, but there was no mockery in his expression, "I'm pretty sure that I've heard others express that kind of interest in another before."  His eyes were serious, "Don't be afraid to do what's in your heart.  And if it helps, Onken has become Kakashi's second close friend."

 

Iruka smiled, "Then he must be a very good person."  It did help, he trusted Kakashi and even if things were a bit more 'intense' than he'd ever felt about any of his past lovers... it would be ok.

 

Jiraiya nodded as he rose from the desk , "I should go now, Ibiki will be done with work soon."

 

Iruka nodded, it just occurred to him that Jiraiya had not come to sit and wait for Kakashi... he'd come to talk to him!  Iruka didn't think he could be happier, but Jiraiya's words as he turned to leave made him nearly giddy with joy. 

 

The congenial man stopped at the door and looked back with a smile.  "If you are wondering who Kakashi's first dear friend was... it's you.  You have become a close friend to us all."

 

Iruka grinned, friends... Kakashi really thought of him as a friend... they all thought of him as a friend, it was wonderful!  Jiraiya waved and continued out the door.

 

=================================================

 

Iruka felt a bit shy, he'd decided to take Jiraiya's advice and do as his heart told him, he'd asked Onken to come to dinner at his place... He'd invited him over to his _home_ , most men would assume they would have sex, not that they'd truly have dinner.

 

But when his guest arrived, Onken seemed like having dinner was exactly what he'd expected and that he was looking forward to sitting and eating together... he'd even brought a fresh fruit dessert.

 

\-----

 

After they ate they went to sitting in the living room and talk.  The longer Onken knew Iruka the more enthralled he became, he'd never met anyone that had so naturally became a part of his life as if it had already been months and not days.  The attraction was so powerful that he could not help wishing to touch him in anyway whenever Iruka was near, brushing his arm gently, seeing the warmth and affection in his eyes... his stories of the antics of his students were very humorous, and his stories about the antics of the nin in the Missions office were even more hilarious.  "The meal was amazing, you are a wonderful cook."

 

Iruka's cheeks flushed slightly, but it was the desire in his wonderful brown eyes that held Onken captive... the way his soft lips were parted slightly, his breathing fast.  Iruka was one of the most tempting men he'd seen in a very long time.

 

Iruka sat close and leaned into the light caresses Onken gave him as they talked, he nearly groaned with every tender stroke of the incredible man's hand, his cock was throbbing wantonly begging for the sensual man's touch.  Although Onken knew he was aroused and was definitely aroused himself, his touches remained soft and affectionate, he did not expect more and was enjoying caressing him... but what decided it for Iruka was the light stroke of his fingers on his inner wrists.  He desired him... it did not matter if they had barely gotten to know one another, he already felt closer to Onken than he'd ever felt with his former partner.  "I want you."

 

Onken nodded, stroked his cheek, then rose and drew him up.  Just the feel of Onken's firm body against his as he drew him close had left no doubt, Iruka was certain this was what he wanted... more than anything in a very long time! 

 

Onken enclosed the slender man and placed tender kisses over his face, nuzzling his throat and bringing hard shivers of delight from the gorgeous man.   Iruka arched into him his erection pressed firmly against his body.  Slowly his fingers brushed over Iruka's chest, unfastening his shirt to stroke the soft skin of his chest.  Iruka gasped and gave a soft buck, Onken brushed his shirt off and began kissing his chest as his fingers slipped lower, brushing over the cloth bound length of Iruka's swollen cock and getting a mews of delight that quickly had his own cock straining to be free.

 

Iruka gave a wanton little whimper and at his encouragement, Onken's fingers skillfully bared the sexy man's cock then his hands slipped in the back to cup and stroke over his ass as he drew his pants down.  Iruka gladly stepped free.

 

Iruka was amazing!  So perfect, so sensual, every inch of his incredible body demanding to be touched... caressed, kissed... Onken's hand caressed the tender skin of his pelvis, watching the beautiful brown eyes close in pleasure at his touch, the soft pants of his desire so tempting.  He kissed Iruka's throat as  his fingers appreciatively followed the fine trail of hair down from his navel feathering lightly over his balls then up the rigid length to the flushed head of his cock. He circled his finger over the precum damp head and Iruka shivered as he moaned, then pleaded, "Please, I need to see you." 

 

Onken unfastened his shirt and Iruka  quickly brushed it off, then his hands dropped to bare all of the extremely seductive man.  Only one thing brought a pause; as Iruka's hand stroked over his new lover's hip he could feel the top of a scar, his touch lightened and his fingers very lightly trailed down the scar as he drew his pants down.

 

Onken was stunned by the sight of concern in Iruka's eyes the gently caring caress of the long scar that ran over his left hip and down his upper thigh, although they remained aroused the look in his eyes was adoring, the brush of his fingers gentle.

 

Iruka wasn't surprised by the scar, but the length left no doubt it had been a terrible injury, it was likely that was why he was not on mission status... no, he moved so fluidly, it did not hamper him...  at least not for a regular mission... all thought vanished in a surge of powerful lust as he finished baring the riveting man's body. 

 

Iruka's lips parted and his breathing was ragged, his eyes glued to the enthralling sight.  He could feel the rapid excited drum of his heart, the way his body ached to feel every inch of him pressed tightly to his body.  Slowly his gaze slipped down to rest on the temptation of his lover's engorged length, his hunger slowly flaring until he was ablaze with lust... he molded his body against his new lover's their cocks pressed between them in a tease of both their need, it was almost as great a tease as what Onken's hands were now doing.  His hands cupped and gently kneaded Iruka's ass then a finger slipped between the cheeks to brush lightly over his rim, it was nearly enough to make him plead!

 

Slowly Onken rocked his hips, their cocks rubbing against each other where they were trapped between their bodies and Iruka grasped his ass.  Pressing forward and thrusting against him until both were crying out in fevered moans.  Onken wrapped his arm around Iruka stroking his back as they thrust into the pleasure then nuzzled his throat, the finger that had been teasing his entrance slowly pressed in and the rock of Iruka's body as he thrust against him stroked the digit within him.  Iruka cried out in stunned rapture, bucking hard and writhing against him as he came.  The continued stimulation of Onken's hard cock rubbing against his and the damp slick fluid of his cum making every thrust such exquisite ecstasy that Iruka was crying out in loud moans at every thrust until the tease drew every last drop from him.

 

Onken stopped and slipped his finger out, kissing Iruka's throat as the smaller man panted, then brushing a kiss lightly over his lips. 

 

Iruka was riveted, although the rapture of his body was strong it was Onken's eyes as he looked into his that held him captive... eyes dark with emotion... not lust, affection.  The tender caress of his hand on his back even as Iruka could feel the engorged length of his cock still pressed between them...

 

Iruka's hand slipped between them and wrapped around the turgid flesh, when Onken moaned... his eyes lit with excitement and he gave Onken's engorged length another slow stroke, then sincerely asked, "I want to take you in my mouth."

 

Onken stroked his face, "I would love that."

 

Iruka slipped down before him, taking the hot turgid length in his mouth and caressing the wonderful length, teasing the tender flesh and earning a loud groan as his thumb rested along the top at the base and blocked his lover's release, stroking the flushed tip with his tongue, then lifted his thumb and dropped down to the base.

 

Onken gave a loud shocked cry of rapture and a soft buck, Iruka was delighted and continued teasing him by caressing his balls until he got another softer buck before drawing back and releasing his sated length.  When Iruka rose Onken gathered him tightly to him kissing him passionately.  It sent a thrill through Iruka that he had brought him such strong pleasure. 

 

Onken drew back from the kiss, but continued holding his lover close and caressing him, he didn't want to let him go... he didn't ever want to let him go.  Iruka snuggled against him, although both were sticky and sweaty, they couldn't have been more content.

 

\------

 

Iruka drew him into a shower the slow wash of each other's body soon had both men very aroused again.  "I want to feel you inside, feel your body covering mine as you thrust into me... please."

 

Onken kissed him softly, "I will give you anything."

 

Iruka stroked his face, "I want _you,_ to feel your touch and your kisses..."  his cheeks tinted slightly, "To feel your cum inside me... " his blush deepened.  "and to wake up in the morning beside you."

 

Onken cupped his cheek and kissed him deeply, "I would love to wake with you cradled in my arms."

 

Iruka's blush faded, his heart pounding as much at his lover's words as the fact he desired Onken so greatly.  Iruka lead him out to the bed, then lay him down slipping up on top of him, Iruka was grateful that Onken did not seem bothered.  It wasn't even something he'd thought of, but Onken could have been someone who could not or would not 'bottom'.  But there was no indication of any reluctance... still Iruka did not wish to fuck him, he wanted to feel the tempting hard flesh deep inside him!

 

Iruka slipped up to straddle him and ran a lube slick hand up the swollen length.  As Iruka rose over the tempting length, Onken cupped his hips lightly and they both cried out in satisfaction as Iruka's body welcomed the hard length deep inside. 

 

Onken cupped and stroked Iruka's hips and ass moaning deeply as the seductive man began rocking on his needy flesh, his body quickly loosening until he was riding his cock urgently, arching and trembling in rapture. 

 

Iruka lay down on him and straightened his legs, "Please fuck me!"

 

Onken cupped his lover to him and rolled over to place him beneath, Iruka eagerly wrapped his legs around his waist and as Onken began to thrust rocked rapidly into his thrusts his hands cupping and urging Onken into faster harder thrusts until they were urgently fucking.  Onken rose up to his knees to  skillfully stroke Iruka's cock.  Iruka gave loud cries as he climaxed and trembled in excitement as he reached up and drew his lover down to cover him again.  Although he'd cum this was desired just as greatly, the feel of his lover's balls pressed to his ass as he climaxed, enjoying every jump of his cock inside him, feeling his lover filling him with his cum and hearing the loud moans of rapture he gave as he climaxed.

 

Onken, now sated and a bit breathless, kissed Iruka deeply, there was no doubt he was coming to love the incredible man... everything about him was so perfect.  After they showered again, it was time to talk to Iruka about his being in ANBU, there would be no secrets between them.  He just hoped Iruka wasn't upset, he couldn't lose this amazing man... if he was upset they'd somehow work it out, he was certain this was the man he wished to spend the rest of his life beside.

 

Iruka sighed happily, this felt right... every moment he was in Onken's arms felt like it was where he belonged.  Even sated he looked up at Onken and felt desire and... love, there was the truth.  He loved him, he loved Onken and didn't ever want him to leave.  Jiraiya was right... doing what his heart told him to do had brought them both this happiness and deep connection, he wouldn't be afraid of how strongly he felt any more.  "I want you to stay... more than just tonight."

 

Onken smiled tenderly, "I would love nothing more than to lay with you every night,  feel you cradled in my arms and wake to see your smile."

 

Iruka was so happy he was speechless and just drew him into a deep kiss... this was 'the one', the person he'd been waiting for.

 

=====================================

 

When Jiraiya walked into Ibiki's office Kakashi had just completed his verbal mission report, Ibiki nodded, then all formality slipped away and he rose to cradle Kakashi in his arms.  They reached out a hand to Jiraiya and he gladly let them draw him into their embrace, they kissed then started their walk home.

 

Jiraiya smiled as Kakashi's fingers brushed theirs as they walked, his Myobu was slowly relaxing.  The repetition, support and having friends had started to sweep away his lover's social anxiety.  He now didn't feel so on display and would briefly touch them as they walked together.

 

They had overcome so many obstacles, both his lovers were so strong and had steadily worked towards the freedom they desired in their life.  He knew Ibiki often felt like he wasn't giving their partner the same trust he gave to him... this was something they could work on and overcome.

 

 Jiraiya had been thinking about this the whole walk home, as was often the case, all three men were aroused and when they walked in the door of their home he cupped Ibiki lightly from behind as he asked, "Koishii, can Kakashi make love to you?"

 

**Ibiki gave him a faintly anxious glance, it was unexpected but definitely something he should do... but he wasn't sure he could.  His uncertainty was swept away as he saw the anxiety in his Saiai's eyes, he stroked his lover's gorgeous face, "You will not hurt me and Jiraiya will be here.  Trust in him, you know he'd never allow either of us to hurt the other even accidentally."**

**Kakashi nodded his distress had eased, but not disappeared, softly he replied, "I don't know what to do to give you pleasure."**

**Ibiki kissed him tenderly, "Just touch me, I love your touches."**

**They stripped and as they lay down on the bed, Ibiki lay on his back and Kakashi slipped up over him... this felt eerily like when Jiraiya was first helping them have sex, it was not a pleasant thought.  Before Ibiki could speak his Saiai turned his worried gaze on their partner, it now held sadness,  "I need you involved, really involved... _we_ need you."  **

**Jiraiya gave them a loving smile, "I will be."**

**"You are our partner, both of us, loved and wanted just as greatly."  Ibiki added, Kakashi nodded he still didn't look comforted**.

 

Jiraiya studied Ibiki's tensed form and his Myobu's anxious eyes, they could not just jump into this, it had to be much slower.  Both his lovers needed reassurance very much,  he kissed Kakashi's ear and purred, "Myobu lay on the bed I wish to touch you both."

 

Kakashi nodded, some of his anxiety fading and Ibiki's muscles relaxed... it was now clear their slender lover could not cover him, not at this time.  In the future perhaps but not when his Koishii was feeling anxious and struggling with so many emotions.

 

**Ibiki released a sigh, tension he hadn't realized he'd had now seeping away, he was anxious for so many reasons... not that Kakashi would hurt him.  He knew his gentle Saiai would not hurt him, mostly he was worried he would react in some way that would be upsetting to his beloved.  Even showing his anxiety was upsetting to his lover... all thoughts ceased as Jiraiya stroked his cock, sending strong pulses of chakra over the head.  Ibiki groaned loudly, "Koishii!"**

 

Jiraiya's fingers feathered over Kakashi's pelvis with light pulses of chakra, but what had really excited his Myobu was their partner's moan.  Jiraiya's experienced touch quickly had him panting,  Kakashi had rolled onto his side to watch Ibiki even as he whimpered in delight at the continued tease of Jiraiya's touch now brushing the cheeks of his ass. 

 

Kakashi began tracing chakra pulses over Ibiki's chest, his eyes dark with desire and filled with fascination, his gaze slipped down to where Jiraiya's hand stroked their lover.

 

_It was so arousing watching Jiraiya stroking their partner and feeling his muscles flex at both their touches!  He wanted to feel Ibiki's body covering him.  "I want to feel you on top of me... I want to feel your muscles against me as Jiraiya touches you."_

_Ibiki groaned softly, "So sexy, my wonderful  Saiai."_

 

Jiraiya released him and Kakashi rolled onto his back, his hands gently grasping Ibiki's back, his delight at the feel of his lover was very evident.   Jiraiya stroked slow pulses of chakra over Ibiki's back down to his ass as his Koishii kissed their partner passionately.

 

_Kakashi felt a thrill as Ibiki gave a soft buck against him, his stomach muscles rippling at the tease of their lover's touch.  His beloved broke their kiss to place kisses over his throat, and Kakashi trembled in pleasure giving ecstatic cries._

 

**Ibiki wanted to feel his Koishii's touch over his rim and dropped his legs to straddle Kakashi's body baring his entrance to his beloved's skilled touch.  The pleasure that came brought a breathless cry and another soft buck.  Jiraiya's slick finger brushed around the tender flesh and tempted him so greatly that as he felt a low pulse of chakra over the area he braced back into it feeling the amazing pleasure as it slipped inside.**

 

_Kakashi was trembling in excitement now, not only at the light kisses of his lover but the way he could feel Ibiki harden further against him!_  

 

Jiraiya smiled, he loved watching his partners, touching them and hearing their ecstasy.  Ibiki's muscles loosened as his finger teased him and he showed no anxiety as his fingers slipped out and two very slick fingers tempted him until he was braced back eager for the sensation inside his body.  Again Jiraiya sent soft chakra pulses over the sensitive area as he brushed over the center, teasing him into wanting them inside so much that even as they slowly pressed in his beloved's muscles remained loose wanting the waves of chakra deep inside. 

 

His Koishii did not need to be 'loosened', he had to be relaxed and wanting the sensation of his lover moving in him.  Kakashi was very aroused, his lips parted in eager soft whimpers and pants at the feel of their lover.  

 

Jiraiya continued stroking his fingers in their partner a few more moments then did the one thing that would tell him if his Koishii could accept Kakashi in him.  If he could not then he was in a position to carefully push into the tight hold of their lover's body... Jiraiya's fingers slipped out and three circled, Ibiki did not tense and when he gently pressed, the three fingers slipped into his beloved's body sending stronger pulses into his core and making him fevered with need until he was rocking on them. 

 

**When they slipped out Ibiki desired the stimulation so greatly that he shifted up and pressed down into his lover's cock, feeling the slick glide as it slipped in through the muscles.  Kakashi gave a breathless cry,  Ibiki paused looking in his beloved's wonderful eyes.  He had no doubts now, yes, he wanted to feel his Saiai moving in him.**

**He slowly rocked his hips, moving the tempting length inside him, the waves of pleasure were made all the more exquisite by the gasps and mews of his quivering lover and Ibiki steadily rocked faster feeling his beloved trying to writhe in pleasure beneath him... then came the last powerful tease as Jiraiya's fingers traced chakra down his spine and he purred, "Can I grasp your hips?"**

**Ibiki gasped out, "Please!"**

 

Jiraiya was enjoying this greatly, he loved hearing his partners moans of ecstasy and at his Koishii's words he cupped his hips tilting them and urged Kakashi,  "Buck." 

 

Kakashi did without hesitation and both men cried out in rapture, Jiraiya released his Koishii's hips.   Ibiki now rocking urgently into the soft bucks of their lover's cock, after the long tease, both men easily reached their climax again. 

 

**Ibiki shifted up off his Saiai's sated flesh rolled on to his back and gathered his beloved up to lay on top of him.  Stroking his sexy body, "Saiai, I love you so much."**

**His enticing partner quivered and mewed, Ibiki was both amused and aroused as he realized Jiraiya was teasing their lover's ass,  Kakashi was very quickly teased erect and writhing on top of him, an action that swiftly teased him hard again.**

**Kakashi looked in his eyes, "I want you in me please!"**

**Ibiki groaned, there was no way he'd ever be able to resist a request from his sensual partner!  He cupped his lover's hips drawing him up then allowing him to press down taking his cock to the base in his slick passage.  His beloved's muscles were relaxed and the feel of chakra playing around his Saiai's entrance and up inside to flow over his cock inside drew loud cries of ecstasy from them both.  Ibiki began bucking into the pleasure urgently.**

**As they neared their orgasm Jiraiya urged Kakashi to lift up a bit and sent a strong pulse over his filled entrance, both men howled in rapture as they climaxed.  As they lay panting after, Ibiki felt no distress at his powerful thrust.  He knew his hard buck did not hurt his beloved, his Koishii would never allow either of them to be hurt.**

**Jiraiya... he was always placing their pleasure before his own.  Kakashi clearly had a similar thought because he was now looking over at their partner seriously.  In his usual blunt manner... a manner that Ibiki was very grateful for, Kakashi asked, "Why do you always treat us like we are more important?"**

**Jiraiya smiled as he replied, but the love in his eyes showed he was completely honest.  "You are more important, you are my amazing lovers.   You are everything to me, I want your happiness above all else."   **

**Kakashi took his hand drawing him close, and Ibiki added, "You are most precious to us, we want your happiness... we want you to know you are never second."  Kakashi nodded his eyes intently watching Jiraiya's face**.

 

Jiraiya kissed his Myobu and reassured, "I know, I do not always watch and I get great pleasure out of watching you both, hearing both of you cry out in pleasure is incredible."

 

Kakashi smiled, "I like watching too."  His smile disappeared and his gaze was serious once more, "Don't be last so much... I love to watch you and Ibiki... and I worry.   I become afraid,  because I don't know how to tell you how much I love you." 

 

Jiraiya gave him a loving smile, "You just did beautiful Myobu."

 

Kakashi slipped off Ibiki, "I want to touch you,"  He looked at Ibiki and corrected, "We want to touch you."

 

**Ibiki sat up and caressed his Saiai's face, "I want to take him in my throat, but I don't want to upset you... it frightens me, but I want to do it.  I don't want fear to stop me from things I want."**

**Kakashi stroked his neck tenderly, "I understand... I want you to do anything you wish, I will accept if it frightens you and remember you do this because you want to be free to do it."**

**Kakashi looked over at Jiraiya then down at his turgid length, "Someday I will be able to do it, but right now watching you will be enough."**

 

Jiraiya was so deeply in love with his partners, and proud they'd grown so strong, they discussed their feelings and accepted their desires.  Both men looked at him and the passion in their eyes brought deep happiness... their bodies were sated and they both still desired him, he felt so blessed to have earned their love.

  

Kakashi slipped around to kneel behind him stroking his back and kissing his throat.  Jiraiya gave a soft whimper as Ibiki licked his throbbing cock, then began placing kisses and sucking on the shaft, teasing his need higher.  Kakashi nuzzled Jiraiya's ear, "Cry out for him." 

 

Jiraiya relaxed, his Myobu was right their lover had not asked, but he needed it.  "Koishii!  Your touch... your kisses, amazing!"

 

**His Koishii moaned, breathless with desire and Ibiki felt a thrill at the sound of his beloved's  pleasure, he sucked on the swollen head, his tongue teasing it with light brushes over the smooth flesh.  Jiraiya gasped and moaned, his cries growing louder as he lost himself in the rapture.  Ibiki could feel his beloved nearing his orgasm and his thumb rested blocking him from cumming.  He needed to hear his lover feverishly crying out in pleasure and to know he was giving him intense pleasure with his mouth.**

 

_Kakashi watched, his fingers circling Jiraiya's nipples sending soft pulses of chakra over them.  Jiraiya cried out, his muscles flexing as he tried to cum.  The feel of his muscles jumping in need sent a thrill through Kakashi, he swept Jiraiya's hair aside teasing the sensitive area at the base of his neck with flicks of his tongue and feeling the tremble of their lover's body._  

 

**Ibiki was extremely excited by his Koishii's cries, he covered his engorged cock, stroking it with his mouth as Jiraiya's fevered moans tempted him further.  Every jump of his partner's muscles at the intensity of his pleasure brought him delight as he teased louder cries from his beloved**.

 

Jiraiya wanted Kakashi to see Ibiki, to tell him how sexy he was and ease his fear, but he was too urgently needy to find the words.  Kakashi kissed up to his ear, "Just enjoy it... please."

 

Jiraiya howled in rapture as his Koishii lifted his thumb and dropped to the base, he didn't have to try to give in to the pleasure, after such a long tease he couldn't resist it!  His cock jumped in the tight hold as he came, Ibiki drew back then shocked a rapturous wail from him as he dropped to the base again, stroking his balls and teasing another orgasm from him. 

 

**Ibiki drew back and released Jiraiya's gratified length then looked up, watching his seductive Koishii's ragged pants and the flush to his cheeks, he smiled and brushed a kiss over his amazing lover's lips.**

**Kakashi was ecstatic he slipped around from behind Jiraiya and kissed Ibiki passionately; when he drew back  he exclaimed, "You two are so sexy!"**

**Ibiki gave a soft laugh, "Perhaps next time I'll do it to you."  This had brought some fear but he knew every time it would bring a bit less.**

**Kakashi shook his head, "I like watching you make Jiraiya breathless, crying out in ecstasy!"**

 

Jiraiya groaned, "You do hmmm?"   He kissed his gorgeous Myobu and drew Ibiki forward into another kiss.  He knew taking him in his throat still brought him fear and he was surprised when his Koishii trustingly straddled his lap and molded his body against his as they kissed.

 

_Kakashi was nearly trembling he was so excited, although all three of them were too sated to become aroused this was perfect!  When his lovers broke their kiss, he smiled, "I'm happy... this feels good."_

_His partners laughed and Ibiki agreed, "Very good."_

_Jiraiya looked in his eyes and replied, "I'm happy too, I have two incredible men I love deeply and that love me..."_

_"Deeply." Kakashi added, he looked at Ibiki, he was uncertain if he should say it, but did, "I liked tasting Jiraiya's cum when I kissed you."_

_Ibiki nuzzled his ear and teased, "Then I guess I'll have to kiss you every time."_

 

Jiraiya gave them an amused smile as Kakashi nodded enthusiastically, then he suggested, "We should go shower."  Both his lovers agreed and they rose from the bed, after showering and caressing each other for a bit they would go help Ibiki make the evening meal. 

 

**This had brought them all so much closer, it felt like the path ahead would steadily grow more smooth as time passed.  Perhaps one day he would not have nightmares any more, but even his nightmares seemed able to be handled now and he couldn't be happier.  It had been a long and sometimes very painful path to reach this point, but what they had was worth every minute**.  **His partner's were wonderful and he felt so lucky to have them, their love made everything feel like it could be handled, no matter how difficult they'd find a way.**

 

 

*****************END OF STORY***************

**Author's Note:**

> The name Mikomi means ‘hope’  
> Tenshi means 'angel'  
> Myobu is a silver (good) kitsune  
> Koishii & Saiai are terms of endearment similar to 'beloved'


End file.
